HR changed our performance reviews, do I have to announce my pregnancy at work, and more

by Alison Green on March 19, 2025

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should I say something about past allegations against a colleague?

I started a new position about six months ago, working with partner organizations across the state on community projects. On a recent call, I was surprised to see someone I’ll call Brad.

I knew Brad from my time teaching in a different city, where he was an activist in the reproductive health rights space. A few years ago, Brad had to leave that work and relocate after being accused of grooming minors. Two friends who work in that space told me about it at the time.

Now, Brad is working in a different community-focused role, and while it’s unrelated to reproductive health, they are still in a position of influence. My role is to provide technical assistance to help make a project feasible for the community Brad works with. Brad is actively facilitating conversations with our partners. It feels surreal to be in meetings with someone who had to leave their previous job due to allegations of being a sexual predator. However, everything I know is secondhand. I don’t know if Brad’s new role involves minors.

Do I have an obligation to say something to my boss? Should I bring this up, even if I don’t have firsthand knowledge? Or is this one of those situations where I just have to compartmentalize and move on?

I don’t think you have an obligation to say something to your boss since (a) Brad isn’t working for your organization and (b) you heard about the allegations secondhand. But I don’t think think you’d be wrong to have a quiet word with your boss about it either — framed as, “I only have secondhand knowledge of this and no idea if his current job involves minors, but given that minors were involved previously, I felt uncomfortable keeping it to myself. Is this something you think we need to do anything with?”

2. HR unilaterally changed our performance reviews

During our most recent performance review period, managers were told that they had to score 75% of employees as 3s on the overall 1 through 5 rating scale (5 being the best), with the remainder split between 1/2/4/5s. Apparently, despite this, there were too many high scores given so HR went in and — seemingly randomly since they most certainly don’t have insight into people’s day-to-day performance — knocked people down to 3s. They also asked managers to change their comments on the reviews of people who had this happen to reflect the new scores. I was among this lucky demoted group, and since confirming that neither my manager or grandboss had any input on this change, I’ve felt increasingly frustrated by this situation since it has the potential to affect future promotions as well as this year’s salary increase and bonus.

Ranting about it to a friend who works in a different industry I found that his company had done the same thing! Is this a new trend? Can you think of any way to push back against this? One further complication is that it’s unclear if HR realizes that everyone knows what they did (a lot of managers were not happy with the changes).

This is not a new trend, but it’s a ridiculous practice. There have always been companies that insist on a certain distribution of performance evaluation ratings, which has always caused problems for managers and teams whose performance didn’t line up with the required distribution of scores. But the idea of HR randomly changing ratings and then demanding managers rewrite their comments to justify those ratings is an extra level of ridiculous; typically they’d just tell managers that they need to change their ratings and leave it to them to decide how to do that.

I do wonder whether it’s true that HR chose the new ratings randomly or whether it was based on anything (including conversations with managers). Managers wouldn’t necessarily disclose the latter to you, and might even prefer to let HR take the blame.

As for pushing back — if you’ve had glowing feedback all year (especially if it’s documented, but even if it’s not) and/or if you’ve met/exceeded the goals that were laid out for you, you could certainly highlight that and ask how your rating squares with your performance and the feedback you’ve received from your manager. They might not care, but it’s a reasonable avenue to pursue.

3. Do I have to announce my pregnancy at work?

Would it be extremely weird if I just didn’t widely announce my pregnancy at work? My boss and grandboss know, and a few other individuals I chose to tell, but I just really don’t want to make a big email announcement. I have a lot of anxiety about this pregnancy and it feels like a jinx (even though logically I know it’s not). But people will be able to tell I’m pregnant soon. Will it be weird if I go around with an obviously pregnant belly without ever having said anything? Am I inviting gossip and/or nosy questions? Do I just need to get over myself and send the darn email?

In some office cultures it might be a little weird. That doesn’t mean you have to announce if you don’t want to, though, and it sounds like the people who need to know already do.

For what it’s worth, in the offices where it would be unusual, I do think you’re probably inviting more speculation and gossip by not announcing it than by just sending out a brief email. Again, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, obviously it’s no one’s business, etc. etc., but realistically on closer-knit teams, people may notice and wonder if they missed an announcement. In fact, an advantage of sending a brief announcement is that if you want to, you could explicitly say, “I’m nervous about the pregnancy and would prefer not to be asked about it at work, thanks for understanding.”

Related:
my employee didn’t tell anyone she was pregnant until she was about to give birth

4. Was this training’s explanation of discrimination correct?

I had to take a training on workplace discrimination and harassment that was mandatory for all employees at my company. As part of the training, we were asked a series of hypothetical questions and had to answer whether they constituted discrimination or harassment. One example involved a graphic design company that had a project to design a logo for a football team, and gave the project to a male employee over a female one because “men know more about football then women.” The explanation given was that it was discrimination because whether someone knows about football is not relevant to their job performance.

It seems to me that if you’re designing a logo for a football team, your knowledge of football is indeed relevant to your ability to do so. The issue here is that they assumed the male employee must know more about football than the female employee solely because of his gender. Therefore, it does indeed constitute discrimination but the provided explanation is wrong. Whose explanation is correct?

Yours. It’s illegal discrimination to assign a project based on gender (“men know more about football than women do”) but not to assign a project based on a specific person’s knowledge or interest (“Lucas knows the most about football”).

Whoever presented this training (a) doesn’t have a good grasp of the material and (b) probably got sidetracked by the gendered nature of the sport and hopefully would recognize that “I’m assigning X to Lucas because he knows a ton about frogs” would be fine.

5. Are non-competes still legal?

I had a recruiter reach out to me for a job at a direct competitor. I’m not looking to leave, but I also mentioned that I have a non-compete.

He told me those “aren’t a thing anymore” and it wouldn’t hold up in court anyway. But I’ve been tracking them and saw that the FTC was trying to pass a law in September to stop non-competes nationally but it was being challenged by two different Texas courts and now the law is in limbo.

The recruiter said I was wrong, so I wanted to ask you since I know you have reported on them in the past. Can you give us an update? Again, I’m not looking to leave, but if I was I wouldn’t be comfortable with “it wouldn’t hold up in court.”

Yes, non-competes are still legal at the federal level.

In April 2024, the Federal Trade Commission announced it would ban them for most U.S. workers, saying they stifle wages. But before that could take effect, two federal courts (one in Texas and one in Florida) issued injunctions blocking it, saying the agency lacked the authority to issue the rule. The FTC was originally expected to appeal those rulings, but that’s much less likely to happen under the new administration.

In addition, in 2023 the National Labor Relations Board’s (NLRB) general counsel issued a memo stating that non-competes violate the National Labor Relations Act in most circumstances. However, that general counsel has been removed by the new administration, and that directive is very likely to be rescinded.

So for the time being, non-competes remain legal federally.

However, four states ban non-competes completely (California, Minnesota, North Dakota, and Oklahoma), and 33 more plus Washington, D.C. restrict them (generally via banning them for hourly wage workers or workers below a salary threshold).

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{ 64 comments }

{ 64 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Peregrine*

    It doesn’t seem all that odd to me to not send an email to your coworkers announcing your pregnancy. I would have found it strange if that had happened at any of my workplaces (whuch have all been majority women). When people get pregnant they tend to tell bossed and friends and the news circulates from there.

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    1. Trombonish*

      Seconding. I was about to comment that maybe it’s because my workplaces have been majority men, but in 13 years in engineering I’ve never seen an emailed pregnancy announcement beyond the “I’ll be back in X weeks” as they head out on leave.

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    2. Sans Serif*

      Yeah, I’ve never seen a general announcement. Many times, I won’t find out someone’s pregnant until they show. Heck, if they worked in a different office, I sometimes didn’t know till they went out on maternity leave. I just figured I wasn’t in the loop.

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    3. GammaGirl1908*

      Co-sign. I don’t think I would ever even consider sending an email. Obviously different offices have different cultures, but I would tell a few key people, including the office gossiper. Then I would let it come up naturally in conversation — that is, there would come a point where I would stop **avoiding** it, and just mention it if it makes sense to mention it. Then I would let the word spread from there.

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    4. Artemesia*

      Me too — when I was showing i.e. about 5 months, I let my boss and close co-workers know but no ‘announcement’ — Those directly affected heard it from me and everyone else noticed by and by.

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    5. Usually Just Reads*

      Joining the crowd here. Had 3 coworkers on my team go on maternity leave in the last year without any sort of team-wide announcement until we made it to the announcement of the leave itself. This might be culture-specific.

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    6. Buzzybeeworld*

      Agreed. I would find it so strange to have a coworker send a broad announcement of their pregnancy, as if work email were social media. Tell the people who need to know or who you’re close to, and everyone else will figure it out in due time.

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    7. the dr is in*

      It’s something that depends on the office. Early in my career I worked somewhere where it wouldn’t have been odd, but the last two places I worked were smaller and close knit and it would have had people talking if I hadn’t said something.

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    8. AnotherSarah*

      Agree. I’ve never seen anyone announce a pregnancy at my work (sometimes a shower gets announced, but by that time, basically everyone knows/has guessed). I didn’t announce either of mine by any sort of mass-email, but I did let my boss know quite early, and others with whom I need to work closely and would need to know about my leave pretty far in advance. Other people I work with, I told on what I felt like was an as-needed or as-wanted basis–probably about 2/3 of my colleagues knew, and the rest figured it out when I was on leave! I would find it really odd to get a pregnancy announcement, actually. (I also didn’t send a birth announcement around except to real friends at work, though.)

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    9. Happy*

      Yeah, I’ve worked in places than spanned from – Collecting money for the baby shower we’ll all celebrate in the conference room – to – Surprise! X won’t be in for a while because they are on parental leave…

      In all of them a group email announcement would have been out of place.

      This is so, so workplace dependent.

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    10. KateM*

      Yep. My teammmate’s (remote, in different countries) “pregnancy announcement” was during a team call “so, as some of you know, this is my last working day before my maternity leave, thanks for all your work on this project”.

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    11. KateM*

      Ah yeah, and a teacher’s pregnancy announcement was “due to X being away for a lengthy excused absense [that’s the wording this school uses for absolutely anything – sickness, courses, etc], the lessons plans have been changed since Y date, this is the new one”.

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    12. allathian*

      It really depends on the workplace, and also obviously on the legal requirements. I’m in Finland, and we’re legally required to disclose a pregnancy to the employer (manager/HR) at 26 weeks, if we don’t, the employer can refuse to pay the full salary for the first 12 weeks of leave (after that, parental allowance is paid by social services). Because our maternity leaves are generally longer than in the US (9-12 months is typical for the birthing parent, after that parents can share the leave, and a couple months at least are reserved for the non-birthing parent, if there is one, regardless of gender) and temps are generally hired for the duration of the long leave at least, this requirement seems reasonable to me. I have no idea what happens in the rare cases when a person doesn’t know they’re pregnant until they go to the ER with contractions, though.

      I told my manager at about 11 weeks because she found me asleep at my desk, my first trimester exhaustion was brutal. I told the rest of the team around week 26. I’d lost a substantial amount of weight before I got pregnant, so I just switched to the bigger pants again when I started to show. I managed without maternity pants until week 32, and by then, the news had spread after we posted a job ad for the temp who covered my maternity leave.

      I work for an organization with 1,800 employees in 30+ offices around the country, so we don’t typically announce pregnancies to the whole organization.

      The small organizations I’ve worked for earlier in my career have been small enough for everyone to be told in person at the office.

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      1. KateM*

        As far as I can tell, OP has told their employer, they are asking about company-wide email. There’s a difference between the employer knowing and all coworkers knowing, isn’t it? I imagine that telling about your pregnancy to employer is probably even in Finland usually done in other ways that sending a company-wide email and hoping that the person who has to take action based on it will notice and realize they have to take that action.

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    13. Elsa*

      Yup, I’ve been in the workforce for 20 years, in two countries, and I don’t think I’ve ever received an “I’m pregnant!” mass email from a coworker. I certainly never considered sending one myself for my pregnancies. I just told the boss, then told my close work friends, then figured that once I started showing more word would spread on its own.

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    14. Michigander*

      Agreed! I was pregnant for the first time during the first lockdown, when we all worked from home and no one saw me in person, and I still didn’t send an email around. I told my boss, then a month or two later told the people in my office in one of our weekly calls. Anyone else I just mentioned it if something relevant came up or if they needed to know about my maternity leave. It was similar for my second pregnancy, even though at that point we were in the office a couple times a week.

      Refusing to mention it to anyone would be odd, but sending an email to announce it to the whole office feels odd too. Just tell people when it comes up naturally in conversation or your stomach becomes impossible to ignore.

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    15. MK*

      I agree, but I think, in general, if you want to draw the least attention to an announcement in thw workplace, your best bet is to follow the most common practice; I think that’s the reasoning behind Alison’s response. If such announcements are usual in OP’s company, hers will be just another one.

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    16. Nodramalama*

      I just signed a card for someone going on maternity leave today. It would be quite weird if someone was pregnant and it wasn’t referred to eventually.

      Reply ↓
    17. Melonhead*

      Same. I can’t imagine sending an email about a pregnancy to the company at large. Nor have I ever worked anywhere where this was the practice.

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    18. KatCardigans*

      Yeah, I’ve never seen a formal pregnancy announcement sent out at work, and I’d be surprised to see one! Birth announcements, yes.

      I’m 8 months pregnant and there are still people at my work who are just now realizing that I’m pregnant because we don’t interact much and they’ve only seen me behind my desk. Nobody’s upset (although I think sometimes they feel like they’ve been unobservant). The people I interact with frequently and/or who needed to know in order to set things up for my maternity leave knew much earlier, of course. Overall, I wasn’t keeping it a secret past the first trimester, but it also wasn’t a conversation I started very often.

      Reply ↓
  2. Not your typical admin*

    For lw 1: I wouldn’t say anything. You have no actual knowledge of what happened, what the specific allegations were, or what an investigation found. Everything you know is secondhand.

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    1. New Jack Karyn*

      Eh, I think LW could say something about it. As long as she’s very clear that it’s second hand information, and she doesn’t necessarily know the outcome of any investigations. It sounds like Brad is public-facing, and if things blow up, it could affect LW’s organization.

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    2. Ellis Bell*

      If there’s even a remote chance of minors being involved, the default is better safe than sorry. In fields where safeguarding checks of vulnerable people happen, it would be seen as much worse to be overly cautious, secretive, or to sit on relevant information. This is something that is part of the day to day expectation in these fields, for example if a colleague does something untoward, or against policy while working with minors, without you knowing the whole picture, you let someone else figure out what to do with the pieces of info, but you don’t withhold any. This includes second hand information, you just include the source of information. People in these fields understand this default sets off a lot of false alarms, and that you might not know everything, and that you’re simply being overly cautious. The alternative is not to safeguard.

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      1. Greyhound*

        You need to be very very careful about making unsupported allegations about sexual misconduct. People’s lives get ruined like that.

        Reply ↓
        1. Your Local Password Resetter*

          People’s lives also get ruined because they get targeted by sexual predators and everyone dismisses the clear warning signs or actively tries to bury the evidence in the name of keeping the peace.

          Obviously LW should be clear about where this information came from and how reliable it is, but when you get publicly forced out after these kinds of accusations there’s a pretty good chance you’re guilty.

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          1. Scrimp*

            Not necessarily. It could be whoever was in charge also just wanted to be “overly cautious” and didn’t want to get involved, or that they were let go for entirely different reasons, that just so happened to coencide with these rumours.

            “They were let go therefore they are guilty” is a terrible assumption to make.

            It is good to be cautious and find out more information, but *we* absolutely do not have enough info to be the jury on this case.

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            1. duinath*

              Sure, which is why it would be irresponsible for us, as bystanders who don’t know the situation, to tell anyone to keep mum.

              People closer to the situation, if informed, can look into it and decide if it’s a concern. We cannot.

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          2. MK*

            That’s not actually true. It’s very difficult to convict a predator, but a person leaving their job because of allegations isn’t conclusive of anything. In many cases, it can be a case of an over-cautious employer or even the person themselves choosing to leave for their own safety.

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        2. bamcheeks*

          “making allegations” means you are saying that you know X abused someone. That’s significantly different from passing on knowledge and being clear and honest about the limitations of what you know and whether or not it’s relevant, and allowing people with oversight and experience of safeguarding to investigate further.

          At the moment, considerably more lives get ruined by failures of safeguarding and people protecting abusers. The balance of probability is still way, way more on the side that you will help people by passing on information (as long as you’re fully transparent about your sources) than that you will harm someone.

          That said, it’s very possible that Brad isn’t in a role which involves access to people perceived as vulnerable or that his employing organisation has already done adequate background checks and concluded that the allegations were unsubstantiated. So once you’ve passed it on to someone who has the power and oversight to decide whether there needs to be any action, I think you pretty much have to let it go.

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    3. JSPA*

      I think I would bring it up as a “me” thing, which is also what I’d do if I’d heard that someone had been abusive in a relationship with a friend.

      “Boss, I know that everyone needs a job, and that letting secondhand information color my interactions with someone is a problem on my end. However, I spent our conversation with [partner org] being interrupted by intrusive worries. Is there any way to tactfully ascertain whether Brad’s role at Org involves directing or otherwise being in authority over minors?”

      After that, Alison’s language applies.

      Reply ↓
  3. Joeb*

    What kind of wondering and speculation would be happening with someone being pregnant? That just sounds bizarre. I’ve got several coworkers who were pregnant that we didn’t know until they got bigger, and there was nothing weird about it.

    Reply ↓
    1. nnn*

      I read it as the wondering and speculation happens when the pregnant co-worker starts getting bigger in a way that visually suggests pregnancy (rather than simple weight gain) but hasn’t announced a pregnancy.

      Reply ↓
    2. Nodramalama*

      In my experience the speculation is a bit more when coworkers think someone might be pregnant but it hasn’t been announced.

      And the conversations are usually more like,… Is she? I’m not sure, I haven’t heard anything. I don’t want to mention it in case she’s not. Etc etc

      Reply ↓
      1. londonedit*

        Yeah, the thing is that there’s going to be a point where the OP will start to look visibly pregnant, and then if there hasn’t been an announcement of some sort, people are going to start thinking ‘Is OP pregnant? I haven’t heard anything…maybe not, then…I don’t want to say anything…she definitely looks pregnant, though…’ and that sort of thing.

        It might be different in the UK because people do need to disclose a pregnancy to their employer because of maternity leave and health & safety etc (also because you’re allowed time off for appointments related to the pregnancy and so on). I don’t think I’ve ever seen a ‘company-wide announcement’, though – usually what happens is that the person will initially tell their boss, and begin to sort out any HR-related stuff to do with their pregnancy, and then they’ll tell their closer colleagues in person. Anyone they don’t work with on a regular basis will probably find out in a more organic way – probably when they see the pregnant person around the office and say ‘Oh, wow! I didn’t know you were pregnant!’ That’s a very normal thing for people to say, so I don’t think the OP can necessarily avoid it. Which is why some sort of email might be a good idea, because then the OP can – as Alison says – let people know that they’d rather not make the pregnancy a big deal at work.

        Reply ↓
  4. IT Relationship Manager*

    See, you say that it will be obvious but people are more likely to never mention it or bring it up with you if you don’t acknowledge it.

    I had a coworker I wasn’t working directly with who had a baby last year and it wasn’t u til I got a baby shower invite at 8 months did I actually get confirmation that she was pregnant.

    I understand not wanting to talk about it, but I would acknowledge it with your team and the people nearby but don’t invite conversations about it if you don’t want it. You will have to formally acknowledge your pregnancy at some point when you discuss how your work will be co0vered during your leave, etc. But to be honest, the people you want to avoid talking about it with are the ones who are the most annoying or troublesome about it.

    Anyway, it would feel less weird as your coworker that when you started to show, you do say that indeed you are pregnant! It will avoid awkward whispering around you from others.

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  5. Apples and Oranges*

    There have been lots of people at my work who I found out we’re pregnant through word of mouth it when they started showing. I don’t think it’s weird at all but to formally announce it but just mention it when/if it makes sense

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  6. MSD*

    I worked at a company that rated 1 – 5 and required a bell curve for ratings One of my teams supported a legacy system and HR lowered everyone’s rating from the 3 (successful) that I gave them to a 2 (doesn’t meet). This obviously impacted their bonuses and raises. Years later I can still feel the justified anger from my folks coming at me when I gave them their reviews. Of course I couldn’t say HR gave them the 2 but in reality for them it didn’t matter who gave the 2.

    Reply ↓
    1. allathian*

      Why of course? I’m grateful that every time I’ve had a poorer rating than I merited, not because my org follows a bell curve (it doesn’t), but because there haven’t been any funds for any merit raises, I’ve been grateful to my managers who’ve frankly said that they’d love to give me a raise and think I deserve it, but that there’s no budget for it. I wasn’t happy, but I would’ve been even less happy if I’d been left with the idea that my manager thought I didn’t deserve a raise.

      First-level managers are too low in the org chart to carry that sort of crap for systemic injustices in the way the company works, IMO.

      Reply ↓
      1. KateM*

        Yea, why is employee thinking they are doing poor work better than them thinking HR sucks? Of course it matters who was the one to give them that 2!

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      2. Your Local Password Resetter*

        Agreed. If HR or a senior manager makes the decision and overrides you, then they bear the responsibility for that decision. Lying that you did it is just sacrificing yourself to shield them from the natural consequences of their decisions. Which is very much not part of your job.

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  7. nnn*

    Tangential to #4, I would love to hear from anyone with actual experience on graphic design whether you actually have to know a significant amount about football to design a football logo. Or would simply seeing other football logos and having a general sense of football aesthetics picked up from living in the world (or perhaps with some intensive research) do the job?

    This seems like the kind of situation where either a competent professional would know how to research as they go, or a competent professional would need a depth of subject matter knowledge I can’t fathom. But I can’t tell which one it is.

    Reply ↓
    1. RandomNameAllocated*

      I work in a design adjacent role and feel that an objective view from someone who is researching as they go is probably better rather than someone who is very invested in the subject – a sort of can’t see the wood for the trees thing

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    2. bamcheeks*

      I was thinking that too. I mean, I am sure that if it was a brand-refresh for a major corporate team, you’d have people involved who were specialists in sports branding because there would be specifics to sports branding that weren’t relevant to say, Unilever, or weren’t as important if it was a mid-league or amateur team. But even then, I’m sure it would be way more about “being an expert in sports branding” rather than “knows about / likes football”.

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    3. Angstrom*

      If there were time and resources to do the research, I’d agree that a competent professional should do a better job than an enthusiastic amatuer. If the situation were “Help! We need a concept for the 1:00 meeting today.”, someone with subject knowledge might be useful.

      Reply ↓
  8. A*

    I like the way that many European countries do non compete, which is to pay for ‘gardening leave’

    If my knowledge is really that important and you can’t let me start work for a competitor, you can pay me to stay home and do nothing for awhile! That tends to limit it to only really important employees and puts the burden on the employer. It works better in places with long notice periods where you new employer knows you’re not coming for 3 months and the only question is whether you’re still working for that time or your old company pays you to fart around at home instead

    Reply ↓
    1. Gardening leave*

      Gardening leave is meant to keep somebody out of the workplace during their notice period so that person doesn’t sabotage things and to prevent their further access to data and communication channels and software tools. Or, in case of a firing, the employer might offer a longer than standard notice period with gardening leave if the employee avoids legal actions.
      But gardening leave is not a form of non compete.

      Reply ↓
      1. allathian*

        That’s true. However, I’m in Finland and here the right to work is strong. If an employer wants to prevent an employee from working for a competitor, they’re legally required to pay the soon-to-be former employee for that time. So the employer has to decide if that employee is important enough to pay typically 3-6 months salary for nothing in return. This is meant to avoid “just because” non-competes and restrict them to people who are strategically important to the business.

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      2. Emmy Noether*

        I think it’s not usually called gardening leave, but in some countries non competes do work somewhat like A says. For example in Germany, you can put a non compete into the contract for up to 2 years, but then the employer has to pay at least 50% salary during that time (and that would be after the up-to-6-months notice period, which will most likely be worked, or sometimes taken as gardening leave). Needless to say, they are rare.

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    2. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

      FinalJob in Germany had gardening leave for anyone going to a competitor. HR claimed it was to prevent taking confidential data (easy to do before giving notice!) but it was really pro forma, more imo about hurt feelings and wasn’t about avoiding sabotage, which would be more a concern for someone fired (who’d get zero or minimal severance)
      Notice for salaried employees was at least 4 weeks, up to 3 months for senior managers, so it was a nice paid break between jobs.

      Many EU/EEA countries mandate compensation for the duration of the non-compete period.
      However, some may not require the full salary, so compensation is more of a topup to the salary of the interim work outside their field.
      Also, the non-compete may not be valid if there is an RIF or other non-regular ending of employment

      e.g. In Germany, the non-compete is only valid if compensation is at least 50% of salary, maximum duration of 2 years and the employer must have a clear business interest, not a whim. The job restrictions must be reasonable, not too wide and of course everything must be specified in a written agreement.

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    3. Retired Vulcan Raises 1 Grey Eyebrow*

      Non-competes are rare in practice here (DE) at least in most fields, but still imo a grossly inequitable and oppressive imposition that can slow career progression. Hence I feel that this should be compensated with e.g. 150% salary for the duration. If that’s too much, then don’t require a non-compete.

      Reply ↓
  9. Shipbuilding Techniques*

    Regarding Q2: My company also redid its rating system recently, adding an extra layer of obfuscatory numbers as well as new definitions of what the ratings mean. What’s amusing to me is that they are now trying to spin it that “today’s 3” is better than previous years’ “meets expectations 3s” and is in fact more like what prior year’s “above expectations 4s” were! And of course everyone is getting 3s because this firm is chockfull of superior people! Even a 2 is not that bad! And we have a few ACTUAL 4 AND 5 LEVEL PEOPLE SOMEWHERE! Buck up, everyone!

    Reply ↓
    1. Bird names*

      Hm, let me guess, the “today’s 3” somehow still don’t merit raises though?

      At this point I wonder if it wouldn’t make more sense and save time to simply skip ratings like that entirely and just give general feedback while making clear that nobody gets a raise this year. At least it’d be more honest…. and less insulting.

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  10. Mark*

    #3 Maybe it is a cultural thing but here in my European company I have never seen anyone announce their pregnancy by email. The norm is the first person you tell at work is your manager. After that you can inform whoever you like or don’t like but most people get word eventually. Sometimes at a team meeting you may hear that we are recruiting to fill Jane’s position as she will be going on maternity leave etc.

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    1. CityMouse*

      I’m in the US and covered for multiple maternity leaves (and taken my own) and never seen someone send an announcement email before birth. Birth announcements yes pregnancy, no.

      Having been a supervisor when I did send out “Can someone cover this project” emails, we actually very deliberately would NOT mention whose work it was and why due to US privacy laws.

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  11. Coffee Snob/Knob*

    Contributing to #2, my boss has this “Calibration Meeting” where he would forcefully downgrade the overall annual review results by at least 1 to 2 grades, based off a 5 point system similar to OP2. It’s not even a bell curve, it’s a deliberate reduction in the overall grade despite the sales team recording record profits for the company. This meant that a rockstar performer (nearly 20% of the entire company sales BY HIMSELF) got a 3 overall, which meant a 2.5% increment (cost of living + merit). He was so shell-shocked coming out of the review.

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  12. Nodramalama*

    LW3 won’t there eventually have to be some kind of an announcement or messaging about mat leave coverage?

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  13. Opaline*

    My old job had the amazing loophole that no-one could score above a 3 (meets expectations) because their expectations *were* that you’d go above and beyond, give 120%, do regular overtime, pick up extra duties not in your job description, etc.

    How did you score a 4? No one knew.

    The word was to get a 5 you basically had to do so well you got a spontaneous promotion. But of course, if you got promoted you’d be evaluated against your new role. Which you’re still learning and haven’t been in for a full year, so you can’t be meeting expectations yet…

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    1. CityMouse*

      I once had to explain to a trainee that rating someone anything other than a 3 during the training session was basically impossible because they hadn’t produced enough work product to be rated otherwise. Basically my training rating was just signing off that they’d completed it.

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    2. Upside down Question Mark*

      “do so well” meaning trade your personal life for work and break all boundaries of physical and mental health completely to get a 4 or 5.

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  14. Grey Coder*

    LW2: I went through this at ExJob as a team lead, which was the lowest level line manager. I had naively assigned ratings based on the standard meanings of the words (“meets expectations” “exceeds expectations”) and apparently the overall distribution was not to the liking of senior management.

    All the team leads were called into a room to argue it out so that the “correct” number of people would be given the higher ratings. The snag was that the teams were doing very different work and it was just not possible for me to (ethically) argue that my team member was better than someone in another team when I didn’t know what the other team did.

    I pushed back in the meeting — in retrospect I’m kind of surprised I wasn’t reprimanded or even fired, though I think I did limit my prospects there as a result. The senior manager’s favourites got the high rankings, others were pushed down to “meets expectations”, and I had some illusions about fairness shattered. At least they changed things the next year.

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  15. Turingtested*

    LW 1, as a hiring manager I would want to know about the allegations of grooming of minors and I would likely have a lot of questions you don’t have the answers to because you don’t have direct knowledge of the incident. I’d be very straightforward and say something like “I don’t mean this as gossip, and I don’t have many details but two people I trust said _____.”

    Given the lack of details and direct knowledge of the allegations of grooming, don’t be surprised if nothing immediately happens. But if your leadership is good they will watch him very carefully.

    Reply ↓

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