unemployed? get a spray tan!

by Alison Green on November 5, 2012

It was bad enough when the state of Florida was offering unemployed people capes to tell them that they’re “superheroes,” but now a local job training office in the U.K. is offering the unemployed free spray tans. Because that’s how you find a job.

Seriously, professional career advice industry, just give up and admit you don’t know what to tell people.

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      1. Kelly O*

        Anyone else thinking Alison could do one of those “if you are wise, you’ll listen to me” tie-ins?

        I mean, no dancing, naturally. We don’t want to upset the foot healing situation.

  3. jmkenrick*

    Any guesses on how many cast members of Jersey Shore are going to show up tomorrow, disguised as unemployed Brits?

  6. Hari*

    When my friend worked at Abercrombie way back in HS they told her she needed to get a spray tan or find another job lol. However it is Florida so on a certain level, this does not surprise me.

      1. Kelly O*

        Note to self: do not apply at Abercrombie. (Since crippling paleness is the only thing in my way. Not the too old, so sad, too fat thing.)

    2. Not So NewReader*

      Orange. Yeah, MUCH better. I really want to by products when all the sales people are sprayed orange.

        1. Anonymous*

          I have one right now actually – they exist… but you probably don’t notice them because they look natural. ;)

          that being said.. this is bizarre and totally useless.

          1. Amouse*

            ha! That probably is why. So it’s good to know it’s possible. I just wish so many didn’t look orange or I might even consider getting one.
            You’re right, getting a spray tan to increase your jobs odds makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

        2. KS*

          Now I’m picturing that scene in “Bride Wars” where Liv switches the sunkissed shade to burnt orange before emma gets her spray tan and Emma walks into her classroom and shouts “Yes! I know I’m orange”. :)

    3. AnotherAlison*

      That also happened on an episode of Good Luck, Charlie. (It’s a Disney Channel show. . .slightly less awful than most of the genre as a whole.)

      Up next for unemployment office offerings: cancer screenings (the jury is still out on the safety of spray tans, ya know)

    4. A Bug!*

      This doesn’t surprise me at all! There are a ton of stories about A&F’s highly questionable “look policy”.

      1. Kelly L.*

        And even their mannequins are unnatural-looking shades of tan. I nicknamed them the Tannequins.

    5. LL*

      Yep, I’ve had similar experience in the wonderful world of retail. Is it even legal to make comments or hiring/firing decisions based on an employee being too pale? Likewise, can an employer legally make an employee get a fake tan?

          2. Not So NewReader*

            Yeah, Mike, some of us Irish can be pretty fair skinned with little to no hope of ever “tanning”.

            1. Kelly O*

              Occasionally I start thinking maybe my freckles will run together… never happens.

              Although I’m not going to apply at Darque Tan any time soon either.

              And now I have that “No Irish Need Apply” thing stuck in my head.

        2. Tina*

          I thought anti-discrimination laws mentioned race AND color, and the two aren’t necessarily interchangeable. eeoc.gov says “color discrimination occurs when a person is discriminated against based on the lightness, darkness, or other color characteristic of the person.” I don’t understand why paleness wouldn’t be a protected class based on this…can anyone explain?

          1. Anonymous*

            ^^ This.

            I burn easily, and I don’t want to get cancer. I also don’t want to spend money on something that might end up making me look ridiculous. It is discriminatory. The company would be telling me my skin is the wrong color to work there. How could their policy hold up on court?

  7. Seal*

    Maybe they’re just short of traffic cones and think they’ll kill 2 birds with one stone (or spray, as the case may be).

  8. Anon in the UK*

    This is utterly bizarre and probably the brainchild of some deranged self-publicist.
    I can see the point of giving jobseekers a voucher towards a haircut, maybe. But a spray tan?

    1. twentymilehike*

      I can see the point of giving jobseekers a voucher towards a haircut, maybe. But a spray tan?

      That’s what I was thinking! I can just picture all these people going on interviews with tans and terrible hair cuts and dated outfits … like instead of job hunting, they’ve been laying on the beach whilst unemployed, neglecting their hair and nails.

      I suppose if there was an over abundance of more basic job-hunting necessities available, and the givers-of-unemployed-gifts were fresh out of ideas ….

    2. Bridgette*

      Yes, I’ve heard of providing clothes for interviews and sometimes haircuts or makeovers. I think the clothes are the most beneficial as nice suits are PRICEY.

      1. Elizabeth West*

        Oh totally. I had nothing good to wear to interviews. Kept haunting this local place that sells department store castoffs and finally scored three Chadwicks of Boston blazers for $12 each. But I still can’t afford a suit that fits me (I’m tall). At least the black blazer matches some pants I already have, so it’s kind of like a suit.

  9. jesicka309*

    Maybe it’s to trick employers into thinking that the applicants weren’t REALLY unemployed – they just went on a holiday for a few months! Hence the tan!

  10. Rob Bird*

    First….I lol’d

    Then….I serioused

    Considering the other needs that may need to be met for the long term unemployed (food, clothing, toiletries, a job, self worth and dignity), capes to battle Dr. Evil Unemployment and spray tans are probably not the things to be offering.

    Although, I hear Snookie needs a job, so the spray tan may be of value to someone…..

  11. Rachel*

    This article made me laugh. :D I tried spray tan for the first time this year on my ordinarily pale, Scottish skin. If anything, I felt very self-conscious at interview, and didn’t get any of the ones I went for whilst sporting the oompah loopah look! I’m back to my usual pale self now, and have been offered two roles this month. Take from that what you will!

    1. Another Emily*

      Maybe it just goes to show you should be yourself in interviews. You didn’t feel comfortable until you were back to your usual pale self. :)

  14. Ali_R*

    Maybe it is a new scarlet letter? The establishment’s way of identifying those that are job seekers?

    Talk about putting the kabash on a style! If the unemployed are all easily identified by their glowing orange colour, who would want to step up and join those ranks? I predict a sharp decline in spray tanning aside from the government investment.

    This will make pale skin popular as society will equate it with being amongst the employed! Maybe this is all a plot from the skin cancer prevention folks?

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