my older male manager sent me a middle-of-the-night Snapchat request by Alison Green on September 1, 2020 A reader writes: My new manager started during the pandemic. Our office is still working remote so I’ve only met him once and chatted on the phone/over email. He seems like a nice enough guy so far. However, last week I woke up to a Snapchat friend request from him (the request came in sometime […] Read the full article →
our new boss doesn’t know how awful her second-in-command is by Alison Green on August 18, 2020 A reader writes: I am an upper level manager in a mid-sized company with about 200 employees. This past year, the head of our company, Jim, who was problematic but visionary, decided to retire after decades in leadership. I used to report to Jim, but in the changeover it was decided that I would report […] Read the full article →
my boss brags about giving “clear, direct” feedback — but really is just mean by Alison Green on August 12, 2020 A reader writes: I love how often you mention direct, clear feedback! The best manager I ever had, who thankfully was also my first manager, was such a pro at giving clear feedback on the spot with the most polite and respectful tone. It made me want to perform better, and I became a flourishing, […] Read the full article →
how to disagree with your boss by Alison Green on August 12, 2020 When you disagree with your boss, it can be tricky to know whether you should speak up and how to speak up—and a lot of people early in their careers get this wrong. They assume they shouldn’t speak up at all (even when they have info their boss doesn’t have and might appreciate hearing!) or, […] Read the full article →
how much should I keep trying to coach my boss, who is drowning in his job? by Alison Green on August 12, 2020 A reader writes: My boss is like, so broken. This poor man. His own boss strong-armed him into taking a position he isn’t qualified for and can’t handle. He was comfortable and settled before a change in circumstances forced him to evolve and step up. He’s facing pressures the leadership chain above him doesn’t feel […] Read the full article →
can I flat-out refuse to do a project? by Alison Green on August 3, 2020 A reader writes: I’ve been away from office life for a while, so I’m not sure if this is a problem of me not understanding the hierarchy or what. Here’s the issue: I work in a field that is heavily deadline-based — think government contracting and you’ll be in the right ballpark. Once in a […] Read the full article →
my boss hired his girlfriend and we are imploding by Alison Green on August 3, 2020 A reader writes: I work at a dysfunctional workplace. I will call us a media development company. It’s a high-stakes time in our work and tempers are very short. My boss, Ron, hired his girlfriend, Zelda. By “hired,” I mean that she works for free in exchange for him supporting her with food, rent, and […] Read the full article →
should I tell future managers about my ADHD? by Alison Green on July 27, 2020 A reader writes: Growing up as a child, I constantly struggled to focus. In school I understood the work, but because I lacked focus and could not hold my attention in the classroom. Every parent-teacher meeting was the same: “Your son is so intelligent and can achieve so much, but he is so disruptive and […] Read the full article →
my manager makes us do mental-health surveys every day by Alison Green on July 22, 2020 A reader writes: Recently, my boss started attending personal therapy (she shared this information with me unprovoked) and shortly after starting her sessions she discovered Brene Brown. Her interest in Brene has moved from simply showing a video during a group meeting to having us all read through one of her books. My concern comes […] Read the full article →
should I tell my boss about my anxieties from past dysfunctional jobs? by Alison Green on July 20, 2020 A reader writes: I worked for a professional services firm for 10+ years, finally leaving a couple years ago. I’ll spare you the nuances, but there were relatively frequent terminations. For perspective, my department that generally had 5-8 people had 11 terminations in a 7-year span. For those of us who were generally well performing, […] Read the full article →