a medical issue means I have to keep saying no … but I don’t want to over-share by Alison Green on January 27, 2022 A reader writes: How do I quickly and dispassionately explain why I can’t participate in a work project (ever!) without putting the other person in uncomfortable position of having to express sorrow for me? I’m employed in a highly specialized, technical career where I interact with motivated, passionate people who have all kinds of projects […] Read the full article →
my coworker told me he’s hiding a terminal illness by Alison Green on January 24, 2022 A reader writes: I feel odd even writing this email. But I am at a loss for what to do with this information. I feel horrible talking to people about it, so I don’t but I HAVE to get this off my chest. About a month before I left my small team (of six) for […] Read the full article →
our new-grad employees see less glamorous work as beneath them by Alison Green on January 19, 2022 A reader writes: I am 26 years old. I have been in the working world for several years. Our office just hired a couple of new grads. I find some of the ways they talk about work tasks to be naïve to the point of being demeaning. One coworker, John, often talks about his internship […] Read the full article →
my coworkers told my boss I talk about my baby too much by Alison Green on January 19, 2022 A reader writes: I’m still processing the conversation I just had with my boss, so I’m sorry if this is a mess. I’m a new mom. My baby is going to be four months old later this week. I took 12 weeks off and returned to work a month ago. I manage a small team […] Read the full article →
how to respond to unclear “let me know when you have some time” requests by Alison Green on January 13, 2022 A reader writes: I’m in a sort-of HR role, where it’s normal for colleagues to need my guidance on certain things. Sometimes it’s a quick policy question, sometimes it’s much more in depth, and very often there are legal considerations that mean the question should actually be directed to our legal or payroll departments. Because […] Read the full article →
my coworker tried to film her pregnancy announcement and now there is chaos by Alison Green on January 13, 2022 It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: So this is an enragingly dumb breach of basic manners and I need to know I’m not crazy. I’m technically in an executive role but I don’t have authority over people, just finances, but I was told I should have “acted like a better manager” […] Read the full article →
my new coworker keeps staring at my breasts by Alison Green on January 12, 2022 A reader writes: I am an attractive, large, 50+ woman working in academia. I have large-ish breasts and wear a bra that makes them look appropriate — no hanging, jostling, or nipples. Even though I do hate these restrictive, thick bras. But I found that I had to sacrifice my comfort for peace of mind […] Read the full article →
my office Secret Santa gave me a gift from a pornstar by Alison Green on January 5, 2022 A reader writes: I’m a mid-level employee on a team of about 20 within a larger organization. I started in 2019, though we’ve all been remote since March 2020. We’ve had pretty little turnover since then, so apart from a few newer folks, I’ve met everyone on the team in person and have good rapport […] Read the full article →
I’ve accidentally convinced my coworkers that I’m homeless – but I’m not! by Alison Green on January 4, 2022 A reader writes: I started a new job five months ago, and I love it. The only problem is that I have a secret: I can’t drive. I’ve been sitting on a learner’s permit for years because I am absolutely TERRIFIED of driving. Because of this, I ride the bus to work. Most people in […] Read the full article →
I didn’t know my former coworker was so disliked and now I’m worried by Alison Green on November 24, 2021 A reader writes: I work for a fairly small department at a large organization. The person I worked with most often, “Chris,” recently took on a different position in another department. Unfortunately, I was a little skeptical of the move because I didn’t think Chris would like the position as much as he thought he […] Read the full article →