Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Am I allowed to drink my boss’s fancy water in the office kitchen?

My office supplies drinks for the employees, typically water, juice, coffee, tea, ect. These are purchased by the assistant once a month on her company card and stocked in the communal kitchen fridge. Recently, the head manager in the office decided he really liked this fancy water, $3/bottle water that has some additives to help him with a condition he’s dealing with. So in addition to the regular water being purchased, the assistant is also ordering this fancy water online and stocking it in the office fridge. Note that she is using her company card to buy this water, at the manager’s request. The request from the boss is not uncommon; the fridge has iced tea and vitamin water because different people requested it and the assistant opted to buy that too.

I prefer the regular water and drink a decent amount of it during the day. We ran out of the regular water recently but there is plenty of the fancy water in the fridge, so I started drinking that. Now I’m getting comments telling me I shouldn’t be drinking the boss’s water. My mentality is that is’t not the boss’s water because it was purchased with the company card. Just because it was purchased at the boss’s request does not mean the boss is the only one who can drink it. Yet for some reason “the boss’s water” is special? Who is correct here?

Who’s telling you not to drink it, your coworkers or the boss himself? If it’s coming from your boss himself, yeah, that’s obnoxious but ultimately his call to make — if he’s authorized to have the office buy him his own personal supply of drinking water, then it’s his prerogative, although he should realize that the optics on that kind of thing aren’t good. But if it’s your coworkers (which is what it sounds like), I’d assume that they’re just unnecessarily kowtowing to the boss and you can ignore them. To be safe, you could first ask, “Did Bob himself say not to drink it or are you just assuming we should leave it for him?” … but I suspect they’re just being overly deferential in a way that your boss didn’t request and wouldn’t want if he’s reasonable.

2. My boss doesn’t want me to wear jeans even though everyone else does

I’ve been at my job in marketing for almost a year. It’s a smallish media company with occasional but not frequent visitors, and customers basically never visit. When I interviewed, I noticed people wearing jeans when I came in on a Monday, Tuesday, etc. I dressed up anyway on my first day and then asked to make sure jeans were okay, and was told by my boss “only on Fridays.”

I still noticed jeans being worn by other departments on every day of the week. (My department is only me and my manager, and I’ve for the most part only seen her wear jean on Fridays.) I asked others if they had ever been told jeans only on Fridays, and they said no. I still avoided them, since I wasn’t sure. Then a few months later, our president sent out a memo outlining what we can and can’t wear, which said nice jeans without any rips, holes, etc. were fine.

So that’s basically what I’ve been following since, but then today my boss mentioned that while she’s “not going to police it,” she thinks wearing jeans could be holding me back and making me look less professional. I mentioned the email which said they were fine and she didn’t seem to remember ever hearing that. Is there a non-awkward/rude way I can forward her that email to remind her what were told? I do appreciate her honest feedback and of course I don’t want my clothes to hold me back, but others continue to wear jeans regularly and I guess I’m just a little hesitant to eliminate them without a concrete reason. I get the sense this is more about my boss’ personal preference, as she rarely wears jeans.

Well, what do you care about more — getting to wear jeans or having your manager see you as polished and professional? I get that it doesn’t seem fair, if the rest of the company is allowed to wear jeans. But your boss has told you clearly that she doesn’t want your department wearing them (except on Fridays). That’s her prerogative. You can try pushing back on it, but is it really the battle you want to fight, if it means that you win and get to wear jeans but she thinks it reflects poorly on you? (And to be clear, I’m not defending her stance here; I think it’s silly, unless you’re more public-facing than the rest of the company. But it’s her stance, and you can’t change that.)

That said, you could forward her the email from the president and say something like, “I don’t mean to belabor this; I just wanted to share with you where I’d gotten the understanding that nice jeans are okay. If you still want our department to be jeans-free aside from Friday, I’ll do that of course — just didn’t know if you’d seen this email from Millicent.”

3. My client always pay me late

I’m a freelancer doing work for a well-known corporation in my area. I started six months ago and am paid by the hour. I submit an invoice once a month to the department director.

The problem is, out of the six invoices I’ve sent, the director has forgotten to turn in half of them. The first time, she blamed it on getting “hundreds of emails a day” and told me it was my responsibility to make sure I got a confirmation reply from her. The second time, she didn’t say anything beyond “it’s in the mail.” (I discovered it was her mistake when the check came. A photocopied invoice with her handwriting showed she’d turned it in five weeks late.)

90% of my total monthly work is for this corporation, so these checks are my main income. The director’s inattention is affecting how and when I can pay my bills. I don’t want to stop working for this company but I want to come up with a better way to get paid – one that cuts her out as the middle man, if possible! Do you have anything I might suggest to her, or any other advice?

Try saying this: “Is there a better way for me to handle invoices? I know you’re busy, and I wonder if it would make sense for me to send them directly to someone in your accounting office?” (This may not work since she may have to approve them before they can be submitted, but it’s not unreasonable to ask.)

If that doesn’t work: “They’ve been late pretty often, and I do need to get paid on time. Is there something else I can do to make sure they get processed on time?”

And if that doesn’t work: “I need to get paid in a timely fashion. Right now that’s not happening, so we need to come up with a different system.”

You should also try including a due date on your invoices (if you’re not already) and you might consider charging a late fee too (put a notice of it on the initial invoice).

That said, some companies are notorious for doing this to freelancers.

4. Including “acting” in a title

I work for a small nonprofit. My program used to be made up of my boss (director) and me (program analyst). Last month, my boss left to take a different job and I was asked to take on all of his previous responsibilities in addition to my own for the rest of the year. The organization decided to appoint me “acting deputy director” while they try to figure out what they want to do with my program (absorb it into another program, hire someone to replace the old boss, etc.). That decision probably won’t be made for another six months or maybe even longer.

I am much younger than anyone else at the deputy director level at my organization, and I look even younger than I am, so the title boost is a big help in looking credible in front of external partners or clients. But I didn’t know what the norm was for “acting” positions — when I introduce myself to someone new, should I say I’m the “acting deputy director” or just the “deputy director”? What about in my email signature or LinkedIn profile? I don’t want to mislead anyone about my title, but I didn’t know whether it would sound odd to say “acting” in an introduction.

I’ve seen people do it both ways and think either is fine, but if you want to play it safe, include the “acting.”

One other way to do it is this:
Deputy director (acting)

5. When your job forgets to schedule you

A friend went to look at her schedule and realized she wasn’t scheduled to work. When she went into work, they said they forgot to put her on the schedule this week and that they can’t do anything about it, and if she wants hours she will have to ask around. They made notes that if anyone calls in sick to call her into work first. Is that acceptable ? If work forgets to schedule you, shouldn’t they have to fix it?

Legally, you mean? No, it’s up to them unless you have a written agreement to the contrary (which would be unusual). Ethically, they should fix it (she’s presumably counting on that money), although that can get complicated because it means taking hours from other people that were already promised to them. Really, they should just do the schedule correctly in the first place, but businesses with constantly-changing schedules are notorious for this kind of slip-up.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Employee frequently calls out sick on Mondays

I have an employee who I hired 6 months ago from another department (they have been at the organization a total of 5+ years). This person is an excellent worker – detail oriented, a problem solver, and a dedicated employee. They are always willing to take on a project and work stay after-hours whenever needed. However, they have a habit of calling in sick on Monday mornings.

I have a really lax leave policy. I have worked places where I felt bad needing to take a sick day, or avoided scheduling my vacation because I knew my boss didn’t like us taking it. I don’t want to be one of those bosses, so I am okay with people taking sick days or vacation days on short notice. However, this person consistently exhausts all their leave and always on Mondays. When they have 8 hours of sick leave saved up, I can be sure in the next week or two to receive a call on Monday morning that they are injured or sick.

It is now time to write this person’s 6-month review and I feel obligated to document this behavior. Not because I want it to stop, because like I said, I’m generally okay with people taking any sick or vacation leave they have accrued. If this person started calling in sick without time accrued, that would be a problem for me and I would be sure to sit the person down and let them know that behavior needs to change. But that is not the case here. I won’t be in this position forever, so I feel like I owe it to the next supervisor to have this behavior documented, at least in a neutral matter-of-factly way, in case it becomes a problem in the future. Like I said, this person really is a good worker. Should I even be including this behavior in a review if I personally don’t have a problem with it?

If you don’t have a problem with it, it shouldn’t be an issue you raise in a review. And if you don’t think the person is doing anything wrong, you don’t need to document it for the next manager. (Also, you should try to avoid raising things in a review that you haven’t already discussed with the employee and — ideally — given them a chance to correct.)

I’d want to know more about how the behaviors impacts work, if at all. Do coworkers get stuck covering for the person, or does it not impact others? Does the person use good judgment and only call out on days where it won’t be a big deal, or does it happen when important work is due or she’s supposed to be at a key meeting? And are you at all concerned that she continually zeros out her balance of sick leave and won’t have any when she has a more urgent need for it? (Of course, that assumes she’s just using it for kicks now. It’s entirely possible she has a legitimate recurring medical appointment that she happens to schedule for Mondays; who knows.)

If there’s really no impact to having lots of unscheduled absences, then carry on. (Although you might mention to her that while it’s fine with you because she’s an excellent worker, she shouldn’t assume it will be fine with other managers.) But if there is an impact, you probably should consider saying something to her about the pattern.

2. I took on a bunch of new work for a promotion that I didn’t get

A few months ago, a promotion opened up in my department under a different manager. I had all the qualifications and an interest so I applied. The hiring manager told me I was the only applicant and had no competition and began parading me around with her to meetings and introducing me as the person who had gotten the promotion. I was given access to her employees’ information, worked on a daily basis for her, and was given access to a lot of company information before I would normally be allowed (if at all) to access it in my current role. All of this was done after the interviews but before I had an offer, and I admit partial guilt in being so pleased to get out of my current role where I was bored to tears that I just went along with it. To boot, my current boss never once said a word about all the work I was doing for someone else and happily approved all exceptions if I needed my workload reduced to do it.

After about a month of this (yes our hiring process is that long), I was pulled aside and advised that someone externally had a few more years experience than me and was being given the promotion. The manager cut off all contact with me and does not appear to have addressed the issue with her employees, as I was approached by quite a few of them asking if I had suddenly quit and why.

Of course, I am disappointed as I interviewed my best and did all this work only to be passed up for someone who came in externally, but I am understanding of the process and admit I was never forced to do anything. But I feel like this manager’s boss should be aware that she not only is treating people like this but is giving them access to sensitive information. But I am sensitive to how it may look like retaliation if I start reporting her now. Do you think I should say something and do you have any suggestions for how to phrase it so I am clear I am okay with the job decision but just want the boss to know? Or am I better off keeping my head down and moving on?

Ugh, that was terribly handled. It would have been one thing to pull you into one or two meetings to give you a sense of the work you’d be doing in the new role and to give your prospective manager a chance to see you in action, but it sounds like she practically had you start work in the new position, just without making it official. And then, even worse, she rudely cut you loose without any explanation, when you were very much owed one.

That said, I don’t think you gain much by reporting it to her boss, and there’s a fairly high chance that it’ll end up reflecting on you (i.e.., you were fine with it when you thought it was to your benefit, but object now that it’s not). That’s not really an accurate take on it — you were led to believe you were getting the job, which is another problem — but there’s a decent chance it’ll come across that way.

If you have good rapport with your current manager, you could ask her about it — something like, “I feel a little uneasy about Jane having given me access to sensitive employee information and then ultimately going with another candidate, as well as about the fact that she hasn’t talked to me at all since deciding to hire someone else. Do you think it’s worth me trying to find a polite way to point that out, or should I just let it drop?”

But otherwise I’d just file this away as useful information about how that manager operates.

3. How many “finalists” do employers usually have for a job?

I know this will vary from employer to employer, but in general, how many candidates proceed to “finalist” status? I was recently told I was a finalist for a position, and I am still in the unfortunate, torturous position of waiting to hear a yay or nay after my last interview. So I guess my question is: would you say, on average, the finalist pool is comprised of 2 candidates, 3, 5? I am just curious what a person’s chances are once they enter the final round of interviews.

It depends on what the company means by “finalist.” Some people use that term to mean “we’ve done all our interviews and it’s come down to two candidates who we need to decide between.” Other people use it to mean “people who have made it through initial screening and are moving forward to in-person interviews.”

If you’ve already interviewed and are being told you’re a finalist, it’s most likely to be you and one, two, or three other people. And if they’re hiring for multiple slots, it could be more than that.

4. Wearing a seersucker suit to a job interview

It is now summer in Alabama and quite hot and the A/C in my car is not the best. Is it appropriate to wear a seersucker suit to a job interview? I have always thought of a seersucker suit as more of a casual suit and not appropriate for a job interview. What do you think?

Seersucker is too casual for a job interview. But I’d wear other light fabrics, and carry the jacket with you rather than wearing it (at least while you’re in your car).

5. Can I give a gift to the HR person who helped hire me?

I read your article about giving gifts at work. I just got a job and the HR person in charge of my hiring had been very nice to me right from my first interview. Can I give her a cinema gift card of about $50 so she can do a movie with her family sometime this summer? Is that a good deal or any other options or recommendation?

Noooo, do not do this. It will make her uncomfortable, and is too close to appearing to give her a gift for hiring you (when in fact she was just doing her job and helping to hire the best candidate). You can certainly send her a note thanking her for her help during the hiring process, but that’s it — no gifts.