Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should I tell my boss I’m leaving because of his remarks about my race?

I’ve been at a startup (no HR department) for under a year in a senior admin role and while I love the company’s mission, the CEO/founder seems to have a thing about my race. He’s white, I’m black. Sometime around the 2-month mark, I noticed that a week wouldn’t go by when he wouldn’t reference my race or point out that I’m black. Sometimes it’s complimentary. “Oh black women have SUCH nice skin” to “Can you explain how black women raise their daughters differently?” A few weeks ago, I was asked a VERY personal question relating to my race in front of a group of people who were there for a meeting. I’d stammered out an awkward “I’m too busy to answer that,” but inwardly I cringed and after work I cried.

I don’t want to appear like a job hopper, but my boss’ treatment of me as some kind of black curio has destroyed our professional relationship and has made me feel alienated in the office. Based on some things he’s said to potential clients, I often wonder if I was hired simply because it “looks good” to have a black woman in the office.

After speaking with friends and family, I’ve decided to leave, which will come as a surprise to my boss as I’m always diplomatic and hardworking during business hours. Would it be in poor taste to tell him why I’m quitting or should I just cut and run without ever letting him know how deeply alienated he’s made feel?

It’s not your job to educate him, but if you want to, you should absolutely feel free to explain to him why you’re leaving and why his remarks have been offensive and alienating; you’d be doing a service to future people who come in contact with him and to the world at large. It’s a beyond reasonable thing to share, and there’s a decent chance that he’d be grateful to know, even if he felt embarrassed/mortified/defensive. There’s certainly nothing unprofessional or inappropriate about explaining this; to the contrary, he is the one who has been inappropriate — don’t let that feeling get pushed on to you.

But crucially, I also think you’re under no obligation to take on that task if you’d rather not, or if you’re concerned it will change the tenor of the reference he gives you, or that it will come at any other price you’d rather not pay. You don’t have to take this on as your burden if you’d rather not.

One other option: If you wanted to, you could say something to the board of directors (instead of him, or in addition to him). They might be very interested in knowing their CEO is this big of an ass.

2. My office won’t let me wear shorts while I recover from a broken foot

Two weeks ago now, I broke my foot. Between the crutches and the walking boot I need to wear, I have been having difficulty finding work-appropriate clothing in my closet. I work in a fairly nice office in NYC, but the dress code is not at all clear. On any given day half the men are wearing suits, while the other half are wearing jeans, for example. I wound up resorting to wearing nice (think J Crew, Polo) shorts with button-down shirts for the first week and a half with a few pairs of nice jeans that I can actually roll up to my knee on the right side. I’m wary of skirts and dresses as I find I need pockets and the ability to move my legs freely, and with all the hopping around I don’t want to be flashing anybody.

Yesterday, the elderly woman who is the default HR department told me in no uncertain terms that I could not wear shorts in the office and advised me to buy loose cotton pants (!!!!!!) when I expressed how difficult it has been to find any other option. She also told me that the issue of my wearing shorts was “brought to her attention,” I guess to underline the gravity (??) of my indiscretion, as well as to avoid any personal responsibility on her part.

It is impossible for me to shop anywhere but online (which would mean any clothes I buy would take several days to arrive) and moreso I refuse to spend money on clothes that I hate/would only wear during this period, as they do not pay me nearly enough for frivolous shopping excursions. But at the same time, I don’t want to defy an outright order from the woman who is the co-owner’s sister (ha — did I mention that this is a small, privately owned office where the rules are made up and the laws don’t matter?).

Do you think I have any ability to open a dialogue here? And if so, can you help me with how to do so in a professional manner? What I really want to do is wear what I’ve been wearing and tell this woman to suck it, but I’m trying not to let my frustration and anger dictate my response.

I say this as someone who broke my foot a couple of years ago, but I … don’t think the no-shorts edict is so outrageous. I agree that it’s reasonable to expect your office to relax their dress code for you when you have a bulky cast or walking boot, but shorts really are wildly inappropriate in many/most offices — even in this circumstance. Loose cotton pants don’t seem like a crazy way to go to me.

I don’t want to tell you to spend money if you genuinely don’t feel like you can, but if you’re wearing J Crew and Polo, I wonder if you could just order a couple of pairs from Old Navy or somewhere on the more affordable side? Or, if you really don’t want to or can’t spend the money, just stick to the jeans, which it sounds like you were wearing earlier.

3. Company is offering us the chance to become contractors

My company is offering the “opportunity” to many of its employees (all of whom are at-will, long-term, salaried employees) to transition into becoming independent contractors.

What are the positives and negatives here?

The way the company presents it, the upside to becoming an independent contractor is that you will have “more freedom” to come and go as you please, live out of state, etc. The downside is decreased pay, lack of benefits, higher taxes, paying quarterly estimated taxes, etc. I know that this benefits the company in that it would decrease its monthly costs (benefits, payroll taxes, etc.).

If you choose to become a contractor, they should be raising your rate of pay. Otherwise, it’s a bad deal — as you point out, you won’t be getting benefits (paid time off, health insurance, etc.) and you’ll be responsible for your own payroll taxes. Plus, if you lose the work, you won’t be eligible for unemployment benefits the way employees are. You also won’t have the same job protections you have now; despite at-will employment, most employers still commit themselves to following certain steps before firing an employee (such as warnings), but that’s not the case with contractors, who are more easily cut loose.

Contractors typically get paid more than employees doing the same work for these reasons. You wrote “decreased pay,” so that’s pretty alarming.

You’d also want to find out what else will change if you made the switch. Legally, they’re not allowed to treat contractors the same way they can treat employees (more here). Do they intend to comply with those laws? You’d want to be sure you understand how your job and your relationship with your company change.

But there are benefits too. If they’re really going to give you the kind of freedom appropriate for contractors, that can be a huge perk. How to weigh all these factors is really up to you and depends on how you feel about each of these elements. Just make sure you’re not losing significant money on the deal.

4. Former coworker is constantly reading my LinkedIn profile

I left my old job going on 2 years now. I didn’t leave on good terms with my manager. A few weeks after I left, I updated my LinkedIn with my new job. An old coworker of mine (she was on a previous team, not the team I had left) who is known to be a gossip and brown-noser checked my LinkedIn 6 times within a span of 2 days. I kept seeing her name pop up in my feed as having viewed my profile. I have no idea what she could be looking for. I found this to be rather creepy and just weird. I was annoyed because I know the type of person she is, but I didn’t do nor did I say anything.

Recently, she popped up in my feed again as having viewed my profile. I became really annoyed, and I decided to block her and I did. My question to you is, aside from blocking her from viewing my page and having any contact with me, would you have sent her a note asking what she wanted? How would you have handled this?

Ignore it. Assume she’s being a busy-body and let her read to her heart’s content. It’s weird, yes, but it ultimately doesn’t really matter.

5. Do I need a professional bio?

I am very interested in a position with a great community organization in my area. As part of their application materials, they ask for a resume and cover letter (no surprise there) but, in addition, a separate bio. Is this a common practice and should I have already created a “master biography” to tailor to employers? Also, how in the world does one record their life story in a professionally appropriate, “I have the skill set for this job” type of manner?

No, that’s weird. I mean, yes, go ahead and create one if you want to apply for this particular job, but it’s definitely not something you generally need on hand or something that you should ever be sending out unsolicited. I occasionally have candidates send a bio along with — or worse, in place of — their resume, and it comes across as weird and kind of out of touch.

As for how to write one, I’d imagine that you’re writing a bio for yourself for a conference program or something like that, where bios are more typical. It’s basically a narrative of your career highlights, in third-person format.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I accepted a raise and promised to stay for a year, but now I want to leave

Back in January, my boss somehow found out I was looking for another job and sat me down. He wanted to know the salary they’d have to pay me so I would promise to stay for another year and stop looking. I gave them a number, which they countered with a lower number, but I still stayed and promised I would stay for another year. (I never signed anything; I just gave my word.)

It’s now June and I’ve got a potentially great opportunity, but I feel guilty leaving. The job is good, but I definitely don’t get paid enough for all the stress and the commute is hell. I feel stuck because if I leave I know they’ll have a really hard time replacing me.

Ugh. Did you continue to look after making that agreement, or did this fall in your lap? It’s going to be a tough conversation either way, but if you made that agreement in bad faith, it’s obviously worse.

I do think you should weigh heavily whether you want to break your word. But if it’s really right opportunity for you, it may be worth doing. You’d just want to be aware that you’re going to be doing some pretty serious damage to your relationship with your current employer. You made a deal with them that you’re now breaking; they paid you for something that you’re now not giving them (a year’s commitment). That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do the right thing for yourself — but you’d want to really, really have your eyes open about how it’s likely to come across.

2. Would working at a for-profit university hurt my future job search?

I have a question about university jobs. I’m currently in the running for a position at a for-profit university, the kind you see in TV commercials. I wouldn’t be an admissions counselor – the position deals with the actual education side (but not teaching). I feel it would be a good foot in the door, as my eventual goal is to get a job doing something similar at a nonprofit school. Would having a for-profit on my resume hurt my chances, or does the experience matter more?

Depending on the type of work you do, there’s a good chance that it would hurt you if you want to move into similar work a nonprofit school. I urge you to read the comments on this post, which include a lot of people in academia talking about how they perceive applicants with for-profit-school experience on their resumes — but more importantly, to talk to others in your field and find out for sure how it would be perceived in your particular line of work, since ultimately it will at least partially depend on that.

3. I’m stuck using my own personal computer at my new job

I just started a job two months ago, and all’s well for the most part. It’s a lovely office and I like the people there and it also pays fairly well. The problem is that I’m W-2 and when I got to work the first day, there wasn’t a computer at my desk. I’m sure it was my first instinct to want to perform well and do a great job so I brought my laptop but a computer has still not been purchased for my workstation. A few weeks ago, my new boss asked how I thought things were working out and I said I thought things were going really well; I asked him the same question and he said he was very happy with my work. So I decided to send him an email two days ago and ask if at some point we could discuss getting a computer for my work station. No response yet.

He runs a small business and I’m only a part-time employee and I know his budget is tight, but I’ve never been in this situation before, nor have I heard of anything like this before. He’s also never had an assistant on the books. His last assistant was a real estate agent and contracted and worked for a percentage of sales. Of course I need the work, but I really need my personal computer to stay at home, for personal use only, plus it’s just inconvenient to be schlepping it to the office and back everyday.

What is the IRS rule/law? As a W-2, doesn’t my employer need to provide the tools for me to perform my work?

The IRS rule on contractors versus employees doesn’t require the employer to provide your work tools. Basically, that rule lets employers structure their relationships with employees however they want (more or less); it’s really about ensuring that they don’t treat people as contractors (by not paying payroll taxes) when they shouldn’t be.

No federal law requires employers to cover employees’ business expenses (although California does), and some employers really do have people use their own devices, weird as that is. But it’s entirely reasonable for you to say to your boss: “After Wednesday, I need to keep my computer at home, so I need to order a computer to use here. Is there a price range you’d like me to stay within, or is there another plan already in motion for handling this?” (If it makes you more comfortable, feel free to say that you can’t keep bringing your computer because another member of your household needs it, or that you’re giving it to someone else and not replacing it, or whatever will give you mental permission to refuse to continue doing this.)

4. Can my resume be a page and a third?

Would a resume be alright to have a page and a third of another page? My current job (and management) keeps expanding the roles given to my team mates and I, so there’s constantly shifting responsibilities and our roles seems to be above the titles we’re listed as. Should I still try to keep my job description with 3-4 lines even thought we’re assigned various responsibilities? Or is there someway to say those responsibilities in less that the 12 lines I typed it?

Well, there are two separate issues here: The one about resume length, and the one about how you’re describing your current job.

On resume length: Having only a small amount of text on the second page doesn’t look great; it usually looks like you should have done a better editing job. Go to a full half page on that second page, or keep it to one page.

On describing your current job: I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea of 3-4 lines. It’s fine to have bullet point describing your accomplishments that take up more room than that. 12 lines is a lot, but it’s not inconceivable if it’s truly a job where your accomplishments warrant using that much space. If you’re just doing to have a comprehensive listing of duties, then no. Your resume should focus on accomplishments over duties anyway, and it doesn’t need to be comprehensive. The litmus test is “is this line strengthening my candidacy?”

5. Where’s the paperwork a hiring manager was supposed to send me?

I interviewed for a job a couple days before I went out of town. As soon as I got into town, they asked for a drug test to be done. It took over a week for them to contact me after the drug test (which was all clear). Yesterday, the manager told me that she’d be emailing me the paperwork later that day so I can get started as soon as possible. Well, she never emailed me. How do ask about it without sounding desperate?

“Hi Jane, I just wanted to check in with you about the paperwork for the X role. I haven’t received it yet and wanted to make sure I haven’t missed an email from you. I’m excited to move forward!”

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager clipped his fingernails during a job interview

Yesterday, my manager and I were conducting interviews in his office. During the first interview, he was clearly restless, and about midway through he ruffled through his desk drawer for something. I didn’t see what he grabbed, but quickly figured it out when I heard the unmistakable sound of a fingernail clipper. He hid his hands while he was doing it, and stopped after clipping two nails, but I’m still at a loss for why he decided mid-interview was the appropriate time to do such a thing. Other than doing a double-take when I realized what was happening, I didn’t do or say anything. We’re conducting more interviews next week– should say something ahead of time to indicate this is clearly not okay? I felt horrified for the person interviewing!

It depends on what kind of relationship with you have with him. With most managers I’ve had, it would feel pretty natural to just say, “You weren’t clipping your nails during that interview, were you?” But if you didn’t say it right off the bat, it’s going to be harder to say it now — and I also suspect that if you did have that kind of dynamic that allowed for that, you would have already said it and wouldn’t be writing in to me.

Another way to look at it is that it’s good to let your manager be as much himself as possible during an interview, so that candidates get truth in advertising and are making fully informed decisions. Some people wouldn’t care at all if their interviewer did this; others would find it boorish and rude. You want people to self-select out if they’re not going to work well with your boss anyway — so if this is at all representative of his style, it could be a good thing to just let him go for it.

2. Can I ask for a cost-of-living raise when I’m moving to a more expensive city for personal reasons?

I am looking to relocate to a different city for personal reasons – honestly, because I am a young professional who has never lived outside of my current city today and figure now is the best time in my life to do so. My job can be done remotely, and most of my team is remote, so I don’t have any hesitation about not being able to bring my job with me.

The city I am looking to move to has a much more expensive cost of living than where I am currently. What is your advice in terms of requesting a cost of living increase? Since this is a personal decision and not a relocation move for my job, is it fair and/or okay for me to request a salary increase?

Nope. You’d be asking your company to increase their expenses because of where you want to live. If you move for work-related reasons, it’s reasonable to talk about a cost-of-living increase. But if you’re just moving because you want to, you can’t really say “and it’s going to cost you more every month!” (Just like you probably wouldn’t want your company to ask you to take a pay cut if you moved somewhere cheaper.) I’d look at it this way: The ability to move wherever you want is a perk of this job, but you need to factor in how well your current salary will work in whatever city you’re thinking of choosing.

3. Do-not-hire lists

Is there a legal way to put an applicant on a block list due to them coming late to a previous interview with no reasonable explanation, being very rude, not showing up at all, or not showing up because they believed the interview was for the following day, even though they received a confirmation email with the specific date and time?

You mean an internal block list, where your company has a way of tracking that this isn’t someone eligible for hire in the future (as opposed to trying to block them from work with other companies too)? Sure, having an internal do-not-hire list is legal and very normal; companies do it all the time. You’re allowed to look at someone’s behavior and decide you don’t want to hire them, now or in the future.

4. How to ask an internal hiring manager if she’d consider me for a new role in her department

I’m currently an admin assistant and work at one of our regional offices. I interviewed for an internal position in Finance a month or so ago and was unsuccessful due to lack of finance experience. I received feedback from the interview that I “couldn’t be faulted” but they went for someone with more experience.

Fast forward a month or so, and another entry-level position position has arose in Finance. I’m still interested in working in that department but don’t know how to circumnavigate this. A coworker I confided in recommends that once the job becomes common knowledge, to phone the hiring manager and ask if they feel I should reapply, although they said that they might not be able to give a clear answer but may have some comments on whether I should. I would prefer to do this via email myself but don’t know which method is best or what exactly to say- how do you feel I should approach this?

Yeah, I’d use email to at least initiate the conversation — because that will give the hiring manager some time to compose her thoughts and figure out how to respond, whereas if you call her, you’re going to put her on the spot and you’re much more likely to get a “sure, go ahead and apply” answer (even if she doesn’t think you’d be the right candidate) because she wants to be nice and she feels blindsided, whereas if you give her time to think about it, you might get a more nuanced answer.

I’d say this: “I really appreciated your talking with me last month about the X position. Our conversation made me all the more interested in working in Finance. I noticed that you’re currently hiring for Y and I’d love to throw my hat in the ring. Before I do, I thought I’d check with you first to see if you think it might be a good fit. I’d love your thoughts (and won’t be at all offended if you don’t think it’s quite the right match). And of course, I’d be glad to talk in person if that’s easier — I just didn’t want to blindside you with the question if I called you or popped into your office without warning!” (That last part is there so that you’re not signaling “I’m someone who uses email for even sensitive conversations” but rather “I am thoughtful and willing to talk in whatever way is easiest for you.”)

5. Employer says they were trying to contact me, but I haven’t seen anything from them

I received an email from an employer who I submitted a resume to a few weeks ago. The email read that they attempted to contact me a few times and since I had not responded, they were assuming that I was not interested. This was the first time I have heard from this employer. I checked everything on my email and phone from the last month and saw nothing from them. I replied to the email saying that I am indeed interested. Also I called and left a message because no one answered. I have still not heard from them and am confused about when and how they tried to contact me. Is it possible that they are being dishonest? Should I call again or wait to hear from them?

It’s very unlikely that they’re being dishonest; they don’t have any motive to be. If they want to reject you, they can just reject you; they wouldn’t need to come up with a cover story about why.

It’s more likely that they did indeed try to reach you and were using the wrong contact info for some reason, their messages went to spam (have you checked there? does your spam auto-delete messages periodically?), or who knows what else.

I’d check that everything is working as it should, start checking your spam folder regularly if you’re not already (at least while you’re job searching), and if possible provide them with a different means to contact you by (like a different email address from a different provider). Beyond that, though, there’s not really anything you can do; sometimes this kind of thing happens.