Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should I let a rejected candidate know that her references aren’t great?

We’re in the process of hiring summer interns for my project, and we’re at a loss over how to handle a request for feedback from an applicant we rejected. The person we rejected is about to graduate from college and one the references (an advisor on the student’s thesis) told us flat out we shouldn’t hire the candidate (and gave enough critical details that we thought this reference wasn’t just someone with a personal grudge against the applicant but had legitimate, specific criticisms). The second reference was much more glowing, but when pressed, admitted the candidate was a good person but “not a shining star.” That’s enough red flags for us so we rejected the candidate. Unsurprisingly, this candidate immediately requested feedback and was very disappointed in the outcome.

I know we’re not obligated to give a rejected candidate feedback, but part of me really wants to give this person the heads up a reference is so completely negative, especially since this is a young college student with limited experience. But the employer side of me is really grateful this reference helped us dodge a problem candidate. How would you handle this?

No, don’t do it! You’d be abusing the confidentiality of the reference process. Those references assumed they were talking to you in confidence and gave you their candid assessments in good faith, figuring that it would be helpful to you. It’s really up to them to decide whether to talk to the candidate about what kind of a reference they’re able to give; it’s not your place to “out” them. And after all, you want references to be candid with you, even when it doesn’t reflect well on the candidate. If people have to worry that their comments won’t be handled confidentially, you’re far less likely to get useful references in the future.

2. Bringing a portfolio to a dinner interview

Whenever I go to interviews, I bring along a leather portfolio with clean resumes and references in case I am asked for them on the spot. I am going on a second interview tomorrow evening at a restaurant of the employer’s choice. Given that space could be tight at the table and I don’t want to bring a bag of any kind, is it safe to leave the portfolio behind?

A portfolio might be tough to have with you (it would be hard to put it on the floor but not something you’ll want on the table), but I’d bring a bag or briefcase with you. You may not end up needing a copy of your resume or something to take notes with, but it’s more important that you have both of those things in case you do need them than it is to cater to tight spaces. And it’s unlikely that you wouldn’t be able to tuck a small briefcase or similar bag beneath your chair if there’s no other room for it.

3. I don’t want to give out my name when I answer the phone

For the first time in my 17-year career with the county, I am being asked to give out my name when I answer the phone. I really, really hate it – to me, it feels like an invasion of privacy. I’m not management, I’m not a department head. It really is irritating when people use my name back. I don’t know them, I don’t want them coming in asking for me – I’m the receptionist, for heaven’s sake. Can they make me give my name out?

Yes. It’s a pretty common way for businesses to like their phones answered. I don’t particularly understand why, but it’s their prerogative, and it’s going to seem like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill if you make a big deal about it.

If people come in asking for you, well, you’re the receptionist so you’re probably going to be the first person they talk to anyway, right?

4. Should I confront an employer who interviewed me even though they’d already hired someone else?

I just interviewed yesterday for a position, they seemed interested, and they said they also have a few more people to interview in the upcoming week. But when I got home, a colleague had told some friends that they got the job I just interviewed for earlier that morning. ​​

Is it unprofessional to confront them about that, or should I just wait it out until they let me know in a week like they said, even if I know it’s filled? I’m angry that professionals do that to anyone, it just doesn’t seem right.

Confront them? No, you shouldn’t confront them; that sounds awfully adversarial and isn’t warranted. It’s possible that they’re hiring for more than one slot for the job you spoke with them about. It’s possible that your friend’s friend didn’t accept the offer until after your interview. It’s possible that it was already a done deal, but they wanted to talk to you anyway because they know they have a similar slot opening up soon. Confronting them would be a good way to torpedo your chances of being hired by them in the future.

5. Required to donate time or money to a nonprofit

As part of our goals for our yearly raise, my employer is making us either donate our time or donate money to a nonprofit in the amount of at least $120. If we don’t do this, our raise will be impacted by not meeting our goals. Is this legal?

It is. They’re basically saying that some sort of community involvement is a requirement of the job. You can debate the wisdom of that, but it’s their prerogative.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Office tenant keeps stealing our supplies

I am an administrative assistant for a local development group in my community. In addition to helping with economic development, we also own and operate a small business hub in which we rent out office space to various small businesses and provide them with secretarial assistance and whatnot. We recently had an attorney move into our building and he is driving me crazy. We have a public copy room with a copy machine, computer, hole punch, etc. We provide all the supplies for the copy room. He steals them constantly. In addition to that, I have also found several items missing from my desk, both from on top of my desk and in my desk.

He has returned a few things to me here and there, but definitely not all. The reason I know it’s him—I have a master key and one day had to let a delivery person into his office to deliver a package. While in there, I saw several items that belong to us. He has also taken off with ALL of our coffee cups that we have in the “break room” area. There are several other things that are really starting to get on my nerves, but that is a different question for a different day. How do I ask for these items back in a professional manner? I’m at a loss.

Be direct: “Bob, I let a delivery person into your office the other day and saw that you had several items that have been missing from my desk, like my stapler and coffee mug, as well as the hole punch from the copy room. Can you please return those today? We do provide supplies in the copy room, but they’re for many people’s use and need to remain there.”

If it happens again after that, get more direct: “Bob, like I mentioned before, I need you not to remove items from my desk or the copy room. Your rent covers your office space and access to the copy room, but you’re expected to provide supplies for your own office yourself.”

2. My professor turned down my request to be a reference

How do I respond to a rejection email from a potential reference? 

I am a graduate student and requested a reference from a professor I know well. I was shocked when she responded, “You can use me as a reference, but I would have to be honest… if they ask me about your timeliness or reliability for example, I cannot say that it is excellent. That would be quite bad for you so I’m not sure if I’m the right person to be your best reference. I hope you understand.”

I disagree with her appraisal that I am not reliable, and am wondering why she feels this way. I was late with an assignment, and to her class in the beginning of the semester, but was consistently early after we spoke about it. How do I respond?

Thank her for her candor and then let it go. Don’t push for her to change her assessment, because you don’t want to use a reference who’s anything other than glowing about you.

For what it’s worth, her response doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. Yes, you changed your behavior once she spoke to you about it, but the fact remains that she needed to tell you that your lateness was a problem before you fixed it. In a lot of contexts, that’ll put you in the “not super impressive” category.

3. Can I include internship experience when counting my years of experience?

When looking at job postings that require X amount of years of experience, is it acceptable to include internship experience in your computation of years experience?

Maybe. It depends on how substantive the internship was and how close to full-time it was. 10 hours a week counts for less than full-time work, obviously.

But in general, there’s no rule against counting internship experience.

The bigger thing to understand, though, is that this is all a judgment call. When employers ask for X years of experience, it’s rarely about applying a precise formula where you can or can’t count Y or Z. People get interviewed and hired all the time without having quite as much experience as a job ad asked for. Those years of experience requirements are really just to give you a general idea of the experience level they’re seeking.

4. Do honor societies matter on your resume?

Do honor societies matter? I just got an email from my graduate program saying that they have recommended me for my profession’s honor society. They said that they can only recommend 25% of all students who graduate in a year, and that they can only recommend students with a GPA of 3.75 or higher. I graduate this Saturday, and there are no formal or informal meetings with other honor society members. This clearly isn’t meant to be a networking tool–I think. They’re asking me for $85 for the right to put this honor society’s name on my resume. To be clear, this isn’t an honor society at my university. It is something along the lines of “The International Honor Society for Teapot Makers and Teapot Scientists,” and has a fancy three-letter greek name.

I’ve never heard of this honor society, and I’ve never heard it talked about within the profession. Should I save my $85, or join this honor society?

Save your $85. There are a bunch of these organizations out there making money from people in exactly this way. If you want to be extra sure, ask around in your field to make sure that it’s not actually some prestigious thing that would serve you well, but it sounds an awful lot like all the pitches that you’re about to get to be listed in the “Who’s Who of (your field),” which you should also ignore.

Employers care about honor societies like Phi Beta Kappa, in that it indicates that you were a top student. But most others? Not too much.

5. I saw my temp job posted as a permanent role

I recently accepted a job at a company with the understanding that the position is temporary until September when they can decide whether or not they’ll have enough work to keep me onboard. Just today, an acquaintance asked about possibly being referred for a position at my company that they saw listed on Craigslist. When I looked it up, it’s for my same position, is set to start in June, and doesn’t mentioned anything about being temporary. Is it fair for me to ask the hiring manager about this and request that I be moved to a permanent role if they feel there is enough work to hire on another new person? I’ve been there about a month and things seem to be going well, but I’m slightly concerned that they would post another listing for this job without speaking to me about becoming permanent.

Sure, absolutely. I’d say this: “I noticed that a position similar to mine was recently posted, but for a non-temporary role. I know you’d been thinking that you might not know until the fall whether my position could go permanent, so I was wondering if this indicated that has changed.”

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My employer is trying to guilt me into volunteering extra hours for free

I graduated last May and am working my first job in my field as a social media person for a nonprofit. I am paid hourly as a non-exempt, part-time employee. No benefits and low hourly wage as funds are tight, but between a second part-time job and some help from my parents in rent subsidy and their health care, I’m doing all right.

I love my job and am getting great experience and meeting so many people, but my boss and her boss are getting irritated with me. They sat me down in my first review and challenged my dedication to the cause. They said people who are successful put in MINIMUM 30-plus hours per week. They also respond 24-7 to calls and emails so that their colleagues can proceed and the mission moves forward. (To be clear, they would not be paying me for any hours over 20 a week).

I said I was trying to keep up, but that this is a 20-hour per week job and I just can’t survive because I need the second job to live, so I need more hours paid from this one if I’m going to drop the other one. (My other boss gets mad when he catches me doing this work during slow times at that job.) I thought that would help, but they said I have to suck it up these years if I want to make it. They then told me that others in my position have gone to food banks or dinners for the poor so they could cut down on their food bills. By living as our clients do, they don’t put themselves in the position of getting a second job that stops them from putting in the time you need to succeed. They also asked how I could show such selfishness when a dollar to me is necessarily taken away from those we serve. I assured them I didn’t mean to be selfish. They said they understood but that others might take it the wrong way.

They each said before they met their eventual partners they put in their dues. One’s is a partner in a law firm and the other owns a couple of very successful restaurants and nightclubs, by the way.

I understand hard work, and it’s nothing my friends who just started in law firms or in teaching aren’t doing. But they’re in salaried positions and get benefits. I can’t even get official hours added to my pay because fundraising is flat, and higher overhead will hurt our Charity Navigator score. Can you help me think through some solutions, or at least figure how long I need to live like this? 

You don’t want to work for this organization. They’re badgering you to do something unreasonable and illegal. Employees can’t “volunteer” their hours for free to their employer, even at nonprofits. Plus, suggesting that you rely on food banks to get by? Calling you selfish for wanting to make a living wage? That’s an outrage. This is not normal at a nonprofit; this is something really messed up about this particular organization and the people running it.

Get out get out get out.

2. Recruiter wants to prep my references

The recruiter I’m working with for a position requested that they speak to all of my references to “prep” them before handing over my list of references to the employer for them to call. Is this normal?

As some background, the recruiter has scheduled a “prep” meeting with me before every step of the interview process. So, I had a 1-hour prep meeting before my 1-hour phone interview with the hiring manager, then another 30-minute prep meeting before a 40-minute phone interview with the VP. Even though I think the prep meetings are overkill and I feel like I’m being treated little bit like a child by the recruiter, I’m willing to put up with it since I think the role is a great fit for me, is a nice pay bump, and has a distinct advancement path.

But I think it’s asking a lot of my references to have them be coached/prepped by a recruiter first. If this is not a normal thing, how do I politely tell the recruiter this without ruining my chances at the position?

No, it’s not normal. I’d say this: “My references are busy and I’m not comfortable asking them to take the additional time for a prep call. These are people who I need to be able to call on in the future too, and I don’t want to use up too much of their time now. I know they’re happy to be references for me, but I don’t think they’d be thrilled to be asked to spend time prepping for it. And really, I feel like the employer and I are best served by them being candid with reference checkers.”

Frankly, there’s such a thing as too much prep for you too — you want to get a job where you’re a natural fit, after all, so that the chances of you excelling in it and being happy there are high. That recruiter isn’t going to be prepping you once you’re on the job, so both you and the employer are far better off knowing how you do without all that prep.

3. I don’t want to be listed on my company’s website because of past stalking

I grew up in a pretty messed-up household full of abuse. Now as an adult earning my own way, I have gone No Contact with family for my safety and sanity. These “people” have tried to kill me, abused me in every way possible, sabotaged past employment and education opportunities, and stalked me. I live my life like a hermit now to stay off the grid. That means they do not know where I live or work.

Well, I just recently found out that my job posted all staff’s names publically online, as they say it’s policy to do so. So if my abusive and psychotic family members decided they wanted to ruin everything for me again, all they would have to do if google my name and see my job’s location, company address, and my professional email. How do I go about addressing the issue while staying professional and not indulging too much personal information, as I don’t want anyone in my business? It’s an office and office gossip is a thing everywhere. I feel as though my safety has been compromised and I feel like I need to walk looking over my shoulder. What is the best way to solve this?

It’s pretty common to post staff listings online. For most people, it doesn’t cause any problems. But for some people — like you — it does, and in those cases reasonable employers will remove your info. I’d say this: “I had a situation in the past where I was stalk and harassed and have had to be careful not to list anything identifying my whereabouts online for safety reasons. I can’t have anything identifying where I live or work online. Can we exclude my name from the staff listing online?”

4. Checking in with my staff on my day off

I am a new manager for a retail company. What are your thoughts on me checking in on my day off to see if everything is running smoothly and what the sales are for the day?

It depends on the needs of the work. Does it go smoothly without you there? Do they know what types of emergencies you’d want to be contacted about? Is there some reason that you need to know the sales numbers that day and it can’t wait until tomorrow?

In general, the default should be that your days off is actual days off, unless there’s some real reason that they truly can’t be. That’s better for you, it sets a healthier example for your staff, and it allows people to learn to function in your absence (which you need unless you want to be tied to your work every day forever until you leave).

5. What to say in an email to a contact in the company where I’ll be interning

I’m a grad student and interning at my dream job this summer. I met someone at a work event last year at the same agency in a related department and would like to send an email re-introducing myself and letting him know I am looking forward to my internship this summer. I still have his card but am struggling to write an email that is not overly-friendly. I don’t have a specific ask, such as showing me around or taking me to coffee, since I imagine someone else will do that, but I would really like to say something since I need to work on developing my professional network.

“Hey Bob! We met at the Teapots Dinner last August, and you were incredibly helpful talking to me about spout design. I wanted to reach out and let you know that I’m going to be interning in Teapots Inc.’s communications department this summer, starting on May 20. I hope to get to reconnect while I’m there — I’d love to learn more about what you’re working on these days.”