Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Manager makes us say how we would do better than our coworkers

I used to do tech support for an IT company and we would have “peer review” meetings every 2 or 3 weeks where the boss would get a work order that somebody made a mistake on, such as taking too long to complete or not fully fixing the problem, then go over the whole thing in front of the group, then make us go around the table and tell how we would have handled things differently (with the benefit of hindsight, of course).

I always hated these meetings and brought it up in my exit interview, when asked if there was anything they could do to improve things. To me, all it did was single out one person and then let the whole group try to one-up them by telling how much better of a job they would have done. During the exit interview, my supervisor actually started to argue with me that it was a great teaching tool so I let it go.

Have you ever heard of such a thing? Do you think it actually helped? I know all of us techs resented it every time we had those meetings. It seems to go directly against the adage of public praise and private criticism.

I suppose it could be possible to do this in a way that was truly helpful and didn’t feel like public criticism, but it would take a very healthy culture and a manager who was great at facilitating that kind of conversation. That clearly wasn’t the case here. And “explain how you would have performed better than your coworker” is really, really not likely to go over well.

Even if your manager had different intentions for how these meetings would go, once he saw how they were actually playing out, he should have revamped them or called them off.

2. I have a job offer but still have tons of questions

I have a job offer, and on paper it’s a good offer. The salary is actually higher than I expected, the benefits are solid, and the job itself is exactly the kind of new challenge I was looking for. But I’m not sure the organization is the right fit, and I can’t believe they already made an offer! So far I’ve spoken to an HR rep for 10 minutes (phone), the department director for for about 20 (phone) and the two other senior folks on the team for just over an hour (in person). They’ve seen a couple of writing samples as well. That’s it!

I haven’t had any time to talk to the director in person. I haven’t done any work samples for them, which is typical for my field. I haven’t met any of the people my work would intersect with outside of my team, or even the entire team. And I really don’t have a sense of some pretty important things, like how we’ll measure my success, or what the director’s management style is like, or what kind of funding is available for professional development. I’m a pretty junior person (been in the workforce full-time for under four years) but I take these things pretty seriously.

I asked for a couple days to think about it, and I’ve been pulling together a long list of things I need to ask about, partially by digging through your archives for help. How do I approach these questions? Some of them I could just email about, but is it unreasonable of me to want to sit down and talk to the director in person before I accept?

Nope, it’s not unreasonable. But reach out ASAP; don’t wait for the end of the few days you asked for. Say something like this: “I’m really excited about this offer and very, very interested. Since you and I only had a chance to talk briefly earlier, would it be possible to set up a time to talk a bit more? I have some questions I hoped we could discuss to help me learn more about the role. I’d love to meet in person, but I’m sensitive to your need to get an answer quickly, so if talking by phone makes more sense, that would be fine too.”

3. I need to let employers know I’m an adult

Reading your advice, you have come down firmly on the side of not putting your age anywhere on your job application. So I am wondering how to address a dilemma I’m having in my current job hunt – prospective employers think I’m very young. I’m a 28-year-old man, but thanks to illness and genetics I look a decade younger. (Maybe more, I was recently asked if my 16 year old nephew was my older brother.) I have light hair, can’t grow a beard, and am built like a jockey. My life would be much easier if I could ride a horse.

I didn’t think this was a big deal, until I was turned down for a job partly because the HR person thought their clients would relate better to someone a little older. I scoped out on Linkedin as to who actually got the job, and it turns out she’s two years younger than me.

I attend interviews in a suit, but I don’t know how to hide the fact it was bought in the childrens’ department of a (fancy) department store then tailored.

Putting my date of birth on my resume seems an easy way to broadcast the fact I was born in the 80’s – but I’m unsure of the legalities around this and I’m wondering if there’s another way?

(You’d think the fact I have a bachelors degree, a graduate diploma, and three years working all on my resume would indicate I’m over 21, but my face seems to override that with “child prodigy” or something.)

I was going to say to put the date of your college graduation on your resume, which should signal age — but yeah, if that’s just making them think child prodigy, that’s not working.

I worry that putting your birth date on your resume will look pretty strange. When I see stuff that definitely doesn’t belong on a resume — age, names and ages of children (yes, some people really do that), health status (yes, that too), Social Security number — it tends to be a flag the person is out of touch with professional norms in a way that often manifests in other, more problematic ways too.

So I was going to suggest that you just address it head-on when you’re schedule an interview, saying something like this: “By the way, I’ve found it’s better for me to mention up-front that I look incredibly young. It sounds silly, but it’s the kind of thing that can throw off job interviewers. I’m actually 28 — and figured I’d head it off before you start wondering!” … but that wording isn’t great and I can’t come up with anything better.

What do others think?

4. Should I leave my degree off my resume?

I was wondering about listing education for a government job. It has been 15 years or more years since I went to college and I am don’t have a transcript to support the time in college. I was going through some crazy things, so I did not do well at school and have a very low GPA. So I am wondering if I should list it or not on my applications, and if I was lucky enough to get called in, would a background check pick it up?

You should absolutely list it. Looking like you have no degree at all will hurt you more than having one with a low GPA. Also, it’s quite likely that you won’t even be asked for your GPA at this point in your career (and you certainly don’t need to and shouldn’t proactively list your GPA on your resume). It doesn’t matter if you don’t have transcripts; you’re unlikely to need them, and if for some reason you do, you’d request them directly from the school at that point anyway.

5. Laid off, but now job status is in question

I work for an organization that has announced its intention to close. Shortly after the announcement, my husband accepted a new job in another state. He moved to the new location two weeks ago and I remained here to sort out our affairs and possibly work until my layoff date. However, I’ve been applying for jobs in the other state and would quit before my layoff date if I got a new job.

Here’s the problem: There is now a slim, but very well publicized, chance that my organization won’t close. Several hiring managers have said I’m a very strong candidate but since the organization might not close they don’t want to pull me away. How do I address this? I know you aren’t supposed to mention your marital status but bringing up my husband would allay that concern. Saying “my family has already made the move” makes me feel like I’m saying I still live with my parents, and saying that I’ve already bought a house seems fiscally irresponsible if I can’t mention my husband’s employment. How can I address this professionally?

You’re not prohibited from mentioning a spouse. You don’t want to mention your marital status on your resume or anything like that, but there’s no reason that you can’t acknowledge the existence of a spouse when it’s relevant, and in this case it’s highly relevant. It’s fine to explain that you’ll be moving regardless of what happens with your current organization because your husband has accepted a job in (city).

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Why am I hearing how my friend is messing up at work?

I recommended a good friend for a job at my company in a completely different department from me. He’s now been working there for a year. He’s in his mid-20s and is a good worker although he lacks experience. He was tossed into a job that he wasn’t qualified or trained for and given no leadership or supervision.

His boss (not my boss – again, separate departments) pulls me into her office last week and tells me my friend has made a mistake that cost the company thousands of dollars. Later, my friend’s coworker comes and tells me directly that my friend is “a fuck up” and she’s recommending that he be fired.

I didn’t want to know any of this and I’m confused and upset as to WHY ON EARTH I would be told. I’m not a supervisor or a person in authority. First, is this normal? Should I have been told this? Second, what am I supposed to do with this information? I wish I could un-hear all of it.

No, it’s not normal.

It’s possible that they were venting to you, without thinking through the fact that there was no reason to do it and it would put you in an unfair position. It’s also possible that they each felt like they should loop you back in — like, “That guy you recommended? Not the right one for the job!”

I can imagine a situation where if I were considering firing someone who a colleague had recommended, I might feel like I should loop them in on where things stood — just like you’d do if you weren’t hiring them at all after a colleague’s recommendation. I might feel like it would be helpful to seek their input — sort of like, “Here are the problems I’m seeing. I know you know him well. Do you think my assessment is off-base / is there a different perspective I should be taking?” But that would be a much more nuanced conversation than “This dude is a fuck-up” and doesn’t sound like what’s happening here.

Really, it just sounds like your coworkers are frustrated and venting in the wrong place. If it happens again, I’d say, “I feel like I’m in an awkward position hearing this. I’m assuming there’s no role for me to play here…?” and wait to see what they say.

2. Does it matter who you report to?

I had a great phone interview recently for a newly created communications manager role with the hiring manager, who is also the head of the department. When I asked if the position would be reporting directly to him, I was told that decision hasn’t been made yet. It may end up that way or it would report to the project manager who has been in the department longest. I was a little disappointed as part of the attraction to the job was the opportunity to work directly with the director.

Am I looking at this the wrong way and does it really matter who you report to? I think my chances of making it to the next round are pretty good. Is there a way to address this concern should I continue in the process?

I should probably mention that my current job is structured in a similar way which I don’t find appealing as I find it limiting, but the place I work at is also a mess with a slew of issues so not sure it’s fair to use this job as a comparison. I am anxious to leave, but don’t want to end up in a similar situation, and also don’t want to pass on what may end up being a good opportunity.

Hell, yes, it matters! Your manager has a huge impact on your day to day quality of life at work and is one of the biggest factors in whether you stay there or move on.

However, you can’t really make them decide this faster than they’re going to decide it. The most you can really do is to ask about it in the next stage and mention, politely, that the opportunity to work with the department head was definitely a draw for you. For example: “You mentioned when we last talked that there was a question about who this position will report to. I’ll admit that I was particularly drawn to the possibility of working with Cordelia. If it ends up looking like the role may report to Falcon instead, I’d love the chance to talk more in-depth with him and learn more about him.”

But I’d continue on in the interview process and gather as much information as you can. If they make you an offer and it turns out that you’d be reporting to other person, not the one you hoped to report to, it’s reasonable to ask to meet with that person to learn more about their working style (if you haven’t had a chance to talk substantively with that person by this point). And of course, you can always turn down the offer if you don’t think the job comes with a manager you want to work for.

3. Should I get a retroactive bonus?

The company I work for has a policy where if you work six days in one week, you get a $100 bonus. However, this was originally stated to be only for one department, as they do not get paid overtime. I do get paid overtime, so I wasn’t eligible. I accepted this and continued working six days a week. But then I learned that my department at another location WAS getting paid that bonus. Upon learning this, I went to my manager, who is also the manager at the other location. He said he was unaware and would look into it. I was informed that it was an oversight, and that starting the next week, everybody would get the $100 bonus.

I asked if that meant I would get my retro pay for the 8-9 weeks I had worked extra days, and was told no. Can they do this? Obviously my branch made a mistake, shouldn’t they be obligated to pay me the $800-$900 I feel they owe me?

They can do this. They’re only obligated to pay you what their agreement with you says they’ll pay you; what they’ve agreed to pay others (in this case, another team) is irrelevant. You agreed to one pay arrangement, which they fulfilled. Then you successfully argued for a different pay arrangement, which they’ve agreed to going forward — but they’re not obligated to do it retroactively. That’s true even though they’re telling you that they should have offered it to you earlier — the fact that they didn’t offer it earlier is the part the law would care about.

4. I was rejected but want to reiterate my interest

I had an interview about a week ago. The interview went great, almost to the point that i thought i got the job. The interviewer mentioned that the reason why I was called in was because I have the experience and most college students do not.

The job is still open; it looks as though the job has not been filled. But just yesterday I received a letter that said another candidate was selected for the position. How can I reiterate my interest in a polite, professional manner with out sounding like I didn’t get the point?.

I can only think of one reason they chose to pass me up: I mentioned I would attend school in the evenings if I got the job. Should I just call?

No, they’ve already made a decision about your candidacy, and they decided not to hire you. And it sounds like they’ve hired someone else. (Ads frequently stay up longer than they should, often long after a hire is made, so I wouldn’t read much into that.) You can’t reiterate your interest without sounding like you didn’t get that point. All you can do here is move on and focus on other openings.

5. Update: My GPA was low in law school due to family health issues

You answered my question about excusing my low GPA on a cover letter (#4 at the link).  I have since graduated, passed the bar, and managed to find employment.

Did some employers ask for transcripts? Yes. Usually, I included a caveat with the transcripts, or I explained it in the cover letter.

I ended up getting a job with a firm through my network, and they didn’t ask for grades during the hiring process. They were way more interested in my resume, and how much practical experience I had with law practice, rather than my academic achievements.

Your answer was thoughtful, and the comment feedback from the readers was much appreciated. I think that explaining the grades up front was a good move, as it prevented me from being shut out of opportunities during the hiring stage – the positions weren’t good fits for me, but at least I had a chance.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager’s boss wants us to complain about my manager to his face

Next week, my coworkers, my supervisor, and my supervisor’s boss are going to have a meeting to discuss any complaints we have about my supervisor. I feel that this is inappropriate. I feel that if anything, his boss should ask us privately if we have any concerns about his performance, and then she could give him feedback in private. It feels odd that he is going to be put on the spot in front of the group, and if I were in his shoes, I would be embarrassed.

That said, he has not been a very good supervisor, and he is the reason I put in my resignation for the end of May. (He blamed me for a mistake that he made, which was write-up worthy. After explaining my case, I did not get the write-up.) He has a habit of lying and blaming others for his mistakes, and just not showing up for his work hours.

I am just wondering if I am overreacting, and if this is a normal business practice. I am an advocate of feedback, but not in front of an audience. Should I even speak up in this meeting about issues I have, or just say nothing? I am at a loss on how to handle this situation.

No, this isn’t reasonable. It’s good that your manager’s boss wants to gather feedback about how your manager is doing, but it’s absurd to think that people will give candid feedback in front of said manager. It’s unreasonable for her to put the burden of that kind of tough confrontation onto people with less power in this situation. Rather, she should talk with each of you privately, synthesize the feedback, and relay it to your boss one-on-one … along with making it clear that he’s not to penalize anyone who spoke with her (followed by checking back with each of you to make sure that hasn’t happened).

If you’d rather not participate in this, I encourage you to say to your manager’s boss: “I’m not comfortable talking candidly about my concerns about Bob in front of Bob. I’m concerned about the tension it will cause in our relationship, and I’m relying on him for a good reference in the future. I’d be glad to talk with you one-on-one, but I don’t think you’ll get truly candid feedback if he’s part of the conversation.”

2. Manager won’t check if meeting times work for other people

I’m the marketing director at a not-for-profit with about 20 employees. Right now, if there’s an internal meeting to be scheduled that involves more than one department, the head of the company picks a date and time about a week before and circulates it to the staff. Notifications are really haphazard – she almost never asks key staff about availability beforehand, and emails don’t always go to the right people.

For example, yesterday she mentioned an upcoming marketing/launch meeting. I though the date was still up for grabs and said I’d go back to my desk to check my calendar. She told me that the meeting had already been set, and that we had received an email about it. Turns out nobody in marketing was on the email, which is tough because the whole department needed to be there. Some of us had conflicts or long-arranged outside meetings. One of us, who commutes and normally works a half-day from home that day, had a medical appointment scheduled outside the city. This is pretty typical. Most times we’re able to make the meetings work without too much fuss. But these aren’t super time-sensitive meetings and the chaos (and the boss’s irritation if we try to flag conflicts) is discouraging.

Is it normal to set meetings on 5 days’ notice without checking staff availability first? (Especially if some staff aren’t normally working, or are working from home on the day in question?) Any guidance on how to address the chaos of the current system? The head of the company takes discussions about process very personally, and escalates quickly, so nobody wants to make themselves a target by talking to her about it.

No, that’s not normal or reasonable. But you won’t be able to solve it if no one is willing to talk to her about it — there’s no magic elixir that you could give her or anything like that. So if you want to resolve it, someone needs to speak up.

That person should say this: “Could we start checking people’s availability before solidifying dates for meetings? We’ve had some situations recently where people had conflicts with existing appointments that were tough to change, were scheduled to be out that day, or otherwise had trouble making the meeting time work.” That person should then also suggest a logical person to handle that coordination, so that it’s not falling to the head of the organization. If she has an assistant or there’s someone who does admin work for your team or the organization, suggest that that person be in charge of finding meeting times that will work for everyone’s schedules.

I get that she hasn’t made herself easy to talk to, but this is pretty straightforward to speak up about and propose a solution to. (And if no one will bring themselves to do it because she’s that awful, that fact is the bigger problem.)

3. Charging my employer extra to create a special tool

I recently realized that I could create a tool for the small company I work for that would save a lot of time and potentially money. If I tell my employer about this, should I ask to be paid for the creation of this tool? I work in retail so this is not something that would be in the normal scope of my responsibilities.

If I should charge, should I just be paid at my normal rate for the amount of time it takes to create or should I approach this as a freelancer and say my rate is X? I have never done anything like this before so would appreciate any advice you could give

If it’s wildly, wildly outside the scope of your job, possibly. In many jobs, “other duties as assigned” is part of the gig, and it wouldn’t be realistic to ask for extra pay for taking on something outside your normal responsibilities. But there’s a point where it becomes reasonable, but it has to really be wildly outside the normal scope of your job, and even then it doesn’t always make sense.

But in retail, the scope of your job is probably clearly enough not tool creation that you probably could make the offer. Approach it as a freelancer; don’t use your normal pay rate, because this is a different type of work.

4. Company wants to verify my current salary with pay stubs

My current employer has a strict policy against verifying salary information for current employees.

I have accepted a contingent job offer, and they have verified over ten years employment history, education and salary. They are now asking for my pay stubs to verify salary information for current employer. In all of years I worked, I have never been asked to provide my pay stubs nor has anyone I have spoken to. Is this a normal request?

Yep, a lot of employers do this. It’s silly, because they shouldn’t be asking about your salary at all — but places that (wrongly) base your salary offer off of your salary history want to be sure that you’re giving them accurate information.

The good news for you: Your employer has a strict policy against disclosing this information. So I’d say, “My employer has a strict policy against disclosing salaries outside of the company, and it’s covered under my confidentiality agreement with them.”

5. Interviewing for a position that could be based in one of two cities

My question is probably less fascinating than, say, the one about the guy who pooped in a plant, but here I go. I currently live in New York, and I’m planning to move to Los Angeles with my partner in September. I’ve started to look at jobs out there, and I’ve been pleased to see a number of postings for positions that could be based in either New York or L.A. (The ads are specifically saying things like, “we’re looking for someone to work full-time out of our NY or LA offices.”) I actually have a phone screen for one tomorrow!

When in the interviewing/hiring process should I disclose to a potential employer that I’m planning on moving? At the in-person interview? The offer stage? Also, do you think this approach would hurt my chances of getting a job? I can understand that it might not be ideal for a company to have someone get started with a team in one city and then move three months later, but I’m not sure if it’s inconvenient enough to delay my job search until I move.

Tell them early on, so that they’re not proceeding in the process with incorrect information about you. After all, it’s possible that they could be thinking, “Ugh, she’d be great for LA, but not quite right for what we want in NY.” (Or, of course, the opposite.)

During the phone interview, I’d just ask about it by saying something like, “I noticed in your ad that you’re looking for someone either in New York or LA. Although I’m currently in New York, I’m actually planning to move to LA in September and thought I should mention that in case it impacts how we proceed.”