Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Coworker has drama-filled calls with his girlfriend 10 times a day

I share an office with two people, Sam and Wakeen. Wakeen takes multiple phone calls from his girlfriend each and every day. She normally calls at least 10 times a day, and she will sometimes call as often as every 15 minutes. The volume of the phone calls alone would be bothersome, but the phone conversations always seem to be drama-filled, and frankly are embarrassing to be forced to listen to. Wakeen does not have a cell phone, so these calls are going to his desk extension. I thought I might be off base in being so annoyed by this, so I checked with my other office mate, Sam, and he is just as annoyed as I am. Not only are the constant phone conversations awkward and embarrassing to overhear, it really breaks our concentration and is hindering our productivity during an extremely busy period for both of us.

I know people will suggest wearing headphones. I do, and it’s gotten to the point if I don’t already have my headphones on, I will scramble to put them on and start some music the instant I hear Wakeen’s phone ringing. Sam is unable to work while listening to music; I did suggest listening to white noise. That said, we really would like him to stop talking to his girlfriend all the time, but we can’t seem to come up with a good way to ask him to stop accepting phone conversations from her. Ideally, we would like to avoid further awkwardness and hurt feelings because Wakeen does a significant amount of work for both of us, often on very tight deadlines, and we don’t want to jeopardize a good working relationship. How can we ask him to stop the phone calls while preserving our working relationship? If he says “I can’t” or makes some excuse as to why he “has” to accept her calls, thoughts on what we can say?

Be direct! “Wakeen, it’s hard to concentrate when you’re on personal calls so frequently during the day. Could you take them outside of our office?”

If he says he can’t, then say, “It’s at the point where it’s disrupting our ability to work, so we do need you to come up with a solution.” If you want, you can add, “Sorry, I know this kind of thing is a pain when you’re sharing space with people” — but still hold firm.

Keep in mind that you’re clearly in the right here — he’s disrupting your shared work space multiple times a day, and it’s reasonable to ask him to stop.

Read an update to this letter here.

2. I was offered a job — if someone else falls through

I have been going through the rigorous interview process with a major healthcare company. I am more than qualified for the position, without being considered overqualified. I filled out the e-application, completed the online assessments, then a few weeks later completed a telephone pre-qualification interview, which led to a telephone interview. About a week later, I was called and advised that I was selected for a face-to-face interview with the hiring manager.

From the impressions I got, from each step, I aced it all, and was expecting the formal offer. I received a call today saying that they were going to offer me the position, but that the positions for the training class had already been fill prior to my interview with the hiring manager?! They even sent the official offer by email, and they are proceeding with the background check as well as the drug test, and said that if someone rejects the offer or does not pass the background check or the drug test, I may be called to start the training, which is set to start on April 27, or May 1. I was not advised if I am first alternate or anything else; all I know is that they may give me a call the Friday before the training class is set to commence. Their letter said: “I am pleased to confirm ___ has extended to you a contingent offer as a backup for the position of ___ . In the event that one or more of the individuals with standard offers are unable to participate in the training class for this position, you will receive a more detailed offer letter containing additional materials.”

This has left me with the worst feeling I have ever felt trying to land a job, as I am not feeling the elation of landing the position, nor do I have the realization that I need to look elsewhere. This feeling of being left in the lurch is really unsettling, and do not know why they would continue to conduct interviews when they knew that they already had their choices for the next training class. I am going through all sorts of emotions. Should I call the talent advisor for clarification, just let things play out, or should I move on? I have so far resisted the temptation to call, fearing that emotions would put an end to any chances I have whatsoever.

You’re taking all of it more personally than you should — including earlier in the process when you were sure that you would get the job (which can never, ever be sure of, no matter how qualified you are or well your interviews go).

They’re actually being very straightforward with you about the situation; you may or may not get a real job offer in the next few weeks. They’re saying that you’re a back-up (which many people are, just usually without realizing it) and that there’s a chance it will come through and a chance that it won’t.

I’d assume that it won’t happen come through so that you’re not counting on it. Continue your job search, and then if they do call you and make you a real offer, you can decide at that point whether you want to accept or not.

3. I’m waiting on serious medical test results and worried I seem off my game at work

I recently started a new job (about 5 months ago), and everything’s been going great. The problem is I went to the doctor for a medical issue earlier this week, and it turns out it may be something very serious. I had to get more tests done and am currently waiting for the results. Obviously, my mind simply isn’t in the game at work. I’m having trouble focusing enough just to go through my emails let alone do any real work.

My boss and coworkers have been at a conference for the past week, but they get back tomorrow and I really don’t know how to handle this. I don’t want to take any sick days right now because I may really need those sick days down the line. I also don’t want to say anything to anyone about the health issue because I don’t know anything yet. However, I’m pretty sure they’ll be able to tell something’s wrong (aside from the fact that I’m distracted and emotional, I’m also in quite a bit of pain and haven’t slept well for days). I should get my results back in a week, but until then I’m not really sure how to focus at work or what to say to coworkers/ my boss if they ask what’s wrong. I’d really appreciate any advice.

If you feel comfortable telling your boss what’s going on, I would. I think you’ll feel better feeling she they can tell something is wrong but don’t know what it is. I’d say this: “I feel like I should let you know that I got some potentially scary medical news this week. I’m waiting for more test results in order to know what’s going on, but I’m obviously distracted by this and haven’t been sleeping well, and I wanted to just let you know what’s going on in case you notice me seeming off in the next week. I’ll let you know for sure once I know something, but wanted to just tell you that this is going on.”

For coworkers, I think it would be fine to just say you’ve been feeling under the weather or that you’re dealing with some personal stress, but leave it at that if you’d prefer not to get more into it with them.

I hope you get good news in those test results! Come back and let us know if you think of it.

4. Can I still get severance if my company canceled my job elimination but I’ve already made plans to leave?

After working at this company for five years, I found out two months ago that my position was being dissolved and that I would be losing my job. I began to apply for jobs quickly, and within the past week have lined up a job to start a week after my final day.

I found out today that my current position has been extended indefinitely and they want to know if I would like to stay on. My concern is, can I still receive a severance package since up until today I thought I was losing my job and have another lined up? The other two girls who were losing there jobs with me received their severance packages and have already left the company.

Have you already signed a severance contract? If so, the answer to your question is probably within that contract; some severance agreements cancel the severance if the company offers you further work. But if you haven’t signed anything yet, then it’s really up to your company. No law requires companies to offer severance, so it’s entirely up to them whether or not they do.

One piece of leverage you may have is the question of when your last day is. For example, if they want you to stay another month and that start date would be okay with your new job, you could agree to do that in exchange for still getting your severance.

5. My interviewer refused to interview me

I arrived about 5 minutes early for an interview and walked to the front desk. The woman sitting there looked at me, but I didn’t hear her say anything. She was talking to someone, so I waited patiently for her to acknowledge me. After about a minute, she looked at me again. I smiled, introduced myself, and said I was there for the interview. She said she would be right with me. I thanked her, and sat down in the waiting room.

After she came out to talk to me, she looked at my resume and then refused to interview me. She said I had interrupted her unnecessarily. I was confused, but I apologized and explained I was simply letting her know I had arrived for my interview. She said that she acknowledged me when I first walked up to her desk and I had interrupted her again. I explained I had not heard her say anything and apologized again. She still refused to interview me. I thanked her for consideration for the job, and left.

I felt really terrible about that experience afterward. It seemed to be a simple misunderstanding to me, but that is just my point of view. Did I really do something worth being refused an interview? What can I do to avoid events like this?

Based on what you have here, you behaved perfectly appropriately and she behaved like a loon. There’s not much that you can do to avoid loons in life; they pop up randomly, and all you can really do is recognize them when you see them.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Interviewer asked if I’d rather fight or steal

A while ago I had a weird interview for a job in a sports store. The most puzzling of all was this question: If you had to choose, would you rather get into a fight or steal?
No additional information and absolutely no third option. You HAVE TO choose.

I admit, I was surprised by the question, I tried to avoid the choice by explaining that both are against my principles, I don’t steal and try to find a more constructive and mature way to deal with conflict. Besides, I wouldn’t do well in a fight (I am an average sized woman). They were not satisfied and kept insisting that I choose between the options they gave me.

But what is the point of the question? What would be the better answer?

I have absolutely no idea what the point of the question was. It’s like asking whether you’d rather light someone on fire or kick them in the face. I guess I’d rather kick them in the face, but I’m not really enthused about picking that as an option.

Some interviewers are just very, very bad at interviewing. This was one of them. The only right answer is concluding that you were dealing with a dolt.

2. Boss ordered me to contribute to a gift card for a laid off employee

We have an employee who was recently laid off due to contract issues. After the fact, and after said employee had left for the day, my boss and I were discussing (in a general sense) what it’s like to be laid off. I suggested that it would be really helpful to get her a gift card to Staples or Office Depot to benefit her search for a new job. He really caught onto the idea and wanted to do it. I told him up front that I’d be happy to donate X amount of money toward it.

A week later, he sends out an email telling us to provide the money, but toward a gift card larger than what I had previously volunteered to pledge toward. It’s not substantially larger, but I’d be paying nearly double of what I had agreed to pledge. I don’t think it’s right for my boss to think he can open my wallet and take more money from me than what I had agreed to pledge. I was already going to be voluntarily giving him my money, and it was my idea to begin with anyways. Am I right to think that he’s wrong here? I mean, I won’t exactly be missing any important bill payments or anything because of it, so financially it’s just sort of an annoyance. I don’t know if I should bite my lip, or if I should say something. And if I say something, I don’t want to appear like I’m too cheap to help out a former co-worker and get guilt-tripped and singled out. He has a tendency to incorrectly infer stuff about what I say.

For what it’s worth, I think asking staff to fund this at all is a bad idea; generally when an organization lays someone off, they pay severance (or at least they should, if at all possible) and it feels pretty tacky to pass that obligation on to its employees. And if I were laid off and got a Staples gift card from my former coworkers, I’d probably feel a little icky about it; not everyone wants that kind of charity, although certainly that’s not universal. (Also, how is Staples or Office Depot going to help her job search? The days of needing resume paper and printing supplies are long past.)

But as for your actual question: I’d back to your boss and say, “I’d be happy to contribute $X, as I mentioned the other day, but $Y isn’t in my budget. In general, I think we should let people decide on their own how much they’d like to contribute, and even whether they want to contribute, since it might not be in everyone’s budget.”

3. Job posting was pulled after one day

My question relates to how to handle a job posting that was quickly pulled down. On Monday, I saw a job posting for a position with a title that is exactly what I do, at a great firm that I’ve been eyeing for a while, and less than 2 miles from my home – pretty much a dream job. However, aside from the title, there was no other information about the job- the requirements and qualifications fields were blank. Other jobs on their site – including an entry level job posted on the same day – have detailed descriptions, so I’m guessing the listing was posted prematurely, they clicked the wrong button, etc.

I thought applying to a job with no description might come off as odd, so I held off applying just yet. They pulled the listing on Wednesday (presumably catching the error) and haven’t yet reposted. My question is how should I proceed? Do I wait until it gets reposted? Do I be proactive and reach out – to HR or management – and express interest based off of the initial posting? I’m struggling with balancing the “fortune favors the bold”/show initiative approach (but maybe come off too strong) and the follow protocol way (but maybe let a great opportunity slip by).

It sounds like it was probably an error of the sort you describe, although who knows. I think it would be totally fine to send in your resume and a cover letter that opens by saying something like, “I saw that earlier this week you briefly had a job posting for a Teapot Maker posted briefly, although there wasn’t much information included and it was quickly removed. I realize that this might have been a simple clerical error and you’re not actually gearing up to Teapot Maker, but I’d be so delighted to work for Teapots Inc. in this type of role that I thought I’d submit my materials to you just in case.”

My one caution here is that there’s only so much you can tell about a job by the title. Not having the actual job description puts you at a disadvantage. But as long as you’re not terribly bothered by that, I don’t think there’s much to lose here.

4. Telling my boss that I’m leaving after I promised him that I wouldn’t

I work for a small start-up company (less than 5 employees total.) The people I work with are great people and my boss is very accommodating to my needs and requests. However, a month ago, my boss broke the news to me that our financing was being pulled and that I was being laid off. My boss didn’t want to lose me as an asset and so he offered to keep paying me out of pocket until he was able to acquire funds for the company. I am starting out and have little experience and I knew that it would take me some time to secure employment elsewhere and so I foolishly agreed to continue working off the books. At the same time though, I have started the job search to get out of this situation.

Throughout the past month, he has asked me several times if I am planning on seeing the company through this, and in an effort to remain diplomatic, I have said yes. In addition, he has been very accommodating to me during this time and so now, when I’m at the point of securing interviews with other companies, I am getting nervous about having to tell him that I am taking another position. How do I go about breaking the news to him without causing any hard feelings and maintaining him as a part of my network?

“I really appreciate how much you’ve worked to keep me here, but ultimately I felt like I needed a more stable situation and this came together quickly. I hope you understand, and I’ve really enjoyed working with you.”

Alternately, you can always go with the old “This happened to fall in my lap, and I couldn’t turn it down.”

Really, someone paying you under the table because of the company’s finances can’t reasonably be too surprised when you decide to leave.

5. Sexual harassment window decal

May I have your thoughts on a large window decal for the rear of my SUV window that says: “Stop sexual harassment at work. If you witness it, report it.”

What do you think the general public will think? What about my employer (my car will be parked on their lot)?

I think it’ll seem oddly specific and people will wonder why that particular issue, out of all the ones you might choose to take on, and why this particular method. It doesn’t tend to be an issue that inspires that kind of passion, in general, and rarely shows up on a large window decal.

Your employer will wonder if there’s a story there or if you’re trying to make some sort of point to them, and everyone else will just find it odd.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewer laughed at me

I went on an interview for a marketing related job and met with three interviewers. As I was responding to the question of why I wanted to work for the company, I noticed one of the women glancing over across the table to her colleague, laughing. We made eye contact and the interviewer who was laughing quickly covered her expression with her hand, to hide her laugh. This is a company whose culture is about being inclusive and investing and valuing people and clearly this message was falling short in these three unprofessional women. Not to mention, the actual job title was being falsely advertised, which in turn was not a marketing job but rather an administration one.

What would have been the appropriate thing for me to do during a situation like this? Do you think it is appropriate for me to contact the director of Human Resources and the president of the company to inform them of their unprofessional hiring team?

No.

That’s horrible, and I can absolutely understand why you were put off by it. But it’s entirely possible that she wasn’t laughing at you at all; she might have been laughing at an email or IM they both just received or who knows what else. Of course, she should have explained that to you and apologized (“I’m so sorry, we just got an odd email; my apologies!”) because any decent interviewer should have understood that it would come across rudely and that it would have been particularly hurtful if there was no explanation. She didn’t, and thus she is rude and an ass.

But it won’t do you any favors to complain to HR or the company president. These employees are known quantities, you’re an unknown quantity, and there’s too much baggage around candidates who go over interviewers’ heads to complain (i.e., they’re often overreacting and lacking in judgment — not a group you want to be lumped in with). To be clear, it’s not that this was acceptable; it’s just that it doesn’t rise to the level of reporting it, given the context.

2. Employee’s new schedule is difficult to work with

I have an employee who started a second job, making his availability slim to none since I am no longer his priority. He is available only on Sundays, but can no longer be scheduled for on-calls or be able to attend monthly store meetings during any other day of the week. His work ethic is still superb, but it has been difficult working around his new schedule. I am willing to interview other candidates for his position, but I don’t want to lose him since he is such a valuable employee. How do I handle a situation like this that is best for my business and leaves both of us happy?

What’s the minimum you’d accept from him? Figure that out and then have a candid conversation with him where you tell him what you need from him and see if he can commit to it. For example: “Joe, you’re a great employee and I’d very much like to keep you. I’d need a commitment of working X Sundays a month. Can you do that?”

If his schedule just doesn’t work with what you need, be direct about that too: “It sounds like your schedule just doesn’t line up with what we need anymore. But I’ve loved working with you, and if you ever want to come back, we’d be delighted.”

3. Band manager wants us to room with the opposite sex while we travel

I am a female vocalist who tours in a 10-piece band in Texas. I’m sure that being in the music business is very different from the normal business world…but I’d imagine a lot of the same principles overlap.

Anyway, the band I’m in consists of 2 girls and 8 guys. Recently, our band manager informed us girls that, in order to save money, he would be having us share a hotel room with one of the guys in the band while on the road. We have both (as well as the married male members of the band) expressed our extreme discomfort at this idea, but he insists that’s the way it’s going to be. Is this legal? Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this?

Sure, it’s legal. But do you work for the manager, or does he work for the band? If the latter, tell him no, period. If the former, push back as a group and say it’s not acceptable to y’all and not going to happen.

4. Centering your cover letter

Why do people center entire cover letters? What have I done to deserve this? :-(

Was this a thing a few years back? I’ve also gotten centered resumes! For context, these are from individuals in their 40s – 50s.

It is one of life’s great mysteries.

5. Update: My timesheet was changed to indicate I used vacation time when I didn’t (#2 at the link)

Remember the letter-writer last month whose timesheet was changed to indicate that she’d used vacation time when she hadn’t? Here’s the update.

I really appreciate that you printed my question–the comments were great, and really helped me out with a tough issue. I have an update for you:

As I mentioned in some of the original post comments, after I wrote to you, I was on the phone with my IT department for a different issue, this issue came up, and they showed me a way to look up in our system who had changed my timesheet data. I figured out who did it (our head of compliance, if you can believe it), and sent him a note (with accompanying screenshots of when and how the changes were made) that cc’ed those I had spoken with in my quest. Most of the people who I had spoken to trying to track this issue down were equally concerned by this situation. Today, I checked my timesheet, and it had been changed to the appropriate hours.

After talking to IT more, it appears my company uses two distinct timesheets for each employee–one we fill out, but is only used to bill customers for hours spent on a project, and one that actually tracks sick/vacation/training/etc. time in addition to regular work time. Remarkably, only the former can be personally entered by employees–and one software does not “talk” to the other. Unless I directly email an entirely separate admin that I’ll be out sick, on vacation, etc–it won’t be counted even if I put it in my timesheet. The timesheet I can edit is essentially an accounting tool. It’s a weird system that I’m not sure is a great idea–but not my call. Regardless, my vacation days are fine.

So, ultimately, after speaking with a trusted coworker, I decided to let this one go and not pursue it further for the moment. I know it’s a bit of an anticlimactic end, but at least I learned a lot more about our timekeeping system–and at the same time, how poorly it is understood in our organization.