Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewer laughed at me

I went on an interview for a marketing related job and met with three interviewers. As I was responding to the question of why I wanted to work for the company, I noticed one of the women glancing over across the table to her colleague, laughing. We made eye contact and the interviewer who was laughing quickly covered her expression with her hand, to hide her laugh. This is a company whose culture is about being inclusive and investing and valuing people and clearly this message was falling short in these three unprofessional women. Not to mention, the actual job title was being falsely advertised, which in turn was not a marketing job but rather an administration one.

What would have been the appropriate thing for me to do during a situation like this? Do you think it is appropriate for me to contact the director of Human Resources and the president of the company to inform them of their unprofessional hiring team?

No.

That’s horrible, and I can absolutely understand why you were put off by it. But it’s entirely possible that she wasn’t laughing at you at all; she might have been laughing at an email or IM they both just received or who knows what else. Of course, she should have explained that to you and apologized (“I’m so sorry, we just got an odd email; my apologies!”) because any decent interviewer should have understood that it would come across rudely and that it would have been particularly hurtful if there was no explanation. She didn’t, and thus she is rude and an ass.

But it won’t do you any favors to complain to HR or the company president. These employees are known quantities, you’re an unknown quantity, and there’s too much baggage around candidates who go over interviewers’ heads to complain (i.e., they’re often overreacting and lacking in judgment — not a group you want to be lumped in with). To be clear, it’s not that this was acceptable; it’s just that it doesn’t rise to the level of reporting it, given the context.

2. Employee’s new schedule is difficult to work with

I have an employee who started a second job, making his availability slim to none since I am no longer his priority. He is available only on Sundays, but can no longer be scheduled for on-calls or be able to attend monthly store meetings during any other day of the week. His work ethic is still superb, but it has been difficult working around his new schedule. I am willing to interview other candidates for his position, but I don’t want to lose him since he is such a valuable employee. How do I handle a situation like this that is best for my business and leaves both of us happy?

What’s the minimum you’d accept from him? Figure that out and then have a candid conversation with him where you tell him what you need from him and see if he can commit to it. For example: “Joe, you’re a great employee and I’d very much like to keep you. I’d need a commitment of working X Sundays a month. Can you do that?”

If his schedule just doesn’t work with what you need, be direct about that too: “It sounds like your schedule just doesn’t line up with what we need anymore. But I’ve loved working with you, and if you ever want to come back, we’d be delighted.”

3. Band manager wants us to room with the opposite sex while we travel

I am a female vocalist who tours in a 10-piece band in Texas. I’m sure that being in the music business is very different from the normal business world…but I’d imagine a lot of the same principles overlap.

Anyway, the band I’m in consists of 2 girls and 8 guys. Recently, our band manager informed us girls that, in order to save money, he would be having us share a hotel room with one of the guys in the band while on the road. We have both (as well as the married male members of the band) expressed our extreme discomfort at this idea, but he insists that’s the way it’s going to be. Is this legal? Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this?

Sure, it’s legal. But do you work for the manager, or does he work for the band? If the latter, tell him no, period. If the former, push back as a group and say it’s not acceptable to y’all and not going to happen.

4. Centering your cover letter

Why do people center entire cover letters? What have I done to deserve this? :-(

Was this a thing a few years back? I’ve also gotten centered resumes! For context, these are from individuals in their 40s – 50s.

It is one of life’s great mysteries.

5. Update: My timesheet was changed to indicate I used vacation time when I didn’t (#2 at the link)

Remember the letter-writer last month whose timesheet was changed to indicate that she’d used vacation time when she hadn’t? Here’s the update.

I really appreciate that you printed my question–the comments were great, and really helped me out with a tough issue. I have an update for you:

As I mentioned in some of the original post comments, after I wrote to you, I was on the phone with my IT department for a different issue, this issue came up, and they showed me a way to look up in our system who had changed my timesheet data. I figured out who did it (our head of compliance, if you can believe it), and sent him a note (with accompanying screenshots of when and how the changes were made) that cc’ed those I had spoken with in my quest. Most of the people who I had spoken to trying to track this issue down were equally concerned by this situation. Today, I checked my timesheet, and it had been changed to the appropriate hours.

After talking to IT more, it appears my company uses two distinct timesheets for each employee–one we fill out, but is only used to bill customers for hours spent on a project, and one that actually tracks sick/vacation/training/etc. time in addition to regular work time. Remarkably, only the former can be personally entered by employees–and one software does not “talk” to the other. Unless I directly email an entirely separate admin that I’ll be out sick, on vacation, etc–it won’t be counted even if I put it in my timesheet. The timesheet I can edit is essentially an accounting tool. It’s a weird system that I’m not sure is a great idea–but not my call. Regardless, my vacation days are fine.

So, ultimately, after speaking with a trusted coworker, I decided to let this one go and not pursue it further for the moment. I know it’s a bit of an anticlimactic end, but at least I learned a lot more about our timekeeping system–and at the same time, how poorly it is understood in our organization.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My team wants to be recognized with cookies and trophies

I need you to tell me if I’m being a terrible person. I manage a small team of part-time associates doing a pretty entry-level customer service job. Previous managers have apparently baked cookies, purchased novelty trophies, and made up awards to celebrate when employees made their goals. Most of this was on their own time with their own money, although admittedly it wasn’t too much of either. Personally, I think rewarding people for simply making their goals is unneceesary in most cases. That’s what they get paid for, and it’s what I expect them to do. Don’t get me wrong – I always thank everyone and congratulate them when goals are made, and I send out a spreadsheet daily with sales updates in which I also reiterate those congratulations for the entire team to see.

Frankly, before I took over, this team never had a decent manager and rarely made any of their goals. We’re now exceeding all of our sales goals regularly, but I’m getting some comments from some of the more seasoned employees that they want more recognition (like they used to get). My feeling is that I pay them to do a job so I expect them to do that job. When they go above and beyond, a thank you, a public congratulations, and an eventual raise should be motivation enough. I don’t think I should have to bribe my employees to do a good job, but am I wrong here? Am I really a terrible person?

Nope, I’m with you. That said, if I had stellar employees who were telling me that they wanted these thing, I’d get them for them, because it’s a small price to pay to make stellar people happy. But if they’re just scraping by, then no, I don’t think you’re obligated to show up with cookies and trophies.

(Also, are you sure that cookies and trophies are what they’re talking about? If they’re actually talking about something more substantial — like feeling appreciated — that’s something you’d want to pay attention to.)

2. Coworker is constantly monitoring and questioning me

I have been in my current job for about 10 months. It is not ideal (low pay, bad commute) but I’ve been trying to make it work. One of my major issues is the woman whose desk is opposite mine. For some reason, she spends most of her day monitoring my every move. She frequently asks me what I’m thinking about, why I’m sitting the way I am, what I’m doing, who I was speaking to on the phone, and on and on. If I don’t immediately stop what I’m doing to answer her, she assumes I’m mad and then wants to have a lengthy discussion about how to work this out. These talks are often accompanied by suggestions about how to improve my demeanor and attitude.

I get along well with everyone else in the office and have had only positive feedback from my supervisors. No one else seems to find my demeanor or attitude lacking. I have also noticed that this person doesn’t seem to interact with anyone else this way.

My strategy for handling the situation was to try and pleasantly redirect the conversation to a more neutral topic. When this clearly wasn’t working, and it got to the point that my work was constantly being interrupted and impacted, I spoke to our immediate supervisor. Unfortunately, in an attempt to help, she went directly to my coworker and told her that I complained about her. Of course, this has made everything worse. This woman has stepped up her vigilance to the point that she is constantly monitoring my facial expressions and saying things like “You look angry. Are you mad about something?” Actually I’m perfectly fine until she starts hounding me!

Tell her clearly and directly to stop: “Jane, you frequently ask me whether I’m angry or upset. I am neither, but it’s making it hard to focus on my work when you keep asking me. Please stop asking those questions.” … “Jane, it’s hard to focus when you ask me what I’m thinking about, why I’m sitting a certain way, or who I was talking to. Can you please stop asking me questions like that, unless there’s a specific work reason you need to know?”

If it continues after that, go back to your manager and explain that the problem has gotten worse since you last talked to her, that it’s making it difficult for you to stay focused, and that you’ve asked Jane clearly and directly to stop, to no avail. If Jane hears about it and doesn’t like it, too bad for Jane.

3. We’re supposed to share email passwords and log into each other’s accounts

I am newly hired in a customer service role. Anytime a someone in our department is absent, someone else will log into that person’s email account using the absent person’s password to retrieve emails that might need immediate response. I spoke to my supervisor about this practice and explained I’m not comfortable logging in with someone else’s password to access the information. I also explained I’m not comfortable with sharing my password. My supervisor said the email account belongs to the company, not to the individual, and should only be used for business so I shouldn’t have a problem with it. What do you think?

It’s bad practice and most employers don’t allow it for security reasons. But it’s really your employer’s call, as long as they’re not violating any industry regulations specific to your field.

4. Should I turn down a lunch invitation from a former coworker who I don’t particularly like?

I just left a job that made me miserable for a new position that I am loving. I have moved on and am happy. I have met one of my former coworkers, who was a positive person, after leaving. Now a man who was in a much more senior position is asking me to meet for lunch. I didn’t dislike him, but he was a major complainer and I just honestly don’t feel like staying in touch. I left that place for a reason! However, I get the importance of networking and this is a small enough town where we could run into each other again. Any thoughts on how to respond?

I don’t think you’re obligated to eat lunch with him if you don’t feel like it and he’s not someone you’d like. I’d just say that you’re really busy with your new job but that you hope all is well with him and hope to keep in touch. (That last part is the polite “I’ll call you” of the work world.) Then connect with him on LinkedIn or something as a demonstration of a much lower-engagement way to keep in touch. (Although if you can’t stomach that, you can totally skip that part.)

5. Being re-interviewed for a job by the same person who interviewed me last time

I wanted to ask you about an interview I just had that felt very awkward but could have been totally normal. It was a first-line phone interview by a guy who just wanted to know if I had the relevant experience, which I do. What felt awkward was that I was interviewed by this company for another position in January which I was not hired for: it was a field-based position on a team (I am a social worker) for a New York state contract. When they interviewed me in January, the rollout date was supposed to be in May and then the state changed it to July, so they were stuck with all these premature interviews, which they decided to do anyway. I got an email from them about 3 weeks ago saying that there have been changes in that program and they were no longer hiring for it. They didn’t say anything about my performance during the interview.

This is a telecommuting position and they sent me an email invitation to apply for the job. The reason why it feels awkward is because if they wanted to interview me for this position, I would be interviewed by the same person who interviewed me last time. I feel like they kind of “know who I am,” but there are 22 openings for telecommuters, which is a lot, and I don’t know if it’s a good or neutral sign that they kept my resume on file and solicited me for another position. I would assume that if they didn’t consider me a viable candidate for some job within their organization, they would have thrown my resume in the garbage. Do you have a take on this?

Doesn’t seem weird to me. They’re interviewing you again because they probably don’t perfectly retain everything you told them last time (or possibly even any of it), they didn’t get past the phone interview stage last time (which means that they haven’t really gone in-depth yet), and there may be different things they’re looking for this time. This is very normal to do; it happens all the time.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I’ve been grumpy at work — how can I salvage it now?

I’m am into my first year at the office and would appreciate some tips on how to behave and interact with others. Basically, I’m an open book, so people know when I’m happy and when I’m not. Naturally when I’m upset or angry, people can tell. I have been really stressed and haven’t been nice recently. Basically grumpy. Is there any way I can salvage the situation? Nobody is shoo-ing away from me; I just thought I might be able to do something about it.

Yeah, you really don’t want to be openly grumpy at work. I mean, we’re all human, but being openly grumpy more than very, very occasionally and more than one day at a time is … not great for your reputation and your relationships with coworkers. That’s doubly true if it’s more anger than stress, or if it comes across as anger. You’re pretty much expected to pull it together and be reasonably pleasant — or at least not unpleasant — when you’re at work. It’s part of what they’re paying you for. It’s especially the case when you’re newer (both to the work world itself and to this particular job), because you don’t have a long history of different behavior to weigh against it.

If you were really rude to anyone, apologize. But otherwise, just move immediately into pleasant-cheerful- and-helpful mode, and stick to it. After a while, you should hopefully counteract whatever happened earlier.

2. Should I warn my predecessor that she shouldn’t keep using us as a reference?

I work in a field where you basically have to wait for someone to die before a job becomes available. So last year, when the perfect job became available and I was able to grab it, I was totally thrilled.

I hadn’t done my research on the company too well (I checked their site, but not their newspaper articles) and only found out when friends started laughing when I told them where I was going to work that the person in the job before me had been involved a huge scandal that involved her, a top politician, and our company in a massive court case. It was a major drama that has affected our company negatively, and she doesn’t work here anymore for obvious reasons. It was a big enough drama that it’s still in the papers occasionally. I’m perfectly happy here, it’s all good, and this is a nice place to work, so I’m stunned that she’d do what she did to the organization.

But the person who used to have this job is still claiming to work here. She still lists this place on her LinkedIn page, for example, even though she left last year. I was told just now that another organization phoned to ask if she still worked here as she’d applied for a job there, and the person who answered the phone was very pointed and precise in saying that she hadn’t worked here in some time (but not why). So my predecessor is getting to reference checking in finding a new job, but no further.

Thing is, I’m kind of sympathetic to her situation. She’s probably waiting for someone else to die to get another job. She made a huge mistake, but I don’t think she should suffer forever for it. We all make mistakes – but then maybe not on this scale. Should I ignore it and let the people who answer the phone just sabotage her? (She’s incredibly unpopular here, as you can imagine, so they are delighted to do it. But they suffered far more than I.) This would be a good point towards her not lying about still working here. Should I warn her? I could contact her on LinkedIn and let her know not to bother saying she’s still here or using us as a reference. Or do I mind my own business and just listen to the people here laugh as they get their revenge?

This really isn’t your business, and you should stay out of it. This isn’t a situation where someone is being wronged and you can step in to serve justice; she’s simply reaping the natural consequences of her actions. And surely she knows that she shouldn’t be using your organization as a reference — it’s more likely that your employer is getting calls not because she’s proactively offering them as a reference, but just because it’s clear from her resume that she used to work there. (Employers don’t have to stick to the provided reference list, after all.) But if she IS proactively suggesting them as a reference, that’s bizarrely out of touch, but still not yours to fix.

3. Dealing with a parent’s serious illness at work

I recently learned that my mother has an illness that’s advanced. Though she will be undergoing treatment, it’s possible that she will get sick or worse soon given her condition. How do I let people know about this at work? Since so much of what will happen from here is unknown, I’d rather not tell people too soon just so I can deal with this on my own, but I don’t want to disappear suddenly for something I knew was happening. Complicating matters is that I’ve just been put on a big project that runs over the next few months, and I’m the only person on our immediate team with a certification needed to complete much of our work.

What I did in this situation (with my dad) was to talk to my boss and let her know what was going on, and that I wasn’t sure yet what kind of time I might need off or how it might impact things beyond that, but that I’d keep her posted as things developed. People are generally very understanding of this kind of thing.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, and I hope things go as well as they can for your mom and your whole family in the coming months.

4. Can I insist on a written performance evaluation?

My first annual review is coming up. My boss told me that it will be “verbal.” However, if my boss presents a form for me to sign after my verbal annual review, should I sign it? My boss and I have had ups and downs and I prefer a review in writing because I think she’ll use a verbal annual review later down the line for a performance improvement plan to say “See, I told you in the annual review you should do xyz and you didn’t so now I’m putting you on a performance plan” (my word against hers). Can I request an annual review in writing?

Nope. It’s up to her whether she wants to do it in writing or not. As for signing, refusing to sign an evaluation looks really, really bad — it’s a very quick way to completely destroy the relationship in about five seconds. Keep in mind that you’re not signing to indicate that you agree with the evaluation; you’re signing to indicate receipt of it. If that’s not clear from the form, it’s fine to write in “signing to acknowledge receipt only.”

Plus, she doesn’t need “proof” in the form of a written evaluation to later put you on a performance improvement plan. If she wants to do that, she can do it at any time.

Overall, it sounds like there are much bigger problems here anyway. You’re feeling adversarial and not trusting her, and you think a performance improvement plan is in your future — all signs that the relationship either needs dramatic repair and/or that you should be actively job searching.

5. Can we put interviewees to work to see how quickly they learn?

I have a question regarding my little 50-employee company. Our warehouse manager has interviewees come in to interview and also put them to work (unpaid) for 30 minutes to “see how quickly they learn and follow direction.” Is this legal?

Is it real work that the company then uses? If so, no, that’s not legal. People who do actual work that the company benefits from have to be paid. But if the work is being used strictly to assess their skills, that’s perfectly legal (and very commonplace).