Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My new employee lied on his resume

I joined my current company last year and was recently promoted from my former position (more IT-related) to managing another department. One of the team members in my new department expressed an interest in the role I was vacating. In the process of both interviewing him for my old position and having a general “get to know you” session, I discovered glaring errors on his resume. He has oversold his previous job experience, listed software and systems that he has no actual knowledge of, and when questioned directly about some parts of his resume (education, previous positions), he can’t even come up with a very good lie.

When I asked him why he seemed to have some discrepancies on his resume, he shrugged and told him that his brother had helped him write it.

I already know that this employee is not ranked very highly as a candidate for my previous position, but that means that he’ll be staying in my department. Do I address these lies on his resume? So far his work for the company is competent, if not particularly thrilling, and it’s certainly not his fault that his previous manager didn’t catch these issues when she was interviewing him for his original position. I would not want to punish him for lying on his resume (because I don’t feel his lies directly affect the quality of his current work), but I do want him to understand that this isn’t acceptable. What’s the best way to go about this?

Well, lying on a resume is a good reason for firing someone. He lied to get the job, and he didn’t even think it was a big deal when you talked to him about it. That says something pretty serious about his integrity and his trustworthiness. Are you going to trust this guy when it’s his word against a client’s, or when a story seems a bit off to you? I don’t see how you’ll ever be able to give him the benefit of the doubt, and that’s a huge problem.

But if you want to keep him, I’d sit him down for a very serious conversation and explain that he lied when applying to the company, that it’s a fireable offense at many companies, that you’ve considered whether that would be appropriate in this case, that it raises serious issues about integrity and your ability to trust him, and that you’re going to need to see impeccable integrity and ethics from him going forward. And then I’d keep an eagle eye on him for a long time, because I would bet money that you’ll uncover other ethical issues if you watch closely enough.

2. Calling your coworker “mom” — when she’s actually your mother

My coworker has a daughter who started working at the same company. They do not work in the same department nor have the same manager. Is it proper to have the daughter call her “mom”? It’s been said that this makes other workers feel uncomfortable when the daughter says, “I’ll ask my mom.” Instead, she was asked to call her by her first name or reference the department her mom works at instead.

Yeah, everywhere I’ve seen this done, the person used the parent’s first name while at work, so as to de-emphasize the parental/child relationship.

3. Are ponytails professional?

I am starting my first “real” job next week (which I credit to all of your interviewing tips! thank you!) and I’m at a bit of a loss on what to do with my hair. This seems silly, but all I have ever done with it was wear it in a ponytail. Every day. It is fairly long and really thick, so it tends to be a bit to handle. I thought about chopping it all off, but that tends to not do nice things for my face shape. Anyway, my actual question is: What are work appropriate ways to style your hair? Would it be strange for me to continue with my ponytail everyday, or is that seen as sloppy?

A ponytail is perfectly professional, although a low ponytail generally reads as more professional than a high one. You can also experiment with buns, clips, gibson tucks, and more.

4. Seeing a negative note about you — from your boss

A friend who relies on me for professional advice just called me in tears. She was called into her boss’s office to review some pictures (standard). As he was getting the right windows pulled up on his screen, her eyes fell to his desk, and right in front of her was a printed email that was from the CEO of the company. Her boss had highlighted it so it really stood out. She caught only a few words but essentially it was, “since [friend]’s predecessor has left, the writing is suffering, the photo selection is suffering…. blah blah blah [friend] is doing a bad job.”

Should she confront her supervisor or just sit on this?

Confront? No. But she should take this as a sign that she should be asking for feedback about how she’s doing and whether there are things he’d like to see her doing differently. And really, if that email reflects his assessment, it’s good for her to realize it, hard as I’m sure it must have been to see.

5. Did this insurance agent over-step boundaries?

In my new job, I have replaced the old contact point for our insurance company. Sometimes our contracts require revisions or additional coverage, so I have to stay in touch with our insurance agents. I reached out to the agent and asked him to email me a copy of the policy. When he did, he made a point to ask about whether I had or wanted him to review my life insurance, home owners, and auto insurance policies — my personal policies. I was really skeeved out by this and didn’t answer, but I have to work with the guy. Should I just ignore it? Or let him know I thought that was unprofessional and inappropriate thing to do with a professional contact? It has really colored my perception of him and my desire to trust him, which is problematic.

Eh, I wouldn’t have been crazy about it either, but I don’t think it’s a huge deal unless he keeps pushing it. He asked, you said no, and if that’s the end of it, I wouldn’t let it bother you too much.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Committing to a start date before the background check is done

I’m well aware it’s common practice for employers to want a start date nailed down before the background has cleared, but why?! I know you’ll say this is a red flag, but it’s so common. I’ve done it before with previous job changes but I’m just not comfortable this time around, even though my background will run squeeky clean.

I’ve recently been offered a new position I am super excited about with a great company. When working with the recruiter to accept my offer and make some negotiations, etc., she was taken back a little that I was insistent that I needed to wait for background to clear before I put in my 2 weeks. It sounds like people don’t request that often from her.

What’s the deal? Why do employers keep doing this? And why do new hires just keep letting them? I realize it delays filling the position which isn’t great for them, but in the big picture it’s our livelihood. In the end the recruiter is allowing this, but I can’t help that I’m annoying them with such a request.

They do it because they see the background check as a rubber stamp and assume that it will come back fine, and — particularly annoyingly — that the only people who need to worry about it are the people with reason to fear that they won’t pass the background check. But of course, sometimes people don’t pass, and sometimes it’s for good reason and other times it’s not. Regardless, though, it’s not at all unreasonable to decline to quit your job until they remove the background contingency from their offer. When they’re ready to commit to you, you’ll commit to them. Good for you for holding firm on that.

2. Can I forward praise of me to my boss?

I’ve been at my job for 8 months now, and it’s been a steep learning curve, learning completely different processes than what I’ve been used to. I’ve had admin assistant jobs for the last 10 years, but this job is basically acting as a PA for about 20 or so consultants. I’ve encountered some hiccups since I started; some were my fault and some were things out of my hands. I’ve put my hands up and admitted they were my fault when they happened and worked on improving the processes to stop them from happening again.

Luckily, I have an extremely supportive boss who has helped me learn, and also helped me with this small issues and is happy with my progress, and I haven’t had any issues in a couple of months and have really settled into my work now. Recently I’ve received a couple of really nice praise emails thanking me from the consultants I support. Is it okay to forward these on to my boss to make her aware of the good things I’ve done, rather than her just seeing the negative?

I am not seeking out a pat on the back from her, but these things I’ve helped on have been big, complex, last-minute trips and she was unlikely to have these consultants loop her in on positive feedback as they’re so busy. I don’t want to come across as insecure in my abilities, but I’d like her to also see that I’ve done a lot of positive things too.

Yep, absolutely. Don’t forward minor praise (like a quick “thanks for your help”), but when people go out of their way to praise your work in a more substantive way, it’s perfectly appropriate to share that with your boss. I’d just forward it on with a note like “Just FYI, thought you’d want to see this” or “here’s a nice note from Jane!”

3. Should I reach out to a hiring manager before applying for a job?

I am currently freelancing, but I am considering looking to join a company to have a bit more stability and benefits over the next few years. I am not actively searching for a new role, but a company I really admire and like to work for is hiring for a position that sounds perfect for me. In researching the company, I found that one of the cofounders (who would also be the head of the department I am applying for) and I share a few interests that we both blog about. I am considering trying to connect with him on LinkedIn sending a personal message about our shared interests and my desire to work at the company. In addition to this, the job description is fairly vague and I was considering contacting someone from the company to get a better idea of what the role would entail and what goals they are trying to achieve with the position (it is a new position). However, I don’t want to come off as pushy or overbearing. So my question to you is, do I:

a) Send a LinkedIn connection to the manager at the company with a personal message about our shared interests, while also expressing my interest in applying for the position at the company. Once (if) he accepts, consider asking for an informational interview.
b) Ask directly for an informational interview by emailing the hiring team.
c) Do nothing and just send in the best application I can.

I think it’s also worth noting that the company is very big on candidates being a good fit with the company culture, which was why I was so excited about our shared interests.

Just apply the normal way. If you weren’t applying for a job right now, it would be fine to reach out to him with a message about your shared interests, but when you’re also applying for a job, it’s going to look like you’re just trying to circumvent their normal application process, and most people get annoyed by that.

Don’t ask for an informational interview (same reason as above). And don’t contact anyone there with questions about the role and its goals before you apply; that usually comes off as wasting their time on questions that are better discussed in the interview, if they decide to offer you one.

Just apply and see what happens. (And if it ends up not going anywhere, you can always reach out to the cofounder afterwards and network with him, and that might set up in a stronger position the next time they have an opening. But you can’t do that until this process is over, or it’ll look insincere.)

4. Should I ask for an on-the-spot interview at a store event?

I shop at Sephora a lot, and I’ve ended up become well-acquainted with one of the sales associates. (I’d say friends, but I don’t want to be too forward, since generally we all have to be extra nice in customer service positions.) I asked her about openings and she seemed really excited to tell me they were hiring currently. She talked to her supervisor, who said I should apply online that night (which I did) and had me put her name down in the employee referral spot on the app.

There’s a special event before the rest of the mall opens this Sunday and that sales associate and the main manager will both be there. She said that she would introduce me to the manager, and I was hoping I could ask for an interview. Would that be too forward? I don’t want to just ask for them to pull my application because I haven’t had a job for over a year, I quit it without notice, and it was just Subway.

I really, really want this job. It’s the only job I’m applying to, even if I don’t get it. I don’t necessarily need work, and I’m currently in school. Since I take a lot of online courses, my schedule is pretty open and I’d like something to fill the time. I know this job would be a great fit for me. I’m applying as a cashier, which is one thing I felt I really excelled at while I worked at Subway, I love the employees at this particular Sephora, and I’m really passionate about makeup and sharing products that I love with people.

How can I make a good impression on this manager? Would it be wise to come prepared for an impromptu interview if they happen to offer or accept my request on the spot? Is that common? Would it be a weird to bring a folder with a copy of my resume, references, and maybe a cover letter? I planned to dress similarly to their uniform, full face of makeup, a dress, leggings, and stylish flats, to maybe look like I would “fit the part,” but not be out of place and -too- dressy if nothing came of it.

I wouldn’t ask for an interview on the spot, but I would say this: “Jane told me that you’re currently hiring and I’d love to talk with you about that at some point. I’ve submitted an application online and would love to work here!”

I would then be prepared to be interviewed on the spot in case she offers it, but don’t go in expecting it. But prepared means that yes, coming with a copy of your resume would be great to do. A cover letter isn’t necessary in this context but would probably make a great impression if it’s a good one, and the same goes for a reference list. Good luck.

5. A shower guest asked where her thank-you is

I am insulted that I have been asked by a guest if I sent out a thank-you note from my wedding shower. Is it wrong to feel this way? I feel it to be rude, as I have been sending them out as time goes on. It’s been three months since the shower. I have 150 handwritten thank-you’s to write. Do you find it rude that a person should be asking why she hasn’t received it yet? Is that really the reason why someone should give a gift so she receives a thank you?

This isn’t a workplace question, but it’s Saturday so what the hell, I’ll answer it.

Etiquette experts seem to agree that you should send thank-yous for wedding showers within two to three weeks. So yeah, you’re late.

If your guest asked where her note was, that’s not terribly polite either. Any chance that she’s feeling unappreciated for other reasons? It sounds like the kind of remark someone might make if they thought they saw a pattern of apparent ingratitude or self-centeredness. I have no idea if that’s the case here and I’m not accusing you of that, but it’s worth considering whether there could be something like that going on. Either way, I’d get her note in the mail immediately.

And no, it’s not about giving a gift in order to receive a note, but rather that people want to feel that you cared about them and their gift and it wasn’t just one in a pile that you simply accepted as your due. This person is telling you that she currently feels unappreciated.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I was interviewed by the person I’d be replacing

I have had several interviews where the interviewer themselves told me that they have submitted their resignation, and that they are interviewing me as their replacement. It happened to me more than once that the interviewer even said it was their last day at the company. Isn’t that awkward to share during an interview? Sometimes the person who is leaving interviews me alone, other times with a panel.

First, I don’t think they would hire carefully, because why should they care since they are leaving? Second, it makes me want to ask why they are leaving and it definitely gives me a red flag. Interviews are partly about selling the company to the applicant to want to work for them, so it certainly makes me think twice about working there. I will appreciate some insight into this.

It’s not a red flag that they’re leaving. People leave companies; after all, that’s usually why there’s an open position for you to interview for. And it’s not unusual to have a departing employee help interview for their replacement, depending on the role. If they’re conscientious before they resign, they’re not going to suddenly become unconscientious afterward. Most conscientious people care a lot about finding someone good to replace them.

The only thing that would worry me is if this is the only person you’re getting a chance to talk with. You’d want to be able to meet and talk with your prospective new manager, at a minimum.

2. Employee’s wife keeps causing a commotion at our workplace

An employee’s wife has been coming up to our workplace for over a year and causing a distraction. In most of the events that have take place, the police have come out to remove her from the property. I feel that the employee and his wife are a threat to the other employees who work here. If she were to go crazy, then all of our lives are in danger. Management is aware of the situation and has done nothing but talk to employee about the situation. What can be done?

Well, if your management isn’t willing to take any action, there’s not much you can do. You can certainly press them, ideally as a group — saying something like, “We’re uncomfortable with Cecil’s wife continually coming here and causing disruption. We feel unsafe, and we’d like you to ensure she’s no longer allowed on the property.” But ultimately, it’s their call. It’s pretty weird that they haven’t already taken steps to deal with this though. Who wants their business disrupted all the time like that?

3. My boss takes weeks to approve my vacation requests

I work at a very small college in a very small office (2 full-time professionals, 2 graduate assistants). I am one of the two full-time professionals, and the other full-time guy is my supervisor. We don’t have an admin assistant, so office coverage is very important in our office. Often, my supervisor will take days off (either for personal reasons or for his second job) and inform me the day before so that I know I’ll essentially be in the office alone (GAs work 20 hours a week). Sometimes he just leaves early for the day, other times he’ll be gone for 2-3 days at a time.

Whenever I ask for time off, he delays answering me for days or weeks. Today, his reason for not giving me an answer was “I’m in a bad mood.” I’ve successfully taken off a total of 1-1/2 days between October and now (April), so it’s not a matter of not having vacation time or constantly taking days off. It’s pretty much a given that if I ask for time off, he’ll avoid answering me until the week of, after I’ve asked at least 3 times. For the most part, there isn’t a reason why I wouldn’t be able to go on vacation on a certain day. I line my ducks in a row before I even ask for the day off.

Would it be out of line to go to his supervisor to ask for days off after I’ve asked him and he’s avoided giving me a straightforward answer? I would like to plan travel ahead of time, but my supervisor makes that pretty much impossible.

Try this first: “Bob, I’m having trouble using my vacation days because of the delay between when I ask and when you respond. I need to be able to plan so that I’m able to use this part of my benefit package. What can I do to get answers from you more quickly? Is it better to ask in person or submit the request differently in some way?”

If that doesn’t work, whether or not to go over his head depends on the dynamics there. Some managers would absolutely want to know that a manager under them was doing this; others would consider it a breach of chain of command. You really need to know the players to answer this one.

4. Is this contracting arrangement fair?

I am currently a contractor doing web development work. I have been in this position for over two years now. I recently found out that the contractors who got me my position are making money off of my hours. The way it works is the company we are working for pays the two of them all the of our salaries and the two contractors pay me a direct deposit, keeping portion a portion of it. The portion that I receive is what I asked for, but they negotiated a higher rate for me and kept the difference. They have an LLC, but they do the same work as me for the most part.

This is actually pretty much how contracting works: They’ve taken on the hassles and burdens of finding a worker (you), paying you, and handling the administrative load of employing you. In return, they charge the employer a fee for doing that. The employer almost certainly assumes that this is happening, because it’s standard in contracting.

5. I leave expert answers on Quora — should I link to them from my resume?

One of the better things to come out of the Web 2.0 movement are question and answer forums, where users ask questions and experts on the subject chime in, and the community votes on the best answer, comments are posted, etc.

Quora is one of these sites. Its focus is giving users direct access to not just industry experts, but industry leaders. Sites like these are geared towards professionals being “answerers” and as such, present a unique opportunity for professionals to publicly display their knowledge, attitude, and prose in a way that potential employers can see.

Given that, what would be the best way (if at all) to include a little pointer on a resume showing to the reader that a feed of one’s relevant knowledge is available at their Quora (or similar site) profile? How would this look to a hiring manager? When flooded with applicants, would the profile even get read?

Interesting. I could see possibly including a line like “frequently share expertise on X and Y in the Z forum at Quora” with a link, if indeed you do have a significant number of answers there and they’re all well-done. (You’re going to be judged on what’s there, so if anything there isn’t impressive, I wouldn’t do it.) But I could also see some hiring managers thinking that it’s more like Yahoo Answers and thinking it’s a questionable use of time. So I’m honestly not sure. What do others think?