Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Bathroom breaks right after regular breaks

Is there a diplomatic way to ask an employee to use the washroom on appointed break times as opposed to going during working time (which seems to be a regular schedule of immediately after the break, daily)? I feel like there is a lot of wasted time with the transition of getting back into work. I realize I can not dictate when a person has to use the washroom but this regular schedule which makes her breaks much longer then others is getting a bit out of hand.

In general, you should stay away from managing when or how often people go to the bathroom, unless it’s significantly interfering with the work (and then you’d want to prepare for the possibility that it’s a situation where you might need to consider medical accommodations).

And if we’re just talking about a couple of minutes, in most contexts it would be petty to track this or address it.

But if it’s a situation where someone has a scheduled break for a specific amount of time and is lengthening it by tacking on a bathroom break of significant length at the end of it, it’s not unreasonable to say, “Can you plan ahead so that you’re back at your desk and ready to work when your break ends, meaning that you’ve finished eating, used the bathroom, and taken care of any other non-work items by 2:30 (or whatever)?”

More importantly, though, I’d look at the rest of her work. When this sort of thing bothers managers, it’s often because it’s paired with other work issues — and if so, that should be your bigger focus. And of course, if the rest of her work is great, you should ignore her bathroom schedule unless it’s truly impacting the work in some way.

2. Can I ask to room with my fiance at an upcoming work trip?

This question is very hypothetical, since my fiancee is currently temping at my workplace, although she’s going to be interviewed for a permanent position this week.

In the next few weeks, we’re likely to need to make roommate arrangements for an upcoming 2-day event that my company puts on every year. All employees are strongly encouraged, although not required, to attend, and everyone at my level will be sharing a hotel room. I know that it’s fairly common to room with coworkers in other departments, as my fiancee would be if she was hired, and we are the same gender, which is also required.

We keep things pretty professional, but friendly in the office, and usually only cross paths when we come in in the morning and leave at night. (This is an almost aggressively casual office though, so we also try not to stick out too much by being overly formal with each other.) I’m afraid that asking to room with her (if she gets the job, big if still, I know!) would harm the image we’ve created for ourselves, even though it would only affect our non-working time. What do you think?

I don’t see why not. I’m assuming that people at work will know about your relationship, or at least that you’re not planning to hide it, since professionalism doesn’t require that you go so far as to deny that a relationship exists when one does. Given that, it would probably be weirder if you didn’t room together.

The only wrinkle I can see here is that she might not be hired by the time rooming assignments are being coordinated, but you can cross that bridge if/when you come to it.

3. Should I be paid like my manager when I fill in for her?

My question is about pay and responsibilities. My boss often takes time off and I have to fulfill her duties when she is out. Shouldn’t I get paid her rate of pay when I have to do her job?

No, that’s not typically the way it works. Your manager gets a higher wage because she has higher-level responsibilities all the time, not just sometimes. Also, when you fill in for her, you’re presumably filling in only on the day-to-day work for that period, but not for the longer-range responsibilities that come with managing (like setting long-term goals, creating strategies to meet them, developing staff members, giving feedback, addressing performance issues, hiring a strong team, and so forth).

4. The person who referred me for a job was arrested and fired

A few months ago, I interviewed for a position and was later given the impression by the hiring manager that an offer would be extended shortly. Several questions were asked about my availability, possible start date, etc. Then nothing happened. I followed up but never heard back. I found out about this position through a friend of my sister’s who I happened to work with years ago though in a completely different capacity. I know she was really pushing for me to get the job as she was essentially a one-woman team and adding me would’ve helped her tremendously. At the time, she told my sister that they decided to fill the position in another location and she was later fired for refusing to relocate.

I always thought something was fishy about the story but was forced to accept that nothing was going to come of that opportunity. I recently learned the truth about what happened. The person who referred me was terminated from the company after they found out she had been arrested. Apparently a bail bondsman called to verify employment and the rest is history. I’m not sure if the arrest was the sole reason for her dismissal or if they found out what led to the arrest (theft from her previous employer). Regardless of the reason, I’m sure it tainted the referral and I believe that’s why I didn’t hear back from them.

I’m wondering if there is any way I can persuade them to still consider me. I’ve never been arrested or stolen from a previous employer. I would easily pass a background check and have strong professional referrals. Normally I wouldn’t give this much consideration but I’ve been underemployed for over a year and am very unhappy in my current role. Working there would’ve allowed me to earn more money and get back on track professionally. I’ve not had a job lead that strong in a while and that’s why I’m wondering if there is anyway this can be salvaged. Also, they are still looking to hire someone for that role – not sure if its the one I initially interviewed for or if this is to replace the person that was terminated.

I have no idea whether you’re tainted in their minds because of who referred you or not, but there’s no reason that you can’t try applying again and see what happens.

That said, it sounds like you’re putting a lot of mental eggs in this basket and it’s generally a bad idea to do that. Even with a strong referral, anyone’s chances of getting any one particular job are low — so make sure you’re not getting too mentally attached to this role and are looking vigorously in other places.

5. Backing out of a job I’ve already accepted

I am set to start work in one week. I verbally agreed to take the job a couple of weeks ago and have discussed start times and dates but still have not received an official job offer letter. I am returning to the same company but a new position after a one year maternity leave. After a recent discussion with my husband, I really want to back out of this offer as I am hoping to take clients privately in a much more part-time capacity. My job is full-time with summers off.

Can I back out now or do I need to work an acceptable amount of time before quitting? I could work for three months and then give my notice as I don’t work for July and August anyway so I wouldn’t be leaving them in the lurch. Any advice would be appreciated.

It would be far better to back out now than to let them train you, work a few months, and then quit. Don’t let them invest time and resources in you if you know you’re going to spring a resignation on them in a few months. Tell them now.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Can I ask my resigning coworker how much she was getting paid?

I work in a small office of a multi-national company. We only have one office and fewer than 10 employees here in the States. I wasn’t able to find a coherent salary range since I haven’t been able to find a benchmark-able company and job title that’s similar to mine. I have been dissatisfied with my salary and wanted a raise. I’ve recently been offered a transfer to a more lucrative role but was told that my salary will stay the same until later this year when my performance can be evaluated.

I found out that a colleague of mine has resgined. She has been through a similar career path as I did. We both came into the company with no knowledge of this industry. We both started and the same position and later transferred to the other. I can’t resist my curiosity wanting to ask her if she’d comfortable sharing her salary range and change with me.

I understand it’s definitely weird to ask your current colleague about their salary, but is it okay if they are leaving? How would you suggest me to approach this?

Actually, talking to colleagues about their salary can be an excellent way to get insight into your company’s pay structure, and especially to sniff out pay equity problems (like a tendency to pay people in demographic group A more than people in demographic group B who are doing the same work and performing at the same level).

It’s complicated, though, by the fact that so many people feel awkward talking about pay and often find direct questions about it to be intrusive. One way to get around that is to say something like, “I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting a sense of the company’s salary range for positions like mine. Do you have a sense of the range you’d expect for my current role?” People who are comfortable sharing their own salary info will often do so in response to that kind of query, whereas people who prefer to keep it quiet can do that pretty easily too.

By the way, while we’re on the subject, it’s worth noting that many companies have policies that prohibit discussing pay with coworkers — and these policies are generally illegal, since the National Labor Relations Act forbids employers from preventing employees from discussing pay with each other. Interestingly, it’s one of the most frequently violated labor laws out there.

2. My boss is borrowing money from employees, who then become his favorites

My boss and I are restaurant managers. We are constantly in conflict, due to our differing management styles (his is unprofessional). His boss was recently called to mediate our disputes. It did not go well. Now, have learned that my boss is borrowing large sums of money from our hourly employees. Those hourly employees then become his “favorites” and receive preferential treatment. If I go to his boss now, I might look like a backstabbing trouble maker. Regardless, this issue has potential to harm the business. Do I tell his boss or just suck it up and keep looking for other work?

That’s horrible, and yes, you should raise it. Be factual and don’t add editorial comment; just report what you know to be the case. You should also seriously think about looking for a different job because working with a boss like this is generally really bad for your quality of life, as well as your career.

3. Letting candidates know our hiring process is still moving

How would you formulate a response a job candidate’s resume is still under review so the candidate doesn’t think we went dark? We typically do a brief phone screen, administer a questionnaire for them to complete, and then share their info at that point with the team. The next step in the process would bring them to an on-site interview, should we want to move forward. So how would you convey that to the candidate? Do you ask them to tell you should they be moving faster towards an offer with other employers at this time?

Once they return the questionnaire, I’d send a form email that says something like, “Thanks so much for completing this. We’ll be reviewing candidates and will be in touch soon.” If it’s likely to be a long time they hear back, I’d change “soon” to “X week” or “August” or whatever it’s likely to be.

And if there’s a candidate who you’re particularly interested in at this stage, I’d expedite them so they’re not left hanging. If that’s not possible, then I’d reach out to them and say, “It’s likely to be X weeks before we’re able to schedule in-person interviews, but we consider you a particularly strong candidate and are really looking forward to talking at that stage. If you have any timeline constraints on your end, please let me know.”

But in general, strive to move from one hiring stage to the next fairly quickly, or you will risk losing good candidates. Also, there’s no reason that you have to move everyone along as a group — you can interview people on a rolling basis.

4. Should I get a back-dated bonus?

Do I have grounds for a back-dated bonus? I was recently promoted to lead a team and was offered a bonus package as part of the promotion, which I previously haven’t received. On being promoted, I have found out that my former colleague, who now reports to me, has been receiving a bonus. We were essentially doing the same role in different regions, but while he was receiving a bonus, I wasn’t.

Naturally I feel quite demoralized by this and want to know what my options are. This is slightly complicated by the fact that my existing boss who promoted me has left and I am waiting for a new manager to come on board.

There are all sorts of reasons why people’s compensation might differ, including on things like whether someone gets a bonus or not — factors like performance, difficulty of the work or region they’re responsible for, better negotiating when hired, tighter job marker when hired, and more. Asking for a back-dated bonus for work you’ve already performed under a different agreement wouldn’t reflect well on you, is unlikely to happen, and risks making your employer worry about your judgment, which is not what you want right after being promoted to a management role, let alone when you’re about to get a new boss who doesn’t know anything else about you.

5. Other advice blogs

I am an avid reader of your blog and love your posts, advice, and overall management style. Are there any blogs that you read on a regular basis that are HR or business related that you suggest reading?

Evil HR Lady is excellent and should be on your daily reading list. Carolyn Hax does life advice rather than workplace advice, but the former often translates to the latter. Harvard Business Review is good too. And The Management Center does a great monthly email with really useful resources for managers (full disclosure: they’re a client and I usually co-write that email).

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. A work mailbox cleaned out without warning

Today my husband came to work to discover his cubby-style mailbox had been cleaned out and his name tag removed. His job requires him to be on the road part of the time, and this morning he had to depart before anyone else had arrived to keep on his schedule, so he did not have time to locate his items. There were several confidential documents from the company in the box (his pay documents are left there for him), as well as some personal effects: his coffee mug and key chain (things generally acceptable to keep there).

He was not asked to remove his items, nor informed that they would be removed; he simply came in and they were gone. Unfortunately, he was detained on business long after everyone had departed for the day; when he had the time to look, he found his things on a file cabinet in a somewhat public area where, where for all he knew, they could have been since Friday. Thankfully no one was around, so this letter isn’t to ask how to apologize (and he’s pretty sure they didn’t fire him without telling him).

We are discussing this because we both agree if he has a plan, then he is less likely to go off the cuff. Unfortunately I do not personally believe this an innocent oversight (though he will play it off as one if necessary). Due to other circumstances, I am more inclined to suspect unconcerned neglect; if so, it wouldn’t be the first time. My husband is a bit incensed, and neither of us think he should let this go without inquiry, if only because something could have gone missing or been broken as it was handled. What do you advise? (Rest assured I have no intention of interfering or acting in anyway myself, lest anyone think this is my plan. It’s just that we would both rest easier if he had a good way to address this, and an idea of who he should be addressing it to.)

It’s certainly reasonable for him to ask why his mailbox was cleaned out and his name tag removed from it, and he should ask whoever the most logical person is (the office admin or whoever oversees the mailboxes). And he can point out that there were confidential materials such as pay documents in there and ask that it be handled differently if items need to be moved in the future.

But being incensed seems very of out of place here. I mean, yes, it’s not great to have your space cleaned out without anyone warning you it’s going to happen or telling you why or even telling you where to find your relocated stuff — but sometimes this kind of thing happens, and it’s rarely intended as a slight. It’s the kind of thing that can happen as a matter of course in an office, and people generally just roll with it. Being angry over it would almost certainly come across as an overreaction.

It sounds like maybe he’s feeling disrespected for other reasons, but I’d focus on sorting those out and don’t let the mailbox thing become a big deal.

2. I’ve been asked to train another manager, but she won’t meet with me

My director asked me to work with a newer manager on our team to improve her reports and time management. The manager is aware of this request. I’ve tried repeatedly to schedule a time to sit down with her, but she has declined each time, saying she is too busy. There is another manager, on a different team, that she often goes to for advice, and I think she is just more comfortable with that person.

Should I tell my director or keep reaching out to the manager?

Tell your director, because she needs to be aware that the thing she’s asked you to do (and maybe assumes is happening) isn’t happening, through no fault of your own, and she needs to know that if she wants it to happen, she’s apparently going to need to make that clearer to your coworker. I’d say something like this: “I’ve tried repeatedly to schedule time with Jane, but each time she’s said she’s too busy. If you definitely want me to work with her, I think you’ll need to specifically ask her to make the time.”

3. My hostile colleague says that I now report to him

I’ve been working at my current job since June 2013. It’s an unorganized media company, but in my offer letter it said that I reported to the head of production. Now, in March 2015, I was told by a hostile colleague that I report to him and to do my review (our first time doing reviews).

I’m upset by how it was handled, and, was wondering if there is anything in labor law about notifying the employee about a change in line of management, and, to be told that the day of the review seems not quite right.

Nope, the law does not have any stance about who you report to or whether it changes without notification. (The law doesn’t really care about workplace unfairness, as a rule, unless it’s based on you race, religion, sex, national origin, disability, or a small number of other protected characteristics, or if it’s retaliation for engaging in legally protected behavior.)

However, it’s bizarre to change who you report to without telling you. (Although I suppose you were in fact told — by the hostile colleague.) I’d go back to the person you’ve been reporting to up until now and say, “Rupert told me that I’m reporting to him now, but that’s the first I’d heard of it. Can you tell me a bit more about what’s going on?”

4. Is it okay to still wear a suit when my interviewer told me the interview is business casual?

I’ve got an interview on Monday and the company just sent me a document saying that the dress code for the interview is “business casual.” I always wear skirt suits to interviews, so would it be a faux pas to wear that when I am explicitly told it’s business casual? If so, would pants and a more casual blazer be acceptable?

Since they explicitly told you business casual, I’d go with business casual. Many employers would be fine with you still turning up in a suit, but some would wonder why you ignored clear information, and you risk looking like a culture mismatch. Pants and a casual blazer would be perfect.

(And more on the entire topic of what to wear to interviews next week!)

5. Am I a back-up candidate?

I interviewed for a position two weeks ago, and yesterday I received an email from the HR manager asking me if I’m still interested in the position and/or if I had accepted another offer. Am I a back up candidate?

There’s no way to know. You might be a back-up candidate or you might be the top candidate or they might not have even selected finalists yet. All this means is that they’re checking to make sure you’re still a candidate at all — that’s it.