Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I’m missing my bus waiting for my manager at the end of the work day

I work every day from 9-5:30 for a small company. At 5:30, we all leave together. The problem is that my boss is never ready at 5:30. She takes her time getting ready and we don’t end up leaving until 5:40-5:45. I don’t get paid for the extra 10-15 minutes waiting around, but I wait around to carry her bags to be nice. But now I have to take the bus home, and because she’s not ready at 5:30, I miss my bus and the next one doesn’t come until 6:05.

I want to leave at 5:30, but I’m sure she’s going to have a problem with it because she always makes little comments when one of us leaves on time. If I tell her I need to leave at 5:30, on time, can she say no or fire me if I do?

I think it’s fairly unlikely that she’s going to refuse to let you leave earlier or fire you over this. Just say, “I’ve been missing the bus lately, so I need to start leaving right at 5:30. I’m heading out now, and will you see you all tomorrow!”

If she does tell you that you can’t leave until later, then she’s telling you that your work day doesn’t actually end at 5:30; it ends at 5:45 — and if you’re non-exempt, you’d need to be paid for that time. But it doesn’t sound like that’s really the case; it sounds like an informal habit has developed where she assumes you’ll wait for her just to be polite, not because it’s the kind of strict job requirement where she’d need to be paying you. Explain you can’t wait around because of your bus and assume it will be fine, because it probably will be.

2. When I list off my work, my manager always asks, “Anything else?”

The manager of my sales team requires us to read off our planned appointments for the week each Monday morning, plus a few other items. At the conclusion of our statement, when it’s completely obvious the entire statement is completed, he asked “Anything else?” *every* time.

Coming from him, it has a tone suggesting insufficiency, which is really annoying. Each person then has to then answer “Yes, that’s everything,” or some variation.

Is there another way to answer that question to communicate more confidence, or to deflect the negativity?

It’s possible that he’s implying your list isn’t sufficient, but it’s also possible (and maybe more likely) that he’s just asking “anything else?” as a transition to move on to the next person. I’d just answer it matter-of-factly and with confidence (“Yes, that’s everything!”) and not let it rattle you.

If you get the sense that he has concerns about your productivity from other things, you could address that head-on by asking him about it directly: “When I share my plans for the week, is it about in line with what you’d expect, or do you want me to doing anything differently?” But absent that, I’d assume this is just his repetitive way of moving to the next person, and that you shouldn’t read anything into it.

3. My husband’s new employee is being inappropriate with him

My husband manages a small business and this weekend there was an expo where his business had a booth. One of the employees working the booth is new to the company (two weeks). Her supervisor reports directly to my spouse. Yesterday we ran up there to bring more advertising materials, and my husband introduced me. She ignored him the first two times, and finally on the third she said “hey.” It seemed odd to me, but considering that her job responsibilities don’t require much skill, I chalked it up to her being young and not having professional business manners.

But when we went today, she ran up to my husband and put her hand up his shirt sleeve and held it there for him to feel how cold her hands were. I was glaring at her and she was looking right at me. My husband froze and was looking at me like he didn’t know what to do. It was incredibly inappropriate and very uncomfortable. In all my experience as a manager, I have never encountered something like this, much less as a wife. My initial reaction is that my husband should terminate her. Do you think that I am overreacting?

I’d also like to add I have no doubts that my husband is faithful, and I have no intention of directly confronting this employee, but my husband and I constantly bounce ideas off each other and he really has been at a loss on how to handle this. I want to make sure that my thoughts are not based in emotions.

Yes, she sounds like she’s being inappropriate.

Just to be clear: This is really for your husband to handle himself. She’s his employee, and he’s the one who needs to set boundaries with her. (I think you’re saying that you know that already, so this is just to reinforce that.)

Firing her over this seems pretty extreme to me, when this kind of thing can usually be handled in a far less severe manner. Sometimes managers can correct this kind of thing just by how they react in the moment (for instance, your husband could quickly move away if she touches him) and by modeling boundaries and being extra professional in their interactions. Other times, it might take direct conversation about what is and isn’t appropriate.

On your side, I’d cut out the glaring if you encounter her again; if this woman really does want to flirt with your husband, you’ll come across far better if you don’t appear threatened by it or like you’re engaging in battle with her. Be above it, and let your husband handle it.

4. I missed a week of work during the first month of my internship

I just started working as an intern in January. I really like the company and the work they do, and I was hoping that after my 8 months of internship I might get a full-time position there after I graduate. However, in the first month I’ve worked, I had to take 5 days off because I was really sick. I don’t get sick days or vacation days since I’m still a student, so I don’t get paid for the 5 days I took off. My manager noticed this and pulled me aside and told me that I was missing too many days of work. He told me that I’m doing a great job, but that he is expecting me to be there at all times. I understand where he is coming from and I felt really bad and guilty that I had to take those days off even though I wasn’t feeling well.

Now I’m scared that I’ve made a bad impression and I’m worried that it will affect his decision when I do ask him for a full-time opportunity later on. Do you think I still have a shot at a full-time position?? Or I shouldn’t even bother asking since i’ve screwed up?

It’s tough to miss five days during your first month; it’s a time when you’re not yet a known quantity, and so employers worry about whether this was a legitimate and unusual thing for you or whether it’s a sign about your reliability. And it’s even more concerning when you’re a new intern, because employers know that some interns haven’t yet figured out workplace expectations yet and don’t quite realize that “show up every day” really does mean “show up every day.”

But reasonable employers also know that sometimes shit happens, and sometimes it has the bad timing to strike during your first month. That means that if you prove yourself to be hard-working and reliable going forward, that should be what counts, not the time you got sick for a week right after starting. (I don’t mean to imply that getting sick means that your’e not hard-working and reliable — just that employers don’t know one way or the other when you’re new, until you show them.)

That said, internships are never guaranteed to turn into full-time jobs, no matter how well you do (unless you have an explicit agreement to the contrary), so don’t look at it as something that should happen if the internship goes well. Even if it doesn’t happen, there are all sorts of other things it can lead to, from the experience itself, references, networking, and so forth.

5. I was supposed to get a job offer, but the employer isn’t returning my calls

I went for a job interview three weeks ago. I then received a phone call from the employer; the HR manager left me a message indicating she was done with all the interview process and that she had exciting news for me regarding a potential job offer and to return her call. This was three days ago. So far, I have left her two voicemails since I’m so eager to hear about this job offer! She has not returned my calls. Is it a good idea to send an email to the HR manager as follow-up, since I’m not sure why I’m not getting a call back?

I’m so eager to hear about this job, and I don’t want to accept another job offer if her voicemail indicated that she has a potential job offer for me.

It’s reasonable to wait a few more days and then follow up one more time by email, but then I’d move on. It’s really in her court, and if she’s not getting back to you, there’s a reason for it — she’s on vacation or out sick or the hiring process has gotten hung up in some way or they’re going with another candidate or who knows what. But I can promise you that it’s not that she wants to make you a job offer but won’t remember that unless you contact her; when employers want to hire someone, it doesn’t slip their mind.

Sometimes job offers seem like they’re about to burst into being, only to then fizzle out. That’s true even when an employer says things like “I want to talk to you about an offer.” Sometimes they just don’t come to fruition. And yes, a polite employer will get back to you and tell you that, but this one isn’t doing that — so all you can do is make one final attempt and then move on.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss wants people to work late for no reason

My boss has told my two salaried coworkers on more than one occasion that she wants to see them working late more often (like she does), even while admitting that they get everything done on time and their work is excellent. The other day she said to me that she believes as a matter of principle that salaried employees should work more than 40 hours a week. I didn’t know how to respond. What would you say to that?

“What I’m concerned about is what results people are getting. I’d hate to think staying late mattered more than my actual contributions. My impression was that you’re happy with the results I’m getting. Am I mistaken? Do you have concerns about my work?”

That said, if she really believes this as a matter of principle, you might always be fighting against that bias in her. You’d want to watch carefully to see how it plays out: Does she just say annoying things about it, or are you actually penalized for it? If it’s the latter, you’d need to decide whether to accept that you’ll be paying that penalty, or occasionally play along to humor her, or go somewhere that doesn’t feel that way.

2. International team-building events where spouses aren’t invited

What is your feeling on out-of-country “team building” where spouses are not invited? Especially all inclusive resorts.

My feeling is that most team-building events are lame, but if you’re going to have them at all, it definitely makes sense not to have spouses there. If you’re team-buildling, you want everyone’s focus on the team, not on people who don’t work there.

3. My manager shares people’s personal medical info at our daily meetings

Our small company has a daily meeting that lasts for about 20 to 30 minutes. My manager has a habit of informing everyone in attendance who has called to say they would not be in for the day and why. Sometimes the reasons are medical. I find this disturbing. I had an accident that had me out of work for 2 days and was told by some in attendance that the reason for my absence was divulged. Is this legal? Does this fall under HIPAA?

It’s going to be legal in the majority of cases. HIPAA restricts what info health care workers can share; it doesn’t apply to employers. That said, sharing employees’ medical info without their permission still isn’t a good idea.

I’d say this to your manager: “I’m uncomfortable having people’s medical info shared with everyone else without their explicit okay. I can imagine a situation where someone really might not appreciate that being shared with the whole group. Do you think we could simply share who will be out without getting into details that might be personal?”

4. Interviewing when covered in skateboarding scrapes

I skateboard recreationally and was recently involved in a minor accident. No serious injuries, just superficial scrapes. However, some of these scrapes are on the palms of my hands and (as luck would have it) my forehead. They are impossible to cover with makeup or carefully styled bangs, and I have a promising interview approaching rapidly. I would reschedule, but these scratches will take a couple weeks to fully disappear, and I fear the worst that comes with postponing an interview longer than a few days. There really isn’t any way to get around having these scrapes.

What do you think would be the best way to reassure my interviewers about my appearance? Should I make the nature of my injuries clear to my interviewers upfront (or risk letting them draw their own conclusions)? Should I slap some large bandages on and hope for the best? The scrapes will be immediately apparent to my interviewers, both when I first greet them and when we shake hands, so I feel it would be most appropriate to address them in some way, though I’m not sure how or at what point.

I’d just address it head-on (ha ha ha) right when you meet them, saying something like, “Excuse these scrapes! I had a skating tumble recently — I’m normally not covered in scratches!”

It’s weird if you don’t address it (because then they’re likely to be sitting there wondering about it), but if you just explain it, it shouldn’t be a big deal at all.

5. Filling out job applications when all my past employers have shut down

I’ve been self-employed for 10 years. Before that, every job I had was with companies that no longer exist (Blockbuster Video, Montgomery Ward). I literally have no background that can be checked. And, yes, potential employers do ask that you go past 10 years. How do I fill out applications that want this non-existent information? And remember, these are all done online. No one will take an application in-person anymore.

You fill it out exactly the same way you would if they still existed. Your job history doesn’t stop counting just because it can’t be verified (and it’s pretty unlikely that most employers will care about verifying employment from 10+ years ago anyway). That said, do whatever you can to track down former managers (on LinkedIn, etc.) who might remember you, just in case you do end up needing them.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss told me to stay home sick and now is demanding a doctor’s note

I work in Florida at a private school as a teacher. I had a fever on earlier this month and called in sick per school policy. I still felt I had a fever at the end of the day when my boss/principal called me and asked if I could return. I told her I was feeling better with rest and would like to return, but she said to stay home another day. I do not get paid sick leave or benefits or have any assistance in going to the doctor from my employer, nor do I have insurance. My boss told me that before I can return to work now, I must provide a doctor’s note saying I may return. I feel like I can work and will have had two days off so far. I cannot provide a sick note because I cannot afford to go to the doctor. How can I return to work and is it legal that she is making this demand?

It’s legal, but it’s really crappy. Requiring doctor’s notes for sick leave is already bad policy, but doing it when you don’t even give your employees health insurance is a new level of ridiculousness and tone-deafness. I’d say this to your boss: “I had a two-day illness and am now recovered. don’t have health insurance and can’t afford to go to the doctor when I’m not in need of treatment. If the school would like to cover it, I’d be glad to go but it’s not something I can afford on my own. More to the point, I don’t believe it’s necessary — we all get occasional flus that we treat at home with rest and then are fine to return to work, and that’s the case here.”

And if she does continue to insist on a doctor’s note, I’d say, “I’m just not sure how to do that, without insurance or the money to cover it. Is there another option here?”

2. I look young and it’s affecting me at work

I am a female third year associate at a small law firm. I know I look young for my age (I’m 30 but at bar events for students I’m often asked if I am pre-law). I am getting increasingly frustrated with vendors (and opposing counsel) assuming I am a secretary or paralegal. One even went so far as to send flowers for my birthday, informing me that they do this for all the secretaries at the firms who use them, despite being told repeatedly that I am not the partner’s assistant (when they called to ask my birthday for this purpose).

I dress in suits every day, my work email signatures states that I am an associate, and I sign most of the pleadings that vendors and opposing counsel see. I’m not sure what else I can do to alleviate this problem (aside from not using vendors who refuse to acknowledge that a young women can be an attorney). In some ways this is not a big deal, but there are portions of my job where it matters and the constant repetition of the problem is getting annoying. Is there something more I can do to help vendors and counsel accept that I am an attorney? If not what is the appropriate response? Should I correct them every time or only when it matters for the task at hand?

With opposing counsel, it might be satisfying to just call it out: “I’m sorry, do you think I’m a secretary?” If they try to joke it off, stay stony-faced, correct them, and move on. They’ll get it pretty quickly. (And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with being a secretary; it’s that people’s assumptions appear to be rooted in stereotypes, and that’s the piece that’s insulting.)

Vendors you have some power over, so the next time it happens, I’d say, “I’m sure you don’t intend to signal that you see all women as secretaries. Can you please ensure that your records are updated to get my position correct? Thank you.” And then if it happens again, I might say, “Is there some reason you continue to assume I’m a secretary, despite being told otherwise?” Make them uncomfortable; it might help. But also, yes, stop working with them if it’s anything other than a one-time honest mistake (and if you have that power).

Other than that, though, there’s not much you can do. It’s a problem that’ll resolve itself with time though!

3. Declining a management role I’ve been recommended for

I work for a Fortune 500 company that is very fast paced and has high expectations. During the holiday season, I took on an temporary management position and didn’t enjoy the experience at all. Come January, I decided that I wanted to lay low, come in and do my job and not take on any additional responsibility.

However, now my HR department has recommended a position for me that I’m not interested in it. Do I submit my application and go through the process and see what happens? Or do I let them know not at this time (which could be career suicide)?

Don’t apply if you know that you don’t want the job! I think it’s fine to say that you’ve realized that you don’t enjoy management as much as you enjoy X and that you really want to focus on X right now. (Alternately, you can try being vague — “thanks for thinking of me, but I don’t think it’s quite the right move for me right now” — but you’d want to be prepared with something more specific if pushed to elaborate.)

That said, in some fields the only way to progress is to move into management roles. If that’s the case in your field, it might mean that you’re limiting your ability to move up and limiting your earning potential … but if you hate managing, you shouldn’t do it (both for your own quality of life and that of the people you’d be managing — managers who dislike it are rarely great to work for).

4. Should I send my references before they’re requested?

I recently went in for a second interview with a small nonprofit. I’ve heard from my contact inside the org that I am a top contender for the position.) At the end of the interview, I asked about next steps. The executive director told me they would be making a decision early the following week and checking references. I haven’t provided my list of references to them yet. It wasn’t required as part of the application packet and I neglected to bring a copy with me to the second interview.

It is now the following week, and I haven’t heard anything from them yet. While I haven’t given up hope, I am getting rather impatient. My boyfriend thinks that I should go ahead and send my references before they ask. I feel like that seems a bit presumptuous, and think that if they want to hire me, they’ll follow up and ask for them.

What are your thoughts on sending along references before the employer requests them?

Sure, that’s fine to do. It’s not going to come across as presumptuous; if they want to use them, they will, and if they don’t, they won’t. That said, sending them along isn’t likely to move things forward at a significantly faster pace than they’d otherwise move, so I’m not sure it really works as a strategy here.

The better strategy, as always in job searches, is to check in once after the timeline they gave you earlier passes, and then assume you didn’t get it, put it out of your mind, move on, and let it be a pleasant surprise if they do contact you. If they want to hire you, they’re not going to forget about you, and if they don’t decide to hire you, you’ll have spared yourself all the waiting and agonizing.

5. Explaining UK academics on a resume going to American employers

I’m American but went to university and got my undergraduate degree in the UK. I’m now back in the U.S. and applying for jobs. I’m getting stuck where applications either ask for a GPA or ask for a degree transcript. UK universities don’t use GPA (degrees are classified as 1st, 2:1, 2:2, or third class honours) and the grading system is very different. Exams are designed to be difficult and achieving full marks is not expected of any but the most exceptional students (and there are no marks for attendance or class quizzes). Anything above 70% is considered very good (a 1st class degree is above 70%) and 40% is the pass mark. I got good marks – mostly above 70%, some 90+% – but I know it wouldn’t necessarily look that way to an American looking at my academic transcript.

Should I add a qualifier to the transcript – e.g. a sentence that explains the grading scale in the UK – or assume most jobs asking for an academic transcript know how to interpret one, even an international one? And what about the GPA box – a lot of application forms won’t let you leave it blank.

Yes, I’d definitely add some context that will help American employers translate it in a way they’ll understand. If you can, I wouldn’t get into explaining how the UK system works but instead just provide an American equivalent — for example, “the UK equivalent of an American 3.8 GPA” or something like that. (I don’t know if you can get that specific, but the more you provide that kind of context, the better.)