Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Being asked to provide references with your initial application

I’m job-searching right now, and I’ve noticed that there are a fair amount of jobs that ask for contact information for references up front – not even only in applications systems, but even just attached to your cover letter and resume.

Doing so makes me uncomfortable, though I can’t quite articulate why – I know that they’re very unlikely to call the references before speaking with me, because it simply wouldn’t make sense, but it just feels awkward and uncomfortable. Is there any graceful way to say “I’ll give them to you if you interview me” without it completely eliminating me from consideration, or do I just need to suck it up and decide whether this is a hill I want to die on?

You’re right to feel uncomfortable with it, since you don’t want your references being contacted before you’ve decided if it’s a job you’re even interested in, which you can’t know for sure until you’ve had a chance to talk with the employer and learn more. And you want to be in control of when your references are contacted, since you don’t want them to get “reference fatigue” by being contacted too much.

That said, no sane employer checks references until they’re seriously considering making an offer, so in most cases when they’re requested this early, it’s because the employer finds it easier to require them now rather than having to slow down the process later to ask for them and wait for them to be provided. (Of course, that only adds like a day to the process, so it’s a bit of a silly concern.)

In any case, one option is to include a note saying, “Out of respect for my references’ time, I prefer they not be contacted before we’ve had a chance to determine mutual interest, but I’d be happy to provide numerous references at that stage.” Of course, not every application will give you that option, and you may have no choice but to comply with this unreasonable demand.

2. I got a referral bonus for referring a friend for a job — should I share it with her?

I recently referred a friend for an opening where I work. Her phone/first interview went well and they now want to have her come in for a face-to-face. We get a pretty generous finder’s fee for referring someone, which she will find out upon getting hired and reading all her new hire paperwork. I told my boyfriend and another close friend that, if she gets hired, and I receive the sum of money, I’d like to treat her and her husband to a nice dinner, since I know she desperately needs the job and they’ve been having hard financial times. Both of them told me that she is actually the one that should treat me to lunch or something, for getting her the job. I’d feel sort of selfish, however, not sharing the wealth at least a little and she’ll know I got this money. What is your take on this?

No one here needs to treat anyone. You did your employer a favor by helping to connect them with a good employee; it wasn’t an act of charity toward your friend, so she doesn’t need to treat you. And your employer gave you a finder’s fee because they want good referrals; you’re not obligated to share the cash. That said, if you’d like to take your friend out to celebrate — totally separate from the referral bonus — by all means do!

3. Do I really have to wear this new company shirt?

I have a question about a dress code issue. I am a sub-contractor. I work for a company that has a contract to work with “them” at another company. Basically we supply the people, and they supply the equipment.

The company that owns the equipment is pretty much our boss. Recently we have been notified that we have to wear a shirt that has that company’s logo on it. This is something very new. The issue I am having is that I am told that since my shirt fits, I have to wear it, but those who have shirts that don’t fit don’t wear them until they get their sizes. It has been a month. Is me not wearing my shirt when not everybody has one something I can legally get written up for or terminated over?

Yes. Your company can require you to wear a uniform or other specific clothing. It’s reasonable that they’re temporarily suspending the requirements for people for whom they don’t yet have the right size, and that situation doesn’t really have any bearing on yours. They can indeed discipline you or fire if you refuse. But why is it even an issue? You have to wear the shirt, so … assuming it’s not revealing or offensive in some way, just wear it and avoid the whole issue?

4. Can I try to connect with my interviewer on LinkedIn?

I recently have begun to interview and have more than few interviews scheduled in the coming weeks- so I’m very lucky in that aspect – but I’m wondering if I’m missing an opportunity to grow my professional network by not sending LinkedIn invitations to my interviewers.

I’m wondering is it a valid enough association to ask somebody to join my professional network when we only had one or two conversations. Also, does it look bad like I am trying to brown nose or nag, or worst: is it like bringing my mom to the interviews so she can say “hire my little boy” since my network of professionals are people who would be rooting for me. is it too much?

Also would a LinkedIn invitation take the place of or be in addition to a thank you note after the interview?

Sure, that’s fine to do. Some interviewers will accept a LinkedIn invitation from a candidate and some won’t, but it’s not inappropriate to try. It’s not brown-nosing or nagging; it’s pretty clearly just networking.

It absolutely doesn’t take the place of a thank-you note though; it’s a totally different thing.

5. Explaining time spent caring for a parent

How do I make my resume reflect the four-month period that I spent caring for my dying father? Shortly before my dad went into the hospital, I was laid off from the community college because of a sudden drop in enrollment, but I was able to bounce back by taking on work as a private writing tutor. But when my dad went into the hospital, I had to give up all of my students so that I could take my disabled mother to visit him every day and so that I could be there to help make daily care decisions on his behalf. Now that he has passed away and my mother’s situation is more stable so that I can go back to applying for jobs, is there something I can put directly in my resume to explain the gaps?

Not on your resume since that’s just for professional experience, but you can definitely include a short explanation in your cover letter. I’d say this: “I took X months away for a family health issue that has since been resolved.”

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Turning down an internal promotion

I have been with my company four years exactly. I am a senior admin to a VP and director supporting 40 people involved in more than the traditional admin duties. I applied for a pricing analyst role in the same department. After three months of interviewing, I was just told I got it. I received the offer letter. I spoke with my current boss and to-be-new boss saying this is great, but now I do not want the job and want to stay in my current job. I just do not feel that job is where I want to go long term. Is it too late to decline? Will I be blacklisted and lose respect and chances of raises or future promotions?

I only received the offer letter but have not signed anything saying I accept. There was only a verbal conversation. I said I think I will take it. But after thinking this over, I do not want to take it and want to stay where I am presently. I would still be working with these people… will they lose respect for me or feel I should not be given anything at all? I am fearful that by declining I am setting myself up for disaster. Is it too late? And what is the best most professional way to decline and a way that will not harm my current role and future chances of getting a raise and promotion?

Oooof, this is tricky. Rightly or wrongly, if you proactively apply for an internal promotion, it’s usually pretty much assumed that you want it and will take it if offered, as long as long as you can come to terms on salary and other details; they’ll assume that as an insider you know enough about the culture and the role that you wouldn’t be going after it if you didn’t really want it.

That doesn’t mean that you’re stuck taking this job, but it does mean that you should be prepared to talk about what changed your mind and how you see your future there. It’s possible that it will change the way you’re seen and/or what opportunities you’re offered there in the future, but it’s hard to say that for sure without knowing more about what your reasons are, and why things played out the way they did (i.e., why you didn’t realize you didn’t want the job until now).

2. Has this employer already hired someone for the job I interviewed for?

I applied for a position I thought I would be a great fit for, and after a very rocky phone screen with a recruiter, I somehow managed to snag an in-person interview.

Before my interview yesterday, I looked for the job description online and it was removed. This was my first red flag. When I walked into the lobby, there was an interviewee there with HR, discussing work hours, dress code, etc. Also a red flag, but I told myself that maybe the interviewee just ran over her time. I was scheduled to meet with a director first. When I walked in, he said he was really busy, asked if I had any questions, and so I asked some general questions about the position, and he told me the next person I talk to would know better about the day-to-day duties and that if I didn’t have any specific finance questions, I could sit on the couch outside his office and wait for HR to collect me. So I waited, and then went to the next interview with a different department VP. She was very pleasant, but again, didn’t really ask me any questions. She said “I assume you’re comfortable with numbers, based on your resume?” I said yes, explained my last role, and then we chatted. It was pleasant, but not at all like any job interview I’ve ever had. There was no HR portion, and this VP basically walked me to the elevator and told me where the parking lot is. Both people I talked to have been with this company for less than a year.

Are they just terrible interviewers, or is the job probably already filled? I do have to add that at one point during my talk with the VP, someone came by her office and looked through the window with questioning eyes, as in “how’s it going?” She said everyone is eager to fill this role and they’re hoping she does it quickly. I sent a follow-up email today to the VP expressing my excitement about the position. She replied, “It was great meeting you, thank you for coming in.” Ahh, I hate job hunting!

Well, I don’t think all of this is red-flaggy: The job description being taken down doesn’t necessarily mean anything; lots of companies take postings down once their application deadline is up and they’re not accepting new candidates. And I don’t have a problem with you spotting a previous candidate wrapping up their interview; that’s not outrageous or a sign of anything bad. The people you spoke with do sound like bad interviewers though. And sure, it’s possible that that’s because they’ve already picked a candidate for the job and were just going through the motions with you, but it’s also possible that they’re just bad interviewers. I think you’re reading into every small detail (like the person who looked in the window — there’s nothing to conclude from that); instead of trying to decipher all of this, I’d focus on figuring out if you’d even want the job if offered to you.

3. New company wants me to start earlier than I want to start

I’ve got a job offer from a new company, and they are requesting me to start one month earlier. The notice period in my current company is two months, but the new employer is asking me to serve one month notice and saying that they will buy me out for the second month. How can I politely tell them that i would like to stay and serve the two months notice to complete my job handover and responsibilities?

“My company requests two months notice from employers, and I’d like to comply, both in order to preserve a good relationship with them and because they’ve always treated me well.”

That said, for some roles (especially more junior ones), asking to push your start date to two months away can be a hard sell (at least in the U.S., where shorter notice periods are common). If it’s a deal-breaker for the new company, you’ll need to decide if it’s a deal-breaker for you.

4. Explaining why I’m not licensed yet

I’ve been working in Human Resources for almost two years now and am ready to take on more responsibility so I am actively job searching. A lot of the job advertisements I see are asking for the professional certification; I’ve never been licensed (as a certified HR professional) because the cost of the designation is about a month’s worth of my current salary. Part of the reason I want to move up is because I’m not being paid at market rate for my skills. It wouldn’t be an issue for others in my field, but I struggle just to get my groceries, so adding a licensing fee is too much for me, and it doesn’t benefit me in my current position.

How do I explain, in my cover letter or resume, that I am eligible to be licensed but have not due to cost considerations? Or should I not mention it at all? I’m not sure how to approach this.

Being eligible to be licensed isn’t at all the same thing as actually licensed (since you haven’t actually passed the certification exam), so I just wouldn’t mention it at all.

If you’re asked about it in an interview, you could say, “It’s not something that would be an advantage in my current position, but I’d like to take the exam in the future.”

5. Is this consulting company stringing me along?

Recently, I underwent a pretty extensive interview process with a consulting firm. They packed three interviews, as well as a “case study” which they asked me to produce for them, into less than a 10-day period. After I submitted the case study, I was told I would hear back from them “early next week.” I should mention that the case study made me uncomfortable, as I felt maybe they were using me for free work. They did also ask a lot of questions about my “connections” in the region in which they work.

Well, that was over three weeks ago. After about a week, I emailed my interviewer, who claimed that his CEO was still “deciding.” I never heard anything else. Then, this morning, my interviewer added me on LinkedIn. I find this bizarre and am not sure how to respond. Is this just further evidence that they are trying to milk me for my connections, or are they finally going to make me an offer?

I think your interpretation is off-base here. It’s not unusual for hiring decisions to take a lot longer than employers originally think they will; that’s very, very common. And it’s very common for consulting firms to use case studies as part of hiring assessments (they’re actually known for it), and it’s pretty rare for responses to those to be usable as actual work for the company, and even more rare that a company would actually use one that way. All in all, this sounds like a pretty typical hiring experience with nothing that should be raising alarms.

Adding you on LinkedIn doesn’t really indicate anything other than that your interviewer sometimes connects to job candidates on LinkedIn; some people do that. As for whether they’ll eventually make you an offer, there’s nothing here to indicate either way; in fact, there’s never anything that really tells you that, short of hearing the words “we’d like to offer you the job,” because you can never know what might be going on behind the scenes. It’s always safer to assume that there’s no offer until you actually receive one, regardless of what signs you think you might see in either direction.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I’m assigned all the worst holidays to work

I work as a pharmacist in a federal hospital with a group of 13 other pharmacists. We are open 24/7 and that requires people to work shifts and weekends and holidays that no one likes. It is a shared burden. However, for the last two years, management has “assigned” holidays to people. The manager has assigned me Memorial Day, Independence Day, Thanksgiving Day (evening hours), Christmas Eve (evening hours until 10 pm), and New Year’s Eve (evening hours until 10 pm).

Most employees work three holidays a year. I am technically working three since Christmas Eve and New Years Eve are not holidays. Other employees are working three holidays but working Presidents’ Day, Columbus Day, and Veterans’ Day.

My boss states that a holiday is a holiday and that working one is the same as working another. I feel that working Thanksgiving is different than working Columbus Day, even though both are holidays, and that working the less desirable holidays should be a shared burden. I also feel that the EVE of Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve are kinda special and should “count” for something.

I agree with you — not all holidays are created equal, and most people would see working the holidays you’ve been assigned as a significantly greater burden than working Columbus Day. I would say this to your boss: “Would it be possible to swap some of my assigned holidays for other holidays? I’ve somehow ended up with three that are especially big family celebration days, and I’d really appreciate the chance to swap one or two of them for holidays that aren’t associated with big celebrations.” Ultimately, it’s his call — but you’re certainly justified in being bothered by it.

2. Asking for an increase in pay when the job changes on my second day

I recently interviewed and was chosen for a one-year contract position whose role was initially nebulous, as the company’s staffing needs were fluid. I ended up being offered an assistant role instead of the more demanding role I’d hoped for, but still accepted as it was still an increase in pay and responsibility over my prior work, and I knew there was a strong possibility of promotion.

Day 1 of training was for the assistant role. But sure enough, when I showed up on Day 2, my manager informed me that an employee had put in notice and that they wanted me to train for that employee’s role instead – which is the more demanding role. While I’m excited for it, the pay should be 10% higher than for the assistant role, and I want to ensure that I get that pay bump. (I had a verbal on the 10% amount from the person currently vacating the job — who is a friend and former coworker — and the assistant operations manager had confirmed that the main role would pay $20/hour vs. $18/hour.) How do I tactfully make that request?

“I’d love to move into this role and I’m really excited about taking it on. I know the X role pays a bit more than the assistant role — can we revisit my pay in light of this change?”

To be clear, this is because you’re taking on an entirely different job. If you were just taking on some new projects or responsibilities, that wouldn’t be the kind of thing where you ask for an immediate salary bump. But in this case, you’re taking a different job than the one you negotiated earlier.

3. Long company-wide lunches when I’m paid hourly

I am one of a few employees at my company that are paid hourly and not salaried, so I have to submit a timesheet to accounting every two weeks. Everyone in the company is designated 30 minutes for lunch, but every now and then we have a company-wide lunch (for someone’s birthday, special occasions, etc.) that goes over the 30 minutes, and I’m never sure how I should log it on my timesheet.

I’m really not sure what to do next week, since our company’s new COO wants to take me and another coworker out for lunch at a fancy restaurant — which is obviously great, except that it’ll probably take 1-2 hours, and I’m the only one who stands to possibly lose money because of it. I feel dishonest saying I only took 30 minutes for lunch, but at the same time I don’t think it’s “fair” that I should lose a big chunk of my paycheck to attend a lunch that I didn’t initiate, and can’t (and don’t want to) turn down.

What should I do in situations like this now and moving forward? Log it as 30 minutes even if it goes over, or accept the dock in pay? And if I should accept the dock in pay, should I bring the issue up with my bosses? I feel kind of embarrassed talking about these sorts of things with people who make much more money than me.

You should ask your boss how to handle this, and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed by it. Your boss knows that you’re working for pay, and this is the kind of question managers field all the time. I’d say this: “When we go out for longer lunches, how should I handle that on my timesheet? I normally take a half hour lunch, so I’m not sure how to handle it when we’re away for one or two hours.” You’ll probably be told to just log the 30 minutes, but if you’re told to count the whole two hours as non-work time, I’d say this: “That means that on days when we have a company lunch, I’ll end up getting paid less. That won’t be easy for me financially; is there some other option?”

4. Rejected because I didn’t disclose my wife had previously interviewed for the same job

I interviewed for a position and went through several rounds. I was rejected because I “didn’t disclose my wife was a candidate for the position several months prior.” However, the first email application I sent mentioned that she referred me. I didn’t state that she was my wife, but used her entire name as a mutual contact. I don’t want the position anymore, but am curious if that’s legal, or if I need to mention in future interviews that she is my wife when referred by her.

Yes, that’s perfectly legal. Employers can reject you for any reason they want, as long as it’s not based on your race, sex, religion, national origin, disability, or other protected characteristic.

I’m not sure why they particularly care that you’re married to another job candidate who’s no longer in the running. I can see caring if you’re married to a current employee, but that doesn’t sound like the case here.

As for future interviews … is this going to come up that much? I’m thinking you’re probably not going to be applying to a ton of positions where your wife previously interviewed. But sure, if it does happen again, I’d err on the side of disclosing it. In general, erring on the side of transparency is usually safer than the opposite.

5. Mentioning motherhood in a job that involves children

I know that personal information (spouse, kids, hobbies, etc.) typically doesn’t have a place in cover letters or resume, but what is the protocol when it could strengthen your candidacy?

Specifically, I am applying for a job with a local children’s magazine and the job description states they are looking for “people who have an interest in children, parenthood, and family.” Would it make sense to mention that I have a child in my cover letter somehow, as a way to explain my interest in the role? The job is one that appeals to me in general anyway, but as a new mom this subject matter is now something I am also personally passionate about.

I think you can definitely mention that you have a strong interest in and commitment to kids and family, but I’d stay away from citing your own motherhood as an example of that — largely because so many people have kids that it’s not really a differentiating factor.