the worst boss of 2014 is…

by Alison Green on December 29, 2014

We have a winner! 3,313 votes are in, and the worst boss of the year is the manager who spoofed an employee’s caller ID to make her think her hospitalized mother was calling  … with 30% of the vote. Congratulations, terrible manager of the year! You suck.

The five runners-up, who managed to be pretty terrible themselves:

* the manager who didn’t want an employee to meet with clients unless she lost weight – 29%

* the manager who showed up at an employee’s house and beat on her doors and windows, damaging her home – 22%

* the manager who wanted to buy underwear for employees — and approve it first – 14%

* the manager who was penalizing people for not participating in monthly athletic events – 3%

* the boss who kept pushing an employee to drink – 3%

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3 more updates from letter-writers

by Alison Green on December 29, 2014

Here are another three updates from people who had their letters answered here this year.

1. When a coworker missed a deadline, I told her it’s a good thing she’s pretty

My situation worked out fine. Not a whole lot to tell. Appreciated your input. I will admit I was shocked by the response of commenters to what was not meant as a serious insult. That said, it was made pretty obvious that I underestimated the seriousness of commenting on appearance at all, which I appreciated. Bit of a wake up call.

I obviously did not challenge the writing up after that little avalanche of criticism. I had already signed it, so challenging it would have been tricky by that point anyway, despite it not being the right response to the situation. I did take your advice on making sure my manager knew I recognized and regretted the comment that was made and things have been pretty smooth since then. I am a high performer, so he appreciated it was a one-off.

As for the woman who the callous comment was directed at, she and I have been fine. I’m no longer angry she went to my manager instead of addressing the issue directly with me. I can understand she wasn’t sure of herself in the moment. I don’t consider myself to be an intimidating person, but it’s something for me to consider in how I come across in future. Her work has also been better, so we haven’t had any conflicts since. I will be looking to better manage my response next time if she is to drop the ball again. Overall, I appreciated getting an outside perspective, despite the criticism, it did help me to see where I went wrong. You provide a valuable resource, so thanks for that.

2. My employer wants me to repay business expenses because I’m resigning

I took the advice provided from Ask a Manager and in the comments, and I’m so glad I did. While I worked hard to ensure a smooth transition as I was leaving, I declined saying anything definitive about the money one way or the other. This was not difficult, as this policy is deeply unpopular even among senior management. I did receive an email from the Human Resource Director about three weeks after my last day reminding me (clearly sent at the CEO’s behest). I politely but firmly referred her to a lawyer, and the matter was dropped.

I understand that they have increased the “repayment policy” from six months to eight months, and are now “requiring” departing employees to pay not just the cost of the plane ticket but all other expenses as well (hotels, meals, etc.).

I shared your advice to several colleagues in the same situation as me. It helped them tremendously as well.

So glad to be out of there. Thanks again for all your support, everyone!

3. How can I get to know people in my new office? (#2 at the link)

I did bring food, like homemade cookies and other treats. While some of my colleagues were appreciative, the gesture backfired with others who seemed to associate it with their (house)wives, including a member of the management team. Then again, said member is also the same person who suggested I should enjoy a song because “all Chinese people like it” (I’m of Asian descent), portray a hooker in an advertising video for an Asian client, etc.

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can I opt out of our office instant-messaging program?

by Alison Green on December 29, 2014

A reader writes:

My current gripe at my job is the fact that we use an inter-office instant message/chat program and I find it increasingly distracting, which in turn makes me agitated at work. I have it set to NOT pop up in front of me every time there’s a message, which helps, but it still leaves the little icon flashing on the bottom of my screen (taskbar) when I do, which is super hard for me to ignore.

I suspect I have a minor case of ADD, but have never been formally diagnosed and wouldn’t want to be medicated anyhow, as other than this nuisance, I’m able to function and be productive. I do also turn on Do Not Disturb for a couple hours a few days of the month when my heavy reporting is due, but other than that, I believe I’m expected to have it on and be available.

I’ve been tossing around the idea of asking my manager if I can opt out, and am wondering if you think that is advisable. There are a handful of people in our company of 40 or so employees who do not have it because they work on Macs, and this program only runs on PCs. But to my knowledge, nobody else has ever opted out.

If I do bring this up to my manager (we have a pretty good and open relationship), should I use the idea that I feel I’m slightly ADD and this is why it’s so distracting for me? Otherwise, I feel like when she takes it to upper management for approval, they’ll just think I’m silly. But on the other hand, I don’t want them to feel like I’m somebody they have to make special accommodations for. The reason we use it here is that it’s a very sales-driven environment and I see the need for Sales and Support to use it, as they are passing calls and such to each other all day long, but for my role as an admin, I feel people can use email and the phone for whatever they need to request of me.

I also feel like some general guidelines should be put into place, as I feel said salespeople tend to use the program improperly in the first place — for example, sending messages with action items (which should be emailed), which I feel sends the message “you need to drop what you’re doing and fulfill my request.” Also, these types of messages are easily lost if several people are messaging you at once, whereas with email, you can simply flag it as a to-do. I can tell you without a doubt, this will not change, as we have several “old-timers” who just do not change and they aren’t made to, as I’ve witnessed in regards to other things here.

Ugh, I hate it when people send complicated or non-time-sensitive requests or information through instant messages. That’s not how IMs are intended to be used, they’re easily lost that way, and they become more of an interruption than they need to be.

You can certainly ask your manager if it would be okay to keep your IM turned off (or barring that, to change your chat status to something like “on deadline — please email if you need me” at times when you especially need focus). I don’t even think you need to mention ADD; it’s reasonable to simply say, “I’m finding that it makes it really hard for me to focus on tasks that require concentration, as well as to track multiple to-do items when they come in through chat, and most of what’s sent to me there isn’t so time-sensitive that putting it in email would cause problems.”

That said, be prepared to hear no. In part, this might just be an office culture thing, and opting out could leave you out of sync with how everyone else there is communicating. But also, and perhaps more importantly, in a role as an admin, you’re often expected to accommodate other people’s communication needs. If it’s significantly easier for someone to IM you rather than calling you (for instance, because they’re on a conference call or in a meeting but have something time-sensitive to relay), you’re probably going to need to deal with that.

But it’s not an unreasonable thing to ask about, as long as you don’t present it in a way that sounds like you’ll be horribly resentful if the answer is no.

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bad management forced me to work over Christmas, my son was fired, and more

by Alison Green on December 29, 2014

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Bad project management forced me to work over Christmas

(Received on December 24, but I figured it could still be useful to print an answer to it now.)

Thanks to a really terrible project manager about seven of us have to work over Christmas to do a system upgrade—five techies, the PM, and one manager. I’ve already started looking for a new job and have some prospects, so my question isn’t about whether to leave such an awful environment—I’m (hopefully) out shortly into the new year.

My question is: inevitably, the project manager and her manager will try to do something “Christmasy” while we’re working in a lame attempt to improve morale and I want *NO* part of it. How can I politely turn down the lunches, snacks, or other trinkets they’ll try to provide to make up for ruining our Christmas? Frankly, at this point, I want to go in, do my work, and have no other contact with these people—not even trivial social chatter let alone dine with them. I’m at the point where I can barely even be civil to the PM.

In response to the food: “Oh, no thanks, I really want to focus on work so I can get home to spend Christmas with my family.”

But there’s no parallel response that works well for the trinkets, and I wouldn’t spend much energy trying to find one. The issue here isn’t that they’re using trinkets to smooth over bad management; the issue is the bad management itself. So don’t get overly focused on rejecting the lame Christmasy stuff, or you risk harming your own reputation in the process. Stay civil and professional, and direct your energy toward getting out of there.

2. My offer letter is asking to verify my degree, but they know I didn’t graduate from college

I graduated high school in 1983 and took a few collage classes ins the early 90’s. I posted my resume on a job search site and literally a few hours later got a invite for an interview. The job was never posted; the company simply pulled my resume for an unlisted opening. On my resume, I put that I attended collage but didn’t list any degrees. When I went on the interview, I stated I didn’t finish collage. They didn’t ask about a degree; I offered the information. But now the offer letter is requiring my college transcript showing my degree.

I have 20+ years experience in the field. I am not sure how to handle this. The job is a perfect fit for both me and the company.

That language in the offer letter is probably just boilerplate language that they routinely include; you just need to point out to them that it doesn’t apply to you. I’d say something like this: “As we talked about in the interview and I noted on my resume, I didn’t complete a degree. I’m assuming I should just ignore the language about degree verification that’s in the offer letter?”

(Also, given that this does appear to be standard boilerplate for them, it’s beyond stupid that an employer would care about a college transcript that in your case could be 20-30 years old.)

3. My CEO annotated my performance evaluation with his own comments

I’m a manager at a company with about 230 employees. We are at the end of performance review season. In my review, I received great marks, helpful feedback, and a promotion. Hooray!

Today, my boss (executive level) told me that his boss (CEO) annotated my review before it went to file (but after my boss and I had discussed it). He sent along the CEO’s comments. The CEO reiterated my boss’s praise and value to the company in 3 or 4 sentences. Hooray!

I’ve never had this happen before, but then again I haven’t been working that long or for very many companies. I didn’t even realize CEOs saw everyone’s review as a matter of course. (Wait…do they? Or is this also unusual?) More specifically, is his annotation more common than I think it is, too? Is it usually additional praise or will it happen with feedback? Is this just a part of being a mid-level manager? Or am I meant to (capital N) Notice his special attention?

It’s actually not bad practice for a manager to look at a smattering of performance evaluations prepared by the managers who she manages, to give her a feel for how they’re handling that part of their role. But this isn’t something you’d normally see at the CEO level (managers reporting directly to the CEO usually have more autonomy) unless it’s a small company, and it’s not typical for the higher-level manager to actually annotate the evaluations (usually if they have input, they’d ask the direct manager to incorporate it into their own remarks).

Regardless of what is and isn’t usual, though, I wouldn’t spend too much time trying to read into this; I’d just take it at face value.

4. How valuable are virtual internships on a resume?

I’m college senior and I’ve been searching since September for a decent editorial internship to apply to for the spring 2015 semester. As it’s now December, it’s obvious that I’ve been struggling to find one. I think a huge part of it is because the city that I’m isn’t that big on magazines or newspapers, or any job that requires an editor.

Recently, I’ve been looking into the possibility of having a virtual internship. At this point, I feel like I have no other option, but I’m not sure how well a virtual internship would look on a resume as opposed to a regular one. For a senior college student who has never had an internship before, how well does a virtual internship look on a resume?

It depends on what you actually do as part of the internship. If you’re doing substantive, meaningful work, with real oversight and results, that’s very resume-worthy, even if you’re doing it from your couch in your pajamas.

That said, there are advantages to doing on-site internships — you tend to learn more about how to operate in an office, which is a big part of the value of internships, and it’s often easier to build relationships and learn more about the rest of the company … but there are plenty of other advantages offered by virtual internships if they’re good, and I wouldn’t discount them.

5. My son was fired without warning and without a reason

My son was fired today. He is a hard worker, and if he did something wrong he would tell me. His boss fired him today for not abiding by company policy. He was never warned and asked them what he did. They told him they didn’t have to tell him. Is this true?

Sure. In the U.S., employers aren’t required by law to warn people before firing them. They don’t even need to give them a reason, although reasonable employers don’t fire people without explanation.

That said, I’d avoid the temptation to get too caught up in this kind of thing when it’s about your kid. You’ll rarely have all the facts, you’re almost certainly only hearing one side of the story, and it’s too easy to be influenced by parental bias.

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Sunday open thread – December 28, 2014

by Alison Green on December 28, 2014

Olive under treeThis comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. (This one is truly non-work only; if you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.)

Have at it.

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update: my coworker told a candidate’s current employer that he’s job-searching

by Alison Green on December 27, 2014

Remember the letter-writer who strongly suspected that a coworker had outed a job applicant to his current employer? Here’s the update.

After reading AAM’s response and the comments, I spoke with my manager (who is also my group’s director) about what had happened. She was disappointed in “Lucinda’s” behavior, but, like me, had concerns about how to address it (since the information came through the grapevine.) She ultimately reminded both my group and Lucinda’s group about the importance of data security and maintaining the confidentiality of corporate information. She went so far as to describe very high level what had happened. As many commenters predicted, Lucinda had no idea the comments were based on her actions. Lucinda’s group is currently understaffed, so I can understand the reluctance to take action over something based on hearsay, even if we believe it to be true.

I took several steps to distance myself from her. Also, Lucinda had several of her clients shifted away from her (as I previously mentioned, she was having performance issues, although I think this was taken into consideration.) She has noticed a shift in attitude towards her and she cornered me in the restroom one day to vent her frustrations. She mentioned she is looking for a new job and is working with a headhunter. Ironically, she is concerned the headhunter might say something to someone at our employer and that would put her in a bad position with our director.

I think Lucinda is in over her head in her job and I recently spoke to her manager with a suggestion to move her into a new role that would let her maximize her strengths and also provide support to the team. Her manager liked my suggestion and is going to think about making a shift and will discuss it with our director. I don’t know if it will ultimately materialized and I’m not sure how Lucinda would respond if her job was redefined (it would downgrade her role, but she could keep her title and pay) but clearly, she’s unhappy in her current role. I believe this would be a win/win and her most likely chance of success at our company.

As for “Adam” and “Brian,” I have nothing new to report. My company recently posted two job openings and I was once again encouraged to reach out to my contacts. However, under the circumstances, I decided not to reach out to Adam again. I know he is looking for a new job, so he will see the job postings. If he decides to apply and/or reaches out to me, I would definitely encourage him and do what I can do help him get the job. But for the time being, I don’t feel right about proactively reaching out to him. Maybe in the future, after the dust settles a bit more. My company has been growing by leaps and bounds and we will have opportunities again.

Thank you, AAM, and all the commenters for their feedback!

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the best “ask the readers” posts in 2014

by Alison Green on December 27, 2014

We have an awesome community of commenters at Ask a Manager — and that’s especially evident in the response to “ask the readers” posts. Here are some of the most interesting “ask the readers” posts in 2014:

1. how can I prepare my teenager for the workforce?

2. what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen at work?

3. talk about your job / ask about other people’s jobs

4. what surprised you the most when you first started working?

5. how much money do you make? part one and part two

 

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4 more reader updates

by Alison Green on December 26, 2014

Here are four more updates from people who had their letters answered here this year.

1. I made a huge, fireable mistake at work

I didn’t mention this in my original e-mail but we brought the mistake to our manager’s attention immediately. There’s no way we could have hidden this from her, so trying to do so would have likely led to immediate termination.

While ultimately the error was due to my coworker and I being careless, it was also clear that there was some miscommunication from a vendor that contributed to the oversight. I was also helped by that fact that we didn’t lose the contract. And once I found that out I busted my ass to do the best job possible on this project, even though it has meant some very long hours and Saturdays spent at the office this month.

The feedback I’ve gotten from the client has been very positive and my workplace may get a contract for a second project as a result. I was really beating myself up for about a week after we made that mistake, which I’m not sure did me any favors since it made it hard to focus on getting anything done. While I’ve been extra careful with my work since then, if/when I make mistakes in the future I will try to be less self-punitive.

2. HR won’t let us hold people accountable for performance (#3 at the link)

Since I wrote to you, there’s been some good progress. One point I didn’t make in my original post was that HR was more agreeable to the idea of providing financial incentives for exceeding goals than they were to consequences for failing to meet goals (some commenters asked about that). Once I got them to consider the two issues separately, we were able to move ahead quickly with teapot makers who exceed their goals being eligible for a modest bonus at the end of the year. That plan goes into effect on January 1. Yay!

As far as consequences for not meeting goals, it’s still a little murky but I am hopeful. I requested a meeting shortly after I wrote to you with a few key people, including my manager and the head of HR. Right away, it became clear that HR was hung-up on some details that I didn’t really care about. For example, I used the term “six-month probation” in my plan and was told “we don’t have probation, we have performance improvement periods.” Fine, call it whatever you want. Also, the “performance improvement periods” are typically four months, not six, as I had suggested. Again – I can work with that. There was a lot more of that, but in the end they conceded that our new leadership wants to see greater accountability and gave me the leeway to get creative with the performance appraisal template. For example, for the question about whether the employee is courteous, maybe I could say that it was uncourteous not to meet their goal of 25 teapots (?!). Like I said…still a little murky.

3. How much does the hiring process reflect the organization?

I actually cringe now when I read this because….oh my goodness. The HR process was 100% representative of the organisation. In my question I said: I’m worried I’m going to spend my working life frustrated by slow and inefficient processes. Ah yes. That was, in fact, my life for 22 miserable months. I wrote in my response to your answer: I also feel like the hiring manager is organised and extremely talented, and also a good person, so I do have confidence in her. Oh boy was that misjudged. Talented and a good person, but so disorganised person it was a disaster.

The organisation was in a period of transition which made things harder, but even taking that into account, it was just mind-boggling how slow and inefficient that place was. The environment was toxic (my manager’s words, not mine, that is how widely recognised the problem was), I worked harder than I’ve ever worked in my life, I was endlessly apologising to clients and vendors for our ridiculously slow response times, over which I had no control, I worked every nights and weekend, travelled a huge amount, and in the end I just burned myself out. I’ve now moved on and the most valuable lesson I’ve learned is that there is no such thing as the “perfect job” that I thought this was. Caveat emptor, indeed.

4. I was denied a request to use a different computer because of a heavy smoker (#2 at the link)

Nothing good came from broaching the subject again with my manager, in an email, in my in-person year review, or with HR. Nothing changed. I at one point was summoned to a surprise meeting with all of the management of my location, where I was even laughed out of the room for asking to wear a face mask to protect my lungs and admonished for bothering my manager with my emails because they are very busy and don’t have time for things like this apparently. (I cried in front of everyone but I really didn’t care about looking unprofessional – their conduct was unprofessional)

I paid for an Ask A Manager resume review and landed a sweet new secretary position that I found on craigslist (I find all the best openings there!). I started in August (it’s at a small private preschool). The days between my two jobs, I filed a complaint in person at the EEOC and I’m waiting on the mediation process. I don’t think there is much there to claim in terms of compensation/settlement because I didn’t spend any time unemployed, but the way I was treated is unacceptable and illegal.

New job has 7 weeks+ of paid vacation and normal hours and federal holidays and teacher work days and everything that is amazing about school schedules. I also received a sizeable holiday gift (I would even call it a bonus) from my boss. It’s very nice to work hard and be appreciated for working hard. The kids are adorable.

I’m super missing my 401(k) matching, golden health insurance, and other benefits from working for a corporation, and a few other things, but this was a great move for me. I’m on day 3 of an 18-day break for the winter holidays. The break is so long that my former second job in food service was able to put me back on the schedule for some fun short shifts/some money to spare.

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open thread – December 26, 2014

by Alison Green on December 26, 2014

It’s the Friday open thread!

The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything work-related that you want to talk about. If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers.

* If you submitted a question to me recently, please don’t repost it here, as it may be in the to-be-answered queue :)

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asking about difficult coworkers in an interview, apologizing for a terrible cover letter, and more

by Alison Green on December 26, 2014

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Can I ask about difficult coworkers in an interview?

I’ve been interviewing for a new job recently, and I’ve noticed that I’m frequently getting asked how I deal with difficult coworkers. I have what I think is a satisfactory response to that question, but what I’m wondering is if there’s a way for me to follow up on that question? I understand that there are challenges in any workplace, but I’ve had an unfortunately streak of really bad coworkers – some just outright mean people – and I’d like to know in advance what kind of situation I might be walking into.

I was thinking that, when they ask if I have any questions for them, I could say something like “To follow up on your question about coworkers, what kinds of difficulties might I encounter in this position?” Is there a better way to ask that?

I might say it this way: “You asked about difficult coworkers. Are there particular types of challenges that come up in that regard that you’d want this person to be prepared to deal with?”

But be aware that whether you get an answer that really gives you the low-down is something of a crapshoot. Lots of interviewers don’t feel comfortable being direct about this kind of thing, even though it’s to their benefit to have a pretty candid discussion of it.

2. Should I apologize for a horrifically bad cover letter?

I recently wrote a cover letter for an internship and, at the time, thought it was pretty decent. I read a bunch of articles on how to write an outstanding cover letter and felt that I got a handle on it.

But after a couple of days I reread it and realized what I had written was terribly informal and really reaching for stories on how my experience would make me qualified.

The last thing I want is to be labeled as one of those bad cover letter writers that gets published on your site and would really like to send an email apologizing for my horrific cover letter. Do you think that would be a good idea?

No. You really only get one shot at a cover letter per application. Plus, apologizing for a “horrific cover letter” is going to come across really strangely. Let it go.

Also, it probably wasn’t actually horrific, especially if the worst offense was being informal — which is actually a good thing in a cover letter, to a point.

(Also, just for the record, I don’t think I’ve ever published bad cover letters here.)

3. Going around my staffing agency to apply for a job directly with a company they sent me to

A staffing agency sent me on an interview with a company, and the company really liked me. The problem is from the interview it seems like the job would be a lot more work than the pay the staffing agency is offering me. The company also mentioned that I can apply directly through them. How do I go around my staffing agency and avoid accepting a temporary job with very low pay to have a chance to apply directly to the company to be hired permanent? And are there any other options I should consider that I’m not aware of?

Your staffing agency’s contract with the employer (and probably with you) almost certainly prohibits doing that. It would be fraudulent, and it would be screwing over your agency.

Your agency provides a service that they need to charge for in order to stay in business, and the employer presumably agreed to their terms when they decided to work with them. Do you really want to defraud them out of the money they’ve earned? That’s a crappy thing to do. Don’t do it. (Plus, consider what it says about this employer that they’re contemplating doing that.)

4. How can I tell a prospective employer that I’d like 4-6 weeks off every summer for a family business?

After being unemployed since April, I found a great position in a new city (out-of-state, I have been trying to relocate). After a phone and then Skype interview, I was asked to come in for a face-to-face next week. I really want this job – it is entry-level, but at a nonprofit in the same field I previously worked in for 5 years. The pay is good, the people seem great, and I know I would be a good fit and enjoy the work. I am flying for the interview on my own dime, gladly. They seem really interested.

Problem is: I have a seasonal family business in the fisheries that I travel out of state (to Alaska) to work at every summer (for the past several years) for 4-6 weeks, depending how much time I can get off from work. I love this work so much, and I make really good money doing it. My previous agency (same type of nonprofit) always allowed me to take an unpaid LOA. Last year it was 4 weeks, which I was grateful for. I would pay my own health insurance during this time, and my employers were always able to get a former employee to fill in and temp. It worked out great, and I think it says something about my performance as an employee that they agreed to this.

Ideally, I would like to continue in this business. But how do I tell my potential new employers about this? At the final job interview? If I get a job offer? A month before I actually plan to leave? Abandon the plans for the summer to get the job? I want to be ethical and considerate but I also really want the job.

Wait until you have an offer, and try to negotiate the time off at that point. Also, decide ahead of time if it will be a deal-breaker for you if they say no. Definitely do NOT wait until you already have the job, let alone a month before you plan to leave — at that point, the chances of them saying yes go way down, and the chances of them being really annoyed that you didn’t speak up earlier go way up.

5. Do I have to tell an employer I’m talking to that I was just laid off?

A recruiter contacted me a few weeks ago about a really exciting position and asked if I’d be interested and if I’m looking to leave my current job. At the time, I said that I’m always open to new opportunities, but that I really enjoy my job so I’m not actively looking to leave. That said, I still went through the first round of interviews (which I thought went really well) and am scheduled to go back next week for second rounds. Then yesterday, I was laid off from my current job (along with more than half my team) so now I’m wondering how to approach this for the remainder of my interviews with the new company. Do I just pretend that I’m still employed? Is there something else I can say without actively volunteering the information?

You don’t need to proactively mention it, but don’t say anything misleading, and if it comes up, you should be straightforward and honest about it. But there’s no need to make a specific announcement to them about it.

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