Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Turning down a promotion to keep my income within the range for a co-op building

I live in a city with really expensive rent. Even though I like my roommates, I’ve wanted to live by myself for a long time. I finally found an affordable place where I wouldn’t have to have roommates—a large studio apartment in a co-op building. It’s a really good building close to my work with lots of amenities. It’s the type of place that once I’m in, I will live there the rest of my life if I can help it. The catch is that acceptance into the co-op is based on income. Applicants have to make between $43,000 and $53,000 annually to be accepted. Right now I’m in that range. (Once you’re accepted you can make whatever—the range is only for being accepted.)

In the past few months, my boss has told me that she wants to promote me and that would put me in a higher pay grade that would knock me out of the pay range to be accepted into the co-op. Unfortunately, the raise wouldn’t be enough to allow me to afford a place on my own. She wants to promote me within the next year, but the waiting list for the co-op is such that it will probably be closer to two years until I am able to get in there. My boss knows about the co-op situation and has told me that she wants me to get it, but also really wants to promote me so that I can assist her in managing our department sooner rather than later. I’m the only person with enough seniority to help her with this. I don’t think she’s interested in waiting two years for me to get into the co-op.

So, the question is (as crazy as it sounds), how does one turn down a promotion and raise in the interest of what would be better for me in the long term (moving into the co-op)? I’d LOVE to have the raise and promotion and don’t want to lose that opportunity, either. I realize I’m incredibly fortunate to have this conundrum, and don’t want to sound as though I’m complaining, but is it possible to have my cake and eat it, too?

Would you be willing to accept the promotion if the accompanying raise were deferred until after you got into the co-op? You could explain the situation and ask if they’d be willing to do that (and get it in writing if they are). There’s some risk with this approach — the raise might never materialize down the road (although having it in writing minimizes that possibility), you might leave the company before that happens, and of course you’d be doing higher-level work without being paid accordingly for it. But if you calculate that that’s worth it to you in order to get accepted into this building, it’s one option that could work.

I’d try to avoid turning down the promotion altogether though (if it’s a promotion that you’d otherwise want). That risks putting you in a situation where you appear (especially to outside employers) to have stagnated, and that’s not ideal.

And I know you didn’t ask me about this part, but I’d think long and hard about how much you should arrange your life around this. You might not really want to stay in a studio apartment your whole life, no matter how much you want it now. Lives change, and what might be the ideal housing for you now might not be ideal in 10 years (or even less).

2. Can I give my family’s personal holiday card to my employees?

I know it is too late for this year for this question (I have already done what I’m going to do), but for future reference I would like to ask.

I manage a staff of about 8-10 people (some fluctuation) and every year I get them a modest but decent holiday gift. I put it in generic cheerful wrapping paper and usually use a holiday neutral card with it (such as a snowman). I make it clear that I do not want or expect gifts in return. However, as I was wrapping them this year, I was sitting by a pile of extra personal holiday cards my family sends out. They feature photos of my spouse and children and a simple “Happy New Year” (we stay away from religious messages in our annual card). Would it ever be appropriate to use that card in the work gifts? We work in a public facility, talk about our families, and see each other’s families when they pop in for a visit sporadically.

I would not. Those are social cards, and work is a different sphere. There are loads of good reasons for preserving the boundaries between work life and non-work life, especially as a manager, and sending your family’s personal holiday card blurs those boundaries. Stick with a more neutral holiday card if you use one at all. (Frankly, I’d also say to stop with the gifts, which I also think blurs the boundaries in an unhelpful way. Stick with some sort of food gift for the group, or — better — additional time off or letting people leave early without charging their PTO. Or cold hard cash — from the company, not you.)

3. My new boss misstated my credentials in an email to our team

My future boss just announced my position in an email and said that I have a bachelors of science in biochemistry and a masters of business administration. I do have a bachelor’s degree, but I’m still working part-time to earn my masters. This was addressed on my resume and we did discuss this on my interview. What would be the best way to address this issue without sounding rude?

It’s not rude to reply back with something like: “Just a quick correction for the record: I’m in the process of earning my masters but won’t finish until 2016. (Don’t want to claim more credentials than I have!)”

People are pretty unlikely to care too much, though, so I also wouldn’t worry about it beyond that.

4. I asked a friend of a friend to send me his resume, and it’s terrible

I work for a fun start-up that’s expanding rapidly. Our HR director has encouraged us to refer friends to him, and the company is offering a generous referral bonus. I have a friend of a friend who expressed interest in changing jobs, so I suggested that he send me his resume to pass along. He emailed it to me…and it’s bad. The formatting is terrible, it’s got way too much information (it’s two pages despite his limited job experience), and it just doesn’t make him look like a strong candidate. I actually feel that sending this resume along in its current state would reflect badly on me.

I did some formatting and made it look a lot better, but it feels dishonest to both my acquaintance and our hiring manager to send the new version along. I was thinking of maybe sending the edited version back to my acquaintance, but he didn’t ask for feedback and a resume is pretty personal. (We’re friendly but not super close.) I feel like I’ve put myself in an awkward situation since I promised the person that I would pass their resume along, but that was before I saw it. For what it’s worth, I think this person would be a good fit for our company culture and I don’t have any hesitations recommending them on that account.

Yeah, I wouldn’t pass along the version you edited; that’s presenting him as someone different than who he is.

Instead, I’d email him back and say, “In its current format, I think this won’t reflect as strongly on you as it will if you ____.” (And then fill in with some basic suggestions on formatting, length, and content.)

But if he doesn’t send you back a stronger version, I’d be wary about referring him at all. If he ends up not being great, it’s going to reflect on your judgment — and you want to preserve your ability to vouch for stronger candidates in the future.

5. Resigning when I can’t give two weeks notice

I recently was offered a mid-level job that pays triple what I currently make and is an amazing opportunity. The only stipulation is that I start almost immediately so I can attend the company’s parent company annual training for mid and senior level employees (which is out of state). This leaves me with a one week notice to my current job. I explained that I would like to leave on good terms with my current company and pushed for an additional week to give notice. They completely understood, but wouldn’t budge and gave me a week to think over the offer. I am going to accept, but how do I approach my current company when giving notice?

You explain the situation and that you tried hard to get more time, apologize profusely, and offer to do whatever you can to help with the transition (including offering to be available for questions for a few weeks after moving on, if you’re open to that).

By the way, I’d normally be very wary of an employer that refuses to let you give two weeks notice, unless they appear to really get that this is a bad position for you to be in, and unless they’ve indicated they wouldn’t normally do this but are constrained by something unusual (in this case, the training conference). If they’re cavalier about it, I’d take that as a red flag about their likely level of consideration for you once you’re working there.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. An angry eBay buyer is threatening to contact my employer

My husband and I have a joint eBay account that is technically in my name. We’ve had it for over 10 years with no issues. We don’t have an eBay business; we just occasionally buy stuff and now and then sell stuff, like extra books, gifts we can’t return, items that have been upgraded with newer versions, etc. Recently my husband sold an item that ultimately, the buyer wasn’t happy with. He instructed the buyer on how to resolve it, but the buyer wasn’t happy with that either. At that point the buyer started sending emails threatening to report us to eBay. Which was fine, starting a claim was what he should have done. Then he started threatening bad feedback. That escalated to threatening to write on my Facebook page and telling everyone he knows how terrible we are. This is ridiculous since I don’t have a Facebook page related to selling stuff on eBay because again, we don’t run a business. Finally he threatened to go to my employer and have them make me pay. This got my attention because he named my employer. I don’t have a common name, so obviously he found me on LinkedIn.

At this point, I reported him to eBay for harassment. Part of me thinks that if someone at my company got this complaint from him, they’d scoff at it and send it right to the circular file. But I don’t want to assume that and am wondering if I should give my manager and/or HR a heads up that this guy could be contacting them? For the record, I work for an insurance company, and I certainly don’t sell anything related to my company on eBay or anywhere else. I’m not a broker and I don’t work in sales. I don’t represent my employer anywhere on eBay or any other ecommerce website. So I’m not sure what he intends to gain by contacting them. Any insight you could provide would be helpful.

This guy sounds like a lunatic, and “I’m going to tell everyone you know what a terrible person you are!” tends to be a statement made by people who know they don’t have any real recourse. It’s very, very unlikely that your employer would care about a private eBay dispute you’re having (or actually, your husband is having), and if this guy were bizarre enough to contact them about it, it would most likely make them think he was a loon.

That said, to give yourself peace of mind, it would be totally fine to give your company a heads-up, saying something like: “I feel ridiculous even mentioning this, but I’m being harassed by someone following a transaction on eBay. I’m handling this directly with eBay, but the person seems a bit unhinged and has most recently threatened to contact my employer, so I wanted to give you a heads-up just in case he really does. It’s not a big deal and I’m confident we’ll be able to put it to rest soon, but I didn’t want you to be confused if he really did try to contact you.”

2. How a manager should tell her staff she’s resigning

I can’t seem to find much on your site or anywhere that addresses specifically what the best way might be, as a manager, to tell employees that you are leaving (there’s a lot of advice out there for how to tell your boss). I have known I’m leaving my current place of employment for several months, and my boss and I have a good relationship, and she has known for a while now as well. The hold-up is some background check processes for my new job.

I am finally at the point where I can hand in my formal resignation (with a month’s notice) and am not sure of the best way to tell my group of 10 employees. I am not leaving because I am disgruntled or unhappy, but for other personal reasons and it is all very amicable. However, I also doubt a replacement will be hired to take my place for several months. I am doing what I can to put everything in order before I leave. But I am struggling with whether to tell everyone individually in a sort of blitz of one-on-one meetings, or whether to tell everyone at a scheduled staff meeting, when they will all be together. I am leaning towards the latter, as I’d like to turn it into a constructive conversation (and then follow up with separate meetings later). But is there an etiquette for this type of thing?

Telling people as a group or in individual meetings is fine, but if you do the latter, make sure that you have those individual conversations pretty close together, because otherwise word is going to start leaking out and people are going to be anxious about why they don’t officially know yet.

As for what to say, just be straightforward — moving on from a job is a very normal part of business, and people won’t find it scandalous until you seem guarded or weird about it (in which case they’ll start speculating on why).

3. Is a cheetah print dress appropriate for work?

I have a cheetah print dress that shows no cleavage, is knee length, and has sleeves. I was wondering if you think it would be appropriate to wear to work as a teller in a bank with black pantyhose and black flats.

This is a question that depends entirely on the culture of your workplace. There are some offices where this won’t raise an eyebrow and others where it would be inappropriate. I don’t know which is the case for your workplace … but I can tell you that banking tends to be a pretty conservative field and animal prints — particularly a whole dress of animal print, as opposed to an accessory like a scarf — are often considered overly flashy for conservative environments. Because of that, if you’re in doubt, I’d err on the side of caution.

4. We have to give two weeks notice for doctor’s appointments

Is it unreasonable for a manager to request 2 weeks notice for a doctor’s appointment (missing 2 hours or less of work)? I work front desk, so I understand the need to have time to find people to cover, but this seems excessive to me.

Nope, it’s not reasonable. It would be great if all doctor’s appointments could be scheduled that far in advance, but by their nature, they often can’t. If you suddenly get sick or break a bone, you’re not going to be able to give a heads-up two weeks ahead of time. Your manager could certainly explain that she prefers that kind of notice when it’s possible, but making it a strict requirement would be ridiculous.

5. Charging a full day of PTO when the office closes early

Recently, one of our employees had taken a day of PTO. Due to extenuating circumstances, the employer ended up closing the office at noon. The employee was charged for the entire day of PTO even though the employer determined to close the office for half of the day. Should that employee still be charged for the full PTO time?

Different employers handle this differently. Some will do what yours did; others won’t charge the full PTO. For employers who do charge the full amount, the argument is that there’s benefit to being able to have a guaranteed full day off that you can plan on in advance, whereas the employees who came to work that day didn’t have that.