Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworkers are going to my dad about problems with me

I recently started working at the same school that my father has taught at for over 30 years. He is actively involved in various aspects of the school and he is well respected by just about everyone in the district. (It’s a large district, but the superintendent knows him by name, which almost never happens.) Realistically, I know that has some role in my being hired, but I am qualified for the job; in fact, I’m overqualified (the job requires an associate’s degree, I have a master’s degree). While I don’t think anyone thinks I shouldn’t be there, there is a tendency to defer to my father, even though he’s not my supervisor. Generally, I want to know how to address this matter so it doesn’t interfere with my work.

More specifically, recently, I made a small mistake that seems to have upset a coworker, perhaps even disproportionately so (I knocked on her door to ask a question at what was apparently a bad time). While I think this is the sort of matter that can be handled without getting anyone else involved (this being the first time I’ve met her, so obviously not a recurring problem, and it won’t happen again), as the party in the wrong, I admit that maybe I’m not the best to judge what is or isn’t a big deal. However, she didn’t go to my supervisor, she went to my father. So, I’m torn because I want to avoid this lady, but I also feel like I need to address the fact that I’m clearly being treated as if I’m under my father’s guardianship. What do I do?

You need your dad to agree not to play into this. If people come to you about matters involving you, he needs to say, “When we’re at work, Lucinda isn’t related to me. You should address this directly with her.”

If it becomes an ongoing issue, you might need to say something similar to the culprits, but I bet you can solve the whole thing if your dad refuses to participate in it.

2. My employer requires all employees to back into parking spaces

I work for a mid-sized corporation. A new parking policy has been introduced, which requires all employees to back into parking spaces. I don’t like this because it takes longer to park now and because I am terrified of hitting the cars on either side of me when I am attempting to back in. When I questioned the reason for this policy, I was told it was for employee safety and that it would prevent people from backing out of a parking space and hitting someone who was walking by or another car. I feel the odds of me hitting someone are something are greatest when I am trying to wedge myself and my car in a tight space, while in reverse. What do you think of this policy and do you think it is logical?

I have no idea, without knowing more about the parking situation. But regardless of how reasonable it is, if you make a big deal about it, it’s not likely to reflect well on you — most people will think this is a pretty minor thing, and major pushback on it will seem out of place.

For what it’s worth, I once lived somewhere that required residents to park that way and I was highly annoyed — but I discovered that it was pretty easy after the first week of doing it. (And then I never lost the skill, which has been handy.)

3. Since I can’t contact job candidates’ current managers, how can I know if they’re hiding problems at a current job?

I’m a manager in training for a mid-size level retailer and am completely brand new to hiring, I have a concern regarding job applicants who check “no” on “may we contact your employer” for current employers. I’ve read your articles and if memory serves me correctly, this should not necessarily raise a red flag because employees don’t want their bosses to know that they’re job searching. Understandable.

My concern is if they check “no,” is there any way to try to find out if they’re hiding anything (i.e. performance issues, tardiness, etc.?) Like I said, I’m new to hiring, so the answer may be as simple as there may not be much that can be done. I mean, if I bring someone in for an interview, is there any way I can address that concern with the interviewee without being overly suspicious that something could very well be wrong? Any recommended questions that I could ask?

It’s definitely very normal for candidates to request that their current employers not be contacted, since that can jeopardize their current jobs. And yeah, that means that if there’s something going on with their current job, you probably won’t get to hear about it — but you can certainly ask about why they’re looking for a new job, and what challenges they’ve experienced there.

I wouldn’t worry too much that there’s some dark story you won’t be able to uncover, as long as you’re doing a thorough job of checking references from previous jobs (and making sure to talk to past managers, specifically). Someone who has glowing references from their last three jobs is unlikely to have suddenly become a different person at their current position. It’s patterns that really matter most anyway, and you’re going to get a good sense of that from the past managers.

4. Interactive, web-based resumes

With the digitization of our world, what is your opinion on interactive, web-based resumes? The content would be as professional as expected (based on the posts you’ve made regarding how to write good resumes and cover letters). But it would be web-based and has a bit of interactivity (more organized links, sections, etc. and maybe with a bit of light animation when you click on menus). I’ve seen a few in the past, but they are few and far in between and usually for design-related positions where the individual needs to demonstrate their visual and programming skills. But for regular white-collar jobs… what do you think?

Nope. People keep looking for creative ways to improve on the traditional resume, but the vast, vast majority of hiring managers prefer the traditional resume because it serves their needs the best. Traditional resumes are easy to scan and quickly find information in, and they can be easily input into electronic applicant systems. That’s seriously all we want. Don’t mess with it!

5. Can I ask for a paycheck advance?

I work for a small business that provides home health care. As you can imagine, I depend on my vehicle to get to my clients’ homes. My car recently broke down and is going to cost me about $600. I’ve turned everywhere. The bank, credit cards, installment loans, family, friends, etc.all have been denied. I have nowhere else to turn and I’m running out of options and money. I’m depending on my friend’s car to get to work but that option is running low as well. Am I in a position to ask my manager (owner of the company) for an advance to help me pay for the repairs?

In general, I’d avoid doing that if at all possible, but if you’ve truly exhausted all other options, you don’t have a lot to lose — if the alternative is being unable to get to work, then this isn’t crazy to ask. Just make it clear that it’s not something you’d ask if you had other alternatives, and that you understand the answer may be no.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Can I ask to leave early on my second day of work to attend my son’s preschool concert?

I have just accepted an offer with a company two weeks ago and will be starting my new job in 2 weeks. I just found out that my 3-year-old has a Christmas concert in his preschool on the second day of my first week at my new job. I would really like to attend his concert but am not sure if it is acceptable to leave early on my second day. I was wondering if I could ask my manager if I could leave early to attend my son’s concert.

My new workplace is 1-1/2 hours away from my son’s preschool and I’m starting my new job as a supervisor. I have a meeting at my new work a week before my start date, and I’d like to ask my manager if it is ok to leave early when I see him at the meeting.

I wouldn’t. It’s only your second day and your new manager and colleagues don’t know much about you yet. You don’t want one of the first things they learn to be “she’s cutting out early on her second day for an optional thing.” Fairly or unfairly, it’s likely to start people wondering if you’re going to frequently want to leave early or come in late, and it’s likely to raise questions about how well you follow professional norms (which usually dictate not doing stuff like this during your first week — unless it’s truly unavoidable, like a time-sensitive medical appointment).

2. Responding to secondhand gossip about yourself

What is the best way to handle hearing secondhand gossip about yourself in the workplace? My coworker, Cathy, told me that our manager told her that I had “tattled” about some disproportionate behavior Cathy exhibited after I made a mistake and performed a duty I had been asked not to perform in the past. This was after our manager held a team meeting to discuss the mistake I made, and the behavior that Cathy exhibited afterwards.

It really put a bug in my ear hearing that my boss allegedly thinks I “tattled” like some kind of petulent child whose concerns aren’t warranted. At the same time, Cathy is a known gossip, and does not seem to let go of past wrongs easily or willingly.

I’m put in an awkward predicament: do I ask my manager if what Cathy says is true, thus revealing Cathy as a gossip (instead of speaking to Cathy directly about how badly that bugged me), or do I trust that the manager will approach me with any severe problems with my performance, as she’s promised to do, and just let this instance go? I will tell Cathy I don’t want to hear gossip anymore, and I’ve already told her not to tell me if/when the manager says things like that about me.

Let it go. This already sounds like a fair amount of drama, and you’re better off not adding to it by reopening this with your manager. I don’t think you have much to gain by that discussion, and you probably have something to lose. I think asking Cathy not to share those sorts of things with you was a good move.

3. I’m not allowed to know the salaries of the employees who I manage

About eight months ago, I was promoted to director at the small company where I work. I now oversee a department that had already existed prior to my promotion. At no time was I informed of any of that department’s salaries. When it came time to do a review for the head of that department, I completed the review form and asked for his salary information so I could figure out what raise would be appropriate. I was told to give him the review, letting him know that I recommended he be given a raise, and to have him see my boss for details. I have no idea how much of a raise he is getting or if it’s fair. I have no control over it whatsoever. Am I right to feel uncomfortable about this? I’ve been in management over 18 years and have never experienced such a thing.

Yes, this is weird and not at all typical. Managers generally know what the people working for them are earning, and if for some reason they don’t, they can generally find out. Your boss is going to some odd lengths to keep that information from you. I’d ask about it, saying something like, “I’d like to know what the people working for me are earning so that I can have open discussions with them about raises, retention, and so forth. Is there a reason you’d prefer not to share that information with me?”

4. Will stretched ears impact my job prospects?

Is it okay to have stretched ears at an interview if the jewelry is simple, like plain and black plugs that aren’t bigger than 2 gauge? Will college professors consider scholarships with them? I’m 16 and I will graduate at the age of 17. Can I get a decent job besides retail with them? If I move to a place like Ohio or Colorado, will it help? Will wearing simple jewelry help or will they still notice and hate them? I hate normally sized earlobes. I would like these questions answered so I should know if it’s okay to begin stretching. My cousin had a friend who had them and had to get plastic surgery because no one would hire him.

Background: a two gauge is not permanent and can be sized down. It’s the last size where this is possible.

I don’t think college professors will care much, but employers definitely will. While there are some employers who won’t care, it will significantly limit your job prospects with loads of employers (maybe the majority) who are squeamish about ear stretchers.

My advice: Don’t do anything at 16 that will limit your options when you’re an adult. Wait until you see what kind of career you end up in and what kind of options you have, and then decide what makes sense for you.

5. My phone cut out during what might have been a hiring-related call

Recently I have been applying online for jobs in my field of study. I have received a few calls from unknown name and numbers that were human resources, which is good, but today I received another call from an unknown name and number. I picked up and said hello, and the woman said, “Hi, is this (my name)?” I said yes, and as soon as I said yes my phone died on me. Terrible time for a brand new phone to die. I was not familiar with the voice and was debating whether it was a hiring manager of some sort. I quickly charged my phone but didn’t not receive a voicemail or another call from the blocked number. Would a hiring manager or human resources see this as me “hanging up” on them, when it was a total accident, and not call back or send an email in regards to the position?

It’s likely that they assumed it was a dropped call, and in most cases they’d call back. Since they didn’t, there’s a decent chance that it wasn’t an employer. Or maybe it was — but there’s really nothing you can do about at it at this point since you don’t know who it was. I’d put it out of your mind and move on.