Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker shared my salary info because she was angry at me

My coworker was just recently made office manager, and it has gone to her head. I am the bookkeeper here. She knew nothing about my job. Recently the owner decided to have her learn my job just in case something were to happen where I could not come into work for a long period. We got into a disagreement and she ended up telling a coworker what I made and what another person in the office made.

The owner has always said that payroll is to be kept confidential at all times. We are very upset by this because we feel it was a violation of our privacy. I really do not think the owner is going to do anything about it. It is very unfair to us. Is there any law about an office manager giving out information about your wages just because she was mad? I want to know what I can we do if the owner of the company does nothing.

If the owner of the company doesn’t do something about it, there isn’t really any other recourse. There’s no law that prevents sharing this information. However, she was way out of line and showed that she can’t be trusted to handle the information her job exposes her to professionally and discreetly, and that’s something that should really concern her boss.

I’d go talk to the owner and say, “You’ve made it very clear that payroll information is confidential. Jane shared my salary without my permission because she was angry. I’m concerned at the privacy violation, and her ability to have access to other confidential information about me that her job exposes her to. Can you make it clear to her that this isn’t okay to do?”

2. I’m interviewing for the same job as my former employee

After working as a manager for four years at org A, I accepted a new job at an organization (org B) in a new city. I decided the position at B wasn’t a good fit, so I decided to apply to a management position in the city I used to live in at org C. Before I was contacted for the interview at C, an employee (Jane, we’ll say) I directly managed from A sent me an email asking to be a reference for her for the same job I had applied to at C. I was pretty bummed to say the least, because Jane has no management experience (I hired her for her first job straight out of college) and doesn’t meet many of the qualifications of the job, so I was surprised she was being interviewed instead of me. Not knowing what else to say, I agreed to be her reference. I would give her a reference for any other position, so I didn’t feel I could turn her down for this one simply because I wasn’t chosen.

Well, lo and behold, I was contacted after all and brought in for an interview for the position a week later. I think the interview went pretty well (no guarantees of course), and I’m wondering how I should handle this. Will the organization be likely to use me as a reference for Jane if I’m also competing for the same position? Should I let Jane know that I’ve applied, and suggest that she find another reference? Should I let her know I’ve also been interviewed? Or, should I wait until I’ve been offered the position (if I am offered it, that is)? I would be happy to get the job, but feel terrible and like I burned a bridge with her. I don’t want her to think that I “stole” the job out from under her, or am trying to.

Well, ideally, as soon as Jane contacted you about a reference, you would have told her the situation: “Oh, how funny — I actually applied for that job myself! I’d be glad to be a reference for you, but I want to be transparent with you that I’m hoping to be considered for it too. Totally understand if you’d rather use someone else though.”

It’s hard to know how to perfectly field tricky stuff in the moment though, and it’s not a disaster that you didn’t do it. It just complicates things a little bit, because now Jane will potentially wonder if you applied after she tipped you off to the job. But all you can really do is be straightforward about it. I’d contact her now and say, “I want to let you know that I’m interviewing for the X job with Y company. (I’d applied before we talked about it, and should have mentioned it when you emailed me — sorry for my brain freeze!) I’m still glad to be a reference for you if you’d like me to, but felt I should be up-front about it.”

As for whether they’d ask one candidate for a reference for another, probably not — but it’s not inconceivable. Even if they don’t, though, if you end up getting the job you’ll still need to fill Jane in, and it’ll probably go over better if you do it at this stage rather than later.

3. Telling a temp I think she’d make a good addition to our team

Is it really unprofessional of me to tell someone who works for my company temporarily that I think they’d make a good permanent addition to the team, and that if a place comes up I would put a word in for them? My colleague thinks I was out of bounds saying this to a temporary member of staff. I felt so bad that I went back and clarified that there isn’t a position open now and explained about our long timescales even when new positions are proposed.

No, that’s a completely normal thing to do, assuming that you’re in a position to assess the person’s work and truly think it’s good. There’s nothing inappropriate about that at all, and people do it all the time. Your colleague has weird ideas.

4. Explaining why my boyfriend isn’t attending my office holiday party

My boyfriend does not want to attend my office holiday party, for very valid reasons. To keep it short, I am unhappy in my position and the office environment is (much) less than favorable. He has attended the party every year that I’ve been employed here, but this year, he’s had enough. I feel obligated to attend, so my question to you is this: How do you suggest I go about giving an explanation as to why my boyfriend will not attend this year? I do not want to lie, but I don’t know that it’s necessarily the polite thing to tell them that he doesn’t want to go because they treat me poorly/he doesn’t like them.

“He had another commitment that he couldn’t get out of.”

Saying that he didn’t want to attend because he doesn’t like them or how he treats you would be rude. Telling a white lie is polite in these situations (and really, his other commitment could be hanging out on the couch); in fact, this type of situation is what white lies were made for.

Also, no one is going to scrutinize that too much. People get that significant others have other things going on, and that they might not reschedule existing plans for someone else’s office’s holiday party.

5. Can I use a UPS store address on a background check?

I am applying for jobs out of state and have been using a UPS store address as my address in the state, though I am actually not there. I am about to complete a background check for a staffing agency and wanted to know if me listing the UPS store address will cause any red flags. Will it show as a UPS store address or come back invalid because outside of the UPS store I don’t have any real ties to that state?

Are you listing it as a mailing address or your residence? It’s fine to list it as a mailing address, but you need to be clear that your current residential address is out of state. Otherwise, yes, it could very well cause issues on the background check.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I tried to organize walks with coworkers, but the company scheduled its own activity over it

I work in a place that encourages others to take leadership in making the company a better place to work; it’s actually part of our evaluation tool. So, as the holidays are coming up and people don’t always make healthy choices during holidays, the company started a way to be supportive of one another with better decision-making about food and exercise, etc. In response to this, I replied to the email asking if anyone would be interested in starting a walking club a couple of times a week. (The company-wide email is perfectly acceptable in my organization). I got a lot of positive responses (though no official company sanction) and we chose two days and times to start with. Excellent. Emails were exchanged (cc:all) for several days.

Except, the very next day, the person heading up the wellness initiative sent out a company-sponsored flier announcing a more hardcore workout (but saying it can be modified for all fitness levels) and the days and times conflict with the times we had decided to start walking.

I’m irritated, and I don’t know how to proceed. I know this isn’t some enormous problem, but it’s annoying. I feel that if my suggestion had been inappropriate or stepping on someone’s toes, they had plenty of time to talk to me about it, and I feel it is disrespectful to schedule in a way that conflicts with the other stuff. I feel like I either need to say something, or at minimum change the previously agreed upon times for walking, because I don’t want people feeling like they have to choose. So my question is: what do you suggest? Should I say something? What? Should I change my times?

Honestly, I feel like canceling the whole walking thing altogether. I branched out of my comfort zone, and now I just want to go back to keeping my head down.

I … think you’re way overreacting. It’s very unlikely that the company-sponsored workout was deliberately scheduled at the same time as your walking club; it’s probably a coincidence, and whoever scheduled it probably wasn’t paying attention to when your walks were scheduled for.

If you’re concerned about people having to choose, why not just change the times you’d settled on? Yes, that’s mildly annoying, but it’s not worth canceling the whole thing or staying angry over.

2. Negotiating salary when coming from the military

I’m an active duty Air Force officer looking at potentially transitioning to the corporate world in the wave of military drawdowns the force is facing. I have taken the transition assistance classes, and am working with a military focused recruiting company to find my dream job assuming I make the cut. All of this has prepared me well to negotiate, and your site has helped a lot but I’m seeing a large trend with people asking what you used to make and I’m a bit concerned here.

My pay is pretty much a matter of public record. For having x number of years in, and knowing my rank anyone can look up how much I should be making, however there is a large amount of my pay that comes from a tax-free housing allowance. I know how much you dislike employers basing salary on previous work and not what you will be doing but I’m also a realist in knowing I may have to jump that hurdle at some point. How do I explain to people that because a full 20% of my compensation is completely tax free and all of my compensation is state tax free, my salary shouldn’t be based off of what I used to make but what I am worth?

I know you are against people lumping in benefits when discussing salary, but in this example my monthly base pay is $5,415 and my housing is $1,560. Is it fair for me to include those and other entitlements, such as special pays and other allowances, into my total salary if and when I’m asked about my current salary?

It’s absolutely reasonable to bring it up, but don’t just lump it all together as “salary,” because that’s not strictly accurate (and you risk causing confusion if they try to verify it). Instead, I’d just explain what you have here: “Well, the military handles compensation differently. My salary was $X, but much of that was tax-free, and I received a $18,720 housing allowance. What I’m looking for in a civilian role like this one is something in the range of $Y-$Z.”

3. I feel guilty about job searching after my employer gave me generous medical leave

I have been on my job for almost two years now. This is a high-stress, low-paying job that has high turnover. It was a position that used to be held by two people but because of budget cuts only one person is doing this job with the exact same workload. When I applied, I figured I’d stay a year and then move on like everyone else. Well, about a year in, while I was looking for a new position to transfer to within the agency, I had an auto accident, broke some bones, and was out for almost three months. Management was super nice! They even gave me a few weeks of extra sick leave that I hadn’t yet earned so that I would receive a full paycheck when all of my leave ran out.

The job is still stressful, the workload is still overwhelming, and I’m just as unhappy with it now as I was before the accident. Actually, with all my injuries and new medical bills, I’m even MORE unhappy and stressed out than I previously was and feel myself sinking into a deep depression. Now that I’m back, I feel guilty as hell for still wanting to leave and feel as if I owe them for being so understanding while I was out and so accommodating when I got back. I don’t want management to view me as ungrateful. They know how stressful the job is. They even joked that they didn’t think I was coming back at all. I am grateful for the job, the paycheck, and benefits, but how long should I wait before applying for other positions? Six months? A full year? I’m so conflicted.

You’re not obligated to wait at all. Yes, they handled your medical leave well, but that doesn’t make you an indentured servant — and a good manager isn’t going to want you to stay in a job where you’re not happy anyway (both for your sake and for theirs). If this job isn’t right for you, you should be job searching now. Plus, job searching takes a while — you could start now and not have an offer for six months or more. (Although if you get one right away, that’s fine too.)

You can appreciate how helpful they were without letting it tie you to a job you’re not happy in.

4. Finding a part-time job in my field while working part-time retail

I recently graduated from college with the hopes of going into nonprofit work focusing on the environment. I spent the summer working on an organic farm and, once that internship was over, moved back in with my parents and got a part-time job at a big box store to be able to pay off my enormous student debt. I have continued to look for “real” jobs (as my parents like to put it), but the issue is I get paid $11.50 an hour currently, and taking a job in my field would be a cut in my hours and most certainly move me down to minimum wage. My solution to this is to find a “real” job that is part-time and work both, one for the experience and one for the money. My question is, when should I bring up that I already have a part-time job that I need to keep? Right away in the cover letter, or in the interview? And also, am I doing the right thing by keeping my current job?

My parents keep suggesting that I need to go back to school for my master’s, but I only see that making the problem worse by increasing my debt and still not being able to find a good paying job in what I want to do.

I’m not sure I’m following your logic. Yes, taking a job in your field would mean cutting your hours at the big box store, but you’d presumably be making it up by the hours you’d be working at the new job (unless you have reason to believe the new job will pay minimum wage, but most nonprofits pay even entry-level staff more than that).

In any case, I wouldn’t confine yourself to a part-time job in your field. Part-time jobs in professional fields are usually much harder to find than full-time jobs, so you’d be putting yourself at a real disadvantage by only considering those, and you’ll be missing out on lots of employers who are only seeking full-time workers.

5. Can my resume note that my work was mentioned in two books?

My work has been mentioned in two different books (one was just a reference to the work I did, but not my name and the other mentioned my name). How do I mention or reference these in my resume (or do I at all?). Both really show my level of expertise in my particular area of work, so I’d like to include these references, but as I didn’t write the book, I’m not sure how to include this.

You could say something like “work on X featured in The History of Teapots by Barnaby Plufferton.” But I’d only do this if the book really delved into your work — if it was just a footnote or a couple of sentences, it probably doesn’t rise to the level of resume-worthy.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I’ve reached out to a company three times and haven’t heard back

I applied for a job that I’m very confident I can do to help the company achieve their vision. It’s in a creative field, and I believe that applying in this field takes a little more than just emailing over a CV and cover letter. My application was sent by post – a handmade boxed presentation containing my CV, cover letter, printed samples of my work, and a USB drive with all the documentation digitally.

Three weeks after sending the presentation, I emailed the company (only a general email is listed on their website) to check that the materials were received and to reiterate my passion for the job. Over two weeks have passed since that email, so I called the company. After a quick call where I didn’t get the impression the operator understood that I had sent my work by post, she informed me that she will find out who is “dealing with applications” and call me back. (It’s been 3 days since that call.)

Should I try and contact the director whom I know (from extensive research) is the hiring manager and whom I will be working with the most? I honestly think I this job is tailored to my skills, passion and vision and it’s remarkable (from my research) how similar the company and I are. The job listing is still up – it’s been up 8 weeks so far.

Noooo. You’ve already reached out three times — that’s two times more than they wanted you to. You also went way above what they asked for in your initial application. If you continue to try to circumvent the process they have set up for accepting and considering applications, you risk turning them off completely.

Frankly, that initial package was a risk on its own. Most employers want applicants to apply online for a reason, and aren’t thrilled when applicants sidestep clearly stated application instructions. Continuing to call after that carries a high risk of being labeled a nuisance.

They know that you’re interested. At this point, the ball is in their court. If they want to talk with you further, they’ll get in touch. Meanwhile, the best thing you can do is to put this job out of your head and move on. Do not contact them again.

2. I’m worried about how my peers will react to my promotion

I started my current job (let’s call it a senior teapot analyst) about three months ago. There are two divisions of senior teapot analysts; the first is just a “senior teapot analyst” and the second is a “senior teapot analyst” and “teapot program director” (they retain both titles). When I was hired for my position, I was told that in the future they’d like to consider me to take on the director role. In some ways, I disregarded this statement based on my previous experiences. I was told the same thing at my last job, with a definitive time frame (one year), yet when that time came, was told I didn’t have enough experience for that title. I assumed that the “future” meant at least a year, if not a few years, and I was fine with this.

My boss (the current director) has told me she wants to step down and wants me to take over, with the announcement being made next week and the official transfer happening in January. I am excited about this — my career goal for the past few years is to get the director title — but I am also worried I am going to receive ire from other staff, especially since I am only 29, have only had the credential I need for about 2.5 years (this credential is needed from analyst through senior and director) and have been working in a slightly different field for the last five years. Most of the analysts are the same age as I am and although I have more work experience (and a much bigger network), I feel really strange even being in the senior role, let alone as a director. To compound this, I now work with someone I went to school with, who is my exact same age and finished her credential two years after I did. She is only an analyst, rather than a senior. The other senior analysts are older than me and have been at the organization much longer than I am. They are, however, in other divisions, so it makes sense for me, as the only senior analyst in my division, to take the directorship.

My boss and the vice president seem confident and eager for me to take this role, but I want to do it in a way where I don’t make others feel cheated out of the opportunity or that I am too young and “green” to do this. Perhaps it’s because I myself feel this way, but I know I don’t want to forego this opportunity. My boss wants to stress, in the announcement, that this is her idea and its because she wants to step down, but I still feel there will be questions. What can I do to be successful with this promotion and avoid pissing off my coworkers in the process?

Read this, because you have imposter syndrome.

29 is not a child, so no, it is not outrageous that you’ve earned this. You acknowledge that you have more work experience than the other analysts. Your boss and your VP are confident that you’ll do well in the role. You don’t seem to have any qualms about that yourself; you’re only worried that it will be an issue for others. It’s highly unlikely to be an issue for others, but if it is, that’s a problem that’s 100% on their side. It’s not about you.

Read this about impostor syndrome, read this about managing former peers, and congratulate yourself on your promotion.

3. My job offer is being held up by an admin who doesn’t seem too concerned

I’ve been looking for a job for months. I hadn’t seen any light until recently, when I was called for an interview. It went great, and they called me for a second interview (I had to go in a hurry to the second interview since the secretary didn’t inform me quickly). The second interview also went great (it was last Thursday). The manager told me they’d send me a job offer as soon as possible and I would hear from them the very next day (last Friday).

I didn’t receive the offer Friday. I called on Monday to inquire what happened, and the secretary told me she first needed to email HR; after that, I would receive my job offer almost immediately. Furthermore, she told me she hadn’t had time to send HR the email as she had been rather busy but that she would take care of it the next day. I asked her if she wanted me to remind her, and she told me, “It’s okay, but if you want you can call me tomorrow afternoon.”

I’m pretty worried as I’m starting to think she doesn’t have the slightest interest in informing HR so they can send me the job offer. I’ve thought about emailing her with a follow up while cc’ing her supervisor, but I don’t want to come as a passive-aggressive problematic candidate or start with the wrong foot. Considering I don’t even work in the company yet, I believe that would be rather risky. I feel frustrated as I don’t know what to do. Should I move on and keep looking for other jobs? Should I send the secretary a follow up email, cc’ing the supervisor? Should I just email her and wait if she decides or feels like taking action? (It might never happen.)

If this organization wants to hire you, they’re going to make you an offer. They’re not going to just not notice that their secretary never bothered to get the offer out. That said, it certainly might take longer if they don’t realize that it hasn’t happened yet.

But instead of continuing to follow up with the secretary, who has shown she doesn’t have much of a sense of urgency about it, I’d send a quick email to the hiring manager, saying something like, “I just wanted to thank you again for meeting with me last week. I’m looking forward to receiving the formal offer you mentioned and am really excited about the prospect of working together. (In case we’ve crossed wires anywhere, I haven’t received the offer yet. Let me know if there’s anything you need on my side.)”

4. Where’s my promotion?

I work in nonprofit management and have been in the same role for over 1.5 years. I have been asking for a promotion for the past 6 months now, and each time have been told that my work is at the next level, but have also been given a series of hoops and hurdles to jump over, many unrelated to my job. Though I have managed to check off each of those arbitrary tasks, each time I bring promotion up, I get a similar response.

The last straw has been that while they want to promote me, our department did not have the budget or headcount for promotions until either someone leaves or they re-budget for the new year. That sounded reasonable, but today I learn that we have been sitting on headcount that we don’t plan on using. I’m not sure what my course of action should be now, as I don’t want to seem singularly focused on getting promoted, or accusatory towards management. I also know that being passive means not getting what I want or deserve. Thus, I’m leaning towards sending my manager an email expressing my confusion over the situation, but wasn’t sure.

If you want to talk to your manager about this, do it face to face, not in email. This is a conversation, not a one-way declaration.

But you know, you’ve only been there a year and a half. That’s not usually enough time to get promoted. And you apparently started asking about it six months ago, which for most jobs would be wildly premature. You’re very antsy over something that generally wouldn’t even be under consideration for at least another year or so.

Regardless, actions speak louder than words. Your manager has made it clear that she’s not jumping to promote you. Personally, I think that’s reasonable given how little time you’ve been in your role (although she should just tell you that directly if that’s where she’s coming from), but if you disagree, you can always try to promote yourself into a job outside the organization. But I’d relax and give it a more reasonable timeline.

5. Two weeks notice when a holiday falls during the notice period

I’m wondering what the proper etiquette is for submitting your two-week notice when the second week could potentially fall in the middle of a holiday. If the office is closed (for Thanksgiving) the last 2.5 days of your last week, are you obligated to make up those days in the following week?

Well, two weeks notice is a professional convention, not a requirement. So there aren’t laws or even formal rules that govern this stuff, and there’s often room to just work it out directly with your employer. In the case you describe, it wouldn’t be crazy to assume that those two days the office are closed are included in your notice period (and thus you don’t need to extent it to the following week) — but if you have flexibility on your end and your job would be helped by having the additional transition time, it would certainly be a nice gesture to ask your employer how they’d like you to handle it.