Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I’m in training with a much slower coworker

I am training for a position as a quality assurance agent for a surveying company, and it is me and another woman training with a trainer. Today, I’ve been sitting here for more than half the day while the other woman is painstakingly going through her case slowly. I got through four cases in two hours, and she’s gone through one and a half. Is it absurd that I am just sitting here while I have obviously gotten the grasp of the work?

Probably. I’d check with the trainer and say something like, “I feel like I’ve got a good grasp of this. Is there something else I can move on to?” If she tells you there’s nothing more left to learn, then you could ask, “In that case, would it be possible for me to get started on work?” But if she tells you that there’s more training to be done but she can’t move you on until your coworker is caught up, then ask if she minds if you read the news or something else while you wait.

Also, if the training is weeks, this is worth addressing more assertively than if it’s just a day. If it’s just a day, it might just be something to suck up. (But either way, if you have the opportunity to give feedback on the training later, this is a reasonable thing to mention.)

2. Should I contact my boyfriend’s boss?

I have been planning a surprise trip to New York for my boyfriend of five year’s birthday in November. I had him ask for a total of three days off work. He is fairly new at his job, having only been there for four months, but he is given so many vacation days that he is to use by year’s end. When he mentioned the vacation days to his boss, they stated, “It should be fine, it’s your vacation days.” My boyfriend was specific about the dates I told him, but still told them that he’d confirm the days via email.

I am now only a month away, so since they told him that he should be okay to take off, I purchased flight, hotel, and tickets for a Broadway show (about $1700) without insurance. And of course, a few days afterwards, the bosses told my boyfriend that those dates are not good dates. Once he told me, I explained (without telling him where the trip was) that I have already made the purchases and to try to see if he can do anything else about it. He mentioned it right away to his boss, who then stated that we should not have jumped the gun but that he would ask anther manager for their opinion. It’s been a week and they have not brought it back up yet and since my boyfriend is still so new, he does not want to bring it up himself.

This situation needs to be figured out soon so that I can figure out what I need to do to try to get some money back. Would it be unprofessional for me to email his boss and explain the situation and that it was my fault for making purchases and whatnot?

Whoa, definitely do not contact his manager yourself. This is his to handle and you risk making him look bad by interjecting yourself into his own work situation. If they had given him approval (real approval, not tentative “email us the dates and we’ll confirm” approval), then he should talk to them and point out that nonrefundable tickets were purchased based on their okay. But if there’s any chance that their okaying the dates was tentative, he may need to let it go. Either way, though, you’ve got to leave this to his judgment to handle, since it’s his job and his relationship with his boss, and he’s the one who can best judge how to approach this.

3. Should I let my friends know I’m on the hiring committee that will be evaluating their spouses?

I was asked to be on the hiring committee for an open position in my division. These committees are a new strategy, and sometimes word gets around as to who’s been asked to participate, but there’s no real announcement of any sort. I just got the packet of applications to review, and it turns out that two of my coworkers’ spouses have applied for the position. I’m friendly with both coworkers in and outside work, but don’t know the spouses. My instructions say to keep the candidates’ names confidential, but should I mention something to my work friends out of courtesy or in the interest of full disclosure?

I wouldn’t. They don’t really have a stake in knowing, and you risk making things awkward if you end up thinking the spouses should be rejected. It’s hard to see any good that comes from letting them know, and there’s no assumed obligation to alert them. If you’re asked directly, that’s one thing — but I don’t see a reason to go out of your way to announce it to them.

4. When is it appropriate to update LinkedIn with a new job?

At what point in time after receiving and accepting an offer at a new employer is it appropriate to update your LinkedIn page (to the new employer and title)? I am within my last two weeks at my current employer, but am generally wondering if there’s a protocol for this.

I’d wait until you start, since before that it wouldn’t technically be accurate to list the new job as your current employment. But any time from your first day onward seems reasonable to me.

5. Can an employer forbid employees from talking to each other?

My husband is in an extremely hostile work environment. He just told me that the supervisor forbade the 50+ employees from talking to each other. On top of being horrible for morale and utterly dumb, I am wondering if this is even legal.

Yep, it’s legal, as long as they’re being forbidden from talking across the board. It could be illegal if the employer is only banning certain topics, and those topics are, for instance, wages and working conditions. The ability to discuss those topics is protected under federal law. But they can certainly ban social chit chat if they want to. It’s a silly thing to do, and pretty much guaranteed to create a highly disgruntled workforce and drive away good people, but they can do it if they want to.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Can I lie about my hours to get a better salary at a new job?

I have been working at the same company for 10 years, from a junior role to managerial position. It’s a very small company (less than 5 people) and has been hit in recent years by the economy; people have been laid off. I’ve only had a few small pay raises in that time, and a couple of years ago I asked for a pay increase and was refused as the company wasn’t doing well. I managed to negotiate working a four-day week along with no drop in holidays for the same pay (I do the same job but just more efficiently).

I love my job but obviously there comes a time when you have to move on and start earning what I believe is deserved. When job hunting, I’ve been told my pay is very low (about £15k + less than it should be). I’ve started lying to agencies about my salary with the intention of suggesting that would be my salary if I worked full-time. However this is still lower than I’m aiming for.

I’m now wondering if I can lie about my hours, i.e. say I work three days a week instead of four and that I freelance elsewhere in between (which I do, although I don’t earn much from it). I’m not comfortable with lying but really want my next role to be in line with the industry standard. Would a future employer ever find out my working hours, either through pay slip or reference? Or would there be a better route to getting such a huge increase?

What?! No, you can’t lie in the interview process. It would raise huge issues about your integrity, for obvious reasons, and yes, it’s easily discovered. Employers that base salary offers on what you’ve been earning are often employers who ask for verification of that information, either as part of the reference-checking stage or by requesting tax forms, pay stubs, or other documentation. And moreover, sometimes they do it after you’ve already accepted a job offer as part of their new hire paperwork, which means that you risk them pulling the offer after you’ve already accepted it and resigned your current job.

You’re better off keeping the focus on what the market rate is for your work.

2. My employer just revoked everyone’s telecommuting status

I work for a bank in a southern city. I work as a telecommuter and live 2 hours from the office. There is no public transit. I was hired under these conditions and signed up for a program called MyWork. I go in once or twice every two weeks. A lot of my hours are out of standard hours (I can be working at midnight on an issue) and I work from home during these as well.

This bank just revoked everyone’s telecommuting status. Everyone in my major metropolitan city. Thousands of people. Some of us are being offered relocation if we don’t live in the city (like me). Regardless, that disrupts families in mid school year and spouses with jobs. We’re having to deal with this during the holidays! It is obvious that if we say no, we will lose our jobs. The question is, will they fire us for cause for this? Can they?

That wouldn’t typically be considered being fired for cause; “cause” generally means a performance issue. This would be something more akin to a layoff; the nature of the role is changing so dramatically that it’s essentially being eliminated and replaced with a different one.

But if your question is more about whether you can lose your job over this and less about what it would be called: Yes. If they’re committed to eliminating telecommuting, they can require that you move or otherwise work from their office. However, you’d almost certainly be able to collect unemployment, and you should try to negotiate severance as well.

3. My former coworker copied my LinkedIn profile verbatim

A former coworker and I held the same position at different times at the same company (she was in this role first, then was laid off and I moved into that position a year later, and now have a new role). I noticed recently that she updated her LinkedIn profile about that position to be practically identical to mine. Her tagline is verbatim the unique tagline I had until a few months ago as well. Do I say anything or assume it’s a coincidence?

Unless your wording was very generic. I wouldn’t assume it’s a coincidence; it sounds like she stole your wording. But I don’t know that it’s worth speaking up about. I’d file this in your head as evidence that your former coworker kind of sucks, and move on.

4. Do I really have to spend so much time reconciling my business credit card expenses?

I travel a tremendous amount for a national nonprofit. I have a company credit card, which I am able to use for all my business expenses. There are some months when reconciling my credit card for our accounting department takes me 3-5 hours. The spreadsheet has 50-60 items on it. and I despise having to do it. I don’t have anyone else to help me and I don’t have any one to blame. When I object to the spreadsheets, the copies of receipts and the cumbersome process, I am told that our auditors demand it and the IRS demands it. I just dont believe them that I need to explain every expense – a $2 metro card? Am I just crazy? Should I just suck it up, pour some wine, and reconcile away?

What is the easiest way to do this? Am I daft?

Pouring some wine and settling in for a few hours of reconciling sounds right to me. Reconciling expenses does need to be done; otherwise, someone could scam your organization out of significant amounts of money over time.

But you might look for ways to streamline expenses — for instance, rather than having to record a $2 metro card every time you go to a meeting, see if you can buy a $50 metro card for the month and categorize it as “traveling to meetings.” (They might not let you do that if they want more specifics than that, but it’s worth asking since you’re in such a travel-heavy job.)

5. My temp-to-hire job hasn’t given me any details about salary or benefits

I’ve got a “temp to hire” job, but no details on wages, timeline, benefits, etc. have been offered, casually mentioned by coworkers, etc.

I recall a past agency explicitly forbidding its employees asking about being hired, if they will be hired, the wages if hired, etc. The working conditions aren’t the best (having to second-guess construction site addresses when Google can’t find them, no designated work area, bad lighting, etc.) and not being able to find any details on compensation (not even on the ‘net) makes me inclined to ask my agency to pull me out. It may be a wonderful job with incredible benefits, but I haven’t heard a peep about them.

Why not ask your staffing agency? It’s true that they don’t usually want you approaching the client about this stuff directly, but it’s perfectly reasonable to ask your agency for details. I can’t see any rationale for asking to be taken off the job without first telling your agency specifically what you’re interested in finding out.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss wants me to inflate people’s performance ratings

My organization really prioritizes feedback. Every month, each employee gets an individual meeting with their manager to talk about progress, performance, goals, and ways the organization can better assist the employee in achieving his/her goals.

I oversee about 20 remote employees, and I report directly to the executive director. Last week, I started working on formal performance reviews, and he asked to speak with me about my scoring. He told me that while he agrees with my scores, he thinks it will anger and frustrate people to receive a satisfactory or average mark, and therefore I should give higher scores to keep people happy even if they don’t deserve it. To me, this seems to defeat the purpose of performance reviews. I tried to explain my position to my boss, but he didn’t agree. I’m hoping to revisit the conversation soon and I’m looking for advice on how to explain to him that feedback is completely useless if it’s falsely high.

I love that our organization gives feedback, but there’s no point if I can’t discuss concerns. I know that he’s my boss and what he says goes, but I feel like it’s really important to be able to give accurate feedback. (And his personal management style tends to be “don’t give feedback until there’s a huge issue,” which I tolerate but don’t agree with.) Any advice on how to convince my boss that accurate feedback is essential? He wants our team to be successful — I just wish he’d see that accurate feedback is the only way to get there.

Wow, your boss is incredibly wrongheaded here. The purpose of feedback is to talk to people accurately about how they’re doing and where they could do better. What he’s suggesting is a horrible disservice to employees, because it would deny them the benefit of actually knowing where they stand — and potentially sets them up to be blindsided by the consequences (which could be anything from what kind of raise they receive to whether you have to let someone go at some point). It’s also a horrible disservice to the organization, because it means that people aren’t being set up to succeed in their roles (which requires being aligned with you about how they’re doing and where they could do better) and people will get worse results because of it. It’s also potentially laying the groundwork for legal hassles later — if someone is led to believe that they’re doing a great job when they aren’t and then ends up being fired or denied a promotion or given a lower raise than their peers, and decides that reason is a discriminatory one (i.e., based on their race, sex, religion, or other protected class), you’re going to have a hell of a time defending yourself against a discrimination lawsuit if you have written documentation saying their performance is awesome.

You should point all of this out to your boss. You should also point out that the way you “keep people happy” isn’t by blowing smoke up their asses — it’s by treating them well and, among other things, being honest and up-front about problems and areas for improvement. You also don’t treat people well by ensuring that lower-performing coworkers don’t get feedback about the problems; in fact, most high performers will tell you that that will quickly demoralize and frustrate them, if not drive them out of the organization.

But I don’t have high hopes here. Your boss’s thinking is so disordered on such a major piece of managing well that it’s hard to see his leadership of the organization going well in the long-term.

2. Should I ask for a lower salary?

I’ve spent my career at small companies, knowing I make less money there than in “corporate America.” I have enjoyed the intimacy and the variety in the work I do. Even with a smaller salary, I’ve always been comfortable in my life and am not greedy. When I was hired, my boss agreed to my salary expectations. But from then on, she frequently let me know that I made more money than other people in my department. As such, I did not ever ask for a raise and made sure to never complain about my salary, even though I heard gripes from my colleagues regarding discontent with theirs.

Fast forward six years, I was laid off. I feel the salary issue may have been one of the causes on why I was one of the first to go.

I was recently offered a job where I asked them to match my ending salary. To my dismay, they made a higher offer – so much higher that I am uncomfortable. This is for several reasons. First, should there be a layoff I don’t want to be in that situation as I was before. Second, that prior atmosphere was so demeaning, and I am terrified of experiencing that again. Lastly, I have many years of work left, and would like to stay with a company. I don’t want to max out (even with annual adjustments). Are you allowed to negotiate down?

Accept the salary they offered you. If it was higher than they were comfortable paying, or if it was outside their typical salary structure, they wouldn’t have proactively offered it you; they would have simply matched your last salary, as you asked them to do. They offered you a higher one because they want you fit appropriately within their existing salary structure and don’t want to pay you less than others at your level (which is smart, both in order to retain you long-term and because otherwise they risk opening themselves to later perceptions of paying less because of your race, sex, religion, or other protected class).

Don’t be haunted by one bad experience. This company is making you an offer in good faith; there’s no reason to ask for less (and doing so would come off pretty strangely).

Read an update to this letter here.

3. Should I limit the use of “I” in cover letters?

I have seen a bunch of articles cautioning the job-seeker to limit the use of “I”, “me”, “my” in cover letters, but I’m having trouble rephrasing my sentences without falling into the trap of sounding like an informercial. I was wondering what your take was on this. Any suggestions?

That’s terrible advice and makes no sense. The whole point of a cover letter is to talk about why you’d excel at the job. There’s no way to do that if you’re avoiding talking about yourself.

4. My boss brought up my absences in every performance review category

When I received my performance review, my boss was bringing up just one thing over and over and over: missing too many days.

Team player – bad because I was not there enough. Customer service – great with people but she misses too much work. Knowledge of job – Has knowledge of job but she misses too much work.

Can he do that? It seems that he should bring it up under one category.

Legally? Sure (assuming that you weren’t missing all those days due to FMLA or another legally protected form of leave). Should he, from a management perspective? It depends. It’s certainly possible that if your absences are really numerous, they’d truly be part of any reasonable person’s assessment of your performance in these areas. Or, if you didn’t really miss that much work, it’s possible that your boss is being a little obnoxious. Regardless, though, it doesn’t really matter: The message for you that’s coming through loud and clear is that your boss has serious concerns about your attendance and wants you to make pretty significant changes there.

5. Can employees refuse to go home when it’s slow?

I work in an emergency and specialty animal hospital in Connecticut. If I send non-salary employees home because it is slow, can they refuse because they want to “make their hours”?

Nope. That said, if you’re finding you often have to send people home because it’s slow, it’s worth reexamining how you’re scheduling people. If it happens regularly, you’ll start losing good people who will be rightly annoyed.