if everyone dresses casually at my new job, can I still wear a suit and tie?

A reader writes:

I’ve been interviewed by a company that has a very interesting role which I think would help develop me further and also grow in my career. Assuming I get the role and I start with them, would it be an issue if I don’t align myself to their dress code right away? I noticed that most of the employees wear casual, but I’ve been wearing shirts and ties (since I work for a big bank) over the years and admittedly have not been able to update my casual wardrobe. Would that create an issue with potential coworkers or direct reports? The role I’m applying for is a senior manager anyway. What do you think?

In general, if an office has a pretty specific dress code, it’s good to fit into it. Of course, going more formal is generally better than going less formal, but it’s still not ideal.

Clothes send signals. In this case, you risk signaling “I’m not quite a part of this team,” “I’m removed from the rest of you,” or even “I’m not quite a culture fit.”

At least lose the tie.

how to get along with your most annoying coworkers

Unless you’ve worked alone for your whole career or you’re extremely tolerant, you’ve probably had your share of annoying coworkers – the busybody who peppers you with intrusive questions, the slacker who does no work but somehow takes all the credit for yours, and a whole cast of annoying others.

Although it can feel like frustrating coworkers are just part of having a job, often there are ways to deal with them more productively and minimize how much aggravation they add to your day. Let’s look at some of the most common types of irritating coworkers and how you can neutralize their most annoying characteristics.

Meeting monopolizers

Good luck trying to have a short meeting or even stick to an agenda when you’ve got this type in the room! They’ll monopolize every meeting with long, rambling tangents, comments on every item even if just to explain (at length) why they agree, and have never heard a rhetorical question they don’t want to answer.

How to deal with them: Speak up! Meeting monopolizers get away with their behavior because no one feels comfortable redirecting the conversation. Be the one who saves the rest of your colleagues (and rescues the meeting) by saying things like:

  • “I want to be sure we get through all the items on the agenda, so let’s move forward to the next topic.”
  • “We only have 30 minutes scheduled for this meeting, so I’m going to ask people to hold comments until the end unless they’re crucial.”
  • “That’s great input, but it’s outside the scope of our meeting today, so let’s come back to Topic X.”

You might also consider talking to your coworker privately after the next meeting where it happens. Say something like, “I’ve noticed that we’re having trouble getting through all the topics we need to discuss and sticking to our scheduled time. Can you help me make sure that we stick to the agenda and the time we’ve set aside?”

Busybodies

Busybodies want – and feel entitled to – more information about your life than you feel comfortable sharing, and they can be incredibly persistent when they want details about your love life, your salary, or even your reproductive plans. They’re the ones who will ask if you’re pregnant (or trying), scrutinize your lunch choices, and demand to know why you’re not bringing a date to the holiday party.

How to deal with them: The most important thing you can do when dealing with a busybody is to remember that you’re not obligated to share personal details if you don’t want to. People often reward busybodies with answers because they feel rude not responding, but there’s nothing rude about declining to share overly personal information. It’s fine to say, politely but firmly, that a topic is off-limits. For instance, you might have these phrases loaded up and ready to use:

  • “That’s awfully personal!”
  • “Why do you ask?”
  • “I’m not comfortable talking about that.”
  • “I would rather not talk about my dating life / my birth control choices / my upcoming surgery.”
  • “That’s not something I’d like to discuss.”
  • “That’s between me and my husband/wife/accountant/doctor.”

Slackers

While you’re hard at work, slackers spend their time in hours-long texting sessions, running a fantasy football leagues, and watching every available YouTube video on cats. It’s obvious to you and the rest of your coworkers that they’re not pulling their weight, but somehow they’re getting away with it.

How to deal with them: You’ve got two choices here: You can ignore it or you can speak up about. In most cases, ignoring it is the better choice. For one thing, while it’s possible that your boss is just overlooking it, it’s also possible that she’s addressing it behind the scenes – and you usually wouldn’t know about it if that’s the case. Moreover, if it’s not affecting your work, it’s ultimately not your business. However, if it does affect your ability to do your job (for instance, if you’re dependent on your coworker to finish her work before you can do your own, or if you’re routinely having to do extra work to cover for her), then it makes sense to speak up. Ideally, you’d first speak up to the coworker directly, and then if that doesn’t work, bring your manager into the loop, keeping the focus on how it’s affecting your own productivity.

Chatterboxes

Chatterboxes talk .. a lot. They’re often particularly talented at roping you into long conversations when you’re on deadline or about to leave the office, and they tend not to take cues that you’re trying to end the conversation. They’re also often kind people, which makes you feel guilty that you’ve started cringing when you see them approaching you.

How to deal with them: Remember that you’re not obligated to let someone cut into time that you need to be spending on something else, and it’s perfectly okay to explain that you can’t talk. Try any of these:

  • “I’m actually just in the middle of finishing something. Can I stop by your office later, when I’m at a better stopping point?”
  • “I’ve got to run to a meeting that’s about to start.”
  • “I’m on deadline, so I better get back to this.”

You can also try setting a time limit for the conversation at the very start,by saying something like, “I’ve only got a minute to talk.” And if the interruption is in person, you can physically signal an end to the conversation by standing up with some papers in your hand and saying, “I’ve got to run these down the hall.”

Grumps

If you’ve ever worked with someone who exudes negativity, you know how draining it can be to interact with them. Suggestions, new projects, new hires, and especially new managers – all are terrible in a grump’s eyes, and they’ll make sure that you know it.

How to deal with them: If you’re the grump’s manager, you should address the negativity head-on. Otherwise, it can have a corrosive effect on your team over time; negativity has a way of spreading, and people may become reluctant to bring up new ideas or even share their enthusiasm. But if you’re not in a position of authority over your office grump, one of the best ways to respond is to have a sense of humor about it. If you can see this coworker as your own office Eeyore (or Stanley from TV’s The Office), it can make the constant negative remarks easier to tolerate.

It’s also worth remembering that happy people don’t behave like this, and trying to cultivate sympathy for what’s clearly a troubled mindset can sometimes make dealing with difficult people easier.

Loud talkers, music crankers, speaker phone abusers, and other noisy coworkers

You’re trying to concentrate but your coworker’s penchant for loud gales of laugher and shrieking make it tough for you to focus – every day. Or you’ve got a coworker who believes in taking all phone conversations on speaker phone or who cranks the radio or sings loudly or won’t stop whistling – or any other ongoing distraction that makes you yearn to work in a silent monastery.

How to deal with them: When you have noisy coworkers who make it tough for you to focus on your job, the best response is to simply be direct. Most noisy coworkers don’t realize that they’re causing a distraction, so rather than stewing over it, speak up!

Say something like, “Jane, do you think you could turn your music down? I’m having trouble focusing. Thank you.”  Or, “Bob, you  probably don’t realize how much the sound carries from the speaker phone, but it’s making it hard for me to hear my own calls. Would you mind taking calls off speaker phone, or closing the door if you need to use it?”

If you’re hesitant to speak up, keep in mind that if you were distracting someone else, you’d presumably want them to tell you so that you could correct it. And sure, not every coworker will feel that way, but most will – and it’s a very reasonable request to make in a professional setting.

Know-it-alls

Know-it-alls have an opinion on everything, informed or not, and love telling you how to do your job better, where you went wrong in today’s meeting, why the client won’t like your presentation, and even what kind of raise you’re likely to get this year.

How to deal with them: Know-it-alls’ power lies in the attention you give them, so your best response here is to let their unsolicited opining go unacknowledged as much as possible. Let their unwanted opinions and advice roll right off your back. If you have to reply with something, don’t gratify them by getting drawn into a discussion; instead, just say, “Thanks, I’ll think about that.”  You can also look for ways to cut them off before the get started. If you sense a know-it-all is about to launch into an unwelcome soliloquy, change the subject or excuse yourself from the conversation.

my manager keeps complaining to me about her own boss

A reader writes:

I just got a new job – a job I am SUPER excited about.

My boss, who I share an office with, is great on all accounts so far except she has one major problem that makes me feel very uncomfortable: She complains and talks horribly about her boss as soon as her boss leaves the room from having a meeting or conversation with us – two or three times a week so far. My boss’ complaining will range from saying petty and belittling remarks under her breath (I am the only one there to hear it), or she will vent to me, sometimes for 10 or 15 minutes, about how incompetent her boss is.

Being new (only two weeks), I feel like I should pay attention and be respectful when my boss talks to me. So, thus far I have listened and paid attention during these venting sessions, but I know she wants me to “agree” with her and be on “her team.” Honestly, her boss seems pretty normal and reasonable to me, but either way I don’t want to be on either team – I just want to do my work and not get caught up their problems.

Would it be better at this early stage in the game to say something polite and direct or just let it go and try to fly under the radar for a while, hoping she will get the hint? (For the record, I know it’s totally inappropriate for her to do this at all, but I like this job and need to figure out a way to deal with it.)

Ooooh, that’s a sticky situation. On one hand, you’re new, you want to stay on your manager’s good side, and this is clearly a major sticking point with her. On the other hand, you rightly don’t want to get drawn into this and you definitely don’t want your listening to ever get twisted into her telling someone else that you agree with her.

I think the answer is totally dependent on what your boss is like and what your relationship with her is like. With some managers and some relationships, you could say, “Hey, I feel a little awkward hearing this! Can I be Switzerland?” and it would be fine. With some, you could even say, “Huh. You’ve got context I don’t have, but I didn’t think what she was saying sounded horrible.” And with others, you’d be planting a poison pill in your relationship to even approach saying anything near either of these, especially if you said it while you’re so new.

So until you have a really solid sense of which of those is the case, I’d go with listening politely, staying non-commital, and changing the subject as soon as you can.

And unfortunately, I’d be pretty wary of your boss. At a minimum, she’s showing horrible judgment in saying this stuff to you. But her horrible judgment might go beyond that — extending to her assessment of her boss, and potentially even to the quality of her work (which is sometimes the case when someone hates their reasonable-seeming boss with such vitriol). So keep your eyes open for problems with her beyond this situation.

I found an ad for my own job, my manager tells us to bill for hours we didn’t work, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I found an ad for my own job

I’m supposed to have a team of four, but one of my employees transferred to another team/office three months ago. I put in a job requisition request for his replacement right away but have had no movement on this front. My team is struggling to meet all of our deadlines and doing a decent amount of overtime, but we’re making it work. I’m getting frustrated that HR has not forwarded me any resumes or set up any interviews for me. I checked our online careers page to see if the job was listed and it is, and I also happened to see that my job is listed too! (At least I’m 95% sure it’s mine because there are particular terms that only relate to my department.)

We just had our annual reviews in July and I was given a great review and a small but better than average merit increase (average was 3% and I got 3.5%). My direct supervisor also told me that I received the largest bonus out of everyone in my practice area (which is about 80 people). I met all of my bonus metrics goals, plus I received a large discretionary bonus, for a total of almost 9.5% annual bonus based on my income.

If they are unhappy with my performance and looking to replace me, why would they give me such a large bonus and praise me during my recent annual review? Why else would they put my job online unless they are looking to replace me? What should I do now?

Ask your boss about this, right now. While employers do sometimes seek to replace someone who doesn’t know it yet (although it’s generally a pretty crappy thing to do), they generally don’t do it by openly advertising the role on the company jobs page. It’s much more likely that this is a different role, or that it was posted by mistake, or some other explanation.But rather than wonder and stress about it, go talk to your boss. Say something like this: “I was just looking on our jobs page to see if the X role is listed yet and I saw a position that looks like it could be mine.”

It’s highly likely that your boss’s response will set you at ease.

That said, I’m being given a tiny amount of pause by the fact that HR hasn’t sent you any resumes for the job you’re hiring for. If they were planning to replace you, they might cut you out of the loop on hiring for that role, or even put it on hold until your replacement is hired. But there are also lots of other explanations for this (including just having a kind of lame HR department, the same kind that would accidentally post a role that sounds so much like yours). But there’s no point in speculating when you can just go ask your boss what’s up.

Read an update to this letter here.

2. My manager tells us to bill the company for hours we didn’t work

My manager has employees record extra hours, and I’d like to know what the possible repercussions to the employees could be.

I work part-time, as does every other member of our department, with the exception of management. To help out the employees, our manager has established the following pay scale:
Task A = 4 hours
Task B = 6 hours
Task C = 8 hours

If we work in excess of the hours assigned to each task, we record the full amount of hours we actually worked. But if we work less, we get a freebie, since we’re told to record the additional time. My manager says that this is to compensate for low hourly wages and vastly varying workloads, and to make everything stay under the radar–if everyone gets the benefit, no one will rat him out. What are the repercussions for the employees for doing this, if any should questions arise from upper management?

Well, you could all get fired. But it’s more likely that your manager would be the one who gets booted. He’s basically defrauding the company, unless he’s doing this with the knowledge and approval of the company’s management (which it sounds like he’s not, given your reference about him doing it for everyone so that no one will report it). And telling you to report extra hours “to compensate for low hourly wages” is pretty outrageous — the company sets the pay scale and if he takes issue with it, he should advocate for higher wages, not enlist you all in fraud.

At a minimum, I’d keep very careful documentation of his instructions to you on this, so that if/when it’s uncovered, you can show that you were following his instructions. But ideally you’d also speak up about it — either to him (if there’s a chance that the company does know, since he could clarify that for you) or to someone above him.

3. How can I ask for regular one-on-one meetings with my manager?

I work for small organization. I sometimes feel disconnected from the rest of the office. My boss and I usually exchange greetings when/if we see each other in the common areas, but some days I don’t see her at all. We rarely discuss what I’m doing unless I’m in her office to ask her a specific question, and she asks, “how are things?” I understand that she’s a busy person and she doesn’t have time to chase me down, and that I need to go to her if I need anything. So I think I want to set up some sort of weekly short one-on-one meetings with her where I could give her a lowdown of what’s going on, ask her questions, ask her if she needs me on any other projects, and also where she can give me a lowdown on things on her end that she feels I should know, but how do I politely bring this up? It was brought up as a good idea at one point a while ago, but it hasn’t been mentioned since. Could I approach her office and ask in person? Or should I send her an email to preface it?

This is a totally reasonable thing to ask for, and even more so since it’s actually been suggested in the past! Asking in person or via email is fine. I’d say something like this: “Would it be possible to start scheduling short weekly check-ins with you? I’m realizing that I don’t have a great mechanism for updating you on my work, getting your input on things, and making sure I’m in the loop on anything you need from me, and I’d love to get short weekly meetings on your calendar (or even every other week if that’s easier on your schedule).”

4. I’m going to start telecommuting, but my employer wants to change me to a contractor

My husband recently received a once-in-a-lifetime job offer that requires relocation. My employer – a nonprofit organization – is allowing me to work remotely, but they want to change my status from a full-time employee to a full-time contractor. The expectations communicated to me so far would be that I’m available during business hours and that my job would not change, except for my location. The only reason I received from my employer about why my status would change is a fuzzy answer about liability of some kind (something about insurance the employer would need to carry for having employees in another state). My organization is about 70 people, and I would be the only full-time remote employee.

As I think about this, and as I’ve learned more about the distinctions between contractors and employees, I feel pretty strongly that what I would expected to do would be in the realm of an employee. Obviously, the change has a lot of implications for me personally (taxes, benefits, etc.). I’d like to go back to my employer and discuss keeping me on as full-time remote employee, as I think their expectations of me are going to be more in line with that of an employee.

Do you have any advice on how I might handle this, or what the merits of being a contractor v. employee might be (particularly from an employer standpoint)? I know lots of people work remotely as employees (instead of contractors), so I’m trying to understand my footing of how I might approach my employer on this matter.

It’s true that having an employee based in another state will sometimes require your employer to get additional workers compensation insurance (even if you’re working from your own home), which they might not consider cheap. But it’s also true that your employer can’t just decide to treat you as an independent contractor because it will be more convenient to them; whether or not you qualify to be treated as a contractor is a matter of law, not of preference. It’s possible that your role could meet that test with a few minor changes, but they shouldn’t take it as a given.

And yes, there are disadvantages to you in that arrangement: You’ll presumably lose your paid time off, health insurance, retirement contributions, and other benefits, and you’ll be responsible for paying self-employment tax, which is about 12% of your income (although that can also be offset by your ability to deduct more business expenses). That said, if you’re the one pushing to work remotely, you might decide that those trade-offs are worth it to you. But go into it with your eyes open.

5. Following up on networking emails when you haven’t received a reply

My question is about networking. After you reach out to a new person you want to connect with professionally and they don’t respond, is it appropriate to follow up in two weeks to see if they would be interested in connecting or is that just pushy and annoying? And what’s the most appropriate way to frame that email?

I just moved to a new city and have been emailing a lot of professionals who work in the area I’m interested in (nonprofit and government work). Most of the emails I send are because another connection of mine recommended I get in touch with that person. Thus I start off all my emails with some sort of line like “X recently suggested I reach out to you,” and then give a brief explanation of who I am and why I want to connect with them. I have a very high response rate to these emails (maybe 1 out of every 10 or 15 people I reach out to do not reply) so I don’t think the problem is that I’m sending a lame networking request.

However, the people who haven’t replied are some of the people I am most interested in connecting with. I really want to send a follow-up email to those people, but I don’t want them to label me as that annoying person who keeps harassing them. I was thinking that maybe I should contact the person who originally recommended I reach out to the non-responders, but I also don’t want to harass that group of people since they are also new connections and I don’t want to appear like I can’t even email someone without help. Please advise on what the best way to handle this situation would be.

It might not be a coincidence that the people you’ most want to connect with are the ones who haven’t replied. The people who others are most interested in connecting with are often the people who are especially busy and who field a lot of these requests. That means that you might need to resign yourself to simply not getting a response from them. There’s nothing wrong with one polite follow-up after a few weeks have gone by (so a total of two emails to them) — but after that I’d move on.

And I wouldn’t try enlisting the original referrer for help — that’s too much like saying “can you please nag this person who has already had a clear opportunity to respond to me but who has chosen not to,” and that’s way too big of an ask for anyone who you don’t know extremely well and where the stakes aren’t more urgent than just wanting to make additional contacts.

is it rude to call out an employee’s name when I want them to come into my office and they’re nearby?

A reader writes:

My assistant and three other staff members’ desks are just outside my office door. From my desk, if I look up, I can even make eye contact with one person. If I call someone into my office to discuss something, sometimes I will call on the phone, but since they sit five to eight feet from my door and I have my door open, sometimes I will just call out the person’s name.

Is it disrespectful to call out a name? Should I call them via the phone even though they can still hear me? We are the only ones in this area behind glass doors.

Eh, I don’t think it’s a big deal if it’s every once in a while, but I’d try to avoid it most of the time.

While it’s your prerogative to simply call out when you want someone to call to your office, it’s a bit of a … well, not a power play exactly, but it’s not the most respectful way to approach people. Think of them doing it to you, after all; if something about that rubs you the wrong way, that’s the respect piece. And while certainly being their manager means that you can ask things of them that wouldn’t go over the same if they asked them of you, it’s a nice gesture to be thoughtful about it when the circumstances allow it.

Plus, I’m a big believer that you most of the time you should be asking people if they have a minute, rather than just interrupting them. And if you just call out someone’s name, you’re basically summoning them to appear in your office right then and there. But if you call or instant-message, you give the person the opportunity to finish their train of thought if they’re writing something, or to reply that they’re about to get an important phone call that they scheduled for one minute from now but will come by as soon as it’s done, or whatever.

That said, it’s something that will take on a different flavor depending on the dynamics of the relationship. If you have a gruff or very top-down relationship with them, it’s more likely to come across as a rather ungracious summoning. But if the relationship is warm and respectful on both sides, people might not even think twice about it.

how can my resume demonstrate initiative, problem-solving, work ethic, and other qualities?

A reader writes:

I’m currently a college student studying engineering. I keep on reading lists with titles like “Top 10 Skills and Qualities Employers Seek in College Grads.” All of the skills listed there are fairly subjective. For instance, a list might include words like teamwork, leadership, written communication, problem-solving, work ethic, initiative, and other good qualities that most people think they’d possess.

Apart from having work experience and joining clubs, are there any specific ways to show an employer at the resume stage that I am good a problem-solving or any other trait? Furthermore, how do employers who are scanning resumes at the pace of one every dozen seconds, recognize those skills?

Yeah, those lists of skills are often remarkably unhelpful, for exactly the reason you name: Most people think they possess those qualities, whether or not they actually do. Few people think, “Oh, work ethic, that’s not me” or “ha, initiative — as if!”

But many job-seekers just load up their resumes with those types of words, which is incredibly ineffective. Self-assessments from relative strangers count for basically nothing in hiring (and probably in life, too). I mean, I could proclaim that I’m brilliant and enormously charismatic, but you’d be right to be skeptical.

Instead, the key is to find ways to show that you have those traits. Employers want to see actual evidence of those things, not just proclamations. And the way you provide that evidence is to talk about what you’ve done that illustrates your work ethic, or your written communication skills, or your initiative, or whatever is that you’re trying to demonstrate. For instance:

  • “In first month, cleared out previous eight-month backlog of cases” (work ethic, productivity)
  • “Devised and implemented faster process for X” (initiative, problem-solving)
  • “Published op-eds in the WinterfellTimes and the Westeros Tribune” (written communication)

… and so forth.

The principle with resumes is always: show, don’t tell.

how to team-build — without trust falls, rope courses, or lengthy off-sites

When we hear about team-building, it’s often in the form of cringe-inducing exercises like trust falls, athletic events like rope-climbing that many people dread, or other practices that can easily cross over into violating people’s comfort and even dignity. So what are you to do if you’re a manager looking for a way to build a sense of team on your staff?

First, ask yourself whether team-building is really what’s necessary. Managers sometimes turn to team-building to fix communication, cooperation, or morale problems, but it’s rarely the right solution for those kinds of challenges. Those types of problems usually require a solution at the management and systemic level; an afternoon playing paintball or doing ice-breakers isn’t going to mend management challenges. And in fact, introducing team-building in those contexts can actually make the problems worse, because employees will be frustrated that they’re being asked to spend their time on activities that read as frivolous while the real issue goes unaddressed.

But if you’re sure that cultivating more of a sense of team and unity is truly what your staff needs, then think about team-building through measures like the following:

  • Creating ways for your team members to get to know each other better, without violating anyone’s privacy or dignity. This means remembering that what’s fun for some people (like public performances or athletic competitions) is misery for others. Look for things that are voluntary and low-key.
  • Creating opportunities for team members to get a deeper understanding of each other’s work. People don’t always have a good sense of what their colleagues are working on or what value they’re bringing to the organization, and increasing that understanding can make people appreciate their team members in new ways. But be careful – the solution to this isn’t to institute lengthy staff meetings where everyone recites a list of what they’re working on (which tends to just put people to sleep or make them antsy to get back to work). Instead, try using your role at the hub to spot opportunities to share information or connect people.
  • Creating ways for team members to have meaningful input into the direction of the team. This doesn’t mean that you should open up every decision to a vote, but rather than you should seek out and truly welcome people’s feedback into strategy and process, as well as whatever problems you’re grappling with at any given time. In fact, many artificial team-building exercises are built around group problem-solving, like having to solve a maze or build a balloon castle; skip the artificial activities and delve as a group in real-world problems your team is facing.
  • Establishing rituals. Any positive, shared experience can become a ritual. For instance, you might start holding optional monthly brown-bags about interesting developments in your field or start doing champagne toasts after major projects finish (with non-alcoholic alternatives available for those who prefer them).

And for anything you’re doing with the intention of team-building, ask yourself: Specifically how is this going to help our team get better results? If you can’t answer that, that’s a flag to rethink the plan.

I originally published this at Intuit QuickBase’s blog.

can I suggest a candidate to replace my low-performing boss, job hunting with a fragrance allergy, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Can I suggest a candidate to replace my low-performing boss?

Over the past few months, I’ve noticed that I rarely see my boss performing or producing much of anything. As his employee, I was assuming (and hoping) there was a lot going on at a higher level that I was not privy to that was consuming his time. However, last week, while I was working late and he had already left for the day, his boss came into my office and vented about how poorly he is performing, and how frustrated she is with his work. While it was inappropriate, it made me feel better, because it validated my feelings. She later apologized profusely for speaking about it to me.

I like my boss personally, and he’s been very easy-to-work-for, so I do not want him to leave and be replaced with someone I do not enjoy working for. But I also happen to have a former colleague who might be looking for a new position, and who I know could do the job at a much more efficient level. I would like to suggest this person have coffee with our director, but I don’t want to cross over a boundary or imply that I think my boss should be fired. Is this inappropriate? Is there a way to do this without seeming presumptuous? (We are too small to have an HR office that I could submit a resume to, so it would have to go directly to the director.)

Normally there would be zero way to do this; the position isn’t open, and you’d essentially be saying, “Hey, fire my boss and replace him with someone I like better.” But in this situation, your boss’s boss opened the door to the conversation by complaining to you about how bad his performance is. Given that, you could potentially pull off saying something like, “I feel really awkward about saying this, but in light of our conversation the other day, I know someone with an amazing background in X who’s actually looking for a new role — is there any scenario where it’s not horribly presumptuous for me to put you in touch with her? If I’m being wildly premature in mentioning this, I’ll forget we ever had that conversation, but I wanted to throw it out there.”

This is only workable if you have a pretty good rapport with her, but I’m taking the fact that she vented to you as evidence that you do.

Also, in doing this, you want your own mental framework to be that talking to others who can do this work well might help your boss’s boss realize that the organization can do so much better, not that she will hire the specific person you suggest– since if she’s going to replace your boss, she should go through a full hiring process and talk to a number of candidates. But sometimes talking to one great person can help push a manager to realize that it’s time to search for a replacement.

2. How can I find out a prospective employer’s policy on fragrances and toxic cleaning products?

At my current office job, I am forced to sit in a cloud of air fresheners, cleaning products, and perfume, all of which bother me intensely, aggravate my allergies, and lower my morale. I’ve tried asking the people who sit near my cubicle not to use air fresheners, but one of them refused, and honestly the problem is so pervasive that we would need an across-the-board policy to make a difference. In this big bureaucracy, it’s a lost cause.

My question is, when I search for my NEXT job (which will be soon), how can I ensure that I work at an organization that cares about indoor air quality and puts restrictions on air freshener use? This is extremely important to me – I do not want my health to be compromised by my workplace. I simply can’t sit in an office where air fresheners are constantly being sprayed or where my desk is doused in toxic cleaning products. Do I bring this up at the offer stage? How can I suss out an organization’s culture when it comes to air quality, chemicals, and employee health? To me it’s a no-brainer that toxic aerosols should not be sprayed in an office, but most people don’t seem to notice or care.

You could certainly raise it at the offer stage, like you would any other health-related accommodation that you wanted to inquire about, saying something like, “I’ve found that air fresheners and some cleaning products (although be more specific here about what types of cleaning products) aggravate my allergies. I know many organizations are taking measures to minimize the use of those. Any chance you could tell me about the working environment in that regard?”

However, only a minority of employers have taken this issue on in any meaningful way, and so I think you’re unlikely to find many with a satisfying answer. That means that you might need to look into whether your symptoms are severe enough that you’d be covered under the Americans With Disabilities Act; if they are, that opens up new avenues for addressing this.

3. Applying for jobs right before going on a three-week vacation overseas

In the last week, three jobs that really excited me were posted – I’m dying to apply. I live in a small city where jobs in my field aren’t that frequent so I don’t want to pass on them. But I have a three-week overseas holiday coming up that begins three days after the closing date for all three applications. I don’t want to put something in my cover letter that immediately puts me in the do-not-interview pile, but I don’t want people to call me to arrange an interview and get a sorry-I’m-overseas-try-emailing-me voicemail, which seems both a shabby thing to do to HR and likely to look bad or thoughtless. Is there a non-off-putting way to phrase this in a cover letter?

I know (having perused similar in your archives) that by not cancelling the trip I’m showing where my priorities are, but it’s a big financial investment for me and I’ve saved up a lot of leave for it. So I guess it is my priority, I just want to mitigate its effects as much as possible!

I don’t think it’s so much about “showing where your priorities are” — it would be crazy to cancel a trip just because you might get called for an interview while you’re away. You should proceed with your plans, and no one should find that odd. But yes, it might end up being the case that you’re away during the period when they’re conducting interviews. If it’s a hard-to-fill job or you’re an especially ideal candidate, they might be perfectly willing to wait for you to get back, but you risk that they’ll move forward while you’re away. There’s not really anything you can do about that though; you certainly shouldn’t alter your plans, particularly since you don’t know if they’ll invite you to interview anyway, or whether they’ll even be scheduling the interviews for before you’re back.

It does make sense to include a note at the end of your cover letter saying something like, “While I’ll be traveling overseas from DATE to DATE, I’ll be checking email regularly and would love to set up a time to speak for any time after DATE.” You should also make sure that your voicemail is clear about the situation, and that you do check email while you’re away (ideally at least every few days if you want to be able to respond to an employer quickly).

4. I don’t find out my schedule until the night before I’m supposed to work

I just got a new job. We have one supervisor who is scheduling the whole animal hospital (boarding, reception, technicians, doctors, retail, etc.) — at least 40 employees. I usually don’t even find out my Sunday-Saturday schedule until Saturday before the Sunday of the coming work week (for example, I found out mid-day on 9/1 what my schedule is for 9/2-9/9). This makes it hard to plan any kind of doctor visits, plans or any errands I need to do. I’m used to knowing my schedule for the next two weeks. The past two days, my supervisor has texted/called employees at almost 11 pm telling then what time they work the next day.

I feel like this isn’t right, especially if I don’t know what time I should be in bed or am not able to plan my day because I’m not sure if I work the next day or what time I work until it’s almost midnight. I don’t know what to do or say. I don’t think it’s fair but I can’t seem to see any laws against it.

Yeah, it’s not illegal, just really, really bad practice for the reasons you mention. All you can really do is point out the difficulties it causes and ask if there are alternatives. For instance: “Jane, is there any chance of getting our schedules a few days earlier? When I don’t hear until midnight before a day I might need to work, it makes it really hard to plan.” You could also talk to your coworkers about speaking up as a group; presumably everyone else is frustrated by it too, and speaking up as a group can sometimes carry more weight.

If that fails, you should at least be able to fight back on the midnight thing — as in, “I need to know no later than X if I’m scheduled to work the next day. I’m often asleep by the time you send the schedule.”

5. When should I mention my visa status?

I’m a Canadian citizen in the U.S. on a employer-specific work visa. I’m looking to change jobs but stay in the U.S., and am worried about how to disclose that to prospective employers. At what point in the process should I disclose my visa status? And in what form? I don’t want to be deceitful, but I also don’t want to be dismissed before they have a chance to look at my qualifications. I’ve heard the advice of putting it on my resume at the top as “Current U.S. Visa status: would need sponsorship” but that feels quite brusque. For context, I’m planning on applying to large organizations that I know have some level of sponsorship program.

Yep, you should put it on your resume. If an employer is set up to do the work of sponsoring you, it’ll seem normal to them to see it there, and if they’re not, it’s useful (and considerate) to alert them to your status ahead of time so that they don’t start the ball rolling with you only to find that it’s an obstacle.

my employer makes you wait 3 years for a raise and is staffed by lunatics

A reader writes:

I’m just over two years into my first “real” job after grad school. My company (a large nonprofit) has a very strict policy that someone in my position has to be in that position for at least three years before they are eligible for a raise. Then, in order to actually get the raise, I have to submit a packet of documentation from myself, my supervisor, and my project leaders detailing why I deserve this raise and why it’s a good move for the company, which is then reviewed by a committee under HR.

I’m already overqualified for this position and have been working far above my level since I started and receive frequent praise. I feel like I’m being required to write a thesis defense for why I deserve to get compensated for the work I’m already doing. Furthermore, I’m very frustrated that when I started, the policy was a minimum of two years, but five months before I hit two years they changed it to three with no exceptions!

Is this normal? If not, what’s the normal process for getting a raise? How can I politely ask future interviewers whether they operate on a merit- or longevity-based promotion model?

Noooo, this is not normal.

First, three years before you can even be considered for a raise? One year is standard in most organizations. Forcing you to stay at the same salary level for three years is a really good way to ensure that your organization isn’t competitive on salary and won’t retain its best people, who will have other, better-paying options. (Also, keeping you at the same salary for three years means that in many cases your buying power will be decreasing during that time, because of inflation.)

Then, the documentation is ridiculous. First of all, your company should automatically be revisiting your salary on their own periodically anyway — a hell of a lot more frequently than every three years. And then to create such a significant burden on you to do the work of justifying it? It’s not unreasonable to be expected to present a case for a raise, but that case can usually be made by a quick rundown of how you’re contributing at a higher level than you were when your salary was last set.

And then a committee reviews that documentation? A committee?

No, it’s not normal. It’s incredibly bizarre and dysfunctional, and it’s got to making your organization less competitive.

Here’s what’s normal: Getting an automatic salary review each year. Or being able to make an annual case to your manager (not to a fricking committee) for why you deserve a raise. And having your manager make her own decisions about who on her team deserves a raise and for how much, within the confines of her budget for salaries, sometimes in consultation with her own boss or with HR. (Generally if HR is involved, it’s to advise on the going market rate for the role and how the person’s compensation will fit into the company’s larger salary structure, and to ensure that raises aren’t inadvertently creating problematic pay disparities.)

As for asking future employers about it, you can certainly ask something like, “Can you tell me whether annual raises are typical, and what the process for raises is generally like?” (I’d probably do this as part of salary negotiations, rather than earlier in the process.)

But I wouldn’t worry too much about encountering this particular model again, because this particular model is bizarre.

employers, stop labeling millennials

If you’ve picked up a newspaper or read a business magazine in the last decade, chances are high that you’ve been bombarded with articles about how the millennial generation requires different treatment at work from everyone who has come before them.

In fact, entire consulting businesses have been built on the idea that employers need to learn special techniques in order to effective manage millennial employees, who are alleged have utterly different needs and motivations – and weaknesses – than anyone else. Confounding matters further, Millennial workers are alternately accused of being lazy and driven, highly focused and unfocused, independent and overly dependent, in need of structure and adverse to structure.

But contradictory descriptions aside, most of the stereotypes that people attribute to millennials aren’t about what generation they happen to belong to; rather, they’re about being young and inexperienced in the work world. This generation is far from the first group of 20-somethings to find entry-level work boring, or not to understand the concept of paying their professional dues, or to bridle at dress codes and office norms, or to yearn to have more of a voice in office decision-making.

It’s not that generational differences don’t exist; of course they do. The influence of trends in things like parenting, pop culture, and education do create common value systems that broadly distinguish people growing up in a particular time from people who grew up at different times. And of course it’s interesting to examine how changing social norms have created different values and approaches in particular demographics. But the bigger factor at play in the Millenials’ work style is about age and experience level. While it’s certainly true that millennials are less likely to have a skillful command of office politics within a hierarchical structure than 48-year-olds do, for example, that was true of 22-year-olds 30 years ago as well. The traits and behaviors commonly attributed to millennials are about being inexperienced, not about being born in the years 1982 to 2004.

Moreover, if anything, much of this generation is the precisely the opposite of entitled when it comes to their workplace expectations. They graduated into one of the worst job markets in recent history, often saddled with crippling student loan debt for educations that they were assured would help them pay off that debt quickly, and had to quickly adjust their expectations to a fairly devastating new economic reality. Many studies show that they’ll never catch up, that graduating into that market will permanently depress their lifetime wages. The millennials I talk to are painfully aware of this, not blithely oblivious to such a sobering career reality. Contrary to being entitled, many of them – particularly new grads – are willing to work multiple jobs, long hours, and searching for any employer who will have them. They don’t expect senior level jobs to be handed to them; they’d just like any job, please.

And as if that weren’t enough, consider that the popular conception of “millennials” is largely confined to a particular socioeconomic demographic, leaving out huge swaths of people who don’t fit the narrative. What of the millennial blue collar workers, veterans, and first generation college students? What of the millennial single parents? There are plenty of them, and they’re generally ignored by the pop culture mythology about their generation.

So where does this leave the employers who are struggling to make sense of the enormous quantity of advice on how best to manage millennials?

Managers who buy into generation-based strategies for managing workers are making a significant stumble. Good managers adapt their management according to the needs of the role and the individual employee, and they shouldn’t adopt “millennial management strategies” any more than they should make broad generalizations about managing based on sex, race, or astrological sign.

Millennials don’t need or want to be managed “as millennials,” but rather as relatively inexperienced workers who have similar needs to junior-level workers at any time in the last several decades: clear expectations, a reasonable amount of training, meaningful feedback, and employers who treat them as individuals, not representatives of a generation.

It’s time to retire the millennial label – and maybe in the process, our whole compulsion to label and define generations at all.

I originally published this at U.S. News & World Report.