Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager won’t let me floss at work

My manager has forbidden flossing in the bathroom at work, even in a stall! Her office has a view of the hallway to the bathroom. When she sees me, she comes out of her office to see if I’m holding floss, or follows me to the bathroom to make sure I’m not flossing.

I’ve tried telling her that I have to floss for medical reasons (I have periodontal disease), but she doesn’t believe me because I have “pretty white teeth” (1. I have nice teeth because I take care of them now and 2. it’s actually a GUM disease!). She says that if she can wait to floss at night, so can I. As far as I know, I’m the only person who flosses at work. Maybe someone complained? I’ve always tried to be discreet about it (flossing in the bathroom, off to the side, washing my hands and the counter after, etc.). Personally, I don’t think it’s terribly gross and regardless, I need to do it!

So now I floss in my cube when I know she’s in a meeting, but that really isn’t ideal. I still have to get up to wash my hands after, and I’m afraid that she will see the floss in my trashcan. Am I in the wrong? If not, what can I do to convince my manager that this is a reasonable accommodation to a medical need?

What the hell? Something’s up with your manager.

Try this: “Jane, you’ve made it clear that you don’t want me to floss at work. What I maybe haven’t made clear enough is that I’m following specific instructions from a doctor. I’d be glad to bring in whatever documentation might be needed for medical accommodations.”

And if you have an HR department, get them to tell your manager to knock this off.

2. Is it bad to leave during my department’s busiest time of year?

Every year, my department of 4 people hosts an annual event for our clients and prospective clients that is the biggest event of the year for our company. Two months before the event and two months after the event is extremely busy with all the prep and post-event work we have to do. Due to our small department size, we are always stretched thin and everyone has a major role in planning the event. However, I have been at this company for over a year and I am absolutely miserable. I’ve been job hunting but was wondering how irresponsible it would be for me to leave during these 4 months. I’m really aiming to leave as soon as I find a job!

Having been through the whole job hunting experience before, I understand that job hunting always takes longer than one would expect (thus my question might be irrelevant if/when the 4 months pass by and I have no job prospects), but I was wondering what your take is on for leaving a company during its busiest time of the year?

There are some jobs where it would be considered particularly crappy at certain stages of a project — even unprofessional. If you’re hired to put on one major event, for instance, you’re generally expected to stay and see it through; leaving two weeks before it would be something reference-checkers would be interested in hearing about. But in the case you describe, your department is just particularly busy one-third of the year. If you were the person leading the team during that time and were at a pretty senior level, then sure — you should try to wait until that period is over. (For instance, this is often true in political jobs; if you’re the campaign manager, you’re not going anywhere until that campaign is done, and everyone understands that.) But barring some existing understanding like that, no — you should move on when you’re ready to move on. That’s a normal part of doing business for your company, and they will muddle through.

3. Is this a terrible idea in a cover letter?

Tired of losing out to younger, less-qualified candidates, I have the urge to end my cover letters like this: “If you value good writing, attention to detail, and creativity, and if you’re not afraid to hire someone over 40, please contact me. I look forward to talking to you in detail about how my experience and skills could be an asset to your team.”

This way it gets it out there upfront, and also challenges them to consider an older candidate. Is this a terrible idea?

Yes. It looks defensive, sounds accusatory and/or bitter, makes an issue out of your age when it might not have been otherwise, and is likely to most people reading it feel really uncomfortable. If you’re losing out to younger candidates, it might be age discrimination, but it also might be other things — that you’re not interviewing as well as you think you are, or just the realities of a bad job market. Keep in mind, after all, that tons of younger candidates also feel like they keep losing out to less qualified candidates. It’s easy to blame it on age, but that doesn’t mean that it is age, and if you go into assuming that, I think you do yourself more harm than good.

4. Was this interviewer trying to find out if I’ve belonged to a union?

I had a job interview not too long ago with a small local company. Toward the end, right after a question about whether I’d ever been convicted of any crimes, the interviewer asked me if I am or have ever been a member of any organizations that require dues. I couldn’t help but think they were indirectly asking if I had joined a union, and even though I’m not a union member, it made me feel uncomfortable. I wondered if they would have immediately decided against me if I had said yes.

Is this a normal, appropriate question? Am I completely misreading it? I can understand a potential employer wanting to know about my hobbies and volunteer work, but this question seems oddly specific.

Wow. I think you’re right — it’s an attempt to see if you’ve been part of a union without asking. And no, it’s absolutely not appropriate, and if it could be shown that that’s how they’re using it, it’s possible that it would run afoul of the National Labor Relations Act.

If you could go back in time, I’d encourage you to ask them, “What sorts of things do you mean?” and see what they say.

5. Expressing interest in my fired boss’s job

My boss was fired a few days ago for stealing from the company. It wasn’t intentional; guidelines just weren’t clear on discount she was giving out. I am now acting in her position, though it was not officially offered to me yet. I feel like I’m the natural fit to take over for her, as I’ve been with the company 4 years and I have formed relationships with the other managers and know how to work with them well, as well as doing her job. The issues that complicate my situation are (a) my former boss and I have a very close relationship, which is making me feel stuck in the middle; (b) she’s filing a lawsuit against the company; and (c) I’m already the youngest person here, and I worry that I’m not taken seriously because of that.

How should I go about letting the higher ups I’m interested in taking on her job permanently without seeming over-eager, or jumping in her grave?

You’re not going to seem like either of those; this is a normal thing to speak up about. Just say something like, “I’m not sure what your plans are for replacing Jane, but I’m interested in the role. Is that something you’d consider me for?”

Do be aware that having a close relationship with the person who’s filing a lawsuit against your company has the potential to put you in an awkward position at some point, especially if you take on a leadership role there.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should my PIP have been kept confidential?

Recently, I was put on a performance improvement plan (PIP). I didn’t receive any coaching about any of the problems it listed before it happened. I am writing a rebuttal for my personnel file to clarify some points.

I am wondering if I should talk in the rebuttal about the fact that there was no confidentiality about me being put on PIP. On the day of the meeting, a coworker who works after me came in and asked how it went. I said, “Fine,” but didn’t go into detail. He then said, “I heard you were put on a PIP.” I never talked to anyone at work about this meeting, so someone else had to have leaked it. I am shocked at the lack of professionalism, but I am worried that bringing up too much in my rebuttal will backfire. What should I do?

You’re right that there’s (generally) no need to share this type of thing with coworkers, but making a big deal about it probably isn’t going to help you, at a time when you want to be focused on issues much more core to your job. I do think you can mention it, but at most, I’d make it a very minor side note. As in, in actual parentheses and with the words “side note,” like this: “(As a side note, I was surprised when a coworker mentioned to me that he heard I’d been put on a PIP. I’m concerned that this wasn’t handled with more confidentiality and hope I can rely on your discretion around this in the future.”)

2. Can employer make us pay the cost of mistakes?

I work at a restaurant that is between the lines of restaurant and fast food. Apparently one of our policies is that if you waste food, for example burned a tray of rolls or dropped a rack of ribs, you’re paying for it personally out of your own paycheck. Or even if you’re serving the wrong portions of food. Our manager says that if you waste food, then they can take it out of your paycheck. My manager says that “all restaurants do it,” but I’ve never heard of them taking a cut from your paycheck. I personally have never had this specific problem at work, but I’m just curious to know if they are allowed to do this?

In most states, no. Most states make it illegal for an employer to deduct the cost of a mistake from an employee’s paycheck. Under certain limited circumstances, an employer can make you pay back losses caused by intentional misconduct, but burning a tray of rolls? No. You might consider contacting your state department of labor and seeing if they can intervene (and you can generally ask to stay anonymous).

The way an employer should deal with mistakes is by giving feedback on what you need to do differently, warning you if you’re falling short, and ultimately replacing you if the mistakes continue and are serious.

3. Talking to a new employee about unprofessional dress

I just hired a new employee – who dressed very professionally during the interview process – but since he started on Monday has come into the office in a cartoon t-shirt and jeans, as one example. Additionally, he came to an optional office fundraiser on the Saturday before he started in a t-shirt and shorts as opposed to more appropriate attire. While we definitely don’t have a “dress code” at our office – business casual is the norm.

I suppose I should have set better expectations before he began, but given my experience with him in the interviews, it hadn’t even occurred to me to do so – but even still, my miss. He’s very young, fresh out of college, so that might have something to do with it.

How do I tactfully share with him that he needs to dress more professionally? It’s his first week, and I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot or make him feel uncomfortable, but I definitely need him to adjust his behavior.

Talk to him ASAP — as in today — because the longer you wait, the more uncomfortable he’ll be when he realizes that he’s been dressing wrong the whole time. Take him aside at the end of the day and say something like, “I wanted to talk to you about our dress code. It’s business casual, which means no t-shirts, shorts, or jeans. I know ‘business casual’ can be a vague term and so I wanted to get us aligned going forward.” (The reason to wait for the end of the day to do this is so that he’s not sitting there feeling awkward about his shirt all day.)

Also, if you have influence into your company’s dress code, you might urge them to spell out what is and isn’t acceptable. Using a term like “business casual” is too open to interpretation; since there clearly are things that wouldn’t be acceptable, be clear with people about what those things are!

4. My company is giving us aptitude tests and won’t tell us how they’ll be used

I work somewhere that now requires all job candidates to pass a 50-question aptitude test (think the SATs..) in order to even get an interview. The test is supposed to predict long-term success. The company made all current employees take the test but will not ever tell us if we passed or how one would pass or fail (we think it’s 30/50 but who knows). However, we are getting very few candidates for new positions because apparently not many people pass the test. A lot of current employees are uneasy about job security now. What do you think this means for us? Would we be passed up for job promotions, raises, and moving up in the company if we didn’t pass? Will we even be considered?

I don’t know … but someone in your company does. Ask. It’s totally reasonable to say, “Can you give us a sense of how these tests will be used for us? Will our results affect things like raises and promotions?”

5. Can company forbid us from using side exits?

Our company sent out a new security policy and is mandating that all employees must use the front door as the main entry/exit point. We are now required to badge in and out of the building at all times so they know who is in the building at all times. They claim in an event of an emergency all exits will be unlocked but to me this doesn’t make me feel safe at all and I feel like this is a total violation. In addition they want us to sign a form stating we agree to follow this procedure and if we do not get pre-authorization to use a side exit we can be disciplined. I often leave through the side door to get to my car as this is closer to the employee parking lot. Can they enforce this policy?

Sure, unless it’s creating some sort of safety hazard. They have to ensure that you have free egress in case of an emergency, but as long as they’re complying with safety rules in that regard, they can certainly tell you that you can only use the main entry/exit in routine situations.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker wants me to goof off so she doesn’t look bad

I just started a new job about a month ago. It’s a job that requires both speed and accuracy, and I came in with a lot of experience, so I’m doing well so far and my manager has told me that she is impressed.

My department only consists of me, my manager, and another coworker (who I’ll call Carol). Carol is friendly to me but keeps making comments about how I need to “goof off on the internet more” and how I should purposefully work more slowly because I’m making her look bad. We’re at a time of year that’s slow for our business, so I’ve already worked through my entire backlog of work and am now doing some other projects that had been stalled during busier times. Carol told me today that she’s deliberately working as slowly as possible because she doesn’t want to do any additional work like I’m doing. Some of our work is time-sensitive and our clients are getting annoyed with her slowness, but she doesn’t seem to notice/care.

This seems so strange to me, and I don’t know how to react. Carol is known for being slow and not the best at her job, but my manager lets a lot of things slide because she’s generally conflict-avoidant. I can live with that. But how do I respond to Carol’s repeated requests for me to goof off at work and do a crummy job just to make her feel better?

Ignore her. Or laugh and pretend you think she’s joking. Or say, “I’m actually happier when I’m keeping busy.”

Also, your manager is committing a pretty egregious act of negligence and incompetence in not dealing with Carol.

2. Asking an older intern applicant about age issues

I’m hoping you can give me some advice on the best way to ask a potentially touchy question in an upcoming interview. My office offers an internship program for undergraduate students. In total, there are about a dozen interns who work for our office during the academic year. While some of the work is done individually, there is a lot of opportunity for the interns to work together and interact with one another. We are currently recruiting one intern to complete this year’s cohort. The internship is open to any currently enrolled undergraduate, including non-traditional students, though all of our existing undergraduates are within the typical 18-22 age range.

One of the candidates we are bringing in for an interview is significantly older than the rest of the intern staff. I would never discount her application based on age (and I believe doing so would be illegal), but I want to make sure that she will be comfortable working alongside a group of traditionally-aged sophomores and juniors. Is there a way I could bring this up during the interview that both (a) lets her know about the make up of our existing intern body, and (b) assesses whether or not she might have a problem doing the same work and working alongside students who are 15 or 20 years her junior? I want to make sure it’s a good cultural fit for everyone.

She’s a non-traditional student going back to school 15 or 20 years after most people; she’s used to being in classes with 18-22-years-old, and I’m sure that it’s not lost on her that other interns are likely to be in that age range as well. You’re not going to be telling her anything that hasn’t already figured out on her own, by virtue of being a later-in-life student.

I also wouldn’t ask directly how she feels about working alongside younger interns; there’s a high probability of awkwardness from that question and a low probability of getting you anything useful. But you could certainly asking things like “what made you decide to return to school?” and “how are you finding the experience of being a non-traditional student?” Her answers to those might give you some insight into how comfortable she is being in a crowd of 19-year-olds.

3. Do I have to disclose a life-threatening peanut allergy when I’m interviewing?

I have a life-threatening allergy to peanuts. The last 7 ER trips have been caused by me touching something contaminated with peanut residue or being touched by someone eating something with peanuts. I am currently applying to teach in several private schools. Several of these schools have community lunch where teachers and students eat together. Sometimes family style, sometimes with each person bringing their lunch.

I can do this. My family never took the ban peanuts approach. I grew up with my little sister and cousins eating things with peanuts around me. I’ve taught in public schools for 12 years. I have found a simple explanation was all the students needed. They had no problem washing their hands and cleaning the area, and actually were quite protective.

My current plan is to not mention this unless I am given an offer, then explain the condition and easy solutions to kids having peanut products in their lunch. For example, using newspaper as a place mat, then wrapping the trash in the newspaper for disposal, the children washing their hands after finishing eating, and keeping vinyl* first aid gloves in the room for me to wear while cleaning up any messes (you guessed it; I’m also allergic to latex). Do you have any other ideas?

Yep, it’s perfectly appropriate to wait until you have an offer to mention this, just like with any other medical condition. That removes the chance of your allergy becoming a factor in their hiring decision, and raises it at the appropriate time: when they’ve decided they want to hire you and you’re working out the details. (And really, given how common peanut restrictions are in schools now, they’re probably well-equipped to deal with this.)

4. Can company make me pay for a required medical exam and take sick leave to get it?

I work for a company that requires a medical exam every year. I would like to know if the company can require an employee to take sick leave to deal with these exams and to pay for them out of pocket, without reimbursement. This may seem petty, but I really think that if the employee requires me to do this, I should not have to pay for it, neither should I lose personal time off work. I’ve never had to have an annual exam for work before. I have had pre-employment drug tests, but they were always paid for by the company I had applied with.

I have never received reimbursement for an exam from this company, not even the pre-employment exam, but other managers I’ve worked for here have allowed me to leave from work to get my physical and not use sick leave. My current manager does not want to allow this, and wants me to use my sick leave to fulfill the employer mandate. This means losing nearly a full day of sick leave because I have to go back three days after the exam to have my TB test evaluated. I believe the TB test is the only thing that costs me out of pocket now, other than travel to get there twice, because of the Wellness mandate (thanks ACA!), but the company does not reimburse for that, either.

Can companies legally require that we pay for any portion of a mandatory exam? And is completing this exam under an employer directive not considered time at work, to be paid as work time, not sick time?

it depends on what state you’re in. Some states forbid employers from pushing the cost of required medical exams on to employees; other states are silent on the issue. Google the name of your state and “employer required medical exam cost” and you’ll probably find the answer for your state.

The sick time question is more complicated. Because sick days aren’t required by law (except for in a small number of localities), employers can make all kinds of crazy rules about it. (If you happen to be in one of those small number of localities that do require it, I don’t know how this would play out and you’d be better off talking to a lawyer in your state.)

Do you have an HR department? This is the perfect sort of thing to take to them, as they (a) probably want all managers handling it the same way and (b) probably will agree you shouldn’t have to take a sick day to fulfill your job requirements.

5. When employees don’t have phones to call in late/sick with

I direct a customer service-oriented department of about 60 part-timers at a nonprofit cultural organization. These part-time employees make between $9-$10 per hour, but many only work about 20 hours per week, so they aren’t taking home much money especially for an East coast city. Recently, a few employees have been unable to follow procedures about calling out for a shift or calling to say that they’ll be running late because they don’t have a phone currently or their service has been cut. For instance, one employee was nearly an hour late because she missed a bus and wasn’t able to call to let us know because she doesn’t have a phone. Another employee needed to call out, but did so an hour late because she had to go use her neighbor’s phone and her neighbor wasn’t awake yet when she first tried to use her phone. I’m very aware that bills are tough to pay with a $9/hour job, and in low-income communities, it’s somewhat common for adults to have sporadic phone access, so I feel conflicted about holding these employees accountable for failure to follow procedure that is directly related to their tight financial circumstances.

I know that increasing our rate of pay significantly would minimize this problem, but unfortunately our company is just not in a position to do that right now. What is the best way of treating these employees fairly while still enforcing our attendance policies?

I’ve been racking my brain for an answer for you and don’t have one. All I can come up with is issuing people cheap cell phones with pre-paid calling cards, but for 60 people I’m betting it’s not realistic. But maybe a reader will have an idea?