why does a neat or messy desk reflect on your productivity?

by Alison Green on September 18, 2014

A reader writes:

I’d love to know why people tend to associate a clean / organized desk with lack of productivity. I’m a neat freak when it comes to my desk and I don’t like stacks of papers tossed everywhere, so of course I have a sparsely covered desk, and it seems that anyone who comments on it (usually management) does so with a hint of a negativity. I meet deadlines and handle a lot of responsibility, so it’s not for lack of something to do. I just don’t like a mess and it makes me feel totally overwhelmed when my desk is piled high with things. Is it a twinge of organizational jealousy or do people really think that i’m not doing anything because my desk is clean?

Actually, in my experience, it’s more common for people to say the reverse — that a messy desk makes you look disorganized and like your realm is in chaos.

That said, it’s certainly true that a completely spartan desk with no papers at all can make you appear like you don’t have very much going on — not only have you had time to perfectly organize everything, but nothing appears to be in motion — and I bet that’s at the root of the comments you’re getting. It appears to people like nothing is happening, because they don’t see visual evidence of it.

Not that you should have to do this, but if you put out a couple of folders and a paper or two, I bet the comments would stop.

But yes, of course you should be judged on your actual productivity and work quality, not the state of your desk. In practice, though, we’re humans and we draw conclusions from what we see. A bare desk can make people think nothing is going on there, and a crazily messy one can make people think the work must be a mess too.

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4 keys to building a team that delivers results

by Alison Green on September 18, 2014

Lots of managers are fond of talking about how they’re only as successful as their people. And it’s true — but startlingly few managers (including plenty of the ones who like to repeat this phrase) actually practice the behaviors that should stem from that belief.

If you truly believe your success hinges on your team, you should be putting a hell of a lot of effort into building and maintaining a great one — in how you hire, how you treat high performers, and how you handle problems. Specifically:

1. Be someone who great people want to work for. Managers often underestimate just how important this is, but managers have an enormous impact on the quality of life of the people on their team. And when you want to attract the best candidates, those are generally people who will have options and who are more inclined to be thoughtful about what type of manager they work best with. That means that hiring isn’t just a one-way street; top-tier candidates are going to be assessing you right back and deciding whether they’d be excited to join your team. It’s important to make sure that you’re managing in a way that will attract and retain great employees: treating people well, getting everyone aligned around clear goals and expectations, providing useful feedback and development opportunities, recognizing and rewarding great work, ensuring they have the resources to do their jobs, and generally making your team an attractive place to work.

2. Give your staff real input into the direction of your team and its work. That doesn’t mean that you need to let your staff dictate all decisions – there are good reasons not to do that – but it does mean that you should seek out their input and give it real consideration (while making it clear that you’ll make the final call, when that’s the case). For instance, you might tell people, “I’m grappling with the right goals for next year and would love to run my thoughts by you and hear your input” or “I need to make a decision about how to time this launch and would love your thoughts.” And do take the input you receive seriously – engage, ask questions, explain when you disagree, and give it a real hearing. By doing this, you’re not only going to make staff members feel more invested in your team because they’ll feel that their input is meaningful, but you’re also more likely to make good decisions because you’ll have been able to consider counsel from others.

3. Hire really, really carefully. The biggest lever you have to get results from your staff is who you hire in the first place. That means that you should put a ton of energy into recruiting (so that you have a strong pool of candidates to choose from) and screening candidates, including finding ways to test candidates’ skills and see them in action before making any hiring decision. Rushing to make a hire just to fill a vacancy as quickly as possible might save you time on the front end, but it will often cost you far more in the long-run (as you deal with a team of non-super-stars).

4. Realize that your responsibility for the make-up of your team doesn’t stop with hiring. Managers often figure that they’re supposed to do the best they can with the team they have, but you will get far more done if you consider it part of your job to actively manage and shape your team’s make-up, just like a sports coach does. That means putting real energy not just into hiring, but also into developing team members to help them get better and better at what they do, as well as being strategic about retaining your best staff members and letting go of people who aren’t performing at the level you need.

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my interviewers seem like they haven’t read my resume, my coworkers keep rummaging through my papers, and more

by Alison Green on September 18, 2014

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewers seem like they haven’t even read my resume

I started interviewing a few months ago for jobs and have averaged anywhere between one interview to five interviews in a week. In about 10 situations, maybe more at this point, it doesn’t seem like the person setting up the interview or interviewing me has looked over my application materials whatsoever. For example, I’ve had numerous managers seem surprised when I told them I wasn’t a local candidate during the phone interview, even though it’s explicitly on my resume and on the online application materials. Other people thought all of my work experience was volunteer, even though I Iist the salary for these positions, or had no idea I had a master’s degree.

I used to think the top candidates were contacted for interviews, but now it just seems like interviewers spend zero time looking over my application. I understand people are busy, but this trickles down into the interview where it bothers me that they seem so unprepared or indifferent. Is this normal? Am I in the wrong here? Should I not read so much into this stuff?

Well, they might have reviewed your materials in the process of deciding who to call in for interviews and just forgotten some of the details between then and now. That’s not a horrible sin; it happens. Ideally they should take the time to re-familiarize themselves with your resume right before the interview, but sometimes pressing stuff arises and ruins the best laid plans, particularly if the manager in question is busy, and most are. I’m not going to knock interviewers for that as long as they reviewed it at some point.

Or of course, it’s possible that they haven’t reviewed your materials at all at any point — but even then, someone else would have. In all but the most horribly run organizations, someone does read applications and choose who to interview based on what they read.

But when you’re talking about the person who’s just setting up the interview, they don’t really need to review your materials. Someone else selected you and this person is just coordinating logistics. So that part isn’t odd. But thinking all of your work experience was volunteer is pretty bizarre.

2. I want my coworkers to stop rummaging through my papers

I recently joined a new company, and am one of the few who have an office. I deal with highly sensitive information, so having an office is a necessity.

I’m surprised at how my fellow coworkers in the office treat my space. Last week, I went to the restroom and came back and a woman (who I had not yet met) was sitting in my office, just waiting. I could have been in a meeting or taking a break in the cafeteria – who knows how long she would have waited? I have had others come in my office and move stuff around on my desk so they could put their papers down in front of me, when clearly I’m working on a project. I’ve even had people walk in and open desk drawers, because the person before me kept candy in the drawers and they expected me to as well! I mentioned these behaviors to another person on my team, who does not have an office, and her response was to the tune of “people don’t have boundaries here and it takes awhile to get used to.”

Due to the confidential nature of my job, I don’t want people just walking in and looking at things and sitting down and getting comfortable. Also, being new, I don’t want to be the neurotic and uptight person who shuts my door and locks my office each time I go talk to another employee or go to the restroom. But I also don’t want to get written up should someone stop in and leaf through confidential information on my desk. Any advice?

I think you’ll come across as overly territorial if you object to someone waiting in your office for you while you’re away; I agree with you that it’s a little off-putting (for the reasons you say — who knows how long you’ll even be gone?), but it’s not worth saying something about.

With people moving your papers to put something down in front of you, just speak up nicely in the moment: “Oh, actually, please don’t move those — I’ve got them in a particular order.” I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it beyond that.

I agree with you, though, that opening desk drawers to look for candy goes too far. But given that you’re working on confidential stuff, I’d just ask for a desk with drawers that lock and sweep any loose papers into a locking drawer before leaving your desk. If the papers are really confidential, that’s the smart thing to do regardless, even if you weren’t working in an office of people with no boundaries — but it’s especially reasonable since you are.

3. Renegotiating salary since my job significantly changed after one month

I was hired last month to work at a medium-sized business full-time. My position consists of filling an existing job share: half-week phone receptionist and half-week employee training. My reception job is silly easy; the training job is very challenging.

Here is the issue. The full-time trainer I was hired to work with may never come back. I have taken over her position, and my manager believes this will be permanent. My manager and CEO tell me how impressed they are with my work. But I am still paid a receptionist wage while now doing 100% trainer work! I am paid $3-5/hour below industry minimum. How do I approach this? I am new, and this was unforeseen, but I believe I deserve a fair wage. I am in a three-month probation; is it okay to bring this up then? I am “due” a 30 cent raise then, but I don’t feel that is appropriate anymore.

Absolutely it’s appropriate. If you’d just been given a few extra tasks that hadn’t originally been anticipated, that’s pretty par for the course. But you’ve been moved into a whole different role: full-time trainer when you were previously half receptionist, and the wages for those roles are different.

I’d say something like this: “When we originally set my salary, we thought I’d be doing half-time receptionist work. Since I’ve ended up being moved into training work full-time, I’d like to revisit the question of salary. Can we adjust what I’m earning to be in line with what the company pays for full-time trainers?”

4. Can I sue over my delayed raise?

I live in Georgia and I have come to the realization that I was not given my annual review in a timely fashion. I started with the company in October 2012, had a review 6 months after I started. Then I was told it is yearly on my hire date. I have not had it. Can I sue for this? Now they are trying to get me retro pay, but that entails me have a huge taxation because of no fault of my own. So really I’m losing big time.

Sue for it? No. There’s no law that requires that an employer give you timely performance reviews. (And even if there were, given how much time, energy, and money lawsuits take, suing is the last step after you try other avenues to resolve a problem, not the first.)

If you have a contract that promises you raises at specific points, that might be an issue, but such a contract would be very, very unusual in the U.S. Employers are generally very careful to ensure that they’re not locking themselves into being legally obligated to give raises at specific times.

It’s good that your company is recognizing that their delay ended up costing you that increased pay, but they’re not under any obligation to give you retro pay for that period; some companies will in that situation and some won’t. What I’d recommend in the future is proactively talking to your manager if your review gets delayed and — if a raise is likely — noting that you’re concerned about delaying it going into effect.

5. Is it age discrimination to screen for computer skills?

I work in the health care field, and my company hires a specific type of practitioner. With the new government emphasis on electronic medical files, basic computer skills are becoming an absolute requirement for these jobs.

Unfortunately, my company does not screen for basic computer literacy as part of the hiring process. When I suggested that we do so, since we’ve been hiring people who don’t know how to perform very basic tasks on the computer and it’s causing problems, my boss told me she was pretty sure we couldn’t do so as it would be considered age discrimination. I feel that if computer use is a basic requirement of the job, it’s completely reasonable to screen for computer skills. What are your thoughts?

My thoughts are that your boss sucks, knows nothing about how to hire employees, and should not be allowed any managerial authority. If I had a magic wand, I would have just removed it all from her.

It’s not age discrimination (!) to require computer skills. That’s called hiring for qualifications. (And your manager is being pretty damn insulting to the myriad older people with excellent computer skills by assuming she’d be screening them out if she enforced computer literacy standards.)

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my coworker is tracking my hours

by Alison Green on September 17, 2014

A reader writes:

There is a person in our office who likes to keep track of other employees’ schedules. I am not sure how long she has been doing this, but I was near her desk today advising her of her schedule. I noticed that she had a calendar open that on her desk top that she made herself. On one of the days in the calendar, I noticed my name and the name of our supervisor. For me it says that I left early that day, and for our supervisor it says that she was late that day. I am this person’s lead on our team, and it agitates me that she feels the need to track the schedule for our supervisor and me, and I am not sure what to do about it, or if there is anything I CAN do about it.

She was recently written up, so I am not sure if she plans on using this information against us if she ever finds it necessary. Except for my regular Mon-Fri shifts, she has no way to know whether or not I have a shift change or if I was scheduled previously to leave early that day.

What do I do in this type of situation, where a coworker feels it necessary to track my movement in the office?

The best answer here is to ignore it and let it go.

But I could also totally understand not wanting to let it go, and I’m hardly someone who would resist saying something if the opportunity presented itself. So … you could create a chance for the opportunity present itself, by being ready to say something in the moment if you see it again. If you happened to be at her desk to talk to her and happened to see it again, there’s no reason you couldn’t just say, right there in the moment, “Huh, are you tracking my hours for some reason?”

And then if she says, “Yeah, I’m tracking your hours because it’s so unfair that I’m being written up when other people leave early too” — which is what I suspect is likely here — then you could say, “Well, Jane, it’s not actually your job to track other people’s hours, so how are you going to know when someone has a shift change or was scheduled to leave early that day?”

And if you have any authority over her — which you kind of do as a team lead, even though it’s hazy, right? — you could also say, “Please manage your own work and let other people manage theirs.”

And if you don’t really have any authority over her (which is also possible, since team lead roles sometimes go that way too), then you could mention to your manager that your coworker seems to be on some sort of tear where she’s logging other people’s hours, and you thought she should know.

But then I’d move on. Let her track your hours if she wants; assuming she’s not going to uncover any kind of nefarious wrongdoing, it won’t ultimately matter.

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how to earn respect as the new hire

by Alison Green on September 17, 2014

It can be tough to start a new job: No one knows much about you, the reputation that you spent time building in your old company might not have followed you, and to most of your coworkers you’re still an unknown quantity who might or might not turn out to be great. But with the right moves, you can quickly begin earning respect and establishing yourself as a valued member of your new team. Here’s how.

1. Look for an immediate win, even if it’s small. It takes a while to truly master most jobs, so you’re not likely to get big results right away. But look around for spots where you might be able to quick get a win – such as a process you can make easier, a needed role you can fill, a client you can please, or work you can move forward that was languishing before you arrived. Even small ways of demonstrating skill and value can go a long way toward establishing credibility and respect in your new workplace.

2. Pay close attention to the culture. In addition to all the information you’re absorbing about how to do your new job, you’ll need to pay nearly as much attention to how the office you’re working in operates. Fitting into office culture can matter enormously, and you risk coming across as tone-deaf if you don’t pay attention the load of signals that will be coming your way about everything from what hours people work to how long they take for lunch to how they communicate during the day (and how often).

3. Pay attention to how your boss operates. It can be tough to adjust to a new boss when you’re used to your old manager’s ways of doing things. Be sure that you’re not simply falling into the patterns your old boss preferred for things like frequency of communication, method of communication (email vs. phone vs. in-person meetings, as well as scheduled meetings vs. talking ad hoc), and what she does and doesn’t want to have input in. You’ll pick up a lot of information about your new manager’s preferences simply by watching, but you should also feel free to ask directly about how she prefers to work.

4. Ask your new manager what a successful first month and first six months would look like. Most new hires don’t bother to explicitly ask this, and too many managers forget to elaborate on it. But talking these questions through will give you valuable information about what you need to achieve in order to be performing at the level your new boss expects. (And the answers can be a huge relief, if you’re feeling frazzled and discover that she’s assuming it will take you several months just to get oriented.) And on the topic of questions more generally…

5. Ask questions! Don’t be shy about asking your boss directly about the things that will help you settle in and understand what’s expected of you and what you can expect of others. Useful questions to discuss include:

  • What can I read to get a better understanding of ___?
  • Are there samples of how this has been done in the past that I could look at?
  • What recent history of the department or upcoming plans should I be aware of?
  • Do you like to talk about things as they come up, or do you prefer that I save things up for a weekly meeting?
  • Are there any pitfalls that you’ve seen people fall into when they’re learning this job? Anything else that I should be especially aware of?

 6. Don’t bring in cookies or other treats on your first day. New hires sometimes think that bringing in candy or baked goods will make a good impression and win over their new colleagues. But in many offices, it will come across as over-eager – and after all, you don’t yet know the food-sharing norms of your new workplace. You don’t want to show up with a tray of chocolate nut brownies and discover that there’s a ban on nuts because of an employee with a life-threatening allergy, or learn that most of the office is dieting, or that half of them are vegan. Learn a little about your new coworkers first, before bringing in food for the group.< 7. Don’t get involved in office drama. Even if you think you’re forming clear opinions about workplace disagreements or cliques, resist the urge to take sides or otherwise insert yourself. You don’t yet have the perspective to truly know the issues or the players, and even if you’re right, people will generally respect you more for hanging back until you gain more familiarity.

8. After your first two weeks, ask for feedback. Ideally, your manager would be checking in with your regularly and letting you know where you’re doing well and where you should be focusing on improving. In practice, though, managers are often too busy to think to do this, even with new hires. You can often get incredibly useful information – and will come across as both conscientious and easy to manage – by simply asking, “Now that I’ve been here two weeks, what’s your sense of how things are going? Is there anything you’d like me to be focusing more on or doing differently?”

I originally published this at U.S. News & World Report.

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as a new manager, am I saying “I’m sorry” too much?

by Alison Green on September 17, 2014

A reader writes:

I’m a new (2 weeks) manager at a ~50 person company where I’ve worked for years. In trying to adjust to the role, I’m realizing that I’m the sort of person who says “sorry” a lot. I’m not always doing it to take the blame on myself; I’m often doing it because I think it shows empathy and sometimes makes a situation less confrontational. Do you think this will hurt my effectiveness if I don’t change? I think I can apologize in ways that are still appropriately firm (e.g. “I’m sorry, I know this is piling onto an already-busy week, but I need you to add X to your plate and get it done by Friday”), but am I actually undermining myself by doing this?

If it matters, I’m a man. (I hear this is a more common or more problematic issue for women.) And I’m in my mid 30’s, roughly the same age as the majority of coworkers.

I think it depends 100% on how often you’re saying it.

In the example you gave, where you’re adding something onto an already full plate, it makes sense to acknowledge that. It would be a bad thing if you didn’t acknowledge it.

On the other hand, if you’re apologizing every time you delegate work to someone, that’s going to quickly become weird, because it will start to sound like you feel sheepish about delegating, which will make your employees feel awkward and wonder why you’re not more matter of fact about it.

So it’s balance. The phrase isn’t inherently problematic, but if you feel like you’re saying it constantly, then yeah, I’d rein it in.

And if you’re finding that you’re using it to show empathy, keep in mind you have a bunch of other tools at your disposal to do that. Thanking people, in a genuine way, for taking on extra is one way. Making real efforts to help people manage a high workload is one more. Urging people to take a day or afternoon off when their workload allows it is still another. These things have a much bigger impact than just acknowledging “yeah, this sucks, and I wish it didn’t,” so make sure you’re doing them too.

But again: The phrase itself is fine, in moderation. The overall picture is what you want to pay attention to.

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withdrawing a job offer, gifts from the boss, and more

by Alison Green on September 17, 2014

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Withdrawing a job offer when the candidate doesn’t communicate

I made a job offer to a candidate on September 3, and she called me back on the 5th to request a couple more days to make her decision since she had additional interviews the following week. At the time, I explained that we would be continuing the interviewing process as we waited for her response. It’s now been 10 days since she asked for more time and I haven’t heard from the candidate.

In the meantime, I have found a candidate who is both enthusiastic and well qualified. Am I obligated to call the first candidate and let her know we’re making an offer to somebody else? I feel like 10 days without an update from her makes it clear she’s not interested in the job.

Was it left as her needing “a couple more days” or was it ultimately left more open-ended than that? If she said “a couple more days” and it’s now been 10 days, she hasn’t handled this well. But if the latter… well, if the latter, ideally you would have nailed down a timeframe rather than leaving it open-ended, but if it was left open-ended, I do think you owe her a call now.

Generally, I don’t think you should revoke a job offer just because someone better came along; candidates are depending on your word (and possibly turning down other offers or quitting a current job), and doing revoking it will make all your future offers suspect to candidates who hear about it. But in this case, you were explicit with her that you intended to continue interviewing other candidates, so she was sort of on notice that this could happen. Given that, it’s not outrageous to call her and say, “We haven’t heard from you and know you weren’t sure you wanted to accept, and in the meantime we’ve found a candidate who we think is a great fit and who really wants the job, so we’ve decided to go with her.” But I do think you need to notify her, since otherwise you risk her turning down other offers, thinking that yours still stands.

2. Giving gifts to my team when one person can’t accept gifts

I am the new (since January) manager of the reference department in a small academic library. I have been here for three years, but previously reported to the position I hold now. Besides myself, my department has four other employees. Traditionally the library dean makes a Christmas (“end of semester”) lunch for the staff or takes us out to a restaurant. Additionally, each department head traditionally takes their department out for lunch. Since I have been here, every department has gone out to a rather expensive local restaurant and so going to that particular restaurant has become expected.

I do want to show my gratitude to my team for all their hard work this year, but I have always disliked the departmental lunches for a variety of reasons. Since I am new, I want to try to create a new tradition. Instead of lunching at a restaurant, I really want to make homemade gifts for each staff member (like a custom crocheted item). I know of departments head on campus that make homemade gifts for their departments, so this is not completely counter-cultural.

However, one member of my team is prohibited by her religion from giving or accepting gifts (restaurant meals are okay). I do not want to exclude her, nor to cause any kind of trouble regarding discriminating against her religion, but I really would rather create thoughtful thank-you gifts for my staff instead of just-another awkward lunch out. The only thing that I can think of is to ask her if I can make a donation in her name to a charity since she could not accept a gift from me.

I’d talk to her and tell her the options you’re considering and see what she says.

For what it’s worth, though, while I do know this kind of thing can vary by culture, I’d steer you away from homemade gifts (other than food). I’m interested to know what others think about this, but to me crocheting something feels like a fairly intimate gift, as well as one that comes with a high risk of being unappreciated (unless you really know people’s tastes).

Read an update to this letter here.

3. How can I best make use of my boss’s connection to a job I’m interviewing for?

I have a job interview coming up for a position I’m really, really excited about. My manager knows the person hiring for the job really well and has already mentioned I am great and those sorts of words in her direction. I’d be moving from one type of service to a totally diferent one, but there’s lots of transferrable skills and I know the manager recruiting came from a similar background. The person who has just left the post also did not have a typical background. What can I do to make most effective use of this connection?

So far, I haven’t asked/said anything to my (very supportive and basically dream) manager beyond that I’ve applied and would love the job. She’s asked how my interview prep is going and I’ve said okay – but she’s willing to help me out in any way she can. I know my weakest area is managerial experience so I’m trying to think up as many managerial skills examples as I can. But is there anything I should be doing to take advantage of this quite handy connection?

The best thing she can do is rave about you to the hiring manager. Her recommendation is likely to carry a lot of weight, so that’s where I’d focus her, to the extent that you can.

4. Handling an unenforceable non-compete agreement

My current company had me sign a noncompete when I began work with them. I’ve since realized that it’s so restrictive that leaving the company and complying with the noncompete basically means leaving either my city or industry! I’ve spoken with an attorney who says that under the laws of my state, what they had me sign is far too restrictive and almost entirely unenforceable. He suggested I not directly solicit customers I work with day-to-day (which I wouldn’t do) but said they could not enforce against customers I have had zero contact with.

So that being said, I’m going ahead with my job hunt. But I’m worried about how I tell a potential employer that the noncompete could be an issue. I’m willing to take on my company in mediation or court if that’s what it takes (I’m really,really comfortable that they can’t enforce it) but how do I tell a potential employer about this? When do I bring it up? What do I tell them? I’m worried that at an interview is too soon and potentially offputting (why hire an employee with potential “problems”) but I also worry that at offer or negotiation is too late. Help!

If your company has a history of trying to enforce that agreement or you otherwise think they’re likely to, I’d work with your lawyer to take care of it now — alerting your old company that you’re considering it not to be in effect and why. If you handle it preemptively, hopefully you won’t need to mention it to prospective new employers at all.

5. AAM questions

I find the range of questions you receive and answer fascinating. My question: Are there any types of questions you dislike and are less likely to answer here?

I try to stay away from questions that have been asked answered here many times before, although often there’s an interesting new twist that makes me glad to tackle it again. I also stay away from really lengthy questions (I have a suggested word limit on the Ask a Question page, but not everyone heeds that warning), as well as highly technical or legalistic stuff — at some point, those really require a lawyer who can get into all the details of the situation.

And if a question is being asked by a third party, it can make me less likely to answer (like a parent asking a question about a work situation that happened to their kid, which is a common one I get a lot). I figure the third party is a lot less likely to have all the details, and I don’t want to put a ton of time into answering something that’s more likely to have key details missing (or where the third party isn’t really in a position to do anything with the advice). That’s not a hard and fast rule; I’ve certainly answered plenty of third party questions before. But it can sometimes lower the chances that I’ll tackle it.

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can you have close work friendships when you’re in HR?

by Alison Green on September 16, 2014

A reader writes:

I work at a company with a large number of employees under the age of 30 (myself included), and because of that, there’s a very social atmosphere. I’ve become quite close with a woman in a difficult department (let’s call her Linda) who is very fun to be around but will often incessantly talk about work. Because I work in HR, it often puts me in a precarious position and I’ve learned to just nod my head and listen to her complain.

Linda’s boss recently resigned and left quite a bit of uncertainty for that department, which was already in a state of turmoil. Because Linda was a high-potential employee (and someone made the mistake of telling her that), she took it as an indication that she was now in a position of power to negotiate a salary increase and promotion, because the department wouldn’t want her to resign as well. She talked quite a bit outside of work about this situation, with me mostly nodding and listening, and I always stayed impartial. I did try to give her some advice on how to go about asking for the raise so as not to sound aggressive or demanding, so she didn’t end up shooting herself in the foot. Linda told me the amount she was going to ask for, which was way above what her job was worth, and I told her, as a friend and without invoking any specifics of company, that she could certainly ask for it but it was unlikely she’d get that much of a raise.

About two weeks later, Linda’s promotion goes through (with a salary much more appropriate for her role), and I get called in to my boss’s office. Turns out that Linda told the VP of her department that I had told her (Linda mentioned me by name) that she was going to get $3k more than what she received. I did no such thing, nor did I ever indicate an exact number, I just told her that what she was asking for was unreasonable. It caused a huge headache, and made me look bad not only to my boss but also to that VP. I thought about my options and determined that I really couldn’t say anything to Linda – the conversation was had in confidence with the VP, and if word got out that she had talked to HR, it would likely make it even more difficult to find out what was really going on with that group in the future. So I moved on and learned my lesson to keep my mouth shut in the future (and did my best to subtly distance myself from someone who was clearly not a friend).

I’m curious – what would your approach to this situation have been?

Yeah, you can’t have these kinds of friendships when you’re in HR.

That’s part of the deal when you work in HR. It doesn’t matter if you just sit and nod while your coworker complains about salary — in their eyes, that can come across as “Lavinia thinks that I’m justified in being upset about my salary.” And that can be seen as you speaking for the company, or at least using your official knowledge to inform your response as a friend, whether you intend it that way or not. It doesn’t matter if you explicitly tell them that that’s not the case; too many people will assume it is anyway.

I get that there’s a bunch of people under 30 there and it’s a social atmosphere. But you have to have more boundaries than everyone else. Frankly, it’s possible/likely that they all need better boundaries too, but you in particular really need them because you’re in HR. You need to be able to recommend that some of those people be fired or laid off (and to be able to do the actual laying off if it comes to that), you need to be seen as impartial, you need people to believe that you handle confidential information discreetly (which is harder when you are known to have close outside-of-work friendships with some coworkers), and you need people to believe that your friendships don’t play a role in sensitive company decisions, from raises to discipline to layoffs to how allegations of harassment or discrimination are handled (the latter being particularly tricky, since people may not even want to report incidents to you if you’re known to be close to the harasser).

You can be friendly, yes. Warm and collegial, yes. But outside-of-work friendships? Not unless you’re extremely careful about navigating the boundaries, which definitely doesn’t include a coworker talking to you “quite a bit outside of work” about her raise strategy.

Your job is to represent the company. That doesn’t turn off when you’re with coworkers, even when you’re outside work. It kind of sucks, but it’s an inherent part of the gig.

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the word men don’t hear in performance reviews, the 40-hour work week is dead, and more

by Alison Green on September 16, 2014

Over at Intuit QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I take a look at several big work-related stories in the news right now: the word men don’t hear in performance reviews but women do (let’s drop the mystery: it’s “abrasive”), Gallup data showing the 40-hour work week is dead, and more. You can read it here.

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my job is pushing me to get a smartphone and I don’t want one

by Alison Green on September 16, 2014

A reader writes:

I currently have an older cell phone (not a smart phone) for personal use. I have texting and voicemail. Although I am under 30, I am comfortable with this decision and I have never had the need for a smart phone. I enjoy this phone because it’s durable (I’ve had it for 6 years), cheap (it costs me $30 a month to have) and convenient (I only need to charge it once weekly or biweekly). It makes calls, receives them, and works as an alarm clock, and that’s really all I need. I do have my phone on me at all times like the next person, but I don’t hear it ring when I am out walking my dog or at the store. However, I do return calls promptly after I see I’ve missed them (again, just like the next person).

A few months ago, I was promoted and moved to another department. Recently, after a vacation I took, my manager brought me into her office to mention her belief that I need a smartphone. She said her and other employees are aware that I have an outdated phone and said it is necessary that I have a smartphone so I can be available to check emails at all times and be reachable. She asked if I had thought about getting one. I said no.

She asked if it was a cost issue, which I said that it was (although it is also the belief that I don’t really need one, since mine works fine and is durable and reliable). I didn’t specify, but in my head I thought how my phone costs $30/month and a data plan/new phone plan can cost around $100/month, and would also require a case for durability and possibly other phone accessories. She said there is another manager in the office who has an old iPhone available for me to have, and would only require the new plan hookup. She said she’d talk to corporate about getting the phone plan paid for, but she said it would probably be difficult, since I am still fairly entry-level and “if we get yours paid for, other employees will wish for theirs to be paid for as well.” My previous position dealt in finance, so I know that other higher-ups have par of their phone bills paid for ($75, or about half of their monthly bill), but none of my same-level coworkers have theirs paid for.

I don’t believe I need a smartphone. I have internet at home and a cell phone with text and voicemail. Worst-case scenario, an employee can contact me to let me know an important email chain from a client needs to be responded to. Nothing came up on my recent vacation that I am aware of, but she still mentioned it, which makes me believe that they wanted to contact me then, but couldn’t.

I also am concerned (as I’ve read in a previous post on your site) that having this work phone would make them think I am available 24/7, even on weekends. I am rarely contacted outside of work hours, but I am concerned that my coworkers and manager will believe I am now constantly available. On weekends or on vacation, I would love to be able to leave this phone behind or off, but I guess that would defeat the purpose of them providing it to me.

My concern is that she will come back to say “corporate won’t let us pay for it.” I don’t think it will come to this, as I’ve been recently been promoted and (hopefully) am in good graces, but I would hate for them to fire me over my refusal to increase my cell bill by $70/month to get a smart phone. My medical bills recently increased and I am not making very much, so this would definitely impact my budget.

I work in the media industry where there are tight deadlines and occasional weekend work. I am not in the level that directly contacts clients, so the concern of meeting their needs is filtered through my managers, then to me. Since I occasionally work weekends or very late nights (had a 70-hour work week last month), I enjoy having weekend time to myself and vacation time when I request it (always far in advance). What are your thoughts?

I think there are two issues here: whether you really need a smartphone to do your job and whether you need to check email outside of regular work hours.

There are some roles that do truly require checking email on evenings and weekends, and many of them are in your industry so it’s possible that it’s the case here … although most of those roles don’t require a smartphone to do it; you can check email just as well from a computer. The only roles that truly should require a smartphone are ones where you need to check email so often outside of work hours that it needs to travel with you to restaurants, movies, and other outings. Otherwise, a computer suffices.

Given that distinction, I wonder if this is less about what device you’re using and more about “we feel like you’re more disconnected than everyone else” … which may or may not be rooted in a legitimate work need.

In talking to your manager, I’d get clarity around that distinction. Is she really saying you need a smartphone, or is she saying you need to check email more in your off hours? And if she’s saying the latter, then you can explore how necessary that really is.

I’d say something like this: “I’ve actually been really deliberate in not having a smartphone. Part of the reason is the cost — increasing my cell bill by $70/month isn’t trivial — but part is also philosophical. I think you know I’m highly responsive and available outside of regular hours when I need to be, but it’s important to me to me to have space on evenings and weekends when I can disconnect. I am absolutely willing to be called or texted in case of an emergency, but even with a smartphone, I’d likely turn email off on weekends because I believing in taking time to recharge. So I don’t think changing my phone is the answer; it sounds like what I need to get more clarity on is how often you want me to be checking email during off hours — whether it’s from a phone or from a computer.”

You’re likely to get one of two responses: Your boss might tell you that you do need to be checking email more often during off hours, in which case that’s the issue to explore here, not what technology you use to do it. Or you might get a vaguer answer — if your boss doesn’t actually think you need to check email X times per weekend but just has a hazy feeling of discomfort that you’re not more connected.

The vaguer answer is harder to deal with. At that point, it’s a judgment call about how much your boss is really going to push it, what kind of rapport you have with her, and whether your relationship will allow you to push back.

But if it’s a more concrete response that, yes, this job does require checking email round the clock, then you basically have three options:

1. Push back about why and see if one of you changes your mind. To push back, you might try pointing out that you’ve only been needed outside of work hours once in the last X weeks (or whatever stat makes sense there).

2. Present other ways to achieving whatever her objective is in that, like asking if people can call or text you if something is urgent. (The latter is only reasonable if urgent things come up infrequently; it wouldn’t be reasonable to request if you were, say, a communications director for a high-profile company that regularly fields after-hours media requests.)

3. Or, if she won’t budge, then what she’s telling you is that this particular job (at least at this particular company) does require this kind of availability. If that’s the case, you might need to decide if it’s a job you want, under those conditions.

But I don’t think any of this is really about smartphones. It’s about how plugged in you are, by any means.

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