Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Is my HR rep suggesting I apply to jobs at other companies?

I recently received a text message from the HR manager at my organization informing me of a job posting at a completely different organization. The bizarre thing about receiving this message is (a) I am not friends with this person outside of work so I question her motives and (b) the position she sent me is for a less qualified and part time position – opposite of my current full time, RSW position. Is this appropriate or I breach of some HR ethics and if so, do I inform my boss?

Wow. Sending you a random posting with no context is pretty insulting — it’s hard not to read that as “you should move on — and to something lower-level.”

Does she normally text you? If not, I’d wonder if she meant to send it to someone else. But regardless, you should just ask her about it: “Hey, Jane, I was surprised to receive that text from you with a job posting at ABC Corp. What was the context for that?” Who knows, maybe she’ll say, “Oh, I thought it was perfect for your sister.” But if her response doesn’t sit well with you, then yeah, it’s totally reasonable to mention it to your manager, framed as, “Are there concerns about how I’m doing that would lead Jane to be sending me other job openings?”

2. Should I ask to be introduced as Dr. ___?

I work/study at a university. So understandibly, there are different form of address for different groups of people amongst each other and by the students. The academics are either addressed as Dr. or Prof. The other workers of the support staff (laboratory technicians, department secretary, administrative assistant, maintenance guys) are addressed by their first names at times and title at times. Those titles, however, are Ms., Mrs. or Mr.

I work as a technician, but I acquired my Ph.D. a year ago. I am still being called by my first name by the academics, and while this is still ok with me as they are all still older than me anyway, I think that if I am being introduced to someone new who comes into the department, then I should be introduced by my title, “Dr. so-and-so, our Lab A lab-tech,” rather than “Mrs. so-and-so, lab tech” or “first name, lab tech.” Am I correct in my view? I was promoted to a higher position but it is not an academic position. My title still remains as Dr. regardless of in which capacity I work. What do you think?

I’m a terrible person to answer this because I think it’s silly when people insist on titles. But you’re in an environment where people use them, so if someone introduces you with a title, there’s nothing wrong with updating them with the correct title (just like you might say “It’s Ms., not Mrs.” or whatever). That said, there are weird issues around titles in university settings, so it’s entirely possible that academics would see this differently than I do.

3. Can I ask if everyone was on board with the decision to hire me?

I am amid a career change because my government job is ending at the end of the calendar year. I have second-interviewed for a position as a legal assistant with a small law firm, but have no experience in the legal field. This particular firm has a history of hiring “off the street” or from temp agencies, without always requiring that their assistants have legal experience.

In interviews, I met each of the two managing partners (A and B), one at a time, and the attorney I would work with the closest (C) attended both. Back channels indicated that after my first interview (with A and C), I was the front-runner other than one interview that had not occurred yet. In my second interview (B and C), it was quite obvious that B was reticent about my inexperience; C is rather new to the practice herself and B isn’t sure it’s a great idea to hire her an inexperienced assistant. B’s concerns were open and repetitive. It felt like, on paper, he already preferred another candidate before I walked in, and I can’t get a read on whether my responses mitigated enough of his reticence or not.

If I receive an offer, can/should I ask if all parties are on board with the hiring decision? I’m not sure I want to set myself up for extra relationship challenges if B loses a vote.

You could, although I’d be more inclined to ask it of C (who you’ll be working closely with and hopefully should have a good rapport with) than of anyone else. You could say, “I got the sense that B had real concerns about my experience, and I wondered if that’s something I should be concerned about.”

That said, B may have strong opinions during the process but not care particularly once the new hire — whoever it is — starts work, assuming B won’t be working closely with that person.

4. Giving notice when company doesn’t allow vacation time to be taken after you announce you’ll be leaving

My company has a separation policy that doesn’t allow people to take vacation after they submit their written notice. I recently accepted an offer for a new job, but it doesn’t start for a few months. I would like to give an advanced notice that I am leaving, but I am going on vacation next month.

All of my work has to be turned over to someone else. My group is already short one person, so management is going to have to bring in someone from another group to takeover my work. Should I go ahead and tell my boss informally that I plan on leaving the company so he can line up a replacement? Or should I just wait until I get back from my vacation when I hand in my two-week notice? I read your previous post on a similar subject.

These policies are usually designed for people giving two weeks notice, not for people giving months. Employers don’t want someone to give two weeks and then spend part of that already-limited transition time away from the office. It shouldn’t apply to you — but you don’t want to count on that and then find out that it does. Your best option is to talk to your boss about how to proceed — explaining that you want to give generous notice but don’t want to be penalized for doing that, and that you don’t want to give shorter notice just to protect your vacation time. If your boss is reasonable, he’ll ensure that you can openly give notice and that your vacation time won’t be revoked. But if your boss is unreasonable, all bets are off, so you want to let your knowledge of him be your guide here.

5. My sister-in-law doesn’t want me to look at her LinkedIn profile

I recently looked at my sister-in-law’s profile on LinkedIn and it sent an email to her that I had looked at it. She seemed to be upset about it because her husband (my brother-in-law) texted me about it. Is it a sin to look at someone’s profile?

What, no, that’s totally normal. The whole point of LinkedIn is to look at people’s profiles. I’m guessing this relationship is already strained to begin with? They’re being ridiculous.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. What am I supposed to do with an unsolicited resume from a stranger?

I just received an email from someone I don’t know, and it was likely sent to a lot of people (he sent it to himself and I’m a “bcc”). This feels like a cold-call situation: his cover letter said: “Thought I’d reach out to you personally, anticipating you may know of a someone looking for my particular set of skills. My recent contract ended only last week and I’m in need of a new position. Full time is preferred! I don’t like sitting on the bench. I’m X and Y Certified as of 2013. Also, feel free to forward my information to someone you feel may have an interest. I hope this wasn’t an inconvenience to you at this time. And thank you in advance just in case..”

I would like to know how to respond politely — is a response even necessary? I’m not a hiring manager. I don’t know him or how he got my name. We don’t have any open positions at the moment. I did forward it to my boss, and she is not interested. His skill set is not something we’d hire for.

Ugh, yes, the unsolicted resume from a stranger mass-emailed to a bunch of people at once. My heart goes out to people who do this because they don’t realize it’s ineffective, but … it’s terribly ineffective. Cold-emailing strangers without responding to a particular opening is a tough sell as it is, but then when you do it in a mass email and don’t in any way personalize it to the person you’re contacting? It’s not going to go anywhere. I know people who do this figure that it hardly takes any time, and there’s a sliver of a chance it will lead somewhere … but it’s such a bad strategy.

You already did more than most people would do by forwarding it to your boss; I think most people just delete these. If you wanted to, it would be particularly kind to write back and let him know that you’re not able to help, and it would be even more kind to direct him toward resources that you think might help him better navigate his search.

2. Telling someone that grad school isn’t for them

My question really relates to post-graduate opportunities, so is slightly less office based than perhaps your normal question but I think in its general concept, is broadly the same. We have a student at the moment who has completed two degrees and wishes to do a PhD. However, having worked with him on PhD-type work for the last couple of months it’s clear he has neither the aptitude, nor the motivation, yet he still insists he is going to apply. I believe it will be a waste of time for whoever has to supervise him as he is not really capable of working independently and requires a lot of “hand holding.” We have tried in subtle ways to hint that it’s a difficult career choice and not for everyone and that there are other things out there but he completely misses our point, mostly just nodding along and agreeing rather than realizing it’s directed at him.

My question is, if I were to have a sit-down meeting with him about this, how do I go about telling him it’s not for him without hurting his feelings? He’s a nice person, I just don’t think he’s got it in him to be a PhD student.

There’s only so much you can do here, I think. You can paint him an accurate picture of what will be required and ask him if he’s sure it’s for him. Hell, you can even tell him that you wonder if it’s for him because of Observation X and Work Habit Y. But ultimately, this isn’t something you need to worry about convincing him of. You can give him your opinion, but what he does from there is really up to him. It’s not really your responsibility to keep him from trying a doomed endeavor, as much as it can feel like it is when you’re watching someone prepare to crash and burn. (And hey, who knows, maybe he’ll surprise you. Or not — but maybe he’ll learn something useful in the process.)

3. I don’t know how to respond to this meeting invitation!

Today, I sent a LinkedIn invitation to connect to a VP at a company that I would like to work for. Since I had no underlying agenda in targeting this particular person, I didn’t personalize the invite or in any way indicate a reason for connecting. The person accepted my invitation request and, to my surprise, sent back a note stating that they could be available to meet with me tomorrow! No reason was given for the meeting invitation and I’m unsure as to how to respond. [They just wrote, “Thanks for your kind invitation to connect. I will be traveling to (my city) tomorrow, and I could make myself available to you in the afternoon. Please note that my flight arrives to (neighboring city) at (time). and I will stay at (hotel name).”]

I absolutely think that this would be great as far as upping my chances of becoming a part of the company, but I’ve never had anything like this happen before and I’m lost as to how to proceed.

Hmmm. I’m at a loss too! That’s awfully generous of this person. In fact, my paranoid brain thinks it’s suspiciously generous (are you going to get mugged? get an Amway pitch?) But it’s more likely that they’re just weird with written communication (and have a habit of leaving out relevant context, like “I’d like to talk to you about X”) or that they’re a profligate networker.

I’d write back something like, “I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but I’m interested in working in ___ (field) and would love to pick your brain about ___ if you have time for it while you’re in town!”

4. Did I mess up my resignation?

I recently graduated from social work school with my MSW. When I was in school, I entered a part-time administrative position at the local health system around the corner from school which offered me flexibility while I was a full-time student. I have been working here for a year and a half and from day one my boss knew that I wanted to pursue social work opportunities upon graduation.

My boss has been very kind to me and even helped me set-up informational interview with two of her colleagues at the health system who are in my field. In April I started applying for jobs and everytime that I had an interview (especially if it conflicted with my job) I informed my employer. One of her contacts that I had an informational interview with asked me to interview for a very exciting position which I just accepted. My boss knew I was getting an offer because they contacted her as a reference.

Yesterday, I gave my official two week notice and asked that my last day be two weeks from then as orientation is the following Monday. My boss responded sort of strangely at first and said she had to think about it but then gave me a hug and said she understood. I feel guilty as we have no hired my replacement yet but we have started the process. I want to know if I could have handled this better or if I did the right thing. She knew I was looking for a job since April but I think her expectation was that I train a new person which I can’t do due to my new position. She has helped me so much throughout school and in my professional development and I am very grateful for that. On the other hand, I have also additionally taken on personal as well as professional tasks for her and think I have helped her as well.

It’s not typical for notice periods to be long enough to hire a replacement; hiring usually takes at least a month, and the typical notice period is two weeks (which is what you gave). It sounds like your boss was expecting you’d give her more notice, but never told you that. I’d go back to her and say, “I got the sense the other day that you were hoping for more than two weeks notice. Since two weeks is what I’ve always heard as standard, I assumed that was appropriate. They want me to start in two weeks, but is there anything I can do to make this go more smoothly meanwhile?”

(But really, she’s had more notice. She knew you were searching and had to know this was coming.)

5. Another post-rejection success story

I recently came across your site while on my job hunt (I recently graduated from college, the struggle is so real) and it’s been so helpful to me. I’ve used your advice to improve my cover letters and I’ve been noticing the amount of responses I get back has gone up. But anyway, I wanted to share with you my “success story” on handling rejection.

So I applied for this 3-month contract position at a company that I really wanted to work at and this was a great way to get my foot in the door. After going through the phone interview and in-person interview (which both went well), I got a response back in a week with no offer. I know, heartbreaking. The rejection email was very nice though and even encouraged me to look at other positions since the people I met with really liked me. I had read this article on your site and decided to respond back thanking her for her time and also talked about what a great experience I had and that the entire process just confirmed my original thought that this is a fantastic company to work for. I also had a line in there about any feedback she had. I didn’t expect a response to that email, but I was pretty happy that I ended things on a good note. Everything I had said in the email was true; it really was a great interview process regardless of no offer.

About a week goes by and I get an email from the recruiter. I assume it was just a response to my other email with some feedback, but she was actually emailing me about a 3-day temp position at the company! I thought the door to this company had already shut, but this was the perfect opportunity to get my foot in the door. So of course I accepted. I honestly think that it was my thank-you email post rejection that made me stand out. I remember reading somewhere that a thank-you email after a rejection is so rare that it always makes them think “Did I make the right decision?” Anyway, thank you so much for your advice! This was the silver lining that I needed in the otherwise grey and gloomy job hunt.

Yes! This is so important, and the vast majority of times, people just don’t do it.

Your response sounds incredibly gracious and exactly like the kind of thing that would make a hiring manager open to finding other opportunities to work with you, assuming you had some baseline qualifications. Thank you for illustrating how this kind of thing to pay off in ways you’d never expect.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I tried to negotiate salary and now I haven’t heard back for a week

I’m a recent college graduate who just got her first job offer. I attempted to negotiate the salary they gave me and asked if they would be willing to provide any sort of aid for my relocation. They asked me to give them a number for my expected salary and I said that I was hoping for something closer to $48,000 a year, which was about a $6,000 increase from their initial offer. They said that they would get back to me regarding the salary and relocation package but I’ve waited a week and have heard nothing from them. I’m starting to get really worried that I may have asked for too much and have turned off from officially offering me the job. I was wondering if I should call or email them for an update and if there is a proper way to word my request without sounding desperate?

It’s absolutely appropriate to check back in with them. I’d send an email to your contact there saying something like, “I wanted to check back with you about your offer. I’m extremely excited about the position and would love to move things forward.” If your’e willing to accept the original offer, you could also add, “I know we hadn’t resolved the salary question, but I’d be glad to accept the original offer you made.”

This whole thing obviously puts you in a tough spot; if you lower what you’re asking for now, you have no way of knowing if they would have met your earlier offer if you’d held out longer — but you also risk losing the offer altogether. Their silence is functioning as a mind game, whether they intended it as one or not. (They very likely didn’t — but it’s rude to keep you hanging like this.)

Ultimately, negotiating when you’re straight out of school is tricky. You don’t have much negotiating power at that point because you don’t have much of a track record, and salaries are more likely to be firm.

2. Bug bites at work

I work in a library. Recently at a work meeting in a public area, I felt like something was poking my bum. I tried to ignore it, figured maybe there was something pokey in the upholstry. Got home, checked and I have three bug bites on my tush, right where I felt the poking. I’m thinking that something might live in that chair? But what? Fleas, spiders, a louse, bedbugs (please let it be almost anything but bedbugs)? I know other libraries have this problem. But maybe it was me, and something I picked up on the bus? Which I hope didn’t go home with me. The bites don’t itch, although they hurt at the time I was getting bitten.

Anyway, should I say anything to any of the managers? I switched the chair I usually sit in with one from an area that doesn’t see much traffic, but I don’t know if whatever might live in the chair can travel. We get all kinds of patrons, including the homeless, but of course whatever bit me could have come from anyone, really. The staff here are great, so I probably could approach someone. What do you suggest?

Yes, speak up! Don’t you wish someone had spoken up about that chair before you sat in it, after all? It might have been a random bug just passing through, but in case it’s something more than that, warn your coworkers and mention it to someone in a position to order some kind of bug intervention.

3. Job offer from a dream company when I think I’m not the right fit

I’m the person who wrote in 2012 about interviewing at a company I was in awe of. I did receive an interview at the time but was not selected. I took the feedback they were kind enough to provide and took it to heart.

Now, almost two years later, I have been contacted by that company and received an offer for essentially the same position, slightly lesser, and am having some the same flashbacks! In those two years since, though, I took a job with a startup company and now, essentially, crammed 5 years of relative experience in to those two. I am so extremely flattered to even be remembered, much less to be offered a job, but as much as I was not a fit for them at that time, my gut tells me that I may not be the fit for them now. HELP!

I’ve earned so much experience in my current role it would be insane to walk away from it without moving up – or even sticking around another 2 years to gain another 5 – but at the same time this is exactly what I spent the last few years trying to achieve: to be in a position to work for this company. If I do decide to decline, how do I do so in a way that screams how flattered I am and that if something that aligns with my experience opens up for them to not hesitate to try me again?

Be honest with them. Tell them that you’re passionate about the work they do and would love to work with them, but that you’re ultimately looking for something more ___ and that you don’t think this is quite the right fit. Add that you’d love to stay in touch with them and talk with them about any openings that come up in the future that might be the right match.

4. Being told to use my personal email and cell number for a work project

Can a business that does not have a website and/or business emails require that I use my personal email address and my cell phone as log-on and contact for a free-access software program we use in the business? Specifically, I work in a private medical practice that has chosen to use a free-access electronic health record software program for Medicare compliance, and the software company is changing their log-in from a user name/password set-up to using an email address and providing a cell phone number so they can send access codes to a user if they log on at a remote location. I’m not fond of the idea of using my personal email address nor of giving my limited minutes cell phone number when I am not compensated for either (other than basic hourly salary) by my company.

Yes, they can require that. Why not set up a special email address just for this using Gmail or another free email service, so that you’re not using your personal email for it? There’s no real way around the cell number piece of this, but if it’s just to send you an access code, it’s not likely to use up your minutes. But if it’s an ongoing thing and it does cut into your minutes, talk to your manager about getting reimbursed for the expense, as you shouldn’t have to pay business costs yourself.

5. Is it rude to ask a company to remove a job posting they’ve filled?

I applied to a small marketing company two weeks ago after I saw an opening they had listed on their website. I had a suspicion it might be filled since one of the criteria was “able to start by April 1, 2014,” but I decided to submit my application anyway, given that it was still posted. The company has less than 50 employees, and luckily, I was able to submit my application directly to a person. She informed me the position had been filled so I sent back an email thanking her for her time. I just checked their website again to see if any new openings had become available as it is a company I really want to work for, and the one I originally applied for was still there.

Would it be rude to send her an email letting her know that the position they filled is still shown as open? Or would that come off as pushy and sound like I’m telling her she’s not doing her job?

It shouldn’t come across as rude but there’s a chance it will be taken the wrong way. Since ultimately it’s really not your business (it’s their mistake to catch), I’d leave it alone.