Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Coworker keeps singing near my desk, even after I’ve asked him to stop

I have a job that I love, and coworkers that I enjoy. However, where I sit in the office is becoming problematic. My desk is located in an open office space. There are others with actual offices around me, but my coworker and I sit out in the open floor area. This is great for being accessible to others, but there is one colleague that I am constantly having problems with. I’ll call him Mark.

Mark will often come by and talk loudly to himself or sing a song or whistle. He does even if it’s clear that my coworker and I are in the midst of focusing on work and not interested in engaging. This does not seem to bother my coworker, but it is incredibly distracting for me. I’ve asked him nicely to please stop. I’ve asked him to stop in the guise of a joke. I’ve snapped at him to stop once or twice. Nothing seems to work.

Today, he came to use the printer behind my desk and proceeded to sing a song of his own creation about the printing experience. I turned around and said jokingly, “just because you’re printing something, doesn’t mean you need to sing about it,” to which he responded, “I’m just enjoying life.” When I said, “I enjoy life too, but I do it quietly,” he replied, “You mean ‘sullenly’.”

I’m at my wits end. I don’t want to nag at him to stop. I’m not even sure he notices that he does it sometimes, and he definitely doesn’t notice how his noise impacts others’ work experience. I don’t want to look like the coworker with no sense of fun or humor, or the person who is always shutting down the good time. What can I do?

You could shush him each time it happens. Or you could do what I recommend managers do when there’s a pattern of problematic behavior from an employee: talk to the person about the pattern, rather than each individual instance. For instance: “Mark, I know we’ve talked about this in the past, but I want to raise it again because we haven’t solved it yet. It is very difficult for me to focus on work when you talk, sing, or whistle in my workspace. I know you might not think about it because my desk is in an open space, but it would be like me walking into your office and standing there singing. I really need to be able to focus on work — can you humor me and try to remember to keep it down when you’re at the printer and so forth?”

Also, Mark is a bit of an ass.

2. Was this hiring manager just being nice or is his interest sincere?

I graduated from college two months ago with a degree in communication. I worked for my student newspaper, had an PR internship with the college communication department, and then worked as a writing tutor in the library, so writing and editing are my strengths. Recently, a local PR and advertising company (one that not only has a fantastic reputation but also happens to employ one of my aunts) posted a copy editor/proofreader job. Since it was the one job there I felt I was qualified for, I applied immediately and got an interview. The interview was with someone fairly high up in the company, and even though he was very courteous and I thought the interview went well, I knew a company with such a great reputation would have a thousand more qualified people knocking down its door so I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t hear anything back.

The interview was a month ago, but I just saw my aunt who works at that company yesterday at a family get-together. She said they hired someone else for the copy editor position, but she also said the executive I interviewed with came to her desk, told her how great I was to interview and how articulate I was, and then said if I wanted to do PR I was definitely someone they’d be interested in. I would love to go into PR and my aunt said I should follow up. Here’s the thing: I don’t think I’m qualified for any of the jobs that are still open. Why would he not hire me for the position I had experience in but suggest positions for which I don’t even meet the minimum requirements in the job postings? It seems like he was just being nice, but I don’t want to squander an opportunity because I made assumptions. What should I do?

It’s possible that he was just being nice, but it’s also possible that he fully meant what he said. You have nothing to lose by assuming he meant it, and plenty to lose by assuming he didn’t, so you at least be open to the possibility that he was sincere — and follow up. Send him an email telling him how much you appreciated his time last month and that while you understand the proofreader position has been filled, your goal is to work in PR and you’d be grateful for any advice he can give you. If he was just blowing smoke at your aunt, this won’t do you any harm. But if he meant it, you might get a useful response and potentially something more down the road.

3. Leaving a job without notice due to domestic violence

I recently left a job with no notice due to a domestic violence situation. It occurred over the weekend, I had no friends or family in the area to stay with, and I absolutely could not safely remain living where I was — it was safest for me to pack and return 500 miles to my hometown in a very short time frame. I don’t know how to address leaving due to a “personal emergency” and thus being unrehirable by my former company with future job applications/interviews. Help?

“I had a family emergency that required me to relocate without much notice, unfortunately — but before that, I had an excellent X years at that job, with glowing performance reviews and achievements like X and Y.”

Also, consider reaching out to your old company and seeing if you can negotiate what they’ll see in response to future reference-checkers. I’m not sure how you left it with them, but if you explain however much you’re comfortable with, you might find that they’ll be very understanding of the situation. How’s your rapport with your former manager there? Or someone in HR? I’d pick the person you’re most comfortable with — or the one who seems most level-headed — and give them either a brief rundown of the situation if you’re comfortable with that, or an apologetic explanation that you can’t share details but a family emergency or safety issue was involved.

4. Bringing my boyfriend to an interview

I have an interview at the Ministry of Social Development on the 4th of August. (I’m in New Zealand). When I got the email inviting me to attend an interview, they told me that I could bring a support person with me if I told them in advance.

I’m planning to bring my boyfriend as a support person, but I’m also a bit concerned that the interview panel might see this in a negative light. I guess it’s kind of unfair to offer the option of bringing a support person, then judge candidates negatively if they exercise this option. But I’m just not that clear about the process. I thought you would have some good insight into this.

Are you sure they mean “moral support” and not “if you have a disability and need assistance”? I would absolutely not bring your boyfriend or anyone for moral support. It’s possible that New Zealand has really different conventions that we do, but in general, bringing a boyfriend or friend or a friend to an interview — particularly if framed as being for moral support — would come across as unprofessional.

5. Preventing employees from abusing overtime

As president of a small company, how do I prevent employees from abusing overtime? Our policy is to have permission beforehand, but this is ignored. We are required to pay overtime whether approved or not.

You handle this the way you would handle any other rule you need people to follow: by having consequences when they don’t. In this case, because you have to pay them overtime or risk legal fines, it’s serious enough that it wouldn’t be crazy to make it a fireable offense  — and indeed many companies do exactly that. Warn people once, and be willing to fire them if it’s a pattern.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Asking about birth control coverage when interviewing with faith-based organizations

I’m a young nonprofit professional with interest in working for a variety of faith-based organizations. Given all the current controversy extending even beyond the nonprofit field, it’s recently hit home for me that in the near future, I may very well in interested in taking a job at an organization whose employee health insurance does not cover contraceptives. I would never want to work for such an organization as it is clear that their mission and entire organizational culture is opposite of my own beliefs.

Normally, I would never bring up the specifics of employee benefits until after an offer has been given, but this issue seems to have a totally different foundation. I wouldn’t want to waste either of our time by going through an entire interview process only to reject the offer for these personal reasons. Is there any way to bring this up tactfully earlier in the process?

Probably not. Asking about details of benefits usually doesn’t go over well until you’re at the offer stage (or close to it). I suppose you could frame it as inquiring how they’re responding to the controversy on the issue, which might get you some information, but which may or may not feel relevant, depending on the specific organization you’re talking to.

But you can certainly ask at the offer stage. And if you discover an organization isn’t covering birth control, you can certainly make it very clear that you consider that unacceptable and that that’s why you’re turning down the offer.

2. How should I point out that my coworker plagiarized?

I realized that a staff writer has plagiarized one of their pieces from an earlier work by a another university staff member. There’s no attribution to the original piece, and the staff writer’s piece is essentially a shortened and partially rephrased version of the original piece. It’s the exact kind of plagiarism I constantly work against at my job (I’m a writing tutor). I have never met this person, and may never meet them, as they work at the main campus in another state. Typically when I email someone at the university campus, I don’t get much of a response. Should I email the staff writer asking her to at least credit the original source? Is it appropriate to bring it up to anyone else?

I’d email the writer and cc her manager, saying something like, “I noticed that this piece appears to have been pulled from ____ but doesn’t have attribution. Wanted to give you a heads-up that it’s missing the original source.” Cc’ing her manager may seem like overkill, but plagiarism is a big enough deal (and in an university environment, your coworker can hardly be oblivious to that) that it’s reasonable to make sure that someone other than her knows that it happened.

3. My job offer was revoked over my availability

I am a college student who just accepted a new part time job nearby campus that I am really excited about. I signed an employment offer form and am days away from orientation. I have given my two weeks notice at my previous job as well. I just was asked today about my availability. I sent them an email containing my availability, which includes a week and a half time I cannot work because of a school extra curricular commitment that I cannot get out of. I had mentioned this week long commitment during my job interview and I was assured it would not be a problem. Following my email I received a phone call saying that they are not going to give my any hours for the rest of the summer because of my unavailability and that I can apply again when my availability opens up.

Are they even allowed to do that? I had already been offered the job and had quit my other job because I really need the job. I have plenty of availability for the week before my commitment to do all the training they need me to do, the only problem seems to be the week I cannot work. After that week school will start and my availability will be even more limited, so I don’t even know if they would take me if I applied after. I am overly qualified for the position and have 2 years of previous experience working at the same company back home. I am not sure how to approach this whole situation.

Yes, they’re allowed to do that, but it’s crappy. I’d try calling the person who hired you and pleading your case — point out that you’ve already quit your job because you thought you had an agreement with them and that you were clear about your availability in your interview. Ask them to reconsider since you’re now in a difficult spot as you’ve already resigned your current job (stress that part, because it should make them feel ridiculous for doing this).

4. Getting a vacation time bump when you negotiated extra vacation time earlier

My husband started at his current company 5 years ago. When he started, he negotiated a starting salary, benefits, and vacation package of a senior employee. The company put him at the 5-year mark with respect to vacation – or 3 weeks of paid time. However he recently realized he may not be bumping up to the next level of paid vacation. While all the 10-year employees will get 4 weeks, he believes he will still get 3. He hasn’t confirmed this with his manager or with HR though.

Because he technically only has 5 years with the company, he is unsure if he should speak with his manager about moving up to the 10-year mark for vacation. At the same time he doesn’t feel that waiting another 5 years at this company for the additional vacation is something he wants to do at this point in his career. The company also allows no unpaid time off, so scheduling longer family vacations has been tricky as our children get older. Should he raise this topic in advance of the yearly review cycle in 2015 in order to give his manager time to review any options with HR? What would be the best way to approach this with his manager or HR?

Yes, he should absolutely raise this — maybe a month or two ahead of the review cycle. This isn’t something that should take major advance notice to implement (it should be a simple adjustment if everyone is agreed, which they should be), but if he wants it to kick in at that point, it’s reasonable to raise it before then.

5. Citing experience moving around because of a parent’s job

I grew up moving from one place to another because of my dad’s job (US, Singapore, England). Is there a way to use this experience(s) in answering interview questions or use to stand out/grab attention during my job searches and interviews?

Probably not. Experience with other cultures and the ability to quickly adapt to new contexts are both useful things, but that’s trumped by the fact that citing experiences from childhood and adolescence generally doesn’t come across well in a hiring process — unless it comes up organically in conversation with your interviewer. It’s not something that’s likely to be a differentiator; it might just be an interesting point in conversation. I’d construct your candidacy around what you’ve achieved, far more than where you’ve lived.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. HR is banning comments on our performance evaluations

Why would HR suddenly decide that no comments will be allowed on performance evaluations? For the past 20+ years with my employer, performance evaluations have consisted of meeting with one’s supervisor to review and evaluate the past year’s performance, and assigning a numerical rating supported by a brief narrative for each area of job responsibility. It usually also included a brief summary of goals or plans for the coming year.

When scheduling my evaluation this year, my supervisor advised that from now on, our new policy is to allow only number ratings and no comments on the evaluation form that is submitted to HR. Furthermore, she said she was forced by HR to delete all comments from last year’s performance evaluation last year without telling me first! The new policy is as follows: only if a rating is a 1 (does not meet) or a 5 (exceeds) are we allowed to include comments. For the middle-of-the-road ratings (2,3,4) however, it has been decided that “comments only confuse the rating, so they have been eliminated.” (Direct quote from HR.)

I believe comments are necessary to document why, for example, a rating was a 4 vs a 3 or vice versa. Otherwise, what’s to prevent a rating from being entirely capricious? In past years, I’ve had disagreements with my supervisor over ratings where we’ve compromised on middle ground and each documented our reasoning — under this new policy, that would not be allowed unless I completely blew it or rocked it out of the ballpark. I am particularly frustrated because aside from my annual review, my supervisor and I interact very little. My annual review is pretty much the only mechanism I have for educating her about my work. And now we are forbidden from maintaining any official documentation of that conversation.Do you have suggestions for pushing back on this decision?

This makes no sense. Employers should be looking for ways to get managers to give more feedback, not less, and it’s particularly useful to compel people to justify performance evaluation ratings (in both directions) because otherwise you too often get managers giving ratings that aren’t well thought-out. So your HR department is being ridiculous, and your company and its managers suck for not pushing back on them.

However, nothing prevents you from still having a detailed conversation with your manager about your performance (ideally before she does your evaluation), as well as the reasoning behind each of the ratings she gives you. The fact that it isn’t going to be documented doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t have that conversation — in fact, it’s arguably more important to have it now, since you don’t even have her written assessment to fill you in on how she thinks you’re doing.

But yeah, this is dumb.

2. Should I report offensive comments that I heard about secondhand?

I work for a large company with a number of different departments. On Fridays, a few employees from different departments gather at the end of the day to have a drink in one of the building’s common areas before leaving for the weekend. (It’s a very informal workplace.) During one of these gatherings, two friends of mine who are new employees heard some very inappropriate comments from another man who is much higher up in the hierarchy, but in another department. This man voiced his opinion that a competitive company was failing because they “hired too many women” and that women shouldn’t be directors because “they have a mothering instinct, so they baby their teams so that they don’t get good work out of them.” We are all in an industry that is heavily male and is still struggling to advance women in its ranks. My friends didn’t respond, but I feel they should bring this up with HR and told them so.

It has now been five weeks and my friends have not made a report. I really feel as though the company should know about this man’s opinions, especially since he is in a senior position and has the authority to hire people. Do I have any standing to report this myself, seeing as I didn’t hear it directly, or should I continue to pressure my friends to do the right thing, or just let it drop? For the record, my friends are male and I am female. They say they are worried about it “coming back on them” (especially as new employees) but my experience is that our company would never punish someone who brought this sort of matter to their attention. I bristle when I see the man who made these remarks around the workplace. (I am a director myself, and I would love to let him know how wrong he is – but again, he only said these comments to my male friends, and not to me!)

Oooof, I’m torn. On one hand, you heard about these comments secondhand — not the strongest position from which to know exactly what was said, let alone to report it. On the other hand, if it’s true, it’s highly offensive and might have practical ramifications, given that this guy is presumably in a position where he hires and manages people, and if your friends’ accounts are accurate, the company should absolutely know that he’s saying stuff like this to people. And if you do choose to raise it, you could be (indeed would have to be) transparent about the fact that you heard this secondhand, and could then let HR figure out how and whether to respond.

3. What kind of help should I ask my outgoing manager for in her last two weeks?

I started my current job in January and have really enjoyed working with my current supervisor. We have a great balance of independence and support, and she has been great about my professional development. She announced she’s leaving for a new opportunity earlier this week, and is finishing out her two weeks’ notice. She asked me what she can do to set me up for success – and I don’t really know what to ask for! Since she’s offering, I feel like I should have things to ask for but nothing immediately comes to mind. Are there things that I should be thinking about that would help prepare me for this transition period while we hire her replacement?

I’d ask for her for (a) her most candid feedback on what you do well and what you should focus on improving in, (b) any advice on projects, priorities, and any potential obstacles she sees coming your way in the next few months or year, and (c) any insight she could share with you about thriving at your company and/or with the incoming manager, since her role may give her a different vantage point than you have. You should also ask if you can use her as a reference in the future; although it certainly sounds like she’ll be glad to that, it doesn’t hurt to nail it down.

4. What topic should I pick for a presentation in an interview?

I have a second round interview for a nonprofit development position. For the second round, finalists need to make a 5-minute presentation. The executive director said it could be about anything–hobbies, interests, a recipe…or something work- and development-related. I love the concept and in a development role with public speaking, it makes sense to narrow finalists down this way. Is it best to go with a work-related topic or something that interests me? On one hand, development-related can showcase my experience and expertise. On the other, interests show a bit more about my personality.

It sounds like they’re assessing presentation skills, not subject matter knowledge — so I’d pick whatever you feel you can give the most engaging, interesting presentation on. If you can do that on something work-related, all the better. But let your ability to speak compellingly on the topic you pick trump all else.

5. Chastised for a normal request

An administrative employee asked the current project director to deliver a document to another manager he had a meeting with. The meeting was miles from the office and the admin would have had to drive there as well. He flatly refused and threatened to write her up for even asking. Is this a normal professional response or was he just flexing his management muscles?

No, that’s not normal. It doesn’t sound like there was any reason for him to refuse — but even if there was, he could have just explained that; threatening her with disciplinary measures for asking is absurd (and I’d like to know exactly what he’d say in this write-up — “she asked me to bring a document to a meeting to save the company time and money”?). He sounds like a jerk.