Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Our manager is never at work

A few years ago, a new assistant director position was added within my department to provide our staff with the direct, day-to-day supervision we had been lacking, due to the director’s many other responsibilities outside of our department. At first, it was a huge improvement – we had someone who was available to address concerns and issues, represent us at company meetings, etc. Over the last nine months, however, this manager has become increasingly absent. We are all salaried, so there is some flexibility in our schedules and time off, but working from home is not an option. She rarely works a full day in the office, typically coming in late and/or leaving early, or is out for a full day. I truly cannot remember a recent week when she has worked eight hours per day for five days.

Not only is this problematic for our department, in that we can’t find time to meet with her about issues that arise, but it is also incredibly draining on our morale. We’ve been receiving increasing pressure to meet revenue goals, etc., with some emails from our boss even mentioning that staff should be here for their scheduled hours and not be leaving 10 minutes early! I realize her absences could be the result of a serious personal matter she is attending to and doesn’t want to (or need to) share, but it seems like it would be wise for her to at least generally address her absenteeism with us, rather than letting the gossip and resentment fly. Her absence goes unnoticed by her supervisor (the director), due to the previously mentioned responsibilities and lack of his physical presence in our department. Is there any way to constructively address this without overstepping boundaries?

I’d start asking her directly for her time for specific things. For instance:

• “Could I get an hour on your calendar this week to talk about ___?”
• “We’d love to debrief how ___ went. Could you meet with the three of us who worked on it on Tuesday afternoon to discuss it?”
• “I’m hoping for your feedback on ___ before I need to submit final numbers on Thursday morning.”
• … and so forth.

While her time in the office isn’t your business, her getting you what you need to do your jobs IS your business. If you ask her directly for what you need in that regard and aren’t getting it, at that point it’s reasonable to talk to the department director about it (and you’ll be able to provide more concrete specifics than just “she’s not here”).

Alternately, if you want, you could go straight to the director now and say something like, “Is something going on with Jane? She’s been increasingly not around and I wasn’t sure if something was going on we should know about, or if we can expect her back more regularly soon.”

2. My coworker led a board member to think I’m upset at work

I am in a constituent relations role in a large nonprofit. A significant part of my job involves working with volunteers and donors. Recently, I was approached at an event by someone on one of our leadership boards; he “wanted to help me” because he heard I wasn’t receiving support from my colleagues. He mentioned a specific department that, allegedly, was pushing back on my initiatives. I was perplexed by his comments, as I have good relationships with my colleagues. He wouldn’t share the source of these comments, just “the grapevine.” He kept pushing for me to confide in him and to let him help me navigate all my issues. I was put on the spot and had no idea what he was talking about.

It turns out that this volunteer/donor had met up with a good friend of mine just a couple days earlier in a group setting. The friend (who works in our organization, but in more of a back-end role) offered her own “State of the Organization” update over a boozy dinner. Among her comments, she shared that I do such a great job, but that I am frustrated and that she wishes my colleagues and boss were more supportive of my work. Apparently she based this on an isolated anecdote I shared with her months ago, along with the occasional text message from me (“Is it Friday happy hour yet? What a long week!”) which I had considered to be pretty innocuous. The fact that she shared this with a volunteer/donor was absurd and unprofessional, but not malicious.

Obviously the big lesson for me is to be more mindful of how I choose to express myself, especially with this friend/colleague. However, my larger concern is with the volunteer/donor, who now believes that I’m unsupported, frustrated, and in need of assistance. Part of me thinks that if I bring this subject up with him again — to clarify things — it would just lend credence to nonexistent issues. The other part of me thinks that I need to nip this in the bud immediately so that these unfounded assertions do not spread. What do you think?

Yeah, I’d say something since he asked you about it directly. I’d say something like this: “I thought more about what you mentioned to me at the X event, and I wanted to clear it up: It sounds like like Jane misunderstood the situation and got some of the facts wrong — not surprising when it’s being related secondhand! I want to assure you that I’m actually very happy with (fill in whatever he the issues are), and not at all feeling unsupported! I really appreciate you checking in, and it’s great to know that I can approach you if there ever were problems like that. And I”m looking forward to seeing you next month at ___.” Or something like that.

And then talk to your coworker and tell her not to put you in that position again.

3. Writing compelling cover letters when you’re inexperienced and writing to a recruiter

I’ve had a lot of difficulties writing cover letters for positions advertised by recruiters due to a couple of reasons. My first problem is that I usually write about my interest in X or Y company and/or what I can offer them etc. in my opening paragraph, and my second is that I am a relatively recent graduate and have never held a position relating to my field. Finding work experience in the field has been near impossible for me as my degree was in a moderately specialised field of science, and the few work experience offers are only for students, presumably for insurance or worker’s comp related reasons.

Unfortunately, this has added up into my stated problem. The combination of addressing my cover letter to a recruiter who is not a part of the company whose position I am applying for, not being able to relate my passion for my field of study to a company’s goals or ideals, and not having a paragraph dedicated to accomplishments specifically related to this field of work has left me in a bit of a bind and has left me sending far more generic cover letters than I would prefer to. How would you address this issue?

Why would you be great at the job? There’s something that makes you feel you’d be good at it. That’s what your letter needs to convey.

Pretend you’re writing an email to a friend about why this job seems like a great match for you and why you’d be awesome at it. That’s the basis for your cover letter right there.

The fact that the recruiter doesn’t work for the company where the position is based doesn’t matter; forget that’s even the case and write the way you would if you were writing straight to the manager the role reports to.

4. Hyperlinks in a resume

Is it helpful to hiring managers to include hyperlinks to various publications or pieces of writing you have been involved in or is this considered annoying or gimmicky? For example, if I had worked on the development of a major report, would it be weird to hyperlink to the report? My thoughts that it would be helpful, if a hiring manager had the option to click through and see the report, but a friend thinks that they would get annoyed at being expected to do that and see it as a turn-off, particularly if there were references to multiple publications. I have a friend who works in communications and always does this to reference the website campaigns he has been involved in. Do you have an opinion on this?

It’s fine to do that. Your friend is wrong in thinking hiring managers would be annoyed at being expected to do that, because the mere presence of a link doesn’t carry an obligation to click on it. It’s an option if they want it; if they don’t, it’s easily ignored.

5. Listing community college awards when you also graduated from a four-year school

I have a question on how to interpret someone’s resume. In sum: They collapsed their community college degree information into their bachelors degree, reporting awards earned at each institution under just the one with no mention that there were multiple institutions involved.

The applicant turned in just a resume (a formal electronic application is not part of the process). This person reported just a 4-year university on the resume. However, under that bachelors degree entry, there were several awards and honors listed. I recognized that one of the honor societies listed was one strictly for community colleges (I’m a community college graduate as well). During the interview, I asked the applicant about this and they reported that they had graduated from a community college and had collapsed their honors, etc. from that degree under their 4-year degree. Note that there was no mention of the GPA from that community college or the community college at all, just a single GPA listed next to a single 4-year degree institution.

I found this very disingenuous. I have always listed my 4-year and community college degrees as separate entries, mainly because I had different GPAs and honors belonging to each. I asked a few coworkers about it and they thought it was completely fine to only list the 4-year degree and had no problem with all the person’s awards/honors/etc listed under that final degree. I would not have had a problem with listing just the final degree if only the awards/honors from that institution were listed. From my perspective, you have to pick one of the other: list them all with the respective awards, etc., or list the highest earned degree and only the items earned at that degree. What is your take?

Yes, you have to pick one or the other. It’s totally fine to list just the institution you received the four-year degree from. But if you do that, you forego the ability to list honors and awards from the community college, because if you list them without the school they came from, you’re implying that they’re from the other school, and that’s disingenuous.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker called my presentation “cute”

I’m junior faculty at a university. I don’t have tenure yet, I’m relatively young for a professor (in my 30s), and a woman (these may be relevant). Last Monday, I gave a presentation to our faculty Senate regarding proposed changes to one of our degree programs. I got great feedback on the presentation from my coworkers, boss, and the chair of the Senate.

This Monday, in our department’s faculty meeting, a senior faculty member (also female, with tenure, and older than I am–may be relevant) complimented me on my work by referring to my Senate presentation as “cute.” My response: “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Her reply: “Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said cute. It was adorable.” No one else in the room (including my boss who was running the meeting) said anything.

Later in the same meeting, also in front of the entire department, she noted that I was “mad at her.” I responded: “I generally don’t use the words cute or adorable to describe the work of my colleagues.” Her response: “It was a COMPLIMENT… (big sigh)… I guess I sort of apologize.”

This coworker has a history of saying inappropriate things to a variety of coworkers and students (sexist, racist, rude). In general, people act like it didn’t happen, and the boss says nothing. Next year, I will have a little more power (assuming I get tenure), and would love strategies to deal with this–but if you think I should let it go, I can be persuaded. Any suggestions?

Your coworker is a jerk, and it sounds like everyone is well aware of that. She was absolutely a jerk in this instance, but I don’t know that there’s much to gain by trying to hash it out with her. She’s a known jerk who said a jerky thing.

That said, if she makes another of these comments to you, I’d be prepared to stand up for yourself in the moment — which could be as simple as just saying “Wow.” (Hat tip to Carolyn Hax for that.) Or you can try the genuine confusion technique — as in, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean — adorable?” (said in a genuinely baffled tone). But really, I don’t think there’s a lot to gain by getting into it with a known boor.

2. Employee refuses to stop using company address as his personal address

We have an employee who insists on using our company address as his personal address. It’s not just that he has deliveries sent here, his address on record with us is the company address. Obviously this isn’t ideal for a number of reasons (confidentiality, etc.) and despite many attempts to get him to change his address to his actual address, he won’t respond to me (which is another irritating issue). I anticipate he’s doing this for some sort of tax break. I feel that I need to be armed with more of a legal reason that he change his address to something other than the company’s. Do you have any tax knowledge that I can use to light a fire? Is there any legal implications for him doing this? I saw your October 2012 post about a similar topic, but it didn’t quite answer this question.

I don’t know about legal implications, but as his boss you can simply order him to stop if you want to and impose consequences if he doesn’t. You don’t need the law for that.

And someone who refuses to talk to you isn’t someone who I’d be willing to bend normal rules for, as you might if he were great — and that’s also the sign of someone who has Serious Issues, likely in more areas than this one. Find out what’s up with this guy, because it’s more than this.

3. An advisory board member shared materials without permission

I am new to my role at a nonprofit organization – just 6 months in – and recently hosted my first Advisory Board meeting. The Advisory Board is comprised of a lot of “heavy-hitters” in the philanthropic landscape (Presidents/CEOs/EDs of large foundations) in our community, all of whom have a long history of working with the program I oversee.

I spent a lot of time working on a PowerPoint deck that featured a market analysis and program evaluation, as well as a potential growth strategy for this meeting. I think I must have done a good job, because one of the Advisory Board members forwarded the PowerPoint I made to a woman at another organization. (The woman at the other organization emailed me, asking to discuss my market analysis; obviously, I was surprised.)

My question is: can this Advisory Board member do that? I recognize that she is an important person in our network, and I should try to not upset her, but I can’t help but feel like my work belongs to our program, our organization. Am I over-thinking this?

She can do that unless your organization tells her not to. If your organization doesn’t want materials like this shared, it needs to make that clear to your Advisory Board members. If it already does and this was a violation of those rules, then you should talk to your manager about whether the organization wants to say something. (It may or may not.)

If you’re the head of the organization — which you might be since you were the one hosting the meeting — then you should decide what you want your policy to be on this sort of thing going forward, and then communicate that (politely) to Advisory Board members so everyone is on the same page about it.

4. The power of a gracious reply to rejection

I was on a second-round interview for a position that I had been told informally would be mine after I completed an internship with the company. I prepared for my interview carefully and tried as best I could to reflect well on my former supervisor, who had been toting me to the hiring committee for the past few weeks.

I got an email back letting me know I did not move on to the third round. I was surprised I didn’t move on, but realizing that many competitive candidates were under consideration, I just sent an appreciative email back to mention how much I enjoyed working with the company and how much I had learned during my time there.

Then just today I got an email inviting me back for a third round interview “upon further consideration.” During the time these two emails were sent, I accepted another offer, but it just goes to show that one should always, always, always build and maintain relationships across the industry and across companies, even when they can’t give good news!

I totally agree — and too often people don’t do this. I sent someone a nice, personalized rejection email earlier this week and within five seconds received back a brusque email that just said: “Ok.” She’s under no obligation to respond at all, but that particular response made her seem not especially gracious, and for a position that involved good social skills. It’s something I’d think about if I were considering her a job again. Conversely, especially gracious responses make candidates stand out in a good way and get remembered too.

5. My best reference is leaving the country for four weeks

I’m in the final stage of what has been a 5-month-long interview process for a great job that I am very excited about. We are working on scheduling the final interview stage, and my past experience with this group makes me think that scheduling probably will not happen quickly.

My immediate past supervisor is excited to provide an excellent reference for me, but she is going out of the country and unreachable for a month in two weeks. I am pretty sure she will be gone by the time the future manager gets around to checking references. My old supervisor is going to write a reference letter, but I read in your archives last night that letters aren’t as effective as the opportunity to have the conversation. She is also going to reach out to our old director to serve as a backup reference – he is aware of my work from a high level but not at the detailed level of my past supervisor.

At this juncture, it feels weird to reach out to the hiring manger and let her know that my main reference will only be available for the next couple of weeks. Is there anything I can or should do to be proactive here? I would hate for this to be the difference between me and another good candidate.

Sure, reach out to her. That’s not weird. I’d send a quick email saying something like, “I realize you might not be thinking about references yet, but I wanted to let you know that my most recent manager, who’s probably the best equipped of my references to speak to my recent work, is leaving the country on DATE and will be unreachable for four weeks. I wanted to alert you in case it’s useful for you to know before she leaves.”

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should I meet the person who replaced me at my toxic job for coffee?

I spent 18 months working in a very toxic workplace and when I finally left, my self worth and dignity had been totally destroyed. In the 18 months I was there I never did a single thing right according to my managers (there was three of them in that time period) although my work was highly regarded externally. I work in digital marketing so my work is very visible.

Three months after I left I landed my dream job, my own growing team to manage, a 25% raise, the right title and an amazing boss plus a 10 minute commute, not to mention challenging and autonomous work. I had and still have serious imposter syndrome but I work at it every day and I’ve come a long way, I no longer have panic attacks when my boss enters the room. Yes it got that bad.

Today the person who replaced me reached out to me today via linkedin. She was diplomatic in her words but did mention a toxic workplace and wanted advice on her career and how to move forward.

I would love to meet her for coffee or lunch to help her through this as I know how hard it can be to move on from this situation. My friends are amazed she reached out and told me to be wary. I can’t think of too many reasons why it would be bad, unless she was sent on a fishing expedition by the company to get me to say something they could act on legally. I would not discount them from doing this but I can’t see what they would gain as I left over a year ago. Am I being naïve and too nice?

I wouldn’t be wary of legal issues, but I’d ask yourself what good will come of this. You’re out of there; you’ve escaped. Wouldn’t it be better to keep it a clean break, rather than getting emotionally sucked back into any of it?

This person is a fully-functioning adult. She can navigate this without needing to pull you back into it. I’d tell her you wish her the best of luck but that you want to make it a clean break, and leave it at that.

2. What to say to a job applicant who plagiarized a cover letter

Since you posted the question about the stolen cover letter on May 5, I’ve received that same cover letter, too. There are a few tweaks, but it’s nearly identical.

I’d like to let the candidate know her plagiarism was discovered. She applied through our applicant tracking system, so we haven’t been in contact before. I’m comfortable giving candidates feedback, but I can’t figure out how to contact a stranger for the sole purpose of telling her she effed up. Email? Phone? What’s a way to phrase it that’s direct, but not overly punitive or condescending?

As an additional note, she’s completely unqualified for the position she applied to. Even with a perfect cover letter, I’d reject her.

I’m glad you’re going to call her out on it; this really pisses me off.

In the past when I’ve had a similar situation, I’ve sent an email saying something like: “This cover letter appears to be pulled from (URL). Can you shed any light?”

I include that last sentence because (a) I find it fascinating to see what people say, and (b) I am horrible person who wants to see them squirm.

3. Why didn’t I get an “exceed expectations” rating on my performance evaluation?

I work for a small department at a large state university. The only way for us to get raises is through our performance review “categories”; each category allows for a different raise percentage.

My boss ranks me extremely highly in her comments, and on the form for specific ratings on each part of my job notes in each part that I exceed expectations or at a minimum successfully meet them. More of the “exceed” expectations boxes are checked than “meet.” However, they also have a box for an overall “grade” and there she checked that I meet all expectations, not exceed, despite her gushing comments elsewhere.

What can I do about this and how can I address this with her? This is my first review here and my colleagues say she’s fairly arbitrary with this stuff, but that one box affects my raise significantly and I feel like considering her other comments and boxes she checked it should have been an overall “exceeds expectations.”

I don’t believe it’s a budget issue, as we’re privately funded and she does not have a great understanding of HR. Overall, she’s a wonderful person but a pretty bad manager. I work mostly independently and am the most senior employee in terms of rank other than herself.

Just ask her. For instance: “I wonder if you can tell me more about my overall rating. You scored me as exceeding expectations on the majority of of the elements above, but only meeting expectations overall. Could we talk about what it would take for me to exceed expectations overall?”

4. Consequences for missing too much work

I work for a school district as a bus driver, and have been asked by my boss to make a list of recommendations as punishment for those who miss too much work. We have a 180 day school year, and some have missed 30 or more days. What can we do?

Warn them after X missed days and fire them after Y missed days. And let them clearly know ahead of time that that’s your policy.

This isn’t about punishment; it’s about creating logical consequences when people don’t meet the bar you need them to meet.

5. Do phone interviewers usually schedule the next interview at the end of the call?

I had a phone interview today that went pretty well, though just a bit shaky. I did note to them that I was very flexible schedule-wise so that I could be fit in wherever they need someone most. I felt that was a big plus. After she finished answering some questions I had like, “What direction is the company headed, i.e. new services/member perks” (they are a fairly new startup) and “How would you describe the company culture?”, she asked if I had any other questions. I didn’t. She let me know she had all her questions answered and that I would be hearing from their hiring team early next week.

So here’s my question: do employers typically schedule the next interview in that same call (phone interview) if they want to move you on to the next phase? I know that it may vary company to company. Is it possible I could still be contacted for a second interview?

It varies. I won’t usually schedule the next interview on the spot; I want to process my thoughts, compare the person to other candidates, etc. If I’m very sure, I might say something like, “I’d love to set up an in-person interview and will email you later today about scheduling,” but I’m just as likely not to do it on the spot. So I wouldn’t read anything at all into the fact that a second interview wasn’t scheduled right then and there.

That said, you’re far better off moving on mentally rather than trying to read tea leaves and wonder if you’ll be called. Let it be a pleasant surprise if they call you, rather than something that you’re worrying about.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should I tell my staff I’m personally paying for the treats I bring them?

I like my employees so sometimes I will bring in food or treats out of my own pocket because I want them to feel they are valued. They think the company is paying, so they are not that thankful. Should I tell them I personally paid for these items?

I can understand the impulse here: You’re doing something nice and you’re paying for it yourself, and someone else (the company) is getting credit for it. But I don’t think there’s a way to explain to people that you’re paying for this stuff personally that isn’t a little awkward and/or that puts an inordinate emphasis on wanting gratitude directed toward you. Besides, if the goal is really just to reward people and build camaraderie, it doesn’t need to be directly connected to your wallet to have that effect. If it’s not producing the effect you want, I’d switch methods — away from food and toward making them feel valued in other ways (such as by telling them, recognizing great work, helping them develop professionally, going to bat for them when needed, paying them well, and so forth).

2. My coworker is vocally frustrated about his contract not being renewed

My question has to do with reasoning with a colleague about the most graceful way to leave his position and protect his reputation (as much as possible). I do understand that it’s not really my problem to solve and I’m not spending undue energy on it, beyond writing this email, but I did think you might have some insight on the issue. I do feel bad for him, and I also feel that he’s handling it poorly and would like to advise him.

My colleague and I work at a university on a contract basis, and this past September he was told that his contract was not being renewed for the following academic year. Understandably, he was not given detailed rationale for why he was not being renewed. From my perspective (which isn’t the same as his supervisor, of course), it doesn’t seem to be a performance issue – the fruits of our labor or lack of same are generally pretty visible to us. It seems much more of a cultural/personality issue – he advocated very hard for initiatives that from my perspective weren’t aligned with the goals of our leadership, and then was pretty quick to air his frustration in fairly visible ways.

Since learning that his job is being eliminated, he has become even more vocal about his frustration with our department, in particular that they’ve given him limited feedback about why he’s being separated from the organization. His argument is that he cannot improve/grow for his next role if they don’t give him that feedback. I think he’s being unreasonable to continuously push for feedback when they haven’t given it to him and to act as if they’re obligated to give it to him. In any case, I can tell that he’s being spoken about among our colleagues and I can only imagine our superiors in less than glowing terms. I’ve intimated to him that he needs to be quiet about it and given him rationale, but I’m wondering if there are other ways of approaching it or if I should just quit.

You could certainly say straight out, “You know, they’re not obligated to give you feedback and by pushing for it this aggressively, you’re going to make yourself look naive and difficult to work with, which I’m worried will be a hindrance to you when you’re applying for other jobs in the future.” You could also tell him that it looks to you like the reason his contract wasn’t renewed could be because of this kind of pushing — first about the initiatives that weren’t priorities for your organization’s leadership, and now about this. But I’d say that once and then stay out of it — after that, it’s really up to him to decide whether to heed that advice or not.

Speaking of this situation…

3. My contract wasn’t renewed and they won’t tell me why

So I’m a contractor, and my company recently lost the contract. The new company took over a coworker’s contract, but not mine– it’s understandable, as I’m still fairly new to this client. I applied for my current position with the new company, and after a phone interview, they decided to not choose me as a final candidate. For the job I already have. I politely asked for feedback to understand what happened, but they never responded.

My question is, am I right in thinking that I deserve to be told why I was rejected? I basically got fired from my job, and no one is willing to tell me why– in fact, all of the client managers seem happy with my work. How much following up can I do — either with the new contract company and with my client managers — without seeming whiny or unprofessional?

Not a ton. You can basically ask once, and if you’re not given an answer, it’s because they don’t intend to give you one. However, if you asked in email previously, you could try again in person — saying something like, “While I understand the decision has been made, I wonder if you’d be willing to share with me any factors that went into your decision-making. I had understood everyone here to be happy with my work, and if there’s anything that I should approach differently in the future, I’d be grateful to know.”

Make sure that you’re not presenting this as a demand for them to justify their decision, but rather as a genuine attempt to understand if there was something you should have been doing differently.

4. What questions can I ask an employer to ensure I’m not forgotten?

I interviewed for a position across the country and let my interviewer know I would be able to make travel arrangements immediately, should I get an interview. Our conversation went well, and at the end she invited me to call back if I come up with any questions/concerns that I would like to ask her. I asked about everything I could think of while we chatted, and that was almost one week ago. I would like to call back with a few general questions to remind her that I 1) am still very interested 2) so that I am not forgotten about. What are appropriate questions I can ask? Any tips or pointers would be very appreciated.

Nooooo, do not do that. Making up questions just to get back on her radar screen is annoying. She’s presumably busy, she knows you’re interested, and it hasn’t even been a week. Wait two weeks, and if you haven’t heard back, follow up at that point to ask about their timeline for next steps. (Or, if you haven’t already sent a thank-you after your interview, do that now — that will serve to reiterate your interest.)

5. Should I offer to help out with a vacancy at my new organization?

My question is regarding the position I accepted with a smallish company. It’s in a field I’ve worked in for a while and it’s a lateral move in terms of rank, but I would be learning a new side of the business which is what I want. One of the managers is leaving and someone within the company told me they don’t have anyone to replace her. It may be a little while, as this is a “work your way up” company where pretty much everyone starts on the front lines.

Part of her job is training. I’m an excellent facilitator and know the material she teaches. Would it be appropriate to contact HR and volunteer to help if needed? I don’t start with the company officially for a couple weeks. If I were already “in,” I would go ahead and offer, but I worry it’s presumptuous at this point.

This is something that should go through your manager rather than HR; your manager may want all of your time focused on the work you were hired for and might not appreciate you going around her to offer to do something else. Plus, you might have your hands full when you start and need all the time you have to focus on excelling at the work you were hired for. I’d wait until you’re working there and have a better sense of all these dynamics and then decide whether or not to make the offer — and when you do, float it with your manager first.