Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager asked me to think about if this is the right job for me

My manager has asked me “to think if this is really the right job for me.” What she is saying is that she doesn’t think it is the right job for me, and this isn’t the first time she has asked this question. I don’t think it is, but I certainly don’t want to talk her into letting me go.

I have been looking for another job, and would love to move from my current situation. That said, I need to stay working until I find something else. My current manager is very involved in my day to day work, so seeking work elsewhere isn’t the easiest thing to make time for. What is the right way to answer her?

When your manager is asking you to think about whether this is the right job for you, it’s a big warning sign that your job is in jeopardy. That means that it’s pretty urgent that you find time to job search, even though it’s hard to do that — because statements like your manager’s are the writing on the wall that your time there might be coming to an end, and it’s nearly always easier to find a job while you’re still employed than afterwards.

As for what to do now, with some managers you could be honest, say that it’s not the job for you, and agree on a transition period (during which you could job search while still being employed). With plenty of other managers, though, acknowledging that the job isn’t for you could mean that you’ll be out of there within a couple of weeks, if not less. So you’ve got to know who you’re dealing with here. If it’s the latter, your best bet is probably to say something like, “While it hasn’t come as naturally to me as I’d like, I want to do this work and I’m committed to meeting your expectations” and then work to show that you’re doing that — while simultaneously speeding up your job search in case that doesn’t work out.

2. How should I fill our daily required meetings?

We are required by our organization to have daily meetings that are to last no more than 15 minutes, following the Lean process. We are to review any new Just Do Its that have been submitted and follow up on old ones. We have 9 people in my department and we are average about 4 Just Do It’s a month. This doesn’t leave us much to talk about.

We’ve adopted our own format which is really just open to discussion, if anyone has anything to talk about. Some days we get into great discussions about an issue someone is having, or putting together a team-building exercise. Other days, nothing. We have certain people who never speak up, and others who always do. I’m trying to find a way to make this more engaging and somehow get everyone to play a role. We assigned a Safety position to one team member, but he never brings anything up. Our Analyst talks about system issues, and he does well. But the rest of them are bumps on a log. I try being lively and engaging, but I think they look at me like I’m just crazy and pray for the end of the meeting. I tried making everyone rotate who leads the meeting; they half-heartedly went through the motions until it was over. I thought about developing roles and throwing them into a hat. Each month you get a new role and you report on “something” at the meeting related to your role…I think they would all hate me if I did that, though.

Yeah, this is what happens when you have meetings for meetings’ sake, rather than because there are specific things that need to be talked about. I’m not at all surprised that you’re finding that some days you have nothing to talk about if you’re having meetings just because you’re being required to.

Rather than trying to find a way to fill time, why not push back on whoever imposed this requirement and either explain that it’s wasting people’s time or get advice on how to make the time do what it’s intended for? If that doesn’t work, don’t resort to making up things for people to talk about — convene, see if anyone has anything for discussion, and if they don’t, adjourn the meeting and let people get back to work.

3. How to handle a request for an online review when you don’t want to give one

Last Wednesday, my wife and I closed on a house. As with all home-buying experiences, this one had some hiccups. Unfortunately, our agent was far less adept at navigating these hiccups than we would have hoped. Without going into all the details, there were issues from paperwork mishaps to the fact that he effectively showed what cards we held during each negotiation. How did we end up with such an agent? We’d known him professionally for almost two years, and used him a couple times in signing rental leases (a common practice in our metro area) before finally buying a home. He is very friendly and has a great eye for properties and for what we really valued in properties. For straightfoward rental contracts, he was great. We would just never use him again for a homebuying transaction (which for context is his main line of work in real estate, aside a few random rentals like our previous ones).

Despite the hiccups, we closed and he got us a nice engraved butcher-block cutting board as a housewarming gift. He also sent us a link to rate him as an agent on a popular reviewing site. This requires ratings for different metrics, including things like negotiation. We feel bad not leaving a review after his personal request, but we would not recommend him as a homebuying agent. Unlike saying a job candidate has excellent penmanship (and conveying he may not be a great fit), talking up our agent’s good qualities is at best infelicitous. These are good qualities for an agent, but not compared to the legal and administrative work in actually negotiating and executing the contract to purchase a home.

Since this is effectively how he gets professional feedback, what should one do? Have a frank–and awkward, and undoubtedly relationship-breaking–conversation with him on how we’d rate him (just not do it online)? Rate him honestly but perhaps while still being a little charitable? As additional context, while he’s been in the business nearly 20 years, he is just getting his online presence up-to-date. As such, he only has a couple reviews online. In all honesty, I’m afraid even a charitable portrayal would likely undermine his ratings. Any suggestions?

I don’t think you’re obligated to tell you him your concerns about his performance if that’s a conversation you don’t feel like having. He’s not an employee, where you’d have an obligation to provide candid feedback and professional development. How about just ignoring the request? Plenty of people aren’t online reviewers, and receiving the request doesn’t obligate you to fulfill it. If he follows up with you about it again and you feel like you can’t continue ignoring it without being rude, at that point you could either fall back on a white lie (“we’re not big online reviewers”) or bite the bullet and nicely tell him why (for instance, “to be honest, we loved working with you on rentals but were a little dismayed by XYZ in the house purchase — and I think it’s the house-buying work that you’re looking for the review on”).

4. I’m hearing impaired and having trouble with my manager’s accent

I started a new job and have a supervisor with an Indian accent who I have difficulty understanding. I am hearing impaired, which exacerbates the situation, especially when I ask her to repeat something multiple times. I feel frustrated in these situations, and she probably does too. When she repeats things, she says them faster, which doesn’t help either. She is aware of my hearing loss but not of my trouble with her accent. I don’t know if I should bring this up. I feel odd doing so.

“I’m so sorry, my hearing doesn’t handle accents well. It’s nothing on your side, but it will help me hear if you can slow down.” Say this nicely and even a little apologetically, so that it’s clear you’re not just being a pain about talking to someone with an accent.

5. Do I have to be paid for my notice period if my employer tells me to leave immediately?

I have heard before that if I give the proper two-week notice and my employer asks me to leave immediately, they have to pay me no matter what for those two weeks. Is this true?

No, that’s not true. They don’t have to pay you for any time you didn’t work, even if they tell you to leave sooner than the ending date you offered.

However, in most states, you could collect unemployment for those two weeks (because even though you resigned, which would normally make you ineligible, those two weeks without pay were involuntary). Unemployment is usually significantly less than your paycheck would be, but it’s something.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My former employer is asking me to fill out paperwork 6+ months after I left

My former employer keeps asking me to fill out additional paperwork after I’ve stopped working there over six months ago. This started about 2 months ago, and at first I didn’t have a problem and filled out a page or so of documentation they required. Their requests have become progressively more time consuming and I would like to tell them that I don’t want to complete it.

These documents relate to topics most managers cover during orientation (i.e. where fire extinguishers are, safety training, immunization records, general policies, etc.). The only explanation I ever received was when they first asked me and they phrased it along the lines of “we’re trying to get all of our paperwork in order for an inspection by the joint commission.” After that, all other emails were phrased along the lines of “Oh, by the way, fill this out ASAP.” The paperwork includes going online to watch videos on hospital specific training and then take a quiz covering the material, and emailing affidavits that I completed the work. (I work in the healthcare industry, and I presume the reason they are asking me is that they are in the process of being re-accredited by a national accreditation board for hospitals and they want to make sure all of their paperwork is in order.

On the one hand, I don’t want to burn bridges with anyone even though I’ve moved on to another position in which I’m so much happier. But I also feel that all of this documentation should have been given to me to fill out when I first started working for them (some of which I have already filled out before) and I do feel justified in saying no. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Is there a way to communicate this to them while still sounding professional?

This is ridiculous. It’s not your fault that they didn’t get this done while you were there, you shouldn’t be asked to make it look like you filled it out earlier when you didn’t, and you certainly shouldn’t be spending your time watching videos and taking quizzes for them (!). The next time they send you one of these requests, say, “I don’t feel right filling this out when I’m no longer working there. Thanks for understanding.”

2. Firing a volunteer on a college publication

I’m in a leadership position for a big, respected college publication. Though none of us are paid, getting on staff at any level can be competitive. I brought on a new member to my team this semester who’s brought nothing but headaches. When I interviewed him over Skype, it was beyond awkward, but I chalked it up to technical issues and was already impressed by his portfolio. My team is small and friendly, but in meetings with them he’s always incredibly uncomfortable and formal. Even one-on-one, he seems nervous and makes communication hard.

It would be easier to excuse if he put in good work, but he’s been unexcited about any of the work I’ve offered to him to do and has trouble meeting deadlines. His work is always several days past when I needed it and not at all what I’ve asked for— he’s so slow with revisions that I’ve had to give someone else his work to finish or just redo it myself from scratch. It’s dragging the team down.

I’ve informally talked to him about the problems and have tried to give him more details on projects, check in with him ahead of time, etc, but nothing has changed. People have suggested I sit down with him and talk frankly about his performance to give him an easy out, but I’m worried that my past attempts at gently correcting have resulted in him thinking that there’s no problem, and I dread the awkwardness of this conversation. It’s finals period and we’re done with production for the semester, but we do recruiting over the summer so I need to figure out relatively soon if he’ll be coming back to the team next semester. What do I do? Can this be solved over email during the summer or do I really need to have this conversation in person? Should I just grit my teeth and bear it?

The problem is that you’re being gentle when you need to be direct: “I need you to turn in your work by the deadline and in good enough shape that major revisions aren’t needed. We can try another assignment if you’d like to, but after that, I’ll need to start assigning articles to other writers.”

But since the semester is over and you’re staffing for next semester, it’s probably too late for that. In that case, you can simply say, “Because your work was often late this past semester, I’m going to give some other writers a chance to do the work.” Ideally you’d do this face to face or over the phone — email really isn’t the right medium for tough feedback like this. Consider it your penance for not being direct with him earlier!

3. Boss relocated my friend’s wallet

I’m looking to help a friend at work who was in tears today over a minor but sensitive issue. She had her wallet in her mail slot and our boss took it. She took it because it had her phone in it. But she didn’t know where it was, she was scared, and she was embarrassed. Our boss had put it in her office to teach her a lesson. It’s that legal to take something so personal?

Yes, that’s legal. She didn’t steal it; she moved it to a different part of your office.

Sometimes I wonder with these questions: What if it weren’t legal? Is your friend really going to go through the time, expense, and professional damage of bringing legal action against her boss for relocating her wallet when no actual damage was done? I suspect it’s more about a sense that Things Should Be Fair, but if you think that all the way through, how would the logistics of enforcing that work? Even if the law allowed you to head to court every time your boss did something you didn’t like (which it doesn’t), is that something you really think would be beneficial to your life? Ultimately this is probably more about wanting some fairy godmother of workplace justice to swoop in to teach the perpetrator a lesson, but … no such fairy godmother exists.

(None of this is intended to pick on you, letter-writer; I’m just musing out loud here.)

4. How can I cut down or end a tutoring arrangement?

I’m a student with way too much on my plate. A year ago, I took a part time job as a tutor. I enjoy it, but the teaching plus prepwork that I do is taking too long. I want to tell my student’s mother that I need to cut down from twice a week to once a week…or once I start class again next week I might want to quit altogether. My only previous employer is my dad, so I don’t know how to have either of those conversations. Both the student and his mother are lovely; I don’t want to be abrupt or rude. What should I say?

First, decide which it is — cut down or stop altogether? Then, just be direct. For instance: “I really love working with Bob. Unfortunately, my schedule has changed and I’ll need to cut our sessions down to once a week. I think that will be enough for Bob because ____. Will that work for you?” Or: “I’ve really loved working with Bob. Unfortunately, I need to cut back on my schedule and won’t be able to continue tutoring after (X weeks from now). I’d be glad to recommend another tutor who might be able to take over the work, if you’d like me to.”

5. Mentioning jobs that aren’t on my resume

Is it ok to mention jobs that aren’t on your resume during the interview? I’ve been primarily in the same positions for a while, but during school I had some summer jobs that just didn’t make the cut for the resume. However, they still taught me some great life skills.

While preparing for interviews, I occasionally think of things I did for these jobs. Would it be weird to say “oh well one summer I did this really great thing at this one job” if they look at my resume and don’t see it listed?

Sure, that’s fine. Just add a quick “It’s not on my resume” so they’re not scanning for it.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker keeps hanging a wet Speedo on his office door

I work in a department of eight women and one one man, in a company with many more women than men. My male coworker is very good at a his job and has been there many, many years. Since I’ve been there (not as long as him, but still a substantial amount of time) I’ve witnessed a certain habit of his. I guess he swims before work, and when he gets to the office he hangs his Speedo on the front doorknob of his office to dry. I mean, that’s gross, right? It especially bugs me for a few other specific reasons: 1) He hangs it by the crotch. So if I ever go into his office when he’s not there I stand there for a second thinking about how to open the door to avoid touching any leftover Speedo crotch residue. (Using an elbow is usually pretty effective.) 2) He sits right by the kitchen, so anyone on their way to make coffee or get their lunch can see it, and it seems unsanitary to have underwear you swim in next to where people eat. 3) His office is carpeted, so the water just drips right onto the floor, day after day, which doesn’t seem like it can be that good for the carpet?

I’ve brought the issue up to my boss, and she’s laughed it off as it’s the way he is, and the sentiment seems to be the same throughout the rest of my department. There was even one day when a coworker went into his office and accidentally knocked it over and she joked about how she wasn’t going to pick it up. (Ew.) Am I being too squeamish/uptight/germaphobe-y for finding this whole thing unsanitary and creepy? Is there anything else I can do?

I think creepy is overstating it, but I’m with you that it’s gross.

Why not just be direct? As in, “Hey, Bob, it’s gross to see your Speedo hanging on your doorknob. I can’t even open your door without touching the crotch. Can you please hang it somewhere else?”

Beyond that though, if your boss doesn’t care, there’s nothing else that you can do. But I’d start with a clear, direct request to the perpetrator.

2. My boss is missing in action

My coworker and I work in a small regional office with a direct boss and the two of us. Our boss has stopped showing up to work. Most days she rolls in an hour to two hours late, and then leaves within a few hours for lunch. Some days she returns several hours later for an additional hour or so, other days she never comes back. One day she just never showed up.

At first we assumed she had personal problems and we cut her some slack, but it has been six months now. We finally mentioned this to the head of the company because we were getting concerned, people outside the company are noticing, and we couldn’t cover for her anymore. The company head was not happy, but seems a bit incredulous. They asked if she could be at meetings, or otherwise engaged in management activities, but there is nothing on the calendar, and we can verify by talking to people at other companies that she is not present at events. We can not find record of any work she is doing beyond checking her company email. She delegates everything else to us.

The head of the company has asked that she start writing a weekly report and this week she turned in a report claiming credit for things other staff did, and reported on meetings she was not at as if she were (“So and so said to say hi”). She is either making it up or a colleague at another office passed on the message out of courtesy to the company owner. An admin accidently sent us the report, so we don’t really feel we can reference it to the owner.

We don’t want to seem like we are piling on, but this is getting ridiculous and morale is at a severe low. Her solution to the boss asking her to take a more active role is to try to recruit more interns. She literally asked some of our customers if they wanted to pitch in on projects. What should we do?

All you can really do is keep your manager’s boss in the loop. You started doing that by alerting her that what’s going on, but you haven’t finished — there’s still important information that she doesn’t know. I’d go back to her and fill in the rest of the highly relevant details here — that she’s writing reports indicating that she was at meetings that she wasn’t actually at, that she’s reporting she did things that others actually did, and that she’s asking customers to help on projects (!).

You report all of this matter-of-factly, not emotionally. From there, it’s up to her boss to decide what to do. But you don’t need to hide anything on your manager’s behalf — and in fact shouldn’t.

3. Company paid for interview travel — and now wants to be paid back

As a finalist for an out-of-state position, a colleague traveled for the interview, and the hiring company paid for airfare and hotel. Once offered the position, my colleague declined based on concerns regarding the hiring company, including comments made during interview process. Now the hiring company is contacting my colleague demanding reimbursement for flights and hotel. My colleague has since accepted a position with a different out-of-state employer.

I have not heard of a company seeking reimbursement from a candidate. Are there legal ramifications if not reimbursed? If my colleague reimburses the hiring company, has the opportunity to write these expenses off as tax deductions been compromised since the check is written to hiring company, and my colleague has no receipts for airfare and hotel?

In my opinion, a cleaner way to handle would be only to reimburse expenses upon acceptance, rather than paying up front. This just seems shady.

What the hell? No, this isn’t okay. They presumably agreed to cover these costs and didn’t warn your colleague that the bill would revert to her if she didn’t accept the position. They can’t change the terms of that agreement retroactively just because they don’t like the outcome. And they certainly have no legal grounds to demand repayment, assuming there was no agreement to the contrary — which is a reasonable assumption since that would be so bizarre. (While not every employer offers to cover interview travel costs, those that do don’t make it contingent on accepting the position if offered. They cover them, period, or they don’t cover them at all.)

Your colleague should say something like this to the employer: “I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding here. XYZ Company agreed to cover the costs of the interview travel. We didn’t discuss any reimbursement in the event that I didn’t accept the position. I appreciate you covering the costs, and wish you the best of luck with your new hire.”

If they still continue to push after that, she should say, “Our arrangement was that XYZ Company would pay these costs, and I’d like to stick to that agreement.” And then she should stop responding, because this is shady as all get out, and they’ve got no standing here.

4. Using knowledge of a friend’s salary when discussing pay

I have a phone interview coming up. I know about the job because I have a friend and former coworker who works the same exact job. We have somewhat similar job histories when pertaining to the type of work the job entails. I want to be prepared for the salary question, but I have never had to answer it before. The problem is I know exactly what they offered her and how she negotiated and what she received because I was close to her when she got it. Is it safe to assume the range would still be the same?

Yes, very safe to assume that. You should absolutely use that to inform your thinking (without mentioning her specifically, of course).

5. Recruiter said asking about contract extensions would be disqualifying

My mom is currently trying to find a new job after being employed for about 15 years with the same company. She had an interview today at a drug company for a contract position. When she met with the recruiter, she was told not to ask about the possibility of the contract extending past December when it runs out. She was told that if she did, she’d be immediately removed from consideration.

This seemed kind of strange to me, but I’ve never done contract work. Is this common practice? My parents are trying to relocate, so it was something she really would like to be able to consider if she does get offered the position.

It seems a bit harsh, but it sounds like they’re trying to ensure they’re not going to end up with someone who’s half-expecting the contract to be extended and who then will be upset/disappointed if it’s not. It’s also possible that the recruiter way overstated the message.