Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My new job is moving and my commute is changing — can I ask for a salary bump?

On Monday, my first day of work, my new boss told me that the office is moving 10 miles north next month. With traffic, that will add 20-25 minutes or maybe even more to what was a 15-minute commute. If the job listing had originally included the area we are moving to, I probably never would have applied in the first place. No mention of a move was made during the interview process or when I was offered the job.

I don’t want to just pointlessly gripe about it and seem ungrateful, but I also don’t want to wait til my 90-day review to use it as an extra reason for a salary bump. If it matters their original offer came in at the low end of what they advertised, and what I asked for. Any suggestion on how to handle this?

This is tricky, because it’s not a huge change, like adding an hour (and you’re still well within what’s considered a pretty reasonable commute in many metropolitan areas). But you could try saying something like, “I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. To be honest, the short commute was a major factor why I accepted a salary at the lower end of the range I was looking for and the range you advertised. I saw it as a perk worth forgoing some money for. So it was a surprise to find out on my first day that will be changing so soon. Is it possible to take another look at the salary for this role, and move a bit higher in the ranges we’d both talked about earlier?”

This is going to be tough to pull off, because trying to renegotiate salary after you’ve already started generally comes across as bad faith, but if you stress that the commute was a major factor in your not negotiating earlier, it’s possible that it could work. It’s risky though, and will probably depend on your particular manager.

2. Asking HR for employees’ birthdays

I have some direct reports and, as a morale thing, I’d like to acknowledge their birthdays when they come around. I’m sure they would tell me themselves if asked directly, but I was wondering whether it would also be kosher to ask HR for the dates? No years necessary, if that matters.

Eh, it wouldn’t be a terrible thing if you did, but why not ask people directly and explain you like to acknowledge birthdays? Some people are weird about birthdays and don’t like celebrating them at work, and that would give them the opportunity to opt out.

3. I feel left out that I wasn’t asked to attend a colleague’s going-away celebration

I am a lower level manager within public sector. I sit with the senior management team. I have a good relationship with them but they just organised a work night out mainly to say farewell to the boss who I also provide PA support. They have discussed in front of me but haven’t invited me. I am quite upset and would like your advice on how to deal with situation. I am the only person in room not invited.

Well, you have three choices — stew and feel terribly, decide it’s not that big of a deal, or say you’d love to come along. I vote for options two or three. If you do the third, just say something like, “I’d love to come with you to send Jane off. Would I be in the way?” You will either hear that you’re welcome or you’ll hear that they were making it senior management only. (Who knows why they’d do that, but if they want to, who cares? It’s not personal.)

4. Explaining to a former boss that a medical condition was causing me to make errors

I was an intern for a small but highly influential company in my field. The person with whom I apprenticed is extremely important in particular. I also worked closely with another key member of the team on a number of more detail-oriented and logistical tasks. There were several instances when I couldn’t remember something properly, or couldn’t remain alert and focused after long hours of work, or misplaced something, etc. This caused a rift between she and I, and possibly diminished my favour and competence in my boss’ eyes.

Since leaving, I have been diagnosed with a medical condition that explains a lot of the trouble I was having that year. It took almost a year and a lot of tests, but I am on medication and have regular meetings with a specialist. Is this worth disclosing to my old boss, as I still rely on him for a reference? If so, what would be the best approach? I feel as though some of the errors I made were absolutely a direct or indirect result of the condition, and I respect him so much that I’d be horrified to think that he might otherwise be chalking it up to incompetence, laziness or a lack of caring/respect on my part.

Sure. I’d reach out by email and say that you’ve long been mortified by some of trouble you had staying focused while working for him, and that you’ve since found out that you have a medical condition that was causing that, and it’s now under control. Explain that it’s bothered you that those problems occurred at all, and that they might have impacted his impression of you, and that you want him to know that you did take it seriously at the time and you’re happy to be able to say you’ve resolved it.

5. My interviewer might know that I just started a job somewhere else

Two years ago, I did a 6-month internship at Nonprofit Teapots through an agency, let’s call it CTV. I have kept in touch with my manager at Nonprofit Teapots and she has been a reference for me multiple times. Nonprofit Teapots is expanding their programming and creating a new permanent position, and I have an interview for this position in 2 weeks. (Yay!)

However, I am currently doing another 6-month internship through CTV at State Teapots. My manager at Nonprofit Teapots was a reference for me for this position. I don’t know if she is aware I accepted and started this position, but since she has worked with CTV agency before there is a good chance she knows I have this internship.

My question is, do I mention the work I am doing at State Teapots in my interview at Nonprofit Teapots, which is with my old manager? I have only been at State Teapots for 1 month, and if I were to take the job at Nonprofit Teapots I would have to abandon my 6-month commitment at State Teapots after just 1.5 months. I know you generally advise against mentioning jobs you have not been at for very long, but due to the nature of thus internship program I have learned a bunch of new skills in the last month that would make me a better candidate for the job at Nonprofit Teapots, including certifications I have received. So should I mention my new position and skills, therefore also acknowledging that I would be abandoning the 6 month commitment I made, or not?

I’m not convinced that there’s much that can happen in a month and a half that would strengthen you as a candidate, especially not enough for it to be a deciding factor in whether you get hired or not, so I don’t think there’s a lot of value in mentioning it. Plus, there’s something distasteful about using that experience to try to get a different job, when it means you’ll be breaking your commitment there. Of course, if she asks you about it, then you have to be honest (and most people won’t fault you terribly for leaving an internship for a full-time job), but I wouldn’t proactively bring it up.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Firing an I.T. employee who might sabotage our systems

We have an employee who works from home and comes into the office one day a month. He handles all of our computer programming needs. He runs queries, reports, etc. that we cannot do for ourselves. He was supposed to create a new program for us, so we could run these reports on the front end. We have been waiting three years, and he has not produced a thing that we can do from the front end.

We are now purchasing software (very expensive) to ultimately replace him in a few months. He has been very adversarial, and I think he’s unstable. We HAVE to tell him in two weeks, but want him to stay on and help us through the transition. We do not know what kind of reaction he will have. (We imagine the Incredible Hulk going crazy vs. relief that the stress will soon be gone.) Do you have any suggestions for telling an employee who could potentially cause lots of harm to our systems, but if cooperates, he could stay on for a few more months, get a paycheck, unemployment, reference, etc.?

If you seriously think he’ll cause sabotage, you need to revoke his access and have him leave immediately. As in, revoke his access while you’re in the meeting with him. Since he’s your only I.T. person, I’m sure you’re thinking there’s no way to do that, but there is; you’ll need a contract I.T. person or firm who can work with you on it. More advice on this is here.

However, if you trusted him to behave like a normal, professional adult, then the typical thing to do here is to offer generous severance contingent on a smooth transition (and often on certain benchmarks being met during that time).

2. Can I renegotiate salary for my new job?

I recently accepted an offer as a full-time school social worker. During the hire process, the job was described as a team position – I would work with half of the student body and the other, part-time social worker would work with the other half.

Since the time I accepted, the part-time social worker submitted her notice, and the school has decided not to fill her position. Instead, they will hire contractors to do very limited spot-work, leaving me to work with the essentially the entire school. I’m curious if you think this situation lends itself to renegotiating salary?

No, or at least not without knowing a whole lot more. For instance, if you were going to working significantly more hours or needing to do tons of travel that wasn’t part of the original job — in other words, if the conditions of the job were significantly changing — then sure. But this kind of thing does happen, and generally people aren’t paid more for it right off the bat. (Although sometimes they’re able to use it as part of an argument for a raise down the road, once they have a successful track record of doing the work to point to.)

3. No one pronounces my name correctly

My manager and many of my colleagues have trouble pronouncing my name. My name is Andrea, and it is pronounced “On DRAY uh.” I realize that Andrea can be pronounced at least three ways. I’m named after my grandfather, Andreas. I get a lot of comments about “saying your name the fancy way” or even “being pretentious” but it is honestly my name. I even went by the nickname “Ondi” as a kid.

I am currently looking for another position and am wondering, when I move to another company should I change the spelling of my name or use another name altogether? I don’t like that people stumble over my name or are uncomfortable. It gets tiresome correcting people or giving in and being called Andy. Any thoughts?

I don’t think you should change it; it’s your name after all. But you’re the one who has to live with the aggravation, not me. The question I’d ask yourself is: Would eliminating whatever amount of aggravation you have to deal with from this be worth having a different name? I know my emphasis there makes it sound like I’m pushing you toward my original answer, and I suppose I am, but ultimately you’re the only one who can decide how you feel about that question.

4. Office lock-out

I am the office manager for our Human Resources department. I was out today and just found out that one of the directors was locked out of her office suite and didn’t realize it until after hours. Instead of simply calling security to let her in, she had a colleague call me and leave a message for my help – I LIVE 30 MILES AWAY. Since I was not home, she and another director unlocked my office, unlocked my desk, got the key to the key box, and let themselves into the key box that holds the spare keys. Then they called to let me know they didn’t need my help, what they had done and that, in the search to find the spare key, they knocked all the keys off the hooks in the key box and left them a mess in the bottom of the box, which will require someone taking a chunk of time to reorganize them.

Such drama. Was this ridiculous or what, considering security could have let her into her office in no time? Thank you for any insights you can shed on this. I’m baffled.

It sounds silly but not outrageous (although the key mess is rude, unless it was an accident and they were apologetic). In their defense, they might not have known or remembered how far away you lived, and they might not have realized that security would be able to help. It might be worth reminding people that security can help in those situations. Also, if you don’t want them doing all that unlocking of your stuff (office, desk, key box), which I imagine might be especially true for an HR office, make sure people know that too. But on a ridiculousness scale of 1-10, I am rating this only a 3!

5. Do I need a new cover letter when reapplying for job?

I applied for a company a year ago with a cover letter that got me an interview (which I botched). Would it reflect poorly on me to resend a similar cover letter but with a few adjustments?

Yeah. You need to come up with a new letter. Think of how weird it would seem to you if your friend sent you an identical letter to something she’d sent to you a year ago. Cover letters aren’t just a cover sheet; they’re substantive, so it really can’t be the same one that you know they’ve already read and interviewed you from.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I feel guilty job searching when my manager is sick

I’ve been at my current job for a number of years now. I joined the company right after college. The company has been growing, and there is a big push for marketing, which I am not comfortable with. Additionally, I have been working primarily on the company’s largest client. While it can be rewarding work, I have been stressed out so much due to the workload and their demands. I have had a few panic attacks, ulcers, and now high blood pressure. I would really like to leave my job and pursue other opportunities in order to lessen my stress and feel better about my skills. I know I have the ability to do good work, but working on this client has killed my confidence and self-esteem.

I have a few interviews coming up, but I just found out that my boss is sick. Is it terrible of me to think about leaving at such a time? There are other partners of the company that will step up, but I have a lot of specific knowledge on the client. I feel guilty for wanting to leave, but I have been miserable for the past couple of years. I had finally decided that I wanted to leave prior to finding out the news of my boss’ sickness. Can you offer any advice?

No, it’s not terrible of you to be thinking about leaving. You need to make the right decisions for yourself — and that would be true even without your deep unhappiness there and the stress-induced health issues, but it’s 100 times more so in light of those things. If your manager is a good manager, she wouldn’t want you basing career decisions on her health; she’d want you to do what’s best for you.

Job search without guilt, and just do what you can to ensure a smooth transition when you leave.

2. Declining a lunch or breakfast meeting without being rude

I am a membership director for a chamber of commerce. It is a sales position, obviously; I meet with members and prospects on a continous basis, at my office or their place of business. Recently, a new male employee of one of our members has asked to meet either for a 7 a.m. breakfast or a lunch meeting, even suggesting a restaurant close by their office. I can easily say that before 8 a.m. I am not available due to child care. I have a personal policy that I do not meet with those of the opposite sex outside of a professional environment, alone (mainly as advice from other coworkers or colleagues). How do I say this to him without it coming across in a “I think you’re creepy” kind of way and not to offend him?

Well, you definitely shouldn’t tell him that you don’t meet with men alone outside the office; that’s going to make him feel uncomfortable and awkward (because it implies you think he’s in some way unsafe to either your person or your reputation) and will cause tension where it doesn’t need to exist. Instead, why not just say that you have trouble getting away for lunch but you’d be happy to meet with him at his office or yours, and suggest a few times that would work?

That said, if your stance on this is really mainly due to advice from coworkers (as opposed to personal preference), it might be worth rethinking. Breakfast and lunch meetings are pretty common, they generally take place in public, and it seems like a shame to to have a blanket rule about half the population. Again, if this is your personal preference, then fine — but you mentioned others advising it, and I’m pretty surprised that you’re finding that widely recommended.

3. Are these recruiters too disorganized to work with?

I applied for a manager position at a mid-sized company (6,000 employees). I passed the initial phone screen with “Internal Recruiter A” and was invited to interview in person with the hiring manager. A few weeks after my interview, I was contacted by “Internal Recruiter B.” I thought it was a follow-up call, but realized she was recruiting for the same position and was attempting to put me through an initial phone screen. When I shared that I had already interviewed in person, she became flustered, put me on hold, and then stated that there were two recruiters working on this position and they just had overlapped their efforts. Not a big deal, but I didn’t think this was a good sign. Despite several attempts for feedback or a decision on my interview, I never heard back from either recruiter.

Months later, they posted a new opening which required a similar background, but was clearly a different position. I decided to apply, but was not contacted. Today, I received an email from “Internal Recruiter B” saying she had come across my LinkedIn profile, liked my background, and would like to talk to me. My LI profile very closely matches my resume so I don’t understand the confusion. I anticipate your advice will be “RUN AWAY” since they sound like a very disorganized company. However, how would you suggest I respond to her email (if at all)?

Eh, I don’t think it has to be such a big deal. Recruiters talk to thousands of people; it’s not a deal-breaker that they overlapped efforts or forgot you’d applied a few months ago, or that they’re responding to your LinkedIn profile now when they ignored your resume earlier. I’d just say, “I’d love to talk with you. To refresh your memory, we actually spoke a few months ago about the X position.”

4. Everyone who worked on a project was thanked, except me

I was recently asked to help out on a project outside of my normal duties because no one on that team had the skills to do it. It took almost a week of my time where I started to fall behind on my normal and I let manager know. After the project was complete, the entire team was thanked, invited to a launch party, and taken to a separate dinner. Except for me. It has made working with this team a chore and dampened my normal enthusiasm for work. How can I raise the fact that I feel my work has been undervalued because I don’t complain, without sounding like I am whining about being left out?

I wrote out a response to this and then read your letter again and realized this project was another team’s, which changed my thinking a bit. Here was my original answer: Wow, that sucks. I can see why you’re feeling stung. I’d approach this from the assumption that there was a miscommunication somewhere rather than that you were deliberately snubbed — both because that really is the most likely explanation and because it’ll make it easier to bring up. Say something like this to your boss: “I don’t so much mind that I wasn’t asked to the launch party or dinner to celebrate the X project, but it makes me worry that you and (head of the other team) don’t know the role that I played on it.”

But realizing now that it was a different team that brought you in for one piece of it, I think I’d try to just let this go. Yes, ideally they should have recognized the work you did, but they’re probably thinking of it as “team X’s project” and just didn’t stop to realize they should include you too. That sucks, but that kind of thing happens. If they were appreciative of your work at the time and you otherwise feel well treated at work, I’d try not to be too bothered by this.

5. Linking to a work project from my personal website

I have worked as a programmer analyst at a university for a little over a year now, and I just finished creating a new web application that potential students will use to apply for admission to the university. It was an important project to my boss and to the president of the university, so I would like to add a screenshot and explanation of the application to my “Projects” section of my personal website. I thought it might be okay because it is a public-facing website. Would that be inappropriate?

Sure, I don’t see any problem with that.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Employer asked if I’m still interested before making a hiring decision

I’m in the running for a gig for which three people interviewed. Because a friend of mine works at the organization, I was able to find out that they already offered the gig to someone else, who turned it down. I received an email from the hiring manager tonight that basically said, “We’re down to two candidates, are you still interested in the position?” I find it hard to respond to a question like that — I feel like the hiring manager should decide if they want me, and if so they should offer me the position, and at that point they should give me the chance to accept it or turn it down (once I have all the info, like the salary!). I understand that they’re probably just trying to save themselves time — they don’t want to go through the process of deliberating between the two candidates if it turns out that one of them is no longer available. But I don’t like being put in this position — because I feel like they’re asking me to commit to accepting the position if it’s offered to me, which makes it harder later on to negotiate, or to ask for more information, or for time to think.

I feel like what’s in my best interest is to write them back and simply say “I’m still interested,” and then see if they offer me the position, and then at that point I can bring up my doubts and questions. However, I’m a little afraid that if I do that, and then end up turning down the position, they’ll feel like “Well, why didn’t you bring all of this up when we asked you if you were still interested?” But if I bring up my doubts now, I’m afraid they’ll take that as “OK, I guess you’re not still interested,” and drop me as a candidate, instead of deciding whether they really think I’m the best fit for the position. What do you think — is this a common dynamic? How would you recommend handling it?

You’re over-thinking it. They’re not asking, “Would you accept the job if offered?” They’re asking if you’re still interested, because for all they know, you’ve accepted another job or stopped looking or decided it’s not for you. Saying “I’m still interested in the role” doesn’t mean “I have no questions or concerns” or “I’d accept on the spot” or “Offer me anything and I’ll take it.” It just means that you’re still interested in talking.

2. My assistant asked for her job description — should I be worried?

My assistant emailed HR asking for a copy of her job description. She has been with our organization almost two years. She is not the most communicative person, and now I am stressing out about what this means.

I don’t want to attack her with “I heard from HR that you wanted your job description” because of course she has every right to have a copy of the job description and I wouldn’t want to make her feel bad for asking. Normally HR wouldn’t share this request with me but our HR staffer is brand new and wanted me to confirm they were sending the correct job description (title was slightly different).

“Jane checked with me to make sure she was sending you the right job description when you asked for it the other day. Anything I can help with?”

But that’s really about all you should say. There are all kinds of reasons she could want her job description — a random realization she didn’t have it and should, updating her resume (which could mean she’s looking, but could also mean she’s someone who likes to keep her resume updated even when she’s not looking), some question about how her role is framed, who knows.

3. Reaching out to former internship manager when I feel guilty about not meeting all her goals

Over the past year, I’ve interned with three departments at X organization. I routinely took work home because I wanted to produce quality work and make a good impression on everyone, especially “Mary,” who has supervised and mentored me. I split my time between Mary’s department and one other both semesters. “Toni,” who’s in a third department, supervised me during the second semester when Mary took a leave of absence. Mary’s work was redistributed and since I was the only person working under her, I performed a large part of her role for a major project. Before going on leave, she had told me that hiring me temporarily after the semester was a possibility.

In late March/early April, more than halfway through the semester, Mary (while still on leave) got in touch with Toni and me to lay out concrete goals and deliverables. Because I love X, my coworkers, and the work itself, it was easy to devote lots of time and effort there. Although not the only reason, this caused me to fall behind with my graduate coursework and now I am taking an additional semester. It then hit me that my internship with X would end with the semester in mid-May. I expressed my concerns to Mary and Toni regarding the magnitude of the project for this part-time internship split over departments, especially now with a foreseeable end-date. While I accomplished a lot, I did not reach several of Mary’s goals and for that I feel worried. On my last day, Toni said that she appreciated my work and recognized the limitations of the internship, and that Mary would figure things out.

Mary just returned and the deadlines for the major project are quickly approaching. I haven’t spoken with her recently and feel a mixture of guilt, sadness, and relief. I want to check in not only because I want to get her feedback and assurance for my current job hunt, but also because I really value our relationship. I would greatly appreciate your advice on how to structure such a conversation.

Well, first, no one expects an intern to fully cover for a regular employee who’s out on leave or to meet all of the goals that person normally would have had. That’s why it’s an internship and not a full-time staff position. I’m sure they were absolutely prepared for things not to be fully covered while Mary was gone, and if they weren’t, there’s some delusional and dysfunctional thinking going on there. I suspect you’ve put way more pressure on yourself than what the organization actually expected of you (to the point that you ended up needing to do an additional semester of school — that’s not good!).

You can of course reach out to Mary now in order to maintain the relationship like you would with any other former manager or coworker — but it should not be about apologizing for not meeting all her goals while she was out and you were an intern. It should be about telling her how much you appreciated the opportunity, that you hope her leave went well, how’s the baby, would love to stay in touch and have coffee sometime, etc.

(Also, before anyone screams about intern abuse: This could be a paid internship, and the organization’s expectations could be totally reasonable. My sense is that the letter-writer has put a lot of pressure on herself internally, but that it wasn’t necessarily in response to pressure from the organization itself, especially in light of some of the details in the second paragraph.)

4. Employer I’m interviewing with has an indiscreet admin

My former boss, with whom I had a great working relationship, recently left our organization to work for another company in a related, but non-competitive field. He had asked me when he left to keep my eyes open for a position they would be creating to support him and his new boss. I was recently contacted by one of their recruiters alerting me to the position and asking me to submit my application. Today I was contacted by another recruiter to set up a phone interview. (YAY!)

At work today, my colleague (Colleague A) and I were discussing her current state of job dissatisfaction and she mentioned that another colleague of ours (Colleague B) told her that she applied and was scheduled for an interview for the same position to which I applied. I did not disclose to A that I am also in the process of interviewing for this position, as I do not want to compromise my current employment. During our conversation, A also mentioned that B has been getting information from her friend, who is an admin with the other organization and is currently supporting these executives. My dilemma is that all three of these individuals have now shown a lack of discretion and I really do not want my current colleagues (A & B) to know that I am interviewing for this position. My fear is that the admin will see my name on the calendar and tell B that I am interviewing, and that she will in-turn tell A and (who knows who else?). Is there a way to discuss this situation and my desire to keep my involvement confidential with the recruiter that does not sound paranoid or tattle-y?

Why not reach out to your former boss, who’s now working there and who encouraged you to apply? He knows you and so it’ll be easier to say something about this to him without having to get precisely perfect framing. You can just say, “Hey, I don’t know if there’s anything to this, but I wanted to pass it along to you in case it’s something you’d want to know about, and also because I want to make sure that the fact that I’m interviewing doesn’t end up leaking to anyone here.”

5. Company requires us to take vacation in one-week increments

Are companies allowed to force you to take your vacation days in weekly increments instead of taking a day here and a day there? If so, is there any way around it instead of looking for a new job?

Yes, companies can indeed require it. You and other employees could certainly try pushing back, by pointing out that this makes it impossible to take off a day for a local family event, or a long weekend at the beach, or so forth. Generally presenting a reasoned case against something like this is the best first step before deciding to find a new job.

(That said, in some jobs it’s wise to require people to take at least one solid week off a year — it’s a best practice in fields that deal with money, because it’s a way to spot fraudulent activity by whoever does their work in their absence, because many fraud schemes require the person to be constantly present to keep it going or they rely on no one else looking at their records).