Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. New manager is calling previous employers from 9+ years ago

I have a current employer (of 9 years) who had changes in management. One of the managers above me called previous employees and employers asking how I perform and how I treat others (outside of the current organization). Is this allowed?

It’s allowed, but it’s weird. If the new manager wants to know about your work, she should look at your actual track record in your organization and talk to others who know about it. Calling employers from more than nine years ago is incredibly bizarre, not to mention a really indirect route to information that she has much more direct and recent access to. I’d take this as a flag that you’ve got someone above you who has some really odd ideas about how to do things, and maybe as a flag that she has concerns about you.

In your shoes, I think I’d just ask her directly what’s up — as in, “I absolutely understand the need to get familiar with me and my work. There are a number of people here who have worked closely with me, including X, Y and Z. I wasn’t sure about why you were getting in touch with old employers — is there any concern that I can help address?”

2. How to decline a job offer after seeing the contract

I have always worked in museum education and have recently started as a freelancer due to having to constantly move (my husband is in the military). Freelancing has been a bit slow to take off, so I am also looking for part-time jobs that I can fit around it.

I applied and got accepted as a workshop leader for a small company I had never heard of before. The job seemed ideal for my circumstances and the owner of the company seemed very pleasant and competent. I accepted the role and she said she would send a contract. I then heard nothing for two weeks. I started getting red flags and looked into the company more. There seems to be very little about it on the internet apart from a few old adverts and no social network presence, which I found quite strange for the industry. When I got my contract, I started getting more red flags. There is a lot of preparation, meetings and training that I would not get paid for and I was responsible for sourcing clients. I also had to give over a month of notice to leave, whereas I would only get a week if they decided to let me go. I would not be entitled to any holidays.

I know none of this is awful but have decided not to take the job, as I am getting a bad feeling that I have decided to trust. I was quite enthusiastic about the role during the interview as I understood it to be something different. How do I politely decline the offer after my conditional acceptance? I am a bit worried about burning a bridge as it is a small industry.

Well, you’ve just gotten information about the offer that you didn’t have previously (unpaid work, responsibilities, notice requirements, and no holidays), so it’s very reasonable to just explain that now that you have additional details, it’s not in line with what you’re looking for. I’d say something like, “Thanks so much for sending the specifics of the offer. I hadn’t realized some of what was included in the contract (such as the lack of paid holidays, the unpaid training and prep time, and the client sourcing responsibilities). Reading this over, I see that it’s a bit different from what I was envisioning, and I think I need to decline the offer. But I appreciate the time you spent talking with me and wish you the best of luck in filling the role.”

(Alternately, you could try to negotiate away the parts you don’t like; that’s often doable — although it sounds like you’re not really interested in the job at this point.)

3. My boyfriend’s coworker tried to throw a computer at him

Yesterday, my boyfriend got a computer monitor thrown at him twice, by an angry coworker. The coworker, Ivan, asked my boyfriend, Tom, if he had finished a P&A form that Ivan gave to him earlier in the day. Tom replied that yes, it was finished, and continued to work on what he was doing. Ivan got angry, and through the service window, tried to throw Tom’s computer monitor at him. Since it was attached to his computer, it didn’t get very far. Ivan knocked over a full can of Coke while he tried chucking the monitor, and then proceeded to come into the door of the department and do the same thing, since Tom put the monitor back in its place as Ivan was coming around the corner. He got into Tom’s face, and being about 2 feet taller and wider than Tom, was towering over him and trying to edge him on to fight. Apparently, Ivan wanted to know something else completely than what he asked and got mad that Tom couldn’t read his mind. Tom told Ivan that he wasn’t going to fight him at work because that’s just stupid, and Ivan tried picking up the monitor to throw it again, only this time it fell onto the desk and came apart at the seam, landing in the puddle of Coke that was on the desk.

First of all, Tom’s boss wasn’t at work and didn’t bother to tell anyone he wasn’t there, so Tom had to call his boss and leave a voicemail of what happened. It took about 5 to 10 minutes for the boss to get there. Instead of asking if Tom was okay, he asked if anyone had seen this happen, and yes, another coworker saw it, and had immediately gone to see if Tom was okay after this altercation. The only thing that happened to Ivan is he’s getting written up. He hasn’t apologized (not that he’s required to, but he is an adult) and Tom is kind of afraid of Ivan, as this came out of nowhere and his boss seemingly doesn’t care about his employees’ well-being.

Is there anything my boyfriend can do to protect himself? Since he never got physically touched, I don’t see a point in filing a police report. Also, instead of doing anything, his boss just asked Tom what he wanted him to do about it and had sort of a condescending tone. My boyfriend is already looking for another job elsewhere, since he doesn’t want to work in a hostile environment. Is it normal for a boss to ask if anyone witnessed something before asking if both parties are okay? I can understand if it’s a liability issue, but otherwise I think it’s kind of messed up. (Tom told me last night that he’s not really afraid of Ivan, but he’s worried that this guy is going to be waiting for him sometime after work, since he stays about 30 minutes longer than everyone else, and he’s also worried that this guy is going to freak out for no reason again. But he knows his boss isn’t going to do anything, as I used to work here and was being bullied by another employee and all I was ever told was to suck it up, even though he was actively preventing me from doing part of my job and spreading rumors to customers that I didn’t want to do my job.)

Wow. Yeah, ideally your boss would have first talked to Tom about what had happened rather than going straight to asking whether anyone else had seen it. That’s a question he might want to ask at some point in the conversation, but it’s weird that it was the first thing out of his mouth. On the other, he showed up in 5 to 10 minutes on a day he wasn’t at work, so that part says he took it pretty seriously. But the write-up sounds like a slap on the wrist, obviously. (Although it’s possible it was more serious than you know; for all we know, Ivan was raked over the coals by their boss and told that if he even looks askance at Tom in the future, he’ll be fired. That’s not something you’d know about.)

As for what your boyfriend can do, well, if he feels unsafe around Ivan, he should tell his boss that. He could also make a point of not being alone around the guy. But beyond that, I’m not sure there are a lot of options here, unfortunately.

4. After being rejected, asking if I should apply for a different role

I’ve had a decent number of interviews that I felt went quite well but ultimately did not result in an offer. I’m reaching a point in my job search where some of the positions I want to apply to are similar ones at the same organizations I interviewed at. However, since it’s par for the course not to give any feedback following a rejection (and occasionally no formal rejection at all, even after an interview), I sort of have no idea where I stand. Is it okay to email my prior interviewer and ask in a friendly way if they think it would be worthwhile to apply for Job #2? I always send a thank-you note after an interview or after a rejection, so I don’t think there should be any bad feelings involved. In my fantasy world, asking this leads them to remember me in a positive light and put in a good word with the new hiring manager, but I also would really appreciate being told I’m just totally not qualified or am a bad fit for the organization, were that the case. Good move or terrible idea?

Sure, it’s fine to do that … but I’d also manage your expectations about responses. If these are organizations that won’t give feedback as a matter of policy (and sometimes won’t even bother with rejections), you might not be likely to get a candid answer — but there’s no harm in trying, particularly with an interviewer with whom you had a particular rapport.

5. When an employer asks if you have pending offers

I was wondering if it was a good sign when HR calls from an interview I went on to say they are still in process but wanted to know if I had any pending offers or if I’m interviewing anywhere else. They called a week later with that response and again the following week with the same response and to apologize it’s taking so long.

It usually means that they know their process is dragging out and they want to find out if they’re in danger of losing candidates they’re interested in as a result. So it means you’re someone they’re interested in, but you could be one of several; I wouldn’t take it as a sign of anything more than that.

(That said, “are you interviewing anywhere else?” is an obnoxious question to ask. “Are you in the final stages with anyone else?” or “do you have timeline constraints we should know about?” are fine, but “are you interviewing anywhere else?” is silly.)

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss left the company but still emails me daily

My boss left our company almost 3 weeks ago. Since then, he has been emailing me almost every day. We were on friendly terms from start to finish, though towards the end (unbeknownst to him) I found his presence extremely irritating. Our company experienced some serious problems that jeopardized everyone’s jobs, got some people laid off, and majorly set our branch of the company back. Unfortunately, everyone in our small office recognized that he had everything to do with it. Though we all liked him as a person, his failings as a leader were glaring (long story short). Happy to bid him adieu, I am now haunted by near daily communication with him — friendly letters, general questions, inquiries about how this or that played out here, pictures of his plants, hey look he got a dog, etc etc. I’m not the only one he emails, either. For example, he asked me today if another coworker went on this other interview, and sent a separate email to that coworker asking him directly.

This is my first full-time job out of school and I know that he valued me very much, so I’m anticipating having him as one of my top references in the future. Am I obligated to respond to all these emails to keep the relationship friendly? I wrote back a nice response to one of his first “what’s up” emails, and since then have been giving short but friendly responses to only some. If I start ignoring all of them, am I damaging our relationship? If I keep answering, will they never end? I know it’s only been three weeks; he could be having a hard time adjusting and the emails could eventually dry up on their own. I would like to ignore all of them starting now, but I also don’t want to spoil a reference or be flat-out rude.

I think the only person you’re obligated to respond to daily social emails from is your significant other, and even then I’m not sure it’s really obligatory. So no, you do not need to enter into an intense pen pal relationship with this guy. I’d ignore the work-related questions (not his prerogative anymore — and not in his best interest to stay emotionally involved like that anyway) and reply the rest at a rate of one response per every three he sends (or once a week, whichever you prefer), as long as his rate is this frequent. And your responses don’t have to be long, either; “cute dog!” and “glad you’re doing well — too swamped to write much!” will suffice.

It sounds like he’s having a hard time accepting things have changed, but I think these will trail off pretty soon.

2. How can I avoid candidates shopping our offer around?

My company recently made an offer to a candidate. The candidate took our offer to our major competitor and got them to match it. Fortunately for us, she decided we were a better fit for her, and a bidding war was averted. It got me thinking, though: is there any way to avoid this situation in the first place without being heavy-handed? What could we have done better up front to keep her from even thinking about shopping her offer around?

Be the better place to work, and do a good job of illustrating that — which gets into culture, benefits, and who else you have working for you. (High performers want to work with other high performers, and you can involve your great staff members in helping to woo candidates you’re really interested in.)

That said, you don’t really want a candidate who’s making a decision solely on money, when the numbers are relatively close. Money matters, obviously — but assuming that your offers aren’t wildly different, you really don’t want someone who bases their career decisions on that alone.

3. My manager got upset that I asked a mutual contact about a job candidate

My department is hiring a part-time person, preferably a student, and my supervisor has been very informal with the hiring process. We do not have a formal search committee, and we’re only doing one round of interviews so we can quickly hire someone. I must admit, I’ve never been on a hiring committee before and am fairly new to my profession, so I’m not sure how this normally works.

One of the candidates worked for a friend of mine in another department at our institution, and I emailed my friend to ask about the candidate’s skills and personality. This was before we had made a decision on who to bring in for interviews, and I thought my friend’s feedback could save us some time, in case the candidate wasn’t right for our position.

My supervisor was upset that I did this on my own and proceeded to give me a lecture about the confidentiality of applicants and how it’s not fair to contact supervisors who are not on the applicant’s reference list. My supervisor and I worked this out. It was partially a miscommunication issue because we never set a schedule for our next steps, and she never made it clear what she would be doing as the manager, such as contacting the applicants’ references. But I’m wondering — did I do something wrong? Is it unfair to a job applicant to informally contact a friend who knows the applicant, especially before interviewing them?

No. This kind of informal checking happens all the time, and it makes a lot of sense. If you know someone who worked with the candidate and trust their judgment, of course you’d want to get at least their quick take before deciding whether to move forward with the person. Not only is it fair game to contact mutual acquaintances, but it’s ludicrous to think that you’re confined to the candidate’s reference list — you’re absolutely not, and a good reference-checker will go off list as a matter of routine. (The exception to this is that you’d never contact someone at their current employer without their permission, because that could jeopardize their job.)

That said, since you’re not the person leading the search, it would have made sense to check with your manager before reaching out to your friend to see if she wanted that input at this stage. But that has nothing to do with the general propriety of doing this sort of informal reference checks; they’re fine to do.

4. My company wants to fire me for writing in some wet cement

I’ve work for a city for 30+ years in a garage. All of the other departments come to us for repairs, including the police department, and every one uses the F-bomb, managers also. They poured a little concrete in our work area and it shouldn’t have gone there. I wrote in it, “no balls f-u Tim” as a jest. He and I are good friends and he would do the same to me. But now one of the employees (who is trying to go off on stress leave and they found out it was fraud) took a picture of this and went to HR and they want to fire me for this. I’ve been a perfect employee, and this was not where it would be seen by the public and also I scratched it out and it’s gone. Shouldn’t they give me a some kind of warning first? Like I say, it goes with the culture and we don’t deal with the public.

It sounds like an overreaction to me. People sometimes do stupid stuff, even otherwise good employees, and if it’s out of character and an aberration, you don’t fire a 30-year employee for that.

You work for a city, so there are probably loads of regulations on what they can and can’t fire you for, and what does and doesn’t require a warning first. I’d take a look at that — but I’d also plead your case with your boss and HR. Be contrite, say you realize it was poor judgment, and that you’ll be on your best behavior in the future.

5. Ridiculous interview instructions

I just got offered an interview for a program manager job in a county-run library. My excitement was slightly tempered by the very brusque email (e.g., “If you are unable to keep this appointment, please notify our office at (phone #) immediately. It is unlikely that we will be able to re-schedule your appointment.”) which also included an attachment called “Interview Guidelines.” In it, they specify that my application materials will not be taken into consideration during the interview. They also instruct candidates not to take notes during the interview.

I’m a bit flummoxed. I’ve worked in government jobs before, and don’t recall anything like this. I can’t see any benefit from their perspective. And I can’t imagine being able to give enough information in a 25 minute interview to completely outline my work history, education, accomplishments, etc. Can you shed any light on this technique, and help me prepare?

Terrible interviewers, probably being directed by a terrible, terrible HR department suffering from a terrible, terrible misunderstanding of what it means to treat job candidates fairly. Brace yourself for major bureaucracy if you take a job there.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. How can my temp job hire me on without my temp agency finding out and charging them?

I’m currently working a temp gig and things have been going really great. I like my boss, my boss likes me (at least I hope). It’s a small, intimate environment that up until this point has only demanded that I come in less than a few times a week. My boss trying to bring me in permanently and negotiate a deal with the agency that found me. See, I was placed through a temp agency that is charging 35 percent and they want something like 10 figures if I’m placed permanently. Naturally, this’ll be coming out of my pay, so they had asked the agency for a discount but couldn’t seem to agree on a timeline that was workable that could lower the rates. After a while, the agency flat out refused to lower the rates they were charging in addition to mine, so now I’m pretending to quit so my boss can pay me directly and bring me on permanently.

I’ve never really done this before. What would happen if the agency found out? Could they sue my boss? Naturally, that would be an awful scenario and it’s the last thing anyone wants. I’m trying to cover my tracks but these guys have my Social Security information.

It depends on what their contract with your boss says; that’s what would govern it. They presumably have a contract that specifies that your employer would owe them a certain amount, and they could indeed go to to court to collect on that.

But the bigger point: What you and your boss are thinking of doing is pretty crappy. Your boss signed a contract with your agency agreeing to specific terms, and now she’s deliberately trying to violate that contract. Your agency provides a service that they need to charge for in order to stay in business, and your boss agreed to their terms when she decided to work with them. Do you really want to be someone who defrauds other people out of the fees they charge, fees that were fully disclosed in advance? And do you want to work for someone who operates that way?

2. How do I know if I did well in an interview?

How would one know if he/she does well in an interview?

Do you feel like you explained why you’d excel at the job in a convincing way? Do you feel like you had a reasonably good rapport with the interviewer, and they seemed engaged in the conversation with you? Those are both good signs. And the absence of either of those isn’t a good sign. That said, people get hired all the time when they didn’t think these things were true — and these things can be true and you still won’t get an offer, because someone else was a better fit. There’s really no way to know for sure, and you can drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.

A better approach is to go into interviews with the aim of clearly explaining what you’ve achieved in the past, how you operate, and what you’d bring to the job, while simultaneously exploring whether or not you and the job and workplace are the right match … because that’s a question for you too, not just for the employer.

3. My boss won’t let us take time off while our coworker is on maternity leave

I am part of a three-person team, directly overseen by one director. One of my colleagues (not the director) is going out on maternity leave in August. My director has instructed my other coworker and I to not take any time off while she is out. He said time off is at his discretion and his decision is that we’ll be too short-staffed for either of us to take time off. (Let’s overlook the fact that he will be taking a week off right at the beginning of her maternity leave – I digress!)

Is this legal? I do understand that time off is at a manager’s discretion, but limiting our time off for three months to coincide with someone’s maternity leave seems fishy. One note: our days aren’t broken out into vacation/sick/etc. You take a day or a week as requested and they all fall into the same bucket.

Yeah, it’s legal. But I’d seek clarification from him: Often when managers say this in this context, they mean they don’t want you taking long vacations during periods like this — but a day here and there is fine, and if you’re sick or have some other emergency, it’s fine. It’s highly likely that that’s what he means — ask.

4. Employer wants to see the reference letter I wrote for a coworker

I have a colleague whose teaching contract was not renewed, so they are seeking work elsewhere. They asked me to be a reference, and I happily obliged with an honest and supportive letter. I have no supervisory role and made this reference as a friend, not as a representative of my school or district. Much to my surprise, I was contacted by my principal and asked for a copy of the recommendation. Obviously, by not renewing my colleague’s contract, the administration hasn’t exactly been supportive. I don’t know why they want it, or what good could come of them having it. Do they have any grounds to request this? I’m not inclined to acquiesce to their request. Any thoughts on how to politely decline such a request? Or do you think I should be turning it over?

That wasn’t really a personal reference, even if you intended it that way; it was a professional one, because you’re a current employee of your coworker’s most recent employer. I can guarantee you that whoever you were giving a reference to took it as a professional reference, not a “personal reference” (which is something that most employers don’t want or care about). So yeah, your employer can absolutely take an interest in what you said; you were representing them, whether you intended to be or not.

That said, you could could certainly explain that you didn’t keep a copy of the letter you wrote and ask if they have concerns about you having provided it.

5. I’ve been promised a promotion for more than a year

I have been working for a well-known department store for 4 years. I started out as a box truck driver 6 hours a week and have moved my way to the sales floor, averaging 35 hours a week, overseeing a small team but without the supervisor title.

I have been awarded employee of the month in several departments. On several different occasions, I have been approached by several supervisors who encourage me to apply for open supervisor positions. But I have been overlooked twice for two other employees who no longer work there and who had a suspect work ethic along with attendance and reliability issues. I am constantly revered for my work ethic and my ability to get things done, yet when I apply for any supervisor position it goes nowhere and I’m given no feedback as to what I might be doing wrong. In fact, I am constantly told I’m going to be prepped for these positions.

Over a year has passed now and still I’m being prepped and complimented. I believe its the “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it” theory that has kept me from advancing. What is there left to do?

Ask for a specific timeline for advancing. Say something like this: “As you know, I’m very interested in moving into a supervisor role. I think my work doing X and Y demonstrates that I’ll excel at it. I’ve been told previously that I’m being prepped for this job, but it’s been over a year since I was first told that. I’d like to get a better idea of what the likely timeline is for being ready to move into the next open supervisor role.” You should also ask if there are specific things you need to work on to make that happen. If you can’t get a direct answer, that’s a sign that you might need to go somewhere else to move up — but I’d try asking directly first.