update: how can I tell my coworkers their Halloween costumes are racist?

Remember the letter-writer wondering about how to talk to coworkers who were planning Halloween costumes that included blackface and other racist tropes? (You probably do, because it was the most commented-on post of last year.) Here’s her update.

I read through everyone’s advice and decided to speak to the office manager about my concerns and suggest that perhaps she make a small announcement regarding costumes, since it seemed that many people were just unaware of what is considered inappropriate. She actually shared with me that they were already considering asking people not to come to work in costume because of a few issues with very revealing costumes the previous year. She was glad that I felt comfortable enough to share my concerns with her and said she would look into it.

The firm actually ended up banning costumes in the office, instead of making a long list of announcements regarding what is and what isn’t allowed. This also extended to a cancellation of the office Halloween party. They did encourage people to be festive if they wanted to (themed earrings, make-up, clothes, etc.) So a few people did cat makeup or doll makeup, wore festive ties/pumpkin sweaters, etc. but were dressed in business or business casual attire.

A few of us had a happy hour after work in lieu of the party, and all was well! I was really relieved that no one was really upset about the change and that I wasn’t the only one with costume concerns.

I want to thank all of your readers for their input! It was certainly an interesting discussion and I was very grateful for the guidance.

I quit my job 2 months ago, and my employer wants to retroactively make it a firing

A reader writes:

I put in a resignation letter that was accepted in February. I gave a 30-day notice to the company. I received a phone call last week (April), stating that my resignation had been changed to a termination. The company is saying that they found evidence of non-compliance against me at some point. I just want to know if it is legal to change my status of resignation a month and a half after I stopped working for the company.

What? That’s crazy.

They can’t fire you two months after the fact. That would be like telling your boyfriend two months after he broke up with you that you’ve come to realize that he was deeply flawed and so in fact you broke up with him.

It doesn’t matter what they found out after the fact. It doesn’t change the reality, which is that you resigned. It’s preposterous to pretend otherwise.

The only way this makes sense is if you were still working there and they decided to fire you, thus having you end your work now rather than working out your notice period. But it sounds like you’ve already left, so that’s not the case.

Maybe what they intended to communicate to you was simply that you’re ineligible for rehire … although if that were the case, they could just say that. And they certainly wouldn’t need to contact you out the blue to announce it to you. Going back to the boyfriend analogy, it would be like reaching out to your ex to preemptively announce that you don’t want him back.

As for the legal side of things, they can call your departure whatever they like in their internal records, but they can’t lie about you or the situation to others. That means that they can’t tell future reference-checkers or your coworker that you were fired. If they do, you could potentially have a defamation suit, if you could prove damages — but even if you couldn’t prove damages, a sternly worded letter from a lawyer would likely put a stop to it.

However, they could legitimately tell people that you’re ineligible for rehire and they could tell them whatever their reasons are for that, as long as those reasons are truthful.

But they can’t rewrite history and claim they fired you when they didn’t, and they are loons for thinking otherwise.

the questions I get asked the most

As a workplace advice columnist, I field all sorts of questions from readers – everything from how to survive the annoyingly loud coworker in the next cubicle to how to get along with a crazy boss. While some questions are truly one of a kind (this one  and this one come to mind), there are other questions that come up over and over again – the more typical situations that most of us will run into at some point in our careers.

As my inaugural column for AOL Jobs, I thought we’d take a look the questions that I get asked the most often. Can you guess what they are?

You can read the column here.

I caught my employee in a lie, sending an e-card after an interview, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I caught my employee in a lie

I recently caught my employee lying to me about sending a FedEx shipment that she didn’t really send. I had a feeling she was lying but didn’t want to say anything in case I was wrong, so I asked her all the questions I would need to know in order to contact FedEx and track the shipment. It turns out I was right and she flat out lied. She didn’t drop the package off and only did so about an hour after I had asked her about it. It wasn’t just a yes/no answer; there was a whole story to FedEx losing the package and just now locating it, etc. She just returned from taking a few days off, so this is the first time I’m seeing her since then. She is avoiding me like the plague. She also refused to answer any of my text messages after I called her out on lying to me about it – so we actually haven’t truly addressed 1) her failure to send the package and 2) lying about it. (To clarify, she was on vacation when we discovered the package had not been delivered, so all of my communication with her was over text messaging).

Do I write her up? It turned out that the package wasn’t all that “urgent” and the parent company had no problem with receiving it four days late. Do I just ignore it for now? She knows she got caught; I’m sure she feels really stupid. Does bringing it up again just stir the pot? Does not bringing it up send the wrong message?

Holy crap, you must address it. It doesn’t matter that the package wasn’t urgent; the issue is that she lied to avoid having a mistake caught, and if she’s willing to lie about this, how can you trust her about other things?

Lying is a big deal. A huge deal. It’s about integrity, which isn’t something you can compromise on. Plus, in my experience, if someone is doing this, it’s the tip of the iceberg and she’s probably a bad fit in myriad ways. So I’d (a) seriously consider firing her over this and (b) make sure you’ve taken a rigorous look at her entire performance lately. I’d be shocked if it turns out she’s really someone you should be keeping on staff. But if you want to give her another chance, you still need to sit her down and have a very serious conversation — along the lines of “this is an incredibly serious thing, it has jeopardized your job here, and I need to know that you’re committed to operating with full transparency and integrity from this point forward.” And watch her closely from here on out — because again, I’d really be surprised if this is the only issue.

(As a side note: Don’t use texting for talking about this stuff, even if someone is out of the office. It’s just not the right forum for this kind of thing.)

Read an update to this letter here.

2. Using an e-card as an interview thank-you

I have an interview coming up and wondered if it is acceptable to send an electronic card (something like Paperless Post) rather than a traditional paper card, to thank them for the interview?

Nooooo, do not do that. It’s totally fine to send a thank-you note via email (i.e., it doesn’t have to be a “card”), but using an electronic greeting card would seem odd and less than professional.

3. Manager is sending late-night texts

My wife is receiving text messages from her boss regarding work at very odd hours, like midnight or 4 in the morning. Is this okay? Also, if not, how do we tackle this issue?

No, it’s not okay, not unless your wife is in a job that requires being on-call at those hours. Your wife should tell her boss that the late-night texts are waking her up, ask her to email instead, and explain that she’ll respond once she’s back at work (or once she’s awake, if her job requires her to respond outside of regular work hours).

4. How to contact a company with no mention of jobs on its website

What’s the best way to reach out to a potential employer when the company’s website gives its address, phone number, and email, but has no Careers/Employment section and makes no mention of jobs? I have three companies I’d like to reach out to to see if there might be an opportunity for me, but I don’t want to make a nuisance of myself in so-doing.

LinkedIn is your friend here. See if you can find the person in charge of the area of the company you’d like to work in, and reach out to them directly.

Alternately, you can try sending your inquiry to the general company address.

5. Can a company wait months to pay out severance?

A friend of mine was recently let go in a round of layoffs the beginning of April from a large corporation. They have promised the employees severance pay, but are unclear on when that will be provided. They have stated that severance may not be paid out until June, leaving former employees without a paycheck for two months. Is this legal?

Yes. No law requires severance payments at all, so whether and when to provide them is up to the company. (There are some limited exceptions to this, such as if your friend had a contract that required severance payments and required them on a particular time table.)

I pulled a prank on a coworker — and it ended badly

A reader writes:

I’m in a bit of a sticky situation. I played a prank on an employee — locked him on the balcony during office hours. It was a few minutes before a company function with clients at the office. He got out a few minutes later, grabbed me by my arm hard, and yanked me away from a conversation with a coworker in a room of clients. He said that if I ever did something like that to him again, he would hurt me (but in colourful language) and it was in a hushed tone so that no one would overhear. But he was angry.

I had thought he’d just laugh at it and maybe get me back with a different prank. But he was livid and threatened me with physical violence.

He sits behind me and sometimes we joke around verbally. I don’t know him that well because he’s a newer employee (he’s been here for a little over a year), but I pulled the prank because another coworker (who he’s known for many years) was laughing along with me. So I figured he’d just laugh it off. But she hadn’t realized that I locked the door and later mentioned that she would have told me not to lock the door.

I don’t want to diminish the error I made – I recognize it. But I really don’t know what to do or how to interpret it and I don’t want to bring it to my manager. If I bring it to my manager, I’m afraid that I will look like a problem-maker, a politics-playing person, or a revenge employee (tattle-tale) because I did play the prank and in retrospect, I shouldn’t have done it. But at the same time, his reaction was unexpected and I don’t know how to gauge whether it was said on the spur of the moment emotional anger or out of seriousness. He hasn’t brought up the issue so far. What should I do?

Apologize.

He really overreacted, but you probably crossed a bit of a line. At least with him — part of the trickiness of pranks at the office is that you really, really need to know your target and whether they’re likely to find something funny. Some people would find this funny — and others would not react at all well to being locked out on a balcony just minutes before a function with clients were to start. (And in fairness to him, for all you know, maybe he’s been reprimanded before about not being sufficiently prepared for client functions, and you ate into the time he’d set aside to prepare. Or not. But who knows.)

In any case, the right move here is to apologize to him, sincerely. Go talk to him and tell him that you’re genuinely sorry for it, that you intended for him to find it funny but understand that he didn’t, and that you take responsibility for that. Tell him it won’t happen again. And don’t say anything like “I’m sorry it upset you” — that’s a qualified apology, when what’s really called for is “I’m sorry that I did it.”

If you sound sincere and he’s reasonable, that should smooth it over. Of course, he might not be reasonable, but you can’t control his reaction — you can only control your part of it, but apologizing is the right thing to do.

And yes, he shouldn’t have grabbed you or threatened you with physical violence. That escalated things, and it’s inappropriate for the workplace. But because you made the initial error here, make the first move to rectify the situation.

Read an update to this letter here.

talk about your job / ask about other people’s jobs

Reddit has a feature called “Ask Me Anything” (AMAs), where people make themselves available to answer any questions people want to throw at them. Bill Gates, Louis C.K., Barack Obama, and loads of other celebrities have done them (I recommend Bill Murray‘s), as have tons of regular people who identify something interesting about themselves that people might want to ask about (for example: a  woman who was attacked by a bear, a tattoo artist, and so forth).

We’re going to steal the idea, because we have tons of people with interesting jobs here that others might like to ask about.

So, the rules:

  • Start a new thread. Put your job title in the “user name” field so that it’ll show up as a label for your post and make it easier to skim.
  • Include a short blurb about the work you do.
  • When you see other jobs that interest you, reply in that thread with your questions.
  • When people leave questions in your thread for you, answer them.

Also, if you have a regular user name, it’s fine to include that too if you want. For example: “Snake wrangler (Myron)” or whatever.

banning email after-hours, rescinded job offers, and other things to know this week

Over at Intuit QuickBase’s Fast Track blog today, I take a look at several big work-related stories in the news right now: a move by some French and German employers to ban email after work hours, the truth about that rescinded job offer that’s been getting so much buzz, and more. You can read it here.

my coworker is getting credit for my work, impossible billable hours requirements, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss’s boss keeps crediting my coworker for work that I’m doing

We have been doing a big internal communications project at work, and rather than hire someone to manage it, my boss and his supervisor decided to give me the job to do. It’s been a big undertaking and we’ve been successful at it. I manage the content on the internal project – writing it, editing it, and scheduling it, as well as requesting graphics for posts. I’m happy it has gone so well and that our executives have begun to see its value.

However, my boss’s manager gives credit to someone in my department who hasn’t contributed at all to the project but is, for some reason, lumped into it when she congratulates us on a job well done. She’s done this not just once, but repeatedly, including today during an introduction with a new employee. She told her I “did some things with the internal project,” when I’m doing the majority of the work.

The person she’s included in praising hasn’t spoken up and said she’s not part of the project, so our boss’s manager thinks she’s involved. I brought it up to my boss that this person isn’t part of it, but he doesn’t seem to see the big deal that this person is included when they don’t contribute. Is there any way I can get her to recognize the success has been because I’m doing the work and not someone else? Or am I overreacting?

It’s annoying that your boss won’t just correct the record. But since he won’t, the next time his manager makes a remark like this, you could say, “Actually, I’m running all our work on ___. Jane actually hasn’t been involved; she’s focusing on XYZ.” The keys here are that you need to sound casual and cheerful, and it’ll help if you add on that last part about what your coworker has been doing, so it sounds less like a put-down.

Alternately, if the dynamics in your office (and with your own boss) allow it, you could casually swing by the manager’s office one day and say something like, “Lucinda, I wanted to correct something about the ___ project — I noticed you’ve mentioned a couple of times that Jane is running that, but it’s actually me! Not a big deal, but I wanted to let you know!” (That said, in some offices this would solve the problem easily while in others it would be high treason against your boss, who told you it’s not a big deal, so you need to know your office.)

2. Letting employees include personal cell numbers in company communications

If we allow employees (who choose to do so) to include their personal cell phone numbers in official company communication, does that pose any threat to the business? This is in addition of any official company numbers.

Well, you’ll have the problem that their personal cell numbers are out there with people after they’re no longer working with you — and you probably won’t have much/any control over how they handle those calls at that point. I’m not a fan of that, but more and more people are doing what you describe.

3. Job searching and multiple pre-planned trips

I want to start looking for a new job soon – in both the public and private sector. I’m a bit spoiled in terms of leave coming from my current employer, and have about 3-4 trips currently scheduled for the next year, including a 2-week honeymoon in November. Should I hold off applying for jobs until after the honeymoon, after which I don’t currently have any trips planned? And if I were to apply now, when is the best time to discuss these plans? I think you usually say after you have an offer; is that correct?

No reason to hold off on applying — worst case scenario if you start applying now if that a job will turn out not to work well with your plans and you’ll decide at that point how to handle it. As for when to bring up your plan, wait until you have an offer (but discuss it before you accept that offer). At that point, they’ve already decided that they want to hire you and it will often be easier to negotiate the time off that you want. (It’s also worth noting that the more senior you are, the easier it is to negotiate this stuff. I might balk at four trips for a junior level person, depending on their length, but wouldn’t for a senior person, assuming the other three are shorter than the honeymoon.)

4. Silly raise policies

In my new hire training, I was led to believe that 10%+ raises were entirely possible for top-performers — “We’re a pay-for-performance company.”

Recently (review time), my boss said, “There’s no way we could give you a 10% raise. HR never approves raises over 5%. But if you worked somewhere else for a year, then came back, we could give you 25%+.”

Who creates a policy that says “No raises over 5% allowed, but we can rehire someone at any increase in salary”?

Idiots.

5. How can I meet these billable hour requirements?

I work for a very large international company. They provide liberal PTO. In order to receive a good rating on work, we must perform at a billable level (in my case, it is 90 percent – I must bill my client for my work to a level of 90% of the 40-hour work week).

If I take the 11 holidays they offer each year and the vacation time I accrue each year, there is no way I can meet the utilization 90% level. My client doesn’t work on the 11 holidays, so these count against my utilization also. My choice appears to be never take vacation and try not to take off on holidays – heaven help me if I am sick. PTO doesn’t appear to be paid at all if you have to make up every hour you miss, regardless of the reason you missed it. Is this legal / ethical?

It’s legal. Companies can be as unreasonable as they want. However, are you sure that they’re not calculating your your billable time based on the time that you actually work, excluding holidays and PTO? I’d seek clarification on that part. But if that’s not the case, then it means that they expect you to work more than 40 hours a week (which is certainly common in many professional jobs with billable hours).

my friend wrote a novel at work – should I tell our employer?

A reader writes:

I have a friend and coworker who is a gifted writer. She finished her first novel earlier this year and a publisher has offered her an advance that will let her quit our boring job and write full-time, which has always been her dream. I’m happy for her but morally uneasy knowing that at least 90% of the book was written while she was on the clock. She has small children and a home business and has admitted she doesn’t have any other time to write. I would hate to destroy her dream but it also feels wrong that our company may be being cheated out of a financial interest in what could turn into a big thing. Should I inform our supervisor or not?

No. U.S. copyright law does include a “work made for hire” provision, which says that the employer is the author and owner of work prepared by an employee within the scope of her employment — but a novel is presumably significantly outside the scope of her employment.

Some companies do have employees sign contracts that state that they’ll own any work that was produced while the employee was working for them (in some cases, even if that work was produced at home, outside of work hours). And if your coworker has such a contract, she’ll need to deal with that reality — but even then, it’s typical for a company to only exercise that right if the work developed is related to their business — which, again, doesn’t sound like the situation here.

But even if none of that were the case, the whole situation would be between her and the company; there’s no reason for you to insert yourself in the middle of it.

Your employer is responsible for holding your coworker accountable for whatever work they want her to do while she’s on the job. So either she was able to get all her work done to their satisfaction and work on the book in the time that remained, or they dropped the ball on managing her in a massive way.

And for what it’s worth, if you’re concerned about how your friend spent her time at work, you should be concerned about that regardless of whether her book was getting published. The publication isn’t really the issue here — her behavior on the job is, and you should have the same concern if she had spent that time playing on Facebook and watching videos of baby monkeys. But unless she went out of her way to actively deceive your employer about how she was spending her time, this is the kind of thing that should be spotted by competent management — or possibly was fine with them if she was getting her work done.

7 beliefs about your job search that are all wrong

If you’re like most job seekers, you approach their job search with a set of beliefs about how the hiring process works, what responses from employers are good signs, and what responses are bad signs. But in many cases, those beliefs are flat-out wrong, and some of them can hinder your search.

Here are seven of the most common things that job seekers often get wrong about their searches.

1. “I’m qualified for this job, so I should definitely get an interview.” If you see a job description that looks like it could have been written with you in mind, it’s easy to fall into this way of thinking – you have everything they’re looking for, after all, so why wouldn’t you get a call to interview? But employers often have numerous perfectly qualified candidates, and they can’t interview all of them – which means that plenty of well-qualified people will end up getting rejected without even an interview.

2. “The interview went well, so I’m likely to get a job offer.” A good interview doesn’t equate to a job offer. Other candidates might have interviewed as well as your or better. Or the job requirements might end up getting tweaked post-interview, and now you’re now longer as qualified as someone else. Or the employer might have an internal candidate they prefer, or decide to hire the CEO’s nephew, or put the position on hold altogether. There’s just no way to know from the outside, so it’s dangerous to let a good interview convince you that it’s in the bag.

3. “They said I’d hear back soon, so I expect to hear from them in about a week.” Employers and job candidates tend to be in different time zones when it comes to how quickly hiring moves. Hiring managers are often juggling their hiring work on top of all their regular work, and it can become their lowest priority – whereas for candidates it’s often the top thing on their minds. The best thing to do? Whenever an employer gives you an anticipated timeline, assume it will be at least double and possibly triple that.

4. “I haven’t heard back yet, so I probably didn’t get the job.” Maybe – but unless months have gone by, there’s no reason to assume that yet. As in #3 above, hiring usually takes longer than people assume it will. But much worse than that is…

5. “This job is a sure thing, so I’m not going to keep searching.” Slowing down your search or stopping it altogether because you think you’re likely to get a job offer is one of the worst mistakes you can make as a candidate. Some people even turn down interviews with other companies because they’re so sure an offer is forthcoming – and are left kicking themselves when the offer never materializes.

6. “I need to find a creative way to stand out to employers.” Job seekers sometimes resort to gimmicks to stand out, like using a fancy resume design, sending gifts to an interviewer, or having their resume delivered by overnight mail. But gimmicks don’t make up for a lack of qualifications and will turn off many hiring managers. The way to stand out to a good manager is simple: Write a great cover letter and create a resume that demonstrates a track record of success in the area the employer is hiring for.

7. “My graduate degree should make me a more desirable candidate.” Grad school will make you more marketable if you’re in a field that requires or rewards it – but if you’re in one of the many fields that don’t, employers may find it irrelevant. In fact, it can even more you lesscompetitive if you apply for jobs that have nothing to do with your graduate degree, since some employers will think you don’t really want jobs outside your field.

I originally published this at U.S. News & World Report.