Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Is it presumptuous to ask for an office?

I manage 5 people. Currently, there are four other managers (only 2 actually have reports like me) and we all sit among everyone else in cubes. My boss has talked with me before about her desire to have people see me as someone with more authority — specifically someone who can be her right hand. I also find it difficult to get things done because I’m constantly distracted by people asking me questions and I always have to go to conference rooms anytime I need to gave a conversation with someone that others shouldn’t hear. I’ve been in this position for almost three years and would at least like to know if this is ever going to be a possibility. But I don’t want my boss to view my request as presumptuous.

It’s not presumptuous to ask for something to help you do your job better, and this qualifies. Explain that you have a need for privacy when having conversations others shouldn’t hear, like talking about performance issues, giving developmental feedback, or anything else that might be sensitive (like a conversation about accommodating a medical issue), and ask if it would be possible to have a more private space, ideally an office. If it’s not possible, then so be it, but it’s entirely reasonable to ask (and in general, it’s crazy to try to manage five people out in the open like that).

2. When a creepy candidate asks for feedback after being rejected

I’m a hiring manger at a small firm with no HR department. We reject candidates for a variety of reasons. Often it’s just a matter of them being not a great fit. Other times, it’s that they gave one or more of the interviewers the creeps. Totally not tangible and not even easy to explain, but if the decision isn’t unanimous, we don’t proceed. Invariably the “creepy” candidate are the ones who want feedback. I know enough to know that “you creep people out” isn’t a professional reply, so how do I respond?

This situation is tailor-made for a bland response like, “We had a number of well-qualified candidates, and ultimately selected a candidate whose experience was the best match with our needs.”

People aren’t entitled to feedback, and if you’d rather not have an awkward conversation, you’re under no obligation to provide a more specific answer.

Read an update to this letter here.

3. Vendor wanted to videotape his training presentation at our office

We have a weird issue at my work and want to know if this is something common! We had a vendor come to do some introductory training for our small company (he is American, ours is a Canadian company, if it matters). He set up a camcorder to videotape his own day-long presentation, and when my boss asked why he was taping it, the vendor first got flustered and offended, and then said it was because “my company wants to make sure I really did do the training for you guys.” The subject was quickly dropped.

To us, that sounds very unusual–like his company doesn’t trust him. It’s not like ours is an exotic destination (trust me, nobody wants to visit this part of Ontario in March) that would make a good vacation. He has been doing this kind of training for several years. The only way I could see it making sense would be if they were afraid he’d disclose trade secrets–but even then, there’s no point in even telling us that kind of knowledge. Is this common practice for companies–to tape travel presentations to make sure they “actually happened?” Who would watch this? Why would they want to?

I’d think it would be more likely to be a quality control issue — that they want to see how his trainings are going, rather than that they want proof that it happened at all, particularly since (a) there are easier ways to get proof, like calling to ask about how satisfied you were afterwards, and (b) not trusting your own staff member to that extent is a sign of a much bigger problem. But it’s bizarre either way. And I’d be really annoyed if a vendor assumed he could videotape me or my staff without asking about it beforehand.

4. Can I tell an employer to delete the presentation file I used at my interview?

Following an interview, who retains copyright of a PowerPoint presentation — the employer or the candidate who prepared the file? When a candidate has submitted a presentation via email prior to the interview as requested, can the company be told to delete the file from their system or do they now have “ownership”? I just wondered as it’s not like a PDF file. The contents of the PP presentation could be copied and potentially used by others.

You don’t work for them, so you’d retain copyright. However, emailing them to tell them to delete the file is going to come across really oddly — it’ll make you look both paranoid and naive (naive because unless you did an extraordinary amount of work for this PowerPoint, it’s highly unlikely they’d want to steal it).

5. Should I mention my dad in a cover letter?

My dad knows I’m looking for a new position and he sometimes sends me job postings he receives through his network if he thinks I’ll like them. He sent me one yesterday that I love and I’m definitely going to apply. He said in his email to let him know if I applied, because he knows the organization well and could maybe vouch for me.

I was wondering now: do I mention I saw their job posting because my dad sent it to me? He is very well known and respected in the field he works in (and I’m applying for), so much that when I tell people working in the same field that he’s my dad, they’re always a bit in awe. But on the other hand, it feels a bit cheeky. I really don’t need my dad in this, I’m very well qualified for the job and could probably get an interview based on my resumé alone (I’m exactly what they describe they want/need in the posting). Although maybe it wouldn’t hurt? I really don’t know.

I definitely wouldn’t mention that your dad is the one who sent you the posting. In this context, it will sound like name-dropping. If anything, you could have him mention to his contacts there that you applied, which it sounds like will increase your chances of getting an interview. However, the flip side of that is that then you’ll be forever tagged as “Bob’s daughter” and people will possibly wonder whether that’s the reason you were hired (if you end up getting hired). So you just have to weigh all that and decide what makes the most sense to you.

(By the way, while I obviously don’t know anything about your qualifications, in general it’s good to be wary about assuming you’ll definitely get an interview, no matter how qualified you are. Companies pass over well-qualified candidates all the time, simply because they have far more than they can interview. So that’s worth factoring into your calculations too.)

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Employer wants to know how much my other offers are

My question is whether my wife, who is graduating with a masters in nursing, should disclose details on the offers she has received to the company she really wants to work for? She interviewed and received offers at two companies. She now has an upcoming meeting with a third company, where the hiring manager indicated that they will give her an offer. The hiring manager knows that she’s received offers from the other two companies, and asked her if she could share what the two other companies were offering, so that “they would know whether they are in the same ballpark.” My wife likes this third company the best, so she doesn’t want to alienate them by refusing to disclose the other two offers.

“I feel uncomfortable sharing other company’s specific offers, but I’m looking for a range of around $X.” After all, this isn’t an auction where the highest bidder gets her (or if it is, she at least shouldn’t imply that).

2. Why does my recruiter from two years ago want to talk with me about my new job?

This week was my last week at a job, and I’m starting a new job on Monday (yay!). Today, I decided to update Facebook and LinkedIn with the new information and not an hour later, I got an email from a recruiter I worked with to get my Old Job. It was a brief email saying he saw the update on LinkedIn, doesn’t know about the company, and would like to chat with me on the phone.

The email seems very weird. I was at Old Job for a year and 8 months, so I doubt any commission he received from placing me was jeopardized. I actually enjoyed working with the recruiter the last time around, but the new gig sort of fell into my lap (no outside recruiters involved). I’m finding this message pretty bizarre and wondering what his motivations might be. Do I respond to the email or schedule a call out of courtesy? Do I ignore it?

Yeah, I don’t think this is about any kind of commission. It’s more likely about him wanting to keep his network current. He saw your update and he wants to know what you’re doing now, to update his records and keep in touch with you. Depending on your job, he might also want to pitch you using his services for your new company or pick your brain about candidates for roles he’s working to fill. No reason not to talk to him, especially if you might want to work with him in the future.

3. My boss keeps asking to borrow money and doesn’t pay it back

I lent $220 to my manager last December. She promised to pay me on the second week of January, but has not mentioned anything about it til now. How can I ask for the money in a polite and professional way so as not to ruin our working relationship? Also, please give me more excuses not to lend her money because in these three months, she has tried to borrow five times again. I lent her some the fifth time and again she has not paid on the agreed date. The amount this time is $45.

To give you a brief background, I live in the Philippines. My manager is the best boss. That is why I have not asked her to return the money these three months because I am afraid our relationship will turn sour. I also like my job a lot. I am also an introvert who has difficulty in expressing my intentions verbally. Another problem is I can’t help but feel some disrespect for her because she broke her promise. Well, I have noticed that she easily breaks her other promises to me too. Hope that you can help me because I am running out of excuses to not lend her money. I am afraid that I have to resign to avoid lending more money.

To get back the money you’ve already lent: “Jane, you were going to pay me back in January. Can you give me that money back today?” If she says she doesn’t have it, say, “I do need it now, so when do you think you’ll be able to repay it?” (Keep in mind though that you may or may not get that money back. Generally with lending money, it’s smart to only lend an amount that you’d be comfortable not seeing again, because that sometimes happens with personal loans.)

To refuse further requests: “I’m sorry, but I can’t lend you any additional money.” Or you might be more comfortable with, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any money I can lend.” And you definitely should start refusing — lending money to your boss is a bad dynamic to get into.

4. I didn’t get a bonus and I think it’s because I took FMLA leave

I found out that I got “Inconsistently met expectations” when I busted my butt all year for my company. I was supposed to get about a $10,000 bonus based on company funding and got zero. I think it is because I took FMLA. The negatives on the review are so trivial and being in a client facing role, not a single client complained about me. In fact, several took the time to write positives and talk to my boss about me in a positive way. What recourse do I have? Should I talk to HR?

I am so steamed that I am about ready to blow. We had many extra duties this year and I did them all.

Yes, if you think that you were penalized for using FMLA, you should talk to HR, since they’re going to be much more versed in the legalities here than your manager probably is. (And yes, penalizing you for taking FMLA violates the law.)

5. I want to reach out to a professor who offered to mentor me two years ago

A couple of years ago (2012), I took a summer course for my graduate program. At the end of the course, the professor approached me and mentioned that she would like to be my mentor. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I didn’t keep in touch with her and now I really regret it. She has a lot of knowledge on a unique field, and I’m finding myself with a lot of questions about career development in this arena that I think she would be able to answer.

It may or may not be important to note, I am not hoping that she will get me a job, and that would not be the subject of any conversation I would have with her. However, I know it could seem like I blew her off earlier, when really I just didn’t understand networking/mentors and the opportunity she was giving me. At several points since then, I’ve thought about getting in touch, but it always seemed like too much time had passed. Is there any salvaging this? If so, how should I make that first contact?

You have nothing to lose by trying. Send her an email letting her know what you got out of her course, what you’ve been doing since then (ideally talking about how her course helped you with that, if you can), how much you appreciated the offer she made you to mentor you, and how much you’ve regretted not following up with her about it. (You could potentially say that you weren’t sure how to follow up at the time.) Say that you’d love to get back in touch now, and ask if you can buy her coffee to reconnect.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker won’t stop interrupting me while I train her

I work in an in-house legal department and manage a billing system that is used by the attorneys and their admins. I worked with this system in a previous job and was hired because I am an expert. The training for the system users has gone well with the exception of one admin in a different office. We sometimes talk on the telephone and sometimes use the video conferencing equipment. She asks a question and then interrupts me as soon as I start to answer it. She doesn’t listen; she gets defensive. I’m trying to be very careful to not blame her for mistakes but instead use the mistakes as learning opportunities for the future. Instead of listening to the answer to her questions, she starts to tell me why what she did wasn’t wrong or that it wasn’t her fault or that she had been instructed to do it that way.

I have been very careful to not snap at her, but I’m sure she can hear the annoyance in my voice once I have tried to explain something for the fourth time because she won’t stop interrupting me. I’m going to guess she thinks I am annoyed that she hasn’t mastered the system, but I’m annoyed because she is being so rude.

How can I stop her from interrupting me without sounding like I’m her mother scolding a toddler? It’s not my job to teach her manners, but at the same time, she is being rude and wasting my time.

From least direct to most direct, so you have some options, depending on your comfort level: “Oh, just give me a minute to finish what I was saying.” “Please let me finish.” “I’ve noticed you ask me a question but cut me off before I can answer.” “I don’t know if you realize that you often talk over me. Please let me finish what I’m saying.” You can try the softest of these and then escalate as needed, or you can start right with the most direct.

That’s for when it happens in the moment. You might also consider a bigger picture conversation with her that goes something like this: “I’ve noticed a pattern now that you talk over me when I’m explaining the system to you. This is preventing me from relaying information you need to learn. I need you to stop interrupting me when we’re talking. Will you do that?” If she gets defensive and argues with you, repeat, “I need you to stop interrupting me when we’re talking. Will you do that?” And if that doesn’t solve the problem, then you really need to mention this to her manager, who should know this is happening.

While you’re right that it’s not your job to teach her manners, it’s also not your job to coddle her and prevent her from feeling bad when she’s called on chronic rude behavior.

2. A contact where I’m applying for a job suggested I “pop by for a visit”

I recently applied for a job that I am extremely interested in. I think I have a pretty good shot at landing the position, but I do understand that I am in no way entitled to an interview. The job I have now puts me in regular contact with clients who are employees of this potential employer. One of these employees vaguely suggested I “pop by for a visit.” I have a feeling that stopping by for an unscheduled visit would be bad form and, ultimately hurt my chances of getting hired, but I am also very eager to work for this company. I’m going to follow up with the client and try to get something more concrete, but I was wondering what your thoughts are on this situation.

Well, don’t pop by for a visit with the intention of asking to see the hiring manager. But if this person is suggesting that you drop in to see her, at which time she’d find a way to introduce you to the hiring manager, that’s not a terrible idea, as long as she’s willing to play it that way — meaning that she’d manage the visit and make the introduction happen. I’d get clarification about exactly what she has in mind. (And if it turns out that she’s just advising you to drop in and ask for the hiring manager without an appointment, don’t do that.)

3. Will going by my middle name confuse background checkers?

I go by my middle name in all aspects of my life, and always have. However, all of my legal records (and official employee records) are always under my first name. On the header of my resume, I typically just have first, middle, and last. But I am starting to wonder if that could be confusing or even pretentious? However, I am worried that if I don’t include my full name, that any sorts of background checks or employment verification would NOT be found under my middle name and that would be a mess. Advice to include my full name while making it clear that I use my middle name?

I’d list it as first initial, middle name, last name. For instance: X. Percival Montblanc. And when you’re at a background check stage, you can explain it to employers so they spot it.

4. Who can I use as references after a long freelancing career?

I’ve worked at the same company for four years and have been promoted twice. Prior to that, I was a part-time freelancer for 18 years. While I could ask a few people I worked with in the past for references, the ideal reference would be my current boss. She knows me, has gone to bat for me, etc. But obviously I can’t use her since I don’t want her to know I’m looking for another job! My references from the past might not even remember me, plus the nature of my job has changed a lot since I went back to a full-time office job. What does one do in this situation?

I’d explain the situation and offer clients from when you were freelancing (the more substantial the work you did for them, the better, and as recent as possible), as well as any coworkers from your current job who you trust to be discreet (most reference-checkers won’t want to talk with them since they’re peers, but it’s a gesture of good faith to offer them in this context).

5. Listing several short contracts at two companies on a resume

In my first year out of grad school, I’ve been bouncing back and forth between two companies for short-term contracts (currently pretty normal for my field). Now that a year has gone by, I’m struggling with how to format my resume. It seems silly to me to list each 3-month term separately, since they fall under only 2 companies and my job title didn’t change between terms (just different projects). It also makes my resume longer than I think it needs to be. I was thinking about listing these jobs on my resume like this:

Junior Teapot Maker, Company A, 08/2013 – 04/2014
Teapot Repair Technician, Company B, 02/2013 – 02/2014

Rather than:

Junior Teapot Maker, Company A, 01/2014 – 04/2014
Teapot Repair Technician, Company B, 11/2013 – 02/2014
Junior Teapot Maker, Company A, 08/2013 – 11/2013
Teapot Repair Technician, Company B, 02/2013 – 07/2013

Does this make sense or will the overlap in dates raise too many red flags for employers?

I would actually do it this way so that you’re not claiming to have been there when you actually weren’t (which could raise red flags in a reference check), but still keeps it streamlined:

Junior Teapot Maker, Company A, 08/2013 – 11/2013, 01/2014 – 04/2014
Teapot Repair Technician, Company B, 02/2013 – 07/2013, 11/2013 – 02/2014