Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My offer letter promised me a six-month raise, but it never happened

I’m an electrical engineer with a four-year degree and 8 years experience making $40k. Horrible, I know. I took the current position because I was going to be laid off from my last job, where I was making $65k. I received an offer letter in writing that I would be making $75k after 6 months, so I accepted the offer. The 6-month mark came and went a month ago, still no raise. I am trying to decide if I should ask about it or just look for a new job. Since a written agreement was not followed, what else can I expect?

If I look for a new job, they will ask what I am making, which is rude anyway. They will also ask my reason for leaving. Should I tell them the real reason is salary? But that looks bad. Should I make something up?

Well, wait. You haven’t even brought this up with your employer yet? Yes, they should have been on top of it, but mistakes happen. And no one is going to advocate for you the way you should advocate for yourself. You need to speak up. Go to your manager and say, “We agreed that my salary would increase to $75,000 after six months. What do I need to do to put that in motion?”

I don’t know how much past the six-month mark you are now and ideally you would have said this right when it happened, but it’s not too late to go do it now. But the longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes, so go do that now.

As for your actual question, if it does turn out that you decide to job search over this (which you should not decide before trying to resolve this first), you can explain that some conditions of the job turned out to be significantly different from what you’d negotiated. And if asked to be more specific, you can certainly say salary. As for getting into specific numbers, you should avoid that anyway, as it’s no one’s business but yours.

2. Can I ask for a slightly higher salary since I’m on my parents’ health care plan?

I’m graduating from college soon and am looking for jobs. Thanks to the ACA, I will be able to stay on my parents’ very excellent federal employee health insurance plan for the next 4 years, and as far as I know, very few employers are able to offer better plans than that.

So I was wondering: if/when I get a job offer somewhere, and if it turns out that staying on my parents’ plan makes most sense, then is there a polite way to negotiate that into a slightly higher salary? Something to the effect of “You won’t need to pay for my health insurance for a few years, so could you put that extra money into my salary instead?” (but obviously more polite than that).

Eh, I doubt it, and here’s why: While you can sometimes use being on a spouse’s health insurance plan to negotiate a higher salary because of the cost savings to your employer, employers are less likely to want to do it for someone in your situation — because when you age out of your parents’ plan, you’re going to need insurance through your employer. And are you going to be happy taking a pay cut at that point? Most people wouldn’t be, and employers don’t want to deal with the issues that arise around that.

And you might figure that that’s four years away and you might be working somewhere else by then so it won’t matter, but if they make this arrangement with you, it’ll be hard for them to refuse to do it for others on their parents’ insurance — and they’re really not going to want to do it for a 25-year-old, who will age out of their parents’ plan in just a year. They’re more likely not to want to mess with it at all.

(Plus, this might be a minor point, but I’d be wary of negotiating based on “I’m on my parents’ health care plan,” since it makes you sound like less of a self-sufficient adult.)

3. My boss is being investigated by HR

My immediate boss is being investigated (for publicly humiliating people, not getting projects completed, lying about it, etc.). Its been a long time coming and I am one of the people who have been confidentially interviewed about this boss. I have learned that one of my colleagues was also interviewed by HR about this boss – because he told everyone about it, including the boss in question!

Unfortunately, this boss is a Jekyll and Hyde type and is now being super nice now that he knows something is up. However, he is also on a not-so-subtle witch hunt to find out who has talked to HR and what they said. I found out that he looked into my email yesterday. He asked to leave something on my desk, and I said sure. When I got to my desk about an hour later, I noticed that my “deleted items” folder on my Outlook was open. I never open that folder.

Either he isn’t very bright (my first guess) or he was intentionally letting me know he was looking (which I wouldn’t put past him either). This would seem to me to qualify as interfering with the investigation. I appraised HR of this development and am otherwise a keeping low profile. Any suggestions?

Telling HR what you suspected was exactly the right thing to do. If you see any signs that your boss is messing with you further, or that he’s retaliating against you in any way for talking to HR, you should tell them that too. But otherwise, I’d just be patient and wait to see how this plays out.

4. Who to use as a reference when you’ve only had one manager since graduating

I am a relatively recent college graduate who has currently been working my first job for the past three years with the same manager. I am in the process of looking for a new position right now. So far, I haven’t made much progress in getting interviews but there is one issue that has been nagging at me for a while: whom does an applicant provide as references when looking for their second job?

When job hunting, it is accepted as standard practice to not use a current manager as a reference in order to avoid the risk of employer retaliation. But what does one do when they only have had one manager since graduating? I really don’t want to use professors as my only source of references because I would like to have someone speak on the behalf of my working abilities.

Past posts on AAM point out that it is a bad idea to use coworkers as references because they are seen as less legitimate and that managers are preferred. I feel that my manager might not take the news well that I am job hunting and do not want to do something that would most certainly tip him off. What should I do in this situation?

Yes, you shouldn’t use your current manager as a reference, because it can jeopardize your current job. Prospective employers will understand your situation; you just need to explain it to them. As for who to use instead: managers from internships, summer jobs, on-campus jobs, or even volunteer work are all acceptable this early in your career.

5. Is my company cheating me out of overtime pay?

I think my company is cheating me out of overtime pay. I get paid bi-weekly and am paid hourly. In some pay periods, I will sometimes work 45 hours the first week and 35 hours the second week. Technically I should get 5 hours of overtime for the first week, but what my employer is doing is adding the 5 hours to the second week so it’s 40 hours each week. So basically as long as I don’t go over 80 hours in a pay period, I don’t receive overtime. I feel like this is illegal and have no idea how to approach my boss about this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, this is illegal. Overtime must be calculated based on the hours you work within a single seven-day period (and in California, within the hours you work within a single day). Your employer doesn’t have the option to calculate it based on their pay period instead.

It’s always easier to address this stuff if you initially raise it in a non-adversarial manner — something like, “I noticed my overtime pay has been calculated incorrectly. It’s been based on my hours in a two-week period, but we’re required to calculate it based on a seven-day period. It looks like I’m owed about X hours of overtime for the past several months. How should I get this corrected?”

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. We have to write letters to our boss while she decides whether to invite us back

The school I work for had a leadership transition this year. It’s a mess. The mission is confused, the leadership transition was accompanied by a number of mid-year layoffs (highly unusual for a school), and new boss has introduced a number of initiatives and new procedures over the last few months that have made the year even more chaotic and stressful. It might just be the timing — new boss has a lot of good ideas, and there’s definitely room for improvement here.

However, in a recent email the new head of school informed us that leadership was asking each of us to write her a letter (one page or less) explaining what we’ve contributed to the school personally and professionally, whether we plan to stay next year, our personal and professional goals for next year, and where we would like to see the school as a whole go. New boss will then distribute letters to all of us on the same day, either extending an invitation to stay or “thank you” letters for our service.

I don’t plan to stay, but don’t want to burn my bridges in case nothing else comes along. So — is this normal? How does one write a letter like this?

Well, there’s nothing wrong her request for the write-ups in and of itself — wanting to hear your assessment of your performance, your goals for your work, and your thoughts for the school is reasonable. What’s weird about this is that she’s apparently planning to make decisions about whether to invite you back before she reads what you have to say — which raises the question of why she’s asking for this from the people who she’s not even considering working with again. It’s weird, and it comes across as some of game-playing with a whiff of a power trip. (But if she was going to get the letters earlier in the process and consider them as part of her decision-making, that would make a lot more sense.)

2. Company wants to try me in a temporary role before they commit — can I keep interviewing?

After 6 months of contact, including hours of interviews, Company A has offered me a full-time exempt role. The catch is that is is temporary for up to 90 days without benefits. The recruiter said that this wasn’t unusual and was a trial period to see if the fit was right for both sides. Is this a common practice? She said the team was enthusiastic, but this does seem odd to me for a director level role (20+ years experience on my end). After being unemployed for over 6 months, I need to take it, and would love to land it full-time. My concern is, without more of a commitment from them, I feel like it is only fair to continue interviewing until things are settled. It’s a bit awkward because I have two other companies that I am also in process with. If one of them offers me something attractive, is it okay to take it since the role with company A is temporary at this point? I understand with the job market things are changing, but I just wish things were a bit more clear.

No, it’s not common practice, particularly for senior roles. But as long as they’re not committing to you, you don’t need to commit to them — which means you’d be smart to keep interviewing and well within your rights to take a different role if it’s offered to you during that time. (That assumes that you’re truly a “temporary” employee during this 90-day period — as opposed to it just being a three-month probationary period, which is indeed common for new employees.)

3. My boss won’t let me serve on boards or committees in our field

I have a poor relationship with my boss. The latest repercussion/realization I am confronted with is that my boss believes that they have the power to dictate my participation in professional development opportunities like board membership, committee service, and likely anything done in relation to our field, regardless of whether it is done on work time or my time. This was communicated by email and ended with a closing statement that forbid any further discussion. Right before this email, I received an invitation to serve on a small state-wide focus group to discuss the future of our field (run by a granting institution that we closely and often work with). There is no point in asking to attend, but I feel that the offer requires a reply.

Is it legal for my boss to forbid me from serving in my field on my own time? How should I decline the opportunity to serve in the focus group or any other offers that come my way? Should I cite a previous commitment? Is there anyway to decline without putting the blame on myself or my institution? How do I avoid precluding future participation, should I change jobs in the near future?

Yes, your boss can prohibit you from doing this type of thing in your off time. I’d be curious to know her reasoning, though. There are crappy reasons (like if she just doesn’t like you) and there are more legitimate reasons (like if her sense is that you’ll be seen as representing your company even if you say you’re there only in a personal capacity). In any case, I think you could decline by saying something like, “I’d love to, but my current position precludes me taking on outside professional work. But I’d love to stay in touch and perhaps get involved in the future.”

4. Fired for refusing to answer manager’s questions on the weekend

We live in the “at will” state of Washington so I know that an employee can get fired for no reason (barring a few discriminatory scenarios). However, I know someone who is an hourly employee who was repeatedly texted and emailed off the clock to work and get answers to his manager. He responded a day later and said he would get back to the manager on Monday and that he was off the clock and spending time with his family. He got fired the next Monday. Is this legal, even in an at-will state? Apparently, this happens all the time and the company has no policy or way to track this and pay employees for work they are expected to do off the clock. And to get fired for that reason! Is it legal?

Yes, a company can require employees to do work outside of their normal hours, including on the weekend. However, if the employee is non-exempt, they must be paid for that time. So based on what’s here, it was perfectly legal for the company to fire your friend, but illegal for them not to pay him for any work done off the clock (assuming he’s non-exempt).

5. Disclosing that my company is owned by my father

I currently work at a small company owned and operated by my father. There are fewer than 20 employees and I’m related in some capacity to about one-third of them. It is a science-based company while my interest is in the humanities. I took the job mainly because I couldn’t find anything in my field. I graduated college about 5 years ago and have worked here on and off probably for 3 years total, the last year and half being spent solely working here while my other, early jobs were non-professional. My time here has been a mixed bag, and I am thinking of moving on and applying to other jobs in fields more relevant to my interests.

When applying for jobs, should I disclose that I work for my father? If so, how much do I disclose and at what stage? My direct supervisors are not related to me, but obviously they ultimately work for my father, and I worry that a potential employer finding that out would make them question whether I am there only because I am the owner’s kid, not to mention make them wonder how much stock they can put in my references. A quick Google search would reveal the company website with my father’s name as the president, so I believe if called for an interview, any HR rep worth their weight would either know going in or soon after that I work for my father, or at least my family. Is it something I should mention early in the interview or on my resume in some capacity to head this off, or am I over-thinking this? It could help explain why I work in a field unrelated to my degree or past experience, but I also worry I might be shooting myself in the foot.

You don’t need to proactively disclose it at the application or interview stage, although you also shouldn’t hide it if it comes up. So for instance, if you’re asked about why you chose to work there, you’d explain what you explained here. If it doesn’t come up before the reference-checking stage, you should definitely mention it then — as in, “My company is owned by my father. My manager is someone different, but I felt I should be up-front about that fact.” It’s better for them to hear it from you than to hear it during a reference call.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My assistant keeps commenting on my appearance

How do I approach my administrative assistant about inappropriate comments she makes on my physical appearance? I am in my mid 20s, and she is in her mid 50s. She calls herself the mother of our unit and takes great care of us. However, with me, because I am the only single young female in the group, she makes lots of comments about my looks. She goes so far as to comment that my skin is breaking out after a particularly stressful week and that I should eat a salad instead of a cheeseburger for lunch to stay thin because I am single. How do I address this with her in a professional and explicit manner, and eliminate her “mothering” tendencies?

Be direct and straightforward. The next time she makes one of these comments, say, “Jane, I appreciate your concern, but I’d rather not discuss my appearance. Thank you!” If it continues after that, you can either continue repeat that as needed, or you can talk to her privately about the pattern. If you do the latter, I’d say something like, “I really appreciate how much easier you make my job. There’s something I’ve noticed, though, that you might not realize you’re doing. You’ve been commenting a lot on my appearance lately. I know it comes from a kind place, but I’d rather not discuss my appearance (or my diet) at work. I’m not comfortable with it, and I’d like to keep the focus on my work.”

Read an update to this letter here.

2. I seem too shy in interviews

I am a recent graduate who has been getting experience at an internship in the field that I want to work in. I am a naturally quiet person, but not shy. On the job, I do speak up when needed and can get my points across, but I feel like my interviewers may be writing me off for poor communication because of that aspect of my personality (which is bad because all of the jobs in my field require high communication skills).

I have been to a handful of personality screenings and interviews, and at one the interviewer has pointed out that my “reserved” personality might not be the best fit for the position, and I think this may be a reason I am not getting any job offers. Is there a way for me to point out that my quietness isn’t a hindrance upon my job performance in the interview or in a follow-up email without it seeming out of place?

I’d look for a spot in the interview to raise it organically, such as when you’re asked about challenges you’ve overcome or how you work with others, and then I’d say something like this: “People often think I’m quiet and reserved when they first meet me, but I’m simply thoughtful. For instance, (insert story here about a time you used your communication skills to get something done — ideally a story about you that might surprise them if they’ve written you off as shy).”

However, you should also keep in mind that if your field requires strong communication skills and you’re being written off as not a strong communicator, it probably isn’t enough just to do the above. You also need to SHOW that you have sufficiently strong communication skills, by the way you communicate throughout the interview — so I’d really put some energy into practicing coming across as more engaged and at least a little less shy during interviews.

3. I don’t want to pay for Internet access to work from home

Six months ago, I began working for a Fortune 500 company; it’s a little out of my comfort zone (I have more experience in nonprofits and public agencies) but I am getting along okay. It seems that every few months there is a shift in our job roles at this company. We were told a few weeks ago that all revenue functions would be relocated to our office, which means my team of 7 will now take on the work of 25+ people who were working in another state and are being laid off. These new job duties are of course in addition to our current duties.

Good news: there has been mention of elevating our job titles, and I am hoping and praying that means a raise, too, since we will have much more work in this new role. Bad (?) news: I will be given a laptop, to work from home as needed. The main problem with this is that I don’t have internet access at home. The other problem is that, as a mom of two, I took this job with the main goal of not working from home (or on weekends, which I have done a few times) and having more time for my sons.

Would it be wise or in poor taste to politely ask my employer for a stipend to cover the expense of home internet service? There is only one internet provider in my neighborhood, and the cost will be about $65/month for just internet service. Without a raise, this is not an expense that I can afford for at least 6 months, when my youngest will start kindergarten and I can stop paying for preschool (yippeee!!).

You can certainly say, “I don’t currently have Internet access at home, in part because of the expense, and it’s not something I can put in my budget for the next six months. Is this an expense that I could submit for reimbursement?” If you feel odd about saying this, you can add, “I feel funny about asking.” Sometimes just adding that line can make something like this feel less awkward.

(Also, be aware that theoretically, they’d be within their rights to require home Internet access as a condition of the job. They’re pretty unlikely to do that, but it’s good to be aware of the possibility.)

4. Should I invite my coworkers to my graduation party?

I will be graduating with my masters at the end of this term. For the event, I have about 15 out-of-town guests coming in, and my parents are hosting a big party. My bosses have been more than accommodating with allowing me to leave early two days a week for class, and they are obviously aware graduation is coming soon and that we are expecting a big crowd. I am by far the youngest person in my office, so we don’t ever socialize outside of work. Should I invite my coworkers and supervisors to attend the party? I don’t want them to feel obligated to come, and I especially don’t want them to feel obligated to bring gifts. It will be a very mixed crowd, ranging from parents and older family friends to my friends and peers (all under 30). I have gotten mixed advice about this, and would very much appreciate your insight.

It’s totally your call. It would be fine to invite them, and it would fine not to. But they’re highly, highly unlikely to be offended or hurt if you don’t. I’d decide this one based on whether you’d genuinely like to see them there or not. (And whether you want to restrain your behavior — or your friends’ behavior — in the ways that you’d need to when people from work are around. Which might be irrelevant if your parents are there, but also might not be.)

5. My manager knows I’m job searching and asked me to set an end date

I am currently employed part-time, and I am finishing my master’s degree (in an unrelated field to my current job). I have been open about my intentions to find employment in a new field pertinent to my master’s, and during a recent performance review my boss has asked about submitting a termination date to HR in a few months’ time. I am ambivalent about what this means. I understand that my open intentions have prompted this, but am wondering why I’m being asked to commit to a date as opposed to being allowed to put my two weeks in when I have a job lined up. At this point in the game, I don’t have a job lined up for after graduation, although I’m in the midst of job searching. Is there a way to reapproach this issue with my manager?

It’s not unreasonable that your boss, knowing that you’re leaving sometime relatively soon, wants to be able to start planning for that — searching for a replacement, etc. You’ve sort of given notice already, just without a firm date attached to it, and now your boss wants to close that loop so that she’s not just at the mercy of your job hunt. (This, of course, is the potential downside of long notice periods, and why it’s important to have a sense of how your boss handles lengthy notice periods before entering into one. It’s also a downside of open-ended notice periods; at some point, someone is going to attach an end date to it, and it’s not always the employee.)

You could go back to your boss and try to work out something different — such as explaining that you don’t know how long your job search will take and asking if it’s possible to leave it open-ended for now … and perhaps even nicely pointing out that you were honest about your intentions out of loyalty to her and the organization (if that’s true) and that you’re hoping they’ll be able to give you some flexibility in return. But to some extent, this will depend on how valued you are (good managers will be flexible to keep a high performer in this situation happy, but might just want to wrap things up with others) and what your manager’s reasons are for wanting to move forward.