Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I’ve been told I’m socializing too much with other teams

I have been at my current job for a year and have been struggling with fitting in. I think there’s a big culture difference than what I’m used to, and I’ve also dealt with a lot of bullying from my team. I’ve been job searching, but no luck so far.

I’m finally starting to make friends with people at work outside of my team, which is great! I’ll occasionally (no more than once per day, if that) go down to their unit to spend 5-15 minutes chatting, and maybe once every two weeks I’ll eat lunch with them in their unit (we don’t really have a convenient break room, so everyone usually eats at their desks). Our jobs don’t overlap at all, so I’ve asked general questions about their job process out of curiosity, learning more about my organization, etc.

The third person in their unit reported to their supervisor that I’m there way too often and that I’ve been trying to get them to show me sensitive information (this is not true at all). Luckily, their supervisor didn’t really believe his full side of things, talked to my friends, and cleared that up quickly. It’s worth mentioning that I currently do not have a supervisor as he was moved to a different unit.

However, in the past, people have mentioned to my old supervisor that I tend to “linger” when I go to collaborate with other units, which is a big part of my job. I was not formally reprimanded, just nicely told that it was something to keep in mind.

I truly don’t believe that I’m this big of a distraction, but I’m having a hard time since this has now been brought up twice in some capacity. This seems like a place where you’re fine if your friends are already in your unit, because you don’t have to move anywhere to chat, but if you aren’t friends with your unit, you’re out of luck.

I don’t think I’ve changed my behavior at all, and in my previous job I was known for being personable and received excellent reviews my entire five years there. Is this just a culture fit problem, or am I the problem?

It’s hard to say, but I’m concerned that it’s been brought up twice now.

I’m curious about what the vibe was when the other unit’s supervisor spoke to you about it, especially in the conversation after they investigated a little more — because there’s a whole spectrum of possibilities there, from that manager thinking it was ridiculous that the complaint was made at all to something more like “the person who complained was off-base about the details but it would still be better to avoid this coming up again.”

Absent any other info, I’d say that yeah, you need to spend less time in that other unit — because even if the person who complained was totally off-base, from a work-priorities perspective it’s more important that the manager not have to keep refereeing this (and that you don’t look oblivious to the feedback) than that you get to eat lunch over there.

(The lunch thing in particular sticks out to me, because if “eating at their desks” means “working while they eat” — for any of them, even if not for all — it would definitely be annoying to have someone from another department show up with their sandwich to turn the time into a purely social one.)

I would also say, now that you’ve been talked to about it a couple of times, five minutes of chit-chat is okay but 15 minutes at a time is pretty long and you should stick to five … and even then you should be alert to the other person’s cues — are they actively engaged in and enthusiastic about the conversation / are their eyes getting pulled back toward their screen / etc.

But also, all of this is just about calibrating yourself to the norms of the organization you’re in. It doesn’t mean you’re an annoying person or you were overstaying your welcome with colleagues in past jobs. It’s just about paying attention to how things work in this environment and adjusting accordingly. Which especially sucks since your own team has been awful to you, but is probably the reality of it.

Read an update to this letter. 

2. Explaining to new hires that we just had two employees arrested for embezzling

I’ve worked for a small company which handles a lot of money, including cash payments, for about eight years. Five years ago, a staff member, Sarah, was caught and arrested for embezzling a huge sum of money. Afterwards, we instituted new security procedures and we were all caught up in a heartbreaking criminal investigation and trial. Sarah spent four months in prison and now will have to repay about 6% of what she stole.

As the criminal proceedings were winding down, we hired Lily. Lily knew about our changes in security and I think, crucially, realized that Sarah’s actions were not met with equitable repercussions. Lily instituted a criminal scheme and has been caught and charged with embezzlement of a lower, but still significant, sum of money.

The crisis with Lily just came to light this past week and I have two new direct reports starting Monday. Presumably, we will also be filling Lily’s role. I feel like being too transparent about what happened with Sarah may have contributed to the Lily situation, but I also know that hearing about Lily from colleagues is unavoidable, and I know that I will at least have to come up with a reasonable way of explaining our security overhaul and why our boss is meeting with police and prosecutors.

What’s the proper way of handling this situation? Am I just way overthinking things? How much transparency is helpful vs. harmful?

Most people don’t see a light sentence and think, “Great, I can handle four months in prison — I’ll embezzle too.” It’s far more likely that your security procedures are still far too lax and don’t have enough checks and balances. It shouldn’t be possible for someone to embezzle without those checks and balances flagging it very early on. That’s where I’d focus — on figuring out tighter systems, including bringing in outside security experts if you haven’t already.

As for the new hires, be matter-of-fact about it and don’t beat around the bush — “this happened, there’s an ongoing investigation, and we’re in the middle of a security overhaul.” They’re going to hear about it from coworkers anyway, and it’s far better for you to matter-of-fact address what’s going on than for them to have to piece it together on their own. The issue isn’t that if you’re honest about Sarah and Lily, your new hires might decide to embezzle too; the issue is that your company, for some reason, has still left itself far too open to it being possible.

3. My coworker always asks me for guidance on work I don’t know anything about

My colleague, Petunia, and I both report to the same manager, Iris. We are the same rank on two different teams in the same department. We work on projects together regularly, but we do not assign each other tasks and we have independent tasks that are assigned to us by Iris. I find Iris to be very approachable and collaborative as a manager.

Petunia regularly asks me what her tasks are for projects that I am not involved in, instead of asking the person who assigned the tasks. I usually respond by saying she should check in with the senior person who assigned the task.

Most recently, there was a meeting with Iris, Petunia, and I to discuss a large project with input from the different teams. I completed my portion of the project, then Iris said she and Petunia would work on another portion of the project without me. Petunia agreed to this and did not ask any follow-up questions during the meeting. After the meeting, Petunia immediately asked me, “What do I need to prepare for the task with Iris?” I said I wasn’t sure, and she should ask Iris for guidance.

This has happened on several occasions, and initially I chalked it up to Petunia looking for reassurance from a peer. However, I’m beginning to find the questions grating as I’m not involved with assigning tasks and it seems obvious to me that Petunia would follow up with Iris or whoever assigned the task to understand their expectations. Am I being too harsh? And how do I address this constructively?

No, this is strange! And it’s one thing for Petunia to ask you once or twice, but it sounds like it’s happening a lot and that’s bizarre; if nothing else, she should be realizing from your responses that you’re the wrong person to help.

So, it’s time to name the pattern: “You ask me a lot about your tasks for projects I’m not involved in, so I wanted to make sure you realize: I’m never going to be able to answer those questions for you — you will always need to ask Iris or whoever assigned you the work. It doesn’t make sense to bring those to me.”

And then if she keeps doing it after that: “This is what I meant — this isn’t anything I can answer.”

If that doesn’t take care of it, you could mention it to Iris if you want, framed as, “I think Petunia might need guidance from you on what to do when she has questions about a project. She’s been asking me, but I’m not involved enough with her work to know, and while I’ve suggested she talk to you instead, she’s still coming to me.”

4. My team apologizes for repeated mistakes but it keeps happening

I run a successful print shop, but lately my team seems to not perform accurately. They need to enter the press orders correctly or read the orders correctly and when I mention they did not, which meant we then had to reprint the job, costing the company money, their only response is, “I’m sorry.”

These same mistakes keep happening and again I get “I’m sorry.” What is the best way to respond? Especially since it does not seem to help and they keep doing the same mistakes.

You need to talk about the pattern: “This has been happening repeatedly lately, so we need to figure out to do differently. I don’t need you to apologize — I want you to dig in with me on figuring out where our processes are going wrong. What’s your sense of why it keeps happening and what we can change to prevent it?”

And then listen. They might have insight into the situation that you don’t. But if they don’t, then it’s appropriate for you to try to figure out solutions (which could be anything from retraining to instituting a checklist that needs to be signed off on before any job is run or adjusting your staffing levels if you realize people are rushing at an unreasonable rate to get everything done, or who knows what). At some point you might conclude that the issue is the person, not the systems, but if you’re seeing it with multiple people, it’s more likely that it’s something about the system. Start there.

5. Can I ask if I’m going to be laid off in a merger?

My company recently announced a merger. They’re not handling it well (I could write many more letters about all of the issues). While some people have been quietly let go and we only know from office chatter, the messaging has been that there will be more people let go but they don’t want to talk about it until it’s done.

My dilemma is that my mortgage is up for renewal in the next two months. The interest rates have climbed, so the new payment will be quite a bit higher (I’m in Canada, where mortgage terms are typically three to five years, then renewed at the current rate). If I lose this job, I will likely get a severance payment, but jobs in my industry are scarce right now and all companies are laying people off. If I renew the mortgage and end up having to sell the house, I will be on the hook for tens of thousands of dollars of interest with the bank.

Is it okay to reach out to the new leaders and ask that they let me know if they plan on letting me go sooner rather than later? It would mean having to sell the house quickly and other stresses, but at least I wouldn’t be on the hook for so much money to the bank? Or am I just putting myself at risk of looking like I’ve placed an ultimatum in front of them and invite them to terminate me anyway?

You can ask, but you can’t really depend on their answer if they tell you that your job is safe. If decisions are ongoing, they might not even know for sure yet, and if they do know they might not be willing to tell you. (There’s a lot of business philosophy that goes into the timing of layoff announcements, and it’s probably not going to be trumped by your personal situation.) It’s also possible that the person you ask might not be privy to decisions being made above them.

Because of that, as a general rule I don’t recommend even bothering to ask; you’re unlikely to get an answer you can count on. That said, in your case there’s not really anything to lose by explaining your situation and asking (assuming you don’t present it as an ultimatum, which of course you shouldn’t). You won’t be able to put any real weight on a “no,” but it’s possible you could nudge them into giving you some information (or just making a decision about you) faster. There’s no guarantee of that but it’s also not likely to hurt you, so I lean toward thinking you might as well, just for the small chance that it does produce something useful in a situation where you really, really need it. But simultaneously, be thinking about what you want to do if you don’t get any useful info, which is very likely to be the outcome.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I’m worried my care manager will burn herself out

I am very lucky to live in a place where I get a lot of help from various places and people for my significant disabilities. For years, I managed it all myself, but about 18 months ago the agency that is supposed to coordinate my care hired A, who is quite possibly the first competent person to ever land in her job. (Among other things, I and others apparently have random funding that we were not using because we did not know that we had it!) My problem is that I really worry that A is going to burn out very fast, because she is simply too eager to help. For example, I am going through a crisis right now which she is very involved in, but I find it very unnerving to get texts from her after hours telling me to text her or call at any time. I do not want her to be checking her phone after hours! I also sometimes would send emails at random hours of the night, and she would respond to them right away, which indicates to me that she is working very long hours. (Now I am careful to only send emails to her during working hours.)

I really worry A is worrying too much about me, and if she is extending this worry and care to all of her clients, she’s going to burn out very very fast. I know that she cannot get paid that much for her work, and I would strongly prefer for her to be able to stay in her position and get promoted and not leave the field. I certainly do not want to tell her how to do her job or live her life, but with a crisis at 9 pm I’m going to call family or friends or my rabbi, not her.

I don’t want her to burn out, but unless she learns to leave work at work, she will. I have absolutely no idea what to do.

There’s probably very little you can do, unfortunately. A is going to have to figure out the right balance for herself on her own. She might burn out and leave the job earlier than you’d want or leave the field entirely.

Or she might not! While I’d never suggest anyone work those sorts of hours for their entire career, some people do legitimately thrive on being very work-focused during some seasons of their life, and then they change that as their lives/priorities/energy levels change. I personally did exactly that and have watched peers do it, too. For what it’s worth, I would have been a little annoyed by someone telling me I shouldn’t be doing it during the years when I was getting a lot of fulfillment from it.

But whatever happens, it’s A’s to figure out and your ability to influence it is pretty limited.

You can certainly tell her that she’s the best care manager you’ve had, you value her and her work highly, and you’re concerned about the hours you see her working because you want her schedule to be sustainable so she can stay in the field long-term. And you should be thoughtful about the hours when you contact her, as you’ve been doing. But beyond that, it’s something A is going to have to manage herself.

2. Coworkers are hassling me about using disposable lunch containers

I work in a non-teaching position at a university. Every employee is provided one cafeteria meal per shift worked. My department is busiest around lunchtime, so my colleagues and I usually grab to-go boxes and bring our food back and eat at our desks while we work (yay academia!).

This year the university has made a big push for reducing our carbon footprint. Part of this includes giving us all a reusable to-go container to use for food when we take meals from the cafeteria. My colleagues have all started using their reusable containers and washing them in our building’s kitchen area after each use.

I … can’t. I have OCD and dishes don’t feel clean to me unless they have gone through a dishwasher. I take medication for my OCD and have spoken with my psychiatrist about it, but this is a hurdle I just can’t seem to pass. There’s no logic behind it. Each day I continue to use a disposable tray because otherwise I’d feel so anxious that I wouldn’t be able to eat.

I didn’t think anyone would notice, but lately my colleagues have started to comment on my not using the reusable container I was provided. I pretended to forget it for a few days, but now they’re pressing me to get a replacement if I can’t find it, reminding me of the importance of not living a disposable lifestyle, and otherwise commenting on how I transport my food. Our desks are all right beside each other’s, so even if I didn’t walk over with them, they’d see my meal. They’re otherwise nice people, so I think their comments are well-intentioned … albeit unwelcome.

I understand the importance of responsibility in being a good steward to our environment, but I don’t think there’s any way I can use one of those reusable containers. I also don’t want to disclose my mental health issues with my colleagues. There are so many stereotypes and stigmas that surround OCD and I’d rather not be branded with them. Any ideas on a good script for getting them off my back?

First, any chance you could ask for a couple more of the reusable trays? That would let you take them home and run them through the dishwasher in between uses.

If that’s not possible or doesn’t solve it, you could say to colleagues who ask about it, “I have a medical issue that makes these the best option for me.” If anyone is rude enough to demand details, you should say, “I don’t want to get into medical stuff at work, thanks for understanding.”

3. Can I give constructive clothing advice to the person who took over my job?

I work in a field where meeting with elected officials is a core part of the job. I recently got an exciting new job, but still have many ties at and fond feelings for my last organization.

I recently saw photos from the most recent trip to D.C. posted by the organization. The person who eventually took over in my last position dresses much more casually than I would recommend when meeting with elected officials. Her look is more “college student on a date” than “professional representing a business organization.”

Is there a constructive way to tell her that elected officials will take her and the organization more seriously if she dresses more seriously? I think she is already at a disadvantage because she is on the younger side for this field, and I would like to see her succeed.

For context, she and I are on cordial terms; I have met with her once or twice to explain the history of certain projects and help with the position transition. I am in my mid-40’s, and she is in her late 20’s.

Not really. If you were in regular touch and had a mentor-type relationship, or if you were doing a lobby day together or something, then you could — but given the level of contact you described, it’s going to seem like a big overstep to say, essentially, “I saw photos of you and you should change how you dress.”

This is really something her employer should be flagging for her if it’s an issue; if they’re not doing that and it’s genuinely a problem, that’s on them — but there’s no way for you to do it based on seeing photos that won’t feel off.

4. Are our offices really getting cleaned?

I work for a company with a very flexible WFH schedule as we are often in the field meeting with members and can do much of our other work from home. However, we cannot print, shred, or mail from home.

We have several regional hubs that we can work from to complete these tasks and can reserve a desk or private office in advance or day of from an app. My problem lies in the cleanliness of the office.

There is reportedly a cleaning company that cleans the office each day. I say reportedly because there is an old desk calendar from March 2020 on the floor of one office and large cobwebs across the corner of another.

How do I bring this up to someone in the company without sounding lazy or like a complainer? Yes, of course I could pick up and throw out the calendar. However, I was hired this year and am not interested in disturbing years worth of dust and sneezing all day. We have an office manager, but she is the person who orders supplies and makes sure the printer works, not someone who cleans.

“Do you know if the cleaners are still coming regularly? It looks like some offices haven’t been cleaned for a while and I wasn’t sure if I should bring it to someone’s attention.”

You’re not going to sound lazy for asking if maintenance is being done when it appears that it’s not, and it’s not complaining to flag a potential work-related issue that might need attention. If the people who would normally be in charge of noticing and addressing it aren’t in the office much, it’s possible it’s just slipped off their radar and this will be a useful nudge. (That said, office cleaners don’t usually throw out things like old materials — nor should they! — so the old calendar doesn’t signify much. But the cobwebs are an issue!)

5. Should I apply for a senior job to get considered for lower-level ones?

I’m considering a career change out of sales into a more technical field. While I have college coursework and work experience that would support this change, I’m currently taking certification classes and building my portfolio to make myself as strong of a candidate as possible.

I was browsing job postings for the type of work I’m looking for (so I can tailor my studies to meet the typical job requirements) and saw that a large, well-know company is opening a warehouse locally to me, and are currently looking for a level III version of my (potential) new career path. The posting includes this level III employee as managing junior employees. I have the impression from the listing that the person they hire for this role will have a say in future hires.

While I would in no way qualify for this level III position, and I don’t feel qualified enough yet to apply to an entry-level role in this field, I received some advice that I should apply regardless in the hopes that I’d be considered as a future team member for a level I role. Is this a legitimate strategy, or would any hiring manager question my reading comprehension? Would a cover letter explaining that I’m interested in a future role help?

No, definitely don’t do that. If you don’t qualify yet for a level I role, applying now for a level III position will look really strange — some combination of naive/presumptuous/not understanding your own qualifications and what it takes to do the job well. If their system highlights past applications at the point when you apply for real, it’ll be a strike against you — not a huge one, but you’re better off without it.

When this kind of thing can work is when you’re currently qualified for a slightly lower level position (not two levels below) and they might be hiring for one of those soon — and then they can shuffle you on to that track instead, or tell you to keep an eye out for that posting. But when you’re not even ready to apply for the entry-level job, there’s not anything to be gained by doing it.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Can I tell an employee who calls in sick at the last minute to find their own coverage?

I know that you always advocate for the employer to find coverage when an employee is sick. But what about when it’s always at the last second?

I own a cafe and people have to be there at 6:30 in the morning. When people text me the night before that they are not feeling well, I have no problem calling around to see if anyone can cover it. I’m talking about when people call at 6:25 in the morning to tell me that they don’t feel well, and should they still come in if they’re throwing up/have a fever? (Magic words in the food service industry.) My opinion is, if you’re calling me at 6:25 in the morning, you knew that you were sick for quite some time, and you’re probably just lying in bed thinking, “Ugh, I don’t want to get up.” So now I have to continue doing my job, plus your job. I don’t have time to call six people to see if they can cover for you. Can I tell people that’s their responsibility?

No, you should not. It’s not reasonable to expect someone who’s sick and probably needs to go back to bed to start making phone calls. Moreover, finding coverage is work! I realize it’s common in food service to treat it as if it’s not and to expect people to do that labor unpaid, but any time someone is spending their time in service of their employer and engaging in action they wouldn’t be taking otherwise, that’s actual work and they should be compensated for it. And in this case, your employee is too sick to do that work and so it falls to you or someone you designate to take on that task instead.

That said, you can certainly ask people to alert you as early as possible if they’re sick. They might be waiting until just before 6:30 because they don’t think you’d want to be contacted at, say, 5 am … so ask them to text as early as they know they won’t be coming in, in case they haven’t thought that part of it through.

2. My manager invited half of us to a party at her house and excluded the rest of us

My supervisor invited two employees to a party at her house this weekend. I overheard (it’s important that I overheard) her invite one, and I texted my other coworkers to ask if they thought that was appropriate (to legitimately get a gut check). That’s when I found out she’d also invited another coworker.

One of the invited coworkers told her I was upset and that I felt it was inappropriate. So I was called to my great-grandboss’s office to “clear the air.”

The meeting determined that she’s allowed to invite some of her direct reports to her house for a party and not all of them. Out of four employees, she invited two and excluded two, and my leadership thinks that’s fine and said we can’t do anything about it because it’s a private event.

Further, my boss stated that I was causing toxicity by asking my coworkers about this. So: the supervisor who is showing favoritism isn’t causing the toxic environment, but the employee who asks about it is? Is this as nuts as I think it is?

Yes, this is wildly off-base. You are right and they are wrong.

Managers have a professional obligation not to show obvious social favoritism, like by inviting half their employees to a party at their house and excluding the others (also by not vacationing with an employee, dating an employee, having sleepovers with an employee, and on and on). People who don’t want that restriction on their social relationships at work shouldn’t accept management roles.

Your employer is 100% wrong that they can’t do anything about it because it’s a private event; they have the authority and the standing to tell a manager in their employ that she cannot show this sort of favoritism and still remain a manager there. The fact that they’re unwilling to is deeply problematic … and the fact that they’re blaming you for raising it is even more so.

3. Therapists and work advice

I, like many professionals, suffer from a mental illness. It’s well controlled with medication and therapy. Still, tough times at work exacerbate it, and I have often found myself discussing work issues with my therapist.

I’m sure the work advice my past therapists have given is what they think will be best for my mental health … but I’m not sure they’ve always understood the professional ramifications of their recommendations. It sucks to say it, but sometimes a temporary, limited sacrifice in one area of life (like a mild knock to my mental health during a stint with a bad boss or company) might set me up for long-term benefits that are worth it to me (a stable, decently paid, and fulfilling career path). It might make me feel better to pour my heart out to my boss and coworkers when I’m struggling — until I got fired for crossing professional boundaries! Then I would feel a lot worse than before. I would rather understand the trade-offs up-front so I can own the outcome, whatever I choose.

It’s awesome that we’re seeing a societal shift away from stigmatizing mental illness and are more willing to believe someone struggling with mental health can be a productive, even high-performing employee. But sometimes I worry that many therapists don’t fully understand that 1) that shift still hasn’t reached a lot of people, 2) some people will exploit any sign of “weakness” to get ahead, and 3) the contractual relationships and power dynamics in a business environment mean that you can’t or shouldn’t deal with your colleagues the way you should with your friends and loved ones. I wonder if therapists themselves have a unique working environment that might color their responses.

I’m not suggesting people shouldn’t seek out therapy if they need it! It’s been a huge help in my life. But are there common pieces of work advice that you hear from some therapists that you wish came with a few more your-mileage-may-vary qualifiers?

Oh yes. Some therapists give advice for handling things at work that might be great in non-work relationships without accounting for the dynamics in professional ones (and which in some cases could cause real professional harm). That’s not true of all therapists by any means, but when it does happen, the two big categories seem to be: (1) trying to destigmatize mental health issues without accounting for the level of medical privacy that’s appropriate at work, or not accounting for the reality that sharing mental health challenges can have professional ramifications (it shouldn’t! but it still does, far too often) and (2) not fully understanding the power dynamics and political realities of many workplaces, possibly because their own work environments are very different from the ones their patients are in.

Some examples that comes to mind from letters here: the therapist who told a patient to start highlighting issues with their work that their boss wasn’t concerned about in order to “break the silence” around imposter syndrome (including things like responding to being called a “perfect employee” with “I don’t feel perfect because of the issue with my work from last Thursday”). In the comments on that letter, we also heard about a therapist who “suggested simple conversations without acknowledging that politics could exist and those conversations weren’t as simple as she maintained” … and someone else reported, “It’s nice that my therapist thinks I so special that my employer should let me work three days a week if I want to, but she has no idea whether it’s a reasonable request.” Those are pretty typical of what we hear about when we hear about bad work advice from therapists.

4. Contacting a hiring manager directly to get around an automated requirement

My stepdaughter will finish her master’s program in December and is currently applying to full-time jobs for once she graduates. However, she’s been blocked from applying to her “dream job” and wants to contact a manager in the company directly in order to avoid using their hiring portal.

Here’s what happened: earlier this year, she applied to an internship with Big Multinational Company and had to take a logic test as part of their application process. However, she failed the logic test. When she tried to reapply and attempt the test again, she received an automated message that because she failed the test, she cannot reapply for any roles with them for 12 months. Now, after a successful internship with a different company, she’s found a full-time role that she would be perfect for with BMC — but her application was blocked, again, due to the failed logic test.

She considers that she’s gained significant new knowledge and experience from her current internship, so she deserves another chance. She found the hiring manager for her dream role at BMC on LinkedIn and wants to send a direct message in order to get around the block that’s been put on her applications on their job portal.

I think this is a terrible idea, but my husband (her dad) says she should do it because she has nothing to lose, so why not try? She’s in a big, generic field, so it’s probably unlikely that “word will get around” or anything like that. I feel confident that this won’t work, but it’s true that I can’t really think of any negative consequences. What should she do?

She can certainly try. If she’s a really strong candidate otherwise, the hiring manager might be willing to consider her — and hiring managers often have the ability to bypass some hiring portal requirements for a candidate they really want (although not always, and it’s less likely at a big multinational company). If she’s not an unusually strong candidate, though, it’s very unlikely that the hiring manager would do that … and they’re definitely not going to do it just because she’s had an internship since originally taking the test. (Presumably most people who failed the test have other work experiences afterward too, and that doesn’t get the 12-month wait waived.)

Either way, her dad is right that she has nothing to lose by trying it so she might as well if she feels strongly about it.

Someone should, however, try to steer her away from the “deserves another chance” thinking — which isn’t really a thing in hiring — as well as the whole idea of a dream job.