Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should promotions be based on seniority?

I am currently in a department where a woman who was hired five months ago is already outperforming the rest of the team and has shown such efficiency that she’s getting special projects to do. It has been overheard that a supervisor position will be created by the directors and, because she needs to promote internally, the manager informed the directors she would like to put this woman in the position because she is the best qualified and has the most potential. I heard a few coworkers complaining that, while everyone on the team likes this woman and values her knowledge, attitude, and professionalism, several other women should be offered the position first because they have seniority, are older, would be respected more (she is 27), and they have expressed interest in a supervisory position, whereas this woman has never mentioned the desire to advance.

While I like them personally, I feel that many would make less than stellar supervisors because of their temperamental manner in answering team members’ questions, their tendencies to shirk responsibility, and their inability to follow through and meet deadlines. (The newer woman and another coworker were supposed to be training our two new employees, and the woman ended up training both employees by herself due to the team member coincidentally going ghost.) I believe the manager respects her because of her keen knowledge and understanding of concepts in our field, which is much better than anyone else on our team; her ability to collect monies the rest of us would miss; and her willingness to stop anything she’s working on to answer anyone’s question with no irritation towards anyone. Do you feel seniority should play a part when promoting internally? Is it fair to pass her for this promotion because she is new to the company?

People shouldn’t be entitled to promotions just because been there longer. Promotions should be made based on who would do the best job in the position. If two candidates are equally strong, then sure, it can make sense to look at seniority. But when the newer person is clearly stronger, it doesn’t make sense to promote a weak candidate instead just because the weaker candidate has been there longer.

That said, any internal candidate who’s interested in the role should be allowed to apply for it. If the rest of your team feels that someone was simply anointed as the new supervisor without giving anyone else being genuinely considered, it’s going to be a recipe for resentment. So your managers would do well to make the process reasonably open and transparent.

2. My manager keeps putting off the schedule change I was promised

I work for a community mental health agency with approximately 400 employees. My position is as a clinician on a child psychiatric crisis unit, and I love what I do. What I don’t love is my schedule. I’m the night and weekend person, as such a facility needs 24 hour coverage. When I was hired 9 months ago, I was told that I could transition to weekdays “quickly,” as there is fairly high turnover. But when I remind my boss of my desire for a traditional schedule, she says she’s working on it and drops the subject.

Just FYI, I get good performance reviews and I’m also cross trained for another department with 3 openings. It wouldn’t be a huge deal, but I’m a single mom of a toddler and my daughter is developing more cognitively everyday. She has 2 great babysitters, but I want her in a structured day care with a curriculum to maximize her growing mind and skills. I can’t afford both her babysitters and daycare, and there is no daycare where I am that operates nights and weekends.

There are numerous open positions at my agency. When I asked HR about applying for an open position, they gave me a form that I need my supervisor to sign in order to be permitted to apply for any of the current open positions. That seems like a bad idea in so many ways. First, I’m pretty confident my supervisor would be unhappy and limit my opportunities for training as well as deny requested time off. Second, all the open positions are on different campuses, so I have no idea if they are actively looking to fill the position, nor do I know the supervisors so I can’t informally feel out the situation. So to risk my manager’s ire and possibly being forced out of my position, without even the promise of an interview, seems unwise. Will I need to apply outside my agency to get a schedule that works? What are your thoughts?

I wouldn’t apply for a transfer from a job you love until you’re sure you can’t get the schedule you want. That means not just “reminding” your boss that you want a different schedule, but tackling it more assertively. I’d say something like this: “When I was hired, we thought I’d be able to move to a more traditional schedule quickly. My daughter is reaching the age where I need to put her in daycare, so it’s becoming more pressing. Is it possible to figure out a more definite timeline for making the change so that I can plan for it?” (And no, you shouldn’t have to cite your child care situation, but it’s useful when you’re pushing your manager for something to explain why you’re pushing for it.)

If she puts you off again, at that point I’d say, “I really love my job here, but knowing that I do need a different schedule, would you object to me looking at other openings in the agency if we’re not able to switch my hours in the next couple of months?”

3. What’s the best tone for a written response to a negative performance review?

My boyfriend has found himself in a difficult situation, and I am not sure how to help him. He recently had his performance review and it went very poorly. His manager had almost entirely negative criticisms of failure to meet goals (some legitimate, some not) and no positive comments. At this point, we are sure he is going to put on a performance improvement plan. He is currently finishing his paperwork for the review and has written a three-page response documenting all his disagreements and issues with the review. I read it and it is inappropriate and emotional and unprofessional. Although I am sympathetic to how much this sucks, I don’t want him to burn his bridges. He is stubborn and won’t be able to let this go without responding, but I want to help him respond in the most professional and mature way possible. Can you give me any advice on how he should respond in these comments?

Yeah, emotional is not the way to go here. Point out to your boyfriend that the response he wrote might feel satisfying, but it’s not as likely to get him the outcome he wants, and the outcome is the most important thing here. His response is going to be far more credible if it’s calm, sticks to the facts, and acknowledges any legitimate points his manager made.

Suggest that he think of the report an outside observer trying to solve the problems would write about the situation, and use that tone himself. Otherwise, any legitimate points he’s making are likely to be lost.

4. What’s the best way to confirm an upcoming informational interview?

I have an informational interview coming up next week, which was booked a month ago. We had communicated and set up the meeting time via email, and the last I’ve heard from her was a month ago when we agreed to and finalized the meeting place and time.

Because it was booked quite awhile ago and I’m semi-paranoid she’d have forgot about the meeting by now, I was wondering if it would be appropriate to share my personal calendar by including her in the time slot (where you insert all attendees’ emails, and they get something in their mailbox where you can accept or decline the meeting)? I hope this sends the message of “hey! remember me and our upcoming meeting?” (even though I might have seem more organized by inviting her shortly after it was arranged). I’ve had shared calendars for other informational interviews, but they were booked within the week, and they were initiated by the other party.

You’re over-complicating it; there’s no need for any calendar business. Just send her an email that says, “Just want to confirm our meeting this Thursday at 2 p.m. at Teas Unlimited. I’m looking forward to it!” Then, assume it’s on unless she replies back and tells you otherwise.

5. Is my boyfriend’s accountant crossing professional boundaries with him?

I am in a relationship with a very wealthy oil man. About the time I got involved with him, he hired a woman to take over his accounting in his office that he visits infrequently (maybe 10 times per year). Soon after her hire, she became flirtatious with him, professing her adoration of him and her new job. I understood how she would be grateful; she has a wonderful opportunity in a town where there is not much. She sent him a valentine saying she “loves” her boss, then about 6 months later asked him to help her buy a house, then sent flowers and a flirty note on “Bosses Day.” She also sends him notes on the weekends about the weather, etc.

I’m not generally jealous, but it just seems inappropriate. She is doing a good job at work though and getting better at it. I don’t know, but it is annoying and I would be more accepting of it if she were a female friend vs. an employee. I think my own boss is fantastic and we have both expressed mutual support, and respect. But we do not exchange cards of any type.

Is it appropriate to give your boss a valentine telling him you love him? Should you ask your boss to help you buy a house? (By the way, the woman is married with a semi-adult child; shouldn’t she be turning to her husband or at least including him in such a request?) What is this Bosses Day? I live in California and never heard of it.

No, it is not appropriate to give your boss a valentine or tell him that you love him. Nor is it a good idea to ask your boss to help you buy a house. Bosses Day is a recently made-up fake holiday that exists to sell cards.

But you don’t have any reason to be jealous, unless your boyfriend is returning his accountant’s flirtatious and inappropriate behavior. He’s the one whose behavior is relevant to you, not hers. Assuming this is a one-sided flirtation and he’s committed to you, jealousy shouldn’t come into play. (If it’s not one-sided and/or he’s not committed to you, then you’ve got bigger issues that are about him, not his accountant.)

However, from a good-management and sensible-person standpoint, your boyfriend should certainly (a) consider whether he has inadvertently signaled that this behavior would be welcome, and (b) figure out how to create better professional boundaries with her. But that’s really a management issue for him to resolve as part of his workplace dealings; absent some sign that he’s relating inappropriately to her, it should be a non-issue for you (or at least as much of a non-issue as any other management problem on his side would be).

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I think I’m in the wrong career

I have 2 degrees in applied economics; statistical analysis of economic data, effectively. I aimlessly chose this major; it led me to a master’s and I actually started the PhD program, but dropped because I was burned out.
I’ve now applied to 4 positions (probably the 4 I’ve wanted the most) and made stupid, careless mistakes in my cover letters. I’ve addressed them as soon as I noticed, but, honestly, I’m worn out. I don’t even try to say “this is so out of character for me!” because really, it’s not. I write emails at work and forget to include attachments; I notice data entry errors after I was certain I’d taken steps to prevent them (I end up writing a lot of Excel macros to do things for me because I don’t trust myself to not make those mistakes). I have been trained to be detail-oriented, but it’s not natural for me, and so I’m wondering how in the world I got as far as I did (and I think the answer is that academia is a bubble). I’m 25 and I’m concerned the past 5 years have been setting me up for a career I really am not that great at.

I’ve read your posts on how to figure out what you want to do. The difference is, I have a specific skillset and specialized experience. My current job, data monkey with terrible management and horrible culture, feels like it is sucking the life out of me, but how am I supposed to leave if I’m really not as qualified for other jobs as it seems I should be?

You are 25. You are barely at the beginning of your career. It is far, far away from being too late to change careers. You aren’t locked into this one just because that’s the academic path you took. You can do something else. Figure out what that might be, and what the path there would look like, and then start putting yourself on that path.

You have multiple decades of work ahead of you. It would be crazy to consign yourself to decades of misery just because you’re a couple of years down the road on the wrong path.

2. Hiring manager told me he’d call if his new hire doesn’t work out

I had 2 interviews for a job. There were 5 of us and 2 of us were asked back, me being one of them. The decision was supposed to be made after our 2 interviews. I was called on the phone to say I did not get the job. I was told that a last minute resume came in after my last interview and that person had industry experience that I did not have, and that was why I was not chosen. He made it clear that was the only reason and overall I was great and was a close second. Ok, not happy I didn’t get the job, but that happens and I get the reasoning.

The manager then said this: “She will be on 90-day probationary period and if she doesn’t work out I will call you.” I said OK of course, but I was a little taken off guard as I wasn’t sure what to say. “Um, ok I hope she sucks”(because then I will get the job)? Or, “Do you expect her for fail?” Obviously I did not say either one. I almost felt he was unsure of the decision to hire her. Or maybe he was told to hire her?

I am not counting on him calling. I already had a resume out for another company sent out before the rejection. But I am curious on why someone would say that. Just say, “Thanks but we chose someone else.” And maybe the usual “we will keep your resume on file and call if we feel you are a good fit for another position” (or whatever). But why so specific with me about a possible failure of the new hire? If she didn’t work out, he could just have easily called at that point and discuss the position again.

Because hiring managers, even good ones, are human — and therefore are sometimes awkward and word things poorly. But job seekers tend to forget that and instead parse every statement hiring managers make, putting far more weight and scrutiny on their words than the average person’s words could ever hold up under.

This manager probably just wanted to emphasize that you were really were the second choice, because it’s human to feel bad when someone you came close to hiring ends up not getting the job. Or he’s had new hires not work out before, and so it’s on his mind that he might have a back-up if that happens. Move on, and don’t spend any more time thinking about it.

3. I’m being laid off and my boss wants to know how I do my job

My boss informed me that my position will be eliminated on Feb 14. Then she asked me to document everything I do, and how I do each task. Nothing else will change, but they are laying me off, even though I am the only person knows how to do certain things. What are my options? Can I tell her no, I am not going to tell her of how to do my job?

I mean, you can; there’s no law requiring you to do what she’s asking. But there are consequences to refusing, like a bad reference, probably no severance, a really poor reputation among people who hear about it, and just generally looking silly. It’s not a good idea. You’re better off being professional and pleasant and giving her the information she wants — and negotiating a severance payout if you haven’t already done that.

4. I’m thinking of reporting my former employers for child abuse

Would you consider it child abuse if your former employers, who are both licensed doctors, brought their 2 children to work and left them in the break room all day by themselves to watch TV and play video games. One is 4 and has a degenerative bone disease and can’t walk, and the other is 9. This happens frequently and on one day, both of the doctors left for lunch and just left both of the kids in the break room. They didn’t ask us if it was ok to leave them; they said nothing at all. The youngest boy is in his own motorized chair. I was appalled, and their lack of supervision of these two boys drives me crazy. I believe this to be very unprofessional and I am considering calling someone in our state and filing an abuse case.

In general, no, leaving kids in a break room to watch TV and play video games is not typically considered child abuse. It might be bad parenting if it’s happening a lot, and it might be a bad business practice, but both those things are different from abuse.

Whether it’s more of a concern because of the younger boy’s medical condition is something I can’t say from here, but if you’re concerned, I’d start by calling Childhelp (1-800-4-A-CHILD). They can ask you questions, assess the situation, and figure out what your next step should be.

5. Will I hurt my chances of a promotion later if I don’t apply for one now?

I was recently passed over for a position at my organization, but wasn’t too upset as they hired a more experienced candidate. Another position (same level, salary, etc) has been posted, but I’m not sure I want to apply as it’s in a different location. The position is managerial and requires the candidate to run that location.

Despite these jobs being the same on the surface, I don’t feel I’m the right person for this other location (I don’t know if I can offer what this location needs). I could apply and go through the whole interview process again, but if I know this particular job isn’t right for me and I’d likely be unhappy in it, am I wasting the organization’s time if I apply, or am I hurting my chances of future opportunities later by not applying? Does it look bad that I felt one job was right for me and the other isn’t even though they’re essentially the same?

If you’re sure you don’t want the job, you shouldn’t apply for it. If you’re asked about it (and you might not be), you can simply explain that you’re not sure you want to move to the new location.

You shouldn’t be hurt by not applying for it at all. If anything, you’d risk hurting yourself by applying for the promotion and then turning it down, since with internal positions, there’s more of an assumption that if you’re going through the whole interview process, you’re going to accept the position unless there’s some real obstacle around pay, goals for the position, or another substantive issue.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should a receptionist tell callers when someone is out sick?

I’m a receptionist. If a salesperson is out sick, I tell the caller that the person is “out of the office” (and offer another salesperson, etc.), and that satisfies most callers. There are those occasional customers who then ask if the person will be back tomorrow, and I really don’t know; I don’t know if they will be all healed up overnight or not. In this case, I say I don’t know (and offer them another salesperson, etc., insert niceties here), but it seems weird sometimes based on the caller’s reaction, like they want an explanation. It just also seems weird to let customers know that an employee is sick; it seems like a private thing to me.

This is really context-specific. There are many offices where “she’s out today” would be the only information released, but there are plenty where “she’s out sick today” is a normal thing to say. In the second group, it can sometimes be in people’s interest to say it — because it explains why the absence might have been sudden (useful in cases where a clients would have otherwise expected to be notified someone would be unavailable) and it explains why you can’t say for sure if the person will be back tomorrow.

In any case, since you’re unsure, I’d ask your manager how she prefers you to do it — or ask the individual people whose calls you screen. Different people may have different preferences.

2. I’m an attorney who wants to be a paralegal

I am a barred attorney with bipolar disorder, which has deeply affected my life over the last few years. I am now stable, but no longer wish to practice law because the stress of appearing in court and constant arguing makes it difficult to handle my condition. I recently moved to another state and am looking for a job in the legal field, but not as an attorney. My license is in good standing and I have never had an ethics complaint or malpractice claim against me.

I have been applying for higher level paralegal positions, which I believe I have the skills for and in which people with a law degree often thrive when they do not want to do traditional attorney work. I have only gotten a few interviews, unfortunately, and I know it is because I am being viewed as overqualified. I do not expect attorney-level pay and understand that working as a paralegal is different from working as an attorney, although the jobs do overlap somewhat. I try to address this the best I can in my cover letter.

My question involves how to address why I am not applying by motion for the bar in the new state I am living in, which would allow me to practice here, both in interviews and when applying for jobs. The truth is, I do not apply because of my history of bipolar disorder, which I would have to disclose on my bar application and would most likely disqualify me from admission in the background check (I was grilled heavily about this in my home state when I applied there, years before I had an escalation of the condition).

I don’t want to get into my medical condition with any potential employer because there is still a stigma against mental illness when it comes to many employers, especially in the legal field. I know that chances are I would be automatically rejected by any potential employer who found out about it. However, I worry that I come across as shady when I try to answer vaguely about this (i.e. wanting a better quality of life,etc.) I still have the legal skills, endurance and creativity needed for the field, but am at a loss as how to address why it is I no longer practice.

So many lawyers have found after they started practicing law that they aren’t actually thrilled with the career choice they made that I think you could have a compelling answer that loads of lawyers would relate to. I’d identify the less pleasant aspects of being a lawyer that don’t overlap with paralegal work, and focus your answer on those. Maybe it’s the hours, or having to spend time on X, or so forth. Then your answer could sound like, “I love legal research and writing, but I realized I dislike __ and __, and I’ve figured out that being a paralegal work lets me do what I loved about being a lawyer and am good at, without the other parts.”

If you say it with confidence, I don’t think this answer is going to be an issue for people.

3. Explaining consulting work on a resume

I moved across the country several months ago (for my partner’s career). Since then, I have continued to work for my employer remotely to help transition my projects, but that arrangement will be ending soon. Meanwhile, through other contacts, I’ve been able to pick up a couple of contracts for various pieces of work (e.g. writing projects). Once I’m no longer an employee of my company, how should I reflect my work status on my resume? Could I list my current job as “independent consultant,” even though I’m not really set up as one and I’m searching for a full-time position? If so, should I limit the description to the type of work I’ve actually been doing, or is it okay to list other things I could potentially do as a consultant? I don’t want it to look like I’m unemployed, but I’m unsure how to reflect my situation in a clear and accurate manner.

It’s fine to list your current work as “consultant” (I’d leave off “independent”; it’s unnecessary). However, you should only list consulting work you’ve actually done, not things you could do — since employers will assume it’s the former and it’ll look a little deceptive if they find it talking to you that it’s the latter. In other words, treat it like any other job you list on your resume and stick to what you’ve actually done.

4. Is this interview a consolation prize?

I interviewed at a library for a position that was 11 hours a week. I did not get the job. They decided to go with someone who they had interviewed several times before. They did, however, grant me an interview for a job that I had previously applied for. This job has more hours and is actually the one I was more interested in. My question is, did they grant me the interview because they liked me or is this just a consolation prize? The fact that the interview is for a better position makes me nervous.

It’s pretty unlikely that they’re going to spend time interviewing you a second time just to soften the pain of rejecting you; employers reject people all the time and are used to having to do it. I’d assume it’s a legitimate interview.

5. Periods on resumes

I am revising my resume, and for the most part, I am using bullet points with no periods at the end of each line. There are three instances where I wrote a full sentence when describing my accomplishments under bullet points. From what I’ve been reading, you should go all or nothing on the punctuation, but it looks stupid to leave a full sentence dangling with no period. What are your thoughts?

I agree with you — full sentences need periods. But resumes look weird when some bullet points end with periods and some don’t. If you don’t have any full sentences, you can pick either way (periods or no periods), as long as you’re consistent. But in your case, you do have some full sentences, so the no-period option is taken away. Thus, you must use periods at the end of all the bullet points, to be both correct and consistent.