Ask a Manager

It’s five short answers to five short questions. Here we go…

1. Is it odd to meet with a coworker in their home for four days of training?

My friend just came to me with a question we’d like you (and your readers) to weigh in on. The friend has a coworker hired 2 months ago, to work remotely from home. Friend has been mentoring the coworker from a distance by phone and email. Today, the friend’s manager asked friend to go to the new coworker’s home for four days for in-person mentoring. Friend would be staying in a hotel, but meeting with the coworker daily in his home (a set aside area).

What do you think of this and are there any advantages/disadvantages you can think of? If it makes a difference, we do have corporate locations near the new employee and the friend that they could meet in.

Yeah, it’s a little weird to spend the whole day in the person’s home. It’s likely to feel oddly intimate. That’s doubly true when there are easy alternatives. Why doesn’t your friend suggest that they make arrangements to work out of the nearby corporate location for those days?

2. When I ask for a raise, can I mention that I’m paying more for taxes and health insurance?

I’ve been at a private non-profit government admin-type corporation for 2 years. This is a close small work environment with little room for upward mobility. I was an intern prior to working here and after earning my masters degree I was hired back. I make a decent salary and great benefits, but nothing to get excited about. After my first year I received 2% COLA increase, then this year after mentioning “I’m prepared to ask for a raise,” I received a 2% COLA and 3% increase in pay.

This is where it gets tricky, because of outside factors: federal taxes, health care costs, etc., I taken notably less money in my paycheck each year, even after both raises. My review is coming up next week and I’m wondering if asking them to reconsider the increase in pay to cover the fact I’m taking in less money is justified?

You can mention it, but it shouldn’t be your sole reason for asking for a raise. It has to be in the context of you deserving a raise because of your outstanding performance. Otherwise, by your logic they’d need to give everyone raises across the board to keep up with taxes and health care changes, and while some companies do that, most don’t. Instead, I’d use this an almost side comment in the broader discussion about why you deserve a higher rate of pay.

3. My boss made subjective comments about me in my performance review

Today I had my performance review with my manager. He gave me the highest rating in the “Delivers Expectations” category. That’s great, but I wasn’t happy with some of his subjective comments in the review. My boss is aware of my desire to transition out of my current analytical role into a commercial position. So, in my review he wrote: “I would have liked to see as much enthusiasm for technical traning and development as she has shown for commercial job shadowing” and “I would prefer that she had more enthusiasm for lab developments and worked more closely with her lab partner but understand that she wishes to move to a more business-focused role. Should such an opportunity arise, she will be missed for her independant contributions to the analytical department.”

Later in the day, I approached him and expressed my concern about these comments. I told him that if this is supposed to be about my performance, what does my desire for a career transition have to do with anything? I did point out the positive things that I do like about the job, but I do have a right to want to progress my career.

He sent me the final copy, so he isn’t sure if the comments can be changed. We don’t even have an HR purson currently to talk to about this. I should have spoken up during the initial meeting.

I’d let this go, immediately. This is not something you should be battling over. It didn’t affect his ratings of your performance, and your manager is allowed to express opinions like this in your review. Trying to micromanage his commentary in this context will make you look like you’re missing the big picture and like you’re unclear on what is and isn’t reasonable for a manager to discuss in his commentary about your work and your role. Drop this, seriously.

4. I flew in for a rude 15-minute interview

Last week, I flew out to an interview for an assistant director position at a really wonderful organization and was really excited about it. They offered to reimburse me for my expenses, which made me think they were somewhat interested in me as a candidate.

However, when I got to the interview, things were not great. When I walked in the room and was introduced to the panel, they barely seemed interested at all, and I had to make the effort to shake everyone’s hand. They did not tell me about the job at all or ask me about myself and went right into reading 5 prepared questions off of a piece of paper. During this, no one would even make eye contact and the director did not speak to me until I asked her a direct question at the end of the interview. I’ve never had an interview like this. It took less than 15 minutes and when I left my confidence was zero.

I was really taken aback because I had driven four hours to the airport and flew three hours for less than 15 minutes. I do not know why they were willing to spend the money to fly me out if they were not even interested in me as a candidate. I know that I can never know what went on behind the scenes, but I feel quite confused about what happened.

When they call or email this week to tell me that I didn’t get the job, is it appropriate to ask for feedback? I would not be rude or bitter about it but I would like to know if I could have done something differently.

Sure, you can absolutely ask for feedback. An organization that interviews like this might not be the sort of organization to give feedback, but it’s entirely reasonable to ask.

As for what happened, one possibility is that it’s an overly bureaucratic organization with overly rigid hiring practices (it’s not unusual in government hiring, for instance, for them to be required to ask everyone the same questions and not deviate from their script — which is insane). Or they might simply be terrible at hiring. (They’re certainly inconsiderate; doing a 15-minute interview after someone flew out for an interview, even at the company’s expense, is rude.) Frankly, I wouldn’t even be so sure that they’re not going to offer you the job; employers who interview this badly can also be employers that hire people who they didn’t speak with for nearly long enough. Be prepared for how you want to handle that if it happens.

5. Asking a coworker to stop chewing ice

I’m writing to ask how I can ask a colleague to stop chew ice. We work in a small confined office and it’s annoying. I’ve tried politely saying “that ice is going to ruin your teeth”, she’s not getting the message. She replies “I’ve been doing this my whole life.” What do I do?

Yeah, you’ve framed it as concern for her, which allows her to assure you that it’s no problem for her. You need to be more direct and let her know that it’s a problem for you. Say something like this: “Jane, I don’t know, but the sound of ice being chewed is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Any way for you to resist it in the office?”

It’s five short answers to five short questions. Here we go…

1. Applying for a job with a company that shares office space with my current employer

I currently work for a company where we share an office/floor with another company that is one of our clients. I was recently asked by the other company’s CEO’s executive assistant to submit my resume for a position opening that is the same as my current position. Is it wrong to apply for this position since I would still see all my old coworkers/boss everyday? The thing is that although in title it is a lateral move, in all other ways, it’s moving up. The salary would be a 50% increase plus health benefits and 401k (which we don’t have). It would be a no brainer if it weren’t for the fact that I’m literally working in the same office.

You should go ahead and apply. If you end up in the other job, it shouldn’t be terribly awkward, as long as your boss isn’t someone who takes resignations personally. People make this kind of move all the time — maybe not within the same office, but certainly jumping to, for instance, a client of their previous company, which keeps them in regular contact with their old coworkers. People are generally going to be happy for you, unless you have a particularly dysfunctional manager.

2. My coworker told a customer I didn’t want to do part of my job

A different take on the question earlier in the week about driving a large vehicle for work:

I recently stepped down from being what my company calls a shuttle driver, which was a major part of my job. It was stressing me out and making my anxiety levels so high that after the new year, I became physically ill and missed 3 days of work in a row (this was last week). So, the reason I stepped down was because it was negatively affecting my health and was making me dread my job every morning. And to be completely honest, the coworker I talk about below was causing huge issues.

Today, a coworker (Jake) said something about me that I thought was unprofessional to a customer. We weren’t even open yet (it was 7:15 and we open at 7:30) and I was in the same room vacuuming when a customer walked in. I immediately stopped and greeted him, but I don’t think he heard me. The customer started talking to the service people, and I moved onto my other cleaning duties since there was a customer, and was in the in-office bathroom when I heard Jake and the customer talking. The customer asked if I was going to be giving him a ride, like usual, and Jake replied with “No, she’s not giving rides anymore, because she doesn’t want to.” First of all, the customer didn’t even ask why, just if. Secondly, I don’t think it’s anyone’s business of why I stepped down, and I’m certainly not okay with this rumor, especially not being spread to customers. Jake has been a problem before, but, whenever I complain to my boss about him being an unprofessional jerk, I’m told “That’s just the way Jake is,” and to “deal with it.”

Am I being too sensitive, or is this just unprofessional? I haven’t told my boss about this yet, because I wanted to see what you had to say about it. I also didn’t really know how to approach the subject without sounding like a crybaby.

It’s absolutely unprofessional, and it will make customers uncomfortable. I’d ask your manager to give people guidance on what to say to customers who ask why you’re no longer driving and/or to correct Jake himself if he’s the only one who needs to hear it. People should probably say something like, “Bob is driving the shuttle now” and if pressed for more information, “We reshuffled some roles, and Jane is no longer driving, but Bob is.”

3. My employer was ordered to pay overtime backpay, but I haven’t received it yet

I work at a small private university. For years, employees were working overtime and not getting paid. Someone eventually caught wind of this and the apparently the Labor Division in my state (NC) was contacted. We were emailed in early November to formally document all overtime in the past 3 years and the next week, sent to the CFO to sign off on the checks we were to receive. We saw the projected amounts of the check from the hours we had worked and everything. We were told we would get our checks “soon.” Some individuals had already received their additional checks for the overtime pay.

It’s now January, and there are no signs of this money and the university is struggling financially to the point they just told us they will furlough staff/faculty for spring break. Thankfully, I’m not in a position that I direly need the money and I’m wise enough not to count money before I have it, but it’s super shady! Especially being that some people have received their money and my department hasn’t. Should I just leave it alone?

If the state labor agency was on this, they should continue to be involved until you’re paid the money you’re owed, so I doubt that the university is just going to ignore this halfway through the process. That said, you could reach out to the state agency to ask about the timeline (and let them know that you haven’t received the backpay yet). Or you could ask whatever department at your university is most likely to know; it’s not an adversarial question when they’ve already made it clear that the money is coming. I’d just say something like, “In November, I was told to expect a check for $X in backpay. So I can plan, can you let me know when I should expect to receive it?”

4. How do I explain that I want to leave my job because they’re illegally firing people?

After 5 months at my new (and great!) job, I’m on the market again, but I don’t know how to phrase my reasons for leaving.

The situation in short: I work in Europe, in a company that is a subsidiary of a US company. A few days ago, we were told that 15 people (~20% of the local people) were being let go, effective immediately. The problem: there is a whole procedure that applies in cases like this (mandated by law) and the management in the US is completely ignoring it and trying to treat us as “at will” employees (there is no such concept in the local law). The second problem: the people being fired are all high performers and come from all layers of the company (so it’s not a matter of firing the highest earners, to save money), so the names seem to have been chosen at random. I have not been let go, but I no longer trust the company, given they are trying to do something illegal and they are firing people with no apparent reason, without considering how this will impact day to day operations. All the remaining employees are updating their resumes and the morale is at an all time low. How do I convey this in an interview without looking like I’m badmouthing the company?

“My company has started having significant layoffs, and I’m looking for a company with more stability.” There’s no reason to get into the legality issues since the layoffs alone are a reasonable explanation.

5. Job-searching when you’re pregnant and on bed rest

I’m currently pregnant with twins and on strict bed rest. I’ve been teleworking but was recently told they were cutting my position. I’ll have no job to go back to after my maternity leave. We had already budgeted for me to take three months of unpaid leave when the babies are born (my employer offers neither short-term disability nor paid leave), and it will be a hardship for us if I’m unemployed for very long after that.

My question is what kinds of job searching activities are useful for me to do now if I won’t be able to start at a new job until June at the earliest, and won’t be able to go to an in-person interview until May? Also, what, if anything, can I say to employers who are worried about how committed an employee with new twins at home might be? (The answer is I have no choice but to be very committed. I currently earn more than half our income.) I’ve already been reaching out to my network and have a few leads. Some jobs (mostly in the federal government) will be so slow moving in the hiring process that I feel fine applying now. Others, mostly in the private sector, may have long or short timelines. I don’t want someone to be frustrated that they wanted to interview me and I say “oh, hey, by the way, I can’t leave my house for another 5-6 months.” But I’d also like to start getting my name out there so I’m not starting from scratch in June (also, I have time on my hands now).

Since I’m no Marissa and therefore no one’s banging down my door to ask me to be CEO of a major tech company, any tips for the unemployed pregnant lady?

I’d start applying for jobs now. If you have to withdraw from some hiring processes because they need someone to start sooner than you can, that’s better than realizing in June that you started searching too late. And many will be on a slow-ish timeline that fits what you need.

If you’re invited for an in-person interview before you’re off bed rest but your sense is that your start date timeline isn’t out of sync with theirs, I’d say something like, “I’m currently on bed rest until X, although I’ll be absolutely fine after that. Would interviewing by phone or Skype be possible at this stage, with a plan for me to come to you in-person in May if there’s mutual interest?”