Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Employer offered me a job, but said I rubbed half the team the wrong way

I was recently told by email that I would be receiving a verbal offer, followed by a written offer. During the verbal offer call, the hiring manager volunteered interview feedback both critical and positive. The critical feedback was that half (!) the team who interviewed me were rubbed the wrong way by my “edge.” I thanked her for her candor and she said, “We can work on that one.” I expressed concern about whether this feedback would handicap me before I’ve even started to work for them.

I’m a bit perplexed about how to proceed. This information gives me some serious pause — regarding leadership style and office culture, namely. My expectation would be that this would be an opportune time to “white lie” to the candidate and express the team’s (albeit, democratically) enthusiasm for extending a job offer. I don’t know how this feedback benefits my work performance before I have even accepted an offer.

Yeah, that should give you serious pause, because it’s a sign that this place might not be a comfortable fit for you. And remember, the goal isn’t just to get a job offer; it’s to end up working somewhere where you’ll excel and be happy. I’m curious about how aligned you felt with their culture before that phone call; did these feel like your people, or were you already getting the sense that it might not be a perfect match?

In any case, as for what to do now … I wouldn’t take the job without getting a much better understanding of what the concern is and what “we can work on that one” means.

(Also, be grateful for employers who don’t indulge in “white lies” in the hiring stage; you want to know what you might be getting into. It’s the ones who sugarcoat who cause the real problems.)

2. Can an employer impose restrictions on when vacation days become available to employees?

If a salaried, non-exempt employee is granted 20 total vacation days per year, are there restrictions that an employer may impose as far as when and how many days are available throughout the year? We have a situation where the salaried employee has been on maternity leave since December, has depleted her 2013 vacation days, and now wants to use some of her 2014 allotment. My fear is paying vacation days before the employee has even reported back to work in 2014. It would seem logical that she is allotted the 20 vacation days spread incrementally over the year so as to not deplete in too short of a period (if she quits, the employer has paid vacation for the whole year!).

Yes, you can impose any restrictions you want. Typically companies don’t front-load all the year’s vacation days in January; rather, employees accrue them at a steady rate through the year. For instance, with 20 annual days, people might accrue 6 hours of leave with each paycheck (assuming you’re paid every two weeks). And typically people don’t accrue any PTO when they’re on unpaid leave.

3. My boss doesn’t want me including his telecommuting in an attendance report

I have a question and I think my dislike of this job in general is clouding my judgment. My office is a remote branch of a national company, and there’s one branch manager who’s my direct boss (I’m an admin). When I first started, I was told by HR to send them an attendance report with a record of everyone’s absences for the branch (including the manager). But he gets upset whenever I put that he’s out of office working from home. He only wants me to record when he’s actually out of town. I checked with HR, and they clarified the working from home format, but he still gets annoyed. I realize it doesn’t affect pay, but I’m uncomfortable recording something I see as inaccurate. He also implied that if I mark working from home, it means he didn’t actually work. (But seriously, I’m not sending value judgments of his week or writing that he was unproductive, just that he’s in the office or not). He comes in to the office significantly less than 40 hours so this is bound to come up soon. So, am I being a stickler? What should I do?

I agree with your boss that there’s no reason an attendance report needs to indicate when someone is working from home. Telecommuting is working, just as much as working in the office.

But are you saying that your HR department has specifically asked you to record when someone is working from home, including your manager? That’s bizarre and I can’t imagine why they need to know that. But in that case, you might send a clarifying message to HR saying something like, “Bob told me not to use the working-from-home category. I don’t feel comfortable overriding his instructions to me, but if it’s an issue on your end, it might make sense to work it out with him directly.”

4. Can I decline a job opportunity but recommend a friend?

I am a marketing major in the college of business at my school, and I have a friend who lives out of town who has been trying to get a job at a local bank so that she can move here. She has applied at every bank in town and hasn’t heard back from any of them. A couple of days ago, I was presenting an assignment in my Management class. I was passed a business card later that had a message on the back. It said I have great presentation skills, and that if I’m interested in a career in the banking world, I should email him. However, I still have a year before I graduate, and I have a summer internship that pays enough that I don’t have to work during school. So, I don’t really want the position. Would it be impolite to pass this person’s contact information on to my friend? Would it be impolite to bring her name up to him? I want to handle this as tactfully as possible.

No, that’s not impolite. However, to really help your friend, you should make the introduction yourself. Email the person who gave you his card and explain that you’re not currently looking for work but you can recommend a friend who’s great because of X, Y, and Z. Say she’ll be emailing him with her resume soon, and then make sure she does so. (Make sure that you can really vouch for her though; it will reflect on you if you recommend someone bad, or whose application materials will be a disaster. So you want to have some professional knowledge of your friend.)

5. My employer-affiliated doctors aren’t taking my pain seriously

I work for a large auto manufacturing plant in the U.S. I was injured on the job in October. I’m in constant pain and not sure how to proceed. Every time I go to medical to get treatment, I’m given painkillers, heating pads and a cortisone steroid shot and told to go back to work. The pain is getting worse. All recommended physicians work or are affiliated with the plant. What can I do?

Please see a doctor who isn’t affiliated with your workplace. You need an independent opinion from someone who isn’t any way beholden to your employer.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. How many interviews do employers conduct for one position?

I had an interview this morning, and towards the end, when we were going over the hiring timeline, the interviewer mentioned that they had to reschedule a bunch of interviews yesterday because of the weather and she had some more this week. I know these are vague terms, but it sounded like a lot of people. It got me curious — is there a ballpark number of candidates or percentage of applicants that hiring managers will interview for one position?

It varies by the position (and to some extent, by the manager and company). But for a straightforward position that the hiring manager knows she’s going to be able to fill pretty easily, interviewing three to five candidates in-person is pretty typical. For harder-to-fill positions, it can be fewer than that (when there are fewer strong candidates to pick from) or more than that (when a lot of candidates are good enough to make it through the initial screening but not well-matched enough to get an offer).

But that’s for in-person interviews. Smart managers will do phone interviews before those — usually 10-20 depending on the position, and again it can vary pretty widely based on the factors above.

And that’s for a single slot. If you’re planning to hire several people in the same role, you’d often want a larger pool of phone and in-person interviews.

2. Should I warn my manager that I plan to shave my head?

Next month, I will shaving my head as part of an initiative to raise money for cancer research, and I am seeking advice on how to navigate this with regard to the workplace.

For context, I’m female and work as an assistant to the managing director of a very small company and also complete occasional reception duties and administrative support to the office at large. I am a student, so I do this part-time during the semester, and full-time the rest of the year.

Is shaving my head something that I should be discussing with my boss beforehand or is it fine to go ahead and do? Is this something that a boss would even object to? Honestly, I have already decided to participate, regardless of my boss’s response. So, my concern is that if I “pretend” to ask permission, am turned down, and then do it anyway, that that would reflect more negatively on me than just showing up Lex Luthor-style. Do you have any advice?

Whether they’ll care or not will depend on the office. Some offices would care across the board, others would only care for public-facing positions like receptionist, and some wouldn’t care at all. Personally, I’d mention it beforehand so that you know if it’s going to be an issue or not — as in, “I want to let you know that I’m planning on shaving my head as part of a campaign to raise money for cancer research. I assume this is okay, but I didn’t want to just surprise you with it one day.”

If they have a problem with it, then you’ll hear that and be able to decide what to do (which includes the option of saying, “Since I’m committed to doing this, what’s the best way for us to proceed?”). But I think you’re better off knowing in advance if that’s the case.

3. My manager is bringing up my family commitments in my performance evaluation

I have a question about how far is too far when dragging family into things. One of my children was born with a severe birth defect and my wife stays home to care for 2 of our 3 kids. Since she’s often at appointments and therapies, I take our oldest son to pre-school, which is very close to my job. I arranged this with my manager, as it would make me 30 minutes late to work in the morning. The agreement was that I would work through lunch to make up the time, which I do. On my performance evaluation, my boss’ boss gave me a low mark for communication, writing “Personal obligations have kept x from interacting informally with his co-workers.” Is this too far?

In another instance, my son with the illness also caught the flu and spent days in the hospital. He was in considerable pain and discomfort. My job was having a large fundraiser on a Saturday and I got no sleep caring for my son the night before. Still, I showered and dressed at the hospital (at 5am), then drove an hour to the event. I worked very hard that day (for 9 hours), only to go home afterward to change and go back to the hospital. 2 weeks later, two of our directors called me into a meeting to discuss the event. I was told that several people gave negative reports about my “lack of energy and enthusiasm.” I apologized and explained the situation, noting that one of the directors knew about my situation. The answer I received was, “Well…perception is everything,” and they continued their criticism. Too far?

I don’t know, because I’m not there to see the stuff they’re commenting on. It’s possible that they’re being ridiculous, but it’s also possible that a reasonable manager would be concerned about the things they’ve raised. I don’t know which it is. But I do know that they’re telling you pretty clearly that this stuff is an issue for them. From there, you need to decide if it’s something that you can or want to change, and if not, whether you’re willing to live with it potentially holding you back there (or worse) or whether you’d be better off finding a job that looks on all of this differently.

Do keep in mind, though, that this isn’t about whether it’s fair for them to judge you on family commitments; it is fair for an employer to judge you on how present you seem at work. What’s at question here is just whether they’re applying that in a fashion that most employers would find unreasonable.

4. I don’t want my old coworker to be above me at my new company

After a decade at my current company, I applied for and was offered a job at another company in an industry I have always wanted to work in. The role is a two tier promotion with a generous compensation package. Now a colleague of mine, who I have been friends with for years, is thinking of applying as well. (This is a new team that has a lot of openings.) The issue I am having is that he would be applying to a role a tier above the one I just received.

We have both been in the industry the same amount of time, but I tried out multiple job paths during my time and he took the straighter narrower path. Therefore, he ended up at a higher position than I did at this point in our careers. I felt that this new job was a chance to bring myself back on par with my peers, even put me a little ahead of them. I don’t even know if he will get the job, but I can’t help feeling a bit deflated even though I should be proud of my ability to land this lucrative role.

Am I just being petty? Assuming he gets the job, the career person in me says I should put it aside, focus on my new role, impress the hell out of them and compete on my own merits while laying aside personal pride.

I don’t think you’re being petty, but I do think that you’re being … unproductive where your own interests are concerned. It’s always a little weird when a peer is suddenly above you, but there’s nothing you can do about it if it happens. Don’t waste the energy stewing over it; if it happens, it happens and you’ll adjust to it eventually. More importantly, you’re not in a race with this guy. You were happy with your new job before this happened, and you acknowledge that you took a path that means the job you got is an excellent leap forward for you. So why does this guy’s own, separate path matter? Keep your eyes on the path in front of you, and run your own race.

5. How to withdraw from a hiring process

I went for an interview today. After much consideration, I decided not to continue to be considered further. The problem is, I’m not sure if the company will ask me for a second round of interview or not. So, I assume it sounds pretty stupid to email and tell them I don’t want to be considered for the application, when they might not want to move me into the second round?

The manager did say she will arrange me to talk to someone from management when he returns, but nothing concrete about whether this will take place was mentioned. From her words, does that mean that I’ll move on to the next interview?

Also, how should I draft the letter about me not wanting to continue with the application. Should I include my reasons or can I just mentioned I don’t want to be further considered and thank them for their time? I feel very bad and guilty about rejecting them.

There’s no way to know if you’ll move on to the next interview or not, but it doesn’t matter. If you’re sure you’re not interested, email her now and withdraw, so that they don’t make decisions (like rejecting other candidates) on the assumption that you’re taking up a slot in their pool of finalists. Just email her and tell her that you appreciated the chance to talk but you’ve decided to pursue other opportunities and wish them the best of luck in filling the role.

And don’t feel guilty. Companies reject candidates all the time, and they’re used to candidates withdrawing or rejecting their offers too; it’s just business. It’s highly unlikely they’ll be thinking about it five minutes after receiving your email.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should promotions be based on seniority?

I am currently in a department where a woman who was hired five months ago is already outperforming the rest of the team and has shown such efficiency that she’s getting special projects to do. It has been overheard that a supervisor position will be created by the directors and, because she needs to promote internally, the manager informed the directors she would like to put this woman in the position because she is the best qualified and has the most potential. I heard a few coworkers complaining that, while everyone on the team likes this woman and values her knowledge, attitude, and professionalism, several other women should be offered the position first because they have seniority, are older, would be respected more (she is 27), and they have expressed interest in a supervisory position, whereas this woman has never mentioned the desire to advance.

While I like them personally, I feel that many would make less than stellar supervisors because of their temperamental manner in answering team members’ questions, their tendencies to shirk responsibility, and their inability to follow through and meet deadlines. (The newer woman and another coworker were supposed to be training our two new employees, and the woman ended up training both employees by herself due to the team member coincidentally going ghost.) I believe the manager respects her because of her keen knowledge and understanding of concepts in our field, which is much better than anyone else on our team; her ability to collect monies the rest of us would miss; and her willingness to stop anything she’s working on to answer anyone’s question with no irritation towards anyone. Do you feel seniority should play a part when promoting internally? Is it fair to pass her for this promotion because she is new to the company?

People shouldn’t be entitled to promotions just because been there longer. Promotions should be made based on who would do the best job in the position. If two candidates are equally strong, then sure, it can make sense to look at seniority. But when the newer person is clearly stronger, it doesn’t make sense to promote a weak candidate instead just because the weaker candidate has been there longer.

That said, any internal candidate who’s interested in the role should be allowed to apply for it. If the rest of your team feels that someone was simply anointed as the new supervisor without giving anyone else being genuinely considered, it’s going to be a recipe for resentment. So your managers would do well to make the process reasonably open and transparent.

2. My manager keeps putting off the schedule change I was promised

I work for a community mental health agency with approximately 400 employees. My position is as a clinician on a child psychiatric crisis unit, and I love what I do. What I don’t love is my schedule. I’m the night and weekend person, as such a facility needs 24 hour coverage. When I was hired 9 months ago, I was told that I could transition to weekdays “quickly,” as there is fairly high turnover. But when I remind my boss of my desire for a traditional schedule, she says she’s working on it and drops the subject.

Just FYI, I get good performance reviews and I’m also cross trained for another department with 3 openings. It wouldn’t be a huge deal, but I’m a single mom of a toddler and my daughter is developing more cognitively everyday. She has 2 great babysitters, but I want her in a structured day care with a curriculum to maximize her growing mind and skills. I can’t afford both her babysitters and daycare, and there is no daycare where I am that operates nights and weekends.

There are numerous open positions at my agency. When I asked HR about applying for an open position, they gave me a form that I need my supervisor to sign in order to be permitted to apply for any of the current open positions. That seems like a bad idea in so many ways. First, I’m pretty confident my supervisor would be unhappy and limit my opportunities for training as well as deny requested time off. Second, all the open positions are on different campuses, so I have no idea if they are actively looking to fill the position, nor do I know the supervisors so I can’t informally feel out the situation. So to risk my manager’s ire and possibly being forced out of my position, without even the promise of an interview, seems unwise. Will I need to apply outside my agency to get a schedule that works? What are your thoughts?

I wouldn’t apply for a transfer from a job you love until you’re sure you can’t get the schedule you want. That means not just “reminding” your boss that you want a different schedule, but tackling it more assertively. I’d say something like this: “When I was hired, we thought I’d be able to move to a more traditional schedule quickly. My daughter is reaching the age where I need to put her in daycare, so it’s becoming more pressing. Is it possible to figure out a more definite timeline for making the change so that I can plan for it?” (And no, you shouldn’t have to cite your child care situation, but it’s useful when you’re pushing your manager for something to explain why you’re pushing for it.)

If she puts you off again, at that point I’d say, “I really love my job here, but knowing that I do need a different schedule, would you object to me looking at other openings in the agency if we’re not able to switch my hours in the next couple of months?”

3. What’s the best tone for a written response to a negative performance review?

My boyfriend has found himself in a difficult situation, and I am not sure how to help him. He recently had his performance review and it went very poorly. His manager had almost entirely negative criticisms of failure to meet goals (some legitimate, some not) and no positive comments. At this point, we are sure he is going to put on a performance improvement plan. He is currently finishing his paperwork for the review and has written a three-page response documenting all his disagreements and issues with the review. I read it and it is inappropriate and emotional and unprofessional. Although I am sympathetic to how much this sucks, I don’t want him to burn his bridges. He is stubborn and won’t be able to let this go without responding, but I want to help him respond in the most professional and mature way possible. Can you give me any advice on how he should respond in these comments?

Yeah, emotional is not the way to go here. Point out to your boyfriend that the response he wrote might feel satisfying, but it’s not as likely to get him the outcome he wants, and the outcome is the most important thing here. His response is going to be far more credible if it’s calm, sticks to the facts, and acknowledges any legitimate points his manager made.

Suggest that he think of the report an outside observer trying to solve the problems would write about the situation, and use that tone himself. Otherwise, any legitimate points he’s making are likely to be lost.

4. What’s the best way to confirm an upcoming informational interview?

I have an informational interview coming up next week, which was booked a month ago. We had communicated and set up the meeting time via email, and the last I’ve heard from her was a month ago when we agreed to and finalized the meeting place and time.

Because it was booked quite awhile ago and I’m semi-paranoid she’d have forgot about the meeting by now, I was wondering if it would be appropriate to share my personal calendar by including her in the time slot (where you insert all attendees’ emails, and they get something in their mailbox where you can accept or decline the meeting)? I hope this sends the message of “hey! remember me and our upcoming meeting?” (even though I might have seem more organized by inviting her shortly after it was arranged). I’ve had shared calendars for other informational interviews, but they were booked within the week, and they were initiated by the other party.

You’re over-complicating it; there’s no need for any calendar business. Just send her an email that says, “Just want to confirm our meeting this Thursday at 2 p.m. at Teas Unlimited. I’m looking forward to it!” Then, assume it’s on unless she replies back and tells you otherwise.

5. Is my boyfriend’s accountant crossing professional boundaries with him?

I am in a relationship with a very wealthy oil man. About the time I got involved with him, he hired a woman to take over his accounting in his office that he visits infrequently (maybe 10 times per year). Soon after her hire, she became flirtatious with him, professing her adoration of him and her new job. I understood how she would be grateful; she has a wonderful opportunity in a town where there is not much. She sent him a valentine saying she “loves” her boss, then about 6 months later asked him to help her buy a house, then sent flowers and a flirty note on “Bosses Day.” She also sends him notes on the weekends about the weather, etc.

I’m not generally jealous, but it just seems inappropriate. She is doing a good job at work though and getting better at it. I don’t know, but it is annoying and I would be more accepting of it if she were a female friend vs. an employee. I think my own boss is fantastic and we have both expressed mutual support, and respect. But we do not exchange cards of any type.

Is it appropriate to give your boss a valentine telling him you love him? Should you ask your boss to help you buy a house? (By the way, the woman is married with a semi-adult child; shouldn’t she be turning to her husband or at least including him in such a request?) What is this Bosses Day? I live in California and never heard of it.

No, it is not appropriate to give your boss a valentine or tell him that you love him. Nor is it a good idea to ask your boss to help you buy a house. Bosses Day is a recently made-up fake holiday that exists to sell cards.

But you don’t have any reason to be jealous, unless your boyfriend is returning his accountant’s flirtatious and inappropriate behavior. He’s the one whose behavior is relevant to you, not hers. Assuming this is a one-sided flirtation and he’s committed to you, jealousy shouldn’t come into play. (If it’s not one-sided and/or he’s not committed to you, then you’ve got bigger issues that are about him, not his accountant.)

However, from a good-management and sensible-person standpoint, your boyfriend should certainly (a) consider whether he has inadvertently signaled that this behavior would be welcome, and (b) figure out how to create better professional boundaries with her. But that’s really a management issue for him to resolve as part of his workplace dealings; absent some sign that he’s relating inappropriately to her, it should be a non-issue for you (or at least as much of a non-issue as any other management problem on his side would be).