Ask a Manager

It’s five short answers to five short questions. Here we go…

1. What’s the etiquette of asking to extend interview travel?

I recently had a phone interview for a job across the country, and at the end, the interviewer mentioned he’d be asking HR to get in touch with me to arrange for an in-person interview. Assuming they pay for the travel, would it be acceptable to ask them to schedule flights so that I’m in the city for a few days extra, say for a weekend? (I’d arrange for my own accommodation and other expenses for any extra nights, of course.)

On one hand, it makes sense to me that they’d want me to have a chance to check out some of the city before taking a job that requires moving – for example, the interviewer gave me a list of reasons he loves the city. On the other, I certainly don’t want to come across like I’m asking them to fund my vacation! So – is this a done thing or a total no-no?

If it matters, I’m young, single, and in an industry where it’s fairly common to move for work.

Yes, this is definitely done. You’d make it clear that you’d pay for any additional costs that it might add, of course, and by framing it as wanting to get a sense of the city makes it clear that you’re not just looking for a free vacation. Usually people just say something like, “I’d like to take the chance to check out the city while I’m there since this would be a move for me. Could we book the return flight for Monday instead of Friday? I’ll handle my own accommodation for the extra nights, of course.”

2. When you have a bad connection on a phone interview

My husband had a phone interview a few days ago. The quality of the connection via the conference call software was very poor, and he could hardly hear the interviewers on the other end. (He’s pretty sure it was a problem with their system, as this issue has only arisen with this conference call, no other calls.) One option is to ask to retry the call, but you don’t want to come across as difficult or incapable with technology to an employer, and what if hanging up and dialing in again doesn’t improve things? The other option (trying your best to hear) seems quite dangerous and likely to backfire though! What do you suggest should be done in this situation?

When it’s a truly poor connection, it’s reasonable to say, “We seem to have a bad connection and I’m having difficult hearing. Could we try hanging up and redialing to see if that fixes it?” That doesn’t come across as difficult or technically inept; it comes across as a person who would like to hear! (After all, if a colleague made this request of you on a conference call, would you think anything of it? No, you would not.)

But if you try that and it doesn’t fix the problem, then you have to judge how much of an obstacle it is. If you can hear okay, just not optimally, you might choose to continue at that point. But if you can’t, you don’t really have much choice — you have to speak up and explain it and hope that they’ll suggest an alternative (which they should).

3. How can I convince my boss I don’t speak Spanish?

I work at a small nonprofit organization doing direct service work with families involved in child protection and/or department of corrections. I started this job about 4 months ago and I have been very happy with the work that I am doing. However, recently, my supervisor assigned me to a family that speaks only Spanish. My boss knows that I am half Hispanic and that I speak some Spanish, but I have been clear that I am not fluent and that I just don’t have the professional vocabulary I would need. Despite expressing my concerns, my supervisor has told me to move forward with this family anyway.

I am extremely worried that I will not be able to communicate effectively with this family and may even end up doing more harm than good. ( I have spoken with the county worker who referred the family, but I haven’t met with the family yet.) There is no one else in my program who speaks Spanish who they could be transferred to and an interpreter is not an option. As far as I know, none of my coworkers have been asked to work with non-English speakers. I even wonder if my supervisor believes me when I say that I am not fluent, due to my heritage and last name.

How can I explain that this really will not work for me without being brushed off again or risking being let go (since I am not yet past my 6 months probationary period)? Should they even be able to ask me to work with this family if I have made it clear that I don’t have the professional vocabulary necessary to do so? Do I need to think about filing some sort of complaint?

Go back to the county worker who referred the family, explain that you aren’t fluent in Spanish, and confirm that that will indeed be a huge problem (as it sounds like it will be). Then go back to your boss and say this: “I spoke with the county worker, who was very clear that this family needs to work with a fluent Spanish speaker and that I am not suitable for that. My Spanish vocabulary is minimal. The county worker and I agree that having me try to talk with them could do more harm than good.” If your boss continues to push it, you might explicitly say that you’re concerned that your heritage is misleading him about your language skills, but that you are no more equipped to speak Spanish than most of your coworkers.

If your boss doesn’t back off, it’s worth escalating this (see the advice here on how to do this) because of the discrimination issues that a reasonable person would have to suspect were in play.

Read an update to this letter here.

4. Explaining a preference to be based in one city over another when applying for a job

I received a request for an interview for a project management position I applied to recently. The company is headquartered in a large town in Iowa, but I want to be based in their satellite office in Chicago (real locations changed).The job description says, “This position is preferably based in Iowa but the successful candidate might be based in the Chicago office.”

How should I state my preference to be in Chicago? What would you consider valid reasons to want to be based in the satellite office besides simply not wanting to live in Iowa?

If you’re currently living in or near Chicago, that’s an obvious one. Otherwise, any kind of roots in Chicago (friends, family, having gone to school there, etc.). But absent there, it’s perfectly okay to simply state that your preference in Chicago; if asked about it, you can say that you prefer to be in a city or whatever else is true.

That said, be aware that their wording signals that their default is likely to be to place you in Iowa; you’ll want to approach it with an understanding of that, and an awareness of why that might be the case.

5. Manager wants six weeks notice of time-off requests

I just got hired for a job. I asked the day I filled out the paperwork how long I’d have to give notice to request a day off. I asked if two weeks would be okay. The manager laughed and said six weeks notice.

Is it just me or is that a little ridiculous? Two weeks is a courtesy thing. I never know ANYTHING that i’m doing six weeks ahead of time! Even doctor’s appointments; they’re usually a week or two ahead. How on earth is that fair? And how do you not inform a person of this before they get hired?

I understand that people book me for appointments (I am a wax specialist), but if I have a court date or ANY type of car trouble, how can I tell her six weeks ahead that I need to get my car fixed? If I knew how ridiculous that rule was, I wouldn’t have even taken the job! I am planning a vacation to California next month. I don’t have the dates officially set yet. I had to make up a week that i’d be gone and I don’t even know if those are the days I’ll be going. This is beyond stupid.

Does she mean six week notice for all time off, or just for something like a pre-planned vacation? If it’s for everything, including things like doctor’s appointments, then yes, that’s ridiculous. And it’s frustrating, because it’s hardly something you’d think to ask about before accepting an offer.

But is it possible that she doesn’t mean that you have to schedule sick days or car trouble in advance and that those are  handled when they come up? If she’s only taking about pre-planned vacations, it’s not totally unreasonable. (On the California thing, for instance, many workplaces would expect to you to provide more than a month’s notice that you were taking a week off, and especially in a job where they might be booking customer appointments that far out, so that part of it isn’t crazy.)

It’s five short answers to five short questions. Here we go…

1. Is it okay to send job correspondence from a smart phone?

Is it okay to send a post-interview thank-you note via your smart phone? I don’t mean sending one right after the interview but later when you have time but no laptop/desktop available. I know when I send emails on my phone, it shows that it was sent from my mobile. Is that considered tacky or inconsiderate?

I can’t imagine anyone rejecting a candidate over it, but I’d still wait and send it from your computer if you can. When you’re typing on a phone, you’re more likely to take shortcuts in your wording and to make typos (at least most people are), and if the message ends with some variation of “sent from my mobile,” you do potentially signal that you’re sending hiring-related communications on the fly rather than taking them more seriously. (That said, you can turn that message off on most phones.)

2. How should I handle a couples dinner with someone who has offered my husband a job?

My husband loves his job, but has been sought after from another company for years now, and recently they offered him a job he “cannot refuse.” He has considered taking the job, and they have asked my husband and I to dinner this Friday. It isn’t an interview; the job is in the bag if he wants it. The dinner is with the boss and his wife, and my husband and I.

My question is this: What questions should I ask? If he asks me questions like “what are your fears” in regards to my husband switching jobs, should I be brutally honest? My husband and I are totally on the fence with the decision. He has a good thing where he is now. But we see potential and a substantial pay raise if he moves. There are pros and cons on both sides. I want the option to stay open for him and I don’t want this door to close because of me. I understand proper dinner etiquette, I just need to know how to keep the conversation going in the right direction and what questions are good/not good, and what to stay away from. If the boss asks difficult questions that I don’t know how to answer, how to properly maneuver away from them, and so on.

I’d actually let your husband make the call on this. How does he want you to play it — being candid about your concerns, or being more circumspect? Personally, I’d be inclined to rely on responses like “I support Bob in whatever decision he makes” while agreeing in a general sense that it sounds like a great opportunity, but this is your husband’s job prospect and thus he should be the one calling the shots on this dinner. (Just like you’d want him to defer to your preferences if he were meeting your prospective boss.)

Other than that, the usual advice for any professional situation applies — stay away from politics, religion, sex, and other controversial topics. Be warm, but remember that these aren’t friends; they’re business associates, so different rules apply.

3. Can I ask my manager to tell coworkers not to talk to me about a death in the family?

One of my parents is very near the end of life. I am really uncomfortable displaying excess emotion in the workplace, and I know that right after my parent dies I will be unable to talk about it without crying. I also know that many of my coworkers will want to offer condolences face to face. They will be trying to help because they care, and I appreciate that. But by bringing it up in the workplace, they will be making me feel much worse. I just know that I will want to grieve at home and let work be work. Is it appropriate, when the time comes, to ask my manager to tell coworkers not to talk to me about it? I am dreading having that painful conversation over and over with well-meaning coworkers.

Absolutely you can. You can say something like, “Would you let everyone know that I would appreciate not being approached about my mom/dad? I’m grateful for everyone’s condolences, but it’s too raw for me to want to talk about and it will help me most to just be able to focus on work.”

I’m so sorry about your parent.

4. Bringing in chocolate when I visit my old office to talk about being re-hired

I am a junior engineer who has recently switched jobs. My first job started off as a co-op opportunity right out of school and they hired me as soon as it finished. I continued working there for one year. My relationship with my supervisor had been very good and he taught me a lot of things. He encouraged me to try other job opportunities and put me in contact with various other people who quickly showed me new positions. He also stressed that if I didn’t enjoy it, I could always come back.

About 3 months ago, I switched jobs, but I am not enjoying it for various reasons. I have stayed in brief contact with my former manager. I want to go back to my previous job. Is it wrong for me to request a meeting with him and bring a gift such as a basket of chocolates for the engineering staff? I think it would be very nice but I don’t want it to be weird.

Normally, there’s nothing at all wrong with a former coworker returning for a visit and bringing everyone food (in fact, there is something very right about it). But you would never, ever do that if you were going somewhere for an interview. And this visit is a little of both, so it’s a little weird. I guess I’d say that if you would bring the chocolates under purely social circumstances, and there’s no thought of using the chocolates to make everyone feel positively toward you and thus lay the groundwork for a return, then sure, wear your “former coworker” hat and bring in the candy. (It’s not like jobs are usually won through candy anyway; you just don’t want to look like the two are connected.)

5. Why would a phone interview and in-person interview be scheduled at the same time?

I’ve gotten pretty used to the phone-interview-then-in-person-interview process. I know that hiring managers utilize phone interviews to see if it’s even worth making time to interview someone in person, and I totally get that, but a few minutes ago, I was thrown a little: A hiring manager called to schedule a phone interview. As I was opening my calendar to set a time for the phone interview, she asked me when would be a good time for me to come into the office to interview and had me select a time for that, too.

I thought phone interviews were what determined whether an in-person interview would even happen – am I missing something here?

Maybe I should add that I just submitted an application yesterday afternoon and also that a friend kindly put in a good word for me.

That’s odd. Unless (a) the phone interview is with a different person than the in-person interview and they want both opinions, or (b) they’re giving you some initial information in the phone interview that will help you prepare for the in-person interview (including things like “we’d love for you to think about X and come prepared to discuss your thoughts on it when we meet in-person”). But otherwise, yes, the phone interview is generally used to help decide whether to bring you in for a more in-depth in-person interview.