Ask a Manager

It’s six short answers to six short questions. Here we go…

1. Giving your interviewer a thank-you note on your way out of the interview

My question is about handing thank-you cards to people immediately after interviewing with them (literally after shaking hands before you leave the office). My husband was told this was done a few years ago where he’s currently interviewing, and they were impressed with the originality. I personally think it’s strange. Can I please have your thoughts?

Yes, it’s strange. It makes it look perfunctory and not genuine (since you were planning to do it before you came in and it had nothing to do with the content of the meeting). It also negates one of the points of a thank-you note, which isn’t really to say thanks but to follow up on the conversation and reiterate that you’re still interested.

From the interviewer’s perspective, the thank-you note doesn’t just signal manners; more importantly, it signals interest. Interviewers want to know that the job candidate went home, thought about what was talked about, digested it all, and concluded that they’re still enthusiastic about the position. That’s what getting a thank-you note conveys — as long as enough time has passed for that to be realistic.

2. Is an employer required to respond to inquiries from an employee’s creditors and collection agencies?

Is an employer legally bound to verify employment for collection agencies, an employee’s creditors, etc.? Previously when a creditor or other telephones, I would ask them to fax the request to me, inform the employee of the interest, then respond to the request. I currently have an employee who is having financial issues – one creditor is calling monthly for her employment status and another would like information in order to garnish her wages.

If they the creditor has a court order, you must comply with that. But otherwise, to the best of my knowledge, there’s no law requiring you to respond to them. You can also tell them to stop calling your workplace, and they must comply with that.

3. Offer was withdrawn and then reinstated

After applying to a job posting online and going through two rounds of interviews with both the director and VP of the department, I was made an offer, which I subsequently accepted. The entire process of applying, interviewing, and being made an offer took around seven weeks.

After formally accepting and signing the offer, I received an email from HR not long after saying the offer was withdrawn because the job was now closed due to unforeseen internal circumstances. I then contacted the hiring manager about what had happened, who told me that he didn’t have all the details at the present time as he was away from the company on business and he apologized over what had happened. He promised he would due his best to sort the issues out and also assured me that it had nothing to do with me since they wanted me for the job.

The day he returned to work, I received an email from him saying that the job was in fact reinstated and was sent a formal email from HR saying to disregard what had previously happened and the job was back on and mine. What do you make of all this? I know that things like this could happen in the workplace but should I be worried? Should I take this as a red flag?

Find out what happened first. Before you accept, call up the hiring manager and say something like, “I’m interested in moving forward with the offer, but I’m concerned about what happened earlier. Can you shed any light on why it was withdrawn previously?” Depending on his answer, you might also ask, “Is there any chance that the job might be frozen again?” But hear what he has to say before you make up your mind.

4. Contributing to a gift for a (not always thoughtful) boss

I work for a very large organization that has had so many cutbacks in the past five years. Some of these cuts include head count, benefits and the year-end holiday party and gift. The past two years, our sales team has gotten a gift for our boss, costing each of us $25. In return, we have gotten an email thank-you in late January or early February. In prior years, our boss had given us a gift in the form of alcohol (wine). There are two people on the team who do not drink, so in my opinion this is a thoughtless gift.

Just this week, one of the team members sent out an email stating she would again be collecting $25 for our boss’s year-end gift. Since we are salespeople and our efforts contribute to her income, to me it feels wrong that we are giving her a gift at the end of the year when it almost goes unnoticed. What is proper? Should employees give their employer a gift?

No. Gifts in the workplace should flow downward (your manager to you), not upward (you to your manager). And that would be the case even if your boss thanked you for the gift more quickly, or if she were more thoughtful with her own gifts to your team, or if the organization hadn’t been making cut-backs. Email your coworkers and say, “I’ve been reading that etiquette says that employees shouldn’t give gifts upward, so I suggest that we skip the collection this year and perhaps just give Jane a card.”

5. Using the F-word at work

Is using the f word sexual harassment or harassment of any kind? My son recently started a new job and another employee used the f word several times at him angerly. He said it in front of people and made my son very uncomfortable. How should my son handle this?

Did he use it at him or in front of him? If just around him but not about him, your son probably needs to let it go; people do use profanity in the workplace. But if he used it at him (like “F you” or “you’re a F’ing jerk”), then your son should tell his coworker that he doesn’t want to be sworn at. If the problem continues and your son is sufficiently bothered by it to talk to a manager, that would be his next option.

But no, the mere use of the word is not sexual harassment.

6. Answering “where do you see yourself in five years?” when I want to retire

I have an interview this week for what is hopefully the last interview I need to do in my career. I’m taking a step down career-wise and think this job will be easier to sustain and possibly enjoy for the last three years that I need to work before I retire. What do you suggest I say when they ask “where do you see yourself in five years”? Probably shouldn’t tell them “happily retired.”

You can honestly say that at this point in your career you’re not looking for additional advancement and that you’re really just looking for a position with (fill in what appeals to you about this role). They probably won’t press you and say, “but what about in five years?” but if they do, it’s fine to say, “To be honest, I don’t know. I can tell you that I’d like to stay in my next job for at least the next three years, as long as it’s a good fit.”

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. My mom called my employer to get my schedule

My mom decided to take it into her own hands to find out my schedule for the week, so she called the store I work at. I am a minor and have only been working there for about a month. What should I do? I don’t want to seem like a little kid to my manager and my peers. I am mortified that my mom did this!

First, talk to your mom and explain that she is undermining you at work by making calls on your behalf. Ask her to leave your dealings with your employer to you, and to talk with you if she has questions or concerns about your schedule or anything else. Then, say to your boss, “I’m sorry my mother called about my schedule the other day. You shouldn’t need to deal with anyone but me, and I’ve talked with her to make sure it won’t happen again.” And that’s it — no more than that is necessary.

The good news here is that if you behave maturely yourself and make it clear that you’re not sanctioning your mom’s actions, what she does won’t reflect on you — even if she does it again. (But at the same time, don’t make a huge deal of your opposition to it, because that looks like overreaction, which then looks less mature.)

2. My manager knows I connected with a recruiter on LinkedIn

Today, I had a call from a recruiter, asking me how my 4-month old new job was going. (New job that I did not get from them.) I called her back to say thank you, and told her I love my new job. The whole experience just reminded me how nice and professional she was and so I, very stupidly, linked up with her on LinkedIn.

My manager is very active on LinkedIn, so I panicked right after sending the invite. It popped up on his screen right away. He actually went and (nicely) questioned the other new addition about it. So I confessed, very rapid-fire and red-faced, that I had gone on an interview for her about six months prior and had turned down the offer. I then told him that she was very nice in the process so I had linked up with her.

Is there anything I can do to convince them that I’m not planning to leave? I’m really not. This is making me so nervous right now.

There’s nothing to confess here! This interview was before you had your current job. You didn’t do anything wrong at all.

If you’re worried, though, you can certainly go back to your manager and say, “Hey, this is probably silly, but I’m worried that you might think that my connecting to Jane Smith indicates I’m unhappy here or thinking of leaving. I want you to know that I’m quite happy here, thrilled to be doing this work, and hoping to stay for a long time.”

3. Can I make managers respond to my calls and texts on their days off?

I am the vice president of operations of a restaurant company in California. Can I insist that my managers that are on salary respond to my calls or texts on their days off?

Legally? Yes. But unless (a) these are real emergencies or (b) you are warning them before they take the job and compensating them accordingly, this will make you a jerk. You should respect people’s days off if you want to attract and retain good people.

Also, if they’re non-exempt (since someone could be salaried non-exempt), you need to pay them for any time they spend answering these calls or texts.

4. How to respond to ads that say “”women and minorities are encouraged to apply”

I have a question about identifying as woman or a minority when applying for jobs. At the end of job postings, I often see statements like “women and minorities are encouraged to apply.” So I’m wondering how and when should I mention that I am both a woman and a minority? Should I mention it in my cover letter, and if so what part? Also, if I’m applying through an online system that asks me to identify my gender and/or ethnic background, should I still mention it in my cover letter or is it safe to assume that info will be passed on to the people reviewing applications?

I work in a field that is predominantly white and conference discussions and articles abound about the importance of recruiting qualified minority candidates. However, I don’t want to seem pushy or present myself in a way that suggests I’m looking for a handout. I’m just trying to figure out how to strike the right balance.

Don’t mention it in your cover letter unless it’s somehow directly relevant (which would be rare). Statements like “women and minorities are encouraged to apply” are there because either (a) it’s true — they want you to know that women and minorities are welcomed there, or (b) they want to look like it’s true. Either way, they can’t legally consider race in hiring (as opposed to making an effort to recruit a diverse pool, a la the statement you saw). And so it’s not something for your cover letter, which should be focused on why you’d excel at the job.

5. My managers won’t promote me until I’m 18

I’m a minor (17) and I’ve worked for a year now. My bosses are extremely pleased with me and I’ve made good connections with the owner and corporate people. They really want me to be a manager, but they have to wait until I am an adult because of the liability issues involved with running shifts, being responsible for the safe, driving to pick up products and such.

I was looking up some info on emancipation, and it seems like emancipation would remove the liability issue because I would then assume the responsibilities of an adult.

Some other background on me: I attend college and transport myself, and I already have a partial waiver from child labor law. So the only thing holding me back is my birth date. Would emancipation actually be a feasible way to move me into management? This is a very unusual situation, but what do you think of an under-18 manager in general?

My guess is probably not, because emancipation is about allowing you to conduct business on your own behalf outside the influence of your parents — but liability issues are separate from that. (Just like how even if you were emancipated, you still probably couldn’t rent a car from a company that requires you to be 25 or older to rent one — it’s about age-related liability, not about your parents’ legal authority over you.)

But the age issue is going to go away in less than a year. I’d just keep on performing well at work, and revisit this when 18 rolls around — which is very soon. Good luck!

Read an update to this letter here.

6. My job isn’t included on my company’s new business model chart

My company’s new business model does not have my job position on the chart. How do I word an email to say that I need to know what the plan is for me; so that I can start looking for a new job, if needed?

This is important, so it isn’t an email conversation; this is a face-to-face conversation with your manager. Go talk to her and say, “My job isn’t included on the new organizational chart I saw. Can we talk about what’s likely for my position under this new model?”

7. After nine interviews, can I ask what the hell is going on?

I was recently “cold call” recruited from a company about an open position, which piqued my interest. While I appreciate the necessity of a company to vet a potential new hire, I’ve already completed interviews with six different individuals, and I am scheduled to speak with at least three more people. In fact, the list of people they are asking me to meet with grows the further along the interview process moves. Furthermore, it’s becoming more and more difficult to carve out private time from my current employer to accommodate the growing list of interview requests. I am certainly interested in the position and the potential for career advancement that it offers, but the rather extensive and ever expanding interview process is starting to create a concern.

Since they cold-call recruited me, and continue to expand the number of interviewers, is it either appropriate or necessary for me to request they rein in the process and/or give me a crystal clear indication of their thinking (i.e. they love me and therefore need to have me meet with several people to finalize an offer, or not)?

You can’t really ask them to make their process shorter, but you can certainly ask them to give you a sense of where things stand and the remaining steps before you invest further time. I’d say something like, “Can you give me a sense of the rest of your process, as far as the likely number of remaining interviews and your timeline for making a decision?” And depending on their answer, you might also decide to say, “Since I’ve interviewed with nine people now, I wonder if we can talk about what questions you still have about my candidacy that will help you make a decision” or “Having interviewed with nine people now, it’s becoming more difficult for me to carve out time from my current position, and I’d like to get a better understanding of what we need to do between here and when you expect to make a hiring decision.”

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. My boss told my new boss that I’m only leaving for the money

I’m starting my new job tomorrow. Today, my current boss forwarded me his response to my new boss’s reference inquiry, no doubt because it was glowing and I’m really grateful for that. However, in response to being asked why, to his knowledge, I’m leaving, he only said “substantial increase in income.” I fear the idea that I took this new job just for money may hurt me in my new boss’s eyes. Compensation was certainly a big part of the decision, but it definitey was not the only reason.

What are your thoughts on how this answer might affect my boss’s initial impression of me, if at all?

I wouldn’t worry too much about it. You got the job, after all, so they obviously weren’t too bothered by it — and your manager is likely to put more weight on what you said your reasons for leaving were than what your boss said, and to realize that your boss might not really know much about what your reasons are.

This would be different, of course, if your boss said, “She’s leaving because we’re close to firing her” — but his actual answer sounds like it could easily be what someone might let their boss think rather than getting into the real reasons. I wouldn’t give it another thought.

2. How much weight do employers put on personality tests?

How much weight do employers give personality tests that they ask candidates to fill out? I’ve taken some for lower level jobs that I assume are basically trying to find out if you’re likely to steal, lie, and call in sick a lot. But I’ve also taken them for professional level jobs.

Recently I applied to a job about two weeks after it was posted. Normally I like to catch these when they are “fresh,” but this one escaped my notice. Still, I thought it was an interesting opportunity so I applied. Almost immediately I got an email response back saying they were “definitely” interested and to please complete their personality test they would be sending in a separate email. They say there are no right or wrong answers, but the next day I got a rejection email from them. Perhaps I don’t have enough of a personality for them? What are they looking for with these tests? How much weight are they really given? This one had some number patterns where I was asked to find the next number in the sequence, and I’m sure I did terrible on that portion, but it wasn’t a financial or remotely math related job.

It depends on the employer and on the position. In some cases, they’re assessing whether you have the traits that they’ve determined makes someone successful in the role — which could be anything from being outgoing to being process-oriented to having a thick skin. In other cases, they’re just looking for obvious problems (such as integrity issues). And still others, they barely use the results at all, considering them more “background” than a determining factor.

3. When should I begin applying for jobs if I graduate in June?

I’m a senior in college, I’ll be graduating in June. I search the internet for possible jobs daily and I’ve found a few that I think I’d be a good fit for. Some of the listings are immediate openings, which I obviously can’t do. I know from reading your blog that the hiring process can take a while, but how soon is too soon to start applying for jobs?

It depends on your industry. Most places hire for 1-3 months out, but there are also industries where it’s normal to start applying now for jobs in June. This is something where you really just need to know how your field works. If you don’t, try talking to a handful of people who can tell you firsthand. (And if it turns out you’re not in a field where hiring happens far, far in advance, then a good basic answer is to start around March.)

4. When should I express my interest in a not-yet-created position in my company?

I work in customer support at a small branch of a large corporation. Recently, I was told that the company will be creating a new inside sales position early next year, and I am interested in being considered.

I am have been told by several of the sales staff there that they think I would be very good in the role. Should I express my desire to grow into that role to my manager and the manager of that department now, or should I wait and simply apply when it is advertised? I want to be proactive but not appear to eager to leave my current position.

Talk to the manager of the department now. Otherwise, you risk them hiring someone else without even advertising the job.

5. Should I indicate that my work was part-time on my resume?

Should I indicate if work was part-time or occasional on my resume (or in my cover letter)?

My two recent jobs were part-time, one at 60% of full-time, and a parallel consulting position at about 15% time commitment. I have substantial accomplishments I can point to in each job, so I don’t think my experience will appear weak. I am more worried about appearing either a) overqualified when I apply to an appropriate job or b) disingenuous when more details come out later. Would you recommend preempting any confusion? If so, what is the best way to do it?

Nope, you don’t need to. You should mention it in the interview process if it’s relevant, but it doesn’t need to be on your resume. And actually, because you’ll be listing two jobs for the same time period, employers will be likely to assume that at least one was probably part-time anyway.

6. Should I mention my early graduation on my resume?

I graduated from university before turning 18 (about 10 years ago), but then did not pursue regular employment until 22. Should I mention my early graduation at any point, in my resume, cover letter, or hypothetical interview?

I did this on my resume at 22, in large part to “excuse” a spotty work history. At this point, I have a few years of work experience, and it seems unprofessional to mention age in any way. On the other hand, I leave a 4-year gap in my work history that I worry will raise red flags. Can you offer any suggestions on how best to present (or gloss over) this situation?

I don’t think it is a positive to mention my activities during these 4 years, which consisted of many and wildly varied short-term commitments. The skills I picked up during that period of time are better illustrated in my professional experience since then.

I don’t think you need to mention the early graduation unless it specifically comes up as relevant in an interview. If I’m doing the math right, you’ve had about six years of steady employment now, which is about what you would have (hopefully) had if you’d graduated at the more typical age of 22. So you could just do your resume the way you would if you’d graduated at 22 and not worry about the earlier stuff.

On the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “I graduated from college at 17 and then took a few years off to finish growing up” — which is something most people will understand.

7. Gift for a recommender who’s also my manager

I 100% agree with and follow the advice of avoiding gifting upwards in the office — with the exception of very small/cute things when I get back from vacation (think <$3) that I usually give to each of my close coworkers.

However, my boss just finished the second of three recommendations for business school. She really went above and beyond in the recommendation process too — working with me to find out what strengths I valued. It seems to be common advice on B-School forums to give recommenders extravagant gifts (like $100 gift cards, or bottles of wine, or at minimum a really nice box of chocolates or edible arrangement.) After reading your blog for so long (and admittedly partially because I’m broke), I feel like it would be sort of awkward/odd to get her something like this. I think I could bring in something small and nice for my former manager who also wrote a recommendation, but giving something substantial to my current manager feels really odd.

Should I get her anything beyond a thank-you card? If so, do you or the readers have any ideas? It just feels really really odd to bring in a box of chocolates or wine. Also, the last recommendation isn’t due for 3 more months — if I give her something now it starts to feel like I’m bribing her… but if I wait for 3 months, it feels like I’m not showing appreciation soon enough for what she’s done! Any advice?

Personally, there’s no situation where I’d expect or be comfortable with an extravagant gift from an employee who reported to me (particularly a gift card, which is too much like giving cash). That’s crazy that people are recommending that.

I always think the absolute nicest, most meaningful gift you can give a manager is a sincere and detailed letter — I’m talking a full page — about why you appreciated working for them. Management is often a thankless job and it can feel like people don’t notice the myriad ways a good manager tries to help them — so it feels pretty awesome when someone writes a letter like that. Way better than even a pricey bottle of wine or other gift would feel.