Ask a Manager

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How to praise a coworker to her manager

I have been working closely with a colleague at my university who has been doing a stellar job. I really appreciate the work she has done – both in speed and quality! I would like to email her supervisor to let him know how much I appreciate her efforts. Are there guidelines I should follow before sending an email (for example, should I let her know first?). How should I structure the email? I want to be sure I don’t make any faux-paus when sending the email but I do want to be sure she’s recognized for all of her hard work!

No special protocol needed, and no need to tell her ahead of time (although you might forward it to her after you’ve sent it). In the email just be straightforward, and be as specific as you can. For instance: “I’ve been thinking lately about how much I appreciate working with Jane and figured I should tell you how great she is. She’s always happy to help with X, even when it’s at the last minute, and her ability to edit my writing to make it more concise without losing substance or voice has left me incredibly impressed. She’s a pleasure to work with.”

Also, people should do more of this.

2. My boss showed us a photo of himself using cocaine

My boss showed some of the staff a picture on his cell phone of himself using cocaine at a party. Multiple staff members have now heard about the incident and it has had a bit of a butterfly effect on staff morale. I am wondering if there are any implications of us not reporting the behavior? Are we legally compliant or liable in any way?

Your boss is a tool, but no, you’re not legally required to report him or liable for not doing so. (In fact, assuming we’re talking about reporting him to the police, it’s highly unlikely they could do anything at all about it if you did. It’s just a photo, not a report of something else they could act upon.)

3. Will I make more money through raises at my current company or by changing jobs?

I have been told by a couple of mentors (within my company) that you make more money and get more responsibilities by staying with one company, as opposed to moving jobs for modest raises. I have 10 years of experience in my field and I am currently working for my second company, where I’ve been for 5.5 years. When I moved from the first company, I received a 35% increase. My current raises have only averaged approximately 3% and the recent promotion I received was only 6% (with more responsibilities). Should I stay and hope more money will come with seniority or is it better to change and get more money in the short term? I could easily move to another company an immediately get 10-15% increase, but I am not sure if loyalty will pay off in the long term. Any guidance on this subject would be much appreciated.

What? No. That is backwards. It’s widely accepted that most people get significantly higher salary jumps by changing jobs than they do through company raises. Some companies are exceptions to this, of course, but it doesn’t sound like yours is.

Any chance these “mentors” in your company are just trying to get you to stay there?

4. My boss’s wife makes me do her schoolwork

I am an executive assistant to the chairman and CEO of a major firm and I need help. My boss is a real creep. A sneaky, unethical and cheap individual. Rarely acknowledges me, let alone says two words. However, he sits back and allows his wife to use me as her personal assistant. For years now the wife has imposed her schoolwork on me. Just today, she shows up to the office with thick textbooks, so I can work on her essay – create footnotes, bibliography and appendix, etc. He knows this is happening. My colleagues laugh at me and tell me, “I hope you are getting the diploma.”

To make matters worse, I have been putting off surgery (gallbladder removal) because of my workload, and when I reminded her today that I am scheduling for Nov. 6, she responded with, “Well, if that is the case then, since you live in the same county as I, when P is away (my boss) on business on the 30th, I want you to work from the house to help me with a big project of creating files for the past 7 years of home repairs.”

When is it going to stop? Just recently, they gave salary increases and as expected did not bother providing me with one…in nearly 7 years one increase of $3K and that is it. I am disgusted and tired of the abuse. He knows this is happening and says nothing. He doesn’t value me, so whom do I turn too? I was never hired to do personal work especially not for the wife.

That’s ridiculous. You could try telling your boss that you’re uncomfortable doing personal work for his wife when you were hired to work for him, but it doesn’t sound like you have much rapport with him or that you think he would care. And since he’s the CEO, it’s unlikely that you can do much about this.

So the answer to “when is it going to stop?” is probably that it’s going to stop when you leave, which is what you should probably be thinking about doing. You’ve been there seven years so it wouldn’t be a bad idea to be looking at other jobs anyway — but in light of all this, it would make a ton of sense to be actively looking.

5. How to start an email

I often find myself starting emails with “I hope all is well with you…” To be honest, I hate using this line, and I sometimes really don’t care how some people I am addressing are feeling. Do you know of a neutral way of asking this question? How can I start off my email without sounding discourteous?

You don’t necessarily need to open with a substitute for that line. In many contexts, especially for internal emails, it’s fine to go straight into what you’re writing about — for instance, “Hi Jane, I’m sending over a write-up on Jesse Pinkman that I thought you’d find useful,” or whatever. But if it’s someone you haven’t talked with in a long time or who you otherwise feel the need to use opening niceties with, “I hope you’re doing well” is pretty standard.

6. Interviewer wouldn’t tell me how many people they’re interviewing

I just had a full-day interview, and my interviewers knew I had been offered another position and had to make a decision. They had yet to interview the remaining candidates, but the interviewer wanted to be up-front with me about the time frame. She said I was still in the running and wanted me to make whatever decision was best for me. I asked her if she could tell me how many candidates remained to be interviewed and she told me she could not because it was illegal. However, she then went on to tell me that they had received 50 total applicants for the position and that these had been screened with phone interviews down to the current pool (I’m assuming so I could make an educated guess about how many were in the full-day interview stage).

Is this actually illegal? If so, why? And why was she still able to tell me how many applicants applied in the first place? If it’s not illegal, why would she tell me it was or be hesitant to provide the number of other interviewees? If she really is interested in me “doing what’s best for me,” it seems that knowing how many people I’m competing with would be a pretty important factor. This was in the state of Louisiana if that makes any difference.

No, that’s not illegal. That’s an interviewer who has no idea what she’s talking about. I have no idea why she told you that — but I’d guess that she really believes it, just like loads of other people think things are illegal that actually are not.

7. How can I show my increase in responsibility on my resume?

I’ve been in my current position for 5 years. Two years in, I was given an increase in responsibility but it caused no change to my title. (I became the one in charge when my boss was out for the day or on vacation, meaning I was responsible for handling emergencies, bringing in additional staff if we were short, locking up the building, and signing off on any reports that had to be handled ASAP.) Two years after that, another person left and I took on half of what she did (Job B) and my boss took on the other half.

How can I show on my resume the increase in responsibility for the last 3 years, even though there was no change in my title? So far, I’ve put something like:
Job A: 2008-present
Job B: 2012-present.

Saying I’m the “#2 behind my boss” feels phony even though it’s the truth and everyone in my department (and management) knows it.

If you weren’t trying to specifically show an increase in responsibility, I’d say that you should just put all of it in a single bucket, but since you are, the way you have it here works fine. And you could include something like, “Served as acting manager in director’s absence: [details here of what that entailed].”

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How can we screen out job candidates who just want to work here for the “cool” factor?

I work at a small (8-person) creative media company that is considered “cool” in our industry and tends to attract job candidates who want to be associated with our brand and company. But when they realize it’s not all fun and games, they either lose interest or discover they aren’t a good fit or that they don’t actually possess the skills that they said they did.

After one such hire, we’re trying again to advertise for our first receptionist / office manager position, a crucial yet junior role in our business. Leaving aside any potential issues with our hiring policies or company culture, what sort of questions/puzzles/brain teasers can I ask in our online application form or phone interview that can potentially screen those candidates who are motivated by providing great work and service, rather than those who want a “cool” name on their resume?

This isn’t really the place for puzzles or brain teasers. You might, in certain hiring situations, use those to test a candidate’s critical thinking, but they’re not suited to ensuring that people are interested in your company for the right reasons. Instead, you’d be better off probing into their past experiences — what have they done successfully in the past that’s hard? Do they have a track record of the skills and traits they’ll need to be successful in the role? What do their references say about them? That’s going to give you far more useful information than letting them define their own interest level for you.

In addition, make sure you’re being explicit about the reality of working for your company — even overly playing up the downsides if people are typically blinded by the upsides. Talk about the hard or boring or unglamorous elements of the job and gauge their reactions. No one is going to say “oh, then I’m not interested,” but you’ll be able to tell a lot from how they do react: Are they really processing what you’re saying or are they clinging to their blinders about your work?

2. I don’t like to share my personal life with my coworkers

My question is probably a strange one, but here goes: Early on in my career, I had a couple of very bad experiences with forming friendships with co-workers. After those experiences, I decided that I wouldn’t befriend my coworkers anymore. I consider myself friendly and outgoing, and I have a lot of friends outside of work, but am starting to feel that it is hurting me in my career. I try not to let my coworkers know too many details of my personal life, but I am still friendly, if that makes sense. Another reason I don’t share too many details is because I have been unfairly judged (i.e. young and unmarried, childless, religious) in my past jobs.

My manager asked me recently why I don’t like to share my personal life, and I gave him an honest answer (i.e. bad past experiences, unfair judgments against me, etc.), and I have the feeling that he thinks I’m weird. Am I being too cautious, or is this a smart strategy?

A bit overly cautious, probably. You certainly don’t have to share details about your personal life if you prefer not to, but if you don’t share anything, you do risk coming across as cold or odd, which can impact things you care about at work. Why not share things that are innocuous and unlikely to cause you problems — such as that you went to the beach with friends this weekend, or that you follow a particular sports team or that you share your coworker’s love of a TV show? You don’t need to open up about religion or your relationships; just stick to neutral topics of the sort you might discuss with, say, your dental hygienist.

3. We’re not allowed to call out our managers for breaking rules

This week, my manager came up with new rules that supposedly applied to everyone, including managers. One of the major rules is no online browsing or looking at pictures or videos or any social networking, and if you are caught it’s an instant write-up. The other rule is that you can’t “call out” a person who’s ranked higher. For example, if my supervisor got on Netflix while on the clock, I can’t say anything to him about it; for him to get in trouble, his manager has to see him. But if I told him to get off Netflix I would get written up.

Is this legal? I can’t tell them to stop breaking the rules and work? This is a very small department; it only has usually 6-7 people working, so one person, slacking off is a big deal. Also, it happens that the next day my supervisor was on his phone browsing the Internet and the manager got there and they both started talking about the celebrities on the website and no one got in trouble. I want to know if not being able to call them out is legal?

Yes, it’s legal. No law requires your employer to treat everyone the same or fairly or not to have double standards for managers versus non-managers. And no law requires you to be allowed to call someone out for breaking a policy.

The concept you’re looking for is “unfair” and perhaps “silly,” but not illegal. Although I wouldn’t even really call it unfair — it’s pretty normal not to be expected to tell your manager what she can and can’t do; that’s part of the relationship. The silly part is that they felt the need to codify it.

4. What does it mean that my interviewer gave me copies of the employee handbook and benefits plans?

I have gone on 3 different job interviews for one particular company in the past week and a half. At the beginning of the third interview, the HR manager hands me the employee handbook and the benefits guide (breakdowns of medical, dental, and vision insurance and their prices) and then tells me to familiarize myself with these because it took her two weeks to thoroughly read through them.

Is this a for-sure sign of getting the position? Is this common to give these types of confidential documents out to interviewees?

No, it’s not a sign that you’ll be offered the job at all. Some companies do this for all candidates at this stage of the hiring process — which is smart, because it broadens your understanding of what policies and benefits you’d have if you ended up working there, which is info that should be hugely relevant to deciding whether or not to work there (and far too often companies don’t offer that information up at all). But don’t read anything more into it than “we are now at the third interview and we give you these documents at this stage.”

5. Some coworkers get birthday cakes and other celebrations and some don’t

I work for a fairly large company, but my “team” is around 30 members. We tend to celebrate life events, like birthdays, weddings and baby showers. My issue is that there’s a big discrepancy between certain employees (and it has nothing to do with hierarchy or seniority). For example, it was decided that we (as a team) would throw a baby shower for an employee. The employee got a ton of gifts and a very expensive cake (nearly $100) was purchased. Another co-worker is expecting now, and as far as I know, no one is planning a shower for her.

Another example: Some people’s birthdays are celebrated and some are not. (If the person has expressly said they don’t want to be recognized, that’s fine – but that’s not what I’m talking about here.) Usually, a cake/cookies/pie is purchased from a bakery and a card is given. This year, an employee’s birthday was totally forgotten. To add insult to injury, that person was asked to coordinate the “A-list” baby shower, which was the same day as the forgotten employee’s birthday. Ouch!

Do you have any thoughts on how to handle this?

Yeah, unfortunately leaving this stuff informal can lead to exactly what you’re describing — and hurt coworkers who feel like they’re not as much a part of the team than other people. It sucks because it would be nice to be able to be informal about this kind of thing, and it seems silly to have to introduce bureaucracy into it … but based on what you’re seeing, you should probably put someone in charge of coordinating all of these events so they can make sure stuff like this doesn’t happen. (And that person would ideally be given guidelines like: Check with people to see if they want a celebration before you plan one, make contributing money for this stuff opt-in and not opt-out, and so forth.)

6. Including company descriptions on your resume

I’ve seen some resumes with company descriptions on them. An example would be:
XYZ Company
Nonprofit organization whose goal is…Received award for “Being Awesome,” 2011, 2012.

What do you think of adding company descriptions? If I kept my descriptions in, my resume would be three pages. I know enough not to send a three-page resume out and only send out a two-page resume, which is edited to suit the job I’m applying to. Are company descriptions necessary or helpful for hiring managers?

Nope. They take up space and they’re not needed at this point. An interviewer certainly might want to know more about the places you’ve worked at some point, but the time for that is in an interview, not on your resume. Your resume should be about you, not your company.

An exception to this if if you’re including something about the company that better explains your role or achievements there — but don’t include company descriptions for their own sake.

7. I lied on a job application and now face a background check

My cousin made me a CV with false info on it (school, job experience) and now I’m facing a background check in my application. What happens if the employer finds out I didn’t go to the school and have these job experiences?

You will have the job offer pulled and be ineligible to work there in the future. (Or, even worse, if they find out after they’ve already hired you, you’ll be fired.) Most places verify employment and check references, so this is likely to happen again. Stop doing it.

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Our team retreat included a naked sauna trip

I work for an international NGO, and I’m the only woman on a team of 12, mostly North American employees. We recently held a team retreat in a country where gender roles are behind the times.

My director, who is from the country where we were, announced that one of our team-building activities would be a trip to the sauna – men only. I objected, and he grudgingly said I could go, but my colleagues would all be naked. Feeling very uncomfortable, I opted not to go, and some colleagues stayed behind with me so I wouldn’t be sitting around by myself all night.

I’m still feeling bothered and excluded (It doesn’t help that my colleagues had a fantastic time and can’t stop raving about it). Do I just let it go and chalk it up to cultural differences? If I do choose to deal with it, how can I do so sensitively and professionally?

To some extent, this can be part of the deal with traveling to countries with different cultures; they have different norms that will govern. However, if your organization is headquartered in the U.S. or another country where gender-segrated work activities don’t fly (let alone nudity among coworkers), your manager or someone else in a position from authority from a region with the same cultural norms as ours should have addressed this. If that didn’t happen, it’s worth advocating that this be handled differently in the future — but beyond that, I think you’re best off chalking it to cultural differences. (And yay for the presumably male colleagues who stayed behind with you.)

2. At what point do cover letters get read?

At what point in the applicant screening process do cover letters get read, if at all? I slave away on crafting my cover letters, especially for jobs that I really really want, and I know it’s better to submit one than not. I am just wondering if it’s even being read at all or if they decide whether they like you or not before even considering looking at your cover letter.

It depends on the employer. Some don’t read them at all, and others do. You can’t tell from the outside which hiring manager will and which won’t, so you should assume that they all do and include a good letter. As for when in the process they’re read, generally in the initial screen, either right before or right after the resume.

A great cover letter won’t (generally) make up for a resume that severely lacking, but when there are dozens or hundreds of candidates who are all about as qualified as you, it can be what gets your application pulled out for an interview.

3. My sister’s boss is demeaning to her

My sister is currently working as a cashier at a fast food chain and has been employed in this position for about 6 months. She recently divulged that her manager has been making what I consider to be degrading and inappropriate comments to her. To be more specific, he says my sister “rides the stupid bus,” as well as refers to her as “Ms. Frizzle, driver of the Magic School Bus.” The other day, my sister overheard her manager call her “Ms. Frizzle” to HIS boss.

Obviously, I am upset by this, but I’m 99 percent sure that there is nothing I personally can do (right?). My sister herself is very shy, and adverse to confrontation, but is there any advice I can give her to help make this situation better?

Lovely. Your sister’s boss is clearly an ass, and his own boss clearly doesn’t care (and thus is probably a bit of an ass as well). I’d encourage your sister to realize that your boss is the problem, not her, and to change jobs … and to see this as a lesson in getting herself out of bad situations.

4. Coworkers won’t stop singing and shouting

I work on a production line with 20 other people. We work in a space with lots of machines running with a lot of background noise. There are 3 guys who at any time will break into singing, whistling, and shouting at each other. This can last from 30 minutes to more than 2 hours without stopping on any given day. They will repeat the same tunes day in and day out.

This has a huge effect on me and some of my coworkers, but others don’t seem to mind. They have been asked to stop, and their answer is that they’re only having a laugh. Management doesn’t want to help. What can be done in this situation?

Well, probably nothing, it sounds like. You’ve asked them to stop and they’ve refused, and your manager isn’t willing to tell them to stop … so it sounds like this is part of the work environment there. Which would mean that you’ll have to decide whether it’s a deal-breaker for you or not (or whether you can wear headphones or otherwise block out or distract yourself from the noise).

5. Boss scheduled me for Christmas Eve, after approving me to be out

I work part-time in a position that would normally be full-time (I’m a graphic designer and there’s a lot of work around here). Since I receive no benefits, I must work extra hours to make up for holidays and vacation days. With all the winter holidays and my need to focus on night-time grad school for a whole week, I created a schedule for the next three months. Boss took a close look at it and approved it two weeks ago.

Today, however, he said he’ll “need” me to be on “standby” on Christmas Eve and the day before that, which I’d clearly marked as vacation time. I told him I could not work those days because I’d be with family, and he went on about how I’m not showing loyalty to the job. Meanwhile, I know I am an asset to the team and there is a very large demand for my skills at other potentially more pleasant workplaces.

This is the second time a manager of mine has reneged on his approval of my time off over Christmas. Having managed people myself, I can’t imagine being so crass. What is the appropriate response?

I don’t think “crass” is quite the word you want…? In any case, this does suck, but the reality is that sometimes people are indeed needed to be available on certain days. Yes, he shouldn’t have approved the time off before he was sure, but sometimes things do change — and he’s at least giving you two months notice (which doesn’t help, of course, if you already made plans to be out-of-town). Your can tell him that you made unbreakable plans after he approved the days off earlier and see what happens … but unless this is part of a pattern of disrespect or sloppy management, I’d try to just work it out. However, if you’re sufficiently unhappy with your manager, there’s no reason that you can’t explore one of those “potentially more pleasant workplaces” as an alternative.

6. Did I destroy my chances by sending in a new application?

I recently noticed a typo from when a I applied for a job a week ago. I decided to clean it up and re-word the whole thing and send it again. I hadn’t heard anything in a week, so I figured that I don’t have much to lose as I suppose I won’t get an interview anyway. By doing it, have I destroyed all of my chances of getting the job or have I improved my chances?

Well, it’s sort of weird to submit a whole new application just one week after your first one. It’s likely to look like you didn’t realize that you’d already applied. If you want to correct an error, the best way to do that is with a follow-up email (if their system allows it; if not, you need to just let it go).

In general, don’t draw any conclusions just because a week has gone by since you applied for a job. Hiring takes a long time, often months.

7. Coworker with shingles

I have a coworker who came to work with shingles blisters and is refusing to cover the blisters . My managers are refusing to do anything. There are people who work with her who are pregnant and are now furious with her. I am a high-risk patient and am very angry with her for what she did. I work at an amusement park. How can someone be so dumb?

How people can be so dumb is a question I’m not qualified to answer. But your managers should have asked your coworker to cover the blisters to help prevent transmission.