Ask a Manager

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Employees are telling me they’re leaving early, rather than asking

I have two employees who I supervise who leave work at least half an hour early almost once a week or two. This is because they have doctor appointments or need to get to the bank in time. Last week, one of the asked if she could leave two hours early to catch a flight on a Friday to be away for the weekend. It was previously them asking if they could have the time off – which I have not ever said no to. But in the last week, I have received emails from them (as they sit in a separate building from myself) with “FYI – I will be leaving work at …” Also, I have previously asked them to give me at least a day’s notice, but they contact me the same day still.

I feel that because I am new to being a supervisor that I am now becoming a pushover. Is it unreasonable for me to ask them to use their lunch break or arrange dr appointments and visits to the bank (where they are open later one day a week to allow time to get there before they close after work) after hours, except in certain circumstances where an appointment can only be made during work hours?

Well, first, it sounds like you’re resenting them for doing something that you haven’t told them to stop. So if these are the rules you want to enforce, you need to say clearly, “Please check with me for approval before planning to leave early, and please give me at least one day’s notice.” If it continues after that, you say, “As you know, I need you to get this approved by me before planning on. Would you handle these requests differently in the future?”

However … what you’re describing isn’t necessarily problematic. In many jobs, it’s quite common, and one of the perks of being an exempt employee. Are they getting their work done and are they there during the hours you need them? If so, you risk losing good employees if you burden them with rules that (a) have no connection to their ability to get their work done well and (b) are out of sync with how employees at their level generally operate. (That said, there certainly are jobs where these rules make more sense, such as public-facing jobs where someone else would need to cover for a person leaving early.)

2. Using a former manager as a reference when we both still work at the same company

I would like your advice on asking a previous supervisor for a reference when we are both still employed at the same organization. I used this supervisor as a reference when I moved out of state approximately a year ago. I ended up moving back and took a different position (working under a different supervisor) for the same company. I worry that she may tell my current supervisor that I am looking for a new job, but I don’t necessarily think I would experience any retaliation for this.

The fact that you haven’t been in your new job for very long is the complication here. Even if your new manager wouldn’t normally be upset that you’re looking for a new job, I can’t imagine she’ll be thrilled to hear it after mere months on the job (which I’m assuming is that case because you moved for a different job a year ago, and have since returned to this company). It’s a big deal to hear that a new employee is already job searching, so if you can, I’d leave your old supervisor out of the loop for now and use different references instead. (If you absolutely must use her, wait to talk to her until you’re in the reference-checking stage with a job — which is generally at the end of the process when you’re already a finalist.)

3. My boss won’t let me hang out socially with a client

I am an assistant to a financial advisor who I get along with well with professionally. Recently we acquired a client who is about my age and very nice. We hit it off and speak often, never work-related, and we don’t even mention my boss. I mentioned to him that she wanted to have lunch or dinner, not thinking anything of it. He immediately said he would not like me being “drinking buddies.” I don’t get that, I don’t have “drinking buddies” or care to. I’ve worked with other advisors and it was never an issue. It would just be two girls having a meal together like any other friends. I am not happy he feels this way and want to confront the situation. What do I do?

Find out what his concerns are. Tell him that you’re not planning on becoming drinking buddies, but that you’ve hit it off with her and would like to have lunch with her, but that you respect that he’s concerned and want to understand what his worries are. It might be that he doesn’t want anyone having social relationships with clients, and if that’s the case, that’s his prerogative (and it wouldn’t be terribly unusual; plenty of employers do discourage that kind of relationship with clients). You shouldn’t go into angry or wanting to “confront” him. Just see what his concerns are and whether you can alleviate them. If you can’t, well, keeping professional boundaries is part of the package of having this (and many other) jobs.

4. How to style yourself for a work headshot

I need help figuring out what to wear/how to style myself for a headshot for work. I am in my mid-20s and a new associate attorney at my law firm. My biggest fear is looking, well, stuffy or older than I am. I know that you have said before to wear a pearl necklace, but what are other good options? Also, I have long (to my lower back) dark hair. Do you have any suggestions for styling it? I need some advice — please help!

First I have to set the record straight: I’ve never advised a pearl necklace — you certainly can wear one if you’d like, though. But my advice is just to wear a suit, don’t go overboard with makeup, keep your hair back (a bun or anything else that keeps it from being a main focus in the picture), and don’t worry much beyond that. I’d especially not worry about looking older or stuffier than you are — older and stuffier can be an advantage for a mid-20s lawyer, at least in most fields of law. (That doesn’t mean you need to create faux wrinkles or anything like that, but you shouldn’t worry about going out of your way to ensure you look young and carefree.)

5. Sending thank-you notes after a rejection

I recently was rejected from a large company after being a finalist, and I want to send a few thank-you notes but I had a question about who I should send one to. During the almost two-month-long process, I was in contact with three HR representatives. Only one of them was in charge of filling the position, and I interviewed with a total of 6 team members. I sent thank-you cards to everyone after my interviews, but now that I’ve been rejected, should I send thank you cards to just the HR people, the people who interviewed me, or everyone? I only have the names of the HR people, but the only contact I had with them was to set up interviews with the team members. Any advice would be appreciated!

Sending thank-you’s after being rejected is an unusually gracious gesture, and you’ll stand out in a good way for it. Ideally, you’d send them to the HR people and the people who interviewed you … but send emails, not cards. You’ve already sent cards, and doing it again would be overkill — but emails are perfect for this situation.

6. Explaining my disagreements with my thesis advisor in a job interview

I recently made the decision to leave my PhD program with a master’s degree. There were several reasons for this, but one aspect was that I didn’t get along with my advisor as well as I’d hoped. We had some disagreements about how best to complete my master’s thesis work, all of which might have been simpler to resolve if we had communicated more frequently and clearly.

This advisor is known in the department for how rarely she responds to emails, for saying that she’ll be available and in her office when she isn’t, and in the last year or so, being out of the country so frequently that it’s hard to pin down when she is there. Because of this, and because I was not used to having to take all of the communication initiative, our contact was often very limited.

As I apply to industry jobs, I’d like to stave off concerns that I won’t get along with future managers. I’ve learned a lot from working with her, especially with regards to how best to deal with uncommunicative managers that expect high levels of initiative. That said, I still feel guilty about the way we worked together in the last couple of years, and I have trouble explaining it without feeling like I am very much at fault and the situation will recur. Do you have any advice on how to explain this in a way that honestly explains the disconnect and shows that I think I could get along better with a different manager, without vilifying my old advisor? I don’t want to badmouth her, but I still struggle to see this in a positive light.

Good news: In most fields, hiring managers aren’t likely to think about this at all, because they won’t think of your advisor as a manager. What’s more, you won’t even need to get into what happened — at most, they’ll ask why you left with a master’s rather than finishing the PhD (and a lot of them won’t even ask that), you’ll give an explanation that doesn’t involve your advisor (you mentioned there were other reasons), and that will be that. The vast majority of hiring managers will be utterly uninterested in your relationship with your advisor, or that there was a disconnect, and you just need a short answer about the master’s that doesn’t get into this relationship and then can move on.

7. Conveying an interim manager role on my resume

I am currently working as a contractor with a small nonprofit while I continue with my job search. My supervisor resigned at the beginning of the month, and I am currently filling his role as the organization reorganizes. My supervisor was the head of a division (well, he was the division, along with me). How can I convey the fact that I’m acting in his position on my resume?

“Served as acting Head of XYZ for nine months.” Then talk about what you were responsible for / achieved in that role.

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker is relentlessly negative about our old jobs and our new ones

My previous employer had a mass layoff. I found a new job quickly, and then one of my coworkers from the old place also joined the new company. This person has a negative attitude toward both workplaces, and often tries to bond with me via complaining. I think the old company was fine, the new one is great, and even if I wasn’t happy, I have better things to do than sit around griping.

I am concerned that since we both came from the same place, people will naturally associate us with each other. How can I discourage my colleague’s negativity or at least distance myself from it?

Two things — how you act with your coworker, and how you act with others. With your coworker, you can nicely make it clear that you feel very differently. When she complains to you, respond with things like: “Wow, I really like it here. I’m surprised to hear that.” “I didn’t mind that at Old Company at all. It’s too bad you felt that way.” “Hmmm, I don’t see it that way.” It’s likely she’ll stop complaining to you.

With other people, be positive and upbeat. They’re unlikely to lump you in with your coworker’s negativity if you’re clearly a positive presence.

2. Can I leave the salary section of an online application blank?

If I leave the salary history and/or salary requirement section of an online application blank, what are the odds of me getting called in for an interview? SHOULD I be filling it out?

It really depends. Some employers absolutely require it, while others will take note that you left it blank and ask you about it in the interview, while still others won’t pay it any attention at all. You can’t really know which you’re dealing with from the outside*, which is frustrating, but in general, really great employers aren’t willing to disqualify otherwise strong candidates for things like that. So it probably comes down to how many options you have — are you willing to screen out less-great employers, or do you need to leave them in the mix?

* If it’s an online application and the field isn’t required, that’s a decent indicator that you won’t be booted for leaving it blank.

3. Would it be reasonable for me to ask for this time off?

I recently finished my first year in a position I love (and attained thanks in part to information on your site!). My company encourages its employees to pursue a continuing education/professional certification program (refunding our fees after we pass, giving us time off to study, etc). I’m currently scheduled to retake (it has a notoriously low pass rate — almost everyone in the office has taken it multiple times) the exam in December (the weekend after Thanksgiving).

The exam is only offered in certain cities, so I’m traveling 7+ hours to my parents’ city to take the exam. I realized the other week that I am going to be in this city the week before for Thanksgiving, and rather than drive 7 hours home and 7 hours back four days later, I was contemplating asking to take off the week before the exam. Traditionally, the company gives us afternoons and the day before the exam off, so I would only be taking a total of 2 days time (I have plenty of accrued time), and I would offer to bring my computer to check email since it would follow the days we get for Thanksgiving.

Is it unreasonable to ask for this time off? Does it seem naive? I know year-end is generally a pretty busy time for everyone and people are jockeying for vacation time, but based on my workload last year, I think I’d be able to do. I just don’t want to step on anyone’s toes or seem ungrateful for what they’re already offering.

That seems entirely reasonable, unless you happen to work in a culture that considers taking vacation time an outrage (but I assume you would have mentioned it if you do). Just explain your reasoning and ask your manager if that would be hugely inconvenient for anyone. And really, even without the exam logistics, this wouldn’t be an unreasonable request. Ask, explain why, and see what she says.

4. Should I bring up my age in interviews?

I have recently been applying to executive level technology positions and have generated some interest from the resumes I have sent out. My knowledge and experience are well in line with the position requirements, and I look great on paper. However, I look quite young in comparison to most executives I come across, and I fear this will be held against me during the interview process.

The truth is, I am young — and I believe that can be greatly beneficial in my field. I am able to quickly catch on to new technologies, and I have the energy, passion, and hunger to succeed. I know that interviewers are generally not able to ask about age, and I am wondering if I should broach the subject? I would explain to them why my age should not be considered a detractor from my qualifications, and highlight the reasons why it makes me and even stronger candidate. Would this be inappropriate?

Don’t bring up your age. It’s likely to make everyone feel uncomfortable, and if they weren’t even thinking about it until you raised it, it’s going to be extra weird. A better bet is to demonstrate that your age is irrelevant by being a great candidate — interviewing well, having a track record of achievement, etc.

5. My boss promised to pay my salary while I’m out, but now is changing the plan

My boss promised to pay my salary while I am away. I am having major surgery for uterine cancer and will be off 7 weeks total. Now, suddenly, two weeks before my surgery, she wants me to get employment insurance — she does not want to pay! I am totally stressed out as it is, and I don’t have time to fill out all the forms and run around and get them all signed, and work. Plus, even if it is approved I have to wait two weeks for only 50% of my salary, and I have to prove every 2 weeks that I need to receive benefits and fill out more forms. My surgeon is now so concerned that I am too stressed for surgery. Can all this be right?

Ethically, no, absolutely not — she messed up by telling you one thing and then changing it so close to your surgery. Legally, assuming you’re in the U.S., this is legal unless you had a written agreement that she’s now violating. But I’d try talking to her about your concerns: “Jane, I was so grateful when you said you’d cover my salary while I’m recovering, and after you told me that, I made plans based on it. This new plan will only provide half that income, and only for five of the weeks rather than seven. I realize you weren’t obligated to make your original offer, and again I’m grateful for it — but since I was counting on it, is there any way for us to stick with that?”

Note that this focuses only on the amount you’ll be receiving and not the forms — because it’s pretty reasonable for you to fill out some forms in exchange for getting seven weeks of pay while you’re out.

6. Asking the wrong person

How do I transfer my new resume and one pic from my friend’s pc to my chrome?

Seriously, that’s your question for me?

7. Am I being pushy with my references?

Last Thursday, a potential employer let me know they would be checking my references. I emailed my references a heads-up to let them know. On Monday morning, the employer called me because they hadn’t yet heard from three of my four references (one had been out of town, one was a misdial, all are extremely busy professionals), asking me to push the process along. Just after receiving this call from the first employer, a second employer let me know they wanted to check my references as well. So, in addition to having to nudge my references about the first employer, I needed to ask them all for another favor and more of their time! The second employer also requested that the references contact the organization instead of vice versa (I assume to cut down on phone tag issues).

Is there a way I could have handled this more gracefully? I let the first employer know some of my references are extremely busy, out of town, and in an earlier time zone, but that I would follow up with them. Since I had to request my references contact the second organization anyway, I emailed them, but it felt like an imposition and pushy to be emailing them twice in less than three business days about the same issue.

It’s not pushy. Often reference requests come in batches like this when someone is job searching. If your references like you — and they should, if you’re using them as references — they shouldn’t be bothered. And you can explain that the first employer is moving quickly and asked you to follow up with them.

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Do we have to invite our boss to our party?

I’m a lab supervisor, and our scientific advisor and I are planning a party for our lab people. We are part of a group that does research with direction from the division manager — who is “the boss” with whom we meet weekly. For a casual, relaxed party at my house, do I have to invite the boss? If others in the group don’t feel relaxed, it defeats the purpose of the party.

You don’t have to, and most managers will understand why employees might prefer to socialize without the boss present. (There are, of course, the occasional managers who will feel personally slighted or offended, but you probably know if you have one of those since you will have seen other signs of immaturity, pettiness, and confusion about roles.)

2. I might have accidentally left confidential documents out

I may have accidentally printed some confidential papers related to my work and left them sitting on the printer. I say “may” because I really have no idea how I could have printed them without realizing it. There’s also the possibility that a coworker accidentally printed it, but I feel the spotlight is more on me since I was the last one to work on these documents.

My manager is the one who found the papers at the printer and wants an explanation of how something like this could have happened. I’m really not quite sure what to say. I worry that saying I don’t know how this happened makes me sound irresponsible. My reflex is to apologize, but I’m not really sure if this was even my mistake. I also don’t want to make excuses and would like to provide an explanation that would ensure this doesn’t happen again (which is difficult to do since, again, I don’t know how this happened). Any advice on how to resolve this issue?

How about, “I can’t imagine how this could have happened. I’m normally extremely careful about this issue because I know how crucial is to keep these confidential. I don’t think it was me and others do have access to this file, but since we can’t know for sure, I’m going to be extra vigilant going forward to make sure that there’s no way this could happen from anything I’m doing.”

That tells your manager what she probably wants to hear — that you recognize that this is a big deal, you take it seriously, and you’re going to be extra careful in the future.

3. When an interviewer asks If I’m interviewing anywhere else

I’ve been on several interviews where toward the end the hiring manager (or HR person) has asked. “Are you interviewing anywhere else?” Each time I’ve replied in this nature: “I am looking but haven’t locked in anything serious yet.”

So what’s best? Should you say, “Yes, I’m actively interviewing everywhere and your offer better be competitive”?

This is such a silly question; they should assume that you’re looking at other jobs, and there’s no point in asking. If what they really want to know is whether they’re in danger of losing you to another offer, they should tell you their likely timeline and ask if you have any conflicts with it, or tell you that they can expedite things if you’re expecting other offers.

In any case, the best answer is some variation of “I’m looking at a few different options, but I’m being pretty picky because I care a lot about fit.” That says you’re someone with options without giving them more information than they need.

4. How to ask about training in an interview

I am currently interviewing. A big concern of mine is training. How do I broach the subject? I am unsure how to measure if an employer will expect too much too soon.

Ask, “How is the person in this position typically trained? How long does it usually take before someone is fully trained and able to work independently?”

And then really listen to what they say. Do they seem uncertain, or hem and haw before figuring out an answer? Do they tell you most people hit the ground running? Do they talk in specifics or generalities? You’ll get a lot of information from HOW they answer you, as well as what they say.

5. Who is responsible for my paycheck bouncing?

I deposit my paycheck every Friday from my newest job. They always hold most of my check until Saturday, which doesn’t bother me. This week, however, it hasn’t cleared. I got ahold of my bank and they said that the maker of my check had not made the funds available and has a history of bouncing checks. I will be taking to my payroll person tomorrow, but I am wondering if I need to be worried. My company just expanded and are going through a lot of changes, but the company that does the payroll is the same. Who is responsible for lack of funds?

With all the payroll companies I’m familiar with, it’s your employer who would be responsible for the lack of funds. The checks are drawn directly on their bank account, even though the payroll company issues the checks. (And really, a payroll company that bounced paychecks wouldn’t stay in business for long.)

And yes, I would be concerned. A company that bounces a check once? That’s still a big deal, but if it’s a fluke and they make good on it quickly, then fine — mistakes happen. But if happens more than once, something is going on with your company that should concern you. You and your coworkers should insist on knowing what’s going on, and what steps are being taken to ensure that all future checks go through.

6. Following up with an employer after a request for information

I know you say to never contact the employer once you apply so as not to annoy them, but I think my situation might be a bit different. I submitted my resume to an employer even though they didn’t have any vacancies and I didn’t expect any response at all, but to my surprise, they sent me an email almost immediately, asking for more details about the department I’m interested in, my availability, etc.

I responded to them but I haven’t heard anything back for four days now. Should I send a follow-up email after it’s been a week just to ask if they received my response or if they require more information? Or should I just let it go?

Four days is nothing on a hiring manager’s side. Wait two weeks and follow up then — but don’t ask if they received your response (sounds like nagging if they did) or if they need more information (assume they’ll let you know if they do). Instead, just reiterate your interest and say you’d love to talk with them if they think it might be a good fit. If you still don’t hear back, then I’d let it go.

7. Can I ask to be considered again for the job that rejected me?

I recently had an interview with a company I think I am a great fit for. The interview went well and I was pretty confident about the job. When the manager called later in the week, she pretty much raved about my answers to the questions and how much potential I have. But she didn’t give me the job, and they are relisting the position. Her reasons were: I am a bit inexperienced (I’m only a year and one contract position out of uni) and she doesn’t have the resources to mentor me.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I still think I could do this job well. Would it be appropriate for me to write her a letter addressing these concerns? I understand relisting the position means she’ll review other candidates, but if none of them work out I want to make sure she thinks about me. My concern is that this might be too aggressive.

First, I’d want to be sure you really understand her concerns and you have evidence that would truly override those concerns. If it’s just “I want this job and I know I could do it well,” you’ll come across as ignoring her clearly stated beliefs about your experience level and their inability to provide as much training as they judge you’d need. You don’t want to come across as naive or dismissive of the feedback that she was kind enough to give you. (That said, you could certainly just go with, “If you don’t end up finding someone who’s exactly what you’re looking for, I hope you’ll reach back out — I’d really love the chance to work with you.” That respects her judgment but makes your continuing interest clear.)