Ask a Manager

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How to talk about what I liked at my last job, which I hated

I need some advice about answering the interview question “what did you like about your last job?” This is the first time that this has happened where I absolutely hated my last job and have very little, if anything, positive to say about it. It was just a paycheck to me. I wouldn’t know how to answer the question. Any suggestions?

You’re going to have to make something up, or find something about the job that you generally did like and which is substantive enough to use as an answer (in other words, “they had great chips in the snack machine” isn’t enough). In formulating an answer, keep in mind that interviewers aren’t asking this question idly — they’re looking for signs in your answer of what motivates you and keeps you happy. If you say “I loved the customer interaction” and the role you’re applying for works in a closet with no human contact all day, they might be concerned about how you’ll do there. So be thoughtful about what information you’re conveying with whatever answer you come up with.

2. Was it okay to cc the hiring manager on six different thank-you’s?

I recently had a second interview that was set up by the hiring manager to give the other attorneys in the office a chance to meet with me and (I assume) see how well my personality would fit in the office. It lasted over an hour and went very well. I sent each participant a personalized thank you email, and my question was: Was it proper to CC the hiring manager on each individual email?

I made sure that I made each subject line title unique, so that it wouldn’t appear that I was spamming the manager’s inbox with 6 cut and paste emails. I also highlighted one different, distinct selling point about my experience in each individual email.

As a matter of protocol, should a hiring manager be cc’d on all correspondence to people in the company regarding your candidacy? Or should the thank you emails be sent only to the participants themselves?

Well, it’s not like there was information in each that was important for her to see (as opposed to, say, a scheduling change), so yeah, cc’ing her on six different thank-you emails was a little overkill, to be honest. I wouldn’t reject an otherwise strong candidate for it, but I’d wonder at it. And no, the hiring manager doesn’t need to be cc’d on all correspondence as a matter of general protocol — only if it’s likely to be of direct interest to her. One thank-you might be, but six wouldn’t be.

(Sorry to say this when it’s too late to change anything — but it’s also not worth stressing over now.)

3. What happened to this job offer?

I recently interviewed for an administrative position at a university. About two days after my interview, I was contacted by the HR recruiting manager and offered a job at one of the departments. The manager inquired about my interest and whether I could start the Monday after (she called me on a Friday), then assured me that she would call me within the hour once she got her response from the department that is hiring. I waited until the end of the day with no response and finally emailed her asking whether or not I may have missed her call because I was in a building all day. She replied me not long after, telling me that the department has not replied her yet and that she will contact me once she gets a response.

It has now been two weeks and I have since emailed and called her one more time (emailed on the following Tuesday and called on the Friday) to see if there are any updates for the position. I am afraid of pestering her and also afraid that I may appear like I don’t care if I don’t contact her. I have not contacted her since last Friday. What do you think I should do? She didn’t reply to my following email or call so should I take this as a bad sign and move on?

What exactly was she checking with the hiring department about? It sounds a bit like she was expressing initial interest but waiting for them to confirm that they wanted to offer you the job — and if that’s the case, this wasn’t a job offer and her wording was just confusing.

Either way, though, the answer is the same: Try one more time and then move on. You can be absolutely sure that if they want to hire you, they will get in touch at some point and let you know. But right now they’re either not prioritizing this hiring or are moving forward with other candidates — and so the best thing you can do is move on mentally and let them get back in touch with you if they want to offer you a job at some point.

4. Helping a quiet new hire who might be struggling

A new employee has been working for a project I manage for a few weeks. At his interview (I was part of the hiring committee), he came across as purposeful, intelligent, and careful and precise in his words. But after training him, I saw he demanded lots of attention to items that were frustrating to have to explain to a mid-20s professional — how to manage a calendar, how to craft a professional email, etc. Without seeking my input (I would have recommended against it, seeing that he was already uncomfortable with the current steep learning curve), his responsibilities soon doubled within weeks of being hired. He now is responsible for many aspects directly impacting the performance of my project. I have encouraged him to take ownership and be proactive and shown him how this is a great opportunity to grow within the company. He has responded by performing the work required but not really embracing the new role.

Through facial expressions and his lack of excitement, I get the sense that he is overwhelmed at the additional responsibility and perhaps annoyed or angered that he has been asked to take on a new role that he was not hired to do. I’d like to talk to him about this and have tried to initiate the conversation, but he’s just…..quiet. It’s unsettling to get no feedback, only blank states when I ask varying degrees of questions to get a sense of his happiness with the new role (or the one that he was hired to do, for that matter). I’ve asked colleagues of his to mentor him and give him tips so he feels less overwhelmed. I’ve alerted the manager to whom he directly reports about the issue, but he doesn’t really have the time or motivation to help him adjust. I’ve communicated my concerns to my director and he is aware but has yet not acted on my concerns.

Part of me says to let it go and let him communicate if he ever wants to. But I wonder if I’ve been inviting enough for this employee to come to me to voice any concerns. I’ve seen other younger employees come out of their shell and become candid and trusted advisors to me in my project with time yet much less prodding and encouragement. Do you have any advice in this case?

Well, you’ve tried everything you could try in this situation, and you’re not getting anywhere All you can really do is continue being a friendly presence so that if he wants to talk at some point, you’ll have made it clear that you’d welcome it. But you can’t make him talk to you about it, and you might actually be approaching the line where it would be inappropriate to push more.

That said, you do need to make sure that you’re getting what you need for your projects, and if you’re not, you should be straightforward with him about that (and with his manager, if it comes to that point). But you can’t really force help on someone who doesn’t want it.

5. Should I disclose that my employer is my fiancé?

My fiancé of 13 years owns a business and I more or less run the “office” portion of that business. The work that I do relates to the field of work I am applying for outside of the home. How to I add that to my applications? I can’t exactly say I’m employed or that I run a home business either. But I’d like to include it on my resume or application because the work I do for his business relates to what I am applying for. How do I go about doing this? Do I tell them he’s my employer but don’t mention that he’s my fiancé? Eventually they will find out who he is.

Put the work on your resume, but don’t offer him as a reference. If someone specifically asks to be put in touch with him for a reference, explain that you’d be glad to connect them but that he’s your fiancé and thus not likely to be an unbiased reference. People will appreciate the candor and then can decide from there whether they want to talk to him or not (most won’t).

6. Should you tell a new employer that your current employer might tell you to leave as soon as you give notice?

When negotiating a start date with a new employer, is it okay to agree on one, but then add than once you give notice to your current employer, they might dismiss you immediately and thus you’d be available to start earlier? I’m currently job searching and this could very well happen with my current company. If I tell my new employer I may be pushed out when I give notice, would that be badmouthing my current company or telling them something that isn’t their problem? I want them to know if I’d be available earlier than expected because I can’t really afford much of a gap between jobs, so I’d like to start as soon as possible if I get an offer.

Yes, it’s fine to say that, but be careful to use wording that makes it clear that they do this regularly and it’s not specific to you. For instance, you could say, “I’d like to give my employer two weeks notice, but they often prefer people to leave immediately once they give notice. If that happens, I’d be glad to start earlier.”

7. Humming, whistling, singing coworker

I work in an office environment and the guy in the cubicle next to me hums, whistles, and sings in the forenoon almost every day. What is a polite way to let him know that we would appreciate quietness?

“I’m sure you don’t realize it, but when you hum, whistle, or sing, it can be distracting and makes it hard to focus. Would you mind not doing it? Thank you.”

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Employee lied about me in a customer survey

I was recently mentioned on a negative comment in our customer service survey. I found out that this customer was really an employee who I manage. He said I was rude to our customers and that is why he would not refer anyone to the company. When I asked him to explain why he said that, he told me it was the only way people would listen to him and his problem could be solved. He added that he was told the survey was confidential and wanted to complain about this too. He claims I’ve mistreated him and feels harassed by me.

I made HR aware of this and now he has filed a proper complaint and spoken to the head of HR and now I have a meeting with him to respond to the accusations. What he claims is false and a retaliation on his part for a bad performance review, but how can I defend myself and point out that he deliberately made a false statement about me without wanting to be identified?

You don’t need to defend yourself to him. You only need to explain to HR that his statement was false, that he attempted to cloak it in anonymity by using a survey meant for customers, and that it appears to be in retaliation for his performance review. Do not go on the defensive, particularly since you haven’t done anything wrong — instead, tell HR that you need them to support you in your management of this employee and not to undermine you by leading him to believe he can undermine you with false accusations. Say this like you of course expect them to agree with you (because they should). If you sound less than confident, you risk them thinking there’s an issue here when there isn’t.

And then tell the employee that if he has concerns about you, the appropriate way to handle it is to talk to you directly, rather than posing as a customer. And then drop it because it’s too much drama to continue focusing on, and get back to focusing on his performance.

2. Companies that monitor how you organize your desk drawers and your email

I am American, but I have been living abroad for the past five years and I am married to an Italian. I have been slowly trying to convince my husband that he would like living in the U.S. and that he would do really well in a merit-based system, as opposed to what they have in Italy, which is a system so completely overrun with nepotism that most people are still underpaid or unpaid interns at age 30. But I digress.

I have two Italian friends who recently accepted jobs at a company in Chicago and they are having a miserable experience and, to be frank, I can’t blame them. Their company has random spot checks which monitor how their email folders are organized, how their desk drawers are organized, and how much time they spend in the bathroom. They also have extremely strict policies about the start and the end of the workdays and you are not allowed to respond to your cell phone (even messaging) during the work day. While the latter two policies seem overly strict to me, the former seem absolutely absurd. I have tried to convince my husband that this company is an anomaly and not the norm in the U.S., but I have been having difficulties, particularly because I haven’t lived there in a while. So my question to you is, are these policies standard in the U.S.? Do you think that a company with these kinds of rigid rules is the norm or the aberration?

These policies are not standard. They’re far, far from the norm. They key is to evaluate a company before accepting a job offer, so that you know what type of culture it has.

3. Should you really send your resume cold to hiring managers without advertised openings?

I recently listened to a job searching webinar from a person who claims to be an expert on recruiting. She said a job seeker should send their resume, unsolicited, to hiring managers instead of sending it to HR managers. She even said to do this whether or not an open position is advertised, because 80-odd percent of job openings are not publicized. Ideally, she said, a candidate should contact at least 200 managers! I cringed when I heard this, because if I were a hiring manager, the last thing I would want is a flood of incoming resumes, especially if there weren’t any open positions. Do people actually do this?

This is one of those things where it depends entirely on how you do it. Do it really well (great letter and a resume that shows a track record of achievement in exactly what they happen to need), and it can sometimes work. But do it anything less than excellently, and it’s likely to just be a waste of time. Unfortunately, most people do it less than excellently, so you have a bunch of people trying this and wasting their time.

But either way, if you’re just sending out resumes to random hiring managers, you’re going to get a lot less bang for your buck than if you were actually networking — meeting people in your field, using your connections, etc. So I’m puzzled why an expert would recommend spending so much time on this when that energy would be far better spent on a different activity.

4. My uncle’s manager won’t give him any weekends off and we never see him

My uncle’s manager clocks herself in and then leaves, and at the end of the week her hours rack up to 50 even though she does no work. We can’t have family gatherings because he can’t have off on weekends; she won’t let him. He barely gets to see his kids and the manager’s boss knows what’s going on and does nothing. There has to be something we can do. Any suggestions?

“We,” meaning you and the rest of the family? You can encourage your uncle to start applying for other jobs, but you certainly don’t have standing to do any more than that. Your uncle’s options are to (a) accept the schedule that comes with this job, (b) push back and negotiate weekends off, or (c) change jobs.

I think you want a solution that involves the boss being punished or forced to do more work, but her own boss knows the situation and doesn’t care — so this is how that workplace works.

5. Asking for contract work once an internship ends

I’m currently doing an internship. I plan to offer to contract at the end of the internship, because I’ve noticed a lot of work that I could take on and value that I can add to the organization. The problem is I’m not sure how to suggest that to them diplomatically. It’s mostly weaknesses and mistakes I could correct. For instance, a lot of the customer documentation is out of date, hard to navigate, or vaguely worded. I definitely don’t want to make people feel defensive about their work, but I want to make the case that these are problems worth paying me to fix. This is a problem that’s kind of intrinsic to technical writing and editing.

You could say, “Have you ever thought of hiring someone on contract to do XYZ? As I’ve been here, I’ve been thinking about how useful it would be to do that, and I have a good grasp on what would help now. I’d love to talk to you about what I could do in that area and how we might structure a contract for it.”

Focus on how it would help them, not on how bad their current stuff is. Be prepared to be turned down, because they haven’t felt it was a priority up until now (apparently), but it’s certainly worth asking.

6. How to draw boundaries in an unpaid internship

(This is the second part of letter-writer #5’s question.)

I’m being allowed to determine nearly everything about the projects I’m doing: scope, deadlines, hours I work, etc. Luckily my program gave me a bit of guidance on project planning, so I’m not totally floundering. I think it’s a good opportunity to demonstrate my abilities but also to set boundaries. What do you think is the best approach if my goal is to contract with the company? Give them my all, but also give them an end date beyond which I can’t do free work anymore? Or give the impression of competence and submerged knowledge, but draw boundaries around what kinds of tasks and deliverables I can offer?

You should definitely negotiate an end date and how many hours you’ll work per week until then (and ideally would have done that at the start, but if you didn’t, it’s not too late to do that now). But as for deliverables, that really depends on what you agreed to when you accepted the role. If you agreed to work on X, Y, and Z, and since this is an unpaid internship, it’s reasonable to say that you’re hesitant to do A and B without pay as well, since you’d typically charge for that type of work. But it wouldn’t be reasonable to say you won’t do Z after all, since you already agreed to that at the start. And you should do the best you can on the agreed-to work, not hold back, both because you’re trying to get contract work from them afterwards and because that’s key to building your reputation.

7. Can I use customer emails praising me when applying for jobs?

For my annual reviews, I complete a form to give my manager a friendly reminder of my accomplishments from the past year. It’s been helpful also to attach copies of emails documenting when I’ve gone above and beyond or really pleased a customer or internal representative. A recent example is of a customer emailing my boss to tell him that I saved the account from taking their business elsewhere. These sort of messages aren’t common, but I have received quite a few unsolicited. Is there a way to use these emails in applying for other jobs?

You could summarize them in a cover letter or on a resume — such as “regularly received accolades from customers for XYZ” or “convinced largest client to renew its account, when it was expected to leave.” But I wouldn’t present the emails themselves. Unless you have one that’s both over-the-top glowing (not just positive, but truly extraordinary) and detailed about why you’re so fantastic, in which case you could bring that one to an interview or forward it after a phone interview. But I wouldn’t include them otherwise.