Ask a Manager

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. My company merged with my spouse’s and now I’m being pushed to leave

Recently, both the companies that my spouse and I work for merged, with his boss taking over my company. He has been hinting to my spouse that my spouse should take over my department (both of us are in the same field, but he is management level). Day by day, bit by bit, he is asking my spouse to do my work, and is trying to get me to leave.

How can I stop this nuisance? It is very irritating. And even my spouse is asking me to leave, as he said this is making him difficult to work. Prior to this merger, were both happily working at these companies and even together on some projects. This merging has affected our relationship as well.

This isn’t a nuisance that you need to stop — this is a serious problem that requires you recognizing it for what it is and taking action: You’re being pushed out, and you need to start actively looking for another job. People do lose their jobs in mergers; that’s just the unpleasant reality of it. The new owner isn’t going about this in a particularly professional way, but his intent sounds clear, and you shouldn’t ignore it.

Start a job search, and meanwhile talk to your spouse about how the two of you can manage this situation until you’re able to leave.

2. My coworker disappears for hours at a time and I get stuck picking up the work

I work in an academic support unit at a large university. One of the people I work with has always had issues with arriving late and leaving early. We’re salaried here and usually this kind of thing evens out in the wash. Also, this person is my peer so I’ve tried to keep my head down and worry about the job I’m doing. Lately though, it’s getting worse. My coworker takes two-hour lunches on an increasingly regular basis. There have been times when we haven’t seen this person for hours at a time. Again, I would normally try not to let this bother me, but it’s starting to impact me. When my coworker isn’t around, I’m being tapped to pick up the slack. I have to take on this person’s tasks and frankly I have enough work of my own.

Our mutual supervisor is not a particularly strong manager. I’m not sure if she has no idea what’s going on or if she’s reluctant to address it with my colleague. Do I ignore this? Do I take it up with the colleague? Do I bring it to the attention of the manager? If it’s one of the latter two, I’d love some suggestions about how to do it.

Alert your manager to the impact this is having on you, by saying something like, “With Jane out of the office so much lately in the middle of the day or coming in late or leaving early, I’m increasingly being asked to do things that she would normally cover if she were here. It’s impacting my ability to focus on the rest of my work. How would you like me to handle this?” That’s not a complaint; it’s a request for guidance. But it conveniently makes her aware of the issue if she wasn’t already. (And if she was already aware of it and just not handling it, it pushes her into doing something. Or at least it should.)

3. What to say when interviewers ask about a time I had a conflict with a coworker

One of the worst interview questions for me has always been when the interviewer asks me to tell them about a time I had a conflict with a coworker, and how it was resolved. This one tends to make me freeze up, to some degree, because I always feel like they’re looking for a really solid example. Part of the problem for me in answering this is that I tend to be very laid back and flexible about changes in schedules, methodology, or project requirements, as long as those things are able to be accommodated and are not an incorrect way of doing the job.

As a result, pretty much all of my “conflicts” are the kind of minor, interpersonal annoyances, the things that people get into each other about when they end up working closely and spending unusual amounts of time in each others presence during a project. The kind of things that, once you get apart and calmed down from the stress, both sides realize was silly, and toss it by the wayside. Does explaining that make an acceptable answer to that question, or do I really need to try and dredge my memory for some fleeting occurrence that would be considered more serious?

Well, if you’re been in the workforce for a while, interviewers may be skeptical that you’ve really never encountered a major significant conflict — or may wonder why you’ve never felt strongly enough to push back on something with a colleague. They’re not looking for stories of major fights and confrontations (those are generally red flags), but rather to hear about how you’ve handled it when you needed to advocate for your point of view or pushed back to get something you needed. I bet there have been times you’ve done that, and you’re overlooking them because you’re defining “conflict” as messy drama, when it really can be much more along the lines of simply advocating a particular viewpoint or making the case for something.

4. Should I mention my layoff in my cover letter?

In my cover letter, do I mention that I was laid off from my last job and why? I am not ashamed of the layoff, though I understand the closed-mindedness of some first-line folks that may see the letter/resume.

I have a newer entry in the employment section of my resume that reflects my status as a freelance consultant, as I picked up some very short term work that way, so the job I was laid off from is not at the top of the employment section anymore.

There’s no need to mention it in your cover letter — not because of any stigma, but because it’s just not something hugely relevant in a cover letter, which should instead be focused on explaining why you think you’d excel in the job. If asked in an interview why you left your last job, you can be straightforward about the fact that it was a layoff — but there’s no need to raise it proactively.

5. Should you have a reason to make a lateral move?

Generally speaking, how do you feel about job changes that are basically just lateral moves? Do you think someone should have a compelling reason to do it (dislike your boss, easier commute, etc.)? Do you think a lateral move can look bad on a resume?

Obviously, I have an opportunity to make a lateral move to a different (but same field) organization. My title would be worse (from director to manager) but I’d be going from a small organization to a much larger and more prestigious one. I’ve done a ton of thinking and comparing and just want to make sure I’m not doing myself a disservice by considering what comes out to be just a lateral move. I’ve been in my current role for three years if that helps.

I wouldn’t make a bunch of lateral moves in a row, but one shouldn’t hurt you, particularly if you can explain your motivation — and moving from a small organizer to a larger and more prestigious one is a perfectly good reason. In general, I wouldn’t say that you have to have a reason — simply wanting something new after a few years is reasonable motivation — but it helps if you can put it in an overall narrative that makes sense to future interviewers.

6. Should I mention in my cover letter that I can’t make the pre-set interview date?

I am just finishing my doctorate in history and am looking for an academic position in the United Kingdom. I just saw a part-time fixed term position posted in my area of expertise, my desired city, and at my level. My dilemma is that academic posts in the U.K. (and some others) often post the planned interview day for the position. In my experience previously working in academic administration, this is often difficult to change since the interviewers might have hectic schedules and be difficult to gather in one place. This one has listed an interview date, and unfortunately it is three days into a long-planned trip abroad to see my partner’s family (as in an expensive, non-refundable trip, and so far we haven’t seen them in two years).

I realize that I might not even be offered an interview, but should I mention that I can’t make the interview date in the cover letter and suggest alternatives, such as Skype or an interview the week before? This feels presumptuous to me and I am concerned that I will come across as difficult and so will be thrown out of the pile if I do. If I don’t, I wonder if it signals that I haven’t read the ad thoroughly and don’t pay attention to detail. It seems a shame not to even throw my hat into the ring because of a scheduling problem. Is the best way to handle it, if and when they offer an interview or to mention it in the cover letter?

Don’t mention it in the cover letter — that would be giving them a reason to discard you before really reviewing your candidacy. Wait to see if they offer you an interview, and explain it then. It’s not going to look like an attention to detail problem, since they’ll have no idea when you made your reservations. Your trip could have been planned after you applied; it wouldn’t be reasonable to put all life plans on hold for an interview you haven’t even been offered yet, after all.

7. How many jobs should I include on my resume when my job history is a mishmash?

I really struggle with how many jobs to include on my resume. The problem is that for the most part I’ve done a little bit at a lot of places. Think a mishmash of part-time jobs, temporary and seasonal jobs, internships, grad school projects that had real-world deliverables, etc. I know I’d be in a much stronger position if it were otherwise, but…it is what it is.

I’ve been going with a two-page resume– I can easily get there without filler, but it’s sort of a “see what sticks” approach that covers a whole lot of bases but could also leave a hiring manager unsure what the takeaway is. Interviews have been few in coming, so I’m trying to switch approaches and scale back to a one-pager. But when I do that, it feels so sparse, even just in terms of the chronological employment gaps that result from pruning out jobs. Is it generally understood that a resume might be a “greatest hits” rather than an almanac? Is it weird to mention skills/jobs/accomplishments in my cover letter that are nowhere to be seen in my resume?

It is indeed understood that your resume might only contain particularly relevant or impressive experience and not everything you’ve ever done … but at the same time, you don’t want to have unexplained gaps of much length. You also don’t want to mention skills/jobs/accomplishments in your cover letter that aren’t on your resume, or you’ll confuse or even frustrate the person reading it (who won’t understand why that experience isn’t on your resume). A two-page resume is fine if you’re more than a few years out of school (if not, then you really just need to edit more brutally), but you could also consider tailoring each resume to the job you’re applying for — removing whatever isn’t well-matched with that particular role (again, as long as you’re not leaving major holes).

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Recruiter suggested paying for a pre-employment test study guide

My partner is looking for a job and was recently contacted by a recruiter. She was given an official application to complete as well as a link to an assessment. The recruiter highly suggested that she download and use the study guide prior to taking the assessment. The catch: the study guide is $18. While that is not a lot of money, I’ve never heard of having to pay for a study guide for a pre-employment test and never had to do so. In fact, I just began a new job that required a test but no study guide was offered (you either know it or your don’t) and the test was free of charge to me.

Is paying for the study guide for a pre-employment test standard now? I have googled both the recruiter’s company and his name but have found very little. I suggested that she get the name of the organziation that he is recruiting for and confirm that his company is working on their behalf. Did I give her good advice?

Paying for a study guide for something like this is absolutely not normal. In fact, it’s the sign of a scam. Under no circumstances should she pay for the study guide — and she should be prepared for there to be no real job either.

2. Asking about your chances as a candidate before going on a different interview

My husband is looking for a new job and had 2 interviews last week! The first interview was over Skype with a job that would take us to a completely different state. The second was at a place where he has previously worked that is a few hours away from where we are currently living.

The first job called today to ask him to be one of 4 candidates to come for an in-person interview. This would mean flying and we would be covering the cost of the plane ticket. The second job told him they were doing background checks and would let all the candidates know yes or no in 2 weeks. The two people who conducted the interview for the second job are my husband’s former colleagues with whom we have always been very friendly. He does not want to seem unprofessional but also, I think, would prefer the second job over the first.

Would it be inappropriate for him to send an email asking about his chances as a candidate or at least making them aware of the situation with the other job? Or is it best to just wait out the two weeks without saying anything and send him out of state for this interview to keep all options open?

I wouldn’t send that email, because (a) it will put them in an awkward position by implying he’s hoping to use his insider status to get insider information and (b) it probably won’t give him useful information anyway. They’re not ready to give a definitive yes, and so the best they could tell you is that he’s a maybe or a no — either of which would point toward your husband flying out for the interview with the other job. So he might as well just move forward with that interview without bugging his former coworkers for an answer that they’re not ready to supply.

3. Manager mentioned that I’ve called out sick a lot this year

I called out sick this week for 1 day. When I called in, one of my managers told me that I have been doing that a lot lately. That caught me off guard, but I answered politely and we ended the conversation. As I sat there, I tried to remember all of the times I have called out and why. I could only recall only 3 times this year, all due to illness; this time, I had a significant fever. Granted, it was always that manager who answered when I called, but is that a lot in one year? Not only that, I work for an ambulance service. If I came into work ill, is that not the definition of negligence?

Three times in seven months isn’t hugely excessive, although it’s more frequent than a lot of people do. Your manager handled it badly, though — if she’s concerned, she should address it directly with you, not make an off-hand remark like she did. If you’re concerned, go talk to her about it when you’re back in. Say something like, “I’ve taken three sick days this year, all when I was legitimately ill, and I didn’t think that was excessive. But do you have concerns about my attendance?”

4. Do I still have a job offer?

I am an international student in Europe who just received a job offer. The procedure was as follows. The HR manager interviewed me (first phone and then Skype the same day), and that went well, and she told me I’d have a Skype interview with the head manager which took place very quick, a day after interviewing with the HR manager. Minutes after the Skype interview, the HR manager calls me and says I have a job offer and that she will email me the details the next day.

However, the next day rolls around and instead, I receive an e-mail asking for a motivation letter of exactly why I want the job and how committed I am (she stated it was because hiring internationals is very expensive so they want to make sure I’m dedicated). That was Wednesday. I sent my letter Thursday. Now, it’s four days later. I haven’t heard anything from them, and I’m getting increasingly nervous. What do you think happened? Is the offer still there? I sent an additional email after the motivation letter, but still no response!

It’s something of a contradiction that they want to make sure you’re dedicated, but their hiring process is so haphazard that they’ll make a job offer to you seconds after interviewing you. And then put it on hold a day later when they decide they have more questions. I’d actually be questioning whether you want to work for them at all, given how sloppy, cavalier, and disorganized they seem, especially if an international move is involved.

I’d wait a week from your last contact to follow up, and then if you still don’t hear anything, I’d move on.

5. How much of a salary hit should I take when moving from a start-up to an established nonprofit?

I have been interviewing for a role at a very established nonprofit organization that is technically a step down from my current position at a start-up nonprofit. I went into the interview process knowing that I would be taking a hit on the salary side as well as on the title, but decided to move forward anyway because I thought a slight decrease in pay a) should be expected and b) was something I could handle. The HR rep I spoke to before I started interviewing ask me about my willingness to take a pay cut and I responded that I would be willing to take about $10K less than what I am currently making.

The interview process went really well and I was offered the job, but the salary offer came in about $20K lower than my current salary. I was told (after trying to negotiate up to my original number) that their starting salaries are non-negotiable (this was confirmed by HR).

The job feels like a really great fit and I would be really sad to turn it down, but I don’t think that is a realistic size of a pay cut to take, even for the stability of an established organization. I would love to hear your thoughts on if I am being too picky or if this is a completely standard size pay cut to take when making a move like this.

It’s really hard to say — nonprofit salaries vary widely. Some are competitive with for-profit salaries, others are a bit below, and others are far below. So unfortunately, there’s not an overall standard that you can use. Ultimately, you really just need to decide if you’re willing to take that large of a pay cut in exchange for whatever you’ll be getting in it.

(If it helps, you can look at the organization’s 990s on Guidestar to get a better sense of their finances and what their highest-paid people make.)

6. What information to list for references

Whenever I have to give a list of professional references, I’m always confused as to what to put for my reference’s relationship to myself. If these are former colleagues, do I list the position that person held when we worked together (and the company we were employed at) or their current position and company? Does it matter?

Yes, you want to explain what their relationship was to you when you worked together. List their title from when you worked together and the company where that happened. If they’ve since moved on to another job, you can add a parenthetical note explaining that, as well as any other context that will be helpful. For instance:

Jane Smith, Director of Special Projects, Teapots Inc. (Jane was my manager when I worked at Teapots Inc. but moved on to Saucers Ltd. last year)

7. Do I need to disclose my side business before accepting a job offer?

I am expecting a job offer for an administrative assistant position at a company that teaches English as a second language. I am also planning to do some tutoring on my own outside of work — both ESL and a foreign language I speak. Am I obligated to disclose my tutoring business before accepting this type of job? (I wouldn’t mention anything before receiving an offer.)

I don’t see it as a conflict because I would be tutoring people already in the area on a one-on-one basis. The (very large) company brings people from overseas and organizes formal classes. I also would be sure not to mention my business to any clients of the company. I feel I am within my rights to keep my business to myself, but it’s possible the company could eventually find out and I don’t want to be seen as sneaky, or as a competitor and risk losing my job. If I disclose it up front, I am afraid they may rescind the offer. It might be worth mentioning that my business is very small at the moment — I have less than 5 students.

Yes, you should mention it. If there’s any chance that they could rescind the offer over that, you want to know that NOW — not get fired for it later on after you’ve already started. Many companies have a conflict of interest policy that arrangements like this could violate; on the other hand, their policy might simply require that you disclose the work. Either way, you’re better off being up-front and finding out their stance on side work.

It’s seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How can I help an employee who suffers from anxiety?

How can I help an employee who is suffering from anxiety? The employee in question is a very hardworking, very conscientious employee but she suffers from excessive worry and anxiety. This isn’t my diagnosis — she told me she’s taking advantage of our employee assistance program and getting help with it. However, part of her illness is that she worries — a lot — and doesn’t always have a good sense of perspective on what’s worth worrying about and what’s not. I understand this, as I’ve been there as well.

The way this manifests is that she frequently asks me if she’s messed something up, or made mistakes, and she seeks constant reassurance. I am very good about giving feedback, positive and negative, so she knows that I’ll tell her if there’s a problem. But I think the illness is clouding her ability to really accept that. So how do I work this? I don’t mind giving reassurance, but I don’t think it’s really helping. Is there something else I should be doing?

Well, you can certainly be reassuring and positive when she asks you if she’s made mistakes or messed something up. And if you’re willing to look for additional ways to help, you could ask her directly what, if anything, she would find helpful. But you’re probably right that the anxiety is clouding her ability to really accept it when you tell her that she’s doing fine, and that’s a problem that you’re not going to be able to fix for her — she’s got to do that on her own (and with the help of a therapist, as she’s doing).

I’d just keep boundaries in mind here — being calm, reassuring, and positive about her strengths is good, but going beyond that to find ways to help her believe you isn’t your role. (And in fact could be counterproductive, since she’ll be held back professionally if she starts to lean on you for that type of support.)

2. Will taking an politically ideological job harm my friend when he leans in the other direction?

My friend and I recently graduated college. He is currently searching for jobs/internships in the political research field (in the D.C. area). He is in the late stages of the interview process for a job with an international think tank that ideologically leans far in one direction. While my friend is willing to work for a political organization whose beliefs he doesn’t totally agree with (he also has had interviews with politicians from “the other side” and has no problem with this because he wants the job experience), he is concerned that this will affect his future job prospects. He eventually wants to work for an organization that leans in the other direction of this divisive issue.

This job would pay very well and he could probably pay off his student loans in two years. The job itself is great and plays to his strengths; it’s just the opposite ideology of what he wants. If he gets this job offer, do you think it would be worth it to take it? The alternative is probably taking an unpaid internship or even a minimum wage job. Will it affect his future job prospects negatively if he does?

If he ultimately wants a job with an organization on the other side of this issue, yes, it could be an obstacle. He can explain that he took the job solely for the work experience, but he risks that not going over over well with the organization he ultimately wants to work for — because to many people (not all, but many), that will look like  wishy-washiness or  a mercenariness that’s at odds with the commitment to their objectives that they’re probably looking for. In D.C. and in politics/advocacy work in general, you generally pick a side. You certainly can switch, but then the switch becomes part of your story — “I went where they’d hire me” doesn’t usually sell well.

(To further illustrate this: When I was working on drug policy issues, I would have considered a candidate who used to work to imprison people for marijuana use if that person had come to realize they’d been on the wrong side of that fight, and if they could talk thoughtfully about the change in their stance. I would probably not have considered that person if they just said, “Well, that’s just where I could get a job, even though I didn’t agree with it.” Some types of work require backbone.)

3. My manager accused me of fraud for correcting my timesheet

I am in charge of timesheets and leave forms. I hand them to my manager and she normally hands them back to me in a day or two. Recently, she had taken a long time with them, so one morning she hadn’t come in so I decided to go and look for them. I found them and saw that she had already signed them so I removed them. When I did, I saw that my timesheet had a few errors that she had pointed out. I then immediately corrected it and on the timesheet wrote a note thanking her for pointing out the mistakes and told her that I had corrected it on the timesheet as well as on Oracle.

She was furious and accused me of fraud and asked me who gave me permission to take things off her desk. If I was trying to defraud the system, I would have removed even the paper that she had made the corrections on and then she wouldnt have any evidence, but that really wasn’t my intention. I really did not intend to do anything that she is accusing me of. I would just like to know what my rights are in this case.

Legally? None. Your manager is allowed to be angry at you and even allowed to wrongly accuse you; this stuff isn’t governed by the same rules that cover the justice system.

I’d focus instead on how to resolve the situation. While her response sounds like an overreaction (although she’s entitled to be disturbed that you went through her papers and took things off her desk without permission) and the fraud accusation is silly given the context, just explain to her that that absolutely wasn’t your intention and that you tried to be extremely transparent by leaving her a note about what you had changed, but that you understand now that she doesn’t want you handling things that way and you won’t do it in the future.

4. Responding to a next-day interview invitation when I’m not a local candidate

I’m in the middle of a job search, and while I currently live in Colorado, I’m looking for jobs all over the country. Some of the jobs for which I’m applying are in Boston, and with family in the area, I was debating using their address when applying to these Boston jobs.

In an old post, you mentioned “Consider going a step further and using a local address. Many out-of-town candidates use the local address of family or friends who live in the area. But be prepared to explain when you’re called and invited to come in for an interview ‘tomorrow.'” Do you have any advice on what to say if you’re called in to interview “tomorrow” when you’re actually in Colorado, not outside of Boston?

Just be straightforward and say whatever you can to minimize any inconvenience for them. For instance: “I’m currently in Colorado, but I could be there by early next week to interview.”

5. I just started a new job — and just found out I’m pregnant

I just relocated to a new city, new job. They even paid the relocation. I love it, everything is great. I have recently figured out I am (surprise!) pregnant again… and now I have been here in the new job a whole 3 weeks and am faced with telling my new boss I am about 3 months pregnant. When do I tell her? Is now better than a few weeks from now? What’s the chances she is going to be mad, or feel like I hid this from her? I am pretty much hiding it from everyone since I am shocked this happened!

I’d tell her now. The earlier you tell her, the earlier she can start planning for how your leave will be handled. And while you’re under no obligation to do this, I think this will go better for you if you tell her that had no idea when you accepted the job and just found out yourself. Otherwise, yes, it will look like you knew earlier and didn’t mention it, even after you had an offer. (They couldn’t legally have let that information affect their hiring decision anyway, but it will look like you weren’t up-front with them and it’s human nature to be bothered by that, whether or not they should be.) Tell her soon, and present a proposed plan for your leave when you do. Hopefully she’ll be happy for you — and if not, you’ll have just learned something valuable about your new boss.

And congratulations.

Read an update to this letter here.

6. Applying directly to the hiring manager rather than through an electronic system

With the hundreds of job applications for a given posting, would it be okay to figure out who the hiring manager is in the instance that their name isn’t posted (using Google, LinkedIn, etc.), and email the person your resume and cover letter directly? Would that show resourcefulness or would that just come across as stalker-ish? It’s exhausting to fill out those online applications knowing that your information will likely be ignored or overlooked by (potentially) a junior HR person who was given the task to sort through applications.

You can do that, but be aware that it won’t really look all that resourceful. People are rarely blown away by an ability to use LinkedIn or Google. They’re usually either neutral or mildly annoyed that you didn’t follow their application instructions (and will generally simply forward your application to HR or tell you to apply directly).

If it has any advantage, it’s that if you’re a really great candidate, the hiring manager might add a note to HR telling them that you look worth interviewing.

7. Can I list just some of my work experience on my resume?

I work in the arts, and have led sort of a “double life” where I worked in both an administrative capacity, in addition to contract and freelance work as a teaching artist, performer, and writer. I am trying to transition into an administrative role (preferably in the arts, but I’m open to other industries), and I’m uncertain of what’s the best way to approach my resume. Is it okay if I do a “select work experience” section that only lists relative administrative work? Or will what look like gaps (where I may have had a teaching contract, etc.) be a red flag? I know that I can explain my desire to shift gears adequately in my cover letter, I just don’t want my resume to cause any concerns.

Sure, that’s fine to do. Many people do that and call it Relevant Work Experience.