Ask a Manager

It’s wee answer Wednesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. My interviewer wants to know what questions to ask me

I have an interview tomorrow and have been asked to write down and bring five questions that I want to be asked. That’s the first time I’ve seen that. Any thoughts?

It’s a kind of cheesy way of saying, “What should we know about you?” But it’s a good opportunity to make sure that lackluster interview questions won’t get in the way of you demonstrating your qualifications. I’d use questions focused on things like “Tell me your experience doing ___” or “tell me about a time that you had to (fill in the blank with a key skill the position requires)” — things that will let you showcase what you’d bring to the role. And then obviously, be prepared with great answers to the questions you bring.

2. Visible bruises at work

I was reading a blog post about a woman who frequently came to work with bruises from mountain biking, and it got me thinking about the topic of scrapes and bruises in the office. I get a lot of bruises on my legs from powerlifting, but I never wear skirts in the workplace anyway, so it’s never been an issue, but I do sometimes wear dresses at conferences and networking events. I live in a major city in the South, where bare legs and arms are very common. What do you think?

Interesting topic — I’ve never thought much about it! My initial take is that anything more than very minor bruises or scrapes is indeed generally going to look unprofessional if they’re on an easily covered area like arms and legs. (And assuming, obviously, that you’re not recovering from a major injury.) I can’t defend that stance at all though, and would love to hear what others think.

3. Can I ask my friend to recommend for me for a position at her new company?

I am applying for a job at a company, and I recently found out that a friend of mine whom I’ve worked with on a semi-professional capacity (babysitting and her wedding shower) recently got a job with the company. I have made it through the first round of interviews, and I was wondering if it would help to have her give a recommendation. The only thing is, she is really new with the company (still in training for her position). Would it be asking too much of her to ask for a recommendation, and would the recruiter take her recommendation as worth much since she’s still pretty new to the company herself?

It wouldn’t be asking too much of her, but you should make it very easy for her to say no if she’s not comfortable with it.

Her recommendation won’t carry as much weight as someone with an established track record there, but it will still count — having someone they’ve determined to be intelligent and sane vouch for your intelligence and sanity is valuable. That said, I don’t think she can really vouch for your *work* — babysitting and planning a shower don’t really allow for that (unless your field is child care or event planning), but she can certainly say, “I think my friend Jane might be good for this. She’s smart and savvy and has great experience.”

4. Can I get this employer to allow me a more flexible schedule to attend school?

I am finishing a career-relevant graduate degree in a part-time, evening program. During interviews for a job, I was asked multiple times how I intend to juggle school and work. I emphasized that the classes are at night and that I’ve had no problem balancing the two before. They told me that the company is typically not flexible, with most people working 8 am-5 pm.

I was just offered the job and would love to accept. But I also just learned that twice a week, I will need to be at school around 5 pm, requiring me to leave the office by 4.15. Of course, I’d arrive early those days and could work extended hours on non-school days. Do you think there is any chance for negotiating this with my potential employer, and do you have any tips for doing it? I’ll note that the job is not in sales or any position requiring customer interaction during normal business hours.

All you can do is ask. It sounds like they were foreshadowing for you that they might not be able to offer you flexibility, but there’s no reason not to ask, and they might say yes. I would stay away from trying to push it, though, if the initial answer isn’t yes — even if you make a great argument for it (the position doesn’t work with customers, etc.), you don’t want to push your way into this if they’re not truly receptive to it, because that’s a recipe for ending up in a situation where technically have the flexibility but in reality are judged and penalized for it. So just ask and see what they say, but don’t push it too hard.

5. Can my workplace ban me from the premises when I quit?

I just quit my job as a server last week. When I was walking out, my manager told me I would not be allowed back to the restaurant for 3 months. Is that legal? I could understand if I was fired.

Sure. They can’t ban you from their premises for reasons like race, religion, or other protected class, but they can ban you just because they don’t like having former employees around. I don’t quite understand their reasoning for it though, unless they assume that you’ll come by and distract their remaining staff by socializing.

6. My manager and coworkers use my email while I’m away

What is the proper policy when going on vacation for your email? Mine is being hacked by my manager and fellow employees. Normally I set my email to an “out of office” auto response so the sender knows I am out of office and it gives other contact information for my company if necessary. I also check my email occasionally from home or travel. This has worked for well over 10 years. But recently when I am away, my manager changes my password and opens my email and computer for anyone in the office to use. As there is sensitive information on my computer and I am held accountable for work I complete, I don’t like the idea of people having access that can create mistakes, especially since there is a lot of back-biting in the office. Anyone can access information on my computer they need through our shared network without hacking into my computer. Am I wrong?

Nope, and I don’t think most people would like that. You can certainly talk to your manager and express your concerns. Try to figure out what they need while you’re away that they’re using this method to accomplish, and see if you can suggest alternatives. Ultimately this is your manager’s call, but it’s certainly reasonable to speak up about your concerns. (I would not, however, use terms like “hacking,” since that implies illegal access, which isn’t what’s going on here.)

Read an update to this letter here.

7. Reaching out to other employees at a company I’m interviewing at

I currently work in one state, but I am planning on moving back to another state I previously lived in (primarily for personal finance reasons). I’m in the process of interviewing with a company that seems like it aligns with what I like in a culture, my work experience thus far, and what I’m looking to get out of the next step in my career. This company has offices in multiple cities, and so I’ve spoken to the HR person who works out of the office in my city and one of the HR people who works in one of the other offices in the country, who has a slightly closer relationship to the group that works in the city I’m moving to. Both, of course, have expressed that this is a unique opportunity, and I think have been pretty honest about both the benefits and draws of this position.

Would it be terribly inappropriate to reach out to someone on LinkedIn who currently works for that company in a position very similar to the one I’m interviewing for with questions about their personal experience there? Or would it come off as trying to get an in with them (which it wouldn’t be, I just think it’s always good to hear from the people who do the work every day in addition to those who are responsible for filling open positions)? I just want to be sure since I’m interviewing from afar and therefore it can be difficult to tell without visiting an office.

I wouldn’t do it at this stage, although it’s something you could do later in the process if you’re a finalist or if you get an offer. Otherwise, yes, it does come across as trying to get a backdoor “in,” going outside their established process, and using their employees’ time before they’ve determined that you’re enough of a serious contender that they’d want you doing that. But it’s definitely something you can ask about later on in the process.

It’s tiny answer Tuesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How much does nervousness matter in job interviews?

I am a recent college graduate who, by now, has been on many interviews. I recently heard from a friend at a company where I made it to the final round of interviews (which included 4 hours and 5 different interviewers) that I was their number one candidate and everyone really liked me. The catch? I was nervous during one of the interviews. What is your measure or idea on nervousness during an interview? Is it really a deal breaker? I understand sweating, shaking, and being unable to answer a simple question as too nervous, but where is the line drawn? Some background on that particular time, I was in the middle of finals period for my final semester of school.

Whether or not nervousness matters depends on (a) the job and (b) the way it impacted your interviewing. Nervousness can be a problem if the role really requires someone unflappable — for instance, in a role that deals with high-pressure situations, difficult people, or lots of public speaking. It can also be a problem if your nervousness prevents the interviewer from being able to get a solid sense of who you are.

In your particular case, I think we’d both need more context to make this feedback useful in any way. It might be worth asking your friend if she can give you a better sense of exactly what the concern was.

2. Managing an employee who doesn’t communicate well

I thought that maybe you or your readers would have some suggestions for helping me work with an employee who doesn’t communicate well. To give you some background, I work in a fairly specialized industry and this employee has many more years of experience in this industry than I do. My role is more “managerial” and big picture and I am rarely involved in day to day tasks. This employee is very responsible, professional, and conscientious, but I very often have a very hard time understanding what he is trying to say. His pronunciation is clear, but the words just don’t make sense! It does not matter if the subject matter is specific and technical, or even something as general as his pets or vacation time. His verbs, pronouns and nouns don’t agree with each other, and it seems like he really talks in a “word salad.”

Every interaction takes much longer than it should and I have come to dread discussing anything work related. I have tried to communicate by email, but his writing is even worse than his oral communication. I also tell him when I don’t understand what he is saying, and he eventually (but not always) explains himself, but his overall communication the next time will still be extremely vague and confusing.

I am honestly at a loss at how to get him to communicate better. I really have never had this problem with anyone else in my professional or personal life. All of the other employees have the same issues with him, so I don’t think it’s me.

Have you talked to him about the problem? That’s where I’d start; he may not even know it’s an issue. Alternately, he might be painfully aware, and it might be linked to a disability, for all we know. If it’s not, though, then it’s certainly something that you can give him feedback on and ask him to work on improving. That said, this doesn’t sound like something he’s going to be able to change quickly — so you might need to decide if this is something you’re willing to live with or not. (I’m hard pressed to think of how this wouldn’t get hugely in the way of him being able to do his job effectively, but I suppose it’s possible that he does a type of work where it doesn’t.)

3. How to tell your coworkers to stop trying to draw you into office drama

I am new at my job. I like my job. I like my boss. I like my colleagues. But my colleagues do not like my boss and have been quite vocal about it in the office. The boss (along with management) seemed to have cracked down on the loud complaining, and the sniping seems to have stopped in recent weeks. But in the past couple of days, some of the complaining colleagues have decided to approach me and try to rope me in to their dislike of my boss.

It is none of my business who likes or dislikes whom in the office and I don’t want to make it my business. But the attempts at pulling me in to the intrigue and drama by those who dislike my boss is getting to be very annoying, and my attempts at ignoring them seems to have just made them bolder in trying to rope me in.

Should I just be straightforward with my colleagues and say something like: “I realize you dislike XXX and that is your business if you do. I don’t want to be involved in any office drama or conflict. I just want to do my job, earn my paycheck, and live my life outside of work. I don’t want or need any additional stress in my life. So please stop trying to bring me into your conflict with XXX. I am simply not interested.”

Is direct the way to go in this type of situation? Do it privately or say it so people can hear so there is no ambiguity where I stand?

That’s a bit too much, I think, particularly the last part of it. I don’t think you need such a formal statement. You could simply say, “I realize you don’t like Jane, but I don’t have a problem with her, and I want to stay out of any conflict.” If pressed further, you could add, “I really don’t want to be involved in any conflict — I just want to do my job and get along with everyone as best as I can.”

Be prepared, of course, for that to make them dislike you too. If you want to ward that off, you could go with a more low-key approach — ignoring it when you can and nicely saying “I don’t want to get involved” when you can’t.

4. Can I accept a job offer but warn them that I’m still hoping to hear back about a different job?

I recently graduated and started applying for work. I just got a job offer from a small energy company. It is a company that isn’t really in line with my interests, but is still something I could see myself doing for a couple years. However, I also applied for a job that I think would be my dream job working for the university I graduated from. I applied a very short time ago (well within the point where they still may give me a call), and I’m afraid that if I accept this position they’re going to call me in a few weeks and I might get an interview and the job.

So my question is, if I accept this position, should I tell them that I’ve also applied somewhere else and its my dream job and if they call I would be very interested in taking that position? Or should I accept the offer and give up on the other job?

You can’t accept an offer with a caveat that you might change your mind and take a different offer later. You have to either take this one now and accept that you’re not going to pursue the other one, or turn it down. Keep in mind that the other position hasn’t even reached out to you yet and might never do so. And also keep in mind that you have no idea whether it’s your dream job or not. (Statistically speaking, it’s almost certainly not.)

5. How to word an email after an interviewer misses your scheduled phone call

While job hunting, I’ve had several experiences now of getting stood up on phone interviews. Via email, I’ll have scheduled a phone interview with someone, and then never get a call. Each time, I then agonize over how to write a follow-up email without seeming too passive or too aggressive (or passive-aggressive, of course). Could you recommend an approach toward these follow-up emails?

Yep, it’s very common and very rude.

Your email should say this: “We had a phone interview scheduled for 3:00 today, and I’m checking in since I didn’t hear from you. I’d love to speak with you about this position; would you be available to reschedule for later this week?”

6. How to reward high performers when you can’t give raises

I am not in a position where I can offer raises as rewards to high-performing members of my staff. I work at a university where budget is pretty tight, and my boss, while understanding of my predicament (he’s worked with one of my high-performers for much longer than I have and is in agreement that she is underpaid), has made it pretty clear that there’s no room in the budget.

How can I reward my high-performing staff when my hands are tied about raises? The university’s HR has a supply of university-sanctioned goodies, i.e. water bottles, umbrellas, etc. with the university logo on them, and in our management training with HR, they suggest we use these. Frankly, I find saying, “you do great work! here’s a water bottle!” to be demeaning, but since I’m pretty new to management in general, I’m not sure what to do in this type of situation.

Ask them. Tell them that you don’t have the flexibility you’d like on raises, but that you want to find other ways to recognize good work, and ask what would be meaningful to them. You might hear about other things that would be within your power to do, whether it’s flexible work schedules, additional time off, training opportunities, or who knows what. (And yes, plenty of these may be out of your hands too, but you should ask the question and find out, and you should advocate to your boss for the ones that seem reasonable and doable to you.)

Water bottles and umbrellas should not be part of this. Your university’s HR system needs a good shaking.

7. Should I tell my manager I might need to live out of my car?

I have found myself in a situation. I have spent the last two years living with a married couple that have a lot of issues with their marriage. The husband recently decided to purchase a house that is located about an hour and 15 minutes from where I work. I work part-time in two positions at the community college where I work, and go to school full-time to get a four-year degree. I don’t have the money to make this daily commute from the new residence. I also don’t make enough to get an apartment on my own. As it stands right now, I usually have to choose between buying groceries (I have to feed all three of us) or gas to get to work.

My only option at this point is to live out of my car. I’ve called around to agencies that help people in this position, and the basic consensus has been that I just make a little too much, and that I have a car that is worth more than $2,000 so they can’t help me. I had one person tell me to have a baby and I will get help. What I want to know is, do I disclose this to my manager? If nothing works out, I may have to suddenly pack up and leave, as I have no family in the area and may have to go live with someone, and I know that while that will look negatively on me, I don’t want her to think that I suddenly decided to walk out on the job.

How awful. I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I don’t think you’re obligated to talk to your manager just in case you suddenly need to leave the area (because you could just talk to her at that point if it happened), but I think you should consider talking to her if she’s someone you trust and feel comfortable talking with — in part because she may be able to help you find additional sources of help.

I wonder if it might also make sense to put school on hold if that would allow you to temporarily work more hours / bring in more income, until you get through this patch. Other possibilities to think about: Can you find someone else who needs a roommate? If you’re in a metropolitan area, there are usually lots of housing options with roommates, even though they’d be strangers. If your employer has an EAP, can you check with them for advice and resources? What other advice do people have?