my friend lied to my boss, asking candidates to apply for a different role, and more

It’s fast answer Friday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Suggesting to job candidates that they apply for a different role

My company often has applications that come in for one role, but we think are better for another. After contacting the candidate and explaining about the better fit, there are times that the proposed role is turned down – wrong location, too junior, etc. These candidates are then asking to be reconsidered for the spot they originally applied for – but we’ve already marked them off as unsuitable for that position. Whats the right way to respond to this? I think I’m being pretty clear about it – I start the initial email conversation along the lines of “we don’t think you’re the right fit for Chocolate Teapot Painter, but Chocolate Cup Designer would be a more appropriate role for you here”.

Is there a better way to communicate this idea – that they aren’t good for role A, but can be considered for role B or nothing?

It sounds like you are being clear about it initially, but for whatever reason it’s not registering with them. So if they ask about it again, just be straightforward: “I don’t think you’re the right fit for Chocolate Teapot Painter, but we really appreciate your interest in working with us. If you do decide the Designer role might be right for you, let me know. Otherwise, best of luck in your search!”

2. My employer is sharing everyone’s performance statistics, with names attached

I have a question about sharing employee performance information. I work as a contractor, and we have a quota of materials we need to inventory every week to reach a yearly goal and get our contract renewed. Every week our statistics are collected and then handed out the following week with our full names and the amount of work we did. I am wondering if this is legal for our company to do. I am guessing they have found a loophole or something in the law but I have been thinking that sharing employee performance with all of the company employees might be slightly unethical.

No need for a loophole in the law — it’s perfectly legal to share employee performance information. As for ethics, there’s not really anything wrong with being transparent about how everyone is doing. I can see why it might make some people uncomfortable, but it’s not classified information.

3. Should I reach out to an old employer about a job I’m interested in or assume they’ll reach out to me?

I had a temporary admin assistant contract earlier this year that I got through a personal contact. I replaced the usual admin assistant for 4 months while she was assigned to a different project, and my job ended when the project was completed (I knew all of this going in).

That was a couple months ago and I’m still looking for a new job. Yesterday, I met up with the person who is currently the admin assistant because we have a common interest outside of work. She told me that she is leaving the job in July to go back to school.

I don’t know how they will go about finding someone to replace her, but I would hope that I would have a good chance since I have already worked there. But I haven’t heard from them and the current person is leaving before the end of July. How should I go about letting them know that I am interested? Should I wait for someone to contact me (it’s not certain that they will), or wait til I see a job posting? Or, should I send an email right away? If I do send the email, should I send it to the HR person, or my previous boss (who didn’t know me very well because he was very busy at the time), or another senior member of the staff who knows me better?

Do not wait for them to contact you. It’s highly likely that they never will — not due to any slight toward you, but just because that’s how this stuff often works. Reach out to them right now, with your resume and a letter of interest. Send it to HR, and cc the contact there who knows you best.

4. My acquaintance misrepresented me to get an in with my boss

I have an acquaintance who works in the same city as me but she works in a different field. (I am in fashion, and she’s in finance.) She’s very involved in auctions and charitable organizations that charge fees to attend these events. I started my job not 2 months ago. We sell high-end leather outerwear for men and women, and I am in the purchasing and sales department. When I first started this job, my acquaintance asked me in passing where it was located and what my company did, so I told her without giving it much thought.

A few days ago, I found out that she decided to contact my boss directly to tell her that maybe she could donate some pieces from her collection to her auction, and that I thought it was a great idea and that it would be great exposure because of all the “high end” people who will attend this event. My boss very excitedly approached me today and told me that we really need to get the items ready for the auction and that this will be a great opportunity for her line and thank you very much for having my friend get in touch with her. I NEVER and would never have done this, I have no idea what my acquaintance (now former) was thinking approaching my boss directly without my permission. I’ve been to these type of events before, the people are NOT “high end,” and are not the type of segment my boss would want. For the time I’ve been working there, I have a pretty good idea of where she wants to take her line and this type of event is not it.

I hate that this acquaintance used my name to get an “in” with my boss. I didn’t say anything to my boss about what I really think of this event and about me not being involved. At this point I have no idea how to explain this to her. I’ve been here for a short time and I don’t want to be involved in all this drama. How do I get her to pull out from this commitment? Also I texted my acquaintance and she claims she didn’t have time to tell me she was going to contact my boss.

It doesn’t need to be a big drama unless you treat it that way. Just say to your boss, “By the way, I was surprised to hear that Jane told you that I thought it was a great idea. I actually didn’t know anything about it until you mentioned it to me. I’m actually not convinced it’s the right way to go — I’ve been to her events and it doesn’t seem like our target audience.” But from there, it’s up to your boss whether to participate or not; don’t keep pushing the issue if she pursues it, since at that point you’ve explained your position and it’s her call.

5. Should my employer pay me for time I’m driving their vehicle to and from work?

I am required to be at my job-site from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm but I drive a company vehicle to and from work, from home. Should my employer have to pay me for the time outside of the scheduled work day that I am driving their vehicle?

I’d guess no, because they wouldn’t pay you for your commuting time if you were driving your own vehicle. (But that’s just a guess and it’s possibly there’s some context to this that I’m not considering.)

6. Am I being passed over at work?

I am currently in a weird position at work. I was originally hired to cover two positions. Another employee and I were going to switch every month. Two weeks into my job, my boss decides I am going to remain at the lower position but informs me there was room for advancement.

Now 3 months later, two people are leaving at the end of the month. At this organization, people are promoted based on seniority most of the time. My coworker who I was originally going to switch off with is being promoted to one of the vacant positions. Her position was opened but my manager decided to hire someone new. There is one remaining open position, but someone else is going to take that position and my boss hired a new person for the position she is vacating. It seems as though I am being passed over for every promotion. What do you recommend me doing? I am not sure if I should be looking for a new job.

Well, usually people aren’t promoted after three months — that’s a very short period of time. It generally takes at least a year, and usually more.

If people at your job are really getting promoted after only three months (which would be unusual, but possible), then talk to your boss. There may be some reason that you’re being passed over, or it may be bad luck. Tell her that you’re interested in advancing and ask what you can work on to be a strong candidate for that. But again, unless you’re seeing multiple other people getting promoted after less than a year, this isn’t about you and is just about tenure.

7. Should I say I have an associate’s degree or that I’ve completed “some college”?

I am actively applying for jobs now that I’m laid off. On many online job profiles, it asks what my highest level of education is. I’ve got an AA but I’m a senior in college and am close to earning my bachelor’s. What is better to put, “Associates,” or “some college”?

To me, it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other — neither is better, and they’re both about the same. I suppose an associate’s says that you have at least two years, whereas “some college” could mean one semester, but I don’t think one is notably better than the other. Anyone feel differently?

set a start date before resigning

In this post, we update the “you don’t have an offer until you have an offer” rule. A reader writes:

I am having a problem getting my new employer to agree on a start date. Once I received the formal job offer in writing, I gave notice to my current job. I contacted the new employer with the date I would be available to start. I was then sent new hire paperwork with no indication of a start date from them. I filled out and returned the paperwork, along with a note again asking when they would like me to start. HR responded, thanking me for the paperwork and cc’ing me on an email to VP of the division ( who is out of the Canada office) that I would be working for, asking him to give me a start date.

That was several days ago and still no word. I also saw via LinkedIn that the regional manager who I originally interviewed with is no longer with this company. Maybe this explains the delay in getting me started? It also concerns me that I may start with no immediate manager to report to (I will be working/traveling in field sales).

My last day at my current job ends this week. How many times do I need to ask about a start date without coming across as a pain? Needless to say, I am now unsure of this new employer. Any suggestions on a different approach?

I guess we now have to amend “don’t resign from your current job without a formal job offer that you have accepted” to “don’t resign from your current job without a formal job offer that you have accepted and a start date.”

Contact HR again and say this: “I still haven’t received a start date and am getting concerned, since I’ve already given notice at my current job. Is it possible to nail down the start date this week?”

If you don’t hear with two business days, call them. (Frankly, you could start with a phone call now if you prefer. I tend to think that email is often better because it allows them to research the situation and figure out what’s going on before responding, but there’s an argument for just getting someone on the phone and trying to find out what’s up.)

It is indeed quite possible that the departure of the person who would have been your manager is what’s causing the delay — but someone should be telling you something, even if it’s just “we’re aiming for early July, but we’re waiting to nail down an exact date until we figure out who will be training you in Jane’s absence.”

Good luck.

Read an update to this letter here.

can I expose this terrible interviewer?

A reader writes:

I had a horrendous interview experience with a large company’s senior executive (newly hired by them), and I want his behavior to be exposed. I have no qualms about burning bridges because I do not live where that company is located and I do not really work in that industry. His behavior toward me in the interview was just vile…and I think it deserves to be exposed and posted on Glass Door.

I recorded my end of the interview, which is obviously legal — and listening to it made me even more sure that his behavior was awful. I had two other people (who are critical) listen to the interview who said I answered perfectly (though the interviewer literally could not stop berating me).

Clearly, he is the one with the problem and I’d like to expose it, especially since he’s hardly even been with the company very long. If he’s the department head, this company is in for some serious problems. There are more details in the review below. Have you seen specific cases where these kinds of things bite someone in the ass? I can’t envision how it could…and if it does, I don’t really care. I am extremely qualified and have a good education (and I have a job). I don’t need him or anyone connected to him to advance my career. I am angry at the way i was treated, and I feel like there should be a way to make it public. He’s lucky I don’t use my alumni database and email executives in his company altogether.

Here’s the review I drafted:

This was one of the worst phone interview experiences I have ever had. I am a graduate of a fairly well known grad program, and I have had quite straightforward interview experiences with people in the past. Not to mention, I have a job which is decent (but I’ve known I could do better for a year now). The interviewer was awful and had some kind of chip on his shoulder for the entire painful hour. He opened with “tell me about yourself,” which is possibly the most useless way to start an interview, empirically. No data is gained from this question aside from whether or not the person has an interview coach which doesn’t correlate to job performance (or job preparedness) in any actual research on interviews. The irony is that this was the leader of the organizational performance practice – so you’d think he’d know a shred of the interviewing literature. Nope. Then, after I “told this guy about myself,” he said I “told him nothing” and said “all I got was project manager and change manager” – which is false. It’s actually recorded (on my end only, legally) and I said a lot more than that.

Another issue was the extreme impatience and inability to follow anything I said beyond two sentences. I have had to teach courses for all kinds of students and adult employees in companies, and it’s usually obvious within the first 5 minutes who the people with attention issues are. They have the same characteristic behavior pattern as this interviewer: extreme impatience, interrupting, claiming I didn’t answer when I did, asking for clarification when something was answered twice, etc. To give one example, when I am asked questions by a person who doesn’t know me or the companies I have worked for, I need to provide some context for that answer. However, a person with an attention problem will not be able to handle the context, and they will blame you and insist that you are not being “high level” enough for them. You’re not the problem. They are.

At one point, he wanted to know every MBA course I took. He was irritated that the list didn’t have a lot of finance and accounting in it. When I mentioned that I had taken a business ethics class, there was an audible grumble from his side. God forbid business ethics might be applied to this company. Did he really expect someone with my resume to have a finance background? My quant skills were clear – and reading a balance sheet is actually easier things I have done. But, since I didn’t have a strict finance background, he spent about 15 minutes trying to figure out if I could read a balance sheet and determine what the drivers of costs and revenue were. I explained the situations where I read balance sheets and contributed to them in revenue forecasts (all recorded). But, he repeatedly said I wasn’t answering the question and I was an extremely frustrating person to interview. Then, he said “I am going to give you some [unsolicited] harsh feedback about your interview skills” about 20 minutes in…which came at the end (and was no surprise since I diagnosed his problem after 5 minutes).

He then decided to doubt my PowerPoint and presentation skills for some reason, despite the fact he said he was impressed with the work I’ve done for 10 years (several for a huge consulting firm and directly for C-level execs in other cases). I also taught hundreds of people in every possible context. I think I know how to present things by now.

At the end, he said he “wasn’t sure about me” and then proceeded to berate my interview performance and the fact I was not working at a sufficiently high enough level for someone with my background (as if my career choice was that 2 dimensional). This went on for 10 minutes straight, with him saying it was his “free advice” and he “didn’t have to tell me all of this but he enjoys helping others.” I would have been better off with those 10 minutes of my life back, frankly. Finally, he said, I seemed “so smart on paper” – and I should probably have another chance. He asked me to set up an appointment with his admin for a teleconference interview after I was certain this was the type of job that would fit with me (the job might – but I was obviously not going to work for him). I said I’d need some time to think about it, and so I guess he told his admin to send me a rejection letter at 11:30 PM after I took too long to schedule a teleconference (and they work until 11:30?).

In conclusion, if you want to be berated and harangued for 60 minutes, then this division at this company is for you. Be sure to ask for xxx. He leads by example.

You can certainly post it if it makes you feel better, but honestly, these complaints aren’t likely to get this guy in any trouble. Your letter sounds like you think these things are much more serious problems than they actually are, and it’s going to reflect more poorly on you than it would on him (even if only anonymously on your side).

Taking these one at a time:

“If he’s the department head, this company is in for some serious problems.”

This is the kind of statement that makes you sound like you don’t quite understand how this stuff works. It’s possible that this guy is bad enough that his company is truly in for serious problems, but what’s here doesn’t prove that or make it a foregone conclusion at all. This type of overwrought language actually makes your message less effective and your complaint easier to dismiss; you’d have more impact (and credibility) with a calm, objective assessment.

“He’s lucky I don’t use my alumni database and email executives in his company altogether.”

Nope. That would reflect worse on you than it would on him. Not because he’s in the right here, but because mass emails like that generally make the sender look ridiculous and generate sympathy for the target. Saying this makes you sound naive, and actually doing it would make you look a little crazy. Get rid of this type of thinking.

“He opened with ‘tell me about yourself,’ which is possibly the most useless way to start an interview, empirically. No data is gained from this question aside from whether or not the person has an interview coach which doesn’t correlate to job performance (or job preparedness) in any actual research on interviews.”

Oh jeez. Lots of questions in interviews don’t correlate to job performance but are used anyway — because they’re a soft opening, or simply something the interviewer wants to know. I’m not a particular fan of this question myself, but come on. You’re far from an interviewing expert yourself, and attacking the guy for using an extremely common opening undercuts your entire case and makes it look like you’re so worked up that you can’t tell what’s a legitimate beef and what isn’t.

At this point in your letter, I’m getting frustrated. You might have legitimate complaints in here, but stuff like this isn’t helping you.

“He repeatedly said I wasn’t answering the question and I was an extremely frustrating person to interview.”

It’s possible there was some truth to that. To be blunt, your review is fairly rambling and mixes the more compelling pieces in with a lot of extraneous stuff, and it’s possible you were doing that in the interview too. Granted, telling you that you were frustrating to interview is a harsher statement than most interviewers would make, but plenty of interviewers think that about candidates all the time; there’s an argument to be made that it’s better to hear it than not to know someone’s thinking it about you. This in and of itself isn’t a strike against him.

“This went on for 10 minutes straight, with him saying it was his ‘free advice’ and he ‘didn’t have to tell me all of this but he enjoys helping others.’ I would have been better off with those 10 minutes of my life back, frankly.”

A lot of candidates are frustrated that they can’t get any feedback from their interviewers. This guy gave you some. You can take it or leave it, but it’s often very useful to hear what an interviewer thinks of you, even if you ultimately disagree.

“I guess he told his admin to send me a rejection letter at 11:30 PM after I took too long to schedule a teleconference (and they work until 11:30?).”

I send work emails late at night all the time, because I like having a flexible schedule. You’re drawing conclusions here that you don’t have enough information to draw, and it’s coming across like you’re grasping at anything you can find to complain about.

“I recorded my end of the interview, which is obviously legal.”

It’s not obviously legal. In a number of states, it’s illegal. (Maybe not in yours, but it’s not obvious. Again, you’re assuming agreement with your perspective without sufficient reason to.)

Look, you had a bad interview experience. It happened. The guy sounds like he was a bit of a jerk. That happens too.

If you wanted to post a calm, reasoned take on the interview, I’d say go for it. I’m a big fan of job seekers sharing information about companies. But thinking you can “expose” him with complaints about some stuff that really isn’t going to read as that big of a deal … as I said at the start, that’s going to reflect more poorly on you than it does on him.

You’re going to encounter plenty of bad interviewers in your life and if you get this worked up and try to “expose” them all, you’re going to be disappointed — and potentially look a little silly in the process. I’d just conclude you don’t want to work with him and move on.

how long should a raise take to go through, asking your boss to do your work, and more

It’s terse answer Thursday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How long should it take for a raise to go through?

How long does it generally take for a raise to be implemented? I mustered up the courage to ask for a raise during a performance meeting with my manager this week. He was very enthusiastic and happily agreed (hooray!). He said he’d have to get approval for it but that he thinks it should be just fine. Then he made an offhand remark about it going through at the start of 2014. This took me by surprise and I think I just nodded in response. A delayed raise is still better than no raise, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but six and a half months seems like a very long time to implement it.

Yes, that’s ridiculous. That’s less of a yes to your raise request and more of a “I can’t give you a raise now, but we’ll do one for next year.”

I’d go back to him and say, “I realized after our conversation that you’d mentioned the start of 2014. I’d actually like to get an increase now, for the reasons we talked about.”

2. Do salary negotiations usually happen with your manager or with HR?

I’m currently working as a W2 Contractor for a large company. My contract expires in a few months, and there is the chance of the company converting me to full-time.

When I was initially hired as a contractor, my rate negotiation was with HR, but with my boss’ input and approval. I did not know that my boss was involved at the time, but found out later because I have access to the department’s budget and my rate was factored into the budget spend. (I’m a program manager). I also figured my boss was involved because she can give input as to what end of the pay scale i’d fall.

Do salary negotiations typically happen solely with the Hiring Manager, HR, or both? I’m trying to prep myself a bit because my job pays below the industry average and my boss is very VERY stingy. I kinda feel like I will have a better chance at a better salary if I were to deal with just HR. I feel that HR is focused on being fair and equal, and my boss is focused on her budget. How does it typically work?

Typically salary negotiations (particularly for existing employees) are with the manager, not HR. HR might have input on overall salary ranges and budgets, but existing employees should be talking to their manager, not HR. (And at companies where HR does handle this, it’s a bad set-up; this is part of a manager’s job.) I suppose it’s possible that in your case, they’ll treat the negotiations as you being a new employee rather than an existing one (since you’re currently a contractor) and potentially have HR more involved, but they really shouldn’t.

3. Can I agree to train for a new job but back out if I get a more stable offer?

I’ve been temping at my company making X/hr for a little over a year now. Two months ago, I applied to two jobs. One was a permanent position at my company that pays 1.5X/hr, and the other is a government agency that pays 2X/hr. Next week, I have a phone interview with the government agency, while I will hear by the end of the week if I’ve been accepted at my company. If I get accepted, I would have to go through 4 months of paid training. However, I will be tested during the training process, and I could be dismissed at any time if I don’t pass one of the tests. It’s also possible that only the top candidates will get permanent jobs at the end, so there isn’t necessarily a guarantee I will get a permanent job out of it.

In this situation, would it be ethical to accept an invitation to the training, only to withdraw partway through if the government agency ended up giving me an offer?

I tend to think that if they’re explicitly telling you that they’re not making a commitment to you and you could be let go at the end of the training, then you have no obligation to make a commitment to them. Which means it would be fine to withdraw partway through if you get an offer you like better.

4. Does my employer have to give me a raise?

I’ve been working for a well-known furniture store and I have been with them for a little over a year now. When I asked about my raise, I was told that it isnt in there policy to give raises at a year or at anytime unless the employee asks for it. Is this even legal?

Are you asking whether there’s a law that requires employers to give raises at set times, or ever? No, there is not. (And really, why would there be?)

5. Can I bring notes into a job interview?

A managerial position has opened up at the university that I work at, and I have an interview coming up soon. I have worked at the university for a little over 3 years, and this will be my first managerial position.

I have been doing a lot of brainstorming and research, and have a lot of great ideas about improvements I would like to make to policies, procedures and marketing for the department. I want to make sure that I remember to bring them up in the interview, given the opportunity. Also, I want to remember some important questions about the position that I have developed. Do you think it would be strange to bring in notes that I could quickly refer to? Or is it better that I just speak off-the-cuff, even if I forget some important points/questions?

Coming with notes is absolutely fine. You don’t want to read straight from them, but it’s fine to bring in notes to jog your memory and make sure you cover the points you want to cover. (It IS weird if you consult notes on some basic element of your job history that they’d expect you to remember on your own, like what type of work a particular job entailed overall, but that’s not what you’re talking about.)

6. Is it appropriate to ask your boss to do some of your work for you?

My employee is working on a data entry project and has to enter 5 more records, which might take an hour’s time. However, when I asked him the status on this project, he asked if I can help complete it. He says he is busy on an important deadline (which I am aware of) and since it’s only 5 records, if I can complete it. I am also busy with several projects but I can chip in if needed. But more than that, I am wondering is it appropriate to ask your boss to complete your work. I have never done that with my boss.

It depends on all sorts of factors, like the relationship with the boss, the person’s history, how urgent the work is, who else is available to help, and a bunch of other factors I’m probably not thinking of here. I mean, if he should have gotten it done by now himself or it’s reasonable for him to get it done himself by the deadline, or if the deadline isn’t looming or inflexible, then sure, it’s probably ridiculous for him to ask you to help him finish. On the other hand, there are lots of times where it would be reasonable for someone with a good work ethic and a history of not dropping balls to say, “I’m slammed with getting our quarterly report in on time, but Accounting says they have to have X from us by tomorrow. Realistically, I won’t be able to do both. Any chance you’d have time to send them those numbers?”

(But I admittedly can’t imagine asking one’s boss to do a data entry project, unless one’s boss also did data entry as a major part of her job.)

7. Company is post-dating paychecks

My husband works for a large international company and is paid bi-weekly. When he receives his check, it is always post-dated for several days later. I wondered if this is common practice in some companies? To me it seems an odd thing to do for such a large company, as though the funds aren’t yet available and they aren’t sure if they will be. Any insight you could give would be great.

Most states have laws that say that you must be paid within X days after work is performed. As long as the check isn’t post-dated for a date after that state-imposed deadline, this is legal. Which I know wasn’t your question, but I’m answering that anyway.

As for whether it’s common, one thing that isn’t uncommon is assigning payday as, say, every every Friday, but issuing the checks on Wednesday for all sorts of logistical reasons. And in that case, it wouldn’t be odd for them to be post-dated to the actual payday.

whenever I take time off work, my boss calls me a slacker

A reader writes:

Whenever I take time off work, my boss calls me a slacker. I know he is partly joking, but there is definitely some seriousness to it. I can tell it bothers him when I inform him I’m taking time off. Is this something I should feel guilty about? I get 6 hours of paid time off each pay period, which at this point has accrued to several work days. Over the past 3 months, I have taken one day each month, with this month taking 2 days. I make sure to schedule my time in accordance with our programming, and notify my boss within 2 weeks of the date.

In my opinion, I am entitled to take paid time off whenever I want, as long as I have the hours — and preferably with decent notice and convenience for my office. This is especially because I’m severely underpaid, can’t afford the company’s health insurance, get almost no dental coverage, and not to mention there is no retirement fund either. This is the last thing I have from this company besides my measely paycheck and it really upsets me when someone tries to take it away.

Well, there are two different issues here: whether you’re using/scheduling time off appropriately, and your boss’s comments.

Yes, time off is a benefit that you earn, just like you earn your paycheck. However, it’s different from a paycheck in that you can’t just take it like clockwork without checking with your boss and complying with your company’s cultural norms on it. For instance, there are absolutely places where it’s fine to simply let your boss know what days you’ll be taking off. But there are others where you’re expected to clear it in advance, not just announce it. And your manager generally reserves the right to say, “Sorry, that’s a bad time” — because too many others will be out then, or it’s a busy time, or there’s an important meeting that day that can’t be missed.

There are also offices where taking a day off every month would be more disruptive than taking a week off twice a year. I say this as someone who far prefers doing it your way, but it’s worth being aware of.

So my first question is whether the way you’re approaching time off aligns with your company’s norms on it. If not, your boss should tell you that — but not every boss is the ideal manager, and so it’s smart to look around and figure it out for yourself.

Of course, you don’t need to comply with company norms if you’re not being directly told to — although being out of sync with them can cause an array of problems for you, from how you’re perceived to what kind of feedback, raises, and references you get. And if you’re approaching all this as “you owe me these days because I’m so underpaid and you don’t give me other benefits,” you’re potentially risking those things without realizing it.

(That said, if the company norms were, say, that no one ever took any vacation, ever, I’d tell you to ignore that and take some damn vacation — because that’s extreme. But it’s entirely possible for your company to have pretty reasonable expectations around time off that you’re violating without realizing it.)

In any case, none of that excuses your boss calling you a slacker for taking time off. If he has a real concern, he should address it with you. And if he’s genuinely joking, he should realize that there are some things that managers can’t joke about with employees, and this is one of them.

So the next time he calls you a slacker, ask about it. Say this: “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not, but in case there’s any real concern behind that, should I be handling my time off differently?”

He might assure you that he’s truly just joking, or he might tell you that actually, yes, he’d rather you handle it another way. If the latter, then great — now you have some information, and can decide what to do with it. If he says he’s just joking, my bet is that he won’t continue the comments in the future … although if he does, it’s reasonable to again say, “I know you’ve said you were joking, but it’s hard not to read that as possible concern about how I’m taking my PTO. Should I be doing something differently?”

A couple times of this, and the comments should stop. And if they don’t, you’ll be on record as asking multiple times if you should handle your PTO differently and being told that what you’re doing is just fine, and at that point you can ignore the slacker comments and write them off as annoying silliness.

recruiter flipped out when I asked about the company’s recent struggles

A reader writes:

A while back, I was speaking with a recruiter and she mentioned a position at a company she felt would be a good match for my experience. When she forwarded the job description, I realized that I was familiar with the company and had actually interviewed there prior to accepting my first post-college job at a different company. The company had significant struggles which resulted in bankruptcy, multiple changes in ownership, layoffs, etc. The job description seemed interesting and the company seemed to be making some improvements, but their struggles and frequent changes were a potential red flag for me. I ultimately decided to keep an open mind and reserve judgment until after the interview, figuring that at the very least I’d get more interview practice.

During a pre-interview call with the recruiter who was handling filling the position, she detailed the company’s positive attributes, her history with key people, etc. She asked if I had any questions, so I asked her if she had any insight into the impact the company’s bankruptcy and changes in ownership might have had on its culture or future. She cut me off and then completely flipped out. She told me that I was confusing the company with a different company that it was no longer associated with. (I was not; it turned out that she didn’t know about the company’s bankruptcy or layoffs until she Googled them during our conversation.) She then went on to explain that it wasn’t an appropriate question to ask in an interview and I should instead focus on convincing the company to consider me as a candidate. She felt asking about the company’s issues that early in the process was self-centered and similar to asking about salary in the first interview.

During the interview with the company, the hiring managers brought up the company’s issues and detailed the significant impact that the changes had and would continue to have on the company’s culture and future. I walked away from the situation with a positive perception of the hiring managers due to their honesty but a negative perception of the recruiter.

After retelling the story to my mom, she understood why a candidate might have questions about the company’s issues but agreed with the recruiter that companies wouldn’t want candidates to ask those questions. I felt that if companies can ask about candidates’ past successes / failures and how they’ve moved past or dealt with them, candidates should be able to ask similar questions. What do you think? If a company is experiencing hardships or some other publicly known drama that could affect a candidate’s desire to work for the company, when would it be ok for a candidate to broach the topic? How should these questions be phrased or what kinds of questions should the candidate ask?

What?! That recruiter was insane. And way off base.

In fact, I wish you’d told the hiring manager in the interview how the recruiter had reacted when you brought up the very issues they were taking the time to tell you about, because they should know how that person is representing them and how far afield she is from how they probably want it handled.

Of course it’s reasonable to ask about these things. After all, put yourself in the hiring manager’s shoes: If a candidate was informed enough to know this type of thing about your company, wouldn’t you want to talk to them about it so that you could tell them your side of the story, answer their questions about it, and make sure that they’d be okay with whatever the company’s current situation was? And who would you rather hire: the person who’s thinking rigorously about these sorts of issues and taking the time to make sure she ends up at the right place, or the candidate who’s cavalier about their career or who’s worried about it but too unassertive to feel comfortable asking? (And sure, there might be some companies who prefer the uninformed or unassertive candidates, but they’re not going to be good places to work, so it’s useful to screen them out by finding that out early.)

Your recruiter’s argument that you should only focus on convincing the company to hire you is absurd. The best candidates certainly explain why they’d be a good hire, but they also investigate fit and look out for themselves too; that’s the whole point of having options, and good employers want the candidates who have options.

And her claim that your question was “self-centered” and similar to asking about salary — well, god forbid that candidates take an interest in what they’ll be paid for their work. It’s not like that’s a highly relevant factor or anything. She’s suffering from some fairly fundamental misconceptions about how good hiring works and how good candidates operate.

As for how to bring this type of thing up, it sounds like you handled it just fine. You don’t want to be accusatory or come out swinging, of course, but you didn’t. You simply noted what you’d read and asked about the impact — that’s reasonable, that’s normal, and any sane recruiter or hiring manager isn’t going to have a problem with that.

That recruiter was negligent and awful at her job.

do you know what signals you’re sending at work?

When it comes to how you’re judged at work, you might think that the quality of your work is all that matters. But human perceptions is a lot more complicated than that, and you might be sending signals that you don’t realize or intend.

Here are five of the top ways that you inadvertently send signals about yourself at work – and how your boss and coworkers might be reading them.

1. Who you hang out with at work. No matter how good your work is, if you’re always hanging around coworkers who only do the bare minimum, have a complaint about everything, or don’t get along well with their managers, you’re likely to be perceived as sharing those same traits – even if you don’t. Likewise, if you spend time with the office’s high achievers, you’re likely to be perceived as having a similar work ethic and values (and those things can rub off on you in reality too).

2. What time you leave each day. If you watch the clock and leave every day at 5:00 on the dot, be prepared to be seen as someone not especially committed to work, and only putting in what’s absolutely required. That can impact you when it’s time for raises and promotions. On the other hand, if you always stay hours longer than everyone else, you might be seen as committed – but you might instead be seen as someone struggling to handle her workload. Better than each of these is a more balanced approach – not running out the door at the stroke of 5:00 each day, but leaving around the same time most other people do.

3. What you wear. “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have” is an old saying for a reason. You might be able to get away with wearing jeans and ratty shirts in your role, but if the people above you look more polished, you’ll probably go farther by wearing more business-like clothes. Fairly or not, people have an easier time picturing you managing others, doing higher-profile work, and dealing with clients when you look polished and well put together.

Rather than thinking of the dress code as telling you the minimum you can get away with, think of your work clothes as telling other people how you’d like to be perceived.

4. How you behave in meetings. If you sit silently in meetings without participating, you’re signaling that you don’t have much to contribute, or that you don’t care enough to contribute. Even worse, if you spend most of the time checking texts on your phone or reading sports scores, you signal that you’re unengaged with the company’s business. So try to participate if you can – and at an absolute minimum, make sure you look attentive.

5. How your office is decorated. If your office is utterly barren – no photos, no décor, no evidence that someone inhabits it – you might be signaling that you’re just passing through, that you’ll be on your way as soon as you find something better. It’s easy to bring in a lamp and put an art print on the wall, and it will make a difference in how people see you. On the other end of the spectrum, don’t go overboard: If every surface in your office is covered with photos, art, and figurines, you’ll look like your focus is somewhere other than on work. You also want to avoid a messy office, which can make you look disorganized and unconscientious.

I originally published this at U.S. News & World Report.

employee was late on his first day, loaning money to a coworker, and more

It’s wee answer Wednesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Employee was late to work on his first day

I have an employee who is now at least 40 minutes late for work on his first day. He at least called to let us know he overslept and is on the way, but likely won’t be here for another 20-30 minutes. He seemed mortified and was very apologetic, assuring us that it will not happen again. He said he was so excited to start his job that he couldn’t sleep and had to take a sleeping aid to help him sleep. Apparently it worked too well!

In all my years of managing people, I’ve honestly never had this happen before. Most folks wait at least a week or two before they start showing up late. Any suggestions on how to address this with him? In your opinion, how late is too late on one’s first day that would warrant them not having a second day?

If he sounded truly mortified, I’d give him a second chance. Bad luck does happen, and it’s possible that was the case here and this truly isn’t characteristic of him. Of course, it’s also possible that it’s VERY characteristic of him, but you’ll know that soon enough if so. I’d keep an eye on him and be pretty strict about any reoccurrences in the near future, but I’d be open to the possibility that it genuinely was just awful luck.

2. My new employer seems very sketchy about payroll taxes

I recently got a new job at a physical therapist’s office. This place seemed legit from the outside and throughout the hiring process, but once I started working with the medical records it became immediately obvious that something seriously wrong is going on (probably Medicare fraud) and the office will most likely be closing at the end of June. I have no idea why the doctor hired me at the end of May if he plans on closing his practice a month later, but that’s not my question. Obviously, I must leave, because even if the place doesn’t close, I don’t want to do fraudulent work.

My actual question is this: there may be some kind of payroll/tax fraud going on also, or maybe it’s just stupid. There is no payroll service of any sort. We have an old-school time clock that prints our times on a card. We, the employees, then have to add up our hours and figure out our own taxes using a photocopied sheet listing wages and dependents. The timecards are turned in to the doctor, who writes a personal check (so there’s no paystub or anything). Meanwhile, we are supposed to keep track of our taxes on a sheet of paper, and every quarter the doctor will collect the sheets and pay the taxes. Obviously, this is stupid as hell and probably fraudulent. Is it illegal for employees to figure out their own taxes like that? There’s no way to check any of it.

I’m not an accountant so I can’t speak with authority to the nuances here, but I can tell you that businesses are responsible for ensuring they’re being calculated correctly (something he’s risking by letting everyone calculate their own) and that while FUTA taxes (unemployment insurance) are usually paid quarterly (so he’s fine in that regard), income taxes and FICA taxes are required to be deposited either semi-monthly or monthly (depending on the business’ income level). So if he’s paying them all quarterly, he’s definitely in violation there.

3. Do I need to thank my boss for giving me a raise?

Do I need to thank my boss for giving me a raise?

You don’t need to, but you should. Not anything elaborate, and certainly not a gift or anything like that, but a “thank you for the raise; I really appreciate being recognized that way” is (a) gracious and (b) in your self-interest.

4. I loaned a coworker money and she won’t pay me back

A coworker owes me $1,000, and every time I ask for the money she avoids me so as not to pay. Also she told me that she will take me to Human Resources. Can I get fired if she does?

You can get fired for pretty much anything, as long as it’s not for your race, sex, religion, or other protected class. So sure, technically you could be fired for this. But I can’t imagine why you would be — you haven’t done anything wrong. If she approached HR about this, I assume she’d be laughed out of there. There’s nothing to report here. The only one who’s done something wrong is your coworker, and that’s between you and her.

But for the record, loaning money to coworkers is generally a really bad idea. Hell, loaning money to anyone is generally a bad idea unless you’re willing to risk that you might not see that money again.

5. My boss wants me to measure staff happiness with a software change

I work in I.T. for a small organization (around 50 people) that has been undergoing a lot of technology changes. I’m smack in the middle of company-wide software changes in addition to my normal day-to-day maintenance, support services, and report writing. Now the company is adding another software into the mix that I have used before, and I believe it’s a good idea but my problem is the timing and the staff here isn’t very “techie.”

When I put together my project management plan, my boss asked me to include staff happiness into the project scope. Something along the lines of “the software will be installed, infrastructure to support it will be upgraded, extensive training will be done and everyone will be happy.” When pressed for how I would measure happiness, he replied “I’m not sure, a survey or something.” I’m in way over my head doing more than I was hired to do, and although I pride myself on customer service, I am concerned because many people here are overwhelmed and I am afraid that they will take their ya-yas out on my survey. Help!

It’s certainly reasonable to have staff satisfaction as one of the measures of a project’s success. And if you wanted to do that, a survey is often the fastest way to measure that. (Another way can sometimes be a drop in complaints or reports of problems.)

While I understand your concern that a non-techie staff may not be happy at all with the new software, what your boss is telling you is that he considers it an important part of the project. If you think it’s unlikely to happen, or will only happen with more work than you have the capacity for, now is the time to bring that up. (In fact, that’s one of the big advantages of setting clear goals at the outset of a project — it brings differing perspectives to the surface at the right point in planning … because you really don’t want to find out at the end of the project that there was a measure of success that you didn’t know about.)

6. Can I lie about my salary history to avoid having it used against me?

I’ve worked at nonprofits for my entire career and am trying to make the jump to corporate — and I have to say, compensation is a big motivator. I’ve been underpaid for years, and I can see the opportunity to get a sizable salary increase if I move to corporate. But as you know, many online applications require salary history. I’m afraid if I report my nonprofit salary to a for-profit company that I will be underselling myself before I even get to a negotiation point. My question: Can I lie about my salary history on an application? How would a company even be able to check that?

You absolutely should not lie about salary in this process. Companies verify it all the time — either through asking your previous company to verify or it or by asking to see your W2s — and they will absolutely disqualify you for lying. (And sometimes they verify post-offer, so you risk accepting an offer, quitting your old job, and then having the offer pulled when they discover you lied. That is bad, and you don’t want that to happen.)

However, your current salary doesn’t need to hold you back from a much better one. Moving from nonprofits to for-profits provides you with a good reason for deserving more. Here’s the story of how I once doubled my salary in a single career move, when leaving a low-paying nonprofit.

7. What do hiring managers really think about online degrees?

So what do hiring managers, professionals in general, really think about people with degrees acquired online?

It depends on the school, and it depends on the hiring manager. Some online programs have solid reputations (generally those attached to a brick-and-mortar school). Others … don’t. And then of course, there are some hiring managers who won’t believe the degree is as as valid if it’s from an online program, no matter how good the program — although that’s becoming increasingly less common.

The two things that really matter though: Pick a program that’s part of a brick-and-mortar school with a good reputation, and avoid for-profit colleges completely. Their reputation is crap, and generally deservedly so.

what can I do about a senior coworker who always misses meetings with me?

A reader writes:

I work in an entry-level associate person, but deal with a lot different departments, including our communications manager. Although she is nice, at least outwardly, I noticed that she is increasingly inept at keeping meeting appointments, takes forever to track down, unless my supervisor (the CFO) is copied to the email chain or he directly asks for something to get done.

For instance, I think it’s a waste of my time when I’m sitting in a meeting room for 20 minutes, can’t get a hold of her at her desk, and my emails go unanswered. This is precisely what happened this morning.

My boss thinks very highly of her, so I don’t want to say anything mean about her, but he is also my direct supervisor, and I feel he should be made aware. I copied him to my last email where I asked her to just swing by my desk when ready. We were supposed to have this meeting two times already…

I understand that she is busy and in a more senior position, but she could at least shoot me an email or let me know in advance that we need to postpone, etc. Once again, this is just another incidence in a string of unanswered emails, unanswered calls, until a week or two later and after I have literally emailed her five to ten times in order to get some kind of response.

Do you think I’m being petty or is this a cause for concern? How should I handle this matter, which seems to be slowly snowballing?

Have you talked to her about it yet? That’s the first step, and it doesn’t sound like you’ve done that.

However, before you do that, be aware that in some organizations, communications manager is a very busy job — if she’s taking last-minute press calls, for instance, that will nearly always trump meetings with entry-level staff. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay for her to routinely leave you sitting in empty meeting rooms, but you do want to be aware of that and have it inform your approach so that you don’t come across as out-of-touch with her how this type of work sometimes works.

Even if that’s not the case here, you still want to approach this with respect for her seniority and the fact that her time is, in the most literal terms, more valuable than yours. Again, that doesn’t make it okay for her to routinely leave you sitting alone in meeting rooms for 20 minutes, but it does mean that you want to shape your approach accordingly.

So what does that mean in practice? It means that you don’t curtly say, “I waited for you for 20 minutes.” Instead, say something like this: “I’ve noticed that you’re not able to make a lot of our meetings when we set them. Is there a better way for me to get time with you when I need it for XYZ?” It’s possible she’ll tell you that it would actually be better for you to catch in person when she’s at her desk, or something else. Or she might blow off your concern and tell you that no, it’s fine to keep scheduling meetings the way you have been — in which case, you say: “What’s the best thing for me to do when we have a meeting and you’re not there? Do you want me to try to find you, or just wait 5 minutes and then email you to reschedule?”

It’s also reasonable to say, “Would you mind letting me know when you need to miss a meeting? Otherwise I end up sitting in the meeting room waiting for you.”

If the problem continues after you talk with her, then you talk to your manager. But instead of framing it as a complaint, frame it as asking for advice: “I have a hard time getting time with Jane when we have scheduled meetings. We often schedule meetings and she doesn’t make it. I know she’s busy, and I’ve asked her if there’s a better way to get the stuff I need from her, but it’s continuing to happen, so I wondered if I could pick your brain for advice.”

Asking for advice on how to handle something when you really want to complain about it is a good way to raise issues in a professional, non-complaining way — you’ll get your boss in the loop on the situation without badmouthing someone and you’ll potentially get good advice about how to handle it.

(And frankly, it’s entirely possible that your boss will say, “Yeah, Jane is really busy and there’s no real way around that. Thanks for accommodating it.” And if that’s where he comes down on it, you want to know that. That’s his call to make, and in some situations it could be the right one.)

Speaking of your boss, stop cc’ing him on emails to the communications manager like “swing by my desk when you’re ready.” Even though you’re doing it because you’ve found it makes her more responsive, it’s also making you look … well, not great. It’s a passive-aggressive way of escalating things, when you should be talking to people directly instead. (To be clear, there are times when it makes sense to cc your manager when you’re not getting something you need — but a cc on meeting logistics isn’t one of them.)

Another thing to stop doing: emailing 5-10 times to get a response. One follow-up email makes sense. After that, pick up the phone or go by in person. It’s too easy for emails to get overlooked in a rapidly filling in-box, and when two emails haven’t worked, that’s a sign to try a different approach. (Not that you should have to — you shouldn’t. We’re just talking reality here.)

Basically, don’t stew in frustration. Lay the problem on the table — pleasantly and professionally — and see if there’s some other way of handling it, or if the consensus from the more senior people involved is that although this isn’t ideal, it’s just the way it needs to be.

how to stop a new coworker’s drop-bys to chat when we’re busy

A reader writes:

We hired a new employee about 4-5 months ago. The five of us work in one office, and she (due to space constraints) shares an office with another employee down the hall.

She’s very friendly, and has a habit of stopping by our office “just to say hi.” The problem is, we’re not really a “stop by and say hi” kind of office. We’re extremely busy, with many phone calls and various projects going on at one time. I’m trying not to be annoyed by her drop-ins, but it’s hard. If we have a team meeting, she’ll come in 10 minutes early to chat. We, on the other hand, will work right up until the time of the meeting. Often she’ll be standing there while we’re answering calls, finishing emails, etc. There are times when she’ll stop by and we have a few minutes of downtime, but that’s rare.

Is there a nice way to address this? Is it terribly rude to say hello and keep working while she stands there?

No, it’s not rude to say hi and then continue working. And most people will pick up on that cue, and learn pretty quickly what the office norms are. But if she’s not, then it’s kinder — to all of you — to be more explicit with her.

For instance, when she comes by 10 minutes before a meeting starts, say hi (in a genuinely warm way) and then say, “We usually work right up until the start of the meeting, so want to come back in 10 minutes?” If she says that she’ll just wait in your office, then let her wait — but turn back to your work and don’t feel obligated to chat with her. If she seems put off by that, it’s fine to say, “Sorry, we’re get so busy that it’s sometimes hard to stop and chat!” In other words, if she’s not figuring it out on her own, spell it out for her, nicely.

As for the stopping by just to say hi at other times, I’d back up and look at the bigger picture of what’s going on. She’s new and her whole team works in one office while she’s down the hall with someone else. That almost certainly means that she’s having more challenges becoming a full-fledged part of your team than she would if she were sitting with the rest of you — or at least she worries that she will. I wouldn’t be surprised if her drop-bys are her effort to mitigate some of that.

So one way for you to address the drop-bys would be for you to find other ways to make her feel like part of your team. Are you reaching out to her, making sure she’s included in group work conversations and decisions, grabbing coffee with her on occasion? If you can find some ways to include her, you might find that she stops the random drop-bys.

And if she doesn’t, at that point you’d be on firmer ground in trying to stop it more directly — by saying, “It’s nice to see you when you drop by, but let’s schedule meetings for the things we need to talk about, because we’re usually deep into whatever we’re working on.” But you want to be sure that you’re saying that against a backdrop of her being fully integrated into your team — and if that’s not yet the case, fix that part first.