short answer Saturday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

by Alison Green on March 9, 2013

It’s short answer Saturday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Is my unpaid internship ever going to offer me a paid position?

I’ve been working an unpaid internship for around 8 months now. I was asked if I was intersted in a paid position doing basically the same thing I have been doing for free. I let them know I was very interested and they said they’d get back to me within a week with the details. It’s now been six weeks and I still haven’t been hired or even know if I will be. I asked my supervisor about it twice, and each time he said he was waiting on his supervisor for a response. I can’t help but feel if I continue working for free they will never get around to hiring me. Should I just keep being patient and work for free, or should I quit the unpaid intership, but then let them know if they want to hire me, I’m still interested?

Set an ending date. Tell them that you need to find paid employment so you need to set an ending date for your internship. At this point, you’ve been working for free for eight months; it’s unlikely to provide you with significantly more benefits if you stay longer. So set an ending date, and start looking for paid work. If this motivates them to offer you a job, great. If not, keep your focus on jobs with other organizations.

Alternately, if you don’t really want to quit even if they don’t offer you paid work but you’d just like to nudge them in that direction, tell your manager that you need to start actively searching for paid work and need to know if they’re going to offer you a position or not, so that you know whether to launch a search.

2. MOOCs versus business school

I am a recent-ish graduate of an elite law school (top 3), but the more time I spend practicing law, the more I become convinced that, while I enjoy it well enough, it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my work life. My 10-year plan is to continue in criminal litigation (my current area of practice) for 5-8 more years before attempting to transition into business management or a related field.

The problem is that I don’t want to go to business school. I don’t mind putting in the hours and time, but I’ve already shelled out $120k+ to to a seriously overrated educational institution for essentially a piece of paper with a name on it. My attitude towards re-upping for business school is “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…”

My question is whether you have any thoughts on Massively Open Online Courses (MOOCs) as a replacement for business school. They’re free, and I can finish them on my own time over the next several years. I’m not sure, though, how much of an asset they’d be on the job market. Certainly I could talk about it in an interview, but would it be appropriate to list on a resume? Would I be rejected out of hand simply because I don’t have an MBA? Can my law degree compensate for that? For what it’s worth, my undergrad degree is from a large state school in Economics and Business.

Some of the biggest advantages of business school are the networking opportunities and internships you get placed in with your school’s help. That’s probably more valuable than what you actually learn there. And that’s stuff that MOOCs won’t provide. So from that perspective, I’d say no, although frankly neither is necessary to move into business management — work experience is. Few jobs outside of some consulting positions actually require MBA coursework. Anyone else want to weigh in on this though?

3. Following up on a raise

When is an appropriate time to follow up on a raise that a few months ago was mentioned as likely to happen this month? My manager, who is retiring in a few weeks, knows I’ve applied for a few other positions within the company (interviewed for one last week) but hasn’t mentioned my raise. Should I wait and ask the new manager who will be internally promoted? I’d like to get some sense from my department, as it may help me get a higher offer from the other departments on my radar. Even still, If I get neither, I’d rather be making more money sooner than later.

Ask now. You want to ask your current manager before she leaves, because the new manager will come in without knowing all this context and potentially not as committed to getting you a raise as your current manager. Keep in mind, though, that since your manager knows you’re applying for other positions, she may feel less incentive to get you a raise out of her department’s budget — if you have one foot out the department’s door anyway.

4. Avoiding job hopping while in school

I’m currently a student, and since October I’ve been working part-time at a retail store. It took me a while to actually get that position, but it’s worked out well while I’ve been in school and I generally enjoy it. However, in my program, like many others, it’s pretty much expected that we get some sort of summer position or internship. Luckily, I’ve managed to get a 35 hour/week summer job from May to August, but now I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my retail job. In a perfect world, I would be able to work a schedule where I could balance both, but the hours of operation for the organization my summer job is at are pretty much the same as my retail job.

I would honestly like to keep my retail job, so I can still work there during the next school year. If I wouldn’t be able to keep it due to scheduling, would it look terrible on my resume if I quit this job after 7 months to go to a relevant summer position in a field I’m studying for? Should I speak to my manager at the store and tell her what’s going on and see if she can work around my new schedule? I won’t know my new schedule until I start my job in May though. I’m kind of torn. I really don’t want to look like a job hopper, but I’m afraid that I’ll have to.

Wait until a month before your new job starts, and then explain the situation to your manager at your current job. Say you’d love to stay on if she can work around your other schedule, but if she can’t, you’d love to return in the fall.

You don’t need to worry about this looking like job hopping. The job hopping concern doesn’t really apply while you’re in school; in school, it’s expected that you’ll have various short-term jobs and internships. It’s once you graduate and are working full-time that it’s an issue.

5. Should I have to make up these hours?

If my manager closes the building for a meeting for an afternoon and it is usually my shift at that time, should I have to work the hours to make up for the ones I missed, even though it wasn’t my fault and I would have been willing to work? It was also suggested I take the “time off” as a holiday, which doesn’t seem fair.

This stuff isn’t usually about whether you were willing to work; it’s about whether you did or didn’t work, regardless of the reason, even when it’s a reason you had no control over.

6. Should I clear a blog with my manager before I start it?

I work as a care provider for a mental institution on a unit that works with children and teens. There are a lot of considerations that have to be made on a regular basis concerning HIPAA.

Lately, I have been wanting to do other things besides think about work. It is a stressful job, and anytime I can leave work and do something other then think about it, is great for my stress level. I have an idea for a blog that would involve fashion, taking pictures of me in certain fashions, and another of my passions. I am worried, however, that this may cause conflict at my job. I have noticed in the media lately people getting fired for Facebook posts, blog posts, pictures posted, and comments made on the internet. I want to ask my boss what she thinks, but I am unsure if this would be the right and professional course of action. So, what do you think about this? Do you have advice on how I should proceed?

If your blog isn’t going to have anything to do with your job, and isn’t going to compromise patient privacy or talk about your employer in any way, most managers won’t care. But if you any doubts, just ask your manager; explain what you want to do and say you wanted to ensure it wouldn’t be an issue.

7. Do employers observe you during a typing test?

Do employers stand behind you during typing tests? Are you put in a cubicle or something? I mean, I type pretty fast, but I am not actullly using the home keys; I just know where the letters are, if that makes sense.

No reasonable employer stands behind you during typing tests; they just look at your final score. If you find someone standing behind you watching you, run for the hills.

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how to deal with a supply-stealing, boundary-violating coworker

by Alison Green on March 8, 2013

A reader writes:

I currently work at a nonprofit and have been in my department for a year now. While I love my job, I am struggling with a coworker who does not know boundaries.

Quick background: I’m in my late 20s and look young, and my coworker, who helped train me but has the same position and title as I do, is much older, in her 50s, and has worked at our organization for over seven years. While she is a very nice person, she’s done some things that make me feel uncomfortable. It first started when I noticed certain things missing off of my desk, like my personal office supplies, and found that she had used them and taken them to her desk (this would be fine if she’d ask and bring them back, but she didn’t ). Another time, while I was working, she came over and, without asking, took a production schedule I had pinned to my cube wall off and walked off with it. The few times I’ve asked her if she could ask first before taking stuff off of my desk space, her response is usually a dismissive, “No, it’s okay.”

I also rarely take personal phone calls at my desk, but once in a while need to take a call with access to my computer screen (doctor appointments, financial planning, etc.) and try to do it at lunch time and as fast as possible. After some calls, my coworker has turned around to ask far too personal questions about them, like why I was going to the doctor and for what. I’ve tried to take as many calls as possible away from my desk, but it is sometimes difficult to get around that, and I know she’s always listening and ready to ask questions.

I’ve thought about bringing this up to our manager about her lack of boundaries, but he seems to put up with her and lets things slide—sometimes if he stops by my desk to ask me a question, she’ll butt in loudly to ask what we are talking about, and he normally laughs it off. I don’t know if I’m the one being uptight over all of this, but it’s made me increasingly uncomfortable, especially since her boundary breaking makes me feel like she’s treating me like a child. Any suggestions?

I would not bring this up to your manager. It’s really an interpersonal issue that isn’t impacting your work — it’s just annoying you. In the scheme of things, it’s not significant enough that you should take it to your manager, irksome as it is. You want to look like someone who handles your own stuff and doesn’t involve your manager in interpersonal things unless it’s really warranted.

Instead, you need to be more direct with your coworker if you want it to stop.

That means that the next time she takes something from your desk, you should say, “Please don’t take things from my desk without asking or bringing them back afterwards. I’m often counting on them being there.” If she brushes you off and tells you it’s no big deal, say, “Even if you don’t think it’s a big deal, I’d appreciate you humoring me on this. It really bothers me when things disappear from my desk.”

And the next time she asks you questions about a personal phone call, refuse to play along: “That was a personal call. I’d rather not discuss it.”

Keep in mind that while her taking things from your desk is something you can’t stop without her cooperation, whether or not you answer personal questions about your calls is 100% within your control, even if she keeps asking forever.

If you’re worried that telling her to cut this stuff out will cast a chill over your relationship with her, you can counter that by making a point of being warm and friendly to her the rest of the time, as long as she’s acting appropriately … but if you want this stuff to stop, you’ll have to tell her.

In fact, that’s the rule for most coworker annoyances: If you want them to stop, you have to say so.

If you try this and she continues anyway … well, you have an annoying coworker. She won’t be the last.

But in the scheme of things, this isn’t vastly out of the normal range of coworker annoyances, so it’s also worth just trying to get a thicker skin about it if it continues after you say something. Not because you should have to, but because from a purely practical standpoint, it will make your life at work happier.

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when your company wants to hijack your social media accounts

by Alison Green on March 8, 2013

A reader writes:

I work at a women’s magazine. We have a a lot of advertiser promotions that we feature on our social media outlets (Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest). I have been asked numerous times to post these on my personal social media accounts to garner more eyeballs. This is something I don’t feel comfortable with, but am looked down upon for not doing so, as I’m not going out of my way to promote the brand.

Should employees be pressured to do this type of promotion? What are appropriate boundaries?

This is both annoying and increasingly common.

You used to see it mainly in nonprofits, where the assumption was that you support the cause they’re advocating and would want to share advocacy opportunities (or whatever) with your connections. But then it spread to businesses, and it got a lot more annoying, because asking people to share ads for businesses is really an imposition. (And to be clear, I’m not saying nonprofits should require it either, just that it’s less ridiculous to suggest a share in that context.)

If I were in your shoes, I’d probably say, “Sorry, but it’ll just annoy my friends/followers, and that won’t be helpful.” And if that didn’t go over well, I’d do what I could to make it look like I didn’t have any of those accounts (locking down Facebook, not using my real name on others, etc.).

But I wanted a social media pro’s take on this, so I turned to my personal social media wizard and friend, Erica Manney, who writes youshouldonlyknow.com. She says: “This is totally annoying when it comes to regular companies asking general employees (like, accounting, or the IT people) to put things on social media, and a different thing when you are a media company and in a public role such as social media person.”

This is true. So are you in a social media role? Or are you a regular, non-social-media person? If the former, Erica points out: “If you’re a social media person, you kind of have to be ‘bought in’ to your job. You’re the #1 cheerleader, public voice, and advocate. If you aren’t willing to promote and be excited about your company, even to your own social network, within reason, you may not be in the right role at the right company. /koolaid”

She also asks, “How big is her own personal social network? How many more eyeballs are they really hoping to gain? If she’s a regular, non-power user, then them asking her to do this is kind of stupid. The campaign should be so big that one extra person wouldn’t even register.”

Overall, she says, “This is a stupid request, unless you are a known power user — but it is the changing way of the world, and I could see why they would want you to do it as a show of support.”

Her suggestions for you: “Explain that certain profiles are private (or … don’t, because ones you intend to keep private should already be locked down) and then publicly and occasionally use your other platforms. Because … that’s kinda the way things are going.”

I think this is right. If social media is part of what you’re there to do, well, this is part of how social media works. The lines are blurred between personal and professional accounts, at least on some platforms. But if that’s not your job, then go with some combination of polite demurrals, account lockdown, the occasional tweet for good will, and trying to get away with ignoring the rest of it.

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fast answer Friday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

by Alison Green on March 8, 2013

It’s fast answer Friday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Are you supposed to drop everything to schedule an interview?

Today I was excited to get a call from a woman (while I was busy ) who wanted to set up a phone interview with me. I asked if I could call her back with a date and time that works best once I had a chance to look at my schedule. (I’m a fitness instructor and my schedule changes weekly.) I called her back in 20 minutes though. However, my boyfriend said it was very impolite of me, that I should always be aware of my schedule, and that it made me appear unprepared. He says that this is “job hunting 101 stuff.” I’m usually inclined to listen to him, and I am more so with things pertaining to this position because he has pull with the organization, but I can’t shake the feeling that he is wrong.

Do employers really expect this? Am I just supposed to drop everything anytime someone calls with an interview offer?

No. Your boyfriend is wrong on this. You are not supposed to just be sitting by your phone all day in case an employer calls, ready to respond to their every whim with no regard for your own schedule. It’s completely reasonable to ask to call someone back. Please remind your boyfriend that job-searching is a two-way street; you’re contemplating a business relationship with them, not prostrating yourself at their feet in the hope that they will bestow their favors on you.

2. Federal hiring during the sequester

I just received a call to set up an interview for a federal government position that I applied for a long time ago…before I had even heard of the sequester or was even serious about my own job search.

Given the sequester, I am concerned about this agency having the ability to make hires now. Can I ask them about this during the interview? I have had a friend in the past who was “screwed over” by a budget issue in the past. I don’t want to put them off by asking about the money stuff, but I don’t want to invest myself in something that may be fruitless.

Sure, that’s fine to ask. The sequester is big news and it’s not going to surprise them that it’s on your mind. Just say something like, “How is the sequester affecting you? Will it impact hiring in your division?” Keep in mind, by the way, that not all federal jobs are impacted, only some, and plenty of hiring is continuing to go on. (Also, job searching is always about investing yourself to some extent in something that may not pan out, so don’t get too caught up in wanting to avoid that, either.)

3. Intern isn’t getting reimbursements owed to her

I am really curious on what my friend should do in this situation. She and I interned together 3 months ago. I am still at the internship position but she left in December, because of her limited availability. During her (unpaid) internship, she paid for several things (cab ride back home from company event, catering services for the event, etc.) that she should be compensated for. Because she isn’t in the office anymore, she had sent a couple of emails to the supervisors since the time she had left, asking for the compensation. Still, she didn’t hear from them. So, she contacted the HR manager who oversees the internship program. The HR manager asked for the receipts from my friend in February, so my friend sent them over electronically immediately. There’s been no response from her! I’ve offered to send her the expense forms from my end, but I imagine that won’t do much for my friend, since the supervisors aren’t doing anything to address this problem. What should she do?

She should call up the HR manager, today, and ask her when she will receive the reimbursement. If she doesn’t get a specific date, she should tell her that she needs it resolved by next Friday and ask if she can come by then to pick up a check. She’s been doing this all by email; it’s time to move to the phone, where she’s actually speaking to someone.

4. Listing references who were laid off

My temporary job has ended, and I’m updating my references. In the meantime, I’ve learned that one of my references (former manager) was laid off (two years after I was). Fortunately, I got in touch with him and now have his current (personal) contact info. My question is, when listing him as a reference, how do I list his title if he no longer works there? “Joe Smith, former Principal, Firm ABC”? Also, the info I have listed for my references includes the street address, phone number, and email address. Will it look weird to be missing his street address, and that the email is a Yahoo address rather than a company address?

Yes, list it exactly like that — with what his former position was. They don’t care what he’s doing currently; they care what his position was when they worked with you.

As for not having his street address, you don’t need it. In fact, get rid of all the other addresses on there, because that’s weird to include in references. No one is mailing your references (and if some odd employer is, they can ask you for an address). Phone number and email address, and that’s all you need. The fact that it’s his personal email address is fine.

5. Office requires food and drinks to be stored in one cabinet

Our company wants no food or drink in our work areas. They have a metal cabinet with doors that stay closed, with 35 or more people putting half-eaten food and drinks in the same cabinet. Can this be healthy? We don`t even have a sink to wash your hands nearby. The cabinet is in the break area, but the manager doesn’t want people setting there lunches down just anywhere because it looks unprofessional. Same with drinks and food. Please advise

I have no idea if it’s healthy or not, but people do the same thing with office refrigerators and cabinets, so I’m not sure how this any different, except for the lack of refrigeration. I hope people aren’t putting perishable stuff in there, but that’s more for their own safety.

6. Company-issued iPads

My company issued iPads for business and good-judgment personal use. They are supplying the device and 4G service. They want the employees to buy a case with our money. And if the device is lost or stolen, the employee will incur the cost. Is this normal?

It’s not shockingly unusual, but it’s annoying. If you don’t want to play along, can you simply decline the iPad and say you’re not comfortable assuming the risk?

7. Do lateral moves hurt your career?

Do lateral moves have the potential to hurt your career progression if the lateral move is in the opposite direction of your future career? My intentions are to transition into HR. However, due to being pregnant and not wanting to give up my well deserved maternity benefits by applying externally, my only option is to apply internally. HR positions within my company are few and far between. Also, since I don’t have as much HR experience as other HR professionals, I’m very unlikely to secure an HR position if it does become available.

However, I’m miserable in my current position. I was forced to transfer to this role when my previous line of business closed. While I thought things would get better, I’ve been here for a little over a year and they’re getting worse. To make matters worse my manager isn’t that great of a manager and at the end of the day could care less about me.

I’ve started looking at current positions that are a good fit for me, but not in line with my career path. Would taking a lateral move (actually a demotion, as my current role truly doesn’t reflect the scope of what I do in relation to my employer’s job codes) hurt more than help?

Yes, it will hurt, if you then try to move into HR later; you’ll look like you have no idea what you want to do and are just trying things out. Stick it out where you are until you’re done with maternity leave, and then look into moving into HR.

Read an update to this letter here.

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when is it too late to apply to a job opening that’s been posted for a while?

by Alison Green on March 7, 2013

A reader writes:

How long is the “window” open for a job advertisement? I just started my job search, so when I see a position that the company lists on their website as “open,” but it’s been “open” since January, I’m not sure I should apply to it because it’s been such a long time.

What do you think? As I search for jobs, what is a good time frame to keep in mind? Just apply to jobs advertised for two weeks? Three weeks? A month?

I just want to make sure I’m not wasting my time!

It really depends, and it’s very hard to know from the outside.

Sure, it’s possible that they’ve already filled the position and have just neglected to take the ad down. But it’s just as possible that they’re still actively hiring, and you have as much of a chance today as you did the day the ad went up. It’s also possible that it’s somewhere in between, i.e., that they’re in the later portion of the hiring process and are interviewing finalist candidates, but would consider new candidates if they were extremely strong. It’s not something you can tell from the outside.

Hiring takes a long time. Some companies don’t even begin reviewing resumes until a month after an ad goes up, or they intend to do it earlier but then the process stalls — someone goes on vacation or is out sick, or a budget question comes up that needs to be resolved before hiring work can move forward, or something higher priority comes up that needs to be worked on before attention can be turned back to hiring, or they thought they had a candidate to hire but it fell through and now they’re starting from scratch, or all kinds of other things.

It takes even longer if it’s a hard-to-fill role.

You can’t know from the outside what’s going on. You can certainly call and ask if the position is still open if you’re really concerned, but in general, you’re better off assuming that something is still open than assuming that it’s not.

If you’re concerned about wasting your time … well, you can’t really avoid that possibility in most job searches. You can never know if your application is going to be looked at or not, or whether the role closed five minutes before you applied, or whether it’s a post intended for someone internal and they’re just going through the motions in posting it publicly. You’re better off making your peace with that and not worrying about it too much.

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you don’t need to wear a bra to answer the office phone

by Alison Green on March 7, 2013

A reader writes:

You are always so great at getting to the heart of matters, so I’m hoping you can help me figure out a few witty retorts to the following problem. I’m writing you today about a situation I’m sure most women have been in. I am a female in an office with 15 men and 3 women. I am not an assistant of any sort, nor am I a manager. I am not on the front lines; it is not in my role to answer phones, order lunch, order office supplies, etc. However, I find myself responding to frequent requests for things such as:

Where are the cleaning supplies stored?
Were you aware that the men’s room is out of toilet paper?
Where is the nearest seamstress / tailor where “insert client name” can get a zipper replaced?

Not to mention that when the receptionist is away from her desk, the phone will ring and ring and ring and ring…unless I answer it. (We ALL have phones capable of picking up incoming calls).

What gives here? I am super tempted to remind my coworkers that I am not their wife, mother, or personal assistant. And just because I wear a bra does not mean that I inherently know where the Mr. Clean wipes are kept, am better equipped to answer the phones, or change the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. I just need a response that is going to make the point and have a long-lasting effect, that I won’t lose my job over.

“Why are you asking me?”

Delivered totally neutrally, even pleasantly.

It’s a question that should force them to pause and think about why they really are asking you.

I’d go with that versus a witty, snappy retort, because it keeps it simple and straightforward. And really, it belongs in the “huh?” realm rather than the humor realm anyway.

Regarding the phones, if everyone else is getting away with not answering them when they ring, then you might consider doing the same. Yes, you want to be responsible and not shirk a shared responsibility just because everyone else is, but if you take that stance, you’ll essentially be agreeing to be the sole sub for the receptionist when she’s away. If you  join your coworkers in not picking it up and it becomes a problem, the office will address it, and everyone can be told to answer it, rather than you picking up all the slack. (And yes, I am slightly uncomfortable with that solution, but I’m far more comfortable with it than you doing the work for everyone or with you having to nag your coworkers.)

Speaking of nagging, I’m not a big fan of reminding coworkers that you’re not their wife or mother. First, it implies that other women in their lives are responsible for doing things that capable adults handle on their own, and second, it puts you in the role of … well, mother, by admonishing them to do something differently.

Instead, pretend that gender isn’t involved here at all, and just don’t play along.

Read an update to this letter here.

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a former employee is on a public vendetta against me

by Alison Green on March 7, 2013

A reader writes:

I have worked 5 years for an international nonprofit as a regional coordinator for a certain region of developing countries where I oversee local consultants hired to implement our projects with our beneficiaries. These consultants are on year-long renewable contracts (and in the past have tended to be treated more like employees, but we are now handling it more like normal consultancy contracts). I was young when I was promoted to the position (26) after having been one of those consultants myself for one year. When I came into the position, it was originally on interim during my previous boss’s 9-month sick leave. I was managing remotely in three countries with three consultants: two with whom I managed to build great relationships, they worked great, no complaint, and a third who was always very difficult to work with. He resented me having been promoted to “oversee” him and kept referring to me as interim even after it was clear my former boss wasn’t coming back and I got officially the position. He had done very bad work before, but my previous boss thought he could improve and liked him as a person. His work never improved. With my immediate manager, we spoke to him many times, making reports on how he needed to improve his work, and put him on “probation” at least twice. He’d temporarily improve, then get bad again (no reports, bad attitude, not meeting timelines, etc). Eventually, at the end of 2011, with the approval of my manager, I decided that we would not renew his contract, as it was expiring. I was new into the “management” world and tried to get as much mentoring and training as I could, but this was a very intense way to “learn on the job.”

He has since been on a personal vendetta against me. He has been sending mass emails to all our stakeholders, beneficiaries, partners, all the board of our organisation, etc. saying how badly I have done my job, how awful I am, etc. Within my organization, nobody doubts my actions and they all stand by me and highly value my work (I have since had one more promotion). My managers recognize in his vendetta the sad side of a disgruntled ex-worker. Both my manager and higher managers have responded to him very professionally and have followed up (without copying in all the stakeholders of course), but he keeps on attacking, every three or four weeks over the past six months, with roughly 80 people in copy. He has taken his crusade to many of the people we work with who have never met me, and many partners he copies on emails are potential places where I might want to work one day. I have gotten feedback from some of them that they do not take it seriously at all (his ramblings do seem slightly paranoid or schizophrenic), but I am drained emotionally by this. Letting him go was one of my first difficult management decisions, and although I do not regret it for the better of our organization, I wish I had not opened that Pandora’s box. I have learned from it and would handle future layoffs differently, but in the immediate situation I am at a loss. My manager seems pretty overwhelmed and doesn’t know what to do either.

Legally, we can’t do much; he lives in another country, and my organization would not take on an international court case (if that even exists). This is a strange complex situation, But in general terms, how would you deal with ex-employees / workers who have been fired for bad behaviour/ poor performance when they start harassing the company or their ex-manager?

This is going to sound counterintuitive, but do nothing. Ignore it.

The way this guy is acting is so counter to how normal, rational people act that anyone who receives his missives isn’t going to take them seriously. (Frankly, cc’ing 80 people is enough to ruin his credibility, and that’s before we even get to the content of the emails.) And the fact that his letters are rambling and seem to come from someone unstable — believe me, people are not taking these seriously. Imagine, after all, if you were on the receiving end of these letters about someone else. Would you think, “Wow, Jane sounds like she really treated him horribly; she must be a bad person,” or would you think, “This guy has some serious problems and he’s annoying me”? You’d think the latter.

So I can promise you that no one is putting stock in these letters. You are, of course, because they’re about you, and it’s horrible to feel that someone out there dislikes you so much and is sharing it with the world. And you’re questioning how you handled the ending of his contract, and you’re feeling that he’s exposing you as having done wrong in some way. But he’s not.

I don’t know the details of how you handled the end of his contract, but certainly the decision to do it sounds more than justified. And if you were awkward in how you handled it because it was your first time doing something like that — well, welcome to the club. Most managers are awkward in the early stages of learning how to do that. It’s not ideal, but it’s reality. And 99.9% (more, really) of their employees don’t react like this guy is. The issue here is him. It’s not about your actions.

You had the bad luck of having an unhinged person on your staff. And people hearing from him see that.

So I would ignore it, and keep reminding yourself that other people are too. It will go away in time, I promise.

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terse answer Thursday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

by Alison Green on March 7, 2013

It’s terse answer Thursday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. What will my company share with a reference-checker?

I currently work for a company and am on really good terms with them. I am looking for a new job and am wondering what my current HR person will have to divulge to the new company. I would like them to of course verify employment, speak to my character and that they receive good feedback from my superiors, but keep other things like salary, performance reviews, and other things like that confidential. If I ask for this to be kept confidential, they are not legally obligated to give the information to the new company, correct?

No, they’re not legally obligated to provide anything, although most will. But the info they give out will depend on whether the reference-checker calls HR or your manager. Generally, if a reference-checker calls HR, they’re not looking for a reference; they’re looking for employment verification: dates of employment, title, and whether you’re eligible for re-hire, as well as sometimes salary and whether you left in good standing. HR doesn’t typically speak about the details of your performance; that’s something that a reference-checker would call your manager for, since your manager is the one who could speak to that with nuance. (And no one typically shares actual performance evaluations, as in the formal documents, although a manager will generally speak about your performance.)

As for salary, you can certainly ask your current employer not to divulge your salary. However, if it’s their normal policy to share that information (and many employers do, irritatingly), they may then say to the reference-checker that you asked them not to share it — which may or may not cause you hassles with the new employer.

By the way, this may be a non-issue, since it’s very typical to ask that your current employer not be contacted at all, since telling them that you’re job-searching often doesn’t go well, and most reference-checkers understand that.

2. Bolding key phrases on your resume

In grant writing, my thesis adviser recommends bold or underline formatting for key phrases or sentences that should “jump out at reviewers.” His thinking is that you don’t want a key point to get lost in a block of text, so you should draw the reader’s eye toward it. I was wondering if this would be a useful thing to do to my resume as a way to draw the hiring manager’s attention to accomplishments that specifically match those in the job posting. Obviously, I would use it sparingly or that would defeat the purpose. Would this be helpful for a hiring manager in the approximately 20 seconds (on average) that they spend looking at a resume? Or would it come across as gimmick-y and unprofessional?

It depends on how you do it. I’ve seen resumes that do this really well; the stuff they highlight is impressive and exactly what I want my eye to land on. But I’ve also seen resumes that highlight things that just aren’t that impressive, which actually harms the applicant more than if they hadn’t used bolding at all, because it signals that they don’t know what is and isn’t impressive. So it can work, but you want to make sure you’re using it appropriately.

(That said, I hope you don’t have blocks of text on your resume at all, and that you have bullet points instead.)

3. Troublesome ex-employee keeps eating lunch with current employee

I recently had to let go of a troublesome employee. She was let go because she always late for work or would not show up at all and was not following up with our customers. Ultimately, she cost our company a considerable account. When she applied for unemployment, she also lodged an informal complaint with us about another employee who she had worked with, claiming that he would not tell her the deadlines of projects and was vague about was expected from her in her position. We have documentation showing that this was not the case. We also have a three strike policy, so she was given warnings before we ultimately let her go.

That was about 2 or 3 months ago. It has recently come to my attention that she has been meeting one of our current employees for lunch almost every day. While I certainly do not want to tell my current employee (who is a good worker) who she can or can’t have lunch with, I am concerned. I want to make it clear to my current employee that she can not disclose information about our business, but I am not sure how to have that conversation or if I even should have that conversation.

Leave it alone. You’ll do more harm than good by appearing to try to tell your employee who she can and can’t socialize with. And if the former employee has badmouthed your company, you’ll give credence to her stories by making this type of unreasonable request.

It’s pretty unlikely that your current employee is disclosing anything that will be used to harm you, and without specific evidence that that’s happening, you really need to just ignore it.

4. Standing out after a second interview

Yesterday I had a second interview for a position. It’s down to three people, and I’m one of them. I’m looking to find a way to stand out. I’ve already sent thank you e-mails, which the first time I followed up with handwritten thank-you cards. too. Can I send those again? Should I just wait it out?

Send follow-up emails if you haven’t already done so this round. Make sure they say something different than you said before (especially since last time you did emails and cards, which was a bit of overkill!). And make sure that they’re not just thank-yous; they should add something to your candidacy, not just a thanks.

But beyond that, at this point you need to just wait for them to make a decision. The time to stand out has already passed (you hopefully did that with your resume, cover letter, and interviews). Use this time to figure out how much you want the job and what salary you’ll ask for. Good luck.

5. Did I blow this phone interview?

I had a phone interview for a position I was really excited about this morning. I feel that I am exceptionally qualified for the position, and it is the kind of job I have been looking for for a good while. Unfortunately, I think I psyched myself out because I am so excited about the position. When I received the call to start the interview, I found that I started getting really short of breath! I had prepared well and had some great answers to her questions, but I couldn’t even breathe and I didn’t get to answer them well. This lasted for the first two or three minutes, and I found that I wasn’t able to get out the answers I wanted to. At one point, I even had to pause and tell her that I was sorry and a bit nervous.

Fortunately, after taking a deep breath I calmed down and was able to give the answers I had wanted to give. The last 20 minutes of the interview went well, and I was able to go back and fill my interviewer in on some of things I had skimmed over because of my nervousness. She asked if I had any questions for her, and I asked if she would hold it against me that I was nervous and stumbled out of the gate. She said that I finished strong, and she wouldn’t.

Do you think I blew this phone interview because of my slight panic attack and nervousness at the beginning?? The goal is to get an in person interview if I did well enough on this interview, and I just am afraid I blew my chance because I stumbled out of the gate.

Nervousness in interviews is pretty normal; I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Interviewers are used to nervous candidates, and you eventually recovered, which is good. But I hope you didn’t really ask if she’d hold it against you (as opposed to just saying that you hoped she wouldn’t); phrasing that as a question puts her on the spot in a way that isn’t really appropriate. (I hope I’m not adding to your nervousness by saying that!)

6. Email font when applying for jobs

What style, size, and font do you suggest when placing a cover letter in an email? Sans Serif? Georgia? Garamond? Tahoma? Normal? Large?

Use the default text that comes with the mail program; don’t mess with it. Plain old normal default text is what you want.

7. Being required to care for patients 32 hours straight

I am an RN case manager in Pennsylvania for a hospice agency who travels to our patients’ homes to provide care and symptom management. My company is a nonprofit organization. The people I work with are very caring.

However, as case managers, we are salaried employees. When I was hired, there was no mention that the case managers were to take be on-call for all the after-hours staff when they want a day off or if one leaves (and until they rehire and orient another nurse, which can take up to three months); when that happens, we work to cover that spot and still have to cover our shifts. What this means is if my normal shift is 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., we will work this shift, then we continue to stay and work 4 p.m. to 8 a.m. At 8 a.m., we continue to stay and work our normal 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. shift before we are free to go home, which is a total of 32 hours. When our weekend nurse is off, we will work from 8 a.m. on Friday until 4 p.m. Monday evening — a total of 80 hours. According to the company, they can do this because we are just on call after 4 p.m. and may not be called out, but my experience over the last two years is that I only had one night that I was not called out.

I do not feel it is a safe to be operating a motor vehicle on the road when I am so tired that I am falling asleep while I am driving. I have had to call home on many occasions to ask my family to talk to me and make sure that I am answering them so I don’t have an accident and hurt other people while trying to get home. I feel that I can do a 24-hour shift and go home tired, but to continue to do my shift beyond that makes me too tired to make good decisions on behalf of my patients. I have also been scheduled meetings with families by the social workers on my days off. I have been to those meetings and been told that I would be given comp time, but something always comes up during that time and so I have yet to be awarded that time and have not gotten paid for the two hours of the meeting on my day off. How would you advise me to proceed and not risk my employment?

What the hell? That’s absolutely ridiculous, and I can’t imagine that your patients or their families would be comfortable knowing about it. Unfortunately, Pennsylvania doesn’t appear to have any law requiring time off in between shifts, so your employer can do this if they want to… Although perhaps there might be regulations within your industry that you could point to? It certainly seems like there should be, although “should” is no guarantee that there is.

If not, perhaps you and your coworkers could band together and speak to whoever sets this policy, making the case for changing it. Point out that you’re risking compromising patient care and that the fall-out will be terrible if something happens because of an over-tired nurse.

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when a coworker constantly interrupts you in-person instead of emailing or calling

by Alison Green on March 6, 2013

A reader writes:

I’ve run into an interesting question about a coworker’s communication habits. She works in a building across the street from my building, but has frequent interactions with employees in my building. The structure of her position is such that she needs to get information or make requests of people in my department and other nearby offices on a daily basis. Her preferred method to do this is not just to email or pick up the phone, but to walk across the street and speak in person. This typically happens 5-10 times per week, sometimes multiple times per day.

I wouldn’t think much of this (I might even applaud it) except that the underlying tone of her visits suggests that she thinks she will get faster results by coming by in person. I get the impression that she likes to put people “on the spot,” doesn’t trust others to do their jobs, and wants to come over to make sure that the things she needs are happening immediately. She has interrupted discussions with coworkers and my boss, and has commented when coworkers are out of the office or not available. Her position and mine are a similar levels.

Building relationships across an organization through personal interactions is undeniably a good thing. However, I think this person is actually making enemies with the frequency of her visits by communicating a lack of trust, and forcing coworkers to drop everything to attend to her requests. Her visits are pretty much all business. However, I suppose they are effective in that she gets a quick response. What do you think? Am I just over-thinking this behavior?

Ooooh, that’s annoying.

The principle to keep in mind here is that people will continue to repeat a behavior if it gets them the results they want. So you need to show her that this isn’t the fastest way to get things from you.

The way to do that is to decline to comply with her demands that you deal with her right now, this minute. When she shows up in person, say, “I’m actually on deadline right now and can’t talk, but if you send me an email with what you need, I should be able to get to it later today.” (Or tomorrow, or whatever’s reasonable.) Say it pleasantly, but say it and be firm.

If she pushes back with something like, “I just need a minute,” don’t give in. Say something like, “Sorry, but I can’t break my train of thought right now; I’m right in the middle of writing something. Send me an email, though, and I’d be glad to help.” And then turn back to whatever you were doing and continue doing it.

And if she interrupts a conversation that you’re having with other people, don’t let it happen. When she breaks in, say, “We’re actually in the middle of a meeting (or talking something through, or whatever), but I can call you later today.”

And frankly, if you’re moved to, you can also just tell her point-blank the best way to communicate with you: “I’m often focusing on a particular project, so unless something is urgent, it’s better to email me, or if it’s better suited to a discussion, to schedule a time to talk.” If you feel like being a good samaritan, you could also add, “That’s actually the case for most of us over here.” (If indeed it’s true of your department.)

Speaking of which, when she complains about people being unavailable when she shows up, you should cheerfully respond, “Jane is generally really busy. If you need to talk to her, it’s usually best to email or schedule a meeting. If you show up unannounced, she may be in the middle of something else.”

Overall, the point here is that just because she’s showing up and asking for something, you don’t need to give it to her that very second. You’re the manager of your own time, and you’re entitled to make decisions about what the most important use of your time is at that particular moment. (Obviously, don’t do this if your job requires something different to or if she’s well above you in the hierarchy — but neither of these sounds like the case here.)

I should also note that you don’t have to be 100% rigid about it. For the sake of being nice, you can occasionally allow one of these interruptions — but you should at least refuse more of them than you allow, because she’s shown that she won’t respect your time on her own and therefore needs boundaries demonstrated.

Sadly, this is often the way you have to deal with people who don’t respect normal boundaries. If someone is a normal, polite person, there’s no problem with letting them sometimes inconvenience you — because you know they won’t learn the wrong lesson from it. But when someone inconveniences you all the time, you need to take a firmer stand. These are the people for whom the saying “give an inch, take a mile” was invented.

Stop letting her have the inch. She’s forfeited her claim to it.

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my boss lied about my accomplishments to try to get me promoted

by Alison Green on March 6, 2013

A reader writes:

I have a great boss who really likes me and wants to see me promoted. I have only worked with her for about 5 months. Some restructuring happened within the company recently, and she was moved to a different department. When she heard they were bringing in a new manager, she met with him and lied about some of the things I’ve done. I guess she wanted me to sound more impressive so that he would consider me for a position that had opened up.

I appreciate that she wants me to move up in the world, but I’m really uncomfortable with the way she’s going about it! I want this promotion, but now I feel like I either have to go along with what she’s fabricated or I need to mention that I did not do those things and expose her as someone who lied about my credentials. I really enjoy my former boss and don’t want to ruin my relationship with her, especially since I still do some things for her department. What can I do?

What. The. Hell.

Who does this?!

She might think she’s helping you, but she’s actually hurting you. First, she’s put you in an incredibly awkward position. Second, she should want you to end up in a position that you got on your own merits, without deception. Third, by lying about what you’ve done, she’s risking pushing you into a position that you might not be the right fit for — and could end up struggling (or worse) in.

Tell her to cut it out. You can thank her for advocating for you, but tell her that you need to ensure that she’s not cheerleading you to the point of misrepresenting things. If you’re uncomfortable saying this point-blank, you could ease into it by saying, “Bob sounds like he thinks I did X, Y, and Z while I was working for you. I’m trying to figure out why he thinks that — do you have any insight?” If she then tells you that she said those things, you can look concerned and tell her that you appreciate her support but that she’s putting you in a tough situation and that you absolutely don’t want to misrepresent yourself (or to have her do it on your behalf).

If this doesn’t work, or if realistically you’re not going to be able to bring yourself to have this conversation, then we have to turn to how you handle it with the new manager. You have two options there:

1. You can proactively tell him what’s going on. Say something like, “I want to mention something I feel a little awkward about. It sounds like Jane has told you that I did X, Y, and Z in the past — and that’s actually not quite the case. I think she really wants to champion my work, which I appreciate, but I want to make sure that you have the right information.”

2. Or, if you decide not to deal with it proactively like that, you can simply not play along. In other words, if the new manager asks you about one of these things that you supposedly did, you can handle it exactly like you normally would if you didn’t know the back-story with your old boss: by just letting him know that it’s not right and correcting his information. For example:

New boss: “I heard you did a fantastic job leading the Smith account last quarter.”
You: “I’d love to take the credit, but I actually didn’t work on the Smith account — Jane handled that. I led the Beneke account and assisted on the Pinkman and Schrader accounts.”

That’s presumably what you’d say in that conversation if you didn’t know any of the back-story, and that’s how you could handle it now.

Whether you choose #1 or #2 depends on how significant and widespread her lies were. If it was just a couple and they were pretty small, you might go with #2. But otherwise, you risk looking in some way complicit if you don’t do #1 and the truth ends up coming out.

And by the way … your old boss is not a “great boss.” Great bosses don’t do this to you.

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