snow day open thread

photoIt’s our monthly open thread!

The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on anything you want to talk about.

If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet, but this is a chance to talk to other readers.

5 interview questions you should always be prepared to answer

While you can never predict with certainty exactly what questions you’ll be asked in a job interview, some questions get asked so frequently that you’d be foolish not to prepare answers for them in advance. Here are five of the questions that you’re most likely be asked.

(And even if these don’t come up, you’ll be better prepared by having rehearsed your answers to them, because they can easily be woven into the conversation to engage and impress your interviewer.)

What interests you about this job? It sounds obvious, but a surprising number of candidates don’t have a thoughtful answer prepared for this. Interviewers want to hire people who have carefully thought through whether this is a job they want and have concluded that yes, they’d be excited to do the work. If you flounder when asked about your interest and can’t explain why you’re enthused at the prospect of this particular work, you’re likely to get struck from the hiring manager’s list.

Why do you think you would do well at this job? The best answers to this question point to past experiences and skills that position you to excel at the work. You want to know your answer to this question backwards and forwards before walking into your interview … because if you can’t make a compelling case for why you’d be fantastic in the role you’re applying for, it’s unlikely that the interviewer is going to take the time to piece one together on her own.

What has been one of your biggest achievements? Savvy interviewers ask this question because they want to hear what you can achieve when you’re at the top of your game – and whether you’ve had many achievements at all. And moreover, even if your interviewer doesn’t this particular question, preparing an answer in advance is still helpful, because you work it into your responses to other questions. Being able to talk fluently about your achievements is a key way to show that you’re someone who produces outstanding results, rather than someone who simply does the bare minimum.

Tell me about a time when… (Fill in with situations relevant to the position. For instance: Tell me about when you had to take initiative … you had to deal with a difficult customer … you had to respond to a crisis … you had to give difficult feedback to an employee … You get the idea.) These types of questions – known as behavioral interview questions – probe into what you’ve done in the past, not what you say you’d do in the future. It’s key to prepare in advance for these questions, so that you’re not struggling to come up with examples off the cuff. That means that ahead of your interview, you should brainstorm about what skills you’re likely to need in the job and what challenges you’re likely to face. Then, think about what examples from your past you can point to as evidence that you can meet those needs. Talk yourself through how you’d present them in answer to these questions, making sure that you cover what challenge you faced, how you responded, and the outcome you achieved.

What salary are you looking for? If you don’t prepare for this question, you risk low-balling yourself or saying something that will harm you in salary negotiations later. Don’t let this question catch you off-guard; prepare for it ahead of time so that your answer works to your advantage.

I originally published this column at U.S. News & World Report.

wee answer Wednesday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

First, if you haven’t yet voted for Ask a Manager in the Bloggie Awards, would you please take a second to do it now? (I’m nominated in the Best Topical Blog category). Thank you!

Now that we’re done with that … it’s wee answer Wednesday, with seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go.

1. Being transferred to a location without public transportation

Recently there has been talk about my colleague and me being re-located to another office on the other side of town. This would be problematic for me, as I don’t have a car and public transport between my house and the new office is near nonexistent. I currently walk to the current location from home. Is there a reasonable way I can approach this when it becomes a reality?

Why not talk to your boss about this now, before any decisions have been made? Tell her that you’re concerned by what you’ve heard, because you don’t have a way to get to the other location. A reasonable employer will try to work with you on that, unless they don’t have options and your position absolutely has to move.

2. Required to submit photo and personal info for company directory

My company wants me to submit a photo and some info about myself for the company handbook. Is this an invasion of privacy? They say they want it for the new employees to get to know how you are. There are 3 separate buildings and we don’t have a lot of interaction going on between us. We don’t even get to see each other. I don’t want my picture taken an posted for an employee directory. To me, it is an invasion of privacy, as I am not well liked and it would open doors for me to get further picked on. Or if a job was to come open, people tend to be discriminatory about how you look. They have the nerve to make it mandatory. What can I do ?

Sorry, but nothing. This is very, very common for companies to do. You need to provide the info, although it certainly doesn’t need to be particularly personal.

3. Applying for multiple openings at one organization

Can you say anything about applying to multiple positions at one organization? I do not mean indicating, “I would also like to be considered for the [position 2] and [position 3] … positions” line in the cover letter for position 1, but applying separately to new open positions that are advertised after you’ve applied to position 1. In some cases I assume I should not send additional applications because the listings say they will review the application and match it against open positions. So sending multiple applications would be pestering, right? But what about situations where this is not stated? Is it safe to assume that if I’m not what they’re want for position 1, they will keep me in mind for future openings? If it’s not safe to assume this, should I just go ahead and apply to multiple jobs at the same org, as though I have not applied for an earlier opening?

You can’t always assume that. In some organizations, hiring managers won’t see candidates who applied for jobs outside their department.

People always ask this question, and there’s no good answer. You can go ahead and submit multiple applications on the assumption that they have different hiring managers who may not see your other application(s), but if they do, then you risk looking scattered and unfocused — that you’re not targeting what you’re really interested in or good at. So there’s no perfect answer.

Because of that, though, what I can tell you is that you’re better off if the positions you’re applying for are all similar to each other — in job substance and in level — so that you don’t look like you’re taking a scattershot approach.

4. Creating a contract for an unpaid internship

I am back in college earning an associates degree in a technical field. I will have to do an internship for one of my classes. I have only done them before with nonprofits. This will be different. I thought I heard once that you can’t do an unpaid internship with a for-profit company. Is this true? According to my instructor, we could set up a contract between me and the company that says I am working for them for educational purposes only and that I won’t collect unemployment from them after I leave and that they don’t have to pay me minimum wage.

It’s not illegal to do an unpaid internship with a for-profit company if the internship meets a set of criteria laid out by the Department of Labor, including that the internship must be similar to training which would be given in an educational environment; the internship must be for for the benefit of the intern and the employer must derive no immediate advantage from the activities of the intern; and the intern cannot displace regular employees and must work under close supervision of existing staff. (Of course, this law is broken all the time, but that’s what the law says.)

If your internship doesn’t meet these criteria, then there’s no legal way to waive your right to be paid at least minimum wage for your work. And any employer who would let you sign such an agreement is foolish, since it wouldn’t have any legal weight.

5. Does the file name of your resume matter?

Do hiring staff care too much about the file name of your resume? Most of my resumes are titled something like “Jane M – November 2010,” and I began to wonder if that would make them think that I’ve just been sending out this outdated file en masse since then. (The date indicates to me the date of creation or redesign rather than a “last updated.”)

Yeah, it’s going to look like an old resume. Document titles don’t matter much as long as there’s not something directly problematic about them, but in this case, yours is mildly problematic. Drop the date altogether or update it to the current year.

6. Should I get a masters in English?

I have an MBA from a top 25 business school. Over the years, I think I have made great use of it, starting as a financial analyst in a large corporation, rising to a recruiter role, etc. In my current role, I’m an assistant director and I oversee three senior staff and five junior staff. I’ve gotten glowing reviews though I’ve only been in the role about a year and a half. My question is whether I should pursue a master’s in English. I know it won’t help my career trajectory in my current role and will cost money and time, but I truly love writing and English. I can get the degree at a university that is about 20 minutes away in the evenings and it will take 3 years. Everything I have searched on the internet says a degree like this is a waste of time and money, but I have to say this is the field I’d always wanted to be in. Thoughts?

There’s a reason you’re hearing that everywhere. You don’t need a graduate degree to write professionally. If you want to write, start writing. What will get you writing jobs is having well-written published clips, not a degree. So start working on getting clips.

You might also read this post and this post and the comments on them.

7. When should I start job searching?

I’m a recent grad and so far I’ve only got a minimum wage retail job, which pays the bills but is obviously not my dream position! Thanks to your blog, I also volunteer in my area of interest and have redone my CV and cover letters.

My other half is currently studying, but where we live is too expensive so we are aiming to leave once his course ends in June. At the moment, I am keeping my eye on relevant jobs around the country, but I can’t really apply to any that state they are interviewing soon, as I am tied to my flat here for the next few months. If we are looking to move from June onwards, when would be the best time to step up my job search? I worry that something great will slip through my fingers because I left my job hunt too late.

Start now. If you’re contacted about a job that needs you to start earlier than you’re available, then you can simply explain that and withdraw from the process. But lots of others will move much more slowly, and if you wait to start, you’ll miss out on those.

update about dealing with the rumor mill when your boss is having an affair

Remember the reader who was wondering about how to deal with loud rumors that her boss was having an affair with someone else in their company? Here’s her update.

I am writing in to give you an update on the boss who was having an affair. I’m the coworker who wanted to try and squash the rumors before they got out of control.

Well, it went well and then very badly! It went well because I tried your suggestions and my boss started acting more appropriately/discreetly after I mentioned my concerns and the rumors stopped as I gradually just stopped responding to any mention of them when they were brought up, and would say it wasn’t a good thing to talk about at work.

However, it went badly as I am currently writing to you on her last day as the boss of this department, and she showed up at 11 a.m. completely drunk! She found out she was transferring to another department a while ago and completely checked out almost immediately. Luckily, between myself and my coworkers, the department stayed organized, though she managed to make a lot of people angry before she finished her time here. I’m not sure why she decided to show up drunk on her last day, but at least it’s her last day, right? The worst part has been that we interviewed a candidate for a position today and my boss ran the interview. Needless to say, it did not go well.

In the end, this whole mess works out well for me because her transferring means I am stepping up into a new position that comes with a raise. And I suppose this will make for a funny story after it stops being mortifying to think about!

my bosses want to know how I’ll improve my performance … but I’m sleep deprived with a chronically ill child

A reader writes:

My two-year-old son has a chronic illness that requires weekly therapy, weight checks, and regular doctor visits. Not to mention the day to day toll of caring for him; we have to stay on our toes and respond to his body cues for his complicated care. The worst episodes happen at night and we live on less than 5-6 hours broken sleep a night. I am a litigation paralegal for a plaintiff firm (no billable requirement). My firm has been very understanding and allows me to take the time I need, etc.

I admit to being distracted and not performing at my best. Nothing major like blowing a deadline, but little things like not keeping up on filing, projects taking longer than they should, etc. Two mistakes last week (not getting a letter out as requested and forgetting about a phone call) caused the partners to call a meeting to address their concerns. They took it further than I think was necessary and told me I wasn’t invested, didn’t care and they don’t trust me. I admitted to them I am distracted and overwhelmed by my son’s care. But I certainly do care about my job. I am ashamed that I have lost their trust.

They want another meeting wherein I acknowledge my shortcomings and my plan to turn things around. I’m not sure what they need. I can’t cure my son (there is no cure). My plan is to acknowledge again that I’ve been distracted, overwhelmed and sleep deprived. Apologize and say we are trying to make major changes on the home front to give me relief. I also am talking to my doctor about medication for anxiety. Should I mention that? I don’t want to lose my job. In better times, I really like my job and right now, I can’t afford to lose it. What else can I say that lets them know I am going to do my best to improve?

I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this.

Here’s where your bosses are coming from: While it sounds like they’ve been understanding about your situation in the past, they also rely on you to get your job done, and to get it done in certain ways (i.e., at a certain speed, with a certain attention to detail, and so forth). If you’re not meeting the bar they need, they’re going to get worried — because they need that stuff handled.

What they’re looking for you now are signals that you received their message and that you’re taking it seriously and will be actively working to remedy the issues they raised. They’re looking to make sure that you’re not blowing off their concerns or minimizing them, and that you have both a commitment to tackle those issues and a realistic plan for doing that.

So, for instance, you might say something like this when you meet: “I appreciate you raising your concerns with me last week. I’m mortified that it was necessary. I heard you loud and clear, and I’m going to be working on some changes to address the issues you raised. To be honest, the situation at home has been interfering with my sleep and causing me a lot of stress. We’re going to make some major changes at home to give me some relief there, and I think that will help significantly. I’m also going to redouble my efforts to be vigilant about staying on top of things here. If there’s anything specific you’d like me to do in addition to this, I’m very open to hearing it, but I want to assure you that I take your concerns seriously and I’m going to be working hard to perform at the level you need from me.”

There’s no mention here of talking to your doctor about anxiety medication, because that’s more information than they need. They just need to know that you’re addressing this stuff in some credible way, and the wording above (or something similar) should accomplish that.

You might also check back in with them in, say, a month or so, because revisiting it shows that you did indeed take it seriously, that you care about how you’re doing, and that you’re not just hoping they’ll forget there was an issue. You could say at that point that you’ve been working to make changes, that the results have been ___, and that you want to check with them to see if they have continuing concerns or whether there’s anything else you should be doing. So few people take this step when they’ve been admonished, and it will reflect well on you if you do it … because it conveys, “I’m able to maturely discuss these issues without hiding from them, and I’m as interested in things working smoothly as you are.”

I hope this helps. Good luck, both with the job and at home!

my company is promoting me without discussing salary

A reader writes:

I have been offered a promotion to a manager position, recommended from my current manager. He has already begun to train me in doing his duties, since he is leaving for a different job. He has already told the owners that he recommended me becoming his replacement. I have asked him several times about discussing my pay and benefits package, but he keeps giving me the same answer: They are in still in the talks about final approval, etc. Now he has started his new job, and I am currently scheduled to manage the store, without having actually sat down with the owners to discuss my salary. I’m not sure how I should approach this. I like this company, but the way they are approaching this has me worried.

I get a surprising number of variations of this letter, all essentially saying, “I’m taking a new job or a promotion, but we haven’t yet nailed down the salary.” This makes me a little weepy.

Here’s the deal: If you accept a job without discussing salary, you have relinquished your negotiating power. You’re essentially saying, “I’ll do this job for anything you want to offer me.”  In your case, you might not have formally accepted but I’d bet you anything that they think you’ve accepted through your actions — if you start training for the job and acting as if you’re going to be doing the job, and salary hasn’t yet been discussed, your employer is going to assume that you’re taking the job, regardless.

You have to talk salary before you start acting as if you’re taking the job. (Or at least you do if you care about getting paid a certain amount.)

In this case, before you got too far into the training, you should have said, “I’m definitely interested in this promotion, but before we go too far, I’d like to discuss the salary.” When your boss told you that the owners were still “in talks” about final approval, you’d then say, “I understand. Please let me know once they’re ready to talk with me about salary. If you’d like me to train in the meantime, I certainly can, but I want to make sure that it’s clear that I can’t accept the position until we’ve discussed the salary.”

And then — and this is important — you need to stay clear in your own head that the position is not a done deal, because you haven’t discussed salary yet. If you start thinking of it as final — because you’re training, after all, and everyone is talking to you like this will be your new job — then you will start thinking of it as final, and that will make it much harder for you to stand up for yourself when salary finally does get discussed … because you need to be willing to walk away if the salary isn’t right.

And that’s the key thing here: You need to be willing to walk away if you can’t come to terms on salary. Your employer needs to know that you’re willing to walk away, and you need to know it too. Otherwise there really isn’t a salary negotiation at all; it’s just them telling you what you’ll be getting paid, and you accepting it. Even if it’s no salary increase at all.

So, as for what to do now … Contact the owners or whoever you currently report to now that your boss is gone and say, “I’m very interested in taking on Bob’s role, which he’s trained me for, but we haven’t yet had a chance to formally discuss it. I’d like to talk with you about the terms of the offer, including salary. When can we sit down and speak?”

If they put you off and push you to start doing the new job now, you need to hold firm: “I’m not comfortable taking on a new job without discussing the terms, such as salary. I want to make sure that we’re able to reach an agreement on salary before I start in that role. When can we have that discussion?”

If you let them push you into starting work now, you will have very little negotiating power at whatever point they do decide to talk to you — because you’ll have already shown that you’re willing to do the work at your current rate of pay.

Always, always, always talk about salary before agreeing to a new job or promotion.

tiny answer Tuesday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

It’s tiny answer Tuesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Is it worth joining this honor society?

I just started getting mailings soliciting my membership in The National Society of Collegiate Scholars. I checked and it’s legit (for what it’s worth) and the invitations are GPA-based, so it’s not an “anyone who can pay gets in” sort of thing. The lifetime membership fee is not negligible, but also not particularly onerous ($75), and it’s a one-time expense. But it’s not something I’m going to shell out for if there’s no tangible benefit to me beyond the chance at a few scholarships and an ego boost.

However, one thing they tout is that you can put your membership on your resume. And I’m sure you can — the question is, assuming that it is a legit and reasonably well-known honor society like the NSCS, do hiring managers care one way or the other? Because if you do, that might be worth the investment.

Nope, not at all. If your GPA is impressive, list your GPA. But employers don’t care about this type of membership.

2. Asking for a more private office space

My position is being moved from our downtown offices to a location nearer to my home – yay! I have no problem with this whatsoever. But … the new workspace (cubicle) is in a very open space compared to the rest of the open plan office spaces. Also, it is quite smaller than the space I have been used to occupying. I would have to downsize on quite a bit of my historic documents and files. I have asked the facilities manager if I could swap spaces (there are a couple of “empty” cubes – being reserved for people who have yet to be hired).

I know for a fact that I will not be comfortable in a workspace that is as open as this (I would be constantly worry about who was checking out my work). There is a completely unused cubicle space (not assigned to any yet-to-be-hired employees)…it is just used as storage space for filing cabinets. I am not trying to cause problems and I’m trying to come up with solutions – would it be wrong to go to senior management and suggest that they move out the filing cabinets and set up a suitable workspace for me? After all, I am not a new employee, and have a stellar record of accomplishments. Is it too much for me to ask to be comfortable?

It’s fine to ask. Don’t go to “senior management” though; go to your own manager. Be prepared that they just might not be able to do it though; they may want to use the space for the filing cabinets that are currently there. (And realize that those yet-to-be-hired employees may actually have a higher need for privacy than you do, based on their job duties — try not to take it personally if so.)

3. Prospective employer wants me to meet with an industrial psychologist

I have just concluded 3 rounds of interviews with a firm and the prospects are excellent. Now they have asked me to meet with an external industrial psychologist. The job I am applying for is a senior position (associate), but they have clearly stated that they are looking for a candidate who will eventually take over a senior management position. I have never done a face-to-face psychological interview. What is the purpose of such an interview and how much personal information is necessary to divulge to this company?

They have also indicated that this half-day meeting will be confidential and that the hiring company will only receive a summary report of my discussion. Is there anything more that I should know about this exercise? I am a little leery.

Some companies use industrial psychologists to help determine fit with the position they’re hiring for. But this interviews aren’t generally about the sort of invasive psychological questions you might be picturing — they’re not going to ask you about sexual fantasies or tensions with your mother. They’re going to ask questions designed to get at the traits and skills they’re looking for. I’d treat it like any other part of the interview process. And if you’re asked something you’re not comfortable answering, it’s fine to say that.

4. Negotiating salary when becoming a full-time, non-temp employee

I am currently a contract employee (the company’s term) for a large, international company. Although they posted the position and interviewed me, I am paid through a third party employment agency. During the initial salary discussion, I was told my requested salary was at the top of their range, but when I received the offer, it was for this top number and sweetened with 6 paid vacation days, so I accepted. (It is paid hourly.)

I started last May as a part-timer (3 days/week), and will soon be moving to full-time. I expect at some point the company will ask me to become a full-time “permanent” employee instead of contract (most employees here started out that way). My question is, can I negotiate a hiring starting salary at that point? And how much can I ask for? I know the company pays the third party employment office over and above what I make hourly to “employ” me, but how much of that can I expect to recoup for myself? I should add that I very much enjoy working here — it’s a great job, great culture, and great people! I really couldn’t ask for much more other than the security of being permanent. Are there rules for this sort of negotiation?

You can certainly try negotiating. Keep in mind, though, that you might not be able to “recoup” what they were paying to the employment agency. They’re paying that fee for a purpose: to have the agency handle the administrative pieces associated with your employment, to be able to replace you with a minimum of fuss if needed, etc. So you shouldn’t base your salary argument on that. Rather, you should research what’s reasonable to ask for just like you would with a new job, and build your case around that.

5. Manager didn’t turn in my internal job application

My supervisor did not complete and turn in my internal job application. I gave her plenty of time to do it and she said she would turn it in. I am home-based and do not go in the office. She did not turn it in and never even filled out her part. The job posting closed. Do I have legal recourse?

No. It’s unfair and bad management on her part, but there’s nothing illegal about her neglecting to do it.

6. Banning certain foods from the office microwave

Can you ban certain types of food from being cooked in the microwave in the workplace, such as fish? Is it legal?

Of course it’s legal. There’s no law protecting workers’ right to microwave smelly foods.

7. Applying for a job where husband’s job search might complicate things

In November, I applied for a position in another state. Time marched on and nothing happened. Meanwhile, we were lucky enough to find another government job in the same town for my husband. He made the cut and his name was sent forward to the hiring official. Several weeks later, the job was canceled and readvertised for the employees of a particular agency only — not his — so he couldn’t apply. The job I applied for readvertised for a particular agency — mine — I reapplied and have a call. We are looking daily for him, but have found nothing.

We both would not mind moving. We are more than willing to trade in our daily 3-hour commutes for a 20-minute commute — not a problem. Bottom line, I want to be a contender — I have a very good chance and it would be a promotion. How to I gracefully answer questions about him and his employment? If he is unable to find a job, it will be a dealbreaker. Also, we would need to move — very complicated. We do have a child and would look at the end of the school year — is this unreasonable?

Government hiring often moves slowly, so waiting until the end of the school year might not be a deal breaker, but you’d need to ask. Only they can tell you.

Regarding your husband, you’re unlikely to be asked questions about him and his employment — or at least you shouldn’t be. Your husband’s situation is none of their business. (And this isn’t academia, where they might ask because they’d want to hire you as a package.) If he’s ultimately not able to find a job there, you can turn down the offer if you get one. But there’s no reason to get into details with them about that situation.

surprise visit from background investigator — at current workplace

A reader writes:

I am writing on behalf of my husband. He has been employed with a small company since October after being unemployed since February. Over the last year, he has applied for a number of positions, including one with a large federal department. The hiring process for this position is lengthy and the steps associated with it are pretty unclear. He is not even sure if he wants this position since he hasn’t yet had any in-person contact with anyone from the department. Everything thus far has been via email, forms, and video interview.

The position he is in the running for doesn’t operate with a high amount of security; he would not be armed and the words “secret” or “private” would not be in his title. He has completed an interview test, fingerprints, and is currently undergoing a background investigation. I work in a similar position for a different federal agency. From my experience, my background investigation involved a questionnaire being sent to various members of friends and family and possibly a few phone calls being made. We are also familiar with friends undergoing similiar background checks, which have involved us being interviewed regarding our relationships with them.

Today, while he was in the field performing his work duties at his current position, his manager contacted him to let him know that a federal detective was at his current place of employment looking for him. As I mentioned, he has been there for less than 6 months and is technically still under probation. Of course, his current manager was completely caught off guard by this, as everything happened without any notice. He informed his manager that he did in fact apply for a position with a federal agency in the last year. The detective informed his manager that he signed a release form last month for the background investigation to take place. Of course he signed the release form! How else would the hiring process continue?!

The investigator wants to set up a meeting with him and his manager next week. His manager thinks this is ridiculous and does not think that he should be spending time meeting to further the employment opportunities of his staff. The investigator also mentioned that he would be coming by our home, most likely without notice.

(The relevant federal regulations do say: “It is a requirement of a background investigation, and actual employment, that your current employer be contacted. We must verify your employment data and make other inquiries concerning your background. If you are a Federal employee or contractor, for example, it may be that your current employer needs you to have a security clearance for the work you do. In other instances, you are asked to complete the investigative form for an investigation and clearance only after a conditional offer of employment has been made for a position requiring a security clearance.”)

We are both in a little shock about this situation. I think this is simply absurd. Are there any rules regarding this? What is the best way to go about handling the situation from here on out with his current manager? Could his current job be in jeopardy?

I suspect that the problem here is that your husband was operating according to private sector norms. In the private sector, background checks and reference checks generally don’t happen until the very end of the hiring process — and people normally have an idea of when they’re reaching that point (often because they’re directly told). But in federal hiring, background checks often start sooner … and moreover, federal hiring often involves far less communication with candidates, meaning that your husband could be at the very end stages of the hiring process — i.e., background check time — without realizing it.

As you note, though, your husband signed a release form agreeing to have this background investigation begin. He gave his permission for this. He might not have quite understood what that would mean, or when it would happen — but those forms are pretty literal about this stuff: they don’t hide the fact that they’re going to talk to your current employer, and they don’t hide the fact that when you authorize the investigation to begin, it’s going to begin.

Now, is there a conflict between these practices and many candidates’ need to keep their job search secret from their current employer? Absolutely there is. It indicates a total lack of recognition that some employers fire people if they hear they’re job searching, or penalize them in smaller ways. It’s hugely problematic. But at least for now, it’s still the way the government hiring works.

In any case, your husband is going to need to decide how to handle this with his manager. Does he want to come clean? Does he want to say he applied back before accepting his current job? That’s for him to figure out, which he should do based on his knowledge about how his manager operates and the likely consequences of each option.

But he should also pay more attention to forms he’s signing. Because they did tell him quite explicitly that this was coming, and he had a chance at that point to ask for more information about the process or to decide how to handle it with his boss.

coworker is constantly eating, burping and watching YouTube videos 7 hours a day … and then asks for hugs

A reader writes:

I work as a secretary/receptionist for a small local government. I’ve held the same position for approximately 8 years. It’s a rather industrial environment and I’ve never had an issue with any of the people who I have shared my office with over the years.

Last year, the fleet maintenance coordinator retired and his replacement was appointed. This person is the most disgusting, loud, obnoxious, self-unaware human being I have ever encountered, and working with the public like I do, with their propensity to be negative, hateful and belittling, that’s really saying something. This coworker eats carrots or celery, apples and pears every hour … and I have never heard something so loud. He is overweight and has a nasal problem where he can’t breathe very well, so he eats with an open mouth, making the carrot cracking and pear slurping almost unbearable. Last week, he brought peanuts and almost all day sat with his trash can between his legs, cracking and shelling the peanuts, then pulverizing them in his mouth while he watched You Tube videos of horseshoe making … 30 minutes at a time of “Ting! Ting! Ting!” as the blacksmith pounds the metal to make the shoes.

Mind you, we all have basic desktop PCs, and all of the PCs in the office have been heavily blocked from accessing any streaming content, social websites like Facebook or Pinterest … all PCs except his, apparently. His computer screen is easily viewable to any person walking into the office, both those that work here and the general public. I walked in from being out for lunch, and he was watching a video on how condoms are made. Another time I walked in and he was watching a professional bikini contest. He doesn’t even try to hide his behavior or turn down the volume on his speakers. If some little old lady walked in to ask about her street being fixed and saw his antics, it would be disastrous for our reputation, which is already spotty because everyone always wants to say that government workers are lazy. I am not. He is.

Our boss’s office is also just a few feet away and I find it hard to believe he has not heard the HOURS of videos coming from the computer, or the constant eating, but so far this has been going on for a year. Another thing, he belches approximately 15 times a day, long, loud, wet belches. Super awesome. Oh, and did I mention that up until the last few months, he would wait until all the people were out of the office doing field work, and then come stand at my desk and ask me for a hug. Shudder.

He is generally well liked around the office, a jovial good ol boy. My office is small and I have not said anything to my boss because I would be seen as too sensitive or overreacting. I need this job. I’m a widow with two small children, and I can’t just quit because some mongrel is a disgusting pig … but it is hard to perform my duties when I have to answer the phone and help the public, while having to plug my ear so I can concentrate on the call at hand instead of the obnoxious “how to properly slaughter a goat” tutorial he is watching.

Plus, I will be the first person yelled at by a resident who calls in and is mad because they came in to do business and saw a city employee screwing off. In the odd chance that he isn’t eating and slurping, he sits with his feet splayed out and his hands clasped behind his head, leaned back in his chair watching tv. He smacks and chews his gum open mouthed so that the entire office smells of whatever he is chewing.

I’m at my wit’s end. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with this? If I could quit for another job, I would, it’s just not feasible right now. In the meantime, I’m going insane.

Honestly, start looking for other jobs. Not because of a single annoying coworker — those exist everywhere — but because you’re working somewhere that doesn’t care that people are flagrantly not working, and that’s generally incurable.

Your boss knows this is going on. With his office a few feet away, he knows. He just doesn’t care. So move on, because a boss who doesn’t care means that this isn’t going to be the last frustration you have to deal with. In fact, I’d be surprised if this has been the first. And that’s a far bigger problem than one annoying coworker.

Alternately, you can resign yourself to the situation and to the fact that your boss isn’t interested in managing, despite it being his job … but that type of resignation generally comes with bad side effects, like losing your motivation to do your own job well … which then starts affecting your own performance and reputation … so it’s typically not a great option.

Meanwhile, though, why not tell this guy to at least cut it out with the videos? Tell him that it’s distracting, makes it hard for you to hear callers, and generally annoys you. And the next time he asks for a hug, tell him clearly that that’s inappropriate and you don’t want to be asked again. (And WTF?) Speak up, set some boundaries, and make it clear that this stuff isn’t okay with you.

But really, this all says a lot more about your manager and your office overall than it does about this one gross guy, as annoying as he himself is.

Read an update to this letter here.

mini answer Monday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

It’s mini answer Monday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Am I getting a reasonable response rate to my job applications?

I’ve never had such a hard time finding a job. I’ve been looking for well over a year now and can’t seem to find anything that would be remotely interesting or worth my while. Over the course of the past year, I’ve sent out about 30 applications, which has produced 3 interviews. In all 3 instances, I was eventually rejected at the last stage because they had found someone more qualified. However, my feelings aren’t all that hurt because I’m only in my mid-twenties and I know that there are more qualified candidates out there.

What really bothers me is the poor response-to-application ratio. In the past, I’ve never had any difficulties getting an interview for every 5 applications sent. I don’t know what changed this time around. Do you think 3 interviews for 30 applications is a reasonable ratio?

Yes, thats a reasonable response rate, especially without a ton of experience. What changed this time around is the job market — there are now far, far more job seekers than there are openings, so you have a ton of competition. That said, I’d take a look at your resume and cover letter, since nearly every time people tell they’re concerned by the response they’re getting, the problem is their resume and cover letter.

(By the way, for whatever it’s worth, 30 applications in a year of actively job searching is pretty low. That’s barely more than one every two weeks.)

2. Was I unreasonable to refuse to drive 35 miles in my own car?

I don’t have a company vehicle. My director has asked me to drive 35 miles down the motorway to another office to meet with him to accompany him to a meeting. I don’t get paid to use my own vehicle for work, and although they will reimburse me for fuel, it’s not in my terms and conditions of employment to drive to other offices within our company. Do you think it was unreasonable of me to decline? And what if I did not drive?

The director drives around himself in a luxury company car, and he originally said he would pick me up but then had a re-think, I believe because he lives around 20 miles from our office.

It’s very normal to occasionally need people to drive to a different office for meetings, etc. If you didn’t drive, you would have raised that and they would have found some other solution, but since you do drive and do have a car, yes, it was unreasonable for you to refuse. The fact that your director drives a luxury company car has no bearing on this.

3. Did declining a same-day phone interview blow my chances with this job?

I have been working with a management consulting company that also has a recruiting component. I have had a couple of interviews and good leads from them. Two days ago, they contacted me about an urgent request for a great job and asked me to tweak my resume to reflect my qualifications that match the job description. I did. Then yesterday, they asked me for a same-day phone interview with the owner of the recruiting company (not the client company), with two available interview times. I was unable to do it and asked to push it to the next business day. My reason was that my kids are off school and I would be with them all day. I left a voicemail and didn’t hear back.

My husband is concerned that I blew my chance for this job, and that not being available for the same-day phone interview is a red flag. I can understand that they might have moved on without me due to the urgency of the request, but do you feel that not being available was a red flag and/or raised concerns about my reliability/availability to do the job? Should I have arranged child are for this interview? Money is tight, and if I wait a day, they are back in school, when I am free to speak uninterrupted without the additional expense.

No, it’s not unreasonable or a red flag to be unavailable for a phone interview on the same day it’s requested. It’s normal.

Ideally you wouldn’t have mentioned that it was because of a child care situation, because that potentially raises questions in their minds about whether child care will interfere with your availability once on the job — it would have been better to simply say, “I’m unavailable today but free later int he week.” But simply declining a same-day interview isn’t alarming and in fact is pretty common.

4. Why doesn’t my boss fire my awful coworker?

We have a member of staff who is consistently late and does not do her fair share of the work. We work at a day program for adults with dementia. On Friday, she had a disagreement with the coordinator of our program and so she grabbed her purse and coat, said “F*** y’all” and stormed out at 2 pm (our workday ends at 4 pm).

This is not the first time she has done something like this. Why is our boss not firing her and hiring a more responsible person?

Because your boss is a terrible manager.

5. Manager believes it’s illegal to give references

I work at a newspaper in Ohio. We had a reporter resign, and today was his last day. He hasn’t been the best employee (actually, he’s been a nightmare), so I asked my general manager, jokingly, if he was going to give him a good reference. My general manager then told me that it was illegal to give him any reference at all. He said he was only allowed to confirm the dates he was employed.

I found this odd. I asked him if he would give him a reference had he been a good employee? He still said no. He would still only confirm the dates of employment.

I’m planning to apply for other jobs at some point in the future, and by all accounts, I’ve been an excellent employee, earning much praise from the general manager and my editor. It bothers me that when I do decide to leave, he will potentially not volunteer that information to my prospective employers. Is this correct? If so, how often do you come by it and what are your thoughts about the practice?

Your manager is 100% wrong. It is not in any way illegal to give a reference, including a negative reference, as long as the content of the reference is accurate. Certainly some companies have decided to implement policies that they won’t provide references (although in reality their managers generally still do, at least for good employees), but that’s not the law — that’s an internal company policy. And a bad one at that.

You should tell your boss that you’re concerned by his practice because whenever you move on, you’ll need a good reference from him, and (presumably) have earned one. Show him this post. And this one.

6. Do applications when you’re under-qualified hinder you in the future?

I will be graduating with my master’s degree in a few months and am beginning to apply for jobs. I’ve read your post about how to get hired if you’re under-qualified, but is there any chance that applying for a position that requires at least five years of experience when I only have three years of part-time experience will reflect poorly on me or hinder a possible future relationship with this large and well-respected organization?

Probably not … although three years of part-time experience is pretty different from five years of full-time experience. If it were three years of full-time, I’d say to go for it, but you might be pretty significantly under-qualified for what they’re looking for. It shouldn’t hurt your future chances though, unless your application materials contain those awful statements that some people use like “I’m the most-qualified candidate you’ll find for this job.” Which you should never use anyway, but especially not in this situation, since it will make you look like you don’t appreciate how your experience differs from what they’re seeking.

7. I told someone he was getting promoted, but now he’s not

I’m a middle manager who was “promoted” without any warning a few years ago (didn’t really want the promotion but wasn’t given an option other than leavimg). So I have been in this position for several years now with little to no real training. Seems I keep making mistakes with my subordinates, but this may be the worst one yet. My supervisor wants to promote one of the people who works for me. My employee had somehow overheard part of the conversation and instead of telling him I knew nothing, I discussed the plans as I knew them, although not in great detail. Now it appears he won’t be getting the promotion. Yep, hindsight is 20/20. Not only am I likely in hot water for talking about the promotion, but what do I tell him? Do I wait until I know for certain that he won’t be promoted or do I talk to him now?

You need to walk this back with the employee. Without knowing more details, like how certain it is that the promotion won’t be happening, I can’t tell you exactly what to say, but at a minimum you need to tell him that plans aren’t finalized, that many things could change, and that it won’t necessarily go in that direction, and apologize if you implied otherwise. And if it’s certain that it won’t happen, you need to tell him that.  All this needs to be now, ASAP, before he spends more time thinking this is certain. The longer you wait, the worse it will be.

However, before you talk to him, I’d ask your own boss for advice about how to handle this, because this is messy and it seems like your instincts aren’t serving you well here — get someone else in the loop to help you. And yes, that may get you in trouble with your boss, but it happened and you need to come clean. And at this point, treating your employee right is the higher priority than keeping you out of trouble.

I’d also take a hard look at whether you want to stay in a management role. If it’s not for you — and you sound like you don’t think it is — you might be making things pretty bad for the people working for you. It would be worth looking for a different job if that’s the case.