Ask a Manager

It’s fast answer Friday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. My coworkers are all set against our new manager

My old manager left last month. His replacement starts in a week. So my department has been basically without a manager for a month. In that month, all the bad habits of my coworkers that the old manager ignored have just become more and more obvious and blatant.

Most of my coworkers do not like the new manager. We got to meet him and the other finalist for the job a while ago. We got the guy that they didn’t like. I liked what I saw of him because, unlike our old manager, I think he will actually be a boss and not a friend. I think he’ll make us do what we need to improve and go to bat for us with other departments when it’s needed. No one else agrees with me. They have all made up their minds, he hasn’t done anything yet and they all ready hate how he does things.

How do I deal with my coworkers? The new guy is going to change things. We aren’t getting any positive results with the way we do things now. And I’m game to try anything he wants to do. But I’m all alone in this. In this last week before he gets here, my coworkers are getting worse in their bad habits. I was pinned down in an actual corner and couldn’t escape while one of my coworkers had a fight with the head of another department, now she’s mad at me for not defending her. (I wasn’t going to touch it with a ten foot pole… She shouldn’t have started it in the first place and doesn’t take criticism. Period.) I know as soon as the new manager starts making changes, I’m going to have everyone trying to get me on their side where we don’t need to change anything because the way we do things is perfect. And I just don’t believe that and can’t find a good way to come away from those conversations without them deciding that I’m on the side of the enemy and someone to be fought against at every turn.

“I’m willing to give his way a try.” “I think what he’s suggesting makes sense.” “I don’t see it as us vs. him.” Repeat as needed.

If they have a problem with that, let them have a problem with it. If this guy really is a good manager, it sounds like these aren’t people you’re going to want to be aligned with anyway, because I don’t see this going well for them.

2. Relocating without a job

I desperately want to relocate to a city five hours away. I only seem to hear back from jobs in the new city when I use a friend’s address
(I usually write in the cover letter that I’m moving “at the end of the month” or whatever). I am actually in a situation where I could move quickly were I offered a position, and I also have enough savings to move without one (8-10 months of savings). I notice you always saying that it’s easier to get a job when you’re employed, but I’ve also seen you say that, if you can, you should consider moving without a job if you want to relocate. I don’t know whether to quit my job and move, or keep working and applying from a distance. Will it look strange to employers that I moved to a new city without a job? I’m in my late 20s if that makes a difference.

If you can explain why you wanted to move to this particular city, most employes won’t be put off that you moved without a job. However, you’d be going from employed to unemployed, and that does make you less competitive, in the eyes of most employers. Since you can use a friend’s address and you could presumably make the drive to the new city on short notice if you need to, why not continue what you’re doing — so that you remain employed but also have the benefits of a semi-local candidate? That way, you also won’t risk using up all or nearly all of your savings if it takes longer than you think to get a job.

3. Bringing chocolate to your interviewer

I was reading another career related blog who I will let remain nameless. She stated that it would be a good idea to bring chocolate for everyone if your interview was right before lunch. She stated that it was a way to stand out and that everyone would be in a good mood for your interview and will remember you as the one who brought chocolate. After reading that, I thought, “No way am I going to do that because bringing chocolate does not make you a better interviewer nor does it make your qualifications better.” What do you think? Is this a nice gesture or is this going way too far?

Ack! No, you are absolutely right: Do not bring chocolates to your interview! Do not bring fruit or wine either. It will come across as gimmicky and like you’re trying to suck up, and it will not make you a stronger candidate; to the contrary, it will probably make your interviewer uncomfortable.

Whoever wrote that should be kicked off the Internet.

4. Listing short classes on your resume

I work for a state government agency. Our HR department offers a variety of professional development classes that we can take. Each year, we can choose from and take 2-3 classes. I always try to take advantage of these opportunities. How do I list these on my resume, or should I list them at all? Keep in mind these are only 1-2 day classes, so I’m not sure if I should even put them on there at all. To give an idea of what type of classes these are, this year I took Customer Service, Advanced Creative Problem Solving, and Legislative Process.

I wouldn’t list them at all. Listing individual courses is rarely helpful (as opposed to your overall program of study), but that’s especially true in a case where they’re only 1-2 day classes. If you list them, you risk looking like you think they carry more weight than they do.

5. Should you tell candidates they didn’t get the job?

I interviewed a candidate who I thought was an extremely strong fit. My boss was on board with the hire, but the boss’s boss, who has of course the ultimate say, didn’t like the person as much as we did and isn’t letting us hire him. The candidate has followed up, sending emails every couple of weeks asking how we are coming along in the search, and I think that we somewhat led him on with our enthusiasm. We also haven’t hired anyone else yet, so the position is still on the site. Do you tell candidates that they didn’t get the job?

Yes, absolutely. Always, always, always, and especially when someone has taken the time to interview with you! And is now following up and asking for an update! It would be incredibly rude and unkind to not respond to him. This is someone who put time into preparing for the interview, possibly took time off work, and clearly wants an answer. You owe him a response. Please let him know that you won’t be offering him the position — and do the same for all other candidates who are out of the running.

6. Toilet trauma

I’ve worked with some very odd folks in my life, and sadly this one does not take the cake. We have a new female manager (another department) who refuses to sit when she uses the toilet. No one would care, except for the fact that she also refuses to clean up the “after effects.” I’m trying to be nice here. Bluntly, she pees all over the seat and leaves it. We thought for a few weeks a guy must have been sneaking into the ladies room.

This might not be such a big deal, but considering that there are only 2 female bathroom stalls in our building, it’s a real problem. We know who it is, because with women we know each other by our shoes, but I am at a total loss how to handle this one. Our HR is not an option yet, and this company has a reputation for vindictiveness for reporting bad behavior. I’m considering a swat-style busted-you operation out of desperation for safe toilets.

Gross. Is it possible to put up a sign in the stalls, politely asking people to clean up after themselves (and even saying it’s been a recent problem)? Alternately, you could approach HR not with a complaint, but asking if they could order toilet seat covers because this has been a problem and let them handle it from there.

Read an update to this letter here.

7. Manager won’t give me goals or an evaluation

I have been working in the nonprofit world for 3 years, and I have been in my current role for about 8 months. My manager, who used to be in a role similar to mine, was promoted to his current manager level role about 5 months ago.

Since I began this job, I have had no performance goals for my position. Once my manager was hired in his new position, I asked that we discuss performance goals and I even gave him some suggestions of what I think are good measurables for my job. He said he would work on them and get back to me. I have been reminding him on a regular basis and I still have no performance goals. We were even supposed to have an official performance review session at the end of the year, where he said that we would discuss and prepare these goals for the new year, but that meeting was supposed to happen over a month ago and still has yet to be scheduled.

I still remind him often that this is important to me and he agrees, but I have seen no action in response. In fact, I have not had a single one-on-one meeting about my performance, good or bad, since starting my job 8 months ago. While I have never received any indication that I am doing poorly, I would like to ensure that my manager and I are on the same page in regards to where I should be focusing my time and how my performance is going to be measured. Not to mention that these performance reviews are used to decide annual merit-based salary increases.

I don’t think my manager is avoiding the goal setting and review process because he doesn’t want to do it, I just think he is very busy and doesn’t have a lot of experience in managing others. Am I asking too much by continuing to harp on this? Should I just take no response as an indication that I am doing well? I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I am blindsided by a bad review down the road because I wasn’t clear on my job expectations.

Your manager sucks. I’d try one more time, this time escalating the seriousness: “Bob, I’m really concerned that we haven’t solidified goals for my position and haven’t done my performance review. I’m uncomfortable not having any feedback on my work, not knowing what the measures are for my success, and not having a review, particularly since these reviews are used to decide on raises. I know that you’re busy, but I’m increasingly unsettled by the lack of these things.” Making it a more serious conversation might be the shove he needs. But if that doesn’t change anything, I’d write out your own goals and your own performance review (as a self-evaluation). I’d send it all to him and say, “Since it’s been X months since we originally talked about these, I went ahead and created my own. I’m going to consider these in effect unless you tell me otherwise.”

If you have an HR department that assumes managers are doing this stuff, you might also want to talk to them about the fact that it’s not happening for you. I’m not usually a fan of going to HR for much outside of payroll issues or benefits questions, but this guy is neglecting some pretty basic stuff.

It’s terse answer Thursday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How to get managers to share what’s happening in their departments 

I have recently been hired to increase communication within the company. I have thought about getting managers to write a few sentences every once and a while about what is going on in their departments and then posting those to our company intranet in a specified column. How do I go about getting a managers buy-in and precious time?

You have to convince them it matters, which can be pretty hard to do as a new employee. You might need someone higher-up to buy into the idea first, and then use their influence to make it happen.

However, are you sure this is the best way to get the outcome you want? These types of things often go unread (which then makes it still harder to get people to participate). A better way to get buy-in might be to involve people in discussing how to tackle the communication issue. Why not talk to managers (and others) directly and get their input? You might get ideas you haven’t thought of, and people will probably be more receptive to whatever you do decide, simply because they were consulted.

2. Old employer owes me back pay but can’t afford to pay it

I left my job at a tiny nonprofit in May 2012. It was a poorly run organization that lost the grant that had been paying 80% of the operating costs for years, and one by one my coworkers were laid off or quit. We all frequently went without paychecks for the last seven months I worked there, with our executive director taking the biggest cuts of all in order to pay the rest of us. The only reason a few of us stayed as long as we did was because we were committed to the mission and the population we served.

When I left, I asked for my back pay (about $10,000), and the ED told me that the organization simply did not have the cash to pay me but he would make sure I got paid as soon as possible. Over the past several months, I have checked in periodically to ask about the pay, and each time I have been told that they simply do not have the money. The last time I was told that they were trying to sell their building and once that was done they would be able to pay me. If I were better off financially, I would probably just let it go as a sort of “donation,” but I’m not really in a position to do that. The ED is a good man and I trust that he would pay me if he could, but I’m afraid that of all the people the organization owes money to, I’m on the bottom of the list since I haven’t threatened legal action (I know that at least one former coworker and a couple of ex-vendors have). I’m not sure what to do, and I would really appreciate any advice you can give me about how to proceed.

Did they pay the former coworker and vendors who threatened legal action? If so, it’s probably your only option to see the money anytime soon (or ever). But if they don’t have the money to pay you and others, even legal action might not change anything.

In general, I’d say that any time you’re working without being paid, you should assume you’ll never see that money — and only do it for whatever length of time you’d be okay with never getting compensated for. Sort of like with loaning money to friends or family — it’s only smart if you can handle the possibility that you’ll never see that money again.

3. Resigning to avoid being fired

Many applications I’ve turned in recently have asked a question like, “Have you ever been terminated or resigned to avoid termination?”

What does this mean? Say a manager tells an employee that he hasn’t met his goals the last two months and will be let go if it happens again this month. Employee realizes there’s no way he’ll meet this month’s goals, so he hands in a resignation letter the next day. Did this employee “resign to avoid termination?”

There’s no formal definition of the phrase, so it’s open to interpretation. The employee in your example could probably get away with saying that was a voluntary resignation, although reasonable people could certainly quibble over that.

The practical version of this question is probably whether the employer in question would say you resigned to avoid being fired, particularly when talking to a reference-checker.

4. Should I take an au pair job to escape a job I hate?

I’m 24 years old and have been in my first job for nearly 16 months. I’m a marketing assistant in a small indepedent company but was originally hired as a trainee manager before my boss decided I wasn’t management material and moved me sideways.

The bottom line is I don’t particularly like my job – a good day is a day I don’t completely hate it and 5pm comes round quite quickly but I’m rarely doing something I actually enjoy. I’m also no good at it as I seem to constantly make mistakes and feel incompetent most of the time (I know for a fact my manager thinks I’m stupid as well). There may well be an opportunity for me to go and live abroad in Italy as an au pair for 6 months if not longer and I’m really tempted to take it as I’ve always wanted to travel / live in another country. On the other hand, they are talking about giving me a few more opportunities at work and people have pointed out that I may dislike my company rather than my actual job, which I admit may be a possibility.

If I’m offered the job in Italy and I decide to take it, I know I won’t look as good next to someone who’s worked solidly since they graduated but I guess my question is how badly am I ruining my future prospects? Particularly if I decide I was on the right career path after all.

I’m not a huge fan of au pair jobs post-college — they generally don’t do much to build your professional resume and can look to prospective employers in the future as if you were putting off joining the adult professional world. You’ll definitely be at a disadvantage when compared to peers who stayed on a professional track. It’s not fatal, but it’ll make your job search harder, something I wouldn’t recommend in a job market like this one.

But it sounds like you’re attracted to au pairing because you see it as your exit strategy from a job you hate. However, that’s not your only exit from this job — a better one is probably to start an active job search and find a job that you can leave for without setting your career back.

5. How do merit raises work?

I wondered if you could explain how merit increases work and how they fit into an annual salary discussion. I haven’t worked for a company that offered merit raises before (we just broached the subject of pay on our own at my previous employer and didn’t get a cost of living raise or anything) so I’m not familiar, but I’ve heard my new employer usually offers them. Is a merit increase usually offered in addition to any other raise you may discuss, or in place of? How much leeway do you normally have in negotiating the amount?

A merit raise is a raise that’s based on performance, rather than an across-the-board cost of living increase that’s the same for everyone in the company. Some companies do annual merit raises, some companies do annual cost-of-living raises, some companies do merit raises in some years and cost-of-living raises in other years, and some do nothing at all until someone proactively makes the case for themselves.

The amount of raises can vary widely. The national average salary increase is lower than most people think — 2.8%. Some companies do more than that for everyone, and some companies do more than that for top performers. It depends on how your company operates.

6. When you don’t have any references

I have been unemployed for 6 years. My last job was while I was still in college. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree 5 years ago and, due to an illness, was unable to seek employment. I eventually had to go on disability. Although I still have this illness, the doctors have found a treatment that helps to keep it under control. My question is, who should I list as a reference? I have not stayed in contact with my former employer or any coworkers (very poor decision on my part). The only former employer who would remember me is from a part-time job I held in 2002 (the employer happens to be a good family friend). Also, I’m afraid I’m being passed over by potential employers because of this huge employment gap. I have been mentioning in my cover letters that I was unable to work due to a medical reason, but that it is well-controlled now. What is your take on this?

You’ll just need to explain — say that because you weren’t working due to a health situation, you don’t have recent references, but you can offer your manager from 2002. (No need to proactively mention it — wait until you’re asked for references.) If you can, I’d also start to do some volunteer work now — both to get something more recent on your resume and to start building up a new pipeline of potential references. Good luck!

7. Managing a low performer who needs to improve in every area

Several months ago, I was promoted to management, with two direct reports. Our group is within a larger division of a few dozen computer programmers. Since that time, I’ve struggled with how to give feedback to one of my reports, Jack.

Jack is a smart, and in some sense, is good at programming; we hired him several years ago right out of a top 10 U.S. News college. However, he’s been “undersupervised” for years, and has developed a very poor reputation among his peers, and has been close to being fired several times. Usually the problem is that his work quality is low in general, but he also can have problems following up and similar.

The main difficulty I have in giving him feedback is that, for the most part, there isn’t any single area he needs to improve. He really needs to improve all over. Also, in our environment, employees are generally expected to be both self-motivated and self-improving, to some degree, and he hasn’t been demonstrating that.

You’ve said that a good manager gives their employee adequate warning to improve before their fired. In this case, I’m sort of at a loss for exactly what warning that should be; I can’t just say “do your job better” and “work harder or we’ll fire you.” Do you have any advice? What is the right thing to do here?

Yeah, you’re going to need to be specific, but don’t shy away from addressing it just because there are multiple issues rather than only one or two. Meet with him and say you have serious concerns about the level of his work. Pick the biggest areas — say, work quality, follow-up, and initiative — and talk about those. If you’re having trouble knowing where to start, describe the bar that you want him to meet — describe what you’d be looking for if you were hiring for the position today. Then give him some examples of how he’s not meeting that bar, and what needs to change so that he is. Give him a limited period of time to demonstrate the significant improvement that you’re looking for, and be honest that his job is in jeopardy if he doesn’t improve.

Since he’s been close to being fired several times before, this probably isn’t the first time he’s hearing about these issues. The difference now is that you need to clearly lay out what needs to change, a timeline for changing it, and the consequences if he doesn’t.

It’s wee answer Wednesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Mentioning a large raise in your cover letter

I’m working on some draft cover letters for my job search and I was wondering if it’s ever advisable to mention getting a significant raise (~8+%) after less than a year of employment, ideally to show how my work was valued at my company. In that same vein, do people who have worked in the legal professions ever mention how many hours they billed? I got a raise, a bonus, and billed over my target after a year of hard work as a paralegal, but I’m not sure if it’s okay to mention any of that. My gut feeling is no, but I’m eager to demonstrate my worth to a new employer and I thought I’d head to AAM to see what you say! Any advice you could give would be much appreciated.

Yes, you can absolutely include that stuff. Include context so that it’s clear why it’s impressive. For instance, “awarded significant merit raise after X months” or “was billing at X% over target after one year,” etc. (Disclaimer: Maybe this shouldn’t actually be done in the legal industry — readers?– but it’s the kind of thing that would certainly work outside of it.)

2. Coworker won’t stop wearing heavy perfume, even after HR talked with her

There is a coworker in my office who repeatedly wears so much perfume that the odor stays in the areas where she works and walks through. It is extremely strong and bothers several other employees. Our former HR director, who has now left, spoke with her about this issue, but she only started wearing her scent more heavily. We do have an HR coordinator still. Should this now be addressed a second time through these channels? I read in one of your articles about saying to the offender “Jane, I love your perfume, but I have allergies to scents and it sometimes bothers me, could you wear a little less when you are at the office?” But since there were several employees, none of whom wanted to approach this person, it was addressed by HR. But, as you can see from my statement above, she just started wearing it stronger. Any suggestions?

Her manager or HR should talk to her and tell her — not ask her, tell her — not to wear perfume that others can smell. If the problem continues after that, they need to tell her in sterner terms that she’s creating an uncomfortable environment for her coworkers and that the directive to stop wearing it is as much as a part of her job requirements as anything else — i.e., not optional.

3. Mentioning religious motivation for applying for a job

I’m a recent grad looking for a part-time position (I already have a great part-time gig, and am looking to supplement my hours a bit). I’m looking specifically in the nonprofit realm, because my religious beliefs motivate me to do social good not only in my private life, but my professional life as well. (I’m a member of the Religious Society of Friends, a.k.a. Quakers. A religious affiliation chosen in adult life, not one I was raised with.) However, I am afraid I am overqualified for many positions I’ve found, as I have a Bachelor’s degree (in a hard science).

My question is this: should I mention my religious affiliation as a motivator for seeking socially-laudable-but-low-paying work in my cover letters, or should I just skip it, so as not to overshare with potential employers?

Don’t mention your religion to employers. It’s too much a violation of workplace norms and will make employers uncomfortable (since it’s illegal for them to take your religion into account when making hiring decisions). However, you can certainly explain that your personal ethics and worldview emphasize charitable work, and that you’re strongly committed to working for social good.

4. Relocating when you can’t explain why you’re relocating

I am an assistant pastry chef currently living in the midwest. In about two years, I would like to be able to relocate to either coast in a similar position. I plan to spend the next two years attending a few short courses on pastry, building an online portfolio, and of course continuing my current job at a boutique hotel.

Much of the advice I see online presumes that I am moving to a specific place for a specific reason, and the sample resumes and cover letters reflect this. Do you have any advice on long-distant job searches when I’m not relocating for any reason other than that I would like to relocate?

Yes: Come up with a reason. Employers considering long-distance candidates tend to want to be reassured that the candidate is committed to moving to — and staying — in their area. Someone who just wants to relocate anywhere and doesn’t really care where is likely to be looked upon with skepticism. So when you’re applying for a job in San Diego, come up with reasons why you’re excited to move to San Diego, specifically. When you’re applying for a job in Boston, come up with reasons why you’re excited to move to Boston, specifically. And so forth. (And if you can’t come up with any such reasons for a particular city, reconsider whether you really should be applying to jobs in that city.)

5. Collecting on a finder’s fee

I am wondering about finders/referral fees. I mainly do political and online consultant work, and I was asked for advice on an advertising project. I knew someone that specialized in this field, so I asked him if it would be alright if I recommend him. He said yes, so I then asked for a finders/referral fee to be involved, which he agreed to (all over chat/email). Although I did not get the exact amount/fee in writing beforehand, I have a good working relationship with the party involved and we both understand that 5-10% is the industry standard.

Now the project is wrapped up, so I am wondering how to properly follow up with collecting the finders/referral fees? We have a good relationship, but I want to make sure the wording is diplomatic and commanding at the same time. If you could recommend how to respond in regards to collecting finders/referral fees, I will greatly appreciate it. Also, if you have any recommendations on how to properly set and document finders/referral fees in the future, that would be quite helpful.

I have zero experience with finders fees, so maybe someone who does can chime in here. What I can tell you, though, is that you need to get this stuff in writing at the start. That gives you a natural way to collect, and it also prevents the surprises that are inevitable when you haven’t even nailed down the amount of the fee. After all, you may be thinking 5-10%, but he may be thinking 100 bucks. And trying to collect “in a commanding way” on an agreement that was never fleshed out with real numbers is a good way to sour a relationship.

If this is a normal thing in your field, get a standard agreement, and shoot it over to people ahead of time as a matter of course.

6. Needing the work vs. being passionate about it

Would you rather (all else being equal) hire someone who NEEDS the job or someone who doesn’t need any job, but is passionate enough about the job to want to do it anyway?

To clarify (if necessary), say you have narrowed a selection down to two candidates. One doesn’t need to work but loves the industry, the work, etc. The other person need to work and is just as qualified, but maybe not as passionate. Or does this matter at all?

Granted, I don’t know how exactly this would be discovered in an interview, but would love to know your thoughts on it.

If everything else is truly equal — skills, experience, accomplishments, intelligence, people skills, and culture fit — then I’ll go for the candidate who’s more passionate about the work. That person is more likely to be engaged in the work, to go all out to get more done, and to think creatively about the work than someone who just needs a job. Plus, the person who’s less passionate about the work is more likely to leave when something that interests the more comes along. These are obviously wild generalizations, but hey, I’m responding to a hypothetical about two totally equal candidates, which rarely happens in practice.

Side note: It’s worth mentioning that passion on its own isn’t a qualification and should never be viewed as a substitute for talent; it’s only valuable when it’s attached to the skills to do the job well.

7. Asking for feedback on interview skills after being rejected

I’m currently applying for jobs and I went to an interview recently that I felt went quite well. While I did not receive a call back from the employer, I was wondering if it was polite to ask for a critique of my interviewing skills or whether to bite my tongue?

Don’t ask for a critique of your interviewing skills; that’s not an employer’s job. They’re not job coaches, after all. However, you can certainly ask for feedback on your candidacy overall — that’s different.