update from the reader whose company started an annoying initiative involving health and religion

by Alison Green on January 4, 2013

Remember the letter from the reader whose company had started an annoying initiative involving health and religion? In the name of “wellness,” the company was passing out materials recommending attending religious services and drinking alcohol, among other things. Here’s her update:

A while back I wrote you about the company I work for joining the Blue Zones initiative and pushing everyone to be a part of it.

After hearing from you and your insightful readers I did write a reply to the most recent mass email from HR. The gist of my email was “I don’t know if you realized this, but Blue Zones prescribes X practices and recommending these practices in the workplace will likely make Y uncomfortable. I hope we can reconsider our participation in this program.” I received a reply from an HR manager, who wrote that Blue Zones is a voluntary program and a “learning opportunity.” She blew off my concerns and directed me to the program website. Her email annoyed me and I planned to write back, but I didn’t get around to it and there was a holiday weekend. At some point I felt that too much time had passed and I hadn’t seen any new Blue Zones promotions anyway.

Then one Monday morning everyone had flyers on their desks that read “We need your help to meet (company)’s goal!” This is the only time I know of that flyers have been distributed that way, to everyone. The HR person who had responded to my email was also sitting next to the lunch line in the cafeteria, asking people waiting to buy lunch if they had signed up for the program. I emailed the HR person again, because I saw the flyer as a direct solicitation. This time I took text directly from the website, and stated again that it is inappropriate to promote highly personal choices that have nothing to do with work, in the workplace. I also stated that while I feel I am free to ignore people with clipboards at the farmers market (as the city government is behind Blue Zones), I am not free to ignore a flyer left on my computer.

The response I got included “Please do not feel you can’t ignore the flyer—simply put it in the trash if you don’t care to be involved” and “Our senior leadership is in full support of this initiative.” The part about putting the flyer in the trash seems snippy to me. She forwarded my email to a senior vice president of a group who is at this site, and that woman’s response was even more condescending. She wrote that this company is joining Blue Zones as part of a statewide initiative, and wrote that there is “absolutely no pressure for you, as an individual, to enage…” She also wrote “While not all aspects of the Blue Zones comply with your own code or decisions, they have been academically studied and are effective in support of a healthy lifestyle.” That last part is inaccurate, and the first part is just rude. Neither of these people actually owned their role in the initiative; they just assured me that people high in the company do support it.

And that ends my pushback on the Blue Zones. I’m sure this will end up as most non-work workplace initiatives do, with a small dedicated group getting very excited and most people just ignoring; the whole idea remains creepy. I’m glad that I spoke up so that HR does not mistake the apathy that most employees show for acceptance. I would not have sent the emails if I planned to be at this company for much longer, though, because squeaky wheels don’t get much respect around here. I’m actually planning a switch to a completely different career in the next few years.

Who’s up for “Wine@5”?

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how to list the dates of your current job on your resume

by Alison Green on January 4, 2013

This is a tiny, minor, inconsequential thing, but I’m telling you anyway because I’m neurotic about small things:

If you are currently employed, the dates on your resume for your current job should end with “present.” For instance:

Chocolate Teapot Maker, 2009 – present

not

Chocolate Teapot Maker, 2009 – 2013

If you do the latter, many of us will wonder if you’re still employed there or whether you left. And if it happens to be, say, December 2012, and your most recent job says “2009 – 2012,” we’ll wonder if you’re still there or whether you left 10 months ago. And then we’ll spend time asking you, when you could have been clear about it from the beginning.

Minor, very minor, but worth doing right.

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visitors to our office are out-of-control — and I’m in trouble for it!

by Alison Green on January 4, 2013

A reader writes:

I work as a receptionist, which may seem simple enough, but it’s not. For years before they hired me, the place where I work did not have a receptionist, so people were able to just come in and go to whomever they wanted. And many of them are still acting like nothing has changed.

Here’s just one example of a scenarios that happen on a regular basis: I will be working. Someone will come in and walk right past me. I will then yell after him, “Sir, may I help you?” Their reply: “I need to see J.” Me: “I need to call J first and make sure she’s available.” They will then say something like: “You do that” or “It’s okay” or “No, you don’t” as they continue going into the office. At this point, I have to decide whether to make that call to J. as they’re continuing into the office or run past them to get to J. first.

And if I’m away from my desk for any amount of time to make copies, fax, scan, stamps, mail, give something to a coworker, etc. (all things that are part of my job responsibilities), with a few exceptions, they will walk right into the office. I understand if I was away from the front for a certain length of time, but I’m talking about 30 seconds/1 minute to make a quick copy/scan/fax.

And then I get reprimanded because there are too many people coming into the office, but I just don’t know how to make them stop.

This job is making me miss working in retail. Sure, I had to work evenings, weekends, holidays for very little pay, but at least the customers were actually capable of getting in a line and waiting their turn. For what it’s worth, I have collectively around 7 years of experience working with the public, and I have always enjoyed it. I would really appreciate any advice.

You need to talk to your manager and find out how she wants you to handle this.

But before we get to that, it’s worth pointing out that since this place didn’t have a receptionist for years before now, it makes sense that visitors to the office are used to being able to just walk back to see whoever they want. They probably think you’re the new person who just doesn’t understand how things work, or who doesn’t recognize them but would of course make an exception for them if you knew who they were. So you might get better results by explicitly acknowledging that the office’s procedures have changed. For instance, smile apologetically and say, “I’m sorry, we’re not letting people walk on back anymore. I can’t send you back just yet.”

Also, when someone ignores your request to wait and instead just walks straight on back to Coworker J, you could alert Coworker J about the problem. Since these are your coworkers’ contacts — who in some cases are being rude — they might be able to take care of it for you. Make sure you explain to your coworkers that you’re being reprimanded when people go back on their own, so that they understand that you’re not just imposing new policies for the hell of it (everyone’s least favorite characteristic in a new receptionist).

However, regardless of all this, you need to talk to your manager because you’re being reprimanded for something you have little control over. Explain what’s happening, explain what you’ve tried, and that it’s not working, and ask how your manager would like you to handle it. If she says, “Just don’t let them go back,” then say, “When I try to stop people and they ignore me and start walking back anyway, what would you like me to do?”

Don’t say this in a petulant way, of course; your tone should convey that you’re sincerely asking for advice and help.

And if this is really important to your manager, you might suggest posting a prominent sign in the reception area that says “Please check in with the receptionist” … but no matter what you try, it’s going to take a while to retrain people who are used to doing it a different way, and you might point that out to your manager.

In general, whenever a manager asks you to something that you’re finding impossible — whether you’re getting reprimanded for it or not — you should immediately raise it with her so that you can determine together how to proceed — whether it’s changing course, coming up with a different plan of attack, or whatever. But you need to explain what’s going on, so that she’s clear on the situation.

What other advice do people have?

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fast answer Friday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

by Alison Green on January 4, 2013

It’s fast answer Friday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How much time should it take to manage people?

I have been putting together a time tracking grid so that I can better delegate and account for my work time. I was really surprised to see that I spend an average of 50 hours per year on standard supervisory duties per employee. This includes weekly check-ins, quarterly performance checks, individual metrics reporting, goal setting, and annual reviews. I didn’t include the time spent on additional coaching, team meetings, specific performance issues, daily questions/assistance, etc.

I would be very interested in finding out if other managers spend the same/more/less amount managing their staff — is this something you’d be willing to throw out to your readers?

I actually think it’s really low! If you assume an average of 45 minutes per week on a check-in, that’s 39 hours right there. Then you add in everything else — reviewing work, ad hoc conversations, goal-setting (which can be time-intensive), performance evaluations (also potentially time-intensive), quarterly goals check-ins, team meetings, giving feedback, dealing with performance issues, etc., and you’re easily at a much higher number. (And if you think about it, 50 hours per employee is only about six days per employee per year — that’s pretty slim.)

It’s absolutely true that the work of managing is time-consuming and will account for a significant portion of a manager’s week/month/year. It’s just the nature of the job, and it’s one of the reasons that it’s so important to be clear on the most important ways to spend your time (and what you should not be spending time on — generally anything that you can delegate, you should delegate).

2. Applying with an organization where you previously did less than stellar work

I am applying for summer internships currently. I have already worked for the organization with the position that I want the most. However, I did a less than stellar job (by my own assessment; I was never told that specifically). It was 5 years ago, and my research and writing skills were not what they are now. I also did not flourish in the position, which involved many hours a day of researching issues on the computer and little client contact. The new position involves lots of client contact, and would be a great fit.

My question is how I address why I’m a different candidate now. The person making the hiring decision is the same as at that time. I know it would be unnecessary and awkward to specifically say I’m a different candidate, but I am wondering if there’s a good way to drive that home without outright saying it.

Well, if they weren’t especially impressed with you when you worked for them, there might not be any way to turn that impression around now. However, I’d emphasize what experience you’ve gained in the last five years, as it ties into the job you’re applying for now, and let them read between the lines. For instance, “I’ve spent a good portion of the last five years doing X, Y, and Z, and was able to achieve Impressive Thing A and Impressive Thing B as a result.” If you have achievements in the last five years that you can point to, and your performance before wasn’t absolutely prohibitive, they should be willing to give you another look.

3. Explaining on a resume that you did the work of four people

Last year, two members of my department were laid off. Then my remaining coworkers found other jobs (including my supervisor), leaving only me to cover the workload of 4 people. Not that I was able or expected to assume all their responsibilities on my own, but I did work independently for about 5 months, meeting all deadlines and producing the same quality work, until we were able to hire someone else.

In your “No. 1 Question Your Resume Should Answer” post from a couple years ago, you state that it’s good to add an accomplishment such as this. So my question is: how do I word this on my resume without sounding whiny or hyperbolic? I can see it potentially coming off that way, but I am not bitter about it or attempting to exaggerate anything.

Something like: “Covered four-person department’s workload alone for five months, meeting all deadlines and producing high-quality work.”

If applicable, you could also add something like: “received accolades from management for keeping operations running while short-staffed.”

4. Emailed about a promotion, but this is the first I’ve heard about it

Help! My boss’s boss’s boss (the head of our medium-sized nonprofit) emailed me on the last day of the year to thank me for my work and congratulate me on “my recent promotion and new role.” Sounds great, but no one told me that I got promoted or had a new role. I was told reviews were taking place in late January.

My gut was that she sent it to the wrong person or that it was a standard email, but it was actually personalized — specific to my accomplishments. No idea how to handle this one. Any help/guidance would be appreciated. I have a pretty great working relationship with my boss, if that matters.

Depending on the relationships you have with each, you could either (a) email her back and say, “Thanks so much — although this is actually the first I’m hearing of a new role, and I can’t wait to hear more,” or (b) ask your direct manager what the boss’s boss’s boss meant. Whatever you do, don’t ignore it — if/when she realizes that you had no idea what she was talking about, it’ll look weird that you didn’t ask anyone about it.

5. Making a job-hopping history less detrimental

I’ve been working since I was 14, but I’ve always worked in restaurants which have a high turnover rate, so my job history looks bad if you glance at it. I’m 20 and searching for a job (mostly at big chains) with no luck. I meet all requirements for every job I apply for, but still nothing (mind you, I understand jobs are hard to come by). Recently a potential employer informed me that my work history is why I did not get the position I applied for. What can I do to make my job history less detrimental to my chances of employment?

If you have six years of job-hopping, that’s going to look bad. However, there’s no reason that you have to list every job you’ve held going back to when you were 14. I’d list just the most recent ones, or just the longest-term ones, leaving the other ones out. Because you’re young and were in school for most or all of that time, you’re not going to face the same questions that someone older would face about having gaps on your resume that show no work for a particular period of time.

But make sure the next job you take is one you can stay at for a while. Even if these restaurants have high turnover, that doesn’t mean you need to be part of it, especially when doing so has the potential to hurt your future job prospects.

6. Former boss is in prison

More than six years ago, I worked for a doctor’s office for two years. While I now work in the financial industry and have for a little over six years, I still list the two jobs I had at the doctor’s office, because one job (admin assistant) details experience that could support future jobs of interest.

While I discovered a few months ago that the business had closed and the owner of the business (who I assisted) was facing criminal charges, I didn’t think anything more of the situation. However, I’ve been informed and have confirmed tonight that the owner has been sentenced to 18 years and is currently serving her time in federal prison. She billed insurance companies for services not rendered and lied about how much income the business made when she filed taxes.

Although this all occurred years after I left the employer, should I keep the two jobs I held there on my resume? I don’t want a future employer to get a bad impression of me if they decide to dig to find information on this employer. This is especially important because I’ll likely apply for a low-level HR support position (like admin asst or recruiting coordinator).

If the work that you did that sounds at all related to the activities that she eventually went to prison for, I’d leave the jobs off. But if someone looking at the situation — without input from you yet, since that’ll be the case with most employers screening your resume — would reasonably assume that you couldn’t have known or had anything to do with it, then I think it’s fine to keep them on there.

By the way, if this were more recent work or the only work you had in your field, I might encourage you to keep them on there and simply be prepared to explain to employers what happened, but since this was six years ago and in a different field, you might not lose a lot by removing them.

7. Can I apply for a new job after only six months?

I took a job five months ago. It was a very tough job market and they pursued me. However, the period of adjustment, about six months or so, is seriously intense. I don’t dislike my job, but my commute is an hour each way and my doctor has put me on anti-anxiety meds! A really good job just opened, and it is near my home. Can I apply for it, and what would I say for staying only six months?

Do you have other short-term jobs on your resume (excluding jobs intended from the beginning to be short-term, such as internships, temp jobs, and political campaigns)? If not, and this would be your first, go for it. However, if you already have some job-hopping on your resume, ideally you’d stay where you are for a couple of years in order to make your job history look more stable. (Obviously, if your mental health is at risk, that might trump that concern.) But basically, everyone gets one short-term stay without penalty. If this is going to be yours, go for it. After that, though, you start risking your employability.

As for what to say to the employer you’d be applying to, I wouldn’t attribute it to the commute, as they’re likely to wonder why you agreed to take it on. Instead, you’ll need an explanation about why the job or culture isn’t a good fit, with all the usual caveats about not badmouthing your boss, etc. Good luck!

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creepy coworkers, difficult managers, and more: 4 more reader updates

by Alison Green on January 3, 2013

I said earlier that we’d seen the last of the updates from readers whose questions were answered here last year, but more have come in, so here’s a new batch.

1. The reader whose boss and coworker were living together

In regards to the coworker living with the boss at my company, the situation has resolved itself, in a way. The boss resigned from the company last June (something he had said he would do for years). That alone has dramatically improved our workplace: the guy was a toxic influence, he lacked leadership and professionalism, we all like our jobs more now, etc. But as far as the living arrangement goes, the coworker is still living with the former boss (and has been sleeping on a couch for over 18 months!). Supposedly the coworker is “looking for houses” but hasn’t made any moves yet. We still agree that this arrangement is odd, but don’t care nearly as much as we used to. I’m sure they still talk about our work, but as long as we don’t have to see the old boss, they can stay up all night and talk about it over coffee or whatever. So, problem solved from our end.

2. The reader hiring someone to work for a difficult boss

So I think where we left off was that I had found an admin to hire who I would then train to take my position. I finally was able to find one who claimed she had a “thick skin” and would not be scared off by my boss and his difficult attitude and antics. However, over the first 3 weeks that she began working with us, I noticed that she was actually a little bit manipulative and on a couple of occasions, I actually caught her making negative comments to my boss about me (she would blame any situation that arose on me, when they were things I had nothing to do with). I couldn’t believe it, but I was nervous to say anything so soon because I wanted so badly for her to work out and be able to eventually take my position when I left in September.

Well, unfortunately, I should have said something sooner, because after only 4 weeks with her in the office, she made up enough lies to get me fired! I found out that she actually made up some story about me calling her and saying something awful about my boss (which I would NEVER have said, let alone to someone in my company!) and he fired me the following Monday morning. My hunch is that she knew that in 5 months I would be leaving, which would give her an automatic promotion and raise, so she wanted to hurry things up a little bit. I was devastated, but I know karma goes around ;) I was able to win my unemployment case because nobody had any proof that the accusations she made were true (because they weren’t). I am thankful to have learned a lot of real-life skills from that job, especially to trust my gut and not let someone walk all over me, bosses or coworkers!

3. The reader who was asked to give feedback on her manager’s performance

Based on your advice and everyone’s comments, I decided not to give feedback about my boss. Given what I know about my boss, I felt justified in protecting myself from potential retribution for giving negative feedback.

My boss’s boss tracked me down on the morning of my boss’s performance review and said if I had any feedback that I should email it ASAP. I did not send anything. I’m 100% sure I made the right decision. I heard from a coworker that my boss’s boss did not keep feedback confidential during performance reviews and ha–in at least one case–named people providing specific comments.

I’m still job hunting and will be paying a LOT more attention to the management style of any future organization I join. I can’t thank you and your readers enough for helping me learn what good management looks like. Thank you.

4. The reader whose coworker was creeping her out, but she didn’t know why

I really found your advice helpful. I also found it interesting to see the range of responses in the comments section, and want to thank the whole AAM community for their thoughts.

As I said in my original note, this was a new situation for me — I’d never had that sort of reaction to a person ever before, and it definitely threw me for a loop. I’d say that not much has really changed since then, except that in talking to colleagues, I learned that several other women in the office (at least 4-5 others) have had the exact same reaction to this man that I did, which I thought was really interesting.

Since writing you, I’ve changed desks, which actually helped a lot, because I don’t run into him as much anymore, and he was moved off of the one project we were working on together (because it turns out he’s not actually very good at his job, but that’s a different story.) My MO is still to keep my distance as much as possible, which has worked for the most part. He still makes me uncomfortable, but I’ve figured out how to handle that internally and work with him professionally as needed.

I know some commenters were concerned that I’d say something to the bosses and destroy this man’s reputation without any concrete reason — that was never my intention, and I haven’t done anything like that. I was just looking for — and have developed — ways to manage my own safety concerns while continuing to be professional and productive.

Thanks again for your thoughts — I found them very helpful, if only to have some external validation that I wasn’t completely crazy! As a long-time reader, I’m grateful for your blog and the AAM community — it’s so helpful to read your thoughtful commentary on issues that most of us will face at some point in our careers!

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4 reader updates: swimsuit photos on the company laptop, annoying carpool, and more

by Alison Green on January 3, 2013

Here are four more updates from readers who had their questions answered here this year.

1. My boss has a bunch of swimsuit photos on the company laptop

I appreciate the comments and advice from everyone. I grew up in a culture where people would much rather sweep embarrassing things under the rug, which is why my first instinct was to delete the photos. In that culture the polite thing to do is to look the other way and act like it never happened.

When I gave the laptop back after typing up the report, I said, “Hey, there are some cruise photos of you in a folder, did you mean to save them somewhere?” He was a little red-faced, but thanked me and said he’d delete them.

2. I carpool with a coworker who’s often late and talks on his phone while driving

I originally missed your call for updates, because I am at a new job I love and don’t get to browse blogs at the workplace anymore! :) And the new job is thanks in large part to your how-to guide and the advice I’ve read on your blog. So thanks!

But the problem ended up resolving itself when I got the new job offer, and now I have a nice 15-minute walk to work! I never ended up saying anything to my colleague, and we still keep in touch as friends, and I’m glad in the end that I didn’t push it. I would like to think I can change everyone’s mind and control my safety at all times, but that’s not realistic, and it’s an impulse I needed to let go of. Some of the readers’ comments were pretty harsh, but helped me gain some perspective on the issue. In the end there’s no perfect solution, and I don’t hesitate to call out a cab driver for using their cell phone while driving me around, because I’m the customer. I hope that the culture will change, and one day it’ll be so shameful to use your cellphone while driving that nobody would think to endanger their passengers or fellow drivers with distracted driving.

3. Coworkers are joking that I’m pregnant after a couple of absences

I have an update for my question regarding my coworkers assuming I was pregnant. As I had hoped might happen, I did actually get pregnant a few months later (after some challenges that I alluded to in the comments on the original post). During my pregnancy, I didn’t get too many inane comments. I had my son in August and now I am going back to work this week and so far, everything is working out well!

4. Required to use vacation days for hurricane (#1 at the link)

Being docked for not coming in the day Hurricane Sandy struck is indicative of this company’s regard for its employees, and one of the many reasons my husband recently left this job for a new one. And when he left, there was not a single name he could give that company as a replacement because he didn’t want to subject any of his contacts to working there.

The new job may have crazy hours, including some overnight shifts, but the company (a premium cable network) pays the employees well, provides lunch and dinner if needed as well as cab rides home after 9pm, and generally treats them like valued members of a team. So, a happy ending!

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following up on my manager’s promise to try to get me a raise

by Alison Green on January 3, 2013

A reader writes:

At the end of November, I went to my manager to discuss a raise. I told her that I had been approached about two job opportunities that are paying about $15k more than what I’m making now. I’m happy in my role and not looking to make a change — and I told her that — but at the same time, that is a significant discrepancy in pay. I’ve done my own research and spoken to other people in my field and the consensus is that I am being underpaid.

She was very receptive when I spoke to her and thanked me for bringing the matter to her attention. She even said to me that if she was the one to hire me (the manager that hired me is no longer with the organization), she would have brought me in at a higher salary.

She told me that there was an Operations meeting at the end of the month and she would talk about seeing if they could get me a one-time increase on my base salary and then she would also make a case for me to have a good merit increase in April. Although she guaranteed no results, she mentioned that she’d go to bat for me. The expectations were that I would probably not get everything I was looking for salary wise but that there would be an increase coming my way.

I’m happy with the organization, the perks and the flexibility in the role, so even if I didn’t get all the way up to $15k more, I’d be happy.

I heard nothing back from her, so about two weeks after that Operations meeting I approached her again as a follow up. She brushed me off and said that merit increases would only be discussed in January and said nothing about that one-time increase she had mentioned in our first meeting. I was a bit taken aback so I didn’t say much and just left her office without getting answers.

Do you have any advice about how I should proceed? Should I ask her again about my salary or discussions of a raise or should I just leave it and wait for her to get back to me? I really don’t want to leave my job, but at the same time I do work hard and I think I should be paid fairly for the work that I do.

She’s handled this badly.

It sounds like she talked to someone above her about increasing your salary and was told no, and that the only way to address your salary would be through the company’s regularly-scheduled merit raises. At that point, if she truly felt that you were underpaid according to the market and the company’s own pay structure, and if she thinks you’re a high performer who she doesn’t want to lose, she should have pushed her case for raising your salary to market level in order not to lose you. And if she was unsuccessful at doing that, then she should have come back to you and explained the situation.

Instead, she’s blown you off, which is the exact opposite of what she should have done. After having the initial conversation in which she agreed you should be paid more, she owes it to you to follow up with you in a real way, even if it’s just to explain that she can’t get the company to budge. (And ideally, at that point she’d also talk with you about other ways to keep you satisfied in your job, if money isn’t at her disposal.)

The way she’s handling this is really poor: While she might not be able to avoid telling you that you’re not likely to get a significant raise outside of the company’s normal salary evaluation procedures, she’s exacerbated that blow unnecessarily by also signaling to you that she doesn’t think the matter is worthy of a real discussion — which for many people will make it a much bigger blow.

(And if she actually is planning to push for you to get a significant, higher-than-usual raise when merit raises are discussed, then she should be telling you that, not leaving you to feel blown off.)

As for how to proceed, I think you need to decide how much of a deal-breaker your current salary is to you. It sounds like you were happy with your job and your salary until you got approached about two higher-paying jobs. (And keep in mind that you weren’t actually offered those jobs, as far as I can tell — you were invited to apply for them.  That’s different; people get recruited for jobs all the time they that don’t ultimately get, especially in this market — so remember that those are jobs that you haven’t been offered and don’t know much about versus a job that you actually hold and know you enjoy.) So how much of a stand are you willing to take on salary? Are you willing to walk away over it? Salary negotiations often do come down to who’s most willing to walk away — meaning how willing you are to take another job and how willing your employer is to lose you over money. You want to know how strongly you feel about this and what you’re willing to do if you don’t get a resolution you’re happy with.

Once you’re clear about where you stand, you can certainly talk to your manager again. Say something along the lines of: “When we talked about my salary in November, you agreed that I should have been brought in at a higher salary and said you’d try to get me a one-time increase to bring me up to market rates, separate from regular merit raises. I’d like to talk about where that stands.” If she blows you off again, say, “I’m confused. This seems very different than what you and I discussed in November. I understand that things change, but can you help me understand why this conversation has such a different tenor than previously?”

Ultimately, if she’s not willing to go to bat for you — or if she doesn’t accomplish anything by doing that — then you need to decide if you’re willing to live with that, or if you want to pursue other jobs. But I really wouldn’t bring those other jobs up with her again as leverage — first, because the subtext to any salary negotiation is “I might look elsewhere if we don’t come to terms on this” and so you don’t need to say it out loud, and second, because if you do say it out loud, you risk the response (spoken or unspoken) being, “Well, go pursue them.”

Make your case for a raise, see what happens, and then decide if you’re willing to live with the outcome or not.

Read an update to this letter here.

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someone sent a dirty email from my work account — but it wasn’t me!

by Alison Green on January 3, 2013

A reader writes:

This is so embarrassing! I use my personal smart phone for many things, including work email. Work is ok with this and in fact proves a little extra on my pay to cover some of the cost.

I struck up a conversation with one of the regulars at a local pub over my phone. He asked if he could check email because he was waiting for an important message. Since I’ve seen him there a number of times, I logged him in on his gmail account and handed him the phone.

A few days later, I noticed an odd message in my “sent” files on my work email. Turns out, his “important messages” consisted of answering a personal ad on Craigslist. It was graphic…he did not leave much to the imagination. Apparently, when he answered the ad from my phone, it used the phone’s default email (my work account) instead of his.

I am shocked…and terrified….that it might’ve been flagged by a filter that I’m sure IT surely has. Don’t they all…good sized privately held company.) To make matters worse, we’re both men of about the same age.

I am caught between just going straight to HR and discussing this and just laying low in fear.

Ugh, this sucks, because there’s no good solution here. If you go to HR, it might turn it into a problem that they otherwise never would have noticed. But if you don’t go to HR, and it does get noticed, then do you look guiltier for never having mentioned it?

What about a different option — telling your manager, rather than HR? Your manager presumably knows you better than HR does, knows that you’re credible (hopefully), and will know you well enough to tell by your demeanor when you have this conversation that you’re both mortified and telling the truth. You can simply say that you were horrified when you realized what happened, that you didn’t know if you should tell anyone in case it was noticed, that you want to go on record as telling him about it in case it comes up later, and that you will never loan your phone out to strangers again.

Honestly, that will probably take care of it. Your manager is unlikely to think that you sent the message yourself and then called more attention to it by concocting this story. (And if she does think that, please be openly indignant — since that is in fact what an innocent person would do.)

It will probably be absolutely fine. It could potentially even end up being funny, depending on what your manager is like.

Meanwhile, what the hell is up with this dude in the bar feeling that it was urgent to send graphic responses to Craigslist ads? And how will you handle it the next time you run into him? I’d really like to hear that story.

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when a coworker won’t say no

by Alison Green on January 3, 2013

A reader writes:

My manager quit earlier this year, leaving me to run the marketing department with a woman we’d just hired.

I wasn’t in favor of the hire because I was concerned that she lacks professional maturity, but now she’s my co-director and we’re making do.  They’re not replacing my manager, and there’s been no conversation about how our roles have changed or what our strategic direction forward looks like—we’re just barging ahead.  My problem is this:  She’s hardworking, cheerful, and bright—and absolutely incapable of saying “no” to any request.  Whether it’s another director, a member of the senior team, or even (not making this up) a janitor with another “great idea” for improving the web site, she’s on board and happy to make it happen.  Web cams on the roof?  Sure!  Amateur photo contest?  Why not!  Some of the projects have been great, but most just clutter up the site and create huge amounts of work for me, because she doesn’t think about how her “happy to do it” attitude drags me into hours of editing work for unproven ideas that sound like fun and then backfire in big ways.  Our more boring, but important, work falls by the wayside, and our numbers are suffering because she won’t focus on fundamentals.

We now report to someone off-site, and he’s as hands-off as can be.  How can I work with her to make her understand that we need to make decisions as a team, and that her decisions set precedents for expectations we can’t undo?

You can read my answer to this question over at the Intuit QuickBase blog today.

Plus, three other careers experts are answering this question there today too. Head on over there for answers…

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wee answer Wednesday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

by Alison Green on January 2, 2013

It’s wee answer Wednesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Coworker’s husband is doing our schedule

My boss gave a coworker the task of scheduling my coworkers because he felt she was more qualified for the task. I just found out that she has her husband doing the scheduling. I have two questions for you: First, should I tell my boss that her husband is doing the scheduling, not her? Second, could this be a privacy issue?

I don’t see a privacy issue here in a legal sense, but I’d tell the manager that her husband is doing the schedule because that’s so incredibly bizarre that your manager would almost surely want to know about it. (However, that assumes that you really know this is the case. Has she told you that herself, and if not, how did you find out? I’d want to be confident about that first, or at least be able to explain to your manager why you think it’s the case.)

2. Is it essential to include an address on your resume?

Do you think that it is imperative that I include my address on my resume? To be honest, I’ve been a bit of a nomad for the past 6 years or so, due to having various commitments that were up to two hours away in either direction from the central location of my childhood. Basically, I have several friends who I stay with most of the time up and down the coast (in Australia) but I wouldn’t feel comfortable listing any of their addresses as my own. If I were to land a job, I would definitely would settle down and have my own place in that area (and not consider it relocating). I can list my parent’s address but it is not at all in the area that I’m looking for work, and I feel like it may hinder my job prospects by listing it. I have read that not including your address makes it look like your hiding something (which maybe I am, although I would be willing to explain my situation in an interview).

It’s not essential, but hiring managers do sometimes wonder why it’s not on a resume, and suspect that you’re not local, etc. No good hiring manager is going to pass up a great candidate over it though.  However, be prepared to be asked in phone interviews if you’re local, and if you’re not, to encounter the same difficulties that non-local candidates often encounter.

3. References when your most recent manager isn’t responsive

I have a question about how to put together a strong list of references based off my resume. I am currently looking for a new job after having been with my current organization for 2.5 years. Prior to that I was in graduate school (2 years) and prior to that I had 2 jobs, the first as a full-time research assistant for 2 years, and prior to that another job at the same hospital, somewhat less related to what I want to do now. I have one of those bosses/work environments where talking about looking for a new job and asking for a reference is impossible.

My boss from my time as a research assistant does not answer any attempts that I have made to contact him. He gave me a reference in the two years after I left, but nothing in response to any attempts since then. I do still have a good relationship with a reference from the job I had prior, which at this point is six and a half years ago.

In my current position, I work on a number of project grants and proposals with people outside my organization and who I trust and who I could ask to serve as a reference. However, none of these people can speak to me day in and out in an office, so I question how valuable it is to have all of my references be “outside the office” professional relationships, even if they’re current. Prior to my job and while as a student, I did have a three-month internship and my supervisor at that internship is happy to provide a reference for me — but I don’t know how strong the value of that reference is. Basically, when you are in a situation where “recent former boss” is not really possible, what are the strongest types of replacement references that I can provide?

I’d do all that you can to track down the most recent former boss. Is it possible that he’s changed jobs or moved or otherwise has different contact info? I’d check LinkedIn, Google him, and check with your former workplace to see if anyone has clues that can help you locate him. But if that fails — or if he’s in the same place, just not responding to you — then I’d explain the situation to reference-checkers and offer everyone else who you can: the internship supervisor, the reference from the much older job, and a couple of people who you work on projects with in your current job (pick the two who will give you the most glowing references). Employers understand this kind of thing happens. They might want to make you an eventual offer contingent on being allowed to talk to your current manager at that point, but this should at least get you up to that point.

4. I think I’m about to be fired — should I resign?

I think I will be fired/let go soon(!): My hours were changed and then cut; a new person was hired to take on some of the responsibilities I was supposed to have; and I am micromanaged on some things (commonsense, routine stuff) but expected to already be proficient with areas of responsibility for which I indicated I needed training.

I’ve begun looking for another job. When applying, do I even need to mention this job? I have another part-time, contract job and freelance work, so there’s no gap in my employment history. Or, because I’ve been at this new job for such a short time, I wonder if it would be better to resign (instead of waiting to be let go). The less time I stay there, the less I need to mention it in my job history, right? Or, wrong? And, I wouldn’t have to say I was fired on applications that ask for everything. I want to resolve this situation as professionally as possible, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I’d leave it off your resume entirely, especially since you won’t have a gap, thanks to the contract work and freelancing. As for whether to resign so that you won’t have to answer “yes” to future questions about whether you’ve ever been fired, it’s unlikely to come out that you were fired from a job that’s not on your resume unless you’re undergoing a check for a security clearance or something like that in the future, so do what you will with that piece of information. One option, though, would be to take the steps described in this very old column I wrote for U.S. News column in 2008 — which basically recommends an honest conversation with your manager about what’s going on.

5. Explaining why I’m leaving a dysfunctional job after four months

I am a supervisor at a nonprofit agency. i began this job only four months ago; my last job had staff layoffs due to finances, and my position was dissolved. I have never been so miserable in my life. I inherited a staff that the the director describes as “dysfunctional and unprofessional.” She herself is intimidated by them and does nothing about the situation. They are disrespectful, temper tantrums have taken place both in my office and in our weekly staff meetings, and some downright refuse to do as I direct them to do. This is the first time in my 13 years of my career that I HATE my job.

I am therefore actively interviewing. My resume shows that I do not hop around, spending four years at one clinic, three years at another before they had their layoffs, and two years at my most recent previous job, before their layoffs. How do I explain on an interview why I am looking to leave this job after only four months?

You might consider leaving it off entirely, but if you decide to include it, you could certainly explain that you inherited an extremely dysfunctional staff and that you haven’t been given the authority to manage the situation — such as setting and consequences for the performance and behavior problems — and that you feel you can’t effectively perform the role you were hired for in that environment. (You need to say this with no rancor or negativity, of course.) The right employers will see this as plus, not a minus.

(Also, are you sure that you’re not allowed to take action to deal with the staff? I’m assuming it in the answer above, but if that’s not the case, then holy crap, I’d swing into action on that immediately and see if that salvages the situation.)

6. How can I help my daughter fix this mistake?

I am trying to help my daughter overcome a huge error in judgment. She quit her job a year ago, which I believe was emotionally driven and resulted in her choosing poorly. She was a nationaly certified medical assistant and hasn’t been able to get interviews, which I know is the result of the prior employment check prospective employers are making. During a recent appointment I had at the office she worked at, the doctor asked me how my daughter was doing and I explained the difficulties she was having. He stated he wished he could hire her back because she was the best employee he ever had, but that he is not able to rehire because of the company policy. He stated that the company is indicating they would not rehire her and that of course is the death knell.

I know that she has learned from this mistake and that she is quite prepared to explain how and what she has learned from the poor choice she made, but she can’t get to the interview step. Besides going back to school in another medical branch and “start over,” do you have any suggestions on what she might work toward to change the situation?

Hmmm. I wouldn’t assume that the reason she’s not getting interviews is because of her record at her old job. Most employers don’t check references until much later in the process, after interviews. If she’s not getting interviews, the problem is much more likely to be her resume and cover letter. I’d start there, unless she has evidence that indeed these employers are all doing pre-interview reference checks (which would be unusual for one, let alone all of them).

7. How should I use LinkedIn in this situation?

I graduated from college this past May. Before I left, I had taken a seminar on transitioning into the “real world,” which emphasized the importance of LinkedIn. Now seven months later and still unemployed, I really don’t see the value in LinkedIn. I have done everything that they claimed would help me get hired (updating often, making connections, etc.) and it just hasn’t seemed to live up to the hype. (I should note I have not been job searching only on LinkedIn, I have been using it as a supplement.)

Last week, I applied to a position, and the next evening, the hiring manager had added me on LinkedIn. I haven’t made any contact besides accepting his request (which was the generic “I would like to add you to my professional network”) and he has not contacted me further regarding the position. I haven’t worried too much, especially as this was a holiday period, but I’m wondering, should I contact him again (perhaps message him through LinkedIn?) and if so, what do I say? If not, should I just wait and hope he eventually follows up to my application?

If he’d just looked at your profile and not connected, I would tell you not to do anything — that the ball is still in his court to contact you. But he connected with you, and that’s arguably opening the door to further contact. Send him a message through LinkedIn and tell him that you appreciated him connecting, that you recently applied for the XYZ position with him, and that you’d love to talk if he thinks you might be a good fit.

About the value of LinkedIn in general, in my experience it’s best for finding connections in your network to jobs that interest you. For instance, if you’re applying for a job with company X, you might discover on LinkedIn that your former coworker’s friend works there and can reach out to see if she’s wiling to give you the inside scoop — something you’d probably never know without the site. But it’s not so helpful in terms of jobs just coming to you, especially if you’re right out of school and don’t have a desirable job history that would attract recruiters.

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