Ask a Manager

It’s tiny answer Tuesday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Resigning when you have an abusive boss

Any tips for resigning when the boss you’re resigning for is abusive? This person has physically pushed me as well as screamed, hit desks, and sworn at and around me. I have stayed in the job for the experience and because I needed the money. I am leaving for a better job with a significant pay increase and that will allow me to develop the skills I want to develop, but I’ve put up with the abuse for a long time out of fear of not finding anything better.

My question is twofold: (1) how to resign tactfully and keep her from an explosion, and (2) how (and if) to let her boss know about the abuse so as to hopefully prevent it from happening to the next person in my role.

The advice in this post a couple of years back — to someone whose boss became abusive when she gave notice — should help here too. And yes, you should talk to her boss about what’s been going on, since it’s so beyond the realm of mundane bad management. (Physically pushed you? Make sure you mention that.) You can do this by asking to meet with her, and then simply letting her know that you feel obligated to alert her to what’s been going on in your department. Keep in mind that your mission isn’t to convince her or to exact promises for any particular action — you’re simply there to deliver the facts to her; if she seems uninterested, go on your way and happily leave this place in your past.

2. Business contacts who send unwelcome texts

One of the teachers from my daughter’s day care occasionally texts me. I believe he got my number from the emergency contact sheet. He does not text me often, and is usually somewhat work-related, such as reminding me about paperwork, or asking if my daughter will be in the next day if she has been out sick. However, he once texted me Happy Thanksgiving, another time he texted me to ask if my son would like some toys, and recently he text me over the weekend to ask how we were doing. The other day he asked me to tell my daughter he missed her. I wasn’t comfortable with the texting in the first place, but tried to look at it in a positive way, like an easier way to communicate with my child’s teacher. I did consider the possibility that he may be interested in me, and maybe this is his way of trying to get closer to me. He also friend requested me on facebook. However, now I am growing more uncomfortable with it, especially when he says he misses my daughter. Even if he loves his job and enjoys having her in the classroom, I don’t think it is appropriate for him to “miss” her.

I usually don’t respond to the texts, but I have responded to a couple. From now on, I have decided to not respond at all. However, I am wondering if you think I should speak with him about not texting anymore, or if I should talk to the child care director about it? Or should I not talk to anyone and just wait for it to stop?

I would (a) tell him directly that you prefer a phone call or email when he needs to reach you and to please not text you anymore, (b) only respond to messages that are truly necessary, and (c) talk to the child care director. You don’t need to accuse him of anything; just relay the facts, tell her that it made you uncomfortable, and take the stance of “I’m not sure if this is an issue, but if it is inappropriate, I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

(And I know that this letter isn’t really work-related, but I found it too interesting not to answer, so I’ve framed it as “business contacts” in the title so that maybe I can get away with it.)

3. Applying to a job when the salary range is too low

I came across a job recently that I think could be a great fit for me, and I’d like to apply. But the hiring salary range that the organization lists for this position is pretty significantly below what I’d like to be making (about 20-25% below). Should I apply for this job anyway, thinking that I may be able to negotiate up if they decide to pursue me as a candidate? Or should I pass up this position if I probably wouldn’t accept a salary in their posted hiring range, even though the job sounds great?

Pass it up, unless you’re willing to address the salary issue up-front (either in your cover letter or when you’re called for an interview — before you accept it, since you shouldn’t waste their time if it’s a no-go). The reason you have to be up-front about it is that (a) they’re operating in good faith by sharing their range up-front (something job seekers generally complain that more employers won’t do) and (b) you’d probably be quite frustrated if you told a company what you were looking to make and they let you go through a lengthy interview process, only to tell you at the end that they wouldn’t possibly pay you more than 75% of that range. So address it up-front, or pass it up. (It’s worth noting, though, that if the salary range is market rate for the work, they’re unlikely to budge.)

4. Staffing firm won’t tell me where they’re sending my resume

I applied for a position that was being hired for through a staffing firm. The staffing manager contacted me via email to ask additional questions about my skills set and seemed genuinely interested in me. I politely, at the conclusion of the email exchange, told her that I did not want my resume passed on to this “unknown firm” until she first briefed me on who the hiring firm was. I explained there are some firms in that particular field that I was not interested in working for, and would not be comfortable with them having my resume. The staffing manager immediately became defensive, told me I obviously didn’t really want a job, and that she didn’t have the time to call me and get my “approval” on where to send to submit my resume. Needless to say, I guess I won’t be working with this agency in the future. Question: who was in the wrong here?

It’s not uncommon for staffing firms to work that way, but it’s certainly your prerogative to say that you’re not interested in entering into that kind of arrangement … and it’s also their prerogative to tell you that it’s the only way they can work with you. So both of your fundamental stances were fine, but she erred when she became hostile to you.

5. Sending a emailed thank-you and a postal mail thank-you

I recently interviewed for an assistant position this past Friday for a big media company. From job searching for so long, I’ve developed the habit of sending a handwritten thank you note AND a thank you email after each interviewing. I usually keep the handwritten note short and sweet, and go more into detail about my experience in the email. Is this too much to send? I just want to have all bases covered and make sure I’ve done everything I can possibly do to make a good impression.

Also, when I interview, I usually send the thank you email the morning after (but still within 24 hours) so it shows that I have gone home and truly digested everything that was discussed. However, I was wondering if it would make more sense to send it Monday morning if I interviewed on Friday, since Saturday and Sunday are not business days?

Yes, it’s too much. Send one or the other, but not both. It doesn’t matter that they’re arriving by separate modes of communication; you’re still sending two thank-you notes, and that’s odd.

As for timing, you can send it any day you want, even weekends; they don’t care one bit what day of the week you send it.

6. Cover letters when you know the hiring committee

I was hired for a year-long contract position, and the position has now been reposted due to organizational requirements. I am finding it a bit tricky to write the cover letter because I worked so closely with the hiring committee. It feels strange to write to them about things they already know in a tone that is more formal than how I speak to them on a daily basis. Do you have any suggestions?

Don’t use a tone more formal than how you speak to them on a daily basis. Write it in the same conversational tone you’d use with them if you were sending them an email on anything work-related, as a coworker, not a stranger. Frankly, that’s more of the tone that you want with any cover letter, not just the ones where you know the recipients.

7. How to motivate people in boring positions

I would like to hear your opinion on how to motivate and challenge employees who are in non-challenging positions. I am in a management position, and on our company’s Employer of Choice council, and this is the problem we are trying to solve.

Many of our hourly employees do tasks like process orders for supplies or issue tools from a tool room. Since these employees are contracted to a customer, they have to work solely within their job description so there is not much opportunity for them to learn new skills or cross train. Most people in these type of positions would probably consider it entry level and would be looking for other employment to challenge themselves to advance their career. However, these are very well paid positions (government contract) so we have long term unhappy employees!

The key is to create the conditions in which good people will feel motivated — by giving them feedback, helping them see how their work contributes to a larger whole, giving them the resources they need to do their jobs well, showing that you care about them as people, etc. — and to not de-motivate them by treating them poorly, giving them ever-moving goalposts, neglecting to deal with performance problems, or otherwise being a frustrating and difficult manager. You should also be up-front with people before you hire them about exactly what these jobs are like: Be very clear that the work is rote and there’s not much opportunity to learn or advance. Believe it or not, some people are just fine with that, and even prefer it — but you need to screen for them in the hiring process, and make sure you’re not bringing on people who will be frustrated by that.

Beyond that, though, I’m a big believer that if you have to engage in special behavior to motivate someone, you have the wrong person in the job. Taking someone who isn’t self-motivated and excited about a job and turning that person around is pretty hard, and generally not a good use of your energy.

It’s mini answer Monday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. How important is it to have a LinkedIn profile?

How important is it to have a LinkedIn profile? I’m open to new opportunities but not job searching. I have an online presence including a blog, articles I’ve written and articles written about me. I also have Facebook which I keep extremely professional. How important is it to keep an up-to-date LinkedIn profile? And if it’s important, any chance you can explain why?

It’s certainly not crucial, but it takes so little time and effort that I’d say it’s worth having one unless you have some specific reason why you don’t want to. It’s also an incredibly good way to keep track of former managers, coworkers, and others who you might want to be in contact with someday (for networking, references, or whatever). It’s like an electronic rolodex that you don’t need to do any work to maintain, and one that you might be glad to have when you’re trying to track down your boss from two jobs back. (And that goes both ways — your past coworkers might be grateful to have a way to contact you if they need something as well.)

2. Ethical concerns about legal work

I am a legal assistant; most of our work is general business, real estate, and work for municipalities. I have worked at the same office for 24 years. Lately my boss has started doing trusts for firearms. The single purpose of these trusts is to make it much easier for people to own certain restricted firearms/accessories, such as true machine guns and silencers. We have no idea who these people are or what they plan to do with these weapons. They are just people who have heard through the grapevine that my boss drafts these documents.

I have an issue with the fact that essentially I am helping people obtain these items. My boss knows my views, but it’s quick, easy money for him. Do I really have to continue doing this, or can I suggest to him that he do it himself? The bulk of the document is a form that never changes; the work primarily consists of plugging in names. I suspect I already know the answer: Shut your mouth and do what you’re paid to do. But then if one of these people commits a crime with a weapon that I had a part in helping them obtain, how do I live with myself?

You can certainly tell your boss that you’re uncomfortable working on these trusts and ask if there’s a way to recuse yourself from them. Your boss may be willing to accommodate you on that. Or, alternately, he might tell you that this is part of the job, at which point you’d need to decide whether you want the job under those terms or not.

It might also be worth your learning more about these restricted firearms and accessories and how they’re typically used, so that you can figure out whether you want to try to convince your boss to stop being involved in this business himself. (And you decide that you should, you’ll be more effective at this if you educate yourself about it first.)

The answer is not just “shut your mouth and do what you’re paid to do” though. All of us have an obligation to think through the impact of our actions on others and make a good faith effort not to contribute to suffering in the world, so the place to start is by learning more about exactly what this work is facilitating.

3. When to tell prospective employers about my class schedule

I’m in graduate school, and twice a week I have to be at class at 4:45, which means that I always have to leave work early on those days. What is a good time in the hiring process to bring this up? Do you think this will be a deal-breaker for me? I can stay late/come in early to make up the time and work, but I don’t want to seem like I’m going to be high maintenance to prospective employers by asking to leave early twice a week for the next year.

Whether it’s going to be a deal-breaker will depend on the job and the office. In most, it’ll probably be fine, but there are certainly some where it might be an issue. You won’t know until you raise it, but because it’s a fairly minor thing, it’s fine to wait to raise it until you have an offer. (Do raise it then though — don’t wait until you’ve started a new job, or you’ll likely rub your new boss the wrong way for not having raised it earlier.)

4. Resigning at a bad time for your current employer

I am in the final stage of interviews for a new position, and if all goes well, I may be receiving an offer within the next week. My question is about the timing of my notice relative to what’s going on within my department. A colleague in my department (six people total in a 100-person organization) just gave notice that she’ll be leaving because her spouse is getting a promotion, and they’re moving out of the country. She’s leaving at the end of January. So within one month, my team would lose one-third of its staff. January is a hectic month for my department. I like my colleagues/supervisor and hope to leave on good terms. Am I a jerk for leaving during this time? Or is this just a matter of bad timing? If this is a jerk-like thing to do, what’s a more reasonable option for leaving?

Something to consider in this situation is that there is consistent transition within the department every one to two years, which I think is attributed to some management issues in the organization overall. I have been with the organization for one year, and my colleague who is leaving has been there for six months. I decided to move on because of the management issues, and this new position/org is a better fit for me (career path, org culture, mission, size).

No, you’re not a jerk for giving notice now. You can’t plan when to take a new job based on when your colleagues are resigning — and might not be able to even if you wanted to; after all, most new employers aren’t willing to wait months for you to start, and you certainly shouldn’t turn down an offer you want just because it’ll leave your department short-staffed. In fact, in many jobs, there’s never a good time to leave. But the department and organization find a way to go on anyway — believe me. No matter how bad the timing, they’ll find a way to make do and will be fine. (Nor will you look like a jerk for leaving now, not if your manager is even remotely sane. She might be frustrated with the timing, but that should be frustration at the timing, not at you personally.)

Give as much notice as you can, leave your work in good order, and provide thorough documentation for your replacement. That’s all you can do, and all that should be expected of you.

5. Leaving a job working for a semi-father figure

I have been working at my current job for about 5 years. It just so happens that my best friend’s dad is my boss. I originally started this job with plans of buying the business when he retired. Well, life happens, and I am now married, with a 3-month-old baby. I have received one raise in the five years, and I have been working a part-time job for the entire time that I have been employed at my full-time job. I have received another offer, paying what I make at both jobs combined plus benefits. Sounds like a no-brainer. right? Well, I came clean to my boss, and he is now offering me a raise, plus benefits, plus some type of commission.

There are only three of us who work at the office, and I feel like everything will fall apart if I leave since I do a majority of the work. This man has been like a father to me and helped me through situations over the years, and I feel guilty for leaving. I know I should leave and do better for my family, but I am having second thoughts. The new job is from our competition, and I feel like a traitor. But if I was such a great employee, why did he wait until I had another offer to try to keep me? Emotionally, I am a wreck not knowing what to ultimately do. Any advice?

This is one reason why it’s a really good idea not to work work and family — or in this case, work and friendships. It puts too many factors in play that shouldn’t be there.

In any case, you need to make the best decision for your career and your family. I can’t decide that for you, but I can tell you that there’s nothing wrong with moving on from a job. It’s normal, and people do it all the time. The businesses they leave survive just fine, no matter how much angst and drama there is when they decide to leave. (And if they don’t survive just fine, there was a structural issue there to begin with; businesses should be able to survive the departure of one person. After all, if you were hit by a bus tomorrow, they’d need to find a way to survive, right?)

6. Rehiring laid-off workers

Do companies ever re-hire former employees who were laid off? (I was well-liked and even brought in new business.)

Yes. You can certainly talk to your contacts there and reapply if there are openings.

Layoffs are different from firings. Firings are for cause. Layoffs are (generally) for financial reasons, so a layoff shouldn’t prevent you from rehire at a later date.

7. Listing a more senior title on your resume, when it hasn’t taken effect yet

I was recently promoted (yay!), with my new role to start January 1. At our company, promotions go to high performers primarily as a retention tool and acknowledgement of increased responsibilities that the employee has taken on over the years. There is often not a significant difference in responsibilities when the promotion happens — just a salary bump and more prestigious title.

I’d have been at my company for 6+ years and have been job searching for some time. How do I list this promotion on my resume in the immediate future? Can I list it before it officially starts? Do I not even bother, because I won’t have any noticeable achievements in my “new” role for some time?

I’m not generally a big fan of listing roles you haven’t taken on yet. The new title might be a recognition of what you’ve done so far, but it’s not actually your title right now so I’d wait until it really is, which is just a couple of weeks away. (Now, is it likely to cause you problems if you list it early? Probably not — by the time any reference checker was verifying it, it would probably be past the date it kicked in anyway. But I still think you don’t list it until it’s really yours.)

It’s short answer Sunday — six short answers to six short questions. Here we go…

1. Processing trauma, while you’re at work

I work for an education company, and many of our customers are elementary schools. Subsequently, all of us here are shocked and deeply troubled by the recent shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary. I’m sure many others working today, even those not in education, feel similarly. What advice do you have for dealing with mass trauma like this in the workplace? I feel like if there’s any time to break the “no crying at work” rule, it’s today. How can I best stay focused on my work? How can I help my reports stay focused as well? How should I manage the political discussions that have already emerged?

I wish I had a good answer to this — I’m not sure there is one. I’m a big believer in letting people know they can leave early if they can’t focus, if at all possible. And it’s also helpful to simply remember that we’re all humans processing this stuff, and proceed accordingly; i.e., it’s not a day to expect people to be unaffected. I know this is a terribly inadequate answer, and I’d welcome better ones in the comments.

2. What to say when you resign after two months

Back in the middle of September, I was recruited by the company that I now work for. After thinking the offer over and discussing it with my professional mentor, I accepted the position. It seemed like exactly the type of company I wanted to work for, doing exactly what I wanted to be doing. Upon arriving and working here for a little while, I started to realize that things weren’t as the higher ups led me to believe when I interviewed…in fact they were much much worse. They promised me a lot in regards to what I would be doing and the culture I’d be working in and way under-delivered. Then a few weeks ago, I got word of some unethical practices that the company has and I decided it was time to bail.

I’ve been interviewing heavily for the past 2 weeks and finally received a really fantastic offer from a great company. It’s way above my salary requirements and working in the exact environment that I want to be working in (everything I thought I’d be in where I am now), so I’ve decided to accept the offer. Now that its time to write my resignation letter, I don’t want to burn any bridges but I do want to let them know why I’m leaving so that they can hopefully improve things for those that are still here if they choose to. How do you write such a letter? Or is it just implied that if you leave after 2-1/2 months you’re going to burn the bridge no matter what?

Well, first of all, don’t do any of that in a resignation letter. Resign face-to-face in a meeting with your boss, and simply let her know that the job wasn’t what you had thought it would be when you were interviewing for it. If you hadn’t raised your concerns earlier and given her a chance to address them, be prepared for her to be pissed off that you didn’t do that. I would limit your explanation to that, though — I wouldn’t get into larger issues about the company to try to fix them; that’s not really your place as someone leaving after a couple of months, and it’s unlikely to have an impact. Certainly if you’re asked if there are additional reasons you’re leaving, you could consider more candor, but really, leaving because the job isn’t what you were told it would be is sufficient reason on its own.

You only need to supply a resignation letter if they request one, and if so, it should just contain a line explaining that you’re submitting your resignation, effective ___ (date). Don’t put complaints in the letter; that’s not generally done.

3. Asking about a job with a company you’re blogging for

In August, I contacted a company that I have admired and followed on social media for awhile. In an email, I explained what a fan I was, why I’d be a good fit, and that I would love to be considered should a job open up. By October, I still hadn’t heard from them, but by then I thought of an alternate way to connect with them. I contacted their general info email address rather than the jobs one and pitched a blog series. They emailed back and said they liked the idea, and since November I have written weekly blog posts for their company. I am not paid, but I am benefiting in other ways, including having my writing seen by a well-established and large readership. I am thrilled with this relationship and it has been all around positive.

Rewind: shortly before being approved for the blog, I was contacted by the CEO (from the jobs address) saying she apologized for taking so long to get back to me but that I seemed like I’d be a great fit for their team. She also said, “you never know what may happen in the next few months, so certainly feel free to follow up in a month or so to see where we are.”

The woman I’ve been sending my posts to has told me that the CEO likes my blog series, but I’m still not sure the CEO knows I’m the same person who asked her about employment back in August. Like I said, I am very appreciative of the opportunity and am happy with how it’s turning out. I’m just wondering if they consider my blogger role my “job,” or if I am within my rights to reach out to the CEO and ask about any paid positions. It has been over a month since she emailed me. Would that seem ungrateful or greedy?

The CEO specifically told you to feel free to follow up with her in a month, so you should; it won’t seem greedy or ungrateful! When you do, mention that you’ve been writing weekly blog posts for them and that involvement has made you more interested than ever in a full-time role with them. That’ll help her connect the dots if she hasn’t already on her own. Good luck!

4. My company’s goals and procedures change from day to day

I work for a company with fluctuating goals and procedures. The way you’re told to do something Monday may change by Tuesday, and so on. It’s “always been this way” and from my discussions with colleagues, I am far from the only person plagued by this. To compound this problem, I report directly to a senior VP with a very full plate. I realize this and do my best to a) be as autonomous as possible and b) be the main communication facilitator in our relationship. The problem is that I think there are things lost in translation between whoever needs something done and my boss before the project even reaches me. So, as much as I email with questions and confirmations like “to be clear, you’d like me to do x and the goal is to accomplish y and here are the steps I plan to take to get there, using this data,” etc. and receive affirmative responses, there have still been countless instances where things are not done to the expectations of someone involved, be it my boss or the project starter.

I began worrying that I appeared inept and to think I was a bad fit for my position, and started seeking feedback from more experienced colleagues. To my surprise, they reported feeling the same way about working with my boss and assured me my work is excellent. When I try reminding my boss of previous instructions to explain why I did something, he says I’m being defensive (which I probably am at this point) and any discussions I’ve tried to have about better communication are met with agreement, but then it doesn’t really change. I can’t think of a way to be even more communicative; I’ve recently started quietly skirting my boss to deal directly with the people who need the work done with some success, but that’s not always possible. I’m tired of explaining myself and trying to prod information from my boss. I am starting to think I need psychic powers to do my job effectively. Is there anything you would do/do differently in my shoes?

You could try one more thing: having a conversation about the big-picture problem with your boss and how it impacts the department’s work. Don’t make it about your job satisfaction (even though that’s obviously impacted); make it about the negative impact on the work, and not just your own. Come prepared for possible solutions … but also be prepared for the fact that nothing may change, even after this — especially if the problem is company-wide. At that point, though, you’ll have taken all reasonable steps to solve the problem, and then you can decide whether you want to (a) stick it out, accepting that this comes with the package, or (b) look for a different job somewhere else. Unfortunately, there aren’t really other options if this doesn’t work — you can’t make your boss change if he’s impervious to reason.

5. Unsure if I should tell a recruiter the job is my first choice or not

I’m going to be graduating this June with a technical degree and have been actively attending recruiting events at my school this year. Through these events, I made contact with a recruiter from a large well-known company that I didn’t think would be interested in me but it turns out they are. I’ve had several informal conversations with the recruiter and he has put me in contact with current employees to help me get a better feel for the company. He has very strongly hinted that he wants to bring me on the team but has resisted going into specifics about how the hiring process will progress.

The problem is, while I’m absolutely intrigued by the possibility of working for this company, I don’t know if it would actually be a good fit since it’s rather far from the field that most of my training is in. From conversations with the current employees that I was put in contact with, it doesn’t seem like this recruiter will offer a formal on-site interview unless I express that this is my top choice job. I’m not comfortable doing that since I don’t feel I can make an informed decision until after an on-site visit. Is there a way to express this honestly without ruining my chances to be offered this job? Should I tell him it’s my top choice to see if he offers a site visit, knowing that it might not be? If I do visit the site and it turns out the job isn’t a good fit for me, I’m not likely to pursue a career in this field so I’m not terribly worried about burning bridges but I don’t want to act in bad faith.

Just because a job might be your top choice at one point — or you say that it is — you’re in no way obligated to accept an offer if you receive one. You’re not committing to anything by expressing interest or accepting a site visit, so don’t worry about that at all. After all, part of the reason for visiting in person and continuing to interview is to determine if you want the job — it’s not just for them to decide if they want you. And no sane employer will consider you to have burned a bridge simply for turning down a job offer.

6. Should I go over my boss’s head?

I have been working for 8 months with my current employer. After 4 months, I arranged a meeting with HR to discuss that what I was doing was not what I thought I was employed for. Imagine employing me as a chef for a restaurant but instead I spend all day being the porter — not exactly motivating.

HR blew me off, saying that things will get better and that they are looking to hire someone else to do the “porter” position, but nothing happened. A month or so after, I went to the technical director (below the managing director) and I got deflected and told that I always knew what I signed up for, so I should live with it. But I am not doing anything that the job description says I would be doing. Where does this leave me when HR nor high-level management don’t listen?

Shall I go straight to the top — the managing director — and give my reasoning? I have proof of the work I have been doing, so is not like I will be making it up.

You’ve already talked to your manager and HR and nothing has changed. Unless you have reason to believe that the managing director operates totally differently than they do, you’re not likely to gain anything by going to her (other than pissing off your boss for going over her head).