terse answer Thanksgiving — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

by Alison Green on November 22, 2012

I hope you’re eating enormous amounts of mashed potatoes and stuffing today. Meanwhile, though, it’s terse answer Thanksgiving — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Explaining frequent doctor’s appointments

Recently I have been seeing a couple of doctors on a regular basis (two doctors, seeing each 2-3 times a month), which will continue for at least a few more months. I occasionally have to take a half-day off from work to go to an appointment (once or twice a month). I always work to schedule my appointments around what’s happening at work, so that I don’t miss anything. When I can, I squeeze one in on my lunch break or before work. My boss has been totally accommodating and hasn’t asked any questions thus far, but I feel like she’s starting to wonder why I, someone who appears to be (and is) healthy, am going to the doctor so much. Frankly, the appointments are for an issue that’s not life-threatening or serious, but they are for something personal that I don’t want to discuss with my boss.

If she does ask what’s up, do I just tell her that I’m fine, but I’d rather not discuss the reason for my frequent appointments? In our office, we’re not required to submit any sort of a doctor’s note or receipt to prove that we really had an appointment, but if I was asked to do so, the types of doctors I am seeing would reveal more information than I’d like to share at work.

If she asks what’s up, it’s fine to say, “It’s a medical issue that I’m hoping to have finished in the next few months.” You don’t need to provide further details than that. If she asks for more, simply say, “I’ll be fine, but it’s something I need to take care of.” (What’s most likely is that she’d simply be expressing concern, not that she’d be prying for details, although of course the pryers are out there too.)

Aside from that though, it might make sense to let her know roughly how long you expect the appointments to continue, simply so that she has that information and isn’t wondering if it’ll be happening forever. (Although she may not care, if you’re getting all your work done and she’s focused on results.) The next time you tell you’ll be out of the office for an appointment, why not add a note saying something like, “By the way, I expect these appointments to come to an end in February.”

2. Can I be sued for quitting without notice and taking clients with me?

I am a sales service rep. I don’t sell, but after 10 years I do have a client following. Because I am going to a competitor in the same exact business, I believe it was professionally right and ethical to resign without notice; I knowingly left my accrued vacation time on the table.

Can the company sue me for not giving notice? The company is concerned that some clients may follow me to my new employer that is their competitor. They asked me to reconsider; but I did not. Can they sue me if indeed some clients “follow” me to my new employer?

You resigned without notice because you thought it would be best for your company, but they disagree and want the notice?  Usually if a company doesn’t want you to work out a notice period because you’re going to a competitor, that’s a decision they make — not one you make for them against their will. The fact that you’re now worried they”ll sue you over something you ostensibly did for their benefit should be a signal to you that your thinking here is … off.

In any case, unless you have a contract that requires notice, they can’t sue you for leaving without notice. Similarly, unless you have an agreement about clients, they probably can’t sue you for that either, unless you were telling clients to come along with you while you were still employed there.

3. Letting a prospective out-of-town employer know that you’ll be in their area

Last week, I applied to a job in my hometown, but haven’t heard anything yet other than a standard “thanks for sending your resume” email (they are supposed to start reviewing applications today). I’ll be traveling there for the Thanksgiving holiday and can be flexible with a return schedule, as I’m driving and self-employed. Would it be too forward to reach out and let them know I’ll be in town and available for an interview? It’s an administrative position at a local community college, and they are notorious for moving slowly through the hiring process. However, the job posting states a preferred start date of Jan. 3, so it seems like they’ll be trying to make a decision between now and their Christmas break. It’s a great position and I’d love a chance to interview, just don’t want to seem too pushy.

It’s fine to let them know that you’ll be in the area during such-and-such dates and available to interview if they’re interested in meeting. Don’t be pushy about it, but do give them a heads-up.

4. Can I refuse work well outside my job description?

My advertised job description was for a webmaster (basically monitoring the companies websites and cataloguing inventory, etc.). I’ve been made to do sales calls and some light warehouse work for the company because they are short staffed. Which is fine during working hours because the job description specified that other duties may need to be performed. However, I have been asked to do overtime sales calls without pay (for days off in lieu of pay) . I just want to know whether I can refuse this on account of it not being in my job description?

While nearly every job includes work not specifically listed in the job description, what you’re being asked to do is so far outside what you were hired to do that it’s completely reasonable to raise it. However, a flat refusal generally doesn’t go over well. Instead, talk to your boss and express concern that the job you were hired for is significantly different than the job you’re doing, and say that while you’re glad to help out when it’s an emergency, you’re really not comfortable doing overtime sales calls (or whatever else you don’t want to do). If you’re told to suck it up and do it, then you know that this is now part of the job and you can decide whether you want to stick it out there under those terms or not.

5. Being asked to attend a week-long training before giving notice

My boyfriend’s (hopefully) new employer is asking him to take a week off his current job to go to a week-long orientation on the other side of the country. Then to come home, give his current employer his two-week notice, then start with them in two weeks. That just doesn’t sound right to me. Can they really ask him to start for a week, then wait to weeks to actually begin working? We can’t afford to miss two weeks of pay, and to top it all off… he works retail and during the holidays he is not allowed to take any time off.

Sure, they can ask him to do that, as long as they plan to pay him for the training week. However, it’s completely reasonable for him to reply that he’s not permitted to take time off during this time of year and so can’t attend the training until he’s actually started the new job. If they’re reasonable, they’ll understand that. If they don’t, that’s a big red flag.

6. Salary negotiations when you’ll have a long commute

I’m in the process of interviewing for my dream job. I love the company and culture, the position is a huge step up for me career-wise, and it would be a challenging and interesting position. The downside: it would take me two hours each way to commute via public transit. Four hours a day! I love my house too much to move and can’t afford a car based on the salary expectation I (stupidly) gave before doing the math.

If they offered me the job, I would take it. Not only would I love it, I was laid off this past summer and work in publishing—it’s not a pick-and-choose industry right now! Can you think of any ways that I could make the commute a bit easier for myself? Could I negotiate to work from home a few days a week? Could I renegotiate the salary I discussed with them, factoring in the costs of owning a car—or is it too late for that?

If they make you an offer, you can certainly say that you had mistakenly talked about salary without factoring in the costs of the commute and try to negotiate for a higher salary or some telecommuting. Keep in mind, though, that unless they really, really want you (and they might), they may feel that your commute isn’t their problem … but it’s entirely reasonable to ask, as long as you don’t imply otherwise.

7. Starting a career development blog

I’m about five years into my career and have had amazing mentors who have shared a lot of wisdom with me regarding career development and being successful in the corporate environment. I’ve also had the opportunity to work with varying levels of leadership, from executive down, which has given me a unique understanding of how organizations function. I’ve been thinking it might be helpful for others and rewarding for myself to start a blog to share some of this insight (and maybe stimulate discussion) with others early in their career.

The blog would be very approachable and positive. I don’t plan to write anything negative about coworkers or my company, but I would obviously prefer not to be fired over it. My question is this: as a blogger, what advice would you have for maintaining professionalism online?

It’s less about maintaining professionalism online, which I’m assuming you know how to do if you’ve been successful in your career so far, and more about making sure your employer is okay with what you’re doing. So start by talking to your manager and making sure you have her blessing. Some companies are perfectly fine with this type of thing and others aren’t, and you’re far better off finding out which you’re working for before you’ve started than after. (Maybe I’m misunderstanding what you’re asking though. If so, chime in in the comments and let me know what you’re looking for.)

One piece of unsolicited advice: Don’t pitch your blog as coming from someone with a “unique understanding of how organizations function.” Few people’s understanding of that is truly unique, and it’s especially unlikely five years into your career. (Hell, it’s unlikely 30 years into your career.) Recognizing that will make your blog stronger, not weaker.

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job rejections right before a holiday: okay or not okay?

by Alison Green on November 21, 2012

Whenever I need to send out rejection emails and it’s a day before a holiday — especially Thanksgiving or Christmas — I always wonder if it’s kinder to wait.

What’s your take? Would you rather get an answer right now, so that you’re not wondering and agonizing over the holiday break when you could have already found out? Or would you see a rejection right before you’re leaving for a holiday weekend as Scrooge-like, insensitive behavior? Or do you not care either way?

And does it make any difference if it’s a post-interview rejection versus just a post-application rejection?

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the top 10 holiday aggravations at work

by Alison Green on November 21, 2012

With holiday season upon us, it’s the time for workplace gift exchanges, holiday parties, and charity drives—and with them, accompanying aggravations. Here are the top 10 most aggravating elements of holidays in the office.

1. Company holiday parties that are mandatory to attend. Companies usually hold these events because they believe they build employee morale — but it’s important to take a look at whether they actually do. Some staffers truly don’t enjoy these sorts of functions, and that’s okay. Requiring their presence under the guise of giving them a treat will hurt morale, not build it. If the party is meant as a gift, you can’t turn it into an obligation, so don’t penalize people for not going, even just in your head.

2. Company parties that not everyone can attend. While not everyone will want to attend the company party, certainly anyone who wants to should be able to. Yet some companies still leave the receptionist covering the phone while everyone else goes to the party or require some employees “work” at the celebration (as caterers, coat checkers, etc.).

3. Charging employees to attend the company party. Asking employees to pay to attend a work event, even if it’s social in nature, is never appropriate. If the company can’t afford the party on its own, it shouldn’t be hosting such a lavish event.

4. Efforts at religious inclusion that end up offending. For instance, putting Hanukah ornaments on a Christmas tree or inviting all staff to participate in a religious prayer are good ways to inadvertently offend some employees.

5. Being pressured to participate in office gift exchanges. For every person who enjoys the ritual, there’s at least one more who resents the expectation, especially at a time of year when budgets are often already stretched thin. Many people resent being expected to give up their hard-earned cash in the place they go to earn money, not spend it. Even worse…

6. Being expected to chip in for an expensive gift for the boss. Even though etiquette says that gifts in the workplace should flow downward, not upward (if they’re given at all), many offices still expect workers to contribute to a present for the boss.

7. Receiving “gifts” from your employer that you can’t use. Whether it’s a bottle of wine when you don’t drink, a turkey when you’re a vegetarian, or a gift card to a store you never go to, most employees would rather have a bonus or an extra day off than a gesture that doesn’t actually reward them.

8. Being pressured to participate in workplace charity drives. Charity drives can be a great thing, but when employees are pressured to donate, they end up feeling resentful and not in the least charitable. Some offices even monitor who does and doesn’t participate, and directly order people to hand over cash if they haven’t yet contributed.

9. Having two classes of holiday celebration. Employees notice when companies buy expensive gifts for managers but hand lower-level employees coffee-shop gift cards. Even worse, some companies go so far as to have two separate holiday parties – a swanky celebration for higher-ups and a low-budget party for everyone else.

10. Extravagant office parties while the company is laying off staff. There’s no better way to demoralize employees than to eliminate staff (or lower this year’s bonuses or freeze salaries) and then blow thousands on a swanky affair.

I originally published this at U.S. News & World Report.

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how much effort is too much when job searching?

by Alison Green on November 21, 2012

A reader writes:

How much effort to connect directly is too much when applying to positions?

I am getting the impression from feedback that supply and demand means employers have to sift through many more applications than they have time to process in any depth. So personal contact / networking and briefer applications may have a better chance of getting through than more detailed applications capable of standing on their own, sent into HR email / online talent management systems’ black holes.

However, I have found results haphazard when doing things like finding/emailing the hiring manager, following up after a week or two, contacting people on LinkedIn to connect, etc. for positions where there is otherwise a strong fit to requirements — in other words, when the application could adequately express my merits.

What are your thoughts on acceptable methods / frequencies and deciding factors to back off or escalate? I have read mixed comments from employers in articles like yours — sustained efforts just annoy some managers, others find the tenacity a selling point.

The extras that you’re talking about make sense when you have connections to the employer, or your connections have connections there. In that case, it makes sense to reach out directly to the person you know there, or to have people you know with connections there reach out directly on your behalf.

But if there’s no personal connection, then you’re generally not going to do yourself much good (and in many cases will just annoy the hiring manager).

Notice that this is a good argument for building those connections before you want to apply for a job somewhere — because if you try to do it after you’ve applied, you will blend into the mass of people who are all trying the same ineffective tactics in order to get their applications noticed.

But assuming you don’t have connections to work with a particular job, then the way you stand out is by being a great candidate:  having a resume that shows a strong track record of getting results in the areas that they’re hiring for, writing a compelling cover letter that doesn’t simply regurgitate information they can find on your resume, and being professional, friendly, and responsive when they contact you.

Honestly, very few hiring managers value “tenacity” in the job application process. More often, “tenacity” reads as pushiness. And the hiring managers who do respond to it — and yes, there are some, although they’re in the minority — are precisely the managers you don’t want to work for: They’re the disorganized ones, the ones who don’t value hiring the right person enough to do their job without prompting from a  candidate, the ones who respond to gimmicks or flashiness over merit when you’re working for them. Guess what your quality of life is going to be like on that job? You really don’t want to screen for them by your behavior in your job search.

Job seekers need to get rid of this idea that they’re supposed to demonstrate “persistence” or “tenacity” in the job search. I know there are self-appointed “experts” out there telling you that, but the reality is that — unless you’re in sales* — that’s not what good employers are looking for.

It’s time to stick that idea in a time capsule and bury it deep in the ground … possibly along with the “experts” pushing that idea.

* Possibly not in sales either, as you’ll see in the comments.

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update from the reader whose coworkers were making fun of his masters degree

by Alison Green on November 21, 2012

Remember the reader back in January whose coworkers were making fun of his masters degree? Here’s an update from him:

Thank you for posting my question to you. I read the comments and I think my post was somewhat controversial and the comments were very divided. I did not mean to come off as bragging or narcissist or whatever. I believed that due to the economy more people would be able to relate to me. I thought other people would perhaps be in my situation: unhappy at a low level, dead-end job due to the poor job market.

I now have a different job with a different company, and I can see why my post was misunderstood. At my current job, I could never imagine any of coworkers acting like my past coworkers. I see how it could be hard to relate.

I think more background information was needed in my original post to you…

I was living in an area with extremely high unemployment. I had my master’s degree from a public university and about three years of relevant work experience in my relevant field. I was and still am somewhat young in my career. I was unable to relocate to find better employment options.

I was laid off from a job I truly loved that was in the field of my studies. I went a few months with no job, no leads, no interviews, and the outlook seemed very poor. I decided to begin to apply for whatever I could find. I took a job as a customer service rep for an industrial supply company. My father did construction for a while, and I worked with him over the summers while I was in school so I had relevant experience.

I did what I had to do to pay the bills. The job was taking calls from commercial customers, processing their orders, and delivering supplies. I had moved from an office suit-and-tie setting to a blue jean and chewing tobacco setting. Nothing wrong with that; I’ve worked with all types, but I never planned at staying the job very long because I wanted to pursue a career in the field I studied and was passionate about. I did not want to make friends at my job because I was looking for another job every night. I think my coworkers found out about my education and they thought I was being snooty when really I was just frustrated by the situation. My quietness was misunderstood and they thought I had something against them or something.

There was a lot of tension, a lot of “college boy,” “you think you are so smart,” etc. This was not playful teasing or joking; this was sincere anger or tension. This was just the culture there.

It wasn’t until one of the welders was out for about two weeks that I fit in. They were short on the welder staff in the shop. When I told them I could weld and helped out in the shop, I finally fit in and the comments stopped and tension went away. I have a lot of respect for my old coworkers. They all worked very hard and were good at what they did.

A few months later, I found a different job in an office setting in my field of choice. I think the world is a more divided place than people believe it to be. Just look back at the original comments on my post. Now I can’t imagine any of my coworkers making fun of my education or background so I can see why people thought I was just being a sensitive weenie. I think I just had a moment of frustration, so I appreciate the reality check.

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refusing more work unless you get a raise or promotion

by Alison Green on November 20, 2012

A reader writes:

Can and how do I professionally decline additional duties/ responsibilities unless I receive a pay raise or promotion?

Background: I’ve been in the same position for almost 4 years. I’ve been promised multiple pay raises (including to bring me up to industry standard), which have never happened “due to budgetary reasons,” so I am being paid a few cents more than the people who “report” to me though I do not have manager in my title.

In the last 7 months, our management team has dwindled from 4 people running 3 customer service departments and reporting to my boss to 2 (the trainer and the quality assurance person who weren’t supervising any departments), and the trainer has just put in his notice. My boss is already telling him to give me all of his tool access so I can do his job as well but has never spoken to me about it. I am overwhelmed and underpaid. I am not willing to take on this stress unless I receive a pay raise and promotion. How can I decline the additional responsibilities unless I receive a pay raise and promotion without being fired for insubordination?

Well, there are no guarantees that you can. But you can certainly try.

If you simply say, “No, pay me more or I won’t do that,” you’re likely to hear “Sorry, but this is part of the job now” … and the subtext will be “take it or leave it.”

But there’s a better way to go about this — not one that’s guaranteed to work, but one that’s certainly a reasonable and professional way to proceed.

Meet with your boss and say something like this: “I’m concerned about the increasing workload that I’m being asked to handle. Our management team has gone from four people to two, and is about to go to one, and I’m picking up most of that work that used to be handled by other people. My plate is more than full at this point, and it’s a real challenge to juggle everything I’m now responsible for. I can help out on a short-term basis, but this has been the case for months and looks like it will continue and maybe even get worse. It’s a significant amount of stress and responsibility. I’m willing to continue helping out, but I want to revisit my title and my compensation. It’s not feasible for me to continue on with this increased workload at my current level of pay — which is the same pay level I’ve been at for four years, even though I’ve been told I’d receive raises in the past, and then never have. What can we do to get my pay and title up to something that reflects the work I’m doing?”

And be prepared to be asked what salary you want, which means researching and thinking this through beforehand so that you don’t undercut yourself or ask for more than is reasonable.

From there, listen to what your boss says. If she agrees, then great, problem solved … although make sure that the raise really happens this time, by following up your conversation with an email summarizing your agreement and setting a date for the raise to be effective, and then raising it immediately if you don’t see the raise by the time you’re supposed to.

But if she hems and haws, say this: “I understand that you can’t decide this on the spot, but I’m serious about figuring out how to proceed fairly quickly, since this has been going on for a while now. Can I follow up with you in a week?”

If you’re told (either now or when you follow up in a week) that your requests aren’t possible and the work just has to be done, then there’s your answer. Your company is not going to give you a raise or a promotion, and they’re not going to change your workload.

At that point, you need to decide if you want the job as it’s being offered (this salary, this title, this workload) or if you’d rather look for work elsewhere. Meanwhile, though, as long as you stay, you probably do need to do the work you’re being assigned … or at least, you can’t flatly refuse it.

However — and this is important — you can and should say things like, “I can do X, Y, and Z in 40 hours a week” (or 45, or whatever the norm is in your industry, recognizing that in many fields it’s more than 40), “which means that A, B, and C will be on the back burner until I have time to get to them, which may not be for a while.” But that’s a matter of prioritizing your responsibilities — it’s different than saying, “No, I refuse to accept A, B, and C altogether.”

Meanwhile, while you do that, you can certainly be looking for another job … and once you find one, leave and explain why.

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how to reject a coworker who’s romantically interested in you

by Alison Green on November 20, 2012

A reader writes:

I am writing on the subject of office friendships/relationships. There are many friendships throughout my office. It is a very casual workplace. Many of my coworkers and I hang out socially. But being the only female on the job, I find I do receive a little more attention than I would like. There is a guy at the office who I feel has begun to encroach on my personal space. I have told him that I do not enjoy when people hover over my workspace, yet he continues to linger. I also drive him and another colleague home after work and he continuously asks to hang out, which is a nice gesture but I would rather do other things with my time, but there are only so many times I can be noncommittal. When I am unable to drive him home from work, he still walks me to my car. All very nice, but I am feeling smothered. I am getting the romantic vibe, yet I am not attracted to him.

It seems to me that he does not have too many friendships outside of our working circle. How do I let him down without having feelings hurt all the while avoiding awkwardness, and keeping my personal space?

This is your problem: “There are only so many times I can be noncommittal.”

When someone isn’t getting hints, you need to be direct, not noncommittal. This is especially true in cases where someone is romantically interested in you and you’re wondering why he hasn’t gotten the message — it’s because you haven’t told him. (And yes, sure, people should pick up on cues, but not everyone does. Clearly.)

The next time he asks you to hang out, you’re going to need to be more direct. If this weren’t an office where people hang out outside of work, you could simply say, “No, thank you. I like to keep work separate from my personal life.” But since he knows that you’re hanging out with people from work socially, that won’t work … so you’re left with having to be even more direct: “No, thank you. I’m not interested.” Say it nicely, but say it.

And yes, you may feel rude, but he’s not getting your lighter message, so you need to be more direct. Frankly, you could argue that this is kinder anyway, rather than letting him continue to try, but that’s not even the point; the point is that your non-committal answers haven’t conveyed what you thought they would convey, and so now you need to be clearer.

Additionally, when he offers to walk you to your car, say, “No, thank you, I’m fine.” If he insists, then you need to get firmer — “No. I’m fine.” And you say this in a serious tone — not smiling, not lightening your tone. People (especially women) often try to lighten their “no” because they feel rude. But if someone is showing you that he’s not hearing or respecting your no, then you need to be much more clear, and that means risking offending the person, because your right to assert your own boundaries needs to trump your desire to be nice.

And when he lingers at your desk and disengaging isn’t getting the point across, be direct: “Bob, I need to work. Please don’t stand there.”

Frankly, you also might need to stop driving him and your other coworker home after work, at least until you’ve re-built the boundary there.

Again, you are going to feel rude, most likely. But it’s also rude to allow this guy to be strung along without telling him directly that you’d like him to stop, and more importantly, you’re entitled to speak up when someone is making you uncomfortable.

Say no, and say it clearly.

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when a new employer wants you to leave your current job without notice

by Alison Green on November 19, 2012

A reader writes:

I am currently employed. I was working 30 hours a week, but in the last month my hours were reduced to 3 days a week (just 21 hours). I have maintained and updated my resume on several websites for the past year, and I get at least one to two calls a month for an interview. Over the last three months, I realized that four of the companies that contacted me directly wanted to know if I could start immediately. They did not want to interview me if I had to give notice. I thought this was very odd; these were not employment agencies but direct hires.

When I mentioned it to my last manager, with whom I still have a great relationship, she asked me the following two questions: Is the pay better and if there were benefits? My answer to both questions was yes. She then asked me what was the problem. I said, “Would you want to work for a company that does not want to give you the time to give notice to your current employer?” She replied, “Good point.”

Two weeks ago, I got a call from a well-established company that has been in business for over 30 years. I just had a phone interview with the customer service manager and her supervisor this past Thursday afternoon. I was asked how soon I could start, and I replied that I could start December 3, as I wanted to give my employer at least a week’s notice. They then informed me that if hired, I would need to start immediately (Monday, November 26). I did not want to turn down this opportunity for an in-person interview. Although I have been able to survive on 30 hours/week, the reduction has been a real strain. If I am going to change jobs I would like to work 40 hours a week.

As I said, this is a well-established company. My question is, are you aware of a trend in the customer service industry or in general where this is becoming the norm?

There have always been companies that do this, but they’re short-sighted and not the norm. It’s short-sighted because (a) for the vast majority of jobs, getting the right person is important enough that it’s worth waiting an extra week or two, and (b) hiring people willing to leave without notice is a bad idea, since it usually indicates something about their professionalism.

Now, that said, there certainly are times when a company legitimately needs someone to start faster — particularly for temporary or lower-level positions where getting the precisely right person even if it takes a bit longer isn’t as important as getting someone in the door faster. But if that’s the case, they should tell you that they understand and appreciate where you’re coming from but unfortunately they have a need to get someone in more quickly because ___, so the fit isn’t quite right this time.

What they shouldn’t do is pressure you to leave without notice and screw over your current employer — that shows a lack of respect for your reputation and integrity, and it will probably play out in additional ways if you take a job there. (But note that I can’t tell from your letter if they’re doing this to you or not. If they’re not, I have no beef with them. But they should probably be focusing on unemployed candidates who won’t have a notice issue.)

In any case, the best way to handle this is to say, “I’d need to give my manager two weeks notice. I don’t want to leave my job, or start a new one, on a less than professional footing.” If you’re told that you’d need to start sooner than that, respond, “I hope you can appreciate that I’m not able to shortchange my current employer on what I owe them and am committed to following through on my commitments there, which is a level of commitment that I’d show you as well.”

By the way, a side note about answering questions about when you could start work: Don’t give a specific date (like December 3, as in your example). The date you can start depends on the date you accept an offer. Instead, say that you can start two weeks (or whatever) from the time you receive and accept an offer. Otherwise you could find yourself receiving an offer only a few days before the date you said you could begin work, and that won’t allow you to give a sufficient notice period.

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should I approach my coworkers about a charity auction?

by Alison Green on November 19, 2012

A reader writes:

I know you have covered soliciting charity at work before, but I am on the other end of the posts you normally have.

Last year my mom organized a charity event to raise money for her friend’s son, who became paralyzed after a ski accident. The charity was to raise money for this family to cover medical costs. The event was a concert at a bar that had raffles and a silent auction.

I was thinking of inviting people from my office (about 30 total) to attend the event, via email. I don’t know if it’s bad to use employee email that way. But I definitely don’t want to do it in-person to each individual, because I feel like they would feel cornered, and I wouldn’t mind if they just deleted the invite email if they weren’t interested. I don’t want to pressure anyone, but I would love to invite people if I had this chance.

So that’s the first part. The second part of my query is my mom is always looking for silent auction giveaways. Her friends and coworkers were able to donate some amazing things last year, such as a weekend in their vacation home or a brand-new guitar, or other things depending on their connections. I know one person at my work is an investor in a wine store where our work regularly purchases wine for cocktail nights. I was thinking of emailing him as well to see if he could possibly have the owners donate a case of wine or something.

But, I am new to the workplace and don’t want to push boundaries. Our HR is located at our main offices in another state, nowhere near our branch. I never exactly got an employee manual. I feel like contacting HR at our main offices is a little too much for this, but maybe it’s necessary? I don’t know. Should I just forget the whole thing and solicit invitees elsewhere?

It’s probably going to turn out that it’s fine to email an invitation to the event to the people in your office, but because you’re new, I’d still check first. You don’t know what the norms there are and some offices do frown on this kind of thing. I don’t think you need to consult HR, but I’d ask someone in your office who has been there a while and who strikes you as having good judgment. Just say something like, “Hey, I was thinking of emailing this invitation to a charity event to everyone, but I didn’t know if people do that kind of thing here or not. Do you think it’s fine to do or is it a bad idea?”

But either way, don’t directly solicit people for the silent auction. If your contact encourages you to send the invitation to the event, you could include a line like “they’re also looking for silent auction giveaways,” but you shouldn’t solicit people individually because it’s too much pressure to make a direct ask. If you directly approach your coworker connected to the wine store, you’re putting him in an awkward position if he wants to say no. That’s never good to do, and it’s especially not good to do when you’re new, since people don’t know much about you yet and so every little thing weighs more heavily as they’re forming impressions of you.

After all, remember that your coworker is there to work, and its not fair to put him in a position where he now feels awkward around you because you inadvertently made him weird when he had to say no to your donation request. And not only is it not fair to him, but it’s not a smart move for you professionally either. (And sure, maybe that won’t be the result — maybe he’d be thrilled at the chance to donate — but you can’t know in advance, especially since as a new coworker you don’t know him well enough to judge with confidence … and ultimately the work relationship needs to take priority over the outside charity.)

I know it’s easy to think, “But this is so obviously a good cause, so how could anyone take offense?” And it’s great that you and your mother are working to help out this family friend. But it’s so easy for charitable solicitations in the workplace to cross the line from “here’s some helpful info about something that might interest you” to language or actions that make people feel pressured or cause discomfort or like an unwilling captive audience that it’s worth erring on the side of caution.

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mini answer Monday — 7 short answers to 7 short questions

by Alison Green on November 19, 2012

It’s mini answer Monday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Employee won’t drive in mildly bad weather conditions

I have an employee whose job largely consists of using our company vehicle to drive around the outlying areas to run programs or meet potential partners. She started in the spring and does a great job. However, now that winter is coming, it’s become apparent that she is overly nervous about driving in what she considers “poor” weather. I don’t mean a blizzard or icy conditions. She’s not comfortable driving if there’s a speck of snow or frost on the ground or in the air. I can see this becoming a problem because she can’t just shut down our services over the winter just because she’s scared to drive, nor do other staff have time to drive her around (which has happened on a couple recent occasions). On the other hand, I don’t want to force her to drive if she feels unsafe, and clearly our definitions of poor conditions/weather is different. How can I approach this with her?

Of course you don’t want to force her to drive if she feels unsafe, but the job consists largely of driving around. I’d address that head-on with her: “Jane, I’ve noticed that you don’t seem comfortable driving when it seems like it might snow. I certainly don’t want to put you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, but the majority of the job involves driving. What are your thoughts on how to handle this as winter approaches?” You should be explicit with her that the person in her role will need to drive unless ___ (it’s a blizzard / dangerously icy / whatever the case is), and ask if that’s something she feels she’ll be able to do.

I hate driving in bad weather too, but the reality is that she’s in a job that requires it, so she’s going to need to figure out whether it’s the right position for her or not.

2. When should I tell my current company that I’m interviewing?

I am in a job that I love. The people I work with and for are great, and work is something I am passionate about, I certainly wasn’t looking for more. However, a recruiter contacted me recently, and what she had to offer was too good to not follow up on. Now I have made it through 2/3 of the interview process for a position that would not only take me away from the company I am currently working for, it would force me to move across the country. It would also be a considerable promotion.

The last portion of the interview process is to meet with the potential new company in person. The company is flying me out there the first week in December. I need to take time off from my current job in order to accommodate the interview for the other, I have the time to take, but I work at a small company and I am not sure how to handle people asking me where I am going or why I am asking for the time off. I know I could just shrug it off and say that I am taking personal days, but here is the rub:

If I get an offer from the other company I would not want to have seemed dishonest in not explaining where I was that first week in December. If I do not get an offer from the company but explain that I am being flown out for an interview I am worried that my employer will be on edge thinking that I am looking to leave. My current job is asking for schedule commitments far into the future, I do not have a reason to say “no” right now, but the chance of me getting this other position is quite good. So , when is the right time to talk to a current employer about a possible new position? When there is an interview? When there is an offer?

Unless you have an unusual relationship with your manager, wait until you have a job offer. Hell, wait until you have a job offer that you’ve accepted. All too often, when employees divulge that they’re job searching, they end up being pushed out of good projects, not given bonuses or raises (which are seen as a retention strategy, and why bother if you’re leaving anyway), or even let go (whether it’s being first on a layoff list or outright fired). That’s not always the case, but you need to be positive that your manager and your company don’t operate that way before you risk it.

Yes, if you resign, it may be obvious that your trip was for an interview, but so be it. That’s how this stuff goes; it shouldn’t mean that you put yourself at risk unnecessarily. Most employers are aware that employees don’t announce when they’re job-searching.

3. Showing increasing responsibilities on your resume

How do I show how my responsibilities increased within the same position on my resume? For example, in my first year as communications coordinator, I redesigned our annual report, adding additional graphics and making it more reader-friendly, but my predecessor did all the writing. The second year, I edited the program overview, written by someone else, and drafted the financial information. The third year I drafted the whole annual report (although it was edited by my boss). How do I show that my level of responsibility has grown?

“Assumed increasing levels of responsibility for X, Y, and Z.”

4. Being required to take time off

I work at a very large hospital in Georgia. My department has been mandated to take off 6 days in the month of December. My manager has told me that I (only me) needs to take an additional week off due to “workload.” I do not wish to use my vacation time for this week. Can she mandate me to take this additional week? It seems I am being singled out as no one else in the department has been told they also have to take an additional week during this time?

Yes, that’s legal, as long as the reason you were selected isn’t your race, religion, sex, etc.

5. Interviewer never followed up after missing our scheduled call

I was recently contacted by a recruitment specialist to discuss a senior-level job I had applied for at a small international NGO. We exchanged about 6 emails, with her asking me my salary requirements and then asking me my availability so that we could chat about the job by phone. She proposed the day and I proposed the time. Anyway, I brushed up on my interview techniques (using your guide, of course!) and the time for my phone chat came… and went without a call. Thinking she had gotten the time zone mixed up, I sent her an email to ask if we were still on. No response. So later on that day I called her office and was told that she was out sick. Fair enough!

Three days have now passed without a word. I decided to put matters to rest by phoning this morning and was told that she was “away from her desk” and was instructed to leave a voicemail.

I was hoping you might be able to help me figure out what’s going on. I’m not going to contact her further and I don’t mind if they may have filled the position but isn’t it unprofessional to set up an interview time with a candidate ( I took time preparing) and then never follow through by phone or email to cancel the session? This whole ordeal has left a sour taste in my mouth about the organization.

Yes, it’s extremely unprofessional. And rude. But also extremely common, unfortunately, particularly among employers who wrongly feel that they hold all the cards in a hiring situation. You can certainly continue to try to reschedule with her, but you’re right to be put off.

6. Listing multiple versions of software on your resume

When submitting a resume for a technical position, I hate it when people list every VERSION of the software they have experience on. I’ve seen people list every version of Word, Excel, Power Point, Access and all manner of other software. It doesn’t look impressive; it looks like you’re padding your resume. There are some things where listing the version of software will matter, but not basic things, which don’t change all that drastically from version to version or things which are so extremely outdated nobody uses them anymore. (No … I don’t really care if you’re familiar with Windows 3.1 and 3.11 … really.)

Agreed; it often looks like either resume padding or naivete about what’s significant. (Obviously, there are some software programs where it might matter, but Word isn’t one of them.)

7. Listing side work on your resume

I’m wondering what your opinion is on whether it’s wise to put a side job on my resume. I have a full-time day job and do some iOS app development on the side. I’m torn because the side business is successful and relevant to the industry that I work in. On the other hand, I don’t want an employer to think that I wouldn’t focus on my day job. I make it a point to separate the two responsibilities but it’s hard to convey that in a resume. The whole situation is complicated further by the fact that I’m updating my resume to apply for a lateral move within my present company.

If it’s relevant and strengthens your candidacy, I’d include it. However, be prepared for questions about how much of your time it takes up. And in some situations, you might even be told you’d need to drop it if offered the job, so you’d want to be prepared for that too.

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