Ask a Manager

It’s short answer Sunday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Photos on your LinkedIn profile

I know that photos in general should not be sent with resumes, etc., but from what I hear you are encouraged to post a picture of yourself on your Linked In page. I don’t think it’s a good idea, for all the same reasons you do not send it out with your resume or include it with online materials. Do you have an opinion or thoughts about this?

It’s fine to post a photo on LinkedIn (assuming it’s professional, doesn’t include your children, etc.). LinkedIn is different; it’s for networking and building relationships, and many people use photos to help people put a face with a name. That’s different from your resume, where the point is to explain your qualifications for a job, since what you look like isn’t part of your qualifications.

[And I know you could argue that employers might want to put a face with the name too, but (a) rightly or wrongly, photos with resumes are considered cheesy in the U.S., and (b) employers really don’t want to be accused of putting a race with the name, so are uncomfortable when applicants send photos.]

2. Can you have too many LinkedIn recommendations written at once?

Due to a corporate merger/company reconstruction, my position, along with over 150 others, were eliminated. In order to help me in my job hunt, I reached out to several people in my network via LinkedIn, requesting LinkedIn recommendations. While I was expecting a handful to respond, I’ve received an overwhelming response. I am extremely grateful that this many people are willing to vouch for my work, but am worried that it will it look suspicious to have so many (7 and counting) recommendations all written within days of each other.

In LinkedIn recommendations, does quality trump date and quantity? Should I approve all of these to be displayed on my profile?

Yeah, some people will notice that they were all written at the same time and will assume that they were the result of a push by you. How much this matters, I can’t really say. The fact is that LinkedIn recommendations don’t count for all that much — they were written for you to see, so employers know that they don’t necessarily tell the whole story.

3. Should I reapply?

Last week, I had an interview and didn’t get the job. However, I passed the personality and computer literacy test. I can reapply in 6 months. Is it worth reapplying or will I be denied another interview?

There’s no way to know, but what do you have to lose by reapplying?

4. Explaining a layoff in a cover letter or resume

I am a job seeker, having been retrenched. Your advice on how to graciously address the fact that I am not working, and why, would be much appreciated.

I prefer to get it out the way and mention it in my cover letter, or resume where there is not an opportunity to provide a cover letter, e.g. an online application. The real question is, how do I word it so that it does not reflect poorly on me? I have been advised, off the record, by HR at my former employer to say that my job was lost due to off-shoring of posts, and then to talk around it in the interview. While it is true that my former employer has a strategy of off-shoring, my job was lost because of poor business and the need to cut costs. I think that the advice was actually aimed at protecting my former employer’s reputation in the marketplace rather than to assist me! So, how do you advise I address this issue with prospective employers?

Whether your job was lost due to offshoring or due to the need to cut costs isn’t going to be all that relevant to prospective employers; your answer to them only needs to be that your job was eliminated in layoffs. Employers want to know whether you left voluntarily (and if so, why), or whether you were fired (and if so, why), or whether you were laid off. You were laid off, and you don’t need to get into details.

You really don’t need to get into this in your cover letter though, and definitely not on your resume. This is something for the interview, if you’re asked — not for your application materials, which are intended to demonstrate why you’re right for this particular job.

5. Will I qualify for unemployment if I’m fired for saying I plan to resign?

I’ve been with my company for about 10 years, and while I originally very much enjoyed working there, I’m now at the point where I’m unhappy there and need to move on. Because I put in so much time with the company and don’t like the idea of sneaking around interviewing, I want to let them know that it is time for me to begin the job search, or at least just tell them that I’m unhappy about my current responsibilities and if there is no change, I will be looking elsewhere. While I don’t believe they will ask me to leave upon hearing this, I do want to make sure I’m prepared just in case.

If they do terminate me because I expressed my intent of leaving, even if I haven’t officially resigned or advised them if a time frame, would I qualify for unemployment at all? I’m in NY, if this makes any difference.

I can’t speak to New York specifically, but in general, in most states, you would qualify for unemployment. In fact, even if you give a specific date of resignation — say, December 1 — and they told you to leave now, in most states you’d be eligible for unemployment between now and December 1.

However, I strongly encourage you to base your decision on whether or not to give them a heads-up on how you’ve seen them handle other people who have given generous notice periods. Have people been pushed out earlier than they would have otherwise planned to leave? If so, they’ve given up any entitlement to a long notice period from other people. But if they have a track record of accommodating long notice periods, has been grateful to employees who provide long notice, and has generally shown that employees can feel safe being candid about their plans to leave, then you should feel safe in proceeding with your plan.

6. Name-dropping in cover letters

I have a cover letter question. Is it appropriate to drop a family member’s name in your cover letter, ever? Or would it just come off as unprofessional or insincere? My case is my grandfather worked for a certain small sector of the government for over thirty years, and I am applying for a position there now. I would like to mention him because his career is inspiring to me and one of the reasons I am very interested in this field of work. I am not assuming they will recognize his name as he passed away many years ago, but who knows. I thought since this is a unique connection it might be worth noting. Would it sound better to leave his name out but still mention my grandfather worked as a [title], or leave out the connection out all together? My main concern is I will come across as presuming I will get the job because I have a connection.

And on a similar note, how do you feel about mentioning living family or friends who are currently working in the field you are applying to (assuming they are influential and well-known in this field)? Cheesy or helpful?

I’m not a big fan of name-dropping unless it’s something like “Jane Smith suggested I apply,” and Jane Smith is someone who the person reading your cover letter knows. Otherwise it sounds like name-dropping for name-dropping’s sake. The better way to utilize contacts who are working in the field you’re applying in is to have those people reach out to their contacts on your behalf to recommend you.

With your grandfather, I could potentially see saying something like, “My grandfather, Bill Smith, worked for XYZ Agency more than 30 years, and my talks with him about A and B are what originally interested me in the field.” But even then, you risk your reader wondering if you’re mentioning him because you think it’ll get you preferential treatment, so I could argue this either way.

7. Correcting a cover letter mistake

I am a recent graduate and I have been diligently working on job applications. Last month, I applied to a position at the global research department at HSBC’s investment bank. It was a long shot, but I later completed a first round phone interview and was told my application will be more thoroughly screened before deciding whether to invite me to a final round interview at their head offices.

Great, I thought. I checked my application again and then realized an embarrassing mistake this weekend. On one question on the application form, it was asked what interests me in applying for my chosen business area. So I spent a long time explaining what fascinates me about research. But at the last sentence I wrote “what attracts me to the fast-paced world of trading.” I had not applied to any roles of trading anywhere.

I know that since I’ve already gone this far, this small thing could undo my entire application. What do you recommend to salvage my mistake without drawing attention to it? I know this role is detail oriented, so I want to spin my message into pointing out how picky I was to point out a small mistake which is greater than a typo. Should I call the HR? Should I email the manager of the department? Or should I do nothing and accept whatever happens?

Do not call HR. The last thing they want is to be bothered with a phone call about this type of mistake. If you do anything, send a short follow-up email correcting it. It may or may not help, since generally they’re looking for candidates who will find the mistake before the material gets sent out, not after, but there’s no harm in trying. Be aware that they’re going to assume you were copying and pasting from another cover letter that really was about trading.

It’s short answer Saturday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Can I require an employee to work on Christmas Eve?

I just hired a dental assistant, and after the hire she informed me that she will not work Good Friday or Christmas Eve. Our business is such that those happen to be busy days for surgery. I went to the employee with a compromise of only working a half day and she refused, stating it was part of her Catholic religion not to work at all. I grew up Catholic and I don’t recall any such privilege. If I let this employee off on those days, I believe my other employees will ask also. Should I fire her and, more important, can I fire her? We only have nine employees.

The federal law against religious discrimination requires employers to reasonably accommodate employees’ religious practices, as long as doing so won’t cause “undue hardship” to the business. “Undue hardship” is anything more than minimal costs to the employer, which can include unfairness to other employees (such as the others who would like Christmas Eve off as well).

However, this is all irrelevant to you because the law only applies to employers with 15 or more employees, and you’re below that minimum. You’re legally able to tell her that working those holidays is a requirement of the job, and to let her go if she refuses (although it would be kinder to explain to her that you can’t let her take those days off and ask if she’d like to resign as a result).

2. Interviewer asked me to cover my own travel expenses but hadn’t given me a chance to ask questions about the job

I recently had my first Skype interview. The interview seemed to go well and they requested that we move to the next level of the process, with me visiting them for a follow-up interview, tour, and presentation. Their organization is halfway across the country from where I currently reside, and I would be expected to cover my own travel expenses. This did not surprise me, as it is (unfortunately) common in this particular field. However, what did surprise me is that I was not given time to ask any questions during the Skype interview; they stated that I would have an opportunity to ask questions during my visit. Is this normal? I decided to stop pursuing this position (over this and some other reasons), but I’m hoping that this isn’t to be expected from all Skype/phone interviews.

Well, they’re going to assume that you’ll speak up if you want something, like the chance to ask questions before flying out at your own expense. You’ve got to speak up for yourself. Ideally, you would have said something like, “I’m very interested in the job so far, but didn’t have a chance to ask questions of my own on our Skype call. Before flying myself out there, I’d appreciate that chance to find out a bit more about the job. Could we set up a quick phone call?”

3. How often is too often to reapply?

A company I would love to work for has had a position I’d be good for held open for several months now. While they haven’t been continually re-posting the position, they do have a bot that will occasionally refresh the position and several others on their Facebook and Twitter pages. I applied a while back, and I’m considering applying again, but my question is, how often is too often? I feel like jumping in every time the tweet or Facebook post shows up might look a little too desperate, but I do want to keep myself in their minds. For reference, this position has been open on what seems like a rolling basis for over a year and I had one awkward interview several months ago. How often should I reapply, if at all?

If you had an awkward interview for the job, it’s unlikely that they’re going to reconsider you … but there’s no harm in reapplying once. No more than that, though. They’ve already interviewed you and rejected you; it’s fine to re-suggest yourself, but doing it more than once would be overkill.

4. Applications that ask for every job you’ve ever held

A few jobs I’ve applied for have Internet applications that must be filled out that say things such as, “Starting with current or most recent, list all employers past and present. Include self-employment and summer and part-time jobs.”

This is for a professional mid-level job that requires a college degree. I am 7 years out of college and I’ve had two professional and relevant jobs in this time. For about six months post-college, I worked a variety of part-time jobs until I found full-time work on my career path. I worked part-time through college and had a variety of internships that would be irrelevant. I assume they are only looking at the relevant recent work, but if so why would they word it this way? I doubt they would care about my assistant manager shoe store job, but perhaps I am wrong.

Because they’re idiots and haven’t thought through what they’re asking for or why. Personally, I’d include only what I felt like including, but that’s an individual call.

5. Including a union steward job on a resume

This year I have been the union steward at my workplace. Should I include this on my resume? While it’s something I am proud of — it’s an unpaid position which I work hard at, which I devote a lot of time to, which I’ve received a lot of excellent feedback on, and which has given me a chance to develop significantly in many areas relevant to my social work career — I am concerned that some potential employers will read “union steward” as “rabble-rouser and malcontent.”

Some might. Others won’t. One way to look at it is that you don’t want to work for employers who do … but that’s an individual call.

6. Should I start looking for a new job?

At what point does someone my age and with my level of experience (27 and over a year of full-time under my belt after 3 years of part-time) start to consider a job search for better opportunities?

We’ve recently hired a part-time employee with the same job title as me — account executive. She’s 5 years older and has more experience overall, but has been a stay-at-home mom for 4 years. After deciding to reenter the workforce, she’s joined our small company. I immediately recognize her value to our company and know that I’ll learn a lot from her. However, she’s recently gotten several opportunities that my bosses have never presented to me. For example, she accompanied the owner on a feasibility interview for a fundraising client, and I was tasked with transcribing the one hour long recorded interview. Now, I’ll be attending a series of focus groups, not as a moderator, but as a silent note-taker and coffee-server. My new coworker will assist the owner in conducting them. Lately, we’ve also outsourced projects to contractors instead of assigning them to me. I feel like I’m consistently being demoted.

Well, your coworker has more experience than you. It makes sense that she’s being treated as the senior person between the two of you, because she is. And it sounds like you were happy with your job until someone more experienced started and was given higher-level work, which is a pretty normal thing for a more experienced person to be given.

That said, talk to your boss. Say that you’re interested in doing X, Y, and Z and ask how you can earn those opportunities. It might be as simple as asking, or you might find out that your boss wants to see you develop greater skills in A and B first. You won’t know until you ask.

I’d do that before you start thinking of moving on — primarily because it’s the logical thing to do, but also because one year isn’t a long time to spend at a job.

7. My employer controls where I park, even when I’m not working

I work for a not-for-profit gym in Indiana. My employer provides membership as an employment benefit. We pay the difference to add our families to the membership.

We have a policy that requires us, under threat of termination, to park in a staff designated parking lot whether we are working or using the facility to work out. My company does not own either parking lot. I usually acquiesce when I am alone or obviously or if I’m working, but can they dictate where I park when I have my children and we are coming to use the facility?

Yes. It’s a dumb policy, but there’s no law that prevents it. Actually, maybe it’s not even dumb, if this is part of the deal with your subsidized gym membership. If you turned down the subsidy and bought a full-price membership and they were still controlling where you parked, that would be dumb. But still legal.

It’s fast answer Friday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Did I wrap up this phone interview rudely?

I had a phone interview recently, and I thought it went great except for the end. The interview was scheduled for 30 minutes, but after both she and I had exchanged questions and answers, I had noticed that we had gone about 10 minutes over. In an effort to be conscientious of the interviewer’s time, I mentioned that I had enjoyed speaking with her, that I wanted to respect her time and that we had gone over. She then very quickly explained next steps in the process and thanked me for my time then we departed. Was this bad etiquette?

Well, I wouldn’t say it was poor etiquette exactly, but it was unnecessary and might have come across as you cutting the conversation a bit short. The interviewer would have wrapped up if she needed to; you didn’t need to worry that you were being rude by keeping her on the phone. In general, assume that interviewers will signal if they need to close the conversation, and that interviews often do go a bit over the scheduled time. They’ll tell you if that’s a problem.

2. Rude email from a coworker

I am a temp worker for an Accounts Payable dept. of a company and have been working there for two months while someone is on maternity leave. I have the least work to do, but am also getting paid the least. I am on top of my job and frequently have less work than my coworker who sits next to me. I have frequently helped out this coworker (when she asks me). However, today I got this email (also cc’d to my supervisor): “If you ever find yourself with nothing to do, I have tons of invoices for you to vendorize and statements to go through. Also, the file clerk always needs help matching checks. I encourage you to help out more in the office. Your emails will not change once read. Also, I found what I think is one of your hair’s on my desk I’m not grossed out but I do find it unsanitary that you habitually play with your hair.”

I was shocked and speechless. In my opinion, this woman does not work as productively as me or as she could. Additionally, there is another coworker (that she is related to) who finishes her work and does homework for a class she is taking instead of helping her, but I doubt she got the same email as me. I responded to the email saying that I felt I have been working effectively and finishing all my work and that I’d definitely help out more and was sorry she felt that way, but I want her to know that what she said was rude and deserves consequences. However, I want to remain in good standing with my supervisor. What are your thoughts?

Her email was rude, and if your manager has any sense, she read it as rude too. You don’t need to respond further. It’s not your job to give her “consequences.”

3. Negotiating salary for a promotion

On my first day of my new position, I was informed that plans had changed and that they wanted to transition me into a higher position within a month. They had indicated that there would be a salary increase, but they have been quite vague about it in terms of a specific figure. Aside from asking my direct supervisor, can you recommend any way for me to learn this information prior to the promotion such that I do not lowball myself in negotiation?

Just ask: “What is the salary range for the new position?” Then decide if you’re willing to do it for that amount or whether you want to try to negotiate. It would be pretty odd for them to refuse to tell you in this context (unlike when you’re applying from the outside.)

4. Does this mean I didn’t get the job?

I had an interview with 3 people. When I left, the director walked me to the door and said, “Thank you for coming out to meet with us.” Does that mean I didn’t get the job? I talked to the person i would be working with very closely today because my thank-you note didn’t go through and he said that I interviewed well and they had one more interview today.

I know interviewing is stressful and it’s normal to look for signals about how well you’re doing, but I will never understand why people read things like this into statements like this. It means “thank you for coming to meet with us,” no more and no less.

5. Employer doesn’t know that I live overseas

I recently applied for a virtual position within my industry. I got called for two interviews and they both went great. I hope to receive an offer in the next week or two. There’s just one little piece of information I wasn’t so forthcoming with during the interview process. I live outside the U.S. for most of the year, and the employer is under the impression I’m based in the U.S. While my physical location in no way impacts the work I’ll be doing (a shift well within waking hours where I live, all done online and communication is via IM and email), I can’t help but think I should mention this at least in some capacity (that I split my time or travel often, maybe not say I pretty much live overseas for the moment).

My fear would be to have them find out after several months if they request a phone call and see that my phone number is always from out of the country and feel like I misled them. If asked, I could say that I’m traveling, but if I always seem like I’m traveling, I don’t know what issues this would raise, if any. My instinct was to let them know I split my time overseas, but a friend told me that it’s best to not bring this up at all since it in no way impacts my work – that if they knew about my travels and had an identical candidate in say, Pennsylvania, they’d hire that person because it’s cut and dry. For the record, I’m American, have a permanent U.S. address and bank account. I have not lied at all during the interview process, but I also didn’t provide any additional details. Right now I’m just waiting on the next steps, but what would you do if you were me?

What?! No, of course you need to tell them (and they they absolutely will find out later). It’s relevant because they may need to you to come to their headquarters or other physical location without much notice (and yes, this happens even with remote jobs), may need to send you packages, may one day want you to take care of something in the physical location they think you live in, and who knows what else — and because, fairly or unfairly, it’s the kind of thing employers want to know. If you’re convinced it won’t impact anything, then explain that and why. But it’s not your call to make for them. And you will absolutely come across as having tried to pull the wool over their eyes if you don’t disclose this (and I think you know that, since you’re contemplating lying about it in the future). Ignore your friend!

6. Asking about being considered for a second position

I had a phone interview last Thursday with a hiring manager. During the conversation, I realized I was being interviewed for a newly posted position that they have and not the one I originally applied for. I didn’t get the job and I want to email him asking what happened to that other open position that I thought I was going for (it is still posted on their job site).

Just say: “Thanks for letting me know. I’d still love to be considered for the XYZ position if it’s still open.”

7. Typo in cover letter

I just realized that I have a typo in the first sentence of my cover letter, and I’ve used variations of this cover letter for the past 5-6 jobs that I’ve applied for. Here’s the kicker: I’m applying for writing and editing jobs! Yeah, oops. Instead of saying how excited I am by the (fill in the blank) job opportunity, my letter says that I’m exited. Exited is not even close to excited.

Have I just shot myself in the foot to all these employers? As soon as I saw the typo (today) I corrected it for cover letters moving forward, but I’m afraid I’ve just been laughed out of consideration for any position I’ve applied for up through now. Your thoughts?

It’ll vary. Some employers will discard you because of the error and because it’s an editing job, some won’t notice, and others will take note of it but not reject you instantly over it. You could certainly send a short follow-up noting the correction, though again responses to that will vary. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it though — you’re human and mistakes happen.

It’s terse answer Thursday — seven short answers to seven short questions. Here we go…

1. Asking to move an interview up

Just today, I was invited to interview for a position that I am very excited to be considered for. The interviewer let me know he wanted to get the ball rolling as soon as Monday. I picked a day later in the week because I had a bit more flexibility for that day. But as today has progressed, I’ve become more and more excited about the position. Would it be inappropriate to call the interviewer back and reschedule for Monday? Citing my growing excitement as the reason? Obviously if the interviewer has filled those slots, I understand that I would wait until the initial agreed upon time and date.

My original answer was going to be: Don’t do that. In a job search, you don’t want to look even remotely flaky, and citing your growing enthusiasm as your reason for wanting to muck with his schedule will look a little off (and also make you potentially look desperate/impatient). You scheduled a date; stick with it.

However, you could send him a note saying something like, “If you still prefer to meet on Monday, it looks like I’d be able to schedule it then. Please let me know if you prefer that, but otherwise I’ll look forward to sticking with our meeting time on Thursday.”

2. Is it ethical to write someone else’s cover letters for them?

I have helped several of my friends and family members with their job search materials (resumes and cover letters). My background is in English and writing, so I am a good copy editor and can help my friends clarify their ideas and accomplishments. Is it at all deceptive or unethical to completely rework their writing? For example, a friend of my husband’s cover letters were so poorly written, they almost read like a spam email. I am trying to coach him and explain my rationale for corrections rather than just writing a letter for him, but I find myself wondering if I am doing him or his potential bosses a disservice by “hiding” the fact that he is a poor writer. I taught English at the university level and take written communication very seriously. Put frankly, I wouldn’t hire him if I saw these letters cross my desk. (If it makes any difference, he is seeking work in an artistic or sales job.)

I think you’re doing both him and any prospective employers a disservice. They need to know who they’re hiring, warts and all. (At least when it comes to a common job skill, like written communication — not so much when it comes to his gum-popping penchant or whatever.) And your friend needs them to know too. That’s because if they care about getting a certain level of writing skill (and many employers do, even for jobs that don’t revolve around writing), there are going to be problems when they discover that that’s not who they hired. He could end up in a job he struggles with or even gets fired from. Coach him, but let him write his own letters — just like you might coach him on interview skills, but not do the interview in his place.

3. My coworkers make more than me

Two coworkers recently divulged their salaries to me, and I was shocked that they were $15k & $25k more than I am making. My education level is a bit higher (BS vs AS) than one guy ($15k guy) and more industry certification than the other guy ($25k guy). I have 20 years experience as compared to their 20 – 25. They are both about 15 years older than I am. Am I wrong in thinking that I am underpaid? If I were to approach my boss for a raise, is comparing myself to my coworkers a bad strategy? If he asks where I obtained that information, I am concerned that there could be repercussions for them and possibly for me.

Salaries should be based on the value someone brings to the role. I don’t know if your coworkers are more valuable to the company than you are, but it’s notable that your arguments for why you shouldn’t earn less are based on education and years of experience, two things that don’t automatically translate into increased value.

What’s more, people’s salaries often vary simply because one person was a better negotiator than the other when first being hired, or the job market was tighter when she was hired. In any case, if you think your performance warrants more money than you’re currently making, talk to your boss. But make it about your value, not about your coworkers’ salaries.

4. Coworkers won’t clean up their food mess

I need some advice. My coworkers bring in food on a regular basis. It is very nice; however, I seldom partake as I watch my diet. They constantly leave food out, or leave behind the mess that it has created. I have sent a note out regarding an issue regarding mice, somewhat hoping that this would send a clear message about leaving food out. Apparently this has not worked. As I am the administrator for the team, and being the low-man, I feel as though they always leave me to clean-up duty. Any suggestions?

There’s tons of input on this issue in the comments on this post, but realistically, this is an issue that chronically plagues offices and few people are able to solve it. That said, what about simply directing people to clean up on a case-by-case basis: “Jane, can you put away those muffins you brought in before you leave today? Thanks.” While ultimately this stuff will fall to you as the team’s administrator if no one else does it, it’s reasonable for you to exercise that duty by alerting people when they need to clean something up, rather than cleaning it up yourself.

5. QR codes on resumes

I’ve been considering placing a QR code on my resume that would lead back to a simple website I’d create. The website would have copies of my resume in several formats, a photo, and some work samples. In my line of work (communications/marketing), samples are fairly important, and I think this might be a more efficient approach than emailing a huge PDF file every time I apply for a job. In addition, I’m hoping that the inclusion of a QR code, plus the website, will show employers that I have some basic knowledge of tech-based communication techniques. What do you think? Is this something that can help me stand out from the herd, or is it one of those gimmicks you keep warning people to avoid? Also, would this make it harder for scanning software to read my resume?

Too many people have no idea what a QR code is and won’t know what to do with it when they see it. (For readers who don’t know, it’s a barcode that you can add to your business card or your resume. If someone scans it with a smartphone, it will link them to your online portfolio or your LinkedIn profile page or whatever.) Plus, few people are reading resumes on their phone; they’re reading them on a computer. Just include a URL that goes to all the same material (minus the photo, which is inappropriate to include).

6. Asking for a raise after saving the company money

I have been working for this company for roughly 3 months, and aside from my normal duties, given a personal hobby in automating processes, I was able to use that skill to save the company over $80k per year in terms of tedious work for employees. The application basically saves time on every task we perform during the day. Given that I worked for over 150 hours of my own time over 2 months on this side project and that my department plans on using the same skills for other projects, I am wondering if this makes me eligible to have a discussion about a raise. Note that I work in risk assessment and this was more of a technological initiative. Further, I am unsure of how to discuss the raise if yes. I am also a recent graduate and this is my first job out of University.

You’ve only been there three months. Wait until it’s been a year before you ask for a raise — but highlight this accomplishment when you do. It’s part of what will make your case for being a valuable employee at that point, but asking after three months is too likely to be seen as naive and premature.

7. Love my job, hate my boss

I am the only employee in a private practice criminal law office. I have been here 4 years and I love my job – problem is my boss has narcissistic personality disorder (undiagnosed). He has screamed, thrown things, threatened to fire me if I try to leave the situation (separate myself), and has in the past, pretended to fire me to see my reaction and to “teach me a lesson.” I am at a loss, and as with most narcissists, talking things out is not an option as everything is viewed as a threat or criticism. He has said that he would give me a raise after two years, then a bonus, etc., none of which have happened – I have not received a raise since starting here. What do you suggest, other than finding a new job (I have already applied elsewhere), as I don’t want to leave because I love what I do and the autonomy I have?

This is like saying, “I love my marriage, except my husband beats me.” You do not love your job, because your job involves working for an abusive madman. You cannot separate the two. You can’t even hope that your boss will move on to a new job eventually, because he owns the practice.

You can stay and put up with continued abuse (not recommended) or you can find something else and leave (recommended). When you’re dealing with someone at this level of insanity, there’s not really a third option.